Chapters Chapter I: Into the World
"I'm telling you, Equestria's system of governance is horribly defunct! What with the way we lost Stalliongrad, that should've been apparent. We practically have no state apparatus beyond shifting celestial bodies and issuing currency, our military is a handful of royal guard detachments with no officer cadre to speak of, and our legal codes are nonexistent." Dreamer Glisten just kept belting out criticisms that, by his reckoning, an effective state would have him jailed for if only they weren't true. Professor Pleasance sighed. They were standing in her office, and she was quite disappointed.
"More of this, really?" The unicorn mare shook her head and looked at the ground. "Dreamer, while you may live up to your name, you do really need to stop fantasizing about ruling the world." Here she goes again. Dreamer thought. Unicorns were just so uncompromising at times. He did not at all fantasize about ruling the world. Well, not since he was a filly anyway. He flipped his mane out of his face and gathered himself. Debating could make him heated, and it was important to remain calm.
"When was the last time you heard of anypony living outside of the greater Canterlot area paying taxes? The rule of law just isn't enforced out there. Impromptu local governments, lone vigilantes, and ad hoc squads of adventurers have to deal with any problems that arise out in the country, or anywhere outside of Canterlot for that matter. National security threats have to be dealt with either directly by the Princess or by that de facto militia we call the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. We need a coherent state to secure the freedom of the nation and the ponies!"
"If you like that so much, you may as well just move to Stalliongrad." The professor replied.
"Stalliongrad is part of the problem! We should never have allowed them to secede, and now that they have, we need to have firm relations with them." He guffawed at her geopolitical ignorance. His passion boiled. "I'll tell you what. I'll travel Equestria and find out how local authorities deal with issues facing their communities and pen a treatise on how these solutions can be implemented on a national scale." Professor Pleasance was stunned at this outburst, but sighed again, and bade him good luck.
As easy as it is to settle into a calm, peaceful life as a Canterlot academic, with a long, fulfilling career ahead of him, Dreamer Glisten had other plans. He had five doses of ponybalm, a dozen apples, a few treatises and tomes on the social sciences, and a blank manuscript that was to be the first edition of "Dreamer's Travels," a firsthand account of his own journeys across Equestria. All of it was crammed tightly into a colorful woolen bag he wore around his shoulder.
"You forgot your scarf, pal!" Called Calico, his Earth Pony roommate, whose coat matched his name. "I'm gonna miss you when you're gone." Calico threw a pink and blue scarf around Dreamer's neck.
Dreamer replied. "I won't be gone too long but thank you. I've paid my share of the rent ahead of time, so no need to worry about that." He was in truth glad to be leaving. When he had first arrived at the Canterlot University of History, Dreamer was still practically a filly, and the city and the campus had seemed so exciting to him, but now those same old streets almost taunted him with their familiarity. It was just impossible to get lost here anymore!
Yes, stepping outside, Dreamer could feel his hollow bones crying out for adventure as the sun hit his glasses, making them glint, and warmed his fur from the chilly morning breeze. He took flight, soaring up from the courtyard of his apartment block, doing a swirl in the sky around the building, and making a few Earth Ponies and Unicorns jealous of his wings as he did. He flew south, heading to one of the smaller, yet more famous spots in Equestria: Ponyville. He threw back his mane and howled with delight! "Get ready, Equestria! I know I am!"
The first few hours went quickly, dawn's chill fading into a warm summer morning. It was probably a good time to rest, and Dreamer could hardly keep himself in the air any longer. Extended flying is tough, and he had never really done any before.
Dreamer let himself down with grace, banking into a wide meadow that opened up out of a forest and was nestled into a small but quickly flowing river. He landed softly in the glade, and let down his bag, before curling up beside it to sun himself in the grass. As an afterthought, he discarded his pink sandals, and began partaking in the tall, unkempt grass around him. It was delicious.
All was well until it began to rain.
What began as barely a sprinkle quickly picked up, becoming for all intents and purposes a downpour. The torrentiality of it threatened to flood the river, and spill it out over the field, not to mention the water was soaking his bag, so Dreamer took flight and swooped into the tree line.
The pegasus found no reprieve under the canopy of the forest, as the rain was so heavy even the springtime leaves couldn't block it all out. He scanned his surroundings for shelter, his mane already soaking.
There! A cave! He banked down into a ravine, and took a sharp turn sideways, nearly wiping out against the dark-gray rocks of the mouth of a cave. He pulled up just in time to avoid rolling down into its depths, and let out a sigh of relief.
Realizing he had forgotten his sandals spurred him to action again, however, and he dropped his bag in the cave, and went to go get them. As he returned from the meadow, he saw someone, neigh, something picking through his bag! A diamond dog!
Author's Note
This is the first ponyfic I've ever written, so I hope everyone enjoys the first chapter!
Chapter II: Let Slip the Dogs of War
Dreamer Glisten could hardly believe his eyes. He had heard about these creatures! Diamond Dogs! What could it want from him? He had no gems, and no way of finding any. The mongrel was just rifling through his multicolored woolen satchel.
"What do you want?" He called out, hovering in the air above the mangy cur. A reply came from the thing's raspy throat as it looked up to regard him.
"There you are, pony!" It practically howled and ambled forward, closing the distance between them until they were right on top of each other, quite literally. "I have something you can help me with, and if you do, I'll gives you backs your bag." Dreamer was incandescent before he could even say anything. He readied a storm of words to fume at the beast.
"That's extortion, you mutt! Quit giving me these horseapples and give me back my bag!" After finishing his brief tirade, he cursed under his breath. Had he made a bad impression on someone because of a cultural misunderstanding? Flipping his wet mane out of his face, he took a deep breath and calmed himself as best he could. "I am so sorry about that outburst. What can I help you with?"
The dog's jaw had first curled into a hardened snarl, but now simply smirked. This pony was going to help him with no further coercion? Alright then!
"Precious pegasus," the churlish thing began. It was not lost on that pegasus that he had been complimented, and he blushed a little. "We needs you to pull! "
As if on que, two more dogs came into view, these ones armored in plate and carrying spears dragging a cart from the depths of the cave. Dreamer obediently landed next to the cart, inspecting the rusty contraption and the equally worn harness by which it was pulled. WIthout warning, one of the dogs slammed the harness onto Dreamer's shoulder. He recoiled with shock, but was quickly realizing that even if these dogs were hostile, they clearly had him outmaneuvered. Not that they were, of course. This was all clearly a cultural misunderstanding. It was probably common for ponies wanting to take shelter in their tunnels to be put to work as compensation. He bit his pride and began to pull as they directed him, deep into their tunnels.
Hours later, Dreamer was exhausted, but his spirit would never flag. He had seen much within these caverns, and was already taking mental notes. It was truly fascinating how this society was run. The common grunts of Diamond Dog civilization hardly spoke, but were stronger and better armed than their more intelligent counterparts, who ordered them around. The tunnels spun and twisted in every which way, and he had to be guided through them lest he get lost. Clearly these creatures had some sort of preternatural navigation to keep them oriented within them. As the sun began to sink (by his reckoning, anyway) on the horizon (not that he could see any horizon down here), the dogs began to trickle out of the main caverns and into smaller grottos that they slept in.
Dreamer shook off the harness of the gem-laden cart once he realized nopony was watching him any longer, and began to wander. He had pulled gems from all over the tunnels into one specific chamber in the back of the vast mine where a humungous Diamond Dog had scooped them into an even deeper chamber. It was with no small curiosity that he made his way again towards this chamber, but not after harnessing himself to the cart once more. He was heading that way, after all.
Having always had a good sense of direction, Dreamer arrived soon enough at what he assumed to be the penultimate chamber of this labyrinth. Unbridling himself from his cart with a sigh of relief, he heard the loud snoring of a Diamond Dog just through the tunnel at the far end of this chamber. It spoke to the brutish nature of these creature's sinuses that this fast slumbering was audible from over thirty feet away.
Dreamer crept forward, aware of the noise each footfall made. Squeezing through the tunnel at the far end, he saw that enormous dog, curled up and knocked out cold. He stepped into the grotto that accommodated this magnificently savage beast, feeling a strange sensation akin to fear and reverence, not only for the big dog himself, but the veritable dragon's hoard of jewels it slept atop.
He advanced toward the beast, checking to see if anyone was behind him before creeping deeper into the chamber. Gingerly at first, he began to speak.
"This really is a well-functioning outpost. You do a great job keeping everyone in line, and it has paid dividends." The great dog stirred, sending gems tumbling from the top of the pile to its base. He continued. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd actually like to ask you a few questions about it." Looking up, the hairy fiend processed the words being spoken, and its malicious glare at being disturbed quickly became a prideful smile. Dreamer continued his entreaty. "I am Dreamer Glisten, a student of political and social sciences. I am travelling Equestria to study local systems of government firsthand, and was impressed by the strong apparatus of your polity." The dog was very obviously failing to comprehend the finer points of Dreamer's speech, but liked the sound of it anyhow. It replied.
"Pony..." it began, its breath like rancid fish carcasses, "...what do you want to know?" Dreamer smiled.
"Well first thing's first, if I could just have my bag back..."
The enormous dog sagged with exhaustion already. Dreamer always did his best thinking on hoof, and had insisted his captor walk with him through the winding tunnels as they spoke. It had been three hours. The marble-colored pegasus had been interviewing him about how he'd come to lead this particular pack of Diamond Dogs, how he kept order, what kinds of problems he had encountered, and how he'd solved them. Then came the questions about political theory. The dog was fine enough at spinning tales of (his own) great deeds, but then that little pony would ask him something like "Were you influenced by the works of Caramel Marks?" and the mighty hound would have no response. The little pony in question was taking vigorous mental notes, and one could practically observe the gears turning in his very head. After fully a minute of Dreamer expressing his shock that Play-Hoof's theory of Forms hadn't factored into the political philosophies of the Diamond Dogs, enough was enough.
"AAUAAAAAEAAAAHHHGGGG!!!!!!" Screamed the canine. Dreamer considered that he may wake the others, but realized that they probably wouldn't even hear it over their own snoring. The bestial cry had startled him though, and he recoiled somewhat.
"Are you okay, sir?!" He asked quickly. The reply he received was another such moan of internal pain.
"Stop talking, pony! " Dreamer stammered an apology, but was shouted down again. "I said STOP! " Before he could even think, Dreamer was checking his bag was hooked securely over his shoulder, and bolting out of the cave.
Chapter III: Ponyville at Last!
Bolting out of the cave, bag in tow, Dreamer was fueled on adrenaline alone. Until, that is, he realized that fact, and collapsed only a few feet into the forest.
He awoke. His head, neck, shoulders and flanks burned. He felt upheaval in his joints and in his bones. They cried out. That, he realized, was what had awoken him. Opening his eyes, the colt saw he was inside of a wooden shack. Light dimly streamed in through windows and cracks, but most of the light was ambient, coming from candles.
He rose from a cot near the center of the hut, and took a more thorough look around, scanning over the masks, fetishes, ingredients, and effects within the hut. In its epicenter was a cauldron of boiling liquid that, if scent was anything to go by, was a heavily-spiced vegetable stew. Dreamer called out.
"Hello? Is anypony there?" No reply came. As Dreamer smelled the air again, picking up the tantalizing scent of the cooking stew, he realized that he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning! Come to think of it, he wasn't even quite sure what time it was now. This hut was in the middle of the same forest he'd come into, and it appeared to be mid afternoon. He cautiously approached the boiling cauldron, and sipped from it. It tasted good.
After scooping more out with a bowl he'd found on the floor next to the cauldron, Dreamer lapped it up vigorously, and scooped out more, holding the bowl in his mouth. When he had eaten his fill, the pegasus colt left the bowl where he'd found it. Nobody needed to show him the door.
The air outside was gloomy and humid, the forest was dark. Dreamer Glisten followed the path leading away from the hut he had been in. Eyes seemed to watch him from behind the tree line, but he whistled to himself, and kept walking. His legs still burned from yesterday's exertions, so he took flight, and soared over the canopy of trees.
Surveying the landscapte, to the north he saw the mountains that Canterlot was perched atop, to the east he saw the ruins of a castle, above him was the great metropolis of Cloudsdale where he had been born, and just a mile or so to the northwest was his destination! Ponyville!
Gliding down from high in the air, Dreamer watched the ground coming closer and closer to meet him. He dove and pulled up with intuitive timing, and landed trotting into the vibrant streets of Ponyville. Ponies, mainly of the Earth and Unicorn variety, but also a few pegasus foals who had yet to come into their gift of flight watched him. One such foal who was playing in the streets galloped off. Poor colt must be frightened. Dreamer thought.
He continued moving, only walking now. The first day of one's expedition into an unfamiliar but friendly land should be spent scoping it all out, and getting a sense for how everything worked here.
His first stop was the spa. He had done a fair bit of research on the popular hangouts and locales of Ponyville, and was happy for it. This place was renowned for its ability to give an exhausted pony a youthful glow, and its comfortable atmosphere was said to be first rate. Dreamer cursed his own thoughts. He was really beginning to sound like a Canterlot pony. A part of him had always wished he'd stayed in Cloudsdale, but on the other hoof, he wouldn't trade his experiences in Canterlot for the world. They had shaped him into the capable, elegant pony he was today.
Paying at the counter, Dreamer had himself signed up for the "royal treatment" when a snow white mare with a mane of fine magenta walked in beside a yellow pony with long pink locks.
"Oh hi! You must be new in town! I am miss Rarity, pleasure to meet you." The first one said. The other looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't. Dreamer smiled, happy to be getting acquainted with the locals.
"Hello, I'm Dreamer Glisten," he began, "I'm visiting Ponyville to do research on forms of local government across Equestria. This is actually my first stop." Rarity turned to the mare at the desk and spoke calmly.
"The usual, please." She then turned back to Dreamer. "Your mane is quite nice, do you put product in it?" She asked him.
"I do! Just generic conditioner, but it goes a long way." He blushed at the compliment. Rarity paid for her treatment and the three of them went into the spa to receive their treatments.
Rarity and Dreamer talked for several minutes, mainly of Rarity complimenting his mane and accessories, before the third pony finally spoke up. Her name was Fluttershy, and it was a name she lived up to.
"Dreamer, dear, what was it you said you did again?" Rarity asked him.
"Well, I studied political science in Canterlot, and now I'm going on a bit of a field study, travelling Equestria to learn about local governments." He replied with a small measure of pride.
"Well, the pony to talk to about that would be Twilight Sparkle, I think." Said Rarity, with confidence. Fluttershy piped up.
"Yeah, she or the mayor, but it might be hard to get an appointment with the mayor, so probably start with Twilight."
It was at this point that a comet of cyan and rainbow hurtled through the front door.
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"
Author's Note
This one chapter took like three times as long to write as the previous two put together, but I'm happy to say it's been worth the effort, and the creative gridlock. Hope you all enjoy!
Chapter IV: Taking Flight
Dreamer regarded the neon blue pony that had just streaked into the spa as a shooting star across the sky. The rainbow-maned mare spoke again.
"Name's Dash. Rainbow Dash. You've probably heard of me, I'm a bit of a local celebrity here, and in Cloudsdale." She explained in a way that could only be described as "awesome," "cool," or perhaps even "radical." Dreamer responded, still reeling from the shock of this 'Rainbow Dash' intruding upon a pleasant spa-visit with two newly acquired acquaintances. Recognition dawned on him, however, knowing she was the greatest flier to ever come out of his hometown. He was just a touch starstruck.
"Mine is Dreamer Glisten, it's very nice to meet you! You say you've been looking for me. Why is that?"
"Well, some Pegasus filly saw some cool trick you did, and came to tell me about it! I thought maybe you could show me, because his description of it wasn't very good." Dreamer blushed. He seemed to attract an awful lot of attention. Well, except for Canterlot, of course.
"I'd be happy to show you once I get done with my spa treatment! Care to join us?"
The rest of the afternoon went fast, splashing around with Rainbow Dash in the spa, even long after Rarity and Fluttershy had gone home. Fluttershy had invited Dreamer over to have tea sometime before she'd gone, and Rarity had told him to come by her shop if he were ever in need of a nice dress (which he very well was). Despite the latening hour, Dreamer was still feeling quite energetic, and suggested some night flying to Rainbow once the spa closed.
Stepping outside, the two took off! Rainbow was first off the ground, rolling into a loop-de-loop from not far off the ground. Dreamer was impressed, and said as much as he launched himself skyward.
"That's amazing!" He exclaimed, already a little short of breath.
"Heck yeah it was! See if you can keep up!" Was her reply.
Dreamer banked upward, wings beating quickly, and made his way to quite some height into the sky. From there, he saw Rainbow Dash spiralling up at a far greater pace than him. She was such an impressive flier! He called out.
"Watch this!" As he swooped downward, picking up tremendous speed. Nothing special by Dash's standards, but certainly tremendous for his. He pulled up near the ground and began to trot along it at a far greater speed than normal, accelerated by his beating wings. "This is the trick you heard about." He stated matter of factly, though the heady feel of the wind through his beautiful mane still had him almost dizzy.
"I can do that!" Was Rainbow's reply, and before it had even left her mouth, she was screaming through the air, striking down to the firmament, but saving herself at the last moment, replicating Dreamer's trick, but even faster! Before he could even restrain himself, Dreamer was smiling and gawking at the same time. Rainbow Dash slowed to a stop and wheeled around before taking off again, this time slowly, and drifting right past Dreamer, who was still speechless. "That is how it's done."
"Wow, Rainbow!" Was all Dreamer could muster. He caught his breath, as all this trick flying had tired him out already. "I should probably be finding somewhere to stay now, as it is getting quite late." He panted. "Do you know anypony who might be able to help me out with that?"
"Well..." Rainbow Dash thought for a moment, "I know Twilight has plenty of extra space in the Library. Maybe you could talk to her. I can go with you if you want." Dreamer nodded, and before he'd even finished nodding, Dash was taking flight once more, and he found himself following as fast as he could.
Chapter V: Twilight at Twilight
The pair of Pegasi flew towards the Ponyville Library, which was hewn from a hollowed-out tree. The cyan mare with a multicolored mane flew much faster, eclipsing the distance in seconds, while the marble-colored colt did his best to keep up, panting as he flew.
This colt was Dreamer Glisten, an academic and scholar of the social sciences, born in Cloudsdale, who studied in Canterlot, and had traveled now to Ponyville for some field research. Night had fallen on his first day in town, and it was time for him to find somewhere to stay. That somewhere, Rainbow Dash had assured him, could very well be the library.
Rainbow Dash arrived first, by a long shot, and flourished her wings casually, spiralling up around the hollowed tree and plunging backward when she'd made a full circumnavigation, landing on the ground right next to Dreamer when he arrived.
"Nice trick!" He rasped between heavy breaths. He shook the sweat from his tail and mane, before approaching the door of the oaken library.
"I know!" Rainbow boasted as she trotted beside him. Dreamer raised his hoof to knock on the door, and when it opened, it had been answered by a sleepy-looking baby dragon with blue scales and a green frill on his head.
"Good evening, we're closed." He didn't close the door though but waited for Dreamer to speak. Before the colt could speak, the baby dragon recognized Rainbow Dash, and waved. His expression became a chipper smile.
"Hey Spike!" The mare spoke, her smile softening.
"Hey there! I don't recognize your friend here." Spike replied.
"It's his first day in Ponyville, and he needs somewhere to stay. I was wondering if you had any space in the library for a bookish colt to lay his head." She explained. Spike stepped out of the doorway to let the two in and called upstairs.
"Hey Twilight, there's someone here who'd like to see you." Appearing at the top of the staircase was a lavender mare, a unicorn, with a straight mane, and a cutie mark in the shape of a star. Her eyes were wide and curious. Her gaze was friendly. She spoke.
"Oh, I wasn't expecting anyone. Do they know the library's closed?" She asked. Spike replied:
"He does, he's just new in town and was wondering if we had space for him to stay."
"Oh! I'd love to talk!" Seeing the colt entering the library, she exclaimed. "Hi! I'm Twilight Sparkle, it's nice to meet you."
"I'm Dreamer Glisten. We have synonymous surnames, it would seem." He smiled, and she returned it.
"That we do! Our first names are also at least tangentially comparable too!" She trotted downstairs to welcome Dreamer into the library, and felt a little guilty about putting off cleaning up the library until tomorrow. It looked like a disaster area, with books strewn every which way, and extinguished candles lying about the place. Dreamer didn't seem to mind. He idly examined the shelves and rows, occasionally remarking on a particular title she had in stock. It was only after Dreamer tripped and fell over a stack of books while absentmindedly pacing as they conversed that the pair decided to study quietly, get some rest, and continue talking come morning.
Chapter VI: Dialogues with Twilight
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 