Author's Note:
I'm putting this into the body of the chapter to pad out the wordcount, as Fimfic does not count emojis as words when they clearly are. Especially when you basically use them to invent your own pictographic language on the fly. It's still the spirit of the contest, I'm sure. Given the extra time and effort readers will have to expend just trying to translate what exactly I'm trying to say here, this will most likely end up as the 'longest' story in the contest regardless. I'm curious to see how well you guys will be able to understand what each string of emojis means. Theoretically, even somebody not fluent in English could feasibly 'read' a good chunk of this. Be sure to comment with any questions and share your interpretations of the madness!
~ ๐๐ญ๐๐จ
It was an ordinary morning in Ponyville. So ordinary as to be clichรฉ. The sun hung ripe in the cloudless sky, and the residents were going about their lives amidst a pleasant lull devoid of monster attacks or wildly escalating friendship problems. One such resident, among the most well-known of ponies in town, was full of energy even at this early hour: Pinkie Pie. Ever exuberant, she went about her work with a grin from ear to ear, optimistic as always about the day ahead.
However, a shiver unlike any she'd ever felt before crept down her spine. A dread warning from her Pinkie Sense, moments before disaster struck.
For that was when, all of a sudden, ๐๐ฅก๐ฆ๐๐
๐ง๐ด๐๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฎ๐๐ง๐ด๐โฌ๐๐๐ง๐ด๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐ง๐ด๐๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌAm I the only one seeing this... what do I even call this? A Doozy of the Medium?
๐ฉโโ๏ธ๐๐ดโธ๐โ๐๐ฉโโ๏ธ๐๐ด๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ฎโ๐ฉโโ๏ธ๐๐ด๐ฌ๐๐๐ฏ๐
๐ง๐ด๐ค๐๐ง๐ด๐ง๐ด๐ฌOkay, something very, very fishy is going on here. I should probably get to the bottom of it! ๐ง๐ด๐๐ต๏ธโโโ๐งข๐๐ง๐ด๐ญโ๐ Twilight will know how to fix this! At least, I hope she does.
๐ง๐ด๐ค๐๐ง๐ด๐ฐ๐คโฌ๐๐๐ง๐ด๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ด๐ช๐ช๐๐Twilight! Twilight, it's an emergency! The author of this story has gone mad!
๐๐๐ฒ๐ถ๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ง๐ด๐จโ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ง๐ด๐ญ๐๐๐ฆ๐จโ๐งโ
๐ง๐ด๐ฌYes! Where is she? This is urgent, I need to see her like RIGHT THIS SECOND!
๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ง๐ด๐ฅ
๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฆโ
๐โ๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ ๐
๐ง๐ด๐ฌDon't worry, I won't tell her you let me in. Thanks!
๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ฒ๐๐ง๐ด๐โ๐๐๐ง๐ด๐โซ๐๐ง๐ด๐ช๐ช๐๐๐๐ง๐ด๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌYou're still here, thank goodness! Wait, what am I saying, of course you are. But seriously, Twilight, I am low-key freaking the heck out right now.
๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ๐งโ
๐๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ง๐ดโโ
๐ง๐ด๐ฌWhat's wrong? The world is broken! Cast into a depth of lunacy even Discord would not dare fathom! And nopony else seems to notice!
๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ง๐ดโโ
๐ง๐ด๐ฌAll the words in this story except my dialogue have been replaced with EMOJIS!
๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ง๐ด๐ฅ
๐๐
๐ง๐ด๐ฌUgh, that's what Spike said! But it's true! And if it continues for much longer, both me and the readers will go crazy. Or go do something else. But I don't have that luxury! The only luxury I have is this giant portable snow cone machine. ๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ง๐๐
๐๐๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฆ๐ซ๐จโ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ก๐ง๐ด๐ถโ๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐
๐ง๐ด๐ฌOh, good call. Even if she's also clueless, at least she'll probably also have some nice chamomile tea. I could really use a cup right about now. Bye, Twilight, enjoy your scheduling and blissful ignorance!
๐ง๐ด๐ค๐ญ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ด๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐ก๐ฝ๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐ฑ๐
๐ง๐ด๐๐ฌSorry! I was aiming for the flowerpot!
๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐คฆ๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐ฌ๐๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐ฌโ
๐ง๐ด๐ฌI'm guessing you haven't noticed the emojis either?
๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐
๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌFigures. Still, could I maybe, possibly, impose for a bit longer? Like, help me get used to this?
๐ต๐ฒ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ค๐ดโ๐ฝ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ฌ๐ต๐ฒ๐๐จโ๐ฌ๐๐ฅก๐ฆ๐๐
๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐ฉ๐๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐
๐ง๐ด๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐๐ง๐ด๐ฒ๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌWait, you do? This isn't a prank, is it? Because if it is, it's a pretty bad one by your standards. Like, I'm the only pony who's even noticed!
๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ฌ๐ค๐ซ๐ต๐ฒ๐๐๐๐โฌ๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ฃ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ฌโ๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ญ๐๐คฃ๐
๐ง๐ด๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌWell, it was kinda funny at first. But I deem the joke to have officially run its course. And I'm also an authority on jokes. So, could you make it go away, please?
๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐
๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐๐ฏโข๐ฒ๐คถ๐ฆ๐พ๐คธ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐คฃ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐๐ค๐
๐ง๐ดโธ๐๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌI'm not going to be able to unsee that, am I?
๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐คข๐
๐๐๐ง๐ดโ๐ฆ๐ค๐ด๐๐ต๐๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ง๐ดโ
๐ญ๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฅโ๐๐ณ๐๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ฅ๐ด๐๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฃ๐
๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌHey, AJ. I was just about to ask how you were doing, but that face you're making kinda tells me everything already.
๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฌI reckon it would. I'm trying very hard not to lose my marbles after wakin' up to a right ridiculous situation.
๐๐ง๐ดโ๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฒ๐๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฌHold up, y'all ain't talking in nightmare runes! I thought I was the only one!
๐ง๐ด๐ฌWoah, no way! Me too! Until Discord popped in, at least, but still. I didn't know you could also see past the fourth wall!
๐๐ฅ๐ด๐จ๐ฅ๐ต๐๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฌNormally I can't, but our author pal decided I should be able to for this story. You know, since I'd taken that part over for you in that one spinoff show.
๐ง๐ด๐ค๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌRight, right. Not gonna have an existential crisis? 'Cause if so I am prepared to console you with snow cones.
๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฌNah, I went through that already when we ended up in Thought Prism's Archer crossover some years back.
๐ง๐ด๐ฌOh, he gave you your memories too! That's like the cherry on top of the sundae! ๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌI never get to talk to anypony about this meta stuff. Well, besides Sangria and Ripcord that one time. Wanna chat about fanfics until the story hits precisely a thousand words and becomes eligible for the contest? ๐ง๐ด๐๐๐ฒ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ด๐ฌIt'll be fun!
๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฌSure thing. Do we wanna stand around out here in the orchard or go take a load off in the farmhouse? Because if we move it'll just make more emojis. And it's a beautiful day. Small mercy, that.
๐ง๐ด๐ฌYeppers, here is fine. So, how about these My Little Pony enjoyers, eh?๐ง๐ด๐๐
๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฌLess of 'em around lately, that's for sure. Most of the new kids brought in by our equally marketable successors probably aren't going to find this site. I, for one, don't mind being out of the spotlight after over a decade. Back to the simple life. Or as simple as it can get, at least.
๐ง๐ด๐ฌAlso, Fimfic's userbase shrinking might be a good thing, given what some of these authors like to write about foals...
๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ด๐ฌNo kidding. Still, there are enough honest holdouts left kicking around to keep the new content coming for a while.
๐ง๐ด๐ฌOur man TP here is one of the good ones, if I do say so myself!
๐๐ญ๐๐จ๐ฌWow, Pinkie, that nickname is terrible. Between that and the wordcount, I'm calling it here.
๐๐