{Mmm~, Time For Slaanesh}

There was a long, pregnant silence as I and my brothers stared upon the mare who had breached the Warp in one of the strangest ways possible. The thought among us as a group was that yes, the Warp is technically a place where thoughts and imagination become manifest, but does that truly count it as a dream?

Perhaps it would be interesting to consider this place an Eternal Dream… oh that actually sounds like a really fucking cool name for it! We could call psykers ‘Dreamers’ and have Warp Travel be called ‘Sleepwalking’!

I shook my head and got back to addressing the elephant in the room… the rather shapely, well-toned and decidedly juicy looking elephant—

I was brought out of my musings by a swift blow to my head, one that forced some unexpected clarity, I blinked the daze from my eyes as I took note of Tzeentch holding a—

“Did… did you honestly create an actual ‘No Horny’ bat just to hit me with it?!” The question was rhetorical, obviously, he was holding an actual baseball bat with ‘No Horny’ painted along its side.

“Had to be done, Sis, I had to ensure you didn’t pounce on our guest, what with how attractive she is.”

Thing was… yeah I was totally about to do that, being the one attuned to lust and pleasure really does influence a person. And that’s probably what Tzeentch had realised, the others quickly agreeing… by the Warp was it great to have other versions of you to keep yourself in check.

“Couldst somepony please explain what is happening?! What manner of nightmares are thou?”

Nurgle blinked, and then began seeming nervous. “Okay, who wants to tell her?”

…OH…

“Not it!”
“Not it!”
“Not it!”
“Not— oh fuck you all!” Khorne grumbled angrily as he marched over to meet with the alicorn, already dreading the expected reaction she’ll have.

“Princess Luna, we are not nightmares, we are real gods, and you’re currently peering into our plane of reality.” He stated incredibly politely.

And we had five comparatively blissful seconds, before the mare decided to just shoot moonbeams at us, because the only thing worse than powerful attacks that hurt, are mildly stinging attacks being repeatedly done to you without a way to retaliate.

…okay, without a way to retaliate without rendering her a vegetable.

“Guys, help! It’s getting into my eyes!”

“We aren’t exactly being spared ourselves, Khorne!!” Tzeentch yelled to his brother through the assault.

“The light! It irritates! IT IRRITATES!” Nurgle screamed out.

“Oh come ooooon~! Why are you zapping my ti—IIITS~!!”

It took several hours for her to eventually confirm that yes, we were not dream creatures plaguing the minds of sleeping ponies, and that our claim of being actual deities in a plane of reality linked to the minds and souls of living beings was accurate… all it took was for one of the hardier zaps to get me in the balls and… well at least my brothers weren’t in the way of my ‘ejection’.

Also, apparently my goddess spunk makes materials have multiple orgasms on contact… neat.

Thankfully, being an astral projection, we didn’t need to worry about her being unable to recover, and she was able to shakily get back onto her feet and dissolve the mess with a spell. “... Our apologies, we did not expect beings such as thee to exist without physical avatars, much less share such a realm, please forgive us.”

Tzeentch moved to placate the mare immediately. “It is… quite alright, Princess, we won’t hold such a thing against—”

“Neigh! We cannot accept a mere wave of thine hands on this matter, we hath overstepped our bounds and committed an attack upon thou and thine domains, and must submit myself to your punishment—”

“Slaanesh, I can see you drooling, no.” Khorne immediately barked out.

“But it’s not faaaiiir, she said punish and everything!”

“No raping the Alicorn! She was left incapacitated by you just nutting on her! NO.”

“...Meanie…” I pouted and turned away, all the while Luna appropriately blushed from the overheard conversation.

“...Anyways you didn’t exactly harm us, at least one of us can attest to that, so we are willing to just let bygones be bygones.” The Forge of Knowledge finishes.

“What even are you, to just casually brush off the full might of the moon’s power?”

“I think we’ll let your sister fill you in on that.” Tzeentch adds with a giggle as he looks right at me, deciding to torment me with my already bluing balls. “Just remember the names Khorne, Tzeentch, Nurgle and Slaanesh, and await the fireworks… now trot off before Sister misplaces her self-control.”

Luna really wanted to ask what he meant by ‘fireworks’, although she also did not want her dream-self’s rather radiant chastity to be lost, so she promptly bolted, door slamming shut afterwards.

“...maybe we should work on getting more cultists… ooh! And definitely have them set up a nice round Daemon Gate for reasons!”

The three of them all groaned… no idea why.

{Celestia, Third Person, Everfree Castle Gardens, the next day}

It took a bit more out of the princess today than it did two nights ago, and that was concerning. There was only so much Order Magic she could call upon at any given time, and it seemed that with each morning, Discord’s statue began to suffer another crack, the seal growing ever-weaker. Her only comfort was that the weakening had slowed thanks to her efforts.

“Sister.” Celestia turned to the voice, finding some relief in seeing her sister had arrived, she had been so isolated recently, concerning herself only with watching over the dream realm, maybe with her here, she can finally handle this.

“Luna, thank the heavens, I need your help, we need to use the Elements of Harmony.”

“What? Why would—Discord?!” she shouted in realisation as she saw the state of the Draconequus’ prison. “What… how… how long has this been going on?”

“It started two nights ago, and it’s been attempting to accelerate. If I hadn’t been there to hold back his escape, he would’ve gotten free before the sun had risen.”

“Right, I’ll retrieve them now, I’ll explain last night’s meeting after.”

“Wait… meeting with who?” the Sun Diarch asked carefully.

“Oh, I met these four gods-” oh no… “-who inhabit a plane of reality connected to the realm of dreams,” oh… no… “I believe their names were ‘Corn’ ‘Zinc’ ‘Slanish’ and… ‘Nerville’?”

“Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh and Nurgle…”

“Yeah, them.”

“Oh… buck, they’re linked to Pony Minds?!” she yelled in panic.

“Sister, I don’t understand why you are troubled, they seem nice!”

“Luna! I just learned of them from a Guard called Shaker Stone, those are the four gods of—”

*CRACK*

That one… was right over one of the eyes.

“...Chaos…”

“Oh, ponyfeathers.”

And then the statue exploded.

{Khorne here! Get your Khorne!}

I blinked as something proceeded to enter the Warp… and then leave?! Like, no, this wasn’t just Warp Travel, this was something’s presence suddenly existing in the Warp, and then it was fucking gone.

“That was weird, didn’t anyone else see that?”

“Whatever it was, it made me… uncomfortable, it seemed to notice us and then leave.” Tzeentch replied.

“Welp, my boner’s gone.” Slaanesh said in a perfect impression of the No-Life King.

“I really wish Shaker was around whatever happened to explain what that even was.” Nurgle commented.

Speaking of… “What’s she even doing now?”

“Well from the looks of it, she’s been preparing to get some of her friends to join her religion.”

“How’s it going?” Tzeentch asked our brother.

“Well…”

{And the Award for first ever first person Pony POV goes to… Shaker Stone!}

I slid over to Silk Striker, who was making his rounds after recovering from my outburst, I smiled slyly. “I’d like to introduce you to my religion.”

“What’s your religion?” he asks, deadpan.

I say nothing, instead simply sliding him a picture I had crafted with my new Psyker Powers.

It was a Pinup of Slaanesh framed in an eight-pointed star, in one of the most scandalous pieces of clothing in Equestria… thigh-high socks.

…

“I’m interested.”

{Back to the Khornefield}

“Pfft.”

“Did you teach her that? You filthy memer!” I accuse the Mech God.

“I have no shame, that was funny.”

“Mmm~, I love how she’s captured my likeness, I might gift her if she’s willing to make copies…” Slaanesh predictably proceeds to admire her artistic rendition through the scrying before Nurgle cut the link so as to not overwhelm Shaker’s brain… much to our sister’s disappointment.

“Well, I think it’s nice that she’s sharing the good word with her friends, our little pony Horus… will her pals choose to worship a single god, or will they follow in her footsteps?”

“Excellent point Nurgle! Quite the worrying prospect, but I’m sure we’ll handle it together.” Tzeentch said confidently.

“Quite! Brothers - and Sister - in arms! Always together! Always united!” I cheer.

“To Chaos Undivided!”

{Discord, Third Person, the Chaos Realm}

The scene began with a tear out of the Immaterium, into the pocket-dimension delicately nestled atop the Material plane, a realm separate from the Warp itself that Discord had exited into, his normally mischievous expression gone in favour of an almost feral and panicked visage.

“What the fuck… what the fuck! I… by the Anathema, I thought I cut this place off from the galaxy back during the Great Crusade!” he said before pulling out a war-room table like it was a picnic blanket. “You think you can get the drop on me and take over my world?! No way, no how! I’m going to save this planet or my name isn’t Discord!”

He then slammed down a miniature of himself onto the map as his appearance became adorned with an interesting military garb.

“And there’s nothing my ‘brothers’ can do about it!”

Author's Note

edit: fixed the link!