An Anomaly Too Far

“Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.” – Murphy's many laws

Date: Unknown
Location: Unknown
Mission: Deliver Secure Laptop to The Client (On Hold)

Pain...The only thing I could feel running through my body was pain, I guess all that means i am not dead yet so that's good. but for now, though I am in a pretty fucked situation. After picking myself up off the ground I start to look around to see just where the hell i ended up at.

It was odd, the area i was in felt familiar and so alien at the same time. The whole area was covered in a thick fog, so thick in fast I couldn't see past fifty meters Infront of me. Just then, out of the corner of my eye i saw what looked like a dark outline of a vaguely humanoid figure. Panicking I dropped down to one knee and leveled my rifle at the figure. Not knowing its intentions i call out to it hoping for it to respond in kind.

" IDENTIFY YOUR SELF ASSHOLE" I waited for any kind of response but received none, until the figure finally stepped out from the fog. When it finally come in to focus, I couldn't believe my own two eyes.

A female with what looks like white fur with crimson hair a horn and fucking wings. She was wearing clothing what could be inferred as regal by nature. Standing on two legs and looking so much like a human but with enough difference to tell she is not. After possessing this new information, I found myself at a loss for words.

Breaking the silence, I got up to my feet and slightly lowered my rifle and asked " Who and what the hell are you?".

Then after clearing her throat, she then with a booming voice, "My name is Faust former ruler of Equestria, and as for what I am I assume you have never meet a pony am I right?".

Dumbfounded, just what the fuck am I dealing with here. I then answer her back with my rifle still at a low ready, " You are correct I have never meet one of your kind before."

Faust then with a warm smile asked," I didn't catch you name what might I call you?"

I replied," You can call me David, now I hate to be rude, but I am on a strict timeline here, do you know where the hell we are?"

She took some time to ponder my statement and said, " Well we are in a magical area not relegated by the laws of time and space."

At this point I let myself lower my guard a bit more and slinged my rifle across my chest. After lowering my ski mask and taking a sip of water from my camelback I answer back,

" well that's just fucking great....so now what, am I able get out of here or am i just stuck here with you....No offence".

" None taken, and yes, I know of a way out but I cannot be certain on where you might end up as a result". She said with a look of concern towards me.

Thinking about what she said, there, right in front of me was a weird horse girl offering me a way out of this anomaly. I don't fucking trust her at all but I don't have a fucking choice in the matter now do I?

I need more information to go off of, I will ask her a few questions to get a better read on her and how fucked I am. So looking her in the eyes i ask.

"I have two questions for you Ms. Faust. One, just how do you intend for me to get out and two why are you helping me in the first place?" I ask in an almost interrogative inflection. It is hard to read her face and body language, and I have a feeling that she is either just going to bullshit me, or that this whole time I have been hallucinating about this horse chick. I hope its option A because I don't know how I fix option B.

Faust then in an upbeat response said " Well to answer the first part I will use my magic to teleport you to safely out of this dreadful place. As for the second question I was hopping you might help me."

Here we go, everybody needs something done. I just hope it's nothing weird...I can't do weird. Dangerous, life threating, that I can do but not weird. Oh, fuck I better not change into what here the hell she is.

Then after a long pause Faust then finally finishes her statement." If you end up in my world, I ask that you check up with my daughters and see if they are well. I have not seen them in so much time and worry for them. But that is only if you are sent there."

That whole request is a giant red fucking flag. First off magic, come the fuck on I aint some greenhorn in the zone to believe some horseshit like that...Ironic I know, and secondly, she implies that I could probably be sent just about fucking anywhere in her world or mine. Fuck me man, i just can't fucking win now can't I. Well i got a 50/50 shot so fuck it, beats being here.

"Fine, we have a deal Ms. Faust, now firstly I need their names and what you daughters look like. Second off What do i get in return, I don't do jobs for free for anyone, its company policy" I utter trying to ascertain just was the hell I am about to get into happy ass into.

A lengthy sigh of relief came from the mare and after she spoke up answering my questions," Well they are not easily missed they bare wings and a horn just like mine, trust me those combined features are very rare in combination in my lands. The oldest is Celestia and the youngest is Luna. As for a reward I cannot offer anything physical, but I can offer you a certain magical aid for you in your quest."

"Magical aid...what are you getting at here, listen I take cash and sometimes favors not cheap parlor tricks from...whatever you might be" I retort having pulled my mask up and reaffixing my helmet.

Then I saw her horn light up with a bright glow near blinding me, instinct took over and i reached down for my rifle trying to bring it to bare toward her direction.

"Trust me you will know of your reward it in due time my warrior" That was all I heard before the world around me went black i slipped into unconsciousness. Well shit, did she kill me? i mean fuck why did i trust the thing in the first place. I guess I just have to hope I get sent back to Ukraine...please send me back.

Date: Unkown
Location: Unknown
Mission: Deliver Secure Laptop to The Client
Locate Two VIPs for the former ruler of Equestria and ensure the assets wellbeing

Grass. When I came too, I fell the embrace on wet grass soaking threw my mask. Just what the hell did she do to me? Then after getting my sorry ass off the ground, I just stood in complete shock at just where the fuck i was. A forest she sent me to the red forest, right? for just a brief moment I was happy, pissed off and scared at the same time. Until I took a better look and noticed that the forest was just a tad too green to be located in the hellish radioactive landscape of the zone. I needed to get my shit together, panicking now would just get me killed. I needed to figure out where I was and from there I can get as better picture on my current situation.

After completing a quick check on my gear and ensuring I have all my equipment on hand. I then pull out my PDA in an attempt to see if it will show me just where the fuck on earth I am. Except it didn't, no service at all, no map no GPS, fucking nothing at all. Not a very good sign if you ask me, so now I will have to do land nav the fucking hard way. I looked up towards the thick canopy just to see if the sun was rising or setting. Well fuck it, the sun was setting so I headed westward towards it.

But before I did thought of what Faust said before I woke up here.

"Trust me you will know of your reward it in due time my warrior".

Yeah, just what the fuck does that mean and also how will she know when i find her daughters? Will her magic bullshit just know automatically because fucking reasons? I have WAY too many questions right now and no answers for them, after my nice little talk in my head I finally decided to start moving out of this green hell.

To say my trek through this forest was uneventful would be a bold-faced fucking lie. I was hunted like prey the entire time, and when the sun went down it got a whole lot worse. Bringing down my nods i could now see my hunter clearly for the first time. Definitely wolfs but their bodies weren't of flesh but of wood. I was surrounded by three sides by wooden wolfs, I didn't have the time to question it at the time due to me about to get mauled to death. So, with my threats clearly in sight I brought my rifle up and hopped they weren't made of bulletproof magic bullshit wood.

The first wolf was brought down quickly with only a few shoots from the m4, the other two managed to conceal themself by diving in the brush. Yet I could still hear very faint rustling all around me, until one leaped behind me managing to sink its teeth into my right leg. That would be its last mistake however, I swung my rifle down and hit the fucker with the butt stock right on its forehead crushing it. It left behind an oddly green blood coming out from its skull, then as i panned around I couldn't hear any more movement. Taking this opportunity, I look down towards my leg, and it wasn't as fucked up as I though in might be, Blood was coming out at a steady rate, however. So quickly I reached for my IFAK and pulled out some disinfectant and bandages to clean the wound and stop the bleeding.

Great just fucking great. I won't be able to go anywhere quick with my leg like this, and i don't want to drain all the batteries i have just to find a way out. I had to wait out the night now, and i was not at all happy with it but i was tired as all hell. being up for i think two days Stright is not very healthy for you, nor is getting maul to death but i already delt with that. So, first things first i need to get wood for a fire, thankfully my firewood just so happen to rest right next to me. So, with that i dragged the remains of what used to be a wolf thing into a makeshift campfire. This took me around 20 mins to get prepped and when the fire lit up endless joy shot across my face, after grinning like an idiot i sat down next to the fire and took inventory of my food, water and ammo.

I Have eight full magazines of 5.56 on my rig at one mag at half in the m4, two plus one mags for the USP and forty loose rounds for the m40a3. As for rations i have about three days worth of MREs and enough water for only two days, not two terrible but i would rather find some kind of civilization soon.

So, let's go over on what the fuck just happened, One, I got a nice simple easy job, Two, easy job had me deal with crazy fucking zone worshippers that refuse to die, Three, I jumped into a weird time fucky wucky space anomaly and made some shitty deal with a weird horse chick, and finally four, I got dumped into a random fucking forest where I have no signal and the wolfs are made of wood.

I swear to God if someone asks me how my day was, I will probably lose my shit and beat the hell out of them just out of spite....