Author's Note:
I'm putting this into the body of the chapter to pad out the wordcount, as Fimfic does not count emojis as words when they clearly are. Especially when you basically use them to invent your own pictographic language on the fly. It's still the spirit of the contest, I'm sure. Given the extra time and effort readers will have to expend just trying to translate what exactly I'm trying to say here, this will most likely end up as the 'longest' story in the contest regardless. I'm curious to see how well you guys will be able to understand what each string of emojis means. Theoretically, even somebody not fluent in English could feasibly 'read' a good chunk of this. Be sure to comment with any questions and share your interpretations of the madness!
~ 🖋💭🌈👨
It was an ordinary morning in Ponyville. So ordinary as to be cliché. The sun hung ripe in the cloudless sky, and the residents were going about their lives amidst a pleasant lull devoid of monster attacks or wildly escalating friendship problems. One such resident, among the most well-known of ponies in town, was full of energy even at this early hour: Pinkie Pie. Ever exuberant, she went about her work with a grin from ear to ear, optimistic as always about the day ahead.
However, a shiver unlike any she'd ever felt before crept down her spine. A dread warning from her Pinkie Sense, moments before disaster struck.
For that was when, all of a sudden, 🙂🥡🦄🌎🔚
🧁🐴🛑🚆🔚🧁🐴😮🔚🧁🐴🍃⬇🎂🔚🧁🐴👀🎡🔚🚫🧁🐴🎁😄🔚🧁🐴💬Am I the only one seeing this... what do I even call this? A Doozy of the Medium?
👩⚕️💓🐴⏸👄☕🔚👩⚕️💓🐴💬💩🔮❓👩⚕️💓🐴💬🎁🌄💯🔚
🧁🐴🤔🔚🧁🐴🧁🐴💬Okay, something very, very fishy is going on here. I should probably get to the bottom of it! 🧁🐴🙆🕵️♀🧢🔚🧁🐴🎭☝🔚 Twilight will know how to fix this! At least, I hope she does.
🧁🐴😤🔚🧁🐴🐰📤⬜📐🔚🧁🐴🏃👑📚🦄👭🏰🔚🧁🐴💪🚪🔊🔚Twilight! Twilight, it's an emergency! The author of this story has gone mad!
🕒💜🐲🚶🧁🐴🔚💜🐲💬🧁🐴😨❓💜🐲💬🧁🐴💭👑📚🦄👨🔧❓
🧁🐴💬Yes! Where is she? This is urgent, I need to see her like RIGHT THIS SECOND!
💜🐲💬🧁🐴🥅😐🔚💜🐲💬👑📚🦄✅📜❌🛌🔚💜🐲💬👑📚🦄🔜😠🔚
🧁🐴💬Don't worry, I won't tell her you let me in. Thanks!
🧁🐴👋💜🐲🔚🧁🐴🏃❌🛌🔚🧁🐴😕⏫🔚🧁🐴💪🚪🔊🔁🔚🧁🐴👀👑📚🦄🔚🧁🐴💬You're still here, thank goodness! Wait, what am I saying, of course you are. But seriously, Twilight, I am low-key freaking the heck out right now.
👑📚🦄😟🔚👑📚🦄💧✅📜🔚👑📚🦄💬🧁🐴⛔❓
🧁🐴💬What's wrong? The world is broken! Cast into a depth of lunacy even Discord would not dare fathom! And nopony else seems to notice!
👑📚🦄🐢💬🧁🐴⛔❓
🧁🐴💬All the words in this story except my dialogue have been replaced with EMOJIS!
👑📚🦄😒🔚👑📚🦄💬🧁🐴🥅😐🔚
🧁🐴💬Ugh, that's what Spike said! But it's true! And if it continues for much longer, both me and the readers will go crazy. Or go do something else. But I don't have that luxury! The only luxury I have is this giant portable snow cone machine. 🧁🐴💈💁🍧📟🔚
👑📚🦄💬👑📚🦄🚫👨🔧🔚👑📚🦄💬💡🧁🐴🚶❌🦋🐤🐴🔚
🧁🐴💬Oh, good call. Even if she's also clueless, at least she'll probably also have some nice chamomile tea. I could really use a cup right about now. Bye, Twilight, enjoy your scheduling and blissful ignorance!
🧁🐴📤👭🏰🔚🧁🐴🌌🦋🐤🐴🏡🚽🔚🦋🐤🐴🎁🛁🔚🦋🐤🐴😱🔚
🧁🐴🐑💬Sorry! I was aiming for the flowerpot!
🦋🐤🐴🤦🔚🦋🐤🐴💬👌🔚🦋🐤🐴💬❓
🧁🐴💬I'm guessing you haven't noticed the emojis either?
🦋🐤🐴🙇🔚🦋🐤🐴🏜🦋🐤🐴🔚
🧁🐴😞🔚🧁🐴💬Figures. Still, could I maybe, possibly, impose for a bit longer? Like, help me get used to this?
😵🎲😈🚀🌌📥🦋🐤🐴❌🚽🔚😵🎲😈💬😵🎲😈👨🔬🙂🥡🦄🌎🔚
🦋🐤🐴😩🙄🔚🦋🐤🐴🙋😵🎲😈🔚
🧁🐴🚫👀🦋🐤🐴🔚🧁🐴😲🔚🧁🐴💬Wait, you do? This isn't a prank, is it? Because if it is, it's a pretty bad one by your standards. Like, I'm the only pony who's even noticed!
😵🎲😈💬🤞🚫😵🎲😈🔚😇🚀⬆😵🎲😈🗣🔚😵🎲😈💬➕😵🎲😈💭🙂🤣🔚
🧁🐴😩🔚🧁🐴💬Well, it was kinda funny at first. But I deem the joke to have officially run its course. And I'm also an authority on jokes. So, could you make it go away, please?
😵🎲😈🤝🗣🙅🔚😵🎲😈💎📯☢💲🤶🦐👾🤸🥓👠🔚😵🎲😈🤣🔚😵🎲😈🌌📤🔚
🧁🐴⏸🕒🕒🔚🧁🐴💬I'm not going to be able to unsee that, am I?
🦋🐤🐴🤢🔚
🕒🕒🧁🐴➕🦋🐤🐴👄🍵🔚🧁🐴😐🔚🧁🐴✅👭👌🔚🧁🐴📥❌🍎🌳🔚🧁🐴👀🍎🥃🐴🔚🍎🥃🐴😣🔚
🧁🐴🙋🔚🧁🐴💬Hey, AJ. I was just about to ask how you were doing, but that face you're making kinda tells me everything already.
🍎🥃🐴💬I reckon it would. I'm trying very hard not to lose my marbles after wakin' up to a right ridiculous situation.
🚀🧁🐴➕🍎🥃🐴😲🔚🍎🥃🐴💬Hold up, y'all ain't talking in nightmare runes! I thought I was the only one!
🧁🐴💬Woah, no way! Me too! Until Discord popped in, at least, but still. I didn't know you could also see past the fourth wall!
🍎🥃🐴💨🥇🎵🔚🍎🥃🐴💬Normally I can't, but our author pal decided I should be able to for this story. You know, since I'd taken that part over for you in that one spinoff show.
🧁🐴🤝👍🔚🧁🐴💬Right, right. Not gonna have an existential crisis? 'Cause if so I am prepared to console you with snow cones.
🍎🥃🐴💬Nah, I went through that already when we ended up in Thought Prism's Archer crossover some years back.
🧁🐴💬Oh, he gave you your memories too! That's like the cherry on top of the sundae! 🧁🐴😁🔚🧁🐴💬I never get to talk to anypony about this meta stuff. Well, besides Sangria and Ripcord that one time. Wanna chat about fanfics until the story hits precisely a thousand words and becomes eligible for the contest? 🧁🐴😉🖋🚲👩🔚🧁🐴💬It'll be fun!
🍎🥃🐴💬Sure thing. Do we wanna stand around out here in the orchard or go take a load off in the farmhouse? Because if we move it'll just make more emojis. And it's a beautiful day. Small mercy, that.
🧁🐴💬Yeppers, here is fine. So, how about these My Little Pony enjoyers, eh?🧁🐴😏🔚
🍎🥃🐴💬Less of 'em around lately, that's for sure. Most of the new kids brought in by our equally marketable successors probably aren't going to find this site. I, for one, don't mind being out of the spotlight after over a decade. Back to the simple life. Or as simple as it can get, at least.
🧁🐴💬Also, Fimfic's userbase shrinking might be a good thing, given what some of these authors like to write about foals...
🍎🥃🐴😡🔚🍎🥃🐴💬No kidding. Still, there are enough honest holdouts left kicking around to keep the new content coming for a while.
🧁🐴💬Our man TP here is one of the good ones, if I do say so myself!
🖋💭🌈👨💬Wow, Pinkie, that nickname is terrible. Between that and the wordcount, I'm calling it here.
📖🛑
