I wish I had more time for, you.
They Say there is a reason
They say time will heal;
Neither time or reason
Will change the way I feel.
Gone are the days
We used to share,
But in my heart
You are always there.
The gate of memories
Will never close;
I will miss you more than
Anybody knows...
Love and miss you everyday
Till we meet again
Always and Forever
I remember the day that I found you. It was a really dark day, for me at least.
That day, I was battling my own mind, even after a thousand years alone on the moon I couldn't learn to cope with all my feelings. The feelings of inedaquacy, of jealousy, guilt...
I was out of myself, a totally different mare, that I want to believe. So out of myself that I could no longer resist my own ego and let own emotion overcome the little rationality I had left.
So much for leraning from past sins.
And so I fled.
I knew back then and I know now, that was one of my biggests acts of cowardice and selfishness. To leave my ponies, my friends, my sister...alone.
I remember the day beign pitch black, I made it that way. The nightsky reflecting my own state of mind will always remind me to be thankful for the gifts my sister and I carry.
Several miles from my home I found myself flying away. Trees and mountaints being the only things keeping me company. And the moon of course.
Its interesting how fate works. If I hadn't fled that day, in that particular direction at that exact time who knows what could have happened to you if I hadn't found you.
You were so cold, such a little thing left alone in the middle of the forest. I couldn't just ignore your small cries of anguish, even when my own self was yelling at me to ignore the noise I couldn't. I couldn't just leave whatever was suffering alone to its luck.
Im so grateful I didn't.
Your form was so small, totally naked and pink. Only some cloths covering your small frame. Your stubby arms barely being able to reach for my horn.
And your eyes...Blue like the nightsky.
I stood there, awestruck for what felt like an eternity. The sound of your voice crying was the thing that shook me out of my trance and I was able to see you. You were hurting, cold, damp and miserable. Losing bodyheat by the minute.
Whoever left you there was very luck that I found you alone...
It not secret that you don't carry any type of magic like ponies or any other equestrian race do. Still I believe you still carry something else, because when I was enchanted by you from the first that I saw you.
I know it may be too late to thank you but, thank you. You may not know it but you saved me. You were always there for me no matter what I could always count on you even if I didn't knew it.
And to think that as your mother I was supossed to be the one protecting you, the one that would look after you and be there for you...
Still. Every dark night, when I found myself flooded by guilt and insecuirities you were there, and even as a baby you had something in you that kept me out of those bad thoughts.
For all of that I thank you, I deeply thank you my dear Anonymous for everything youn have done for me.
Remember your teenage years? Because I do.
You were growing up so fast it honestly was very scary for many reasons. Before I knew you were taller than my sister!
Such a handsome stallion it wasn't a surprise that even without being a pony you still had this exocit glow in you that drove mares crazy. To much to my dismay.
You never settled down though, preferring a a life of studying and exploring the many wonders this world still holds secret, for the better of ponykind and your own curiosity.
That, and a life by my side.
Sometimes I feel sad, as if in my own selfishness I somehow robbed you out of a fulfilling life of love and family. Even after you saying that it was the path YOU have chosen the thought never left my mind, and probably never will.
Did I ever tell you that I knew you saw me cry sometimes? You may not know it but after every moment of weakness I always saw your eyes having this spark, that look of determination that didn't waver for a second until you made things alright, just for me.
What did I do to deserve you...
No pony knows this, but every passing year, every new wrinkle on your face I saw felt like a bucket of ice cold water, waking me up from the dream that was my life, reminding me of something that I dreaded since the first day I took you in.
Nature.
I tried everything I could put my whooves on. Magic, spells, artifacts, runes, old magic, BLOOD magic, everything!. Yet nothing got me even an inch closer to keep you here.
I even tried to convence my sister to see if I could turn you into an Alicorn, imagine! As if it was something that was possible... Not my proudest moment I gotta be honest.
It was a normal day. We were having a nice picnic under the old apple tree near the special spot we both shared for taking a break from any problems we had. You were unusually cheerie that day I remember.
We where having such a perfect evening, The food was delicious, the run was shinning so nice, nothing to envy from my dreamscape.
Such a perfect day, ruined by my naive self
"How nice would it be to have an apple right now"
You immediatly rushed to the tree, saying that you would get me the biggest, juiciest apple I have ever tasted in my own life. I shouldn't have humored you.
I shouldn't have been distracted by the sunset. I should have catched you when you feel from that tree.
A small whimper was all I heard before I saw you laying on top of the roots from that old tree, clearly in deep pain.
Before I knew it my magic was already wrapped you and I was rushing towards the closest hospital.
The doctors said there wasn't any permanent damage, that your hip would be good as new in just a few weeks, that you only needed to use a cane for a little while after. What bunch liars.
Your body could have healed fine, but your mind was the the one that took the most trauma.
After that day something inside you changed that Im sure of it. The flame that burned on your eyes waver ever so slightly. You took longer to do things, your voice cadence was slower, more tired even. It felt as if life slowed down just for you. It pained me so much seeing you like that.
I remember you laughing, that it was just the age, that its just nature working its magic. I knew you were right, that it was just time taxing its cut for all those happy moments we shared.
Still, It was almost unbearable to see you age so quickly.
Time went so fast, in what seemed just the blink of an eye you were gone, all I had left was an empty room, your belongings, and the memories we shared over the years.
Dust and echoes.
It was an october, just months after your 73 birthday when you left. Now everytime I see falling leaves I can't stop thinking about you, my dear.
Its not fair...
There's still so much I wanted to tell you. Since you've been gone..
I want you to know how different life around here is. Even though I still cherish every memory with all of my heart, I still wish you were still here.
Every day I look at your picture, everytime I go to sleep and everytime I wake up. I touch your face through the fram, looking at your sweet smile and I always smile back. It has become a ritual, every day before starting my day full of tasks and things to do.
Most ponies I see don't know, not even my sister can comprehend the huge hole in my heart, the now know that I see things differently from them.
It OK that they don't. Im not bitter nor angry. I am Just bereaved, and missing a big part of me.
You were beloved not only by me but by a lot of ponies. There were even a couple who gave your name to their own as their middlename...
You probably would have been a husband by now, or even a father if I didn't...
Your time on this world was not short but it felt so brief in retrospective. There was so much we wanted to do.
On this day, the day of your birthday, I want you to know how much I miss and love you.
You always made this day so special for me with just your beautiful smile and presence.
I will try not to cry, but most likely will. Beign your mom brought me so much joy. I will forever miss that.
I am eternally grateful for the honor of knowing you and the pleasure of raising you, seeing you grow and become the stallion I always been so proud of.
I'll love you forever, till the end of times
With eternal love, your mom,
Lulu.
