High Stakes

by Graymane Shadow

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Princess Luna
Length: 1380

Four princesses play poker. More than mere bits are at stake.

After an intense disagreement, the four Princesses of Equestria decide to settle their dispute over a game of poker.

Underestimating your opponents has consequences.

Featured from March 24th to March 27th, 2022, peaking at #1. Thanks, everypony!

Published 2022-03-24 17:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-03-24 17:10:00 UTC

This One's For All The Marbles

“Check.”

It made for an unusual sight - the former and current Princesses of Equestria and the Crystal Empire, all gathered around a small table for a common game of poker. Yet this was no ordinary game, and the stakes would have shocked the common pony.

Cadance flicked a glance at Twilight, trying to read something in her vacant expression. Unfortunately, the youngest member of the group had gotten much better at bluffing over the years; if she was giving something away, Cadance couldn’t make it out. And she’d promised not to use her empathic abilities to cheat.

Turning her eyes back to her own cards, she sighed internally. “Check.”

To her left, Celestia tapped the table, indicating she also wanted to check.

That left Luna. The Lunar Princess hadn’t even picked up her cards after the first glance, instead preferring to stare out the window behind Cadance.

“Sister?”

“Bet,” Luna replied, still not looking at the game. She levitated a stack of chips toward the center of the table. “One hundred.”

The other three exchanged looks.

“Call,” Twilight responded, matching Luna’s stack of chips with one of her own.

“Fold,” Cadance said. With nothing in her hand and only the pair of sixes and an eight on the table available for use, she wasn’t willing to risk whittling down her meagre pool of remaining chips on a whim.

Celestia stared at her sister, eyes narrowed. Cadance imagined she could hear the gears grinding in that ancient, cunning mind, a mind that sometimes had proven too clever for its own good. She wondered whether that would be the case today.

“Call,” Celestia finally said.

Luna, who was dealing, flipped over another card for the table. Cadance immediately felt relief - a king would have been no help to her.

She looked over at Twilight. In contrast to her earlier mask, Cadance noticed a slight loosening of Twilight’s jaw.

A good thing, or a bad thing?

“Check,” Twilight said.

Celestia set her cards down. “Bet. Two hundred.”

“Raise,” Luna immediately replied. “Four hundred.”

Cadance was even more glad she’d folded when she did. The mood in the room had shifted considerably - it was clear that after three hours of play, everypony was eager to end it. Besides, the festivities would be starting soon.

Twilight and Celestia were both quick to match the raise, and Luna followed by flipping the last card, a nine.

“Check,” Twilight said. Cadance noted that her jaw had tightened again.

“Check,” Celestia followed.

Luna’s magic pushed a small mountain of chips into the pot. “Bet. One thousand.”

Cadance expected Twilight to fold. She’d have to go all in to match Luna’s bet, and if Cadance was reading what she thought Twilight’s tell might be, she suspected the last card had not been to her benefit.

Twilight, however, just smiled. “Call.”

If the mood had been cool before, it was now downright frigid. Celestia stared at the mountain of chips in the pot, then made a show of checking her cards one more time before smiling, grabbing all her remaining chips, and shoving them into the center.

“Raise - five-thousand sixty.”

Now Luna turned her attention from the window. Her teal eyes were filled with barely contained amusement as she fixed her gaze on her sister, a hint of a grin playing at her lips.

“Would you care to make things more interesting?”

Celestia’s white teeth flashed in response. “What did you have in mind, Lulu?”

“I’ll match your raise, and I’ll throw in something else.”

“Oh?”

“If I win, you have to change the linens in the house for a year.”

Celestia winced, and Cadance could understand why. The two sisters hated changing linens, especially given the sizes involved. Magic could only help so much where elastic and mattresses were involved. “And if I win, the same for you?”

Luna nodded, still grinning. “Deal.”

Both of them appeared to have forgotten Twilight was still in the game, but the Ruler of Equestria seemed content with that fact…which made Cadance suspicious.

Either she’s got the best hand ever, or she’s got some other motive in mind.

“All right, time to show your cards,” Luna said. She gestured to Celestia.

The Sun Princess smiled, turning her cards over one at a time to reveal that she had a full house.

“Not bad,” Luna replied, her smile fading. “Really, a good hand any other time.”

Celestia’s face fell as Luna flipped her own cards over, revealing a pair of sixes - giving her four of a kind.

“Now remember, Tia, I prefer all the pillowcases changed with every wash, not just the ones I use. It’s best to -”

She cut off as a ten and a seven flopped on top of her cards.

“Wha…” she began, before her eyes processed what she was seeing.

“Straight flush,” Twilight said, looking for all the world like the cat that ate the canary. “Now, since the both of you lost, that means you have to go to the Gala.”

The two eldest Alicorns wore expressions of shock and disappointment.

“In addition, since you forgot to ask me if I wanted to make things interesting, I think I get to decide how I want to collect on that bet. Right, Cadance?”

“Of course,” Cadance replied, always amused to pull a light prank on her aunt.

Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “What do you have in mind?”

“I’ll let you both out of going to the Gala -”

“Deal!” Luna and Celestia said in unison.

Twilight smiled again, raising one hoof. “In exchange for changing my sheets for a year.”

“You have staff to do that, Twilight,” Luna started to point out, but Celestia winced.

“She…doesn’t, actually.” The eldest princess looked apologetic. “I signed a decree that required Twilight to clean her own room for the first ten years of her rule.”

“And wouldn’t you know, there’s still a year left to go on that decree,” Twilight replied. “And since the two of you agreed…”

Cadance was fighting not to giggle at the looks on her aunts faces. Celestia in particular looked like she'd just sucked on a lemon.

“Very well," Celestia finally said. "In exchange for not going to the Gala, we will change your sheets monthly.”

“Weekly,” Twilight replied. “You can alternate.”

There was some collective grumbling at this, but they relented.

“Excellent.” Twilight stood, motioning for Cadance to do the same. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to prepare for the Gala. Pinkie’s catering, and I hear DJ Pon-3 has an especially good setlist planned for this year."

“You…you got a DJ?” Celestia looked shocked.

“The pink one is catering?” Luna asked, a burble coming from her stomach.

“Oh, did I fail to mention that I made the Gala into the hottest party of the year?” Twilight grinned. “Must have slipped my mind. Ah well, maybe next time. C’mon, Cadance. Time for us to paint the town red.”

"I can't wait," Cadance replied, winking at her aunt as they turned to leave. "See you both later!"

The sound of two sisters starting to squabble was cut off just as the door closed.

As they walked, Twilight started to giggle. Softly at first, though it quickly grew into a real laugh that required her to stop, bracing against one wall of the palace as she let whatever was amusing her work through her system.

Cadance watched all this with a mixture of amusement and confusion. Sure, Twilight had pulled off a decent prank, but it didn't seem to be that funny...

Finally calming enough to resume walking, Twilight wiped away a few tears before saying, "How...how long do you think it'll be before they realize I didn't actually say they couldn't attend the Gala?"

Cadance rapidly thought back. "Oh, you sneaky little mare."

Twilight grinned. "We can giggle about it more while we sample the treats. C'mon, I'll race you to the kitchens."

Author's Note

Yes, I'm aware a straight flush is convenient, but the poker isn't the focus of the story anyway.

A reminder that I recently opened a Discord server, the details of which can be found here.

Thanks for reading! I hope it provided a small break from your day.