Chapters

The Mare and the Mirror
Lost Souls
Requiem of a Dream
Small Moments Like These
Hiraeth of a Mare
Finding Home?
Lost

The Mare and the Mirror
View Online

Harmonic Cognition

The Mare and the Mirror

One...
Two...
Three...
Four…

Octavia began to hum a soft melody as she plucked at imaginary strings in a stress-filled mental symphony. As she systematically moved about the living room, grabbing all the necessary items for today's rehearsal, the importance of this event consumed her. Octavia Melody was not one to have been unstrung so effortlessly by a simple performance; however, she was about to perform for the living legend and newest Alicorn, Twilight Sparkle.

"This needs to be perfect," she whispered, frantically searching for that missing sheet of music.

Octavia rifled through the items on the desk before something faint tapped her forehead. Levitating in a blue aura was the page she was searching for.

"Vinyl, you know you don't have to watch me pack," Octavia snapped, snatching the parchment out of the magical field; she was not in the mood for any of the DJ's games.

"Why not?" Vinyl mused, enthralled by her partner dancing around the room. "It's cute watching you all flustered."

Octavia rolled her eyes as she continued to stack the sheet music. As she was about to slide the papers into the side sleeve on her case, an errant crystal from Vinyl's collection caught her attention. Subtly, she took it in her hoof and flicked it in Vinyl's direction catching the ogling mare by surprise.

"Hey! You could've cracked that." Vinyl took the crystal in her magic, giving it a once over.

"If you would simply pick up after yourself, we wouldn't have these issues," Octavia scolded, trotting over to Vinyl, who was still sitting on the couch.

"Honestly, I still cannot fathom how your compositions are so complicated, but your workspace is a hazard in and of itself," Octavia complained while pointing a hoof at the travesty behind her.

"Hey, you said it yourself; I'm complicated," Vinyl scoffed while crossing her hooves behind her head. The remark earned a withering glare from Octavia. Seeing that her joke wasn't playing well, Vinyl relented. "Okay, I'll do a better job of cleaning up."

"You know we have to leave in a couple of days." Octavia heaved a sigh and scanned their home's sorry state. "And by the looks of this room, you have done absolutely zero packing!"

"Tavi."

"You know how important punctuality is to Princess Celestia, and if I'm late on my first day."

"Tavi!"

"To top it all off, the concert is the night before we leave, which means I have to rely on you to do the majority of the packing."

"Octavia!"

"What?" Octavia shouted, looking as if she was ready to buck somepony with all of her strength.

"Come here," the DJ said softly and patted a spot on the couch next to her. "Take a break."

"Vinyl, I don't have time for this. I swear on Celestia, if I didn't have this obligation with Princess Twilight, I would make you clean..."

"Tavi, please."

Hearing her marefriend's sincerity, Octavia sighed in frustration. She made her way over to the couch and plopped down.

"What's wrong because you're not usually wound up this tight?" Vinyl placed a hoof on Octavia's shoulder and eyed her over the rim of her sunglasses.

"I don't know." Octavia looked down as her mane fell in front of her eyes. "I guess I'm nervous about why Princess Twilight chose me."

"Nervous? The magnificent Octavia Melody does not get nervous," Vinyl joked with a flare of her hoof.

"Don't you have some music to produce for your next event?" She bit back, narrowing her eyes as a warning for Vinyl to tread lightly.

"I'm working on that," she answered, placing a hoof on her leg. "But why are you nervous? You've played for Princess Celestia countless times and even played for Princess Luna after her return." Vinyl leaned in close, locking eyes with her. "You have nothing to be nervous about."

"Yes, but this is Princess Twilight Sparkle!" Octavia turned away, pressing her hooves into her temples. "This is the mare who defeated Nightmare Moon and returned Princess Luna to us. Don't forget she also saved Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's wedding from the changeling queen." She began to feel her stomach tighten. "And if that wasn't enough, she went and saved the whole Crystal Empire after defeating King Sombra!"

Octavia dropped her head into her forehooves.

"If I fail to live up to Princess Twilight's expectations, it could jeopardize my position at Celestia's performing arts school."

A new wave of panic flooded her mind. The potential to move back to Canterlot with a prestigious job hung in the balance of one single showcase. Bile began to form in the back of her throat as she stared blankly at the floor.

"Hey! You'll be great," Vinyl soothed, wrapping a forehoof around the gray mare. "Tartarus, you've always been great!"

"What happens if I'm not?" Octavia shot back as trepidation consumed her. "What happens if my music is too dated for Princess Twilight and her friends? What happens if I botch the performance and Twilight tells Celestia?"

Octavia grabbed the DJ's face, pulling it close to her. "What happens if Princess Celestia revokes my position?"

"Stop it! You're way overthinking this, Tavi," Vinyl commanded, placing her hooves on Octavia's cheeks. "You are one of the best musicians I know, and Princess Twilight wouldn't have asked you to perform at this high-brow event if she didn't believe that."

Octavia pulled her head away. "But..."

"Octavia," Vinyl cut her off. "Remember when you had to do that showcase for school, and a week prior, you learned that Princess Celestia would be attending?"

"You practiced so much that week you started to overthink it, causing you to mess up more and more."

As the memory returned, a new wave of panic coursed through her. "Not helping, Vinyl!"

"What did I tell you to do?"

"How's that going to..."

"What did I tell you to do?" Vinyl repeated sternly, cutting her off.

"You told me to relax."

"Why did I tell you that?"

Octavia let out a sigh. "Because music comes from your soul not your head."

"And if you're stressed out, ponies won't get to see how beautiful your music is." Vinyl placed a hoof on her cheek, turning her head towards her. "They won't get to see the brilliant and talented Octavia Melody, the one I get to see every day."

Octavia smiled warmly at her marefriend, touching her nose to the DJs.

Vinyl let out a heavy sigh. "Ugh, are you going to make me say it?"

"Maybe?" Octavia gave her marefriend a faint, cheeky smile. "But I think the DJ Pon-3 motivational speech will be sufficient," wrapping her in a firm embrace.

"Thank Celestia! You're going to kill it, Tavi. And after that, you will be the only mare in Equestria to have played a gig for every princess!"

"You think so?"

"Totally," Vinyl proclaimed.

"And what will become of the illustrious DJ-Pon3 if I'm whisked away by Canterlot's elite to perform at every social function?" Octavia ran a hoof through her mane to mimic one of those pretentious Canterlot elites.

"You don't need to worry about me. For how uptight those nobles are, you know Canterlot has one of the best nighttime scenes." Vinyl leaned in close. "I've even heard of Princess Luna being spotted down there enjoying the nightlife," Vinyl remarked.

Octavia's eyes went wide with amazement.

"See." Vinyl leaned back, crossing her hooves behind her head. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Sorry, it's my job to worry," Octavia reminded her marefriend before kissing her on the cheek.

Vinyl rolled her eyes as Octavia giggled at the blushing mare before something caught her attention.

"Oh, Celestia, is that the time already?" She shouted, spotting the clock on the wall.

"Looks like you have plenty of time," Vinyl said cooly, glancing over at the clock and shrugging.

"Early is on time, and on time is late! Don't you remember anything from university?" Octavia jumped off the couch and started snatching up her remaining sheet music on the off chance that Princess Twilight wanted something different.

Vinyl watched as the whirlwind of chaos tore through the living room. Getting the sense that she was making things worse for herself, Vinyl's horn came to life as her blue magic caught the papers escaping Octavia's grip. The DJ wrapped the instrument in her magic and brought all the items together in front of her.

Octavia feverishly whipped her head around. "Where's my case?"

"Right here."

Ripping the case out of Vinyl's magical field, Octavia retrieved the remaining papers and secured them in the case. After checking all the locks and compartments were sealed, she swung the cumbersome item onto her back. Rushing over to the mirror, she corrected her tousled mane and adjusted her bow. She gave her marefriend a quick kiss on the cheek as she galloped by before bursting through the door.

"Tavi!"

Octavia stopped in her tracks as panic flashed to life. What did she forget? She was sure she had grabbed everything she needed. Sprinting back, she noticed Vinyl locking the front door.

"What are you doing?" Octavia frantically trotted in place, ready to rush off as soon as possible. She hoped that whatever Vinyl needed would not take up an unnecessary amount of time.

"I'm coming with you."

"I am not a foal, I do not need to be escorted!" She exclaimed, stomping the ground with her hoof.

"I know, I was hoping that I could walk with you so you wouldn't be so stressed when you got there."

"Oh," Octavia mumbled, feeling sheepish at the sweet gesture.

"Come on! Early is on time, and on time is late, ya know," Vinyl reminded the proper performer, giving Octavia a wink before obscuring her magenta eyes with her iconic glasses.

"You're the best."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to walk you all the way up to the castle," Vinyl assured, nudging the nervous cellist. "Pinkie Pie asked me to stop by because she had some music recommendations. Knowing that crazy mare, it could be anything."

"Oh yes, I have had my fair share of experiences with Pinkie Pie," she remarked, walking closer to her marefriend. The cellist shuddered as she recalled the terrible events of the Grand Galloping Gala. The Pony Pokey was not a formal ballroom piece, no matter how much the crazy party pony claimed otherwise. "Let's just say I would like to keep our interactions to a minimum."

"That will be easy enough when we're back in Canterlot," Vinyl pointed out as the pair continued to walk down the cobblestone path, enjoying the sweet morning air.

Waving goodbye to Vinyl as her marefriend made her way towards Sugarcube Corner, Octavia continued toward the crystal palace as a bead of sweat trickled down her forehead. Quickly wiping it away with her hoof, she slowed her pace, hoping it would be enough to maintain her professional appearance. In a rather unfortunate miscalculation, it was soon apparent that she'd forgotten how far away the castle was from her current accommodations on the edge of town. The cellist brushed the heavy moisture collecting on her brow, feeling the sun becoming more oppressive as the case made her feel like she was in a sauna.

"Why today of all days would it be this unbearably hot and humid?" She groaned.

Finally, reaching the base of the sapphire structure, Octavia dove into the long shadows that the castle created. Taking a moment to enjoy the welcoming breeze, she made a couple of last-minute adjustments before approaching the door. However, as her eyes drifted upwards, Octavia's chest tightened as the beautiful castle towered over her, as if to stand in judgment of her meager music.

Ice ran through her veins as she reached out reverently, knocking on the solid wooden door. The echo reverberated through the hollow interior, bellowing with ill omen. An unnatural chill down shot through her spine. Thoughts of what lay in the warrior princess' castle crept into her mind, and she started to tremble.

A moment later, the golden door shimmered with magic causing her to jump back in fear of being smashed by its heavy wood. Octavia did her best to steel herself as a purple horn resplendent with magic peaked through the crack as it ground open.

"Princess Twilight?" Octavia called out hesitantly, but the sight of a lilac-colored mare surprised her. Her purple and teal mane stuck out in ways Vinyl hadn't even considered.

"Octavia? What are you doing here?" The mare mumbled groggily, looking past her to the case on her back. "Are you selling something?"

"No!" The performer fired back at the insult of being considered some common salespony.

Octavia let out a long breath, collecting herself from the ignorant statement. "I am here to examine the venue. I need to get an idea of what the acoustics are to best orientate the performers so the audience will have the best experience."

"Examine the venue?" The unicorn questioned as a white mug appeared out of thin air.

Octavia stared at the mare in annoyance as she drank from the mug nonchalantly.

As she took another sip of its contents, her eyes shot open. "Oh, the benefit! Sweet Celestia, you're here early."

"Yes, my timely arrival was supposed to serve dual purposes; however, it seems I was unable to avoid the heat this morning," Octavia stated frustratedly, hoping that this conversation would end soon before heat stroke set in.

"Oh, come on inside." Teleporting the mug away and opening the door, allowing Octavia to pass through.

"Thank you." Octavia nodded to maintain decorum despite the morning's efforts to test her patience.

Octavia could feel the rush of cool air as she passed the doormare and entered the grand hall. She was relieved to be away from the oppressive sun; however, that was the least of her concerns now. Her coat and mane had taken the brunt of the disaster from the impromptu workout.

A torrent of emotions roiled inside her as everything this morning had gone awry. "Vinyl, if I didn't love you so much..."

"Here, let me help you with that."

Octavia could feel a cool tingling sensation encapsulate her body as she felt her hooves slowly rise off the ground. Before she had a chance to react, a strong gust swept over her removing all the sweat and salt that had collected on her coat, leaving her feeling as if she had just taken a shower. Her heart was still beating out of her chest when she felt her hooves reconnect with the palace tile.

"Hope that helped. My name is Starlight Glimmer; I don't recall if I told you that or not?" The unicorn chimed as she tapped a forehoof on her chin.

Octavia was stunned to see her coat, mane, and tail looked like they had been to a beauty salon. "Thank you, and it's a pleasure to meet you."

"No problem." Starlight smiled brightly. "Twilight's up in the library."

Octavia cocked her head, not sure if she heard the mare right.

Starlight trotted past Octavia, closing the door behind them with her magic. "She's been locked away doing research for Celestia knows how long."

"The library?" Octavia clarified, scrunching up her nose.

"Yes." Starlight spun her foreleg around and made weird gestures as if she were beginning a lecture. "According to Sabine, the over-the-top explanation of how sound does funny things in a space that no common pony would ever have a chance of understanding."

"What are you doing?" Octavia asked, looking quizzically at the strange unicorn, not wanting to entertain some of the misinformation in that statement.

"You know, Twilight?" Starlight turned with her brow furrowed, repeating some of the movements. "The mare that loves to lecture ponies about anything she finds fascinating?"

Octavia's brow creased as she shook her head in confusion at the awkward display.

"Just follow me," Starlight conceded, letting out a frustrated sigh.

As the pair made their way through the winding interior of the castle, Octavia couldn't help but marvel at the sheer beauty of the architecture. The supporting structures grew like old oaks with a thick solid foundation leading to a sprawling network of crystals like the leaves of a tree.

"Who built this?" Octavia wondered, unable to fathom how many years it would take anypony to build this.

Starlight shrugged. "Twilight told me it grew out of the ground where the old library used to be."

Octavia vaguely recalled hearing about the destruction of the old library and how this castle had just appeared overnight.

"Why do I get the feeling that this castle is bigger on the inside?" Octavia gawked, taking in the lofty ceilings that made her feel like a small filly.

"Yeah, a lot of ponies say that, but you get used to it after a while," Starlight replied with a slight chuckle.

Octavia began to wonder how many ponies had been here before her or if she was the first pony outside of the Princess's friend group granted entry.

"And we're here," Starlight declared, motioning to a door with her hoof.

"Where is 'here,' exactly?" Octavia questioned, seeing as this door didn't seem different from the multitude of doors they'd passed earlier.

"This is the..." Starlight trailed off as her ears perked up.

Starlight groaned as Octavia began to hear the clicking of hooves.

"What?" Octavia whispered as her ears went flat.

"It's too early for this," Starlight complained.

Octavia was going to ask what she meant before spotting a light blue mare with a soft gray mane donning a purple wizard's hat and matching cape marching down the hallway.

"Trixie?" She was perplexed how Trixie, of all mares, could walk freely inside Twilight's castle, given their checkered past.

"The great and powerful Trixie requests the presence of her faithful friend in the kitchen," the magician demanded while passing the pair, completely ignoring Octavia.

"Right now?" Starlight asked in annoyance, pointing a hoof at the cellist. "Can't you see I'm with somepony at the moment?"

The showmare either didn't hear the question or felt whatever she had going on was more important as she continued to strut confidently down the hallway.

Starlight rolled her eyes as she let out an irritated noise. "Sorry about this, Octavia; Twilight expects me to keep an eye on Trixie while she's in the castle."

"No worries; thank you for escorting me this far," Octavia thanked and gave a slight bow in return. She had met the showpony a few times before and knew that trouble always seemed to follow her.

As Starlight took off down the hall, Octavia stood alone in front of the solid wooden door. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. In response, the sound of something crashing echoed from the other side. Octavia's ears folded down as she took a few quick steps back. Her heart hammered in her chest, fearing that she had startled the princess.

After a few stress-inducing moments, the door glowed with a purple aura. Whipping it open, an Alicorn with labored breaths poked her head out as she swept the area.

"Oh, Octavia!" Twilight gasped, spotting the terrified mare on the other side of the hall.

"My sincerest apologies Princess Twilight!" Octavia bowed so deeply that her forehead nearly bonked the floor.

"It's okay; I just wasn't expecting you so early," Twilight said calmly, opening the door wider. "Since you are here, please come inside."

"Thank you." The nervous performer rose to her hooves and hesitantly entered the library.

Twilight came alongside her with an enthusiastic smile. "No, I should be the one thanking you for doing this for me on such short notice."

"It's nothing, really, Princess Twilight." Octavia felt uneasy with how close the princess was to her.

"Please call me Twilight," the princess eased, giving her a warm smile. "We're all friends here."

"Okay, Princess—I mean Twilight." Octavia corrected herself.

"I apologize for the mess." Twilight picked up the cascade of books in her magic, restacking them on the table. "I've been researching the best possible location to host the Everfree Humane Society's benefit all week."

"That is very admirable of you." Octavia watched as Twilight effortlessly stacked the books beyond what she could feasibly reach. "But if I may be so bold, why did you ask me to perform tonight when you have DJ Pon-3 and the Ponytones?"

"Well, I did consider them before offering you the position," Twilight said bluntly.

Octavia's ears folded back as her heart sank into her stomach. She wasn't even the Princess's first choice; this was off to a great start.

Twilight turned, flashing a warm smile. "But, this will be significantly different from the previous one Fluttershy has hosted."

Octavia cocked her head. "How so?"

"Since her last one didn't do so well, I couldn't resist trying to help out more when I learned that she was trying to build a sanctuary for her animal friends."

"I can imagine sanctuaries cost a fair amount of bits."

"They do, and that is why I felt like now would be a better time than any to leverage my influence as a new princess to draw out the philanthropic tendency of Canterlots elite." Twilight gave Octavia a knowing wink.

"How did you manage to do that since most nobles, or at least the ones I've had the displeasure of dealing with, have their head so far up their flank that they would never venture far from Canterlot."

"That may be true." Twilight agreed with a soft chuckle. "However, I sent them an offer that would be hard to dismiss."

Octavia cocked an eyebrow as her ears perked up. "What would that be?"

"I asked them to come to the new castle here in Ponyville with the opportunity to have some one-on-one time with the latest princess," Twilight answered, flaring out her newly minted wings. "I know somepony would chomp at the bit to have my blessing in whatever venture they want to pursue, and I hope to use that to get more donations for the sanctuary."

Octavia tapped a hoof on her chin as her eyes narrowed. "Very clever."

"Next was trying to find a musician that would be able to satisfy the nobility's refined taste. Then I remembered that you recently moved to Ponyville, so I just had to ask for your services."

"Really?" Octavia replied as pride began to swell in her chest.

"Yes, Princess Celestia always spoke highly of your musical talents."

"I didn't know they held me in any particular regard." Octavia felt her cheeks becoming flush.

"Oh yes," Twilight affirmed, sitting down on a stack of books. "During my last visit to Canterlot, Princess Celestia formally invited me to attend a concert with her."

"Have you attended concerts with Princess Celestia?" Octavia wondered.

Twilight shook her head. "The Princess had never done something like that before, even when I was still attending her school."

"Do you remember what concert it was?"

"Yes," Twilight answered with a smile. "The Annual Winter Solstice concert hosted by the Royal Orchestra."

Octavia's mind clicked as the memories of the concert flooded her mind. "That was Princess Luna's first concert after her return if I recall correctly."

Twilight nodded. "You could say I was shocked to see her there."

"Why? I thought Princess Luna had returned sometime before that."

"Yes, but she was still getting reacquainted with modern Equestria, so her appearances were seldom at best." Twilight concealed her blush with a hoof. "So when I learned it was Princess Luna who had requested me to be there, I was speechless."

Octavia's eyes went wide with surprise.

"Why would she ask you," Octavia blurted out, causing Twilight to look at her questioningly. "My apologies, Princess."

"No offense taken." Twilight waved a dismissive hoof. "I wondered the same thing myself when she told me."

"Did Princess Luna tell you why she invited you?" Octavia asked with more reservations.

"Actually, it was Princess Celestia who told me," Twilight clarified. "She told me her sister was beaming when Luna returned to the castle after going to Ponyville for Nightmare Night. Princess Celestia couldn't remember the last time she had seen her sister so happy."

"Really?" Octavia tried to picture the Lunar Princess acting in such a manner.

"Then Princess Celestia wrapped me in her wings and thanked me for being unbelievably kind to her sister..." Twilight trailed off, lost in a beautiful memory. "And that she was blessed to have such a faithful student."

"Wow," Octavia muttered. "And that was before you became an Alicorn?"

Twilight nodded, glancing at her wings. "It was still nerve-wracking to sit with them."

Octavia was stunned for a moment at the Alicorn's confession.

"Why were you nervous?" Octavia asked after collecting herself. "Were you not Princess Celestia's personal student?"

"I was, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be nervous around them," Twilight pointed out with a giggle.

"True," she admitted, shrinking back slightly.

"What made matters worse was when I had to sit between them," Twilight chuckled nervously, pulling at her mane. "Even though I was a full-grown mare, I still felt like a filly sitting next to them."

Octavia recalled the towering presence when she first met Princess Celestia. "Were you able to enjoy the concert?"

"At first, no," Twilight admitted sheepishly. "I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there rigid as a board until the concert started. But, when the music started, I noticed the princess's relaxing and even engaging in playful conversations between songs."

Twilight glanced up, tapping a hoof on her chin. "I can't recall when but by the concert's end, we were all laughing and having a great time together."

"That's good to hear," Octavia said softly, her head falling as the thought of the music not being the center of their enjoyment ate at her.

"But there was one piece that caught my attention."

Octavia's ears perked up. "Which one was that?"

"It was the last song..." Twilight trailed off as she closed her eyes and tapped her hoof on her head. "Never something..."

"Never give up on your dreams!" Octavia cut in.

"Yes!" Twilight's eyes shot open, pointing a hoof in her direction. "Princess Luna absolutely loved that song. She swayed along with the music as her ethereal mane shone brightly like the stars in the sky."

Octavia's smile broadened. "That was a modern selection that almost didn't make the cut. We tried to balance modern songs with ones Princess Luna would recognize."

"The concert was perfect; you all really outdid yourselves," Twilight congratulated, giving a slight bow.

"Thank you," Octavia thanked as she bowed quickly, almost hitting her head again.

"You don't need to do that," Twilight said, standing to lift the humble performer to her hooves. "I'm still not used to decorum being directed at me," she admitted with a weak chuckle.

"Sorry," she apologized. "May I ask why you liked that particular song so much?"

Twilight cantered in place like an excited filly. "It was so magical! So many elements combined to give you a rush of energy, like reading an exhilarating book or finding a long-lost page of one of Starswirl's research papers."

Octavia placed a hoof on her chin. She had played the song countless times in preparation for the concert, but it was always fun to get somepony else's perspective on things.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Twilight leaned in close. "I think Princess Luna enjoyed it more."

The cellist swelled with pride. "I never knew that."

Octavia did remember looking up at the moon and feeling like it was somehow brighter that night.

Twilight placed a hoof on her shoulder. "So, it would suffice to say; I wanted you for this. The wonderful Octavia Melody was the obvious choice."

"Thank you," she choked out, hiding her blushing cheeks.

"After you accepted the position, the next challenge was to find a place inside the castle that would be able to support the party while providing the best acoustics." Twilight's horn illuminated as a book floated down to the table in front of them. "With that in mind, I studied and researched concert music theory over the past week."

"What?" Octavia blurted out, unable to fathom how Twilight could comprehend the complexities of musical performances in a week when it took her years of study at Canterlots prestigious music school.

"Not everything," Twilight admitted with a slight eye roll, tapping on the book with her hoof. "Just enough to lead me to Sabine Hymn, Canterlot's top acoustician and concert hall designer."

"Yes, I know of Sabine Hymn. My musical theory professor talked about her in his class." Octavia spun the book closer to her. "Acoustical Principles and Theories, volume four; I remember having to do papers on this for class."

"Sabine said that the reverberation time is essential to a successful concert hall design. It greatly impacts the resonances of the sound since reverberation time relates to sound persisting audibly after terminal..."

"I know," Octavia said in annoyance, cutting the princess off. "The reverberance creates the feeling of warmth, intimacy, and clarity of the sound our instruments or voices produce."

Twilight looked up at her as Octavia's cheeks burned with embarrassment at her sarcastic comment. "My apologies Princess Twilight."

"No worries. I get carried away explaining things sometimes." Twilight gave an understanding smile. "Have you read about Sabine's theoretical concert hall design?"

"No," Octavia answered as Twilight closed the book.

"Sabine designed a theoretical circular concert hall that was 45 feet tall and housed a plethora of irregularities on the walls, which he described to create a more intimate experience for the audience, and a better experience for the musicians."

Twilight stepped away from the table, pointing a hoof upwards, causing Octavia to shift her attention to the ceiling.

"The library's ceiling is exactly forty five feet above us, just like the design that Sabine wrote down, with some exceptions," Twilight boasted.

Octavia returned her attention to the cantering Princess. "However, there are a multitude of factors that go into the construction of a concert hall, from the overall design to the material used and where the audience will be placed, just to name a few," Octavia pointed out.

"Aha! Sabine even went as far as to cover the acoustical properties and how it interacts with different surfaces." Twilight countered as if she was expecting that retort.

Octavia held her tongue.

"The sound reflects off the crystal walls and arrives back at us after three-tenths of a second is a portion of the sound that contributes strongly to the reverberations that you hear," Twilight lectured, not hiding the look of smug satisfaction.

Octavia rolled her eyes. Not bad for a princess.

"Here, let me demonstrate."

As she turned, Twilight lifted a hoof slightly and clicked it on the polished floor, creating a sound that felt like it was bouncing around the library, leaving Octavia perplexed.

Before Octavia could reply, Twilight spread her wings and shot up to the library's top. As she hovered near the ceiling, her horn flashed to life as a bright, colorful light painted the room in various oranges, yellows, reds, and blues.

"Sabine created this spell that allowed her to see the spots in the hall that he was designing and how the sound was interacting with the surfaces and materials used as a sort of audio heat map," Twilight explained, gliding towards the ground.

"Yellow is where the sound reverberates the most, yielding little decay, orange is a mix between decay and reverberance, and blue is where the sound dies. As you can see, there are minimal amounts of blue anywhere in here." Twilight motioned around the room.

Octavia took a moment to study the library and admit that the Princess had done well in her research; however, as she continued to scrutinize the spell, a faint smile formed on her lips as she spotted little discrepancies.

"Well done, Princess Twilight." Octavia gave the princess a slow applause. "However, I have noticed that the spell you cast was not entirely accurate."

"Pfft." Twilight scoffed at the accusation. "I followed Sabine's instructions to the letter, and I have spent countless hours to validate that I have replicated the spell exactly as she would have."

"That may be true," Octavia agreed, taking a couple of steps around Twilight. "Then would you explain to me why that contraption in the corner is showing blue?"

"What are you talking about?" The Alicorn traced the direction that Octavia was pointing.

Off in one of the coves in the library was something that looked like a complex science experiment to Octavia. It was a mixture of wood and metal with various black and purple tubes connecting multiple devices. At the center was a silver mirror fixed upon a metal platform.

"That mirror over there is showing blue, which is indicative of sound being trapped. However we both know that should not be the case."

"How..." Before Twilight could finish, a tremor rippled through the castle, causing the pair to freeze.

"What was that?" Octavia asked tepidly, steadying herself.

Twilight shrugged her shoulders as an even stronger tremor hit, causing them to sink to the floor. As the shaking subsided, they waited a moment before returning to their full height.

"I don't know," Twilight admitted.

Before Octavia could say anything, Spike, Twilight's assistant, burst through the doors into the library. The tiny purple and green dragon was covered head to claw in cake batter.

"Twilight, Twilight!"

"What happened, Spike?"

"Trixie was..."

Before Spike could explain, the showmare burst into the room covered in the same batter. "The great and powerful Trixie is not responsible for this catastrophe!"

"But, you're the one that ignored Starlight and added that mystery bottle in the cabinet!" The young drake pointed an accusatory claw in Trixie's direction.

"You told me to help, so I helped!" The showmare turned her nose upwards. "Trixie is not sorry for trying to spice up breakfast."

"Spice it up? You created a pony-eating breakfast monster down there!"

"Hold on, you two." Twilight stomped her hoof to get their attention. "Where's Starlight?"

"The kitchen," they both echoed.

"Trixie created a pony-eating monster somehow, and you two just left her alone with it?" Twilight flared out her wings, scolding both of them.

"I came here to get you, Twilight!" Spike defended, flaring out his arms in protest. "I don't know why Trixie's here."

Trixie was about to say something, but Twilight cut her off. "Enough, we need to head to the kitchen now!"

Twilight and Spike took off for the library's entrance while Trixie sat there looking at one of her forehooves.

"You're coming to Miss Great and Powerful." The Alicorn's horn came to life as the purple aura surrounded Trixie's flank and dragged the troublesome performer out of the library with them.

As the doors slammed shut, an eerie silence echoed through the library as Octavia stood alone. She was still reeling from the chaotic chain of events since her arrival and secretly wished this would not be a common occurrence. Then she remembered that Vinyl was at Sugacube Corner with Pinkie Pie.

"I can't wait to see if Vinyl's day turns out to be as exciting as mine," she mused.

A few seconds passed before she realized that she still had her cello case on her back. Feeling dumb for not taking it off earlier, she swung it off and propped it up against the central table.

After a good stretch, she took a moment to look around the library, watching as the color from Twilight's spell dissipated. Her mind was still processing Twilight's lecture being interrupted by a monster in the kitchen. However, something stood out to her more than the wealth of information that had just been dumped on her.

When she spoke with Celestia for a moment before the performance, she gave off an air of superiority and regalness that clearly defined boundaries to approach and engage with her. However, with Twilight, she felt the polar opposite with how unguarded and welcoming she'd been.

"No. Focus Octavia. You came here to warm up, so let's warm up," Octavia muttered, chastising herself. She was here to perform, not skylark on the nuances of how approachable the princesses were.

She made her way over to her cello's case, not wanting to waste any more time. Popping the locks, she opened the case, revealing her oldest friend. Octavia ran her hoof across the mahogany body that still maintained its rich beauty from the day she first received it. Lifting the cello out of the case, she propped it up next to her body before retrieving her bow. Flipping her mane to the side, she pulled the instrument close, feeling the slight warmth radiating from it. She always loved how safe and secure it made her feel.

"Alright, library, let's see if Twilight's theory holds any merit."

Octavia drew the bow across the strings; they began to sing in a manner she'd never heard before. Her ears twitched erratically as the sound felt distant like someone else was playing her instrument at the same time.

"That is unexpected." Octavia shook her head, justifying what she was hearing as pre-rehearsal jitters.

Returning her bow to the ready position, she drew it across the strings as her ears continued to fidget with how the sound interacted here, causing Octavia to miss notes.

"What in Tartarus…" What was she not getting? Everything Twilight said made theoretical sense, given her studies while still in school, but why could she not hear it? It was as if she was playing along with a recording of herself, but she could not sync with it.

Octavia relied purely on her muscle memory since her ears had failed her. She closed her eyes and let her frustrations drive the bow as the sounds echoed like chaos around the room. But she continued to play harder and harder across the strings trying to drown out the noise and the thoughts of being…

"Wow," she whispered as the chaos around her died.

Octavia's ears held still as the beautiful melody filled the quiet library with life. Closing her eyes, Octavia savored the warmth of the sound around her with each passing of the bow. As she continued to play, her soul lifted as the melody danced around her, despite the faint echo. Looking out of the corner of her eye, Octavia noticed the mirror was responding to the music. Ending the song, she watched as the ripples dissipated, returning the mirror to its polished surface.

"That's weird," she whispered, drawing her bow again to resume playing.

As Octavia continued playing, she noticed the mirror reacting to her music like before, but this time it produced a faint echo.

Octavia studied the mirror. "How is that possible?"

Picking up the cumbersome instrument, she took a couple of steps forward, causing the mirror to ripple. Stopping halfway, she waited to see how the mirror would respond. To her surprise, the mirror reformed to its reflective surface.

"Do you record sound?" She wondered, comparing the overly intricate device to the one Vinyl used for her crystals.

As the cello sang again, the mirror's surface danced along with it; however, the echo had grown significantly, leaving Octavia perplexed.

"How are you doing this?" Slowly inching the cello closer and closer to the mirror.

Octavia stood before the foreign device as she watched the mirror pulse, even though she had stopped playing or moving. Laying her cello and bow on the floor, she returned to the front of the mirror as it let out a more intense ripple than before. A whisper in the back of her mind urged Octavia to move forward as her hooves slowly closed the distance.

She let out a long breath and calmed herself before extending a hoof towards it as a torrent of excitement swirled inside her. Slowly she pressed into the silver mirror, feeling the coldness wrap around her hoof. As she continued to move forward, a new sensation of something pulling her took hold.

And then a thought stirred in her mind, quiet at first but grew with intensity. This was wrong. This was very, very wrong.

"Wait..." she whispered, suddenly terrified as her mind snapped back to reality. "Wait!"

Before she could react, her back hooves started sliding across the metal platform as the silver mirror consumed more and more of her. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as another foreleg entered the silver mirror. Digging in with her hooves, she fought with every ounce of strength that her body could muster.

"Please, no!" Octavia screamed as the silver consumed her chest.

Tying her best to keep her from it, Octavia was powerless to keep her body from being wrenched forward. In an instant, she passed through the silver mirror, and the next thing she knew, myriad swirling colors spun around her like a vortex and assaulted her eyes. Her stomach leaped into her throat as she fell through a kaleidoscope of distorted shapes and colors.

Her cry for help died before it could leave her throat as an intensely bright light blinded her. Then her body contorted, twisted, and stretched, reforming itself in the void of white. She tried to open her mouth to scream as she turned into shapes that she never knew existed, but no words emerged. The light grew bright once more, and she fell through it.

And, almost as fast as it had started, it stopped. Octavia became weightless as if somepony had thrown her through the air before landing and rolling to a stop.

"Oh, my head," Octavia groaned as the throbbing pain prevented her from sitting up. Her whole body felt heavier as her mind struggled to process what had happened.

Opening her eyes, she noticed the short grass lying before her. As her head slowly stopped swimming, she tried to figure out how she made it outside the castle; looking up from the ground, she suddenly realized that she was no longer at the castle or in Ponyville. Her heart began racing as her mind realized she had no clue where she was.

As she continued to study the environment, she noticed strange creatures walking around that she had never seen before. However, the buildings surrounding her still looked like something found in Manehatten, but they had a different feel. It had tall glass buildings, but they were not clustered together like the sprawling metropolis city.

Octavia reached out with her forehoof as an uneasy dread crawled up her spine. The creatures in the surrounding area started to notice her as they looked and pointed in her direction. Quickly she began to back up, trying to return to the castle through whatever way she came until her back hooves hit something solid; seeing what had impeded her progress sent terror ripping through her body.

"What," Octavia sputtered as her mind went blank.

Gone was her pony body, replaced with the body of those strange creatures that walked around her. A crushing tightness formed in her chest as she looked at what used to be her hooves moving around the weird appendages. Patting her body, she noted the strange cloth that covered her, sending her into further despair as every part of her had changed.

"This can't be real."

Scrambling over to the white stone wall she assumed she passed through, she pressed her strange hooves into it, hoping it would send her back. A wave of panic shot through her body as she continued to find solid surface after solid surface. There was no sign of the magic that had sent her here.

Octavia's chest tightened as primal fear gripped her body. Pressing her head into the cold stone as her mind scrambled for answers. She wanted to be back in the palace; she wanted to be back home; she wanted to be in Vinyl's embrace.

"Somepony, please, help me..."

Author's Note

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section.

Here's the song that Octavia mentioned. It is probably one of my favorite songs from Two Steps From Hell and I think it would fit perfectly in this world.
Two Steps From Hell - Never Give Up On Your Dreams - YouTube

Lost Souls
View Online

Harmonic Cognition

Lost Souls

Octavia backed away from the solid marble she had just appeared from, unexpectedly bumping into a trash bin, causing nearby crows to voice their displeasure. The unexpected sound caused her blood to run cold as the creaking of the metal continued to echo through the waning day. The smell from the garbage wafted over her now tiny nose as she shuffled across the dirty, cracked pavement to distance herself from the putrid smell.

It was as familiar as it was alien, seeing the grimy bricks of buildings with doors tall enough for princess Celestia to fit comfortably through without ducking. She watched bipedal creatures meander around their world, transfixed by little boxes of light in their claws. The faint ghostly light casts hard shadows on their expressionless faces, causing her breath to hitch in her throat.

Octavia could hear a soft click followed by a slight buzzing as if something electrical was turning on; as she searched for the source of the sound, a familiar shadow caught her attention. She breathed a sigh of relief as an outline of a pony illuminated the ground. Finally, somepony had come to rescue her from this nightmare. Tracing the shadow back to its source, the mounting hope in her chest died as she failed to find her voice.

Fixed upon a bronze pony was one of those creatures. Secured in their hand were ropes that fastened around the pony's mouth, binding it like a slave. Pain and terror were etched into the statute's face as it fought to rid itself of its capture. Unable to tear her eyes away, she spotted sharp objects protruding from the creature's back legs that dug into the pony's sides.

"No, who could do something so cruel?" Her voice trembled as she brought her forehoof to her mouth while pushing herself away from the horrifying statue.

In her attempt to separate herself from the monstrosity, she collided with something that caused her head to slam into the ground. Blinding pain enveloped her as she fought to hold back the tears pooling in her eyes.

"What the hell!" A muffled voice cried out.

Octavia could not discern the direction of the sound as her head continued to throb. Pressing her forehoof into her temple to ease the pain, the sounds of scraping rocks and the padding of something heading towards her only heightened her alarmed state.

"Are you okay?"

Octavia shot up to her hooves, scurrying away from the sound until she felt the cold stone upon her back. Spotting a looming silhouette, she slid down to make herself as small as possible while throwing up her forelegs to shield herself.

"Go away!" She screamed, coiling her legs for a strike.

Octavia did not know what horrific world she had entered, but she was not going down without a fight.

"It looks like you're bleeding," the male voice pointed out.

"Bleeding?" She whispered to herself, noticing a sharp pain.

Timidly she brought her claw up to her forehead, gingerly touching the area and feeling the thick sticky liquid coating the tips of her claws. Trepidation coursed through her as she brought her claw in front of her eyes, revealing the glimmer of the dark red liquid. Octavia's eyes widened as a drop of blood stained her cheek.

"It's not as bad as it looks," the voice soothed, attempting to stifle her reaction. "Wait here while I go grab you some napkins."

The stranger disappeared behind the abysmal statue as the sounds of shifting rock grew fainter. Silence fell upon the area as Octavia forced herself to release the breath she had been holding.

"I need to get out of here," she whispered.

Her situation only worsened by the minute as blood trickled down her cheek. As she looked around, the fleeting light of the sun had disappeared, revealing an eerie setting rivaling the edges of the Everfree forest. Shifting her gaze skyward, she watched as clouds moved to belittle what light the moon could offer her.

"Here you go."

Upon hearing the voice and feeling their proximity, Octavia reflexively bucked her hindlegs connecting with the potential assailant. She thrust the creature away from her using all her earth pony strength, causing a muffled grunt before her ears caught the sound of them hitting the ground.

"What the hell!" He shouted, throwing his weird appendages out while they sat up from the ground.

"Go away!" She commanded with what little authority her voice could muster.

"I'm just trying to help!" He shot back.

Octavia trembled as the enraged leviathan returned to his full height.

"No, I don't want your help! Please go away," she fired back, trying to mask the fear in her voice.

"Whoa, you're British!"

"British?" She questioned, coiling her hindlegs for another strike if they got too close again.

Turning her head slightly, she peeked through a gap between her legs to gauge their intentions. The unknown creature had moved more into the light revealing a frame of the bipedal beings she had noticed earlier. However, their towering presence easily dwarfed hers, causing her heart to have a death grip on her stomach.

"Right… sorry, not the time," he conceded, rubbing the back of his neck.

The strange creature shuffled about, deciding what to do next. As he moved, Octavia could see more of the creature's face as the light from the park no longer masked them. Their facial structure resembled the minotaurs back home but lacked their bovine ancestry's defining muzzle and large horns. However, the creature's stature was more akin to the male's. Studying him further, she watched as his brown irises darted around as if they were searching for something.

"Oh, right!" The creature's head jutted up, turning her direction. "Here, I got these for you."

Octavia's gaze darted between the napkins and his eyes trying to gauge if he was hiding malicious intentions. Feeling her scrutinizing gaze, he averted his eyes to the ground while holding the napkins out to her. Cautiously, she took them from him, trying to clean off the coagulating blood on her.

"You should press the napkins on that cut to stop the bleeding," he instructed, focusing his eyes on the ground.

"I'm not a foal!" Octavia barked, causing him to wince from the verbal slap.

Octavia lingered for a moment waiting for him to move aggressively in her direction. After a minute, he remained steadfast, averting his eyes from hers.

"Do you need assistance?" He asked hesitantly.

"No," Octavia answered swiftly, pressing the unsoiled portion of the napkin into her open wound.

A soft whimper escaped her lips, causing her eyes to dart to him to see if he since her weakness. His head turned slightly in her direction but remained distant. After the initial pain dulled, she removed the napkins to see some traces of bright red blood alongside the strains of thicker dark blood.

"Oh, good, it doesn't look that bad," he said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Octavia's eyes quickly shifted to see his dark brown eyes staring at her. "How would you know?"

"Because I'm looking right at it," he answered in disbelief. "You probably thought it was worse than that?"

Octavia said nothing.

"It's an honest mistake. It's crazy how even the smallest wound on your head can bleed like that."

Octavia maintained her silence praying that he recognized the cue that she no longer wanted to carry this conversation on.

"Do you need help standing up?" He offered, taking a step towards her while extending his claw.

Octavia's stomach tightened as the being doubled in size, causing her to pull everything tighter to her body. "No, please stay back!"

"Sorry, just trying to help," he calmly stated before throwing up his weird appendages and backing away from her.

"Here," he muttered.

The sounds of shifting rock caught Octavia's attention as the creature sat across from her, lowering his body while hunching to make himself closer to her size.

"Better maybe?" The minotaur forced a smile but faltered after a few moments. "Well, hopefully that helps."

Giving herself more than a fleeting glance, she studied the creature that sat across from her. No longer was he silhouetted by the faint park lights reducing the behemoth's stature to one of an average stallion. He shifted as he looked down at her with a timid smile, allowing the light to highlight more of his features. Upon his head was a short brown mane that would most likely be seen on young colts and fillies. However, the thing that stood out the most was the complete lack of fur that coated the bodies of most of the residents of Equestria. Quickly her gaze shifted to her foreleg, causing her heart to seize as she noticed it bore the exact resemblance to the furless creature before her.

"Interesting," she mused, timidly running the tip of her claw down her foreleg, experiencing an unsettling new sensation.

"I'm Jacen, by the way. Thinking about it I probably should've led with that, huh? Sorry," the stranger called out, trying to garner her attention again.

Octavia said nothing, unable to decide how she should answer.

The thoughts of being subjected to the nightmarish humiliation of being ridden in that manner loomed over her. Given the creature's size, he would need minimal effort to break her. As she continued to ponder the implications, Octavia glanced up to see him shifting about, sensing her uneasiness. She couldn't tell if this creature was something she could trust.

"Not helping? Right. There's a hospital nearby over there a couple blocks. Keep the pressure on it I guess, and I'll keep an eye---no wait, that's worse. I'll see you around, I guess." Jacen conceded as he slowly got up.

Octavia watched as he started to walk away as a torrent of emotions raged. She needed help, and nopony else had approached her. Looking back over her shoulder, the expression of horror solidified on the pony's face churned her stomach. Unable to fight the urge, Octavia searched for the face of the creature. Ice flowed through her veins as her eyes witnessed the sadistic pleasure illustrated on the rider's face.

"No," she whispered; she would not be subjected to that horror even if he was the only creature to offer help.

Shaking the dark thoughts from her head, Octavia refocused on Jacen as he walked away in an upright position. Being on her hind legs was not a foreign concept, but she always had her cello as support.

"I've done this before," she reassured herself.

Placing her claw on the wall, Octavia slowly climbed up onto the weird back legs as her body fought the unnatural change. Despite the feeling, she rose to full height with her back firmly against the wall. Pride swelled in her chest as she let her body adjust to the new position.

"See, nothing to it."

Even though she was upright, she knew it was only half the battle. Looking down at her back legs, they began to shake uncontrollably, realizing what was coming. Apprehensively she extended her back hoof, placing it on the ground. Octavia began to wobble as her mind refused to let go of the wall. Fighting against her better judgment, she shifted her weight forward, causing her balance to go haywire.

"Whoa."

She panicked, spotting Jacen quickly moving in her direction while her body shifted erratically. Flinging her appendages out in a last-ditch effort, Octavia desperately searched for something to stop her before Jacen got too close. Closing her eyes, she prayed for a last-second miracle to make this Jacen disappear.

A panicked shock ran through her body as she felt Jacen's firm grip encapsulate her waist. Hadn't this thing heard of personal space? She would have struck him if he wasn't the only thing stopping her from hitting the ground.

"Thank you, but I do not require your assistance," Octavia stated firmly, hoping that he would let go of her.

"Are you sure? Because head injuries—"

"Yes, I am sure," she cut him off, reinforcing that she did not need his assistance.

"I honestly don't think—"

"Jacen, I will not ask a second time; please let go of me!" She commanded, her tone coming off more harshly than intended.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, hanging his head in shame.

Feeling Jacen's claw leaving her back, her balance began to sway as if she was at sea. Octavia extended her arms to stabilize herself before attempting to lift her back hoof again. As the waver subsided, she felt confident enough to try another step. Her mind began to panic as her back hoof came off the ground, causing her to stagger forward as her weight shifted erratically once again. In a desperate attempt, she tried to move her strange hooves to match the pace of her forward momentum. Still, it ultimately yielded her meeting the ground.

"Why is this so difficult?"

Frustration coursed through her as she returned to her normal body position. She hated being this vulnerable, especially in front of somepony she had just met. If she were back in Canterlot, they would have sensed her weakness from miles away and exploited it to no end.

Adding insult to injury, Octavia still saw him out of the corner of her eye, standing there, staring, fiddling with his digits, trying as he tried not to stare at the weak mare in front of him. Why wouldn't he leave to let her flail miserably on her legs? Was he waiting to make fun of her? To mock and jeer at the bumbling "Brit" that couldn't do anything, right? She felt her claws clenching in frustration at her ineptitude. If her body knew how to express itself, surely it could manage to walk properly!

As her heart sank into her stomach in anticipation, something occurred that even she did not expect, silence. Octavia glanced over to see him still standing next to her. Why was he not mocking her? She would have snickered momentarily at the situation if the shoe was on the other hoof, but he didn't, or at least to her knowledge. Her mouth ran dry as her heart continued to pound in her chest. Her mind continued to flip back and forth before she concluded with the ominous solution.

"I may require your assistance," Octavia reluctantly stated, digging into the dirt between the cracks in the pavement.

"Are you sure? Because you were…"

"I am aware of what I said, and now I'm requesting your assistance, please," cutting him off almost pleadingly. Octavia hoped he would move past this change of heart and not further question her.

"Okay," Jacen warily agreed.

She could hear Jacen rustling about before she felt his claws slip around her waist. As his grip tightened, Octavia forced down the feeling of a predator closing on its prey. Fear paralyzed her as Jacen lifted her rigid body off the ground and into the upright position.

"Are you okay? Should I help you walk to the hospital?" He asked, giving her a look of deep concern.

"No, I just need a moment." Octavia tried to calm her heart from beating out of her chest.

"Take your time," Jacen soothed, removing one of his claws from her waist and placing it on her shoulder to steady her.

Octavia slightly nodded in affirmation as she felt her heart slow. However, she still could not push away the uneasiness from his touch. She was barely even with his shoulders; feeling the heaviness of one of his arms across her back, she could not help but feel like a foal next to him.

"Whenever you're ready, we'll try walking again. Just try putting one foot in front of the other," he instructed, removing his other claw from her waist while illustrating the movement to her.

Octavia took a deep breath and lifted her back hoof off the ground. Her body began to sway aggressively as her hoof continued to move forward. Panic and anger at his betrayal roared to life as Octavia slipped out of his grip. Her arms shot up instantly as she braced for the following fall.

"Whoa," Jacen muttered as his hands gripped her firmly, halting her forward momentum. "Don't worry, I got you," he affirmed, giving her a slight squeeze on her shoulder.

"Why can't I do this?" Octavia fumed through gritted teeth, unable to conceal her frustration.

She could feel the blood rushing to her face at the embarrassment of almost falling again. Her mind refused to move out of fear of subjecting herself to further awkwardness. Why was he being so patient with her? He could easily fling her over his shoulder and carry her wherever he wanted without breaking a sweat.

"It's okay," he reassured, breaking her thought with a gentle shake.

Feeling his hand urging her to move again, she cautiously extended her back hoof, feeling the unsettling sensation again. Before she could react, Jacen's grip became tighter as her hip pressed up against his. Feeling her stability returning, Octavia placed her back hoof down before repeating the process with the other.

"See, you got this," Jacen praised, watching her confidently take another step.

Octavia couldn't help but gush over the compliment.

She could feel herself becoming more steady thanks to Jacen's efforts. As he led her towards a paved path, she could feel his grip beginning to relax. Despite the slight misstep here and there, Octavia felt like she was starting to get the hang of it.

"I think I forgot to ask you… your name," Jacen awkwardly stated as they walked alongside the waterfront.

She silently chastised herself for forgetting her manners in her anger.

"Octavia," she answered with a meek voice.

"That's a nice name. Well, Octavia, it's nice to meet you." He glanced down with a reassuring smile.

Octavia could feel her face flush as she tried to suppress a self-satisfied smile.

"I still feel that you should go see a doctor because you might've hit your head harder than you think," he stated, looking down at her with growing concern.

"No, I'm good," Octavia replied, taking one of her claws and grazing the crusted blood that naturally sealed the wound. "I appreciate your concern. I was just traveling all day, and I am still recovering from that, plus this,"

"I'm sorry about that," he apologized before clasping his claws together. "So, where do you need to go?"

Octavia chewed on her lip as she tried to respond appropriately rather than saying, 'I don't know where I am.' The palms of her claws became slick as her mind fumbled to find an answer.

"Like, do you have a place I can drop you off at? Or there's a bus stop nearby," he offered, noticing her eyes shifting as if she were thinking.

"No, it's not that, it's just…" she trailed off, shifting her gaze to the ground.

"It's okay; you don't have to tell me," Jacen assured, slightly nudging her to get her attention. "I just want to help and make sure you're okay."

Octavia could tell that he was saying what he could help build trust, but it was still a massive leap of faith for her.

"Thank you, but…."

She noticed Jacen digging for something in his pocket, retrieving a little black box. Pulling the strange item closer, he squeezed it, causing the black mirror to light up with that creepy white light that Octavia had seen earlier. Instantly she slapped the object out of his hand as they watched it clatter to the ground.

Jacen shot her a dirty look. "What the hell was that for!"

Octavia started to tremble at the thought of being possessed by that egregious device.

"Hey, it's okay," Jacen soothed. "I wanted to make sure I was taking you in the right direction."

Quickly Jacen left her side and retrieved the device, placing it back in his pocket. Octavia couldn't stop herself from shaking, causing a growing look of distress from Jacen.

"Hey, are you okay? Did I do something wrong? What's going on?"

Despite how hard she tried to suppress it, everything was boiling to the surface; she was so scared, wrapping her forelegs around her chest as Jacen rubbed her shoulders. Glancing up, Octavia saw desperation and panic in his eyes. Why the hell was he so scared? He easily was twice her size; she was basically at his mercy.

Jacen held her gently by the shoulders. "Is there something you need me to do?"

Octavia shook her head but try as she might, she couldn't help but meet his eyes. His deep brown eyes fixed upon her, begging her to answer him. She shrank under the uncomfortable gaze. How could this giant look at her the way that Vinyl does? She loved how her eyes always gave away her true feelings in any situation when they were not covered with those damn glasses. Still, this Jacen echoed the same eyes that she did.

"I-… I… don't have a place to stay tonight." Octavia rubbed her claw along her foreleg. "You see, I'm not from here," Octavia stammered, hoping that he didn't have any more follow on questions.

"Oh... that's okay; here, let me think."

Returning to his full height, Octavia watched him mull over ideas in his head. Jacen scanned the horizon as he muttered something under his breath.

"What?" Octavia wondered.

Jacen tapped the tip of his claw on his chin. "There is a cheap hotel close to me, but it's kind of shady."

Octavia chewed on her lip.

"Or, if you want, I can split the tab with you at a better one, so you don't have to stay there," Jacen offered, counting on his digits.

"Umm, Jacen, I don't have any money," she admitted.

"Oh really?" Jacen looked at her with renewed concern. "Did you lose it, or did someone take it from you?"

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that." Octavia waved dismissively. "I just didn't get a chance to grab some."

It was the truth, sort of.

"If that's the case..." he trailed off, returning to his inner dialogue as he contemplated solutions. "I'm not sure I have enough for a hotel until next payday. Let me check my bank account real quick."

Octavia sighed to herself. She would hate this, but she couldn't let a stranger bankrupt themselves on her behalf. "You said you lived close by, right?"

"Umm, yeah. I did." Jacen glanced over as his brow creased. "Is that a problem?"

"If it's not too much of an imposition, perhaps I could stay with you?"

"An imposition? Nah, you're good." Jacen let out a nervous chuckle. "But are you sure? I mean, my place is kind of small."

"Just lead the way before I start second-guessing myself."

As the pair started to walk, Octavia noticed Jacen's lips moving while periodically shaking his head as if he was talking to himself.

"So, where are you from, Octavia?" He asked as they started to head in a different direction.

Octavia knew this question would come up. She wrestled with telling him the truth or fabricating a facade. Still, she knew very little about this place to produce a convincing story. She pondered telling him the truth briefly, but the ominous statue flashed to life in her mind. She would not be the cause of her kinds of enslavement because one of them was nice to her.

"It's complicated," she conceded, letting her shoulders sag. It was the best answer she could come up with on short notice.

"Okay, what about friends? Do you know anyone around here or why you were outside alone?"

"I've had a rough day," Octavia groaned as the hopelessness of her situation returned to the surface.

"I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"I know," Octavia cut in. "Can we talk about some thing else?"

Jacen's brow creased as he looked down at her. "Like what?"

"So, where are you from, Jacen?" She interjected, trying to shift the attention onto him.

"Well, I was born and raised in Texas until I enlisted in the Navy and got stationed up here."

"The navy?" Octavia didn't know what Texas was, but the word navy sounded somewhat familiar. She tried to recall if Canterlot had something similar or if she had heard the term from her history books.

"Yeah, I was one of the dumb ones who joined because my friends enlisted in the Navy before me and told me how much fun they were having. At least I get some sea stories to tell like my grandpa." He gave her a wry smile.

"Sea stories?" Octavia cocked her head. "So you're an ocean-dwelling soldier?"

"Yup! Oh, there was one time we were pulling into port, and I was on the line handling detail," breaking away from her gaze Jacen started to scan the horizon across the waterfront.

"Actually, you can see the ship I'm stationed on over there." He pointed to a distant object resembling a dark grey blur against the night sky. "Can you see the green and red lights?"

Octavia craned her neck around Jacen as she searched for the green and red lights. She spotted the barely visible lights levitating on top of the gray blur a few moments later. Concentrating on the object, two ice cream cone-like structures became more visible. They formed a line on top of what looked like an ordinary ship found in Equestria. However, from what she could tell, it looked like the ship was made entirely of metal.

"How do your ships not sink if they're completely incased in metal?" The question caught Jacen slightly off guard.

"Oh, umm, I think it has to deal with the water displacement of the ship equaling the water tension or something like that. Honestly, I really don't know," he answered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Anyways, back to the story. So, the line handling detail are the people who help pull the ship moored to the pier. Unlike the olden times, we use tugs and machines to assist us with the evolution."

Octavia nodded that she was following along, even though some of the words had lost their meaning with her.

"My buddy and I were the only ones on line five, and at the time, there were only two lines attached to the pier. To make it more fun, the time we were pulling in was early in the morning, which means that the sea was still surging." He made an up-and-down waving motion with his claws.

"Surging?" Octavia questioned.

"Yeah, the sea rises and lowers at certain times of the day because of the moon's gravitational pull on the earth. We were the dumb ones who decided to do it when the water levels rise and retreat quicker than you would like, but don't quote me on that," he replied, pointing at her jokingly. "They take the other line to power, which means they put it around this machine called a wildcat, and it just spins around pulling the slack out of the line." He started making circular motions with the tip of one claw as the other wrapped around it.

"Everything was going good until I heard this loud pop." He opened his claw wide to mimic an explosion. "My buddy and I look at each other as we watch the other line start to separate, causing everyone on deck to step away. The chief boatswain looked over at us and told us, in more colorful language, to not let go of the line."

"We watched as the last piece of line separated, causing us to get ripped forward," Octavia watched as Jacen staggered forward as if he was holding on to the line. "We did our best to not let go of the line as it continued to drag us forward. Eventually, people jumped on the line to help us as we fought to not let go. After a couple of profanity-laced minutes, they were able to secure another line to the pier, and we were able to tie the ship off."

Octavia let out a sigh of relief.

"I look down at my hands to see them just raw from the line going through them," Jacen turned his hands up to show her where it was the worst.

"Wow," Octavia breathed out.

"Yeah, fun times," He flashed a faint smile before it was washed away by something darker.

"That sounded stressful," she observed, reflecting on what she would have done if she had been in that position.

"At the time, it was but looking back on it, I'm grateful that I have stories like these to share."

"You have more?" She glanced up at him with renewed interest.

"Oh yeah! I have a whole bunch of sea stories like this."

"I would like to hear them."

"Really? Well, I enjoy telling them," he said. His face flushed, and he diverted his gaze from hers.

They continued to walk down the pathway as momentary silence fell over them. Octavia noticed his posture had become more relaxed as a slight smile held firm on his lips. She even noticed that she had calmed down, barely acknowledging their proximity. It was the same feeling that Twilight made her feel right before she had left, and she felt fortunate that he was the one to find her.

"Here we are."

The pair stopped before a tall glass building that looked like a hotel, like the ones in Manehatten.

"Just to give you a heads up, it's a one-bedroom apartment. The Navy only pays us so much," Jacen said, softly chuckling.

Before she could respond, he had already pressed on and waited for her at the entrance. He held the door open as she entered the lackluster lobby with six silver doors, beige walls, and bland hotel paintings of landscapes.

"I'll get it," he declared, moving past her to hit one of the buttons next to the silver door. "I live on the 5th floor, so I think you would prefer the elevator unless you enjoy cardio, because I sure don't."

Octavia was the first to enter the small space as the elevator doors slid open. As Jacen followed her in, the elevator dipped slightly under his weight. She could feel herself pressed into the wall as Jacen moved about to give her more room.

"Sorry, they thought small elevators were a good idea for whatever reason. It made moving in a headache and a half."

Octavia could hear the metal groaning under their combined weight as it struggled to lift off the ground, causing her to grip the rail behind them. "Is it supposed to make that noise?"

"It's made that noise since I've lived here."

In hindsight, cardio didn't sound so bad. She could've used the practice.

The elevator doors opened into a wide hallway painted with the same monotone beige paint found in the lobby.

"Welcome to 501, my little corner of Norfolk," Jacen proclaimed, unlocking the door and holding it open for her.

Octavia hesitantly stepped inside the small apartment, immediately noticing the minimalist decor. She noticed that the kitchen and a seating area occupied the same space, moving into the main living area. However, upon further inspection, she saw similarities between some of the furniture she had at her house. At the center of the room was a dark grey couch with a thin black rectangular box on top of a wooden stand.

"It's not much to look at, I know. I mostly just crash here when I'm not out and about," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as she examined his apartment. "We go underway, which basically means we go out on the ship for periods of time. Like, we will be out for two weeks to a month then be back in port for a week or two before heading out again for the same amount of time."

"That doesn't sound very pleasant."

"It has its ups and downs, like most things."

Octavia glanced at him and saw the distraught expression she had seen earlier, but it disappeared when he realized she had noticed.

"Still," he said, clearing his throat. "I got the basics covered."

"It's okay; it's very nice and clean," she remarked, finding comfort in spotting things she recognized.

"Thanks for noticing! But," he paused as he gritted his teeth, looking between her hooves and the floor. "Could you do me a quick favor, though, before you go in?"

"A favor?" She asked, eying him suspiciously.

"Could you take off your shoes, please," he said, clasping his hands together.

"My shoes?"

"Yes. The ones you're wearing. I mean, they're great, don't get me wrong, but you noticed how nice it is in here, and I wanna keep it that way if you don't mind," he repeated as he began taking his shoes off.

"Oh, those shoes! Of course," Octavia laughed as she looked at the black material at the end of her legs. She'd seen the princesses wearing fetlock boots before. These must've been something like that.

"Yeah, so if you would…."

Octavia tittered nervously as she gazed down at the shoes. She'd already made too much of a fool of herself; she didn't want to admit being confused by clothing, of all things! Looking at Jacen's hooves, he had unfortunately already taken his shoes off, so she had no example to copy.

"Octavia?"

"I'm thinking!"

"About what?"

"How to remove them, obviously!"

"Oh..okay? Umm, I can help if you need me to," Jacen offered, motioning for her to sit on the couch.

"Just… just make it quick. I feel like an utter foal!"

Jacen gave her a quizzical look before she rushed over to sit on the couch, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she watched Jacen kneel before her. Taking one of her back hooves in his hand, she could help but feel like a dwarf as her hoof was the size of his hand. Undoing the buckle, he slid the shoe off and followed the same process with the other before taking them back to the front of the apartment.

Octavia took in this new sensation as the cool air touched her exposed hooves. Looking down, she noticed stubbier versions of her digits on her hands through the white stockings. Standing up, she took a few steps feeling the difference of having her shoes off.

"Let me grab the first aid stuff so I can properly clean up that cut for you."

She watched him move into the kitchen and rifle through his cabinets and drawers. After a few moments, he produced a white box with a big red cross on it; flipping it open, he retrieved a small brown bottle, a couple of gauzes, and a small white tube.

Jacen opened the brown bottle and dumped its contents onto the pads before handing it to her. "Use this to clean your cut."

Taking the saturated pad, she couldn't help but notice the powerful chemical odor wafting toward her nose.

"It's okay; it's meant to clean your wound," he informed, noticing her uneasiness.

Cautiously she took the pad and placed it on her forehead, instantly feeling the burning sensation. Octavia couldn't help but shoot him a look of betrayal, eliciting a chuckle from him. Pushing through the pain, she wiped the area until all the pads had stopped turning red.

"Let me put this on, so it closes the cut." Jacen took the small tube in his hand, taking a confident step toward her.

Octavia reflectively took a step back as he approached.

"I promise it won't hurt this time," he eased, holding the tube to her forehead.

Reluctantly she nodded, allowing him to complete the care. She looked up as he positioned himself over her to give himself a better angle and gently squeezed the contents out. Feeling the cold paste touch her skin, Octavia couldn't help but shake as he looked down upon her.

"There, that should help. Just don't touch it as it dries." Jacen capped the tube, returned all the contents to the box, and disposed of the used materials.

"Thank you," she replied, taking a few quick steps back so he wouldn't notice her trembling.

Turning the corner, Octavia came face to face with a white being with dark reflective eyes, causing her to let out a muffled scream as she staggered backward. Jacen bounded over to see what was happening before giving her a soft chuckle.

"It's okay! It's just a costume, see?" He tapped the white being with the back of his hand. "It's made of plastic."

Taking a piece off it, he handed it over to her. She retracted from the part as if he held a coiled snake in his hand, ready to strike. After a moment of trying to convince her that it was not going to harm her, he finally gave up.

"This is a stormtrooper. It's from one of my favorite movies," He retrieved the piece from Octavia and put it back on the mannequin.

"Oh, it's getting late." he said, looking down at something on his wrist.

"I was going to grab you some blankets and a pillow, but seeing how you reacted to that, I think you might want to stay in my room," He motioned toward the looming suit of armor in the corner.

"Lucky for you, I just washed the sheets today.," Jacen stated as he returned, pointing to another room with a bed. "I have to go to work tomorrow, and I don't want to wake you up while I'm getting ready,"

"You don't have to do this for me; I am perfectly capable of sleeping on the couch," she murmured, eyeing the suit that seemed to follow her with its dead eyes.

"It's okay, you will be more comfortable there, and when I come back from work tomorrow, we can figure out what our next step will be."

"Wait, you're just going to leave me here? A complete stranger in your house with all your things?"

"Well, if you wanted to steal something, you picked a bad target. Not much here to take unless you want a sweaty stormtrooper costume."

"Okay, if you insist." She still didn't feel one hundred percent about sleeping in his bed, but at least she would have some privacy.

"Cool, well then, good night Octavia," Jacen gave her a slightly awkward bow before walking away.

"Thank you," she replied as she began closing the bedroom door.

"Oh! If you need anything, feel free to ask. The fridge is a little low, but you can help yourself to whatever's in there."

"Okay," she said, closing the door all the way.

Octavia released a breath she did not know she was holding as the door clicked in place. With an experimental tug, it didn't budge. She was safe. Or at least as safe as she could be in the lair of a massive, unknown creature. A creature she now shared similar features with. She felt utterly exhausted by the day's events collapsing onto the bed. She took stock of herself, catching her darkened reflection in a nearby mirror, not unlike the one she had stumbled through back at the castle.

That wasn't Octavia Melody looking back at her. That was some strange, pale minotaur thing staring back at the wrongness of its form. It bore her carefully styled mane, though it was a tousled mess, but everything else was terribly, terribly wrong.

"What are you?" She whispered, hoping against reality that her reflection wouldn't mouth her question back to her.

She pulled her hind legs closer, burying her face in her newfound flexibility. Feeling wetness running down the side of her flat face, she took what little comfort she could, knowing she could still cry.

"I don't know what to do, Vinyl."

Her head continued to pound from the impact or the emotions she was bottling up. Feeling more tears escape from the corners of her eyes, she quickly whipped them away, hoping that no more would follow. Scooting up to the head of the bed, she slipped under the sheets hoping that she would wake up in her bed and that all of this was just an uncanny, lucid dream.released a breath she did not know she was holding as the door clicked in place. With an experimental tug, it didn't budge. She was safe. Or at least as safe as she could be in the lair of a massive, unknown creature. A creature she now shared similar features with. She felt utterly exhausted by the day's events collapsing onto the bed. She took stock of herself, catching her darkened reflection in a nearby mirror, not unlike the one she had stumbled through back at the castle.

"What are you?" She whispered, hoping against reality that her reflection wouldn't mouth her question back to her.

"I don't know what to do, Vinyl."

Author's Note

I wanted to give a massive shout-out to Rego, GTthe4th, and Falk for taking the time out of your day to read and edit this chapter; it honestly would have been nothing like this without y'alls help. Thank you!

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section.

Requiem of a Dream
View Online

Harmonic Cognition

Requiem of a Dream

As night fell upon Canterlot, Octavia and Vinyl made their way to the entertainment district. The thunder of the bass began to fill the air as more ponies populated the streets, causing her to gravitate towards Vinyl's side. Octavia's stomach started to churn as the prestigious architecture shifted into more sleek and modern designs found in Las Pegasus.

The cacophony of bright lights and bass-riddled music pulsed through the air, and Octavia despised every minute of it. How could ponies stand the blaring racket, putrid smells of drunk, sweaty ponies, and anxiety-inducing crowds? However, seeing how Vinyl would come to life in her element made it worth the flagrant assault on her senses.

As the pair arrived at the venue, all of Octavia's fears came to fruition. The interior was lit purely by colorful strobed lights that could cause a seizure at a moment's notice, not to mention the smoky haze that coated everything. Following Vinyl further into the depths, the deafening music became almost too much to handle as they neared the main stage.

Octavia cursed under her breath as she was jostled like a pinball through the illuminated dance floor. She barely managed to keep close to Vinyl, who was effortlessly gliding through the crowd. Reaching a pocket of space next to the bar, which consumed the entire interior wall, Vinyl turned and mouthed something to her. Before Octavia could ask what she said, Vinyl gave her a peck on the cheek before rushing backstage, leaving her alone.

Uneasiness crept into the back of Octavia's mind as she stood amongst the plethora of partiers, lost in the energy of the music. As she slinked off to one of the unoccupied stools at the bar. The formally dressed fish out of water pressed her hooves to her temples to calm herself.

"This is for Vinyl," she reminded herself, muttering the mantra over and over. Her marefriend had always shown up when she needed to, and now it was her turn.

Octavia could hear the faint clicking of a hoof over the deafening music causing her to lift her head.

"Could I get something started for you?" A mint-coated pegasus asked as she leaned over the bar.

"Water, please!" Octavia shouted too loudly in reply, startling the mare and herself.

The surprised bartender nodded before ducking down behind the bar to grab a small clear glass. Sliding it in front of Octavia, the bartender produced a slender bottle and poured out some of its crystal contents. The pegasus gave her a small smile before departing to attend to another patron.

Octavia took a generous swig of her drink, hoping its crispness would calm her nerves. Was this how Vinyl felt when she dragged her to all of those formal events? It took all of her willpower to fight the urge to turn tail and run to a quieter venue.

Before the sensation became too much, the overbearing noise ceased. Spinning around, she saw the vacant DJ booth as ponies began to converse, refilling the atmosphere with noise. Anxiety continued to wreak havoc on her stomach as she took another sip, praying that Vinyl would be up next so she could end this nightmare.

A moment later, Octavia could make out the faint lines of a pony behind the DJ booth. She rose out of her seat, hoping Vinyl would be next because Octavia was nearing her breaking point. Instantly a single white light flicked on, revealing Vinyl, or rather DJ Pon-3, behind the turntables with a confident smile. Octavia plopped back in her seat with some relief as she was in the endgame.

Vinyl lifted a hoof into the air, and Octavia braced herself for the impending blast of bass. However, the blow never came. Instead, Octavia's anxiety dissipated as the familiar sound of a stringed instrument quietly played through the oversized speakers.

"A cello," Octavia muttered in disbelief.

The exposition of the solo cello left Octavia perplexed along with the crowd. Was Vinyl performing a sonata for her? She would never do something that outlandish because it would take a hit on her reputation. However, something about the melody...

Octavia's breath hitched in her throat as the aria became more apparent. A month ago, Vinyl requested Octavia to play something she'd written after attending a performing arts social. Octavia dismissed it as one of Vinyl's experiments since it was only a sheet and a half of music.

Octavia closed her eye's as the overstimulation of the club faded from existence. She felt something pulling her to dance when the music filled the room. It wasn't something outlandish that could be seen on the dance floor but an elegant simplistic dance between two ponies.

Naturally, Octavia began to sway with the draw of the bow across the strings as her hooves took to the floor in a waltz. She imagined Vinyl in a radiant gown spinning her around as the tempo picked up. As the two ponies circled each other, Octavia could feel her heart racing as Vinyl pushed her faster.

Octavia could feel her breaths becoming heavier as she pushed her hooves' to keep pace with Vinyl. Something was changing as their smooth-flowing dance took on a more aggressive, snappier approach. As their hooves' clicked across the floor, Octavia could hear the heavy kick drum and sharp snare adding precision and purpose to their steps. With each spin Octavia did, a new sound was added to the song.

Spin.

Electronic beat.

Spin.

Synthetic counter melody.

Each time Octavia returned to Vinyl's hooves, the DJ's smile grew brighter and brighter. Octavia could not hide her elation as their hooves flew across the dance floor, but she could feel deep inside her that their dance was building to something. With one swift twist of her hoof, Vinyl spun Octavia away from her. With her first step, the cello entered into a run of its scale, going higher and higher as Octavia spun further away until everything stopped.

Octavia's labored breaths filled the silence as she gazed up at her marefriend, who had both hooves high in the air like a conductor about to start a song.

Bass drop.

As Vinyl brought her hooves down, bass thundered from the heavens as her marefriend was encased in a blue flame. As Octavia rushed over, the fire dissipated, revealing Vinyl dressed in a vibrant blue dress that accented her tantalizing curves. Her breathing ceased as her marefriend pressed her body into her as they renewed their dance to the crowd's roar.

Octavia's soul burned with a new passion as the DJ's masterpiece played around them. Vinyl had reached into her very essence and breathed new life into her. It ignited her spirit in a way that an allegro con brio did with its fast tempo and powerful dynamic. As she held her gaze on the white mare, Vinyl's eyes burned with fire and brilliance that was only matched by her love for the DJ. Octavia pressed her forehead into her marefriends as they continued to dance like the moon that had finally found its sun.

Octavia opened her eyes as the DJ transitioned seamlessly to a more popular DJ Pon-3 song to the crowd's roar. Octavia lingered as the sounds of music filled the club, not noise, music. She readjusted herself on the stool, ready to enjoy her marefriends music in a new light.

After finishing her set, DJ Pon-3 departed from the booth to thunderous applause. Octavia lingered in pure elation as she mused over the incredible combination of their passions flawlessly. Her heart swelled as Vinyl appeared from backstage. Octavia leaped from her stool and rushed to Vinyl, bowling over a couple of displeased ponies before jumping at the unsuspecting DJ.

"You were amazing!" Octavia exclaimed, giving her marefriend a deep kiss.

"I guess you liked it despite the mistakes!"

Octavia grabbed the DJ's cheeks and silenced her with another passionate kiss. "Stop it. You were brilliant! I can't even begin to describe how much I love you right now!"

"Well, if you're gonna be like this, I should drag you out here for classical remixes more often," Vinyl teased as they resumed their public display of affection to the crowd's murmurs.

"So, what're you drinking?" Vinyl asked as the pair returned to the bar.

"Oh, just water."

"Pfft, you need something better than that!" Vinyl teased, flagging down a bartender. "Hey, Julep, can I get a drink?"

The pegasus from before fluttered her way over to them, pulling out two fresh glasses. "You were on point tonight, Vinyl; I've never heard anything like that opening song before," Julep exclaimed, flashing a smile at Vinyl.

"I had some inspirational assistance," Vinyl joked with a wink.

Julep grinned at the loving couple before turning to the liquor shelf behind her. "Will it be the usual then?"

"Yes, two please."

The bartender pulled two glasses from the backlit wall behind her and dipped them into a tray full of party salts. Julep placed them on the wooden bar and plucked a turquoise bottle from the colorful array of liquors housed in a metal tub. She tossed the selected bottle into the air, hastily retrieving a silver drink mixer and a bottle with a transparent liquid with a frighteningly high alcoholic percentage. Setting the silver mixer down, Julep pirouetted, catching the airborne bottle with a wing. She deftly swept both bottles in her wingspread, twirling them in her feathers as she swayed to the beat of the music.

As more eyes fell upon the dancing pegasus, she flung the two bottles into the air, giving her just enough time to split the mixer. Catching the bottles in her wings, she poured their contents into the taller half of the mixer before placing them back in the metal tub. Grabbing the mixer, she added a tablespoon of crystal-like substance before closing the container, shaking it vigorously, and pouring the contents into the patient pair of glasses.

"Here you go." Julep gave a slight bow to the applause of onlookers before sliding the drinks in front of them.

Octavia eyed the aqua drink as she swirled its contents around the glass. She studied the little particles that bounced around inside the liquid as they refracted the light, almost giving them a diamond aesthetic.

"It'll be fine," Vinyl assured her, giving Octavia a nudge before draining the glass in one fluid motion. "The best part is the salt around the rim," Vinyl pointed out as she ran her tongue around it, causing a faint tremor to course through her body.

Octavia continued to eye the glass as Vinyl rested her cheeks on her forehooves, waiting for her to try it. Octavia knocked back the liquid in one swift motion, ignoring the burn as it ran down her throat. Closing her eyes, she quickly ran her tongue around the rim of the glass as a weird tingling sensation coursed through her.

"Damn, you never cease to amaze me!" Vinyl wrapped Octavia in an embrace and gave her a nuzzle.

Vinyl motioned to the bartender for a refill as they sat at the bar, enjoying each other's company. They giggled at the absurdity of some of the outfits on display or pointed out overly provocative dancing from some ponies. After having a couple of Vinyl's 'favorite drinks,' Octavia felt the tug of her marefriend on her forehoof. "What?"

"I want to show you something," Vinyl said with a mischievous smile.

Octavia gave an excited nod as Vinyl told Julep to add it to her tab before urging Octavia to follow her. Sliding off the stool, Octavia's head began to swim as her hooves hit the floor. Concentrating as hard as she could to keep her head clear, Octavia followed her marefriend up several staircases and dark hallways, eventually stopping at a random metal door.

"Where are you taking me?"

Vinyl smiled as she opened the door and led Octavia onto the rooftop. As the pair neared the edge, Octavia's eyes grew in wonder as they overlooked all of Canterlot's entertainment district. The vibrant coruscating lights contrasted beautifully against Canterlot's softer ambiance. With each building projected its alluring hues as ponies bustled about. The pulsing of the distant music continued to echo through the night sky.

"It's beautiful," Octavia whispered as she put her forehooves on the rail.

"Yeah, I come up here when I want to clear my head," she confided, joining Octavia at the rail.

"Why haven't you shown me this before?"

"I could never get you anywhere close without you giving me an excuse."

Octavia hung her head as she regretted every beautiful missed opportunity. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Vinyl leaned in to give Octavia a kiss on the cheek. "You're here now, and that's all that matters."

Octavia nuzzled her marefriend as they took in the resplendent lights that gave Canterlot a nice pop against the scenic backdrop. "I think we should head home."

"Why?"

"You know why," Octavia teased, flicking her tail at Vinyl's face.

"Oh! Let's." The DJ nodded vigorously as they headed for the door.

Octavia rolled over, her head pounding like a timpani drum as a forehoof searched for her marefriend. "Vinyl, what in Tartarus did we do last night?"

Even though Vinyl was not the cuddling type, she was always within hooves' reach when the DJ decided to sleep in. "Vinyl?" Octavia called out hesitantly, failing to find Vinyl's soft coat in her hazy search.

As she opened her eyes, revealing an undisturbed section of the bed. Worry clouded her mind as she hastily surveyed the room, realizing it was not hers. Pulling the covers to her face as she tried to put the pieces together. Octavia knew that she had gone home with Vinyl; they were heading upstairs as she was teasing Vinyl as they went into the bedroom, and... No. That had been weeks before Vinyl took that temp job, and they moved to Ponyville. That means they were in Ponyville; drawing upon more recent memories, she recalled doing a thing for Twilight. Octavia remembered going to the castle, playing in the library, going through the...

Mirror!

Jumping out of bed, Octavia's rear hooves connected with the floor a lot sooner than she anticipated causing her to knock her head, triggering images of last night to flash to life. Octavia pressed her hand into her temple to quell her pounding head before climbing onto her hooves, or rather her feet. As she stood up, her body began to sway as if she was still under the influence of Vinyl's concoctions. Luckily she was able to reorient herself rather quickly with minimal staggering.

Taking the small victory, Octavia decided to make her way over to the bathroom so she could clean herself up. Venturing from her safe haven, Octavia noticed the eerie silence that loomed in the apartment. Cautiously she tip-toed around the apartment, expecting something to jump out at her.

After successfully making it to the bathroom entrance, she recalled Jacen saying he would be gone because of work. She sighed in relief and took a step onto the tile retracting her foot at the biting cold. Why were feet so sensitive? Steeling her body, she attempted again as she caught something moving from the corner of her eye. Jumping back, she prepared to buck the Tartarus out of somepony before seeing who it was.

"It's just you," she reassured herself, sighing. "You're the only one here."

The relief that had come quickly disappeared as she could finally fully observe the extent of her transformation. Hesitantly she stepped towards the mirror, grabbing onto the side of the basin to get a closer look at her new features.

She was relieved that she retained her lavender irises, but her pristine mane was disheveled to the point that it gave Vinyl a run for her bits. However, that was where the similarities ended, running her hand across her diminished muzzle. It had been significantly reduced and contorted to the points where her chin and nose were. Turning her head, she was taken aback by how her nose protruded from her face coming to a small point. Even her beautiful grey coat was replaced with this pale, hairless skin.

She did not realize how drastic the change had been to the point where she barely recognized herself. Questions began to ravage her mind as fear seized her heart like a vice grip, tightening with every question. Would Vinyl even recognize her? Would she accept her if she did?

No. Vinyl was the only pony to see Octavia for everything she was, flaws and all. Thinking about it, that crazy mare would probably believe this is the coolest thing about transforming into some entirely different creature. Octavia giggled at the thought of Vinyl raving about all of her new features and how she hated how she was the one that got to experience this.

She took a step back to see her entire self in the mirror and noted how long her legs were. Octavia wondered if that meant she could finally reach that top shelf where Vinyl would hide all of her favorite snacks. Octavia let out a heavy sigh; she knew it wouldn't matter until she found a way home. Taking a moment, Octavia did her best to brush out her mane to have some resemblance to its usual style. Returning to the bedroom, Octavia's eyes began to drift, noticing how emptier the apartment was. Thinking about it, this was probably the only time she would be able to explore his apartment without Jacen's looming presence nearby.

Looking around the living room, the white suit of armor caught her eye. She took several cautionary steps toward it. She knew it wasn't going to move, but it looked like it might at any moment. The suit remained still as she reached out to touch it. As the cold polished plastic reached the tips of her hand, she released the breath she didn't know she was holding.

Octavia traced the contours of the armor, guessing at what each symbol and button was for, like an archeologist studying a mysterious relic. Running the tips of her hand down the polished surface, she noticed gaps between the plates, warranting further exploration. Reaching underneath, the familiar textures of elastic and polyester jumped to mind as she gently brushed the material with the tip of her hand.

The costume armor made Octavia think back to her times wandering backstage before the orchestra's warm-up. She'd sometimes see racks of costumes from the Equestrian Society's theatrical troupe. One expected such exquisite costumes to be woven of the finest thread Canterlot had to offer. However, one touch of the garment revealed just how simple the material was. Seeing somepony taking such crude fabrics and spinning them into something visually enchanting was genuinely inspiring.

Octavia took a step back to take in the set as a whole. The morning sun pouring through the window painted the white sentinel in a different light. It stood like any dutiful guard she'd find posted at castle gates.

Turning around, Octavia spotted a wine cabinet with dusty bottles on the far wall next to the door. Above the storage area, she saw four picture frames that stood in an orderly line.

As she got closer, Octavia noticed they were all pictures of the white costume. Three of the four frames were of someone—probably Jacen—posing in the armor. However, the last one was different. She picked up the wooden frame inspecting the sea of white guards. They all stood in formation on a massive staircase. She tried to find Jacen but couldn't spot him amid the mass of costumed warriors despite his imposing stature.

Returning the picture to its proper place, she squatted down to inspect the mysterious bottles. Running her hand across one of them, she was surprised at how much dust was caked on her hand. Pulling the black bottle out, which had a strange sea creature on the white label. Returning it, she inspected the rest of the slots to see different shades coated in a fine layer of dust.

Octavia studied the mysterious liquids before a familiar glint of lacquered wood caught her discerning eye. She peered around the corner and spotted a guitar resting on its stand. She was familiar enough with other stringed instruments to play a few notes, but the notion left as quickly as it came as she looked over her unfamiliar appendages.

"I wonder if you're at least tuned," seeing how more than a few ponies would buy the instrument in hopes of learning to play it and getting bored with it in a couple of days, allowing it to spend the rest of its time collecting dust.

She quickly checked her surroundings before awkwardly picking up the guitar. Not trusting her stability, she promptly sat on the couch, placing the instrument on her legs. Letting out a calming breath, Octavia curled her left hand around the neck of the guitar. Balling up her right hand, she ran the edge across the E string. As the cord vibrated its deep tone, Octavia hummed softly to see if it was in tune.

Satisfied with the minor flatness, she repeated the process with the other five strings noticing how much harder it was to pluck the single strings the further down she got. Trying the lower strings again, Octavia felt a sharp pain shoot through her left pastern towards her hand. Shaking out the discomfort, she returned her left hand, bending at her pastern, causing the pain to return.

"Huh," she muttered as she studied her new appendage, opening, and closing.

Taking the neck of the guitar, Octavia placed it in the middle of her hand, wrapping the individual claws around it. To her surprise, it felt natural as it rested in her new hoof. Taking her free hand, she placed them on the strings individually, noting how much easier it was compared to her hoof.

Strumming the guitar, Octavia's eyes began to drift around the apartment. It had all the standard furnishings one would expect, and at least he kept it consistent by having all-black furniture that contrasted nicely against the white walls.

One thing was glaringly apparent as she looked at the finer details: Somepony merely existed here. It was as if it was a hollow shell void of life. All she'd have to do was remove a couple of items, which would easily be mistaken for a model room. The only thing that felt alive was the errant notes she was playing. Loneliness started to creep into her mind as she returned her attention to the guitar to suppress the thought.

Octavia heard a metal bolt sliding, followed by the front door creaking open. Jumping out of the seat, she bounded over to the stand while the guitar voiced displeasure as she set it down. She wasn't about to be the rude house guest touching his property unbeknownst to him.

Coming around the corner, Octavia couldn't help but be taken aback by the significant difference in apparel from the day before. He was covered head to toe in all variations of dark blue formed into tiny squares and strewed across the uniform in an unorthodox manner. She could not discern why somepony would wear that let alone have it all match except for the shoes.

"Hello."

Her greeting fell upon deaf ears as he slammed his back into the wall and slid down to the floor. After tossing his hat off to the side, he began tearing at the laces of his black shoes like snakes coiled around his legs.

Octavia hesitated for a moment, rubbing her hand along her arm, contemplating if he heard or was ignoring her. "Jacen?"

He whipped his head around at the startling sound of his name, catching Octavia by surprise. His shock lasted only a second.

"Oh, hey," Jacen replied quickly before he turned his attention back to his boots, removing them more calmly as he tried to catch his breath. Once freed of their bindings, he haphazardly dumped them on the floor. "Sorry, you caught me off guard."

"Oh, my apologies."

"No-no-no! It's okay. I'm just used to coming back to an empty apartment, is all. I completely forgot you were here," Jacen quickly said, giving her a weak smile before rising to his full height. "But I'm glad you decided to stick around."

"Those are some interesting clothes," Octavia said, pointing to his uniform.

"Yeah, the Navy likes to keep things nautical," he replied as he spun slowly around to show her his on-duty outfit. "If you could give me a second so I can change. It's not the most comfortable thing to be in."

Octavia nodded as Jacen brushed past her. "It's okay, you'll be fine," Jacen kept muttering until he reached his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Octavia turned back towards the front door, wondering if that was how he always took off his shoes.

Before she could give it more thought, Jacen reemerged in a new outfit that looked much lighter than he had on previously. However, his shoulders were still tense, surveying the room like he was on edge for some reason.

"Did you have a good day doing the Navy thing?"

"I'm fine!" he answered quickly before correcting himself. "It was just a, um, interesting day doing the 'Navy thing.'"

"Why was it interesting?" she inquired further.

"Well you see," he stammered as eyes darted every which way, searching for an answer. "We just had to work on our equipment."

"Oh, what made it interesting?"

"Contractors come out and build scaffolding below our platform so we could open the panels below our radar. So basically, we were hanging off the side of the ship about four stories above the water."

"That's pretty high up."

"Yeah. What made it really fun was that scaffolding was grated, so you could look down and literally see the water below you."

Considering the old adage was to not look down, the thought of seeing through the only thing keeping her from falling didn't sit well with her. "I can see how that could be… jarring."

"Nah, it wasn't that bad. We were wearing harnesses the whole time," Jacen clarified before his eyes shifted past Octavia.

Octavia turned her head in the direction Jacen was facing as a cold sweat broke out. Biting her tongue, Jacen made his way over and picked up the guitar. It was becoming too much on her conscious as Jacen studied the instrument.

"I'm sorry," Octavia blurted out, trying to ease her guilt. "I was playing with your guitar earlier."

"Why?" He asked, not deviating his eyes from the instrument.

"Because I find music comforting," she confided, rubbing her arm.

"Can you play?" He turned towards her with intrigue.

"No," she said flatly, remembering how awkward it was playing without hooves. "Do you play?"

"I can, but if I can play well is a totally different matter," he joked while fidgeting with the instrument.

"What does that mean?"

"I'm still learning, so don't expect some ridiculous guitar solos or amazing riffs," he joked, placing the guitar back on the stand with the strap tucked neatly behind it.

"Everypony has to start somewhere," she stated, remembering when her instructor would make her play a section repeatedly because she missed a single note. "It takes an exceptional pony to be able to pick up an instrument and be brilliant at it."

Jacen started eyeing her, perplexed about something. "True."

"What made you want to guitar?" She asked quickly.

"Good question," he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned his head up. "I guess it's because I was in band during middle and high school, and I still wanted to play. So I chose the guitar because I thought it was cool."

"Interesting," Octavia stated, remembering that she played the cello because she thought the same thing. "Did you perform by yourself, or were you part of a quartet, or were you a part of an orchestra?"

"Yeah, I was in an orchestra-style band with all the woodwind, brass, and percussion instruments. However, it wasn't a traditional orchestra because we had no string instruments."

"Really?" She was happy to have met somepony that had a musical background. "What instrument did you play?"

Jacen shifted around as he tugged at his shirt. "Clarinet."

"Clarinet, really?" Octavia chortled at the thought of this behemoth playing such a tiny instrument. "They wouldn't let you play the bass clarinet or contra?"

"Yeah, laugh it up," Jacen shot back, not sharing her amusement. "And no, that section was already filled up, plus you can't march with a contra clarinet."

"I'm sorry," she quickly said, trying to lighten the mood. "But the thought of you playing such a petite instrument caught me unexpectedly off guard."

"And now you see why I decided to pick up the guitar," he said dryly.

"I meant no offense. The instrument I play is bigger than me."

"Really? What instrument do you play?" Jacen asked.

"The cello."

"Cello?" Jacen clarified, sizing her up. "A cello is not bigger than you," he pointed out.

As Octavia was about to snap back, however, seeing how much smaller the guitar was compared to her new body, she wasn't so sure.

"You're probably right," she conceded. "I perform in an orchestra back home, but I also perform in a quartet and other ensembles; it just depends on what the organizer wants."

"Like professionally?"

"Yes," she said, thinking back to all the venues she had played at. "It's allowed me to travel extensively and play in the most resplendent venues."

"What were some of your favorites?" he asked, leaning on the couch.

"The Royal Concert Hall in Canterlot would have to be my favorite since it was the first big concert I played in. I also played for a Royal wedding and at a Crystal Palace..." Octavia trailed off as the events that led her here flashed to life.

"Wow, that's really cool," he said with a whistle. "We didn't do anything like that."

"Where did you perform?"

"We mostly played at football stadiums, but sometimes we would play at college concert halls when it was really fancy."

"The venues matter little to me. The music we got to perform was the part that mattered," Octavia said with a faint smile.

"Yeah, we didn't get to perform any epic scores like y'all probably did," he stated, pushing off the couch. "All I remember from that time is how tedious it was and being forced to practice all the time. All it did was prevent me from doing other things," he groaned.

"Like what?"

"I don't know," he blurted out, pulling at the back of his neck. "Like I wanted to try out for football, and my mom said no, I needed to see this through."

"Football?"

"Yeah, the American version, not the UK one," Jacen clarified, hanging his head. "But it doesn't matter; it's in the past."

"So what happened?"

"She made me finish my last year of band even though I hated it," Jacen stated with a heavy sigh.

"Why did you hate it?"

Jacen let out another sigh as he started to pace. "Because it's stupid hot in Texas, and we were constantly outside marching until it was dark. Then we had to perform at all the Football games, killing any time I would have to spend with friends. Not to mention, it's high school, and kids aren't the kindest people when it comes to things that they deem not cool."

"What would they say?"

"What? The kids?" Jacen clarified.

Octavia nodded.

"Oh, the usual stuff of being a nerd who lives in their mother's basement and has no social skills. Or being called gay, even though I don't see how it was an insult, it still bothered to be because it's not masculine. Or my favorite, telling me how it looks ridiculous that someone so large plays such a petite instrument," Jacen said, shooting her an icy glare.

Octavia shrank back. "Oh, right.."

"It's fine," he said with a dismissive wave. "People will be assholes to make themselves feel better."

Octavia thought back to when she was at primary school, and she would be picked on for the same things until she transferred schools and met Vinyl. "Not everypony is like that."

Jacen stopped pacing; his eyes became transfixed on the floor. "True, but in my experience, the assholes have won out."

Octavia bit her lower lip as unspoken tension built into the room. Searching the room to divert the conversation, she spotted the pictures on the cabinet by the guitar. "I was wondering if you could tell me about those pictures," she asked hesitantly.

"What?" He snapped, wiping his head toward her.

"The pictures," Octavia repeated, hesitantly pointing behind her.

"Oh those pictures. What about them?"

"They look," she paused, trying to find the appropriate descriptor. "Interesting."

"Really?" His eyes went wide with genuine surprise. "These were taken at Celebration."

"Celebration?" Octavia watched as he moved around the couch to collect one of the frames, picking it up delicately in his hands like it would shatter on contact.

"It's like a specific convention for Star Wars fans that happens every year. I was lucky that they approved my leave so I could drive down to Florida to attend. It's a lot of fun because you get to meet a ton of fans from all around the world," He explained, lost in the picture in his hands.

"Like this picture!" He turned the frame towards Octavia. "This was taken at Cocoa Beach; it's probably one of my favorite photos because it looks like I'm on Scariff."

"Scariff?"

"One of the tropical planets in a Star Wars movie." A smile creased his lips. "We did our best to recreate the movie posters but this was as close as we got."

Octavia picked up the frame he was talking about, seeing other people in similar costumes in the background. "Are those your friends in the picture?"

Jacen's eyes saddened as his smile faded from existence. "Kind of, we did have a lot of fun taking those photos, but I couldn't tell you their names."

"I'm surprised none of you did any proper introductions," she said in dismay; even in the most informal situations, Octavia did her best to introduce herself and ask for others' names.

"We did," he stated, pressing his hand into the side of his head. "I just have a hard time remembering people's names."

"Why is that?"

"It's just one of the wonderful ways my brain works," he acknowledged sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said softly.

"It's fine," he said sharply.

"It must be hard dealing with that."

Jacen nodded his head. "I've been dealing with it my whole life; I just have a hard time remembering things."

"What other things do you have a hard time remembering?"

"Everything," Jacen said sharply, rubbing his hand on the side of his head. "I have a hard time remembering even simple shit and people get frustrated with me because of that."

"How often do you forget things?"

"Almost everyday," he said, shifting his hand to his forehead.

"Every day?" She blurted out, thinking about how frustrating it would be to tell somepony repeatedly the same thing every day. "I can kind of see why someone might get frustrated if it happens almost every day."

"It's not like I have a choice," he snapped, rubbing his forehead. "I hate my brain so much because of it. All it does is piss people off."

"Is inability to remember things making it hard for you to have friends?"

"Yes... I mean, no... I don't know," he stammered, putting his face in his hands. "People are just assholes to me regardless."

"Everypony..."

"It's everybody Octavia," Jacen cut her off, gripping the top of the couch. "Everybody and yes, everybody that I have met has treated me like shit for the things I like!"

Octavia's breath hitched in her throat at the outburst. Everything about him showed that he was ready to strike at anybody who came near except his eyes, which showed insurmountable fear and pain. His eyes were just as expressive as Vinyl's, and he was hurting bad.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"No, you're not," Jacen replied with malice.

"But I am..."

"Enough!" Jacen roared, rising to his full height as his eyes burned with rage. "You know absolutely nothing about me, and you have the gall to come in here and lie straight to my face. If you had the slightest inkling of what I have been through, you would not have the audacity to say those things," Jacen seethed, articulating every word that made Octavia's blood run cold.

Octavia remained frozen in terror at the unbridled rage that Jacen had just displayed. The only saving grace was that he stood fixed behind the couch, keeping his distance from her. Octavia's eyes darted to the bedroom door, contemplating making a run for the only safe haven she knew.

"Octavia, I'm..."

Octavia gave him a brief glance catching the panic in his eyes as he cautiously extended a hand toward her. She bolted from her spot, praying that Jacen wouldn't give chase. Reaching the last vestige of safety, Octavia slammed the door shut and pressed her back into it. Sliding down to the floor, she pulled her knees to her chest as her heart pounded in her ears.

Octavia buried her face into her knees, begging to be free of this waking nightmare. She just wanted to be back at the bar, watching ponies trot past them while in Vinyl's embrace, keeping her safe from the strangers around them.

Octavia waited in suspense for Jacen to continue his tirade or, worse, break through the door. Shaking, she hugged her legs as tight as possible, wishing Vinyl was here. This was the end. She wasn't going to return home. Wetness formed on her knees as the thought of never seeing Vinyl again tore her heart apart. Regret made her stomach turn as all the missed opportunities to spend with Vinyl flashed to life. She had failed her marefriend. She hated herself for not taking Vinyl up on her offers sooner because little did she know that it was her last. Minutes passed with nothing, not even a single outburst directed at her.

"God, you're such... idiot, now she's... scared of you."

"Wait, what?" Octavia tried to calm her breathing and pressed an ear to the door.

Octavia searched as she tried to think of a safe way to see him. As her eyes ventured to the base of the door, she noticed a gap between the carpet and the door. Laying as flat as she could, Octavia peered through the opening to spot Jacen's feet in front of a chair far from the bedroom. From this angle, Octavia couldn't tell if he was standing or sitting.

Standing up, Octavia contemplated if a quick peek would be worth the risk of Jacen spotting her. Listening to Jacen again as she attempted to discern the distance. Octavia let out a heavy sigh figuring that this was her best opportunity; slowly twisting the knob, she cracked open the door just enough to see him. Opening the door slightly more, Octavia saw the behemoth hunched over, eyes fixed on the floor, shaking his head.

Gripping the doorknob, she thought about what to do; what would Vinyl do? Her mind drifted to when she was getting ready to go to Twilight's castle and her panic state. Her mind tortured her with the possibility of failing in front of the princess, jeopardizing her and Vinyl's future, further exacerbating her stress. Even as the weight of the world relentlessly drove her down, Vinyl knew how to make it better; she always knew. Celestia, why wasn't Vinyl here to tell her what to say?

Vinyl wasn't here; pressing her head into the door, she had to do something. "Jacen..."

Jacen's head shot up, surprised to see her. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you," he said softly before placing his head in his hands.

Octavia wanted to say it was okay, but she'd be lying.

"I understand if you want to leave," he said quietly, wiping a tear away. "I've chased everyone else off."

"I'll pay for a hotel if you need me to." He pressed his hands into his eyes and let out long, controlled breaths. "I should've known better than to keep you here. It's not safe."

"Okay," Octavia said softly.

Jacen did not move or react to her answer giving the impression that she was making the right choice. Slowly she walked towards the front door keeping an eye on him in case it was a ruse. However, as Octavia neared the front door, the sensation of a missed opportunity gnawed at her mind. But, this was the safer option, even he admitted it. Grabbing the doorknob, deep regret swelled in her stomach, causing her to turn back towards Jacen. No, she wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

"You have," she said timidly, keeping a firm grip on the door. "You let a complete stranger into your home because you wanted to help."

"Yeah," Jacen said, rocking back into his chair and releasing a heavy sigh. "And look what good it did. You'd be better off without me."

Octavia chewed on her lower lip, thinking of what to say next. She had actually never given it any thought as to how different her situation would be if she never ran into Jacen. Touching her wound, he still wanted to help despite her lashing out at him. He even was patient with her when she struggled to walk. He showed no discontent for her even when she was being difficult.

Thinking about it, she would probably still be out there all alone in if Jacen hadn't been there for her. "That's not true," she said, stepping away from the front door and coming around to where Jacen was seated.

"I find that hard to believe," Jacen said sarcastically, keeping his eyes glued to the floor.

"It is," she said firmly. "You helped me when nopony..."

Jacen eyed her as Octavia fumbled to find the correct word. "Nobody would help me."

"That's because I felt bad for running into you," he said quietly, sighing.

Octavia let out a frustrated sigh; the pity party was starting to annoy her. "You still helped me even after I bucked you."

"Yeah." A faint smile creased his lips while he rubbed his chest. "That was a fun little surprise, but what was I supposed to do? Just leave you there alone?"

"You could of."

"No," he said quietly.

"Then why did you?" Octavia said firmly. "Why help me?"

"You were hurt, scared, and alone," he countered, his eyes locking with Octavia's before drifting to the floor. "I thought I could help you and at least feel like I was making the right choice. You know?" Jacen's eyes returned to hers, brimming with complicated sorrow. "Doing something good for someone else, like how everyone preaches all the time. But, even with good intentions, it still bites me in the ass."

"No," she said confidently. Octavia wouldn't let him berate himself for showing a complete stranger compassion, a virtue most cherished in Equestria. "Jacen, you showed me compassion when you helped me with walking and told me stories that made me feel less scared."

"Really?"

"Yes," Octavia said confidently; there was no turning back. "And I want to apologize..."

"For what? You did nothing wrong."

"Jacen," she said firmly. "Let me finish."

Jacen nodded.

"I have a..." Octavia hesitated as she tried to find the right words to say. While Vinyl was her rock, she didn't want to get her involved in case things didn't work out. The less these weird ponies know about Equestria, the better. "I have a friend I live with, and we get into arguments from time to time. I'm known to have difficulty letting things go. I've also been known to voice my displeasure long after making my point clear to them."

Octavia gripped her arm as her chest began to tighten. "This is where you're better than me, Jacen. You didn't chase me and continue yelling at me like I would. You gave me space so I could calm down and think clearly. It allowed me to see my mistakes and made me realize why my roommate would try to leave our confrontations. They just wanted space so they wouldn't say something in the heat of the moment that either of us would regret later."

Octavia hung her head in defeat. "I know I have. That is why I want to apologize for asking you too many personal questions," she confided, rubbing her hand along her foreleg. "I wanted to know who I was dealing with now, and I let my nerves get to me. I hope you can forgive me."

Jacen's eyes went wide for a brief second before shifting to the ground. "Okay," he said flatly.

Author's Note

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section.

Small Moments Like These
View Online

Harmonic Cognition

Small Moments Like These

Octavia stood silent as she tried to understand why he said okay as if he was in the wrong. Vinyl would often do it to end the argument, and Octavia would only find out after she had calmed down or Vinyl had stopped talking to her. They were both in the wrong and apologized, so the air should be cleared, right? But it did not feel like there was a resolution as Jacen continued to stare at the floor.

He stood up abruptly, rubbing his stomach. "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry."

Octavia's stomach grumbled as she couldn't remember the last time she ate a meal. Was it breakfast? Vinyl would jump at the opportunity to tell her she needed to eat with how often Octavia reminded her. She regretted not taking her advice.

"I could eat," Octavia replied.

"Just to give you a heads up, I'm not the best cook."

"Don't worry, I'm not much of a cook either," Octavia admitted, moving over to rest her hands on the counter that looked into the kitchen.

"So, what do you normally eat?" Octavia noticed sharp points on her teeth.

Jacen ducked behind the counter, pulling out this gray metal contraption and plugging it in. Octavia stared in wonder as he opened the lid to reveal grates like a grill. She'd always assumed that grills were large items that would mostly be outside.

"Most mornings, I eat five eggs, scrambled. Then for the other meals, I eat chicken with vegetables and potatoes," Jacen answered, turning around to open the refrigerator.

"Chicken?" Octavia gasped.

"Yeah, what about it?" Jacen questioned as he turned around with a quizzical expression. "Don't tell me you're one of those vegan people, are you?"

"Vegan people?"

"Yeah, pretentious, entitled jerks that like to flaunt their dietary superiority as if they're single-handedly saving the world." Turning back around to rummage through the refrigerator. "It honestly doesn't bother me, and some vegan food is actually delicious, but don't go around belittling others because they don't subscribe to your beliefs."

"Oh," Octavia replied tepidly.

"The point is I'm fine with you doing you but don't try to force your ideas onto me, and we will be good."

Octavia watched as Jacen returned to the refrigerator and retrieved a yellow tray with two slabs of pink meat inside. Removing the outside packaging, he placed them onto the gray stove top. "So it's safe to assume that you don't want any chicken?"

Octavia shook her head as she scrunched up her nose.

"No worries." Jacen closed the lid to the stove with his arm, causing the meat inside to let out a hiss as faint white smoke bellowed out the sides. He turned to the sink and started washing his hands. "So, do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No."

"Ah, lucky you. I have two younger sisters; they were a joy to be around," Jacen joked while toweling off his hands. "My dad was gone most of the time, so I was the only drop of testosterone in a sea of estrogen."

"It couldn't be all bad?"

"Nah, I learned some great skills like being able to go clothes shopping without complaining, holding copious amounts of purses, and the proper way to answer 'does this make me look fat?'"

"What is the proper response?" Octavia asked, placing her hands on the counter across from Jacen.

"'Yes! It accentuates the love handles.'"

Octavia's mind tried to process the absurdity of the statement. "You can't be serious."

"But of course I am. That is the simplest and most effective means to prevent you from having to endure that question again."

Octavia narrowed her eyes.

"What, you think I'm that stupid?" Jacen asked, flashing a smile at her.

"Yes, I could see you saying something like that."

"What?" Jacen gasped, placing a hand on his chest. "I'm offended that you think I would be so ignorant," he teased.

"So then how do you respond?"

"Well, I would tell them 'oh dear that doesn't do you justice let's find something more appealing," he stated with dramatic flair.

"So you're a fashionista as well," Octavia joked.

"Hardly, but it was always nice to hear that the ones I did pick out they received compliments on."

"Who're these people you picked them out for?" She asked, leaning onto the counter.

"Past girlfriends," Jacen answered as his expression darkened as his eyes drifted to the side.

"Do you have any of these girlfriends now?"

"No."

"I'm sorry," she said, biting her lower lip.

"It's fine," he said flatly as he shoulders sagged. "Plus, dinner is almost ready."

Jacen returned his attention to the grill as he lifted the lid, causing steam to billow out. Octavia reflexively scrunched her face as the meat continued to crackle and hiss.

"Can I ask you a sensitive question?" Octavia hesitantly asked.

"Sure." Jacen turned to the fridge, retrieved two blue bags, and placed them in a black box.

"When was the last time you had a girlfriend?"

Jacen paused for a minute as his eyes shifted to her. "My last girlfriend broke up with me right after boot camp." He looked down and counted on his claws. "So that would be about six years ago."

"That's a long time," she softly said as she thought about how long she had been with Vinyl and tried to imagine her life without the DJ.

"It's fine; it's been so long that it doesn't bother me anymore." Jacen steadied himself, drawing a deep breath and slowly letting it out. "So, what about you?"

"What do you mean?" Octavia asked as the spotlight shifted.

"Do you have a boyfriend or something?"

Octavia wrung her hands as Jacen's gaze shifted to her. She needed to protect Vinyl in cases things went south, but she needed Jacen to trust her if he was going to help her find a way home. If she outright lied to him, he could potentially see through the lie and kick her to the curb.

"It's complicated," she answered with a heavy sigh. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Oh," he said, shrinking back as if he had just broken something. "I think dinner is ready."

Octavia felt the weight lift off her shoulders as Jacen started turning the knobs on the front of the grill. She was honest as her situation was complicated in that matter; she didn't know how she would return home. She hoped that it would dissuade him from further inquiry revolving around Vinyl.

Octavia watched as Jacen peeled the steaming chicken off the grill and put them on the plate. Next, he retrieved the blue bags pouring out the contents on the plate.

"Dinner is served," he said, placing the plates on the table.

Octavia sat down, observing the vegetable medley before her. She could identify most of them, to her relief, which caused her mouth to salivate. Picking up the plate, Octavia blew on it to cool it down before taking a healthy bite causing strands of her mane to touch the food. She tossed back the errant strands of hair before burying her muzzle in the food. Peering over the edge, she caught Jacen staring at her in utter shock. Quickly setting it down, her cheeks became warm as she did not understand what she had done wrong.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let me grab the silverware, so you don't... err... have to eat like that." He said with a nervous chuckle.

He sprung out of his chair and started rifling through draws until he found the flatware. Jacen quickly placed them beside her plate, far from the traditional placement. Octavia gave him a courtesy thanks before grabbing it with her whole hand; she stabbed at the food, causing a muted chuckle from Jacen.

"That's one way to use it." Octavia glared at him, causing the chuckling to cease. "Sorry," he apologized before returning to his dinner.

The pair continued to eat silently except for the forks clinking against the ceramic. Octavia felt her eyes beginning to draw up as Jacen tore into the chicken. She faintly remembered when Celestia hosted a Minatorian delegation and how unrefined they were, especially regarding dinner etiquette. It was Octavia's first encounter witnessing creatures eating meat, and it made her stomach tie into knots, despite the assurance by one of her colleagues that it was a meat substitute.

As she continued to observe him, she noticed that despite the alarming pace that he ate, there was methodology. He would cut the meat into sections efficiently, minimizing wasted movement. As he scraped at the remnants, Octavia noticed faint red blotches on the edges where his appendages protruded from his hand. As she looked closer, the skin appeared to be torn as dried blood filled the cracks.

"What happened to your hands?" Octavia asked.

Jacen shifted his hand about, studying the chicken and knife. "What do you mean?"

"Why are your hands all torn up?"

Jacen turned his hands over as his face started to turn a shade of red. Setting the fork on the plate hastily, Jacen tucked his hands under the table. "It's dry outside, and it causes my skin to crack."

She didn't know how that would factor into his skin looking like that, but she knew very little about their anatomy. "Is that normal?" She asked, studying her hands for similar damage.

"I'll get the dishes." Jacen shot up from the table, taking all the dishes with him.

"Hey, was finished with that!" Octavia said sharply.

Jacen was unphased by the response, placing the half-eaten food into the sink.

"Jacen, I wasn't finshed," she demanded; he would learn that she was not a mare to ignore outright.

Jacen froze before dropping his head at realizing what he had done. "Damn it, I'm sorry, Octavia; I can make you some more if you want."

Octavia gave a firm nod, sending him into action and drying off his hand before retrieving another bag from the fridge and placing it in the black box.

"It doesn't take very long for it to be heated," he stated before returning to the dirty dishes.

Octavia fidgeted with her hands, thinking of a way to break this uneasy silence. "So, what do you do for work?"

"In super simple terms, I do radar analysis and missile defense for ships. We use radars to track other ships on the water. It sends out an electronic pulse saying, 'where are you,' and the other ship responds, 'I'm right here.'"

"Like an echo?"

"Something like that, yeah. I wouldn't know how to explain it otherwise," Jacen admitted, slightly chuckling. "For missile defense, the simplest way to put it is people want to shoot stuff at us to blow up our ship. My job is to deter the missile away from the ship, so we don't die."

"Doesn't that scare you?"

"Nah, not really." Jacen paused for a moment, rubbing his arm. "Being on the ship is probably the safest place for a deployment. You have a greater chance of your boat sinking than being shot at."

Octavia shook her head in disappointment. "I cannot understand why creatures resort to violence to sort out problems."

"I agree, but that's not the world we live in," Jacen said solemnly. "Some people see violence as their only means to achieve their goal, so we have to protect people from those individuals."

"So, your solution to violence is a further escalation of grander violence?" Octavia asked in disgust.

"We only use violence as a last resort," Jacen countered as an electronic beep rang out, causing Jacen to swiftly repeat the earlier process of producing the vegetable medley. "We have the whole world watching what we're doing, and if we get too excessive, people will start to hate us more and retaliate."

Setting the steaming plate in front of her, Octavia eagerly dug into the food. Her palate immediately became singed by the immense heat as tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. Octavia clamped her eyes shut as she bit back the urge to spit it out. Even in tremendous pain, she would never degrade herself like that.

Octavia puffed out her cheeks to cool the raging fire inside her mouth while maintaining her outward appearance as a proper mare. Looking up, she saw Jacen frantically fumbling around in the kitchen before sliding the water over. Taking the glass quickly, Octavia down as much as possible as the cooling sensation spread through her mouth. "Thank you."

"Sorry, I'm a terrible host."

"No matter, I wasn't expecting it to be that hot."

"Well, it literally just came out of the microwave, so it's going to be."

Octavia gave him an annoyed look before taking more reserved bites of food. While eating, she noticed Jacen tediously cleaning the kitchen, wiping down all the surfaces used to prepare the meal or wash the dishes. She was impressed with how thorough he was and secretly wished Vinyl was more fastidious. Despite the mare's proficiency at spinning records, that skill did not transfer over to wiping down anything.

Finishing the last few bites of food, Octavia wiped the corners of her mouth, her stomach finally satisfied. "Thank you for the meal, Jacen."

"No problem," he said confidently, picking up the used dishes.

Octavia looked around the apartment. "So, what do you do during your evenings?"

"Usually, I eat my dinner, watch some TV, then I take a shower before heading to bed. I have to turn in pretty early since I wake up stupid early in the morning to get to the gym."

"Okay, but I meant more for fun. What do you do to unwind?" Octavia asked, clasping her hands in her lap as she leaned slightly forward. "Do you at least go out?"

"To the gym," Jacen stated, giving her a cheeky smile.

Octavia rolled her eyes. "Aside from the gym."

"Oh." Jacen looked up for a moment. "Well, I go out and do legion events at least once a month in my costume."

Octavia straightened up, blinking in disbelief. "So you only go out once a month?"

"Yeah, I guess so, but it doesn't bother me. I enjoy my routine."

"You don't do anything spontaneous, like traveling to a different city, watching a play, or going to a club?"

"Huh," he uttered, setting a clean dish on the counter. "I would never have taken you for the clubber type."

"Hardly," she chuckled. "That is all my roommate; she's the adventurous one between us."

"Oh," he replied, his eyes showing his surprise. "Then what do you do then?

"Most nights, when my roommate is home, we try to find unique restaurants or go to parties that the society I belong to hosts. But, most of the time, we will take an evening stroll through the parks or downtown," she said, reminiscing over those magical evenings. "The city we live in is lovely at night."

"Sure beats my evenings," he teased.

"You can always try something new to spice things up," Octavia suggested.

"True," he admitted. "But, I don't have a roommate that would go with me to do these new things."

"You don't need someone else to be with you to try new things."

Jacen's shoulders sagged. "Yeah, but it makes it less depressing."

Octavia chewed her lip as she tried to think of a way to change the course of the conversation. She didn't want to upset him again by drumming up bad memories. "So, if going out is a struggle, what are some things that make you happy?"

Jacen opened his mouth but snapped it shut as he started drying off a dish. "I don't know; I guess the gym."

"Really? Just the gym?" Octavia scrunched up her nose. "Why?"

Jacen set the dish down as he stared blankly ahead. "Mmm, I think it's because it's the first thing I get to do for myself before my day starts. It's me time."

Octavia nodded in agreement. "We all need a little 'me' time."

"True," he affirmed before continuing. "But for me, it makes people much more tolerable, that the stupid stuff that occurs during the day doesn't bother me as much because I am too tired to care. That's probably why I try to kill myself every day at the gym to vent my frustrations before anyone can hear them."

Octavia's eyes went wide at the statement. "Why are you trying to kill yourself?"

Jacen rolled his eyes, letting out a small chuckle. "I'm not literally trying to kill myself. It's a saying, for 'I'm giving it all into my workout.'"

"I don't care for that saying," Octavia stated, curling her lip up.

"Noted," he said, giving her a glance. "I won't use it again."

"Okay," Octavia said, leaning back in the chair. "How often do you go to the gym?"

"Six days a week," he boasted.

"That's quite a lot."

"Not really," he defended. "How often do you practice your cello?"

"Five days a week if you don't count rehearsals or performances."

"See," Jacen stated, pointing at her. "And I can assume that you practice for a couple of hours, correct?"

"Correct."

"Then it shouldn't be that hard to believe when you do the same thing as me."

"However, my job depends on the quality of my performances which requires me to practice daily," she countered, folding her arms across her chest.

"Same with me!"

"Really now? How so?"

"The military has physical readiness standards that we need to meet, or we get kicked out. Granted, I do more than most, but that's because I need it. I'm probably the happiest when I can just plug in my tunes and tune out the world."

"Why is that?" Octavia asked, leaning forward as her brow furrowed.

Jacen sucked on his teeth as his eyes darted from side to side. "Umm... well... music helps me get centered if that makes sense. It helps me prepare for things that may occur throughout the day."

"Like what?"

Jacen shifted around as if he was stepping on something uncomfortable. "Umm, it's stuff. Don't you get the same feeling when you play your cello?" Jacen deflected quickly. "Like you're the happiest when it's just you and your cello making beautiful music?"

"Yeah," she answered hesitantly, wondering why he was deflecting. "But, I also feel that way when my roommate makes music."

"Oh, your roommate is a musician as well?"

"Yes, but her music is very different from mine. I used to find it tedious to listen to." Octavia's head fell as her eyes grew heavy. "But it wasn't until recently that I discovered how beautiful the music they made was."

"That sucks."

"Do you ever get the feeling that you have taken something for granted?" she asked steadily, fidgeting with her hands as she searched for the right words. "Like, you don't even consider something changing or you even changing. But then, it's gone in an instant, and you don't know if it will ever return to how it was before? I guess I'm asking, do you regret not taking full advantage of that time?"

"I think so," he answered, turning towards her. "When I lived in Pensacola, I had all the friends in the world. I had friends that I would go to bars with, I played video games and D&D with, and I played on a soccer team down there. I was out constantly after school and loved every minute of it. When I came up here, it all went away." Jacen's eyes became distant as a faint smile touched his lips. "If I had a wish, I wouldn't hesitate to return to when I was stationed in Florida."

"Sounded like you enjoyed you time there."

"Yeah," he replied as he returned to the present. "But, at least the memories of those times still make me happy."

"Yeah," Octavia said softly, leaning forward as she rested her head on her hands.

Silence hung in the air for a moment before the clanking of dishes broke the peace. Jacen picked up the clean plates and returned them to their spots in the cabinet before leaning onto the counter as he drummed his fingers.

"So after I eat, I usually shower before winding down for bed," he said awkwardly. "Do you prefer taking showers in the morning or evening?"

Octavia hadn't put much consideration into her hygiene with the events that had transpired. She wasn't outright filthy by any means, but a nice relaxing shower would help alleviate some of her stress. "I usually take evening showers."

"Great! I'll let you go first. By the way, are you okay with wearing some of my clothes? I promise that they're clean."

"Umm," Octavia muttered, comparing her much smaller frame to his. "That should be fine."

"Hopefully, I can find you something that somewhat fits," Jacen chuckled as he left for the bedroom.

She quickly scanned her outfit, noticing that her white blouse and simple purple vest still appeared clean. However, when she grabbed the hem of her pink skirt and stretched it out, seeing all the faint traces of dirt ingrained in the material. She wasn't sure where she'd picked up the stains until she recalled her first interaction with Jacen.

"Got them," Jacen announced, reemerging from the bedroom with the selected clothes in his hand. "Follow me; I'll tell you how to get the shower going."

Octavia followed Jacen to the bathroom and noticed he was acting as nervous as a butler on their first day. She found a strange comfort in knowing that he didn't entertain much. She had been so accustomed to events having everything meticulously planned out that Octavia almost forgot how nerve-racking it was for the host.

Jacen entered the bathroom setting the clothes on the counter. "There's a little ring around the facet that you pull down on to get it to switch to the shower. You would laugh at how long it took me to figure that out," he chuckled.

"Thank you," she said, giving him a warm smile.

"No worries," he replied, returning the smile. "If you need anything else, just ask."

After Jacen shut the door to the bathroom, Octavia waited a moment before removing the restrictive garments. Reaching in, she tested the water before adjusting the knobs to achieve the right temperature. Stepping into the shower, Octavia submerged herself as the hot water washed away all the grime and released all the tension in her body. Finally, she began to feel normal.

Basking in the warmth, Octavia wanted the water to relieve her stress, offering her a few moments of solace before returning to reality. As the humidity wrapped around her, she couldn't help but feel the lack of another familiar embrace. She couldn't remember the last time she'd showered without Vinyl. A smile creased her lips as Octavia recalled the passionate night that established this habit. It started as a desire to be closer but evolved into a staple event in their relationship. When others heard about their unique routine, ponies would always assume something promiscuous was happening, but that was rarely the case. Most of the time, they enjoyed each other's company making mundane tasks quality time.

Octavia grabbed the only two bottles in the shower, flipping them over to their labels. "Why would they need a shampoo specifically for their head and shoulders?"

Octavia shrugged, putting the other red bottle back. Flipping the shampoo around in her hand, Octavia tried to determine how she was supposed to get the product out since all the soap dispensers in Equestria used pumps. Octavia scratched at it with her claws until she caught the edge of the lid. Pulling the cap up, she squeezed it slightly, allowing her to get a good whiff of the scent.

"Oh, that's pleasant," she remarked, squeezing a generous amount into her hand.

Applying the product to her mane and shoulders, Octavia remembered how agitated she would get with Vinyl after she had left the shower. Her marefriend would spend five minutes drying off and the other ten teasing her about how long she spent in the bathroom. Even though Vinyl had a lovely mane and tail, it was nowhere near as long and voluminous as Octavia's. The part Octavia hated the most was how it took forever to get all the shampoo and conditioner out of her hair. However, removing all the product with her new thinner mane was not as tedious, and her new hooves made the process much easier.

She ran her claws through her mane to ensure her hair wasn't harboring any traces of shampoo. Octavia grabbed the bottle and poured another generous amount into her hand. She reached back to apply it to her. Octavia felt her heart sink as her hands grasped the air where her tail would have been. Octavia was as prideful in the maintenance of her tail as she was in her mane; it completed her.

"Another wonderful change," Octavia said bitterly, rinsing off the excess product from her hand.

Octavia used the familiar pump from the red bottle to wash her body with the muskier soap. Turning off the water, she stepped out of the tub and dried off her body. Octavia wrapped the towel around her before searching the usual places for a comb. Opening the two drawers revealed spare toiletries like toothbrushes and toothpaste. However, digging through its contents, she could not locate a comb. How did he not have a comb? Shouldn't that have been a standard item found in every bathroom, like hoof files and clippers?

Octavia let out a frustrated sigh as she turned her head to the side to let her mane fully straighten out. Reluctantly she ran her claws through her hair, doing her best to remove all the tangles. It wasn't as good as a comb, but it still accomplished the task, more or less. Thinking about it, this would have been an impossible endeavor if she still had hooves instead of hands.

Feeling satisfied that they were removed, she wrapped her mane in the towel, enjoying how much lighter it was compared to the old one. Opening the bathroom door, Octavia felt the cool rush of air assault her body reflexively, wrapping her forelegs around herself. Why in Tartarus was she so cold?

"The clothes!" She hissed before slamming the door.

Struggling to get the shirt over the towel, Octavia let out a frustrated sigh as she undid the wrap and let her mane touch her body, reigniting the cold sensation. Promptly putting on the shirt and shorts, Octavia felt the hint of warmth returning to her body. Looking at herself in the mirror, she noticed how his shirt could be mistaken for a poorly fitted dress as it hit her mid-thigh. But to her surprise, the shorts fit relatively comfortably after she tied off the drawstring.

"Everything okay in there?"

"Yes." Octavia emerged from the bathroom. "I'm fine."

"Good, how do you feel?"

"Much better." She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you again."

"No worries. Let me take a shower real quick." Jacen hastily went to the bedroom before heading to the bathroom and shutting the door.

Octavia took a comfortable position on the couch as she heard the water running in the background. She pulled her knees to her chest, adjusting the excess material to hide her body under the tarp Jacen called a shirt. It wasn't as comfortable as Vinyl's hoodie and long socks, but it made her feel warm.

"Done," Jacen declared, emerging from the bathroom.

Octavia whipped her head around to see Jacen exiting the bathroom, wearing a spare shirt and shorts. "How did you shower so fast?" She asked in disbelief that he had adequately washed his body and dried himself.

"Yeah, that's another thing the navy streamlined for me," Jacen joked. "Our drill instructors only gave us twenty minutes for all sixty of us to shower. So you learn quickly how to maximize your time."

"Don't you enjoy relaxing in the shower?" Octavia watched as Jacen walked over to join her on the couch.

"Sometimes." Jacen leaned over to retrieve a small black wand. "Most of the time, I'm in and out so I can do other things."

"Like what?"

"Like watching TV." Jacen pointed in the direction of the mirror fixed on the wall. "Would you like to join me?"

Octavia's eyes shifted between Jacen and their reflection. "Sure."

"Cool." Jacen pointed towards the mirror, causing it to illuminate with pictures. "I think I know a movie you might enjoy."

Octavia's eyes went wide. "What is this?"

"A television?" He answered suspiciously. "Don't tell me you've never seen a TV before?"

Octavia shook her head. "We have movie theaters where I live, but we don't have small ones like this."

"How?" He asked in annoyance. "TV's are everywhere and they have been around for a minute."

"Movie theaters are a relatively new thing where I live," she defended. "You don't have to be so condescending."

Jacen let out a heavy sigh. "Sorry, I'm just trying to understand better where you're from."

Octavia rested her chin on her folded arms. "Well, you're doing a terrible job at it."

She could feel Jacen's eyes fixed on her as she continued to hold her gaze on the TV. It flashed to life with vibrant pictures that started to move quickly across the screen. "Wow, it's so clear!"

"Umm yeah, it's not movie theater quality, but it gets the job done." Jacen continued to click the device, causing images to transition through the screen before it went black rapidly.

"What happened?" Octavia frustratedly asked.

"It didn't like the way you were looking at it," he joked, flashing a smile in her direction. "I just selected the movie; give it a second."

Octavia harrumphed, returning her attention to the tv.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...

Then triumphant fanfare erupted from the box, causing Octavia to jump as Star Wars boldly displayed against the black backdrop. A shiver raced down her spine as the brass section repeated the melody causing the faint traces of hair on her arm to stand on edge. It was bold, brash, and triumphant, and Octavia loved it.

Octavia felt her hand sway like a conductor as the crisp marching drums kicked in. Then the aria changed as the string section came in, giving it a more heavenly tone. She closed her eyes as the music called for her to embark on an epic journey as the brass section did a slow build to the main melody.

"This is brilliant!" She exclaimed as her heart pounded in her chest.

"Yeah, Star Wars has the most recognizable score in cinema history," Jacen stated.

Octavia pulled her legs in tight as she rested her chin on her knees, ready to be enraptured as the strings began trailing off. The energy that had swelled in her chest began to die off as the camera panned down to a brownish planet. Just before Octavia could voice her displeasure, a blast from the brass instruments followed by sounds of explosions colored the scene. "What's happening?"

"The Empire is chasing down a rebel ship." Jacen pointed to the screen, indicating which was which.

"Why?" She questioned, glancing over at him.

"Because they stole the plans to the Death Star," he replied with a faint smile.

Octavia turned back to the tv to see people in dark and light blue uniforms donning weird helmets taking up positions along a hallway. "What are they doing?"

"Just wait, this is the best part."

Octavia was glued to the screen as it focused on a door before it erupted into flames, followed by people dressed in Jacen's costume. The sounds of somepony striking a metal wire filled the room. "What's happening now?"

"They're fighting," Jacen pointed out. "The guys in blue are defending the ship while the people in white are trying to capture it."

"It's so violent immediately..." Octavia somberly stated.

"What?" Jacen asked worriedly, turning his head towards her.

"Do you enjoy watching such displays?" Octavia asked in concern, looking back at him.

"Depends on your definition of violence," he deflected. "I enjoy watching the conflict, and this does a pretty good job of keeping the 'violence' tame. Trust me; there is way worse stuff than this."

Octavia's chest became heavy as the thoughts of Cadence's wedding came to mind. "Why would people want to watch such things?"

"I don't know," he said uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck. "Some people enjoy the shock factor, if I was to guess. But if you look at it from a fundamental psychological level, all people want conflict; that is what keeps us interested. The degree to which the conflict is portrayed is an entirely different matter."

Octavia paused for a moment. "Like having an argument versus a physical confrontation."

"Exactly!" Jacen pointed a claw in her direction.

"I enjoy a blend of both, but I tend to shy away from excess violence because of being in the military," Jacen said, settling back into his spot. "I already learn about enough negative stuff, so I don't necessarily want to continue watching it at home."

"We don't have to watch this," Jacen said sadly. "I can always find something else."

Octavia caught a glimpse of Jacen's shoulders sagging. "It's okay. I want to know why you like this so much."

"Thanks, but you honestly don't have to."

Octavia turned her attention to the TV as she continued studying the events unfolding on screen. "Are they holding cannons?"

"Close. They're called blasters." Jacen leaned forward, pointing to the objects in their hands. "They're fictitious weapons that shoot superheated gas that creates the red bolt you see."

Octavia started to put the pieces together. "You dress up as the bad people?"

"Yeah, you can say that."

Octavia scrunched her face at the thought of being associated with the story's villains. "That sounds like a terrible idea."

"It's not that bad," he countered. "When we go out and do events or go to hospitals, people are excited to see us, especially kids. Because they see what they watch on the TV in real life, it completely makes their day, it makes me happy, and I love that feeling. That's why our slogan is 'Bad guys doing good.'"

Octavia noticed Jacen having a genuine smile on his lips as he was thinking of something. Then it caught her attention. "Wait, you said the only thing that made you happy was the gym.

Jacen snapped out of whatever he was thinking about, drawing his hand to the side of his chin. "Yeah, I guess that slipped my mind."

"Interesting how something that makes you happy slips your mind."

"Well, it's because I don't get to do it as much as I would like to. The Navy tends to ruin plans on the regular."

Octavia knew that sentiment all too well, as Vinyl's contracts or her performance would always cause them to miss each other. Regret churned in her chest as she chastised herself for not taking advantage of every chance to spend with her marefriend. She was so naive to think that Vinyl would always be right by her side. Octavia buried her face into her knees, blinking away the tears that were betraying her.

Returning to the movie, Octavia noticed a dynamic change in the music as slower elongated notes began to play, causing a cold chill to run up her spine. As the smoke began to clear, a dark menacing figure appeared in the doorway, easily dwarfing the people surrounding it. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the Tartarus-inspired features as the being looked around with the black void it called eyes.

"Who's that?" Octavia asked, eternally grateful that Jacen did not have that in his home.

"Darth Vader. He's the leader of this group."

Octavia studied the individual encased in a black suit as the room filled with mechanical air, being forced through something. "Why does he breathe like that?" Octavia asked as trepidation filled her mind at the thought of Jacen having that tucked away in a closet, waiting for her to find it.

"It's because the suit that he is wearing is keeping him alive."

"What happened to him?"

"He's missing both his legs, arms, and the rest of him was burned to a crisp."

Octavia sharply turned her head as her eyes went wide. "How is he alive?"

"Plot armor," Jacen joked, glancing over to see Octavia's brow furrowed. "It's a joke," he defended, which furthered her confusion. "It's to explain why the characters can do certain things that the writing does not present or is poorly constructed. But the in-universe answer is that he was able to keep himself alive due to his hate, the force, and the medical advancements they have."

"How does hate and whatever the force is keeping him alive?"

"Ooof, I don't think you want me to go that deep unless you want me to drone on for hours about Star Wars lore," he joked. "But, to answer your question in the simplest of terms, it's this universe's version of magic. You know what magic is?"

"Of course," she stated bitterly, remembering how 'magic' got her into this predicament. "Do you have the force?"

Jacen erupted into a fit of laughter. "No, we have nothing like that here."

"You didn't need to laugh that hard," Octavia bit back.

"I'm sorry," Jacen chuckled, wiping a tear away from his eye. "But no, we don't have the force."

"Do you have anything like that?"

Jacen turned with his brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Like magic?" Octavia asked hesitantly, fearing the answer.

"Umm, no," He said flatly. "Unless you consider magicians magic, but you should know that those are all misdirections and illusions and not like the stuff you see on TV.

No magic? That was impossible. There had to be magic. How else had she gotten here? Octavia felt like somepony had just bucked her in the barrel as her insides collapsed. Her vision became blurry as her head started to spin out of control. No, no, no, this couldn't be happening. She was supposed to be in Canterlot teaching, not sitting on a couch with a strange creature watching a violent movie about space wizards. This is not how she had planned her life to go, not without Vinyl.

"Octavia, are you okay?" Jacen softly asked.

She buried her face into her knees, biting down on her tongue as the hopelessness of the situation churned her stomach. How was she going to get home now? Trepidation at the answer caused bile to form at the back of her throat. She was always the pony with the plan, who had it all figured out, but this was too much.

"I didn't mean to offend you."

Squeezing her legs tight, she forced down the acidic concoction swimming in her mouth. She needed to be the strong mare that everypony saw her as, but she couldn't. Vinyl was the foundation she had built herself upon and the thought of her no longer existing was unthinkable.

"Octavia..."

"You're fine, Jacen," she said as the raspiness of her voice caught her by surprise.

"Really, we can watch something else if this is upsetting you," he suggested tepidly. "I know Star Wars isn't everyone's cup of tea."

"It's fine," she replied, rubbing her eyes on the shirt to remove the moisture from her eyes. "I just have a lot on my mind."

Octavia could hear Jacen settling back into his spot as the movie resumed playing. It was all a haze at this point to Octavia; even if she were watching Hinny of the Hills, it would not make her feel better. Octavia had nopony to blame but herself. All she had to do was keep her hooves to herself, and they would be in their new home in Canterlot.

Octavia ran scenario after scenario in her head with what Vinyl would say to her. How disappointed she was with Octavia, how she had ruined their chance for a perfect life. Her chest grew tighter as Octavia remembered that she had failed to tell Vinyl "I love you" before heading to the castle.

She turned her head, letting the cool air touch her wet cheeks. As the movie continued to play in the background, Octavia tried to wrap her mind around what to do next. Unable to formulate any plans, Octavia heard a strange puffing sound next to her. Lifting her head toward the sound, she spotted Jacen stretched out on the couch with his hand propping up his head. She leaned forward to get a better angle to see if...

"He's asleep?" She whispered in disbelief as Jacen let out another puff of air.

She stood up immediately, fuming at the sight. She was over here trying to grasp what fragments she had of her reality, and he just passed out without a care in the world. It took every ounce of restraint not to buck him in his stupid face.

"No, no, no," she whispered, pressing her claws against her nose. "This is not his fault."

Octavia took a deep breath, clearing the dark thoughts from her head. The best thing for her to do right now would be to go to bed and reassess in the morning. Letting out another long breath to reaffirm she was making the right decision, she headed to the bedroom before realizing the TV was still on.

"Probably need to turn that off."

Octavia picked up the little wand and noted the vast array of colorful buttons covering one side. She hastily set the object down next to Jacen, fearing that she would do something wrong. Hopefully, he could sleep with the TV on.

Her eyes lingered on Jacen as he let out another puff of air. It was the first time Octavia had experienced this, as Vinyl would occasionally pass out at her booth due to sheer exhaustion while creating a new song. However, Jacen would be impossible to carry to bed, unlike Vinyl, even if she retained her earth pony strength. Finding a blanket draped on the back of the couch, she covered him to the best of her ability.

Heading to the bedroom, Octavia saw that he had changed the linens and made them like they would be in a hotel, excluding the little mint or chocolate on the pillow. Sliding under the sheets, Octavia started to feel comfortable as she tucked herself into bed, almost.

Author's Note

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section.

Hiraeth of a Mare
View Online

Harmonic Cognition

Hiraeth of a Mare

Octavia trotted down the street after finishing practice with her quartet group. It was their second to last rehearsal before the concert, so Octavia assumed they just needed to clean up a few sections, but no. Morenda had taken five steps back since their last session, and because she played the bass, she was pivotal in keeping the group on tempo. She let out a heavy sigh; it was the icing on the terrible cake, and the cherry on top was that it had pushed back her evening plans with Vinyl.

Octavia glanced up at the fading sun. "I hope Vinyl isn't too mad at me." Picking up the pace, Octavia returned to their apartment with a couple of minutes to spare.

"I'm so sorry, Vinyl!" Octavia apologized as she hastily made her way through the door. "We should have been done way earlier, but somepony couldn't keep tempo to save their life. Buy a metronome, for Celestia's sake!"

Octavia waited for a response, but none came. "Vinyl?"

As she listened for the presence of her marefriend, Octavia slowly stepped further into the apartment. The eerie silence sent her nerves on edge Vinyl should have been home since her class ended at twelve. Scanning the apartment, Octavia had an uneasy sensation crawl up her spine.

"Vinyl, you better not..."

"BOO!"

The unicorn jumped out from behind her sending Octavia into the air as her heart slammed against her ribcage. Octavia reflexively bucked her hind legs, trying to catch the would-be assailant unaware. She wasn't going down without a fight.

"Whoa!" Vinyl cried out, dunking from the incoming strike. "Easy, Tavi, it's just me!"

"I know!"

"Somepony's feisty," Vinyl teased.

Octavia spun around, still on edge, to see the DJ laughing against the wall. "You know I hate that."

"But it's so much fun!" She teased, bouncing up to her hooves. "Plus, you were super close to putting another hole in the wall."

Octavia rolled her eyes as she brushed the errant strains of her mane back to settle down. "That would have been your fault."

"Pffft." Vinyl waved a dismissive hoof. "I've gotten so good at repairing drywall the landlord would've never known."

Octavia let out a heavy sigh as she propped her cello case in the corner. "You make it seem like I do it all the time."

"I'm just messing with you." Vinyl made her way over and nudged Octavia's shoulder.

Octavia couldn't help but notice that Vinyl looked like she was about ready to burst. "What has you in such a good mood?"

"It's me! It's me! They. Picked. Me!"

She watched in confusion as Vinyl bounced up and down.

"Picked you for what?"

"You remember that study abroad program I thought about applying for way back?" Vinyl returned to the ground, placing her hooves on Octavia's shoulders. "Well, I did it and got selected!"

"That's wonderful!" Octavia wrapped her marefriend in a firm embrace. "I'm so proud of you, Vinyl!"

They remained locked in a deep embrace as the week's stress melted away. "So when do you leave?"

"In a couple of weeks," Vinyl said, trying to reign in her excitement. "Nothing like this ever happens to me."

"You deserve it," she cooed, stroking Vinyl's mane.

"Thanks for making me take that musical theories course." Vinyl tightened her grip. "I would have never listened to things outside of what I liked, and now I get to travel Equestria and experience first hoof!"

"I want what's best for you, and I'm happy that you're finally opening yourself up to other styles of music."

"So, does that mean you'll come to the club to watch me perform?" Vinyl asked, pulling back.

"Maybe," Octavia said softly, bopping Vinyl on the nose.

"Ugh," Vinyl moaned, rolling her head back. "You always say that."

"That's because clubs are the last place I want to be. I much rather enjoy your music from our apartment than a loud, dingy club where pony's have zero sensibility about personal space."

"Fine," Vinyl conceded as her ears went flat.

"Vinyl, it's just not my cup of tea, and you know that."

"I know," she admitted, sitting on the couch. "I just wish you'd go with me at least once."

"I will, I promise!"

Vinyl glanced up. "Hoof to heart?"

Octavia smiled brightly at her marefriend. "Hoof to heart."

Vinyl smiled as the joy returned to her eyes.

"So, how long will you be gone?" Octavia asked; she tried to recall Vinyl talking about it, but that was months ago, and Vinyl hadn't brought it up since.

"Umm," Vinyl muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. "That's the hard part."

Octavia's brow furrowed as Vinyl began to click her hooves nervously. "Why?"

Vinyl let out a long breath. "I will be gone for a year."

"What?" she blurted out as her heart fell into her stomach. "A whole year? Vinyl, we've only been dating for four months and..."

"I know!" Vinyl cut her off. "I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Yes!" She exclaimed, frustrated that Vinyl would hide something from her. "That is a significant detail!"

"I was worried that you would have said no," Vinyl confessed. "I honestly didn't think I would be selected, if that makes it any better."

"No!" She shouted as her emotions started to get the best of her. How was she going to manage without her for an entire year? Of course, she had classes and some friends outside of Vinyl.

"Tavi."

She would need to figure out what to do when she got back to the apartment to keep her mind occupied. Should she take up a new hobby?

"Tavi!"

She could always do some tutoring sessions for some of the foals. It wouldn't hurt to get some more bits, plus it would eat up more of her downtime.

"Octavia!"

"What?" She snapped, still trying to come to terms with Vinyl leaving her.

"Are you okay?" Vinyl asked, clicking her hooves together.

Octavia rolled her eyes as she stopped pacing. "What do you think?"

Vinyl's shoulders sagged as her ears went flat. "You're mad at me."

"No... yes..." Octavia shook her head. "I don't know. It's just a lot to take in."

"I know," Vinyl conceded, her eyes fixed on the ground. "I still haven't fully processed it either."

Octavia looked at the ground as she fidgeted with the polished floorboard. "I'm not ready for you to leave."

Vinyl chewed on her lower lip. "I know."

Octavia glanced up at her marefriend, causing her anger to subside. She was being an idiot. Why was she doing this to her? Vinyl was excited about something outside of DJing, and she was taking away all that joy. Her stomach twisted into knots as she looked at Vinyl's defeated demeanor.

Octavia slowly climbed onto the couch next to her, resting her head on Vinyl's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said softly, wrapping her forelegs around Vinyl's barrel. "All I've done is make it about me when I should be happy for you."

Vinyl gave her a small smile as she returned the gesture. "It's okay. I had a feeling that this would happen."

Octavia nuzzled into Vinyl's neck. "What are you going to do on your trip?"

"So much!" Octavia smiled as the joy returned to her marefriends voice. "It's a pilot program that sends us all across Equestria to experience different types of music."

"That sounds amazing," Octavia whispered as a tinge of envy crept into her mind.

"I'm really stoked for Germaney, though. I heard the underground club scene there is supposed to be unparalleled to anything found here in Canterlot. Hopefully, I can get an opportunity to sneak away since that is not one of the scheduled stops."

Octavia tightened her grip as Vinyl continued about the different electronic music styles. Then a dark thought entered her head, causing her heart to stop. "What happens when you leave me?"

Vinyl's eyes went wide. "What?"

"What happens if you meet another stallion or mare better looking than me?" She blurted out as anxiety coursed through her veins.

"What makes you think that?" Vinyl asked nervously, rubbing her back.

Images of Vinyl with other ponies paraded through her mind; each instant of Vinyl smiling lovingly at another pony sent her heart further into the void. She quickly retreated, pulling her hindlegs up as she buried her face into them. She prayed, pleaded, and begged for her mind to stop, but they kept coming like waves crashing against the beach.

Why was she thinking these thoughts? She trusted Vinyl more than any other pony. They had even discussed their past relationships; even though Vinyl significantly outnumbered hers, Octavia should be okay with it. Vinyl was her marefriend, but why was the pain there? Why now?

Octavia felt Vinyl rubbing her shoulders. "Talk to me."

"What if you meet somepony else?" She asked sadly, keeping her face buried in her legs. "What happens if you hit it off with them?"

"That won't..."

"What happens if they enjoy the same music and want to join clubs with you?" She cut herself off as her emotions took hold of her tongue. "What makes you want to stay with me?"

"You're not making sense."

Octavia looked up as tears stung her eyes. "What happens if you forget about me?"

"Wha..." Vinyl stuttered as panic filled her eyes. "What makes you think that I would forget about you?"

"Come on!" Octavia cried as she searched Vinyl's face for understanding. "We're the complete opposites; we enjoy entirely different styles of music, have different definitions of cleanliness, and have difficulty appreciating the things we love the most."

Octavia could feel Vinyl's hoof drift from her back, causing tears to flood down her cheeks.

"That's true," Vinyl admitted with a heavy sigh. "And I have been with other ponies that have more in common with me than you do."

Octavia's body went numb as she rested her cheek on her knees, dumbfounded by Vinyl's statement. Was this Vinyl's attempt at making her feel better? Her mind went blank as she stared at the DJ's sorrowful eyes.

"But those differences we have to make me want to be with you more," Vinyl said softly, returning a hoof to her back. "They didn't challenge me or make me see things from a different perspective as you do."

Octavia slumped over to rest on Vinyl's chest as the cacophony of emotions took its toll. Closing her eyes, she Could feel Vinyl's hoof running through her mane as life gradually returned to her body.

"Every day you challenge me to be a better version of myself, and even if I fail, you're there to pick me up to tell me to keep going." Vinyl wrapped her forelegs around her. "Just being with you has made me a better pony, so why would I give that up?"

"I know," Octavia answered weakly. "These thoughts just came out of nowhere and won't stop!" Octavia looked up at her. "I hope you're not mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you for telling me what's scaring you?" Vinyl reached under Octavia's chin and lifted it. "It hurts to see you hurting like this, but trust me, I would never do that to you," Vinyl said sweetly as her eyes resonated with understanding. "You're my everything."

"I trust you more than anything." Octavia nuzzled into Vinyl's neck as the DJ's scent calmed her heartache. "I'm sorry for being a terrible marefriend."

Vinyl gave her a peck on the forehead. "We're going to get through this."

"How can you be so sure?" Octavia asked as she wrapped her legs around the white mare, fearing to let go.

"Because I..." Vinyl paused for a moment causing Octavia to lift her head.

"Because I love you."

"What?" Octavia whispered, wiping her eyes with a hoof.

"I love you," she said quickly, fighting to hide the pain in her expression.

Octavia was stunned as she gazed at her marefriend. "You hate sentimentality."

"I know."

"You said all the stupid little gifts that ponies give are a waste of bits."

"I know."

"Or how buying cards and flowers are a waste of time because you're letting your bits do the talking rather than you."

"I know!"

"And you never want to..."

"I remember what I said! Sweet Celestia, I'm trying to have a moment!"

Guilt began to stir in her head as Vinyl shifted her gaze as frustration crept into her expression.

"This is why I hate doing..."

Octavia pressed her lips into Vinyl's, silencing the rest of her thoughts.

"Thank you," Octavia whispered before giving her another kiss.

"You only get one, Tavi," Vinyl teased, touching her nose to Octavia's.

"It was worth it," Octavia whispered, resting her head on Vinyl's chest.

"We're going to get through this year like it's nothing."

"I know," Octavia admitted sadly, savoring her marefriends embrace. "I just wish it was over already."

Vinyl let out a chuckle as she released her. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that? Plus, think about how bad you will miss me and how great it will feel when we're back together."

"True," Octavia softly said as the feeling of separation churned her stomach.

Vinyl's vibrant maroon eyes locked with hers as a radiant smile spread across her lips. "You're the only pony... clank..."

Octavia stirred as another loud clang came from the other room. Keeping her eyes closed, she prayed that whoever made that racket would cease. Another clang sent her eyes wide open. Rolling onto her back, Octavia felt the malaise take hold of her body. Why was she feeling like this? Vinyl had graced her dreams, so she should be happy. The more she thought about it, a feeling of loneliness clawed its way to her forethought as hopelessness followed suit.

"No magic," she whispered as a sinking feeling in her heart became known.

Octavia curled into a ball as the dreams and memories of Vinyl were the only things to give her comfort, but those would soon fade, just like the prospects of going home. Something hit her as she lay there replaying the last moments with her marefriend.

You never told Vinyl that you loved her before leaving.

The malaise flared up as she realized that the last thing they talked about was Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie, for Celestia's sake! It wasn't even about them, and Octavia didn't tell her bye; she just waved to her. Before she could dwell on that factor more, the sound of metal objects slamming together stifled the thought.

Octavia groaned before turning to see the sun barely peeking through the blinds. "Who has the audacity to make such a commotion at this hour?"

Flipping the covers off her caused the malaise to return as the cold air rushed to her skin.

You're a terrible marefriend.

Octavia swung her legs over the edge despite the protest from her body.

You didn't even hug her when she took the time out of her day to walk with you.

A jolt of pain shot up her leg as her feet hit the cold ground.

Now you'll never get to see her again, and the last thing she will remember is you just waving goodbye. No embrace, no "I love you," just an empty wave.

Octavia pressed her hands into her eyes. Octavia knew with all her heart that Vinyl knew she loved her even though she didn't tell her. It couldn't end like this. There had to be a way home. As Octavia sat on the edge of the bed, the grating sound of scraping metal broke her concentration. She stood up and hastily went to the door to give Jacen a piece of her mind.

As she swung the door open with all the authority she could muster, Octavia spotted Jacen at the stove cooking something. Taking a few cautionary steps out of the bedroom, she noticed Jacen's shirt appeared damp. Octavia couldn't hear any rain patting against the window.

"Jacen," she called out, taking a couple of steps forward.

Jacen was unphased, bobbing his head as if listening to music, but the apartment was quiet. Getting closer, Octavia noticed small white circles protruding from his ear as he sang silently to himself. Hesitantly tapping him on the shoulder Octavia's lip curled as she wiped off the moisture from his shirt.

Jacen whipped his head around as his eyes went wide for a second. "Hey, Octavia. Whoa, you look rough," Jacen stated bluntly, quickly removing the white objects from his ears.

"I thought I was sleeping pretty well until I woke up," she replied groggily, reflexively running her claws through her mane.

"Could have fooled me," he teased, returning to the pan momentarily before his eyes flashed open. "Was I being too loud?"

"Yes," she answered, glaring at the pan in his hand.

"My bad," he apologized. "I'm so used to no one being here that I forget how loud I can be in the morning."

"Let's remind ourselves to be more cognizant of such things in the future then," she instructed, still annoyed about how she woke up.

"Noted." Jacen turned back to the pan, scraping at the yellow contents with a spatula.

As Jacen returned his attention to the pan, Octavia noticed something on the tip of one of his claws. "What happened there?"

"Oh," he muttered, lifting the appendage in question. "I wasn't paying attention at the gym this morning, and I dropped a weight on my finger. Luckily all it did was pinch the skin enough to make it bleed."

"Are you okay?" She asked reflexively rubbing her hands together.

"I'm fine. I just need to pay more attention to what I'm doing," Jacen said, moving the bandaged finger. "Plus, breakfast is almost ready, so perfect timing."

As Octavia lingered for a moment, a familiar smell caught her attention. "Eggs?"

"Yup!" Jacen affirmed proudly, puffing out his chest. "This is by far my favorite meal of the day. I didn't know your take on eggs, so I decided to make you some."

"Oh, I do," she said as the aromas wafted around her nose, causing it to water.

"That's good," he said with relief, causing his shoulders to relax. "I also added spinach, mushrooms, cheese, red and green peppers. Hope you like your eggs scrambled."

Octavia gave him a warm smile. "Scrambled is fine with me."

"Perfect." Jacen turned a knob causing the flame to extinguish. "Why don't you take a seat? It's almost ready."

Octavia nodded as she walked over to the table and sat down. As she adjusted, she noticed Jacen had already put out a fork and napkin for her. Octavia's lips curled into a smile at Jacen's efforts to be a better host. Before she could praise him, a plate entered her field of view.

"Here you go."

Jacen set the steaming pile of fluffy eggs in front of her before taking his seat across the table. Since she was not ravished by hunger Octavia took her time by placing the napkin on her lap and delicately taking the fork in her hand. She could feel Jacen's eyes studying her movements as if she was back at cotillion school.

"Something the matter?" She asked sharply, causing Jacen's eyes to drift back to his plate.

"Sorry, something just caught my attention."

"What?"

"It's the way that you hold your fork."

Octavia's cheeks became flush. "Is there something wrong with the way I'm holding it?"

"Oh no," he quickly said before taking a bite of his breakfast. "I find it fascinating how people from the UK hold their forks differently from those in America."

Octavia glanced down at the utensils in her hand. "How so?"

"If you look at your fork, the prongs are angled down, which allows you to stab at your food." Jacen swallowed his food before lifting his hand. "Then the way I hold it allows me to scoop the food," he pointed out, giving a quick demonstration.

"Huh," Octavia muttered. "I just held it this way because it felt natural."

Jacen took another bite of food. "It's just something I noticed in my travels."

The rage-inducing smacking of Jacen's mouth caused her to grit her teeth. Didn't his parents teach him proper manners?

Octavia looked up at him. "May I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do Americans always talk with food in their mouths?" Octavia asked, calling out the disgusting behavior.

Jacen hastily swallowed his food as his cheeks flushed. "No."

Octavia straightened herself in her chair. "Then one should not do so, especially in the presence of a proper mare."

Jacen's brow creased. "You mean lady?"

"Yes, I misspoke." She shrank back slightly. "Nevertheless, you will use proper etiquette when we are eating."

"Okay," he agreed hesitantly before taking another bite of food.

"Good." Octavia took a bite of her eggs, causing her eyes to go wide. "These are delicious," she praised, placing her hand in front of her mouth.

"Now look who's not using 'proper etiquette,'" Jacen teased as he narrowed his eyes.

She rolled her eyes, swallowing the food. "You caught me, but they're surprisingly delectable. Dare I say, restaurant quality."

Jacen sat straighter in his chair as a faint smile creased his lips. "Oh, it's nothing."

Octavia took another healthier bite as the savory flavors burst into her mouth. "Such a brazen liar."

"What do you mean?"

"You said you weren't a cook, yet here I am eating a delightful breakfast." Taking another bite of food, noting how the salter ingredients paired nicely with the eggs giving it a more robust flavor.

Jacen's smile broadened. "I cook them every day, so I have some practice."

The pair ate in silence; Octavia couldn't remember the last time she had a home-cooked meal. Most of the time, they went out to eat, or when Vinyl was working through the night, she would pick something up on the way home.

"So." Jacen cleared his throat, setting his fork on the plate. "Have you thought about going home?" Octavia's brow creased as her eyes narrowed at the statement.

"I'm not trying to kick you out," he clarified, putting his hands up submissively. "I'm assuming that you're ready to go home."

Octavia fell back into her chair as the malaise from earlier returned, not at all ready to have this conversation. "I am."

"Awesome!" Jacen said a little too excitedly for Octavia's liking. "What do I need to do?"

"Nothing," Octavia said defeatedly.

She watched as Jacen's face scrunched up in confusion. "I'm not tracking."

"There's nothing you can do," Octavia ground out, hinting that she didn't want to continue.

"I can do plenty," He stated, still cheerfully pressing the issue. "First. Where do you live exactly?"

Octavia winced as she looked at the dirty fork in her hand.

"Don't you know where you live?"

Octavia tossed her fork onto the dirty plate. "Yes, but it's complicated."

"How is it complicated?" Jacen eyed her suspiciously. "Did you get kicked out of your house?"

"No," she answered flatly.

A war raged inside her mind between telling him the truth and keeping him in the dark. Jacen's stories of how violent people were lopped in her mind as the statue of the subjugation of ponies forever immortalized in her consciousness. Letting out a heavy sigh, she needed to protect Equestria and Vinyl from them, even if it meant her being trapped here forever.

"Then what is it?"

"It's complicated," she defended, folding her arms across her chest.

Jacen placed his elbows on the table, rubbing his temples. "Couldn't you call your roommate? She probably knows you're missing or something."

The thought of Vinyl sent daggers through her heart. "I have no way of reaching them."

Jacen quickly dug through his pockets. "Here's my phone."

Sliding the black mirror over to her, Octavia gave one look at it before sliding it back over to Jacen. "It won't work."

"Why not?" He frustratedly asked, splaying his arms out in front of him.

"For a number of reasons that I don't want to get into right now."

Jacen retracted his arms off the table as he leaned back into the chair. "Don't you want to go home?"

"Terribly!" She answered, her mind pleading with her to tell him everything. "More than you know."

"Then let me help you." His concerned eyes fixed on hers.

Octavia's eyes shifted to her empty plate. "I wish you could."

"Let me try."

"You can't."

"Why not?" He asked as frustration and annoyance formed on his face.

Octavia hung her head in defeat. "Because... it's complicated."

"How?" He asked sharply, sitting on the edge of his chair. "Like, is it a passport thing? Not being able to afford a plane ticket, what is it?"

Octavia averted her eyes from his. "It's not a question of cost."

Jacen slammed his hand on the table, causing Octavia to jump. "Why're you being so difficult?"

"Why're you being so aggressive?" Octavia bit back.

He let out a frustrated sigh. "Because I'm trying to help, and it feels like you're just blowing me off."

"But I'm not!" She defended, leaning forward in her chair.

"Yes, you are!" He pointed an accusatory finger in her direction. "You're giving me vague answers or saying, 'it's complicated to everything else."

"Because it is!" She countered, rising to the edge of her seat.

Jacen stood up abruptly, collecting his dishes from the table. "Fine, you do you!"

"Where are you going?" She asked sharply.

Jacen didn't answer as he collected her dishes and placed them in the sink.

"Jacen!"

"I'm going to take a shower, Jesus," he bit back, refusing to look at her.

Octavia leaned back into her chair, folding her arms across her chest and turning her head away. "Fine!"

He glanced at her causing his shoulders to sag. "I'm just trying to help you, Octavia."

Octavia felt her anger deflate as Jacen turned and headed for the bathroom. The tinge of pain from his statement made it hard for her to remain mad at him. He tried to help her, but she couldn't risk telling him anything.

Hearing the water running, Octavia leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. She tried to imagine what she would do if the roles were reversed. The total made her heart sink as Octavia tallied all the information provided to him compared to what he offered her. Based on that, Octavia knew that she would have asked the individual to leave her house because she didn't know anything about them. However, Jacen still let her stay even though he knew nothing about her.

As the shower stopped, Octavia sat up in her chair. She needed to tell him something so he could understand the predicament that she was in without revealing too much about where she came from. Ideas raced through her head on what to say and what not to say. There had to be something safely innocuous.

"Jacen."

"Yes," he said a little too sharply for Octavia's liking.

Swallowing the urge to snap at him, she let out a calming breath. "Can we talk for a second?"

"Okay," he replied, tossing his dirty clothes into a bin just inside his bedroom. "And done."

Octavia scrunched her face up. "What?"

"You said, 'can we talk for a second?' A second has passed, so I was just letting you know."

Octavia clamped down on her tongue, folding her arms across her chest. Why was he such a foal? "Real mature, Jacen."

"Coming from the girl who can't be upfront with me about what's going on," he bit back, giving her a side-eye.

"I'm trying," she forced out through gritted teeth. "But one of us lacks the development to handle a mature conversation and resorts to petty behaviors to make up for their inadequacies."

"You shouldn't talk about yourself like that," he countered with a sly grin.

Octavia wanted to scream at him, call him every vulgar name in the book, but a small voice in her head told her it wouldn't help. Instead, she elected to bury her face in her hands as the damn that contained her emotions threatened to break.

"Well? Are you going to tell me what's up with you or not?"

"Why?" Octavia asked angrily. "You won't believe me even if I told you."

"Try me," he replied, goading her.

"Fine!" She said forcefully, lifting her head as her eyes bore into his arrogant skull. "Would you believe me if I said that I don't even look like this where I'm from?"

Octavia saw the brief surprise in his eyes before returning to his smugness.

Octavia motioned to her body. "I don't even look remotely like this where I live. That's why I had such difficulty walking when you found me because I don't walk on legs like these!"

The conviction in her voice started to break him down as she watched Jacen replay the events in his head.

"Exactly," she continued, pressing her assault. "And I guarantee you that your feeble mind couldn't even process that I didn't travel here by conventional means."

Octavia watched Jacen's expression go neutral as he tried to comprehend the information thrown at him. Octavia hesitated for a moment at Jacen's reaction or lack of one. She anticipated him outright refuting or challenging at least one of her statements. Was he actually believing her? She had to find out. "I came here through a portal! Not by air, land, or sea, but a stupid portal!"

Octavia's breaths were labored as the tension from holding that secret in started to ease. Jacen's expression became unreadable, but she didn't care; it was the truth. Leaning back into the chair, Octavia relished Jacen's befuddlement as the words started catching up to him.

"Told you that you wouldn't believe me," she stated, unable to hide her smugness.

Octavia watched as Jacen repeatedly opened and closed his mouth as words failed to leave. Jacen looked down at his feet. "You're right; I don't believe you."

Octavia felt her ego start to deflate at the sight of Jacen. What was her end goal? Yes, she finally told Jacen the truth, but now he doesn't believe her. She didn't have anypony outside of Jacen to help her, and she broke him to have a petty victory.

"Jacen I..."

"It's fine," he cut her off, shrinking under his stern gaze. "But if I get a hint that you're trying to manipulate me or con me, I am kicking you out!"

Octavia placed her hand on her heart. "I promise I would never do that." But a question lingered in her mind. "Do you believe me?"

Jacen flipped on the water as he returned to cleaning the dishes. "I believe that you believe what you told me is true."

"That's not an answer."

"It will have to do," he said dryly. "Because what you told me makes no rational sense."

"But it's true," she defended.

"Truce!"

Octavia jumped at the statement. "Truce?"

"Yes, truce," he said with a heavy sigh. "All we've been doing since we met is piss each other off and, to be blunt. It's getting us nowhere."

Octavia closed her mouth as she recalled how on edge they had been with each other since day one. "True, my apologies, Jacen."

"And for what it's worth, I'm sorry too, Octavia," he said softly, turning towards her. "Let's just try to get along for a little bit, okay?"

"That does sound prefearble to our current impasse."

"That's good enough for now, but make no mistake; I'm not fully committed to what you're telling me."

Octavia nodded. "Very well. Truce." Hopefully, it'd give her time to figure out something to satisfy his curiosity.

Jacen clapped his hands together and took a deep breath through his nose before forcing an excited smile. "So, would you be interested in going outside?"

"I'm not a dog, Jacen," she teased, causing him to let out a soft chuckle.

"I know," he replied, trying to mute his laugh. "Would you care to explore downtown with me since it's a pleasant day outside? Or would you rather stay inside and risk more heated banter?"

Octavia couldn't help but giggle at Jacen's attempt to sound like a proper Canterlotian. "The first option sounds more appealing, but don't you have work?"

"Nah." Jacen shook his head. "It's the weekend, and I'm not on duty, so I'm free."

"That's good."

"Yup, so I'm all yours." Jacen's eyes went wide with realization as his cheeks burned red. "Not in that way! Y-you know what I mean."

Octavia couldn't help but laugh at Jacen's discomfort. It reminded her of how she used to catch Vinyl wearing her sweaters around the apartment. The Dj would rush out of the room to change, thoroughly embarrassed. After much convincing, Octavia learned that Vinyl enjoyed wearing sweaters because they made her feel cozy and warm. Plus, Octavia's sent was a bonus to her marefriend.

"Anyways," he said loudly. "I washed your clothes last night, if that's okay."

"What's wrong with this?" She asked, flaring her arms out, allowing the shirt to appear as if she had wings for arms.

"I'm pretty sure you want to wear something that actually fits," he said with a chortle.

"True."

"I folded them and placed them on the counter for you in the bathroom."

Octavia stood up and headed to the bathroom giving him an appreciative nod as she passed him. Closing the door, Octavia took a long breath through her nose as she tried to calm her frayed nerves. Since she arrived, Jacen and her have been bickering like a married couple the entire time. Even when Octavia moved into the dorms with Vinyl, they didn't have this amount of heated arguments, even with some of Vinyl's more grating idiosyncrasies.

Octavia knew she needed to break this cycle or the threat of being kicked out of the apartment was a real possibility. Removing Jacen's borrowed clothes, Octavia started considering what she could do to stop their constant bickering. However, the more she scrutinized their conversations, she noticed something. Jacen appeared to be on edge with how quickly the tension in the discussion would escalate, along with the heavy sighs and pacing. Still, there was a fine line between concern and being nosy, and she didn't want to cross it.

After adding what felt like layer after layer, she was finally done. Octavia let out a calming breath by doing a final once-over to ensure everything was on like it was yesterday.

"What do I do with these?" She asked, holding the massive t-shirt out like a dress.

Jacen walked over to Octavia, taking the clothes out of her hand. "I'll take care of them."

"You know what?" Jacen asked, tossing the clothes in the bin.

"What?"

"Your outfit looks like you heard what a kawaii girl looks like but missed a few details," he teased, motioning to her outfit.

"Kah-why-yee?"

"Umm," Jacen stammered as his cheeks turned red. "Not important, but we might need to find you some more clothes. Maybe, we can do that while we're out."

As Jacen made his way to the front door, images of the statue flashed in her mind. A chill shot down her spine as the experiences of that night froze her in place.

Jacen putting on one of his shoes, caught sight of her causing a crease in his brow. "You okay?"

Octavia swallowed down the fear pooling in the back of her throat, forcing herself to nod.

Jacen stood up as his eyes filled with worry. "It's okay if you don't want to go shopping with me." He rubbed his arm, looking at a spot on the floor. "It might have been a little too forward."

"It was an honest request," she eased as she thought about the time she had to get fitted for a dress from Rarity, and the mare went on and on about the wonders of shopping. "And if I'm being honest too, I probably need the distraction."

Jacen nodded as he put on his other shoe. "Let me know if you change your mind or want to do something else."

"Will do." Octavia clasped her hands together, trying to focus on something positive for a change. "This should be exciting."

Jacen looked like he was caught off guard. "Why?"

"Because I never had my own personal fashionista pick out my clothes for me," she teased, giving him a wink.

"Oh god." He hung his head in defeat. "I should have never told you that."

Octavia giggled at Jacen's sight, even though it didn't change the situation; laughing felt good. Flipping her mane, she walked towards the front door. "Too late."

Octavia slid her feet into the shoes fumbling for a second with the straps. Luckily she was used to buckles from fastening her saddlebags. With some frustration, her clumsy fingers finished the task, straightening out her skirt as she stood up before Jacen opened the door and exited.

Anxiety crept down Octavia's spine as she drew closer to the elevator. Her breathing hastened as images of her arrival flashed through her mind. Loneliness and hopelessness clenched tight around her stomach, giving her second thoughts about exploring the familiarly alien world. The chime of the elevator's arrival sank into her heart like a death knell as the doors slowly opened. They stepped inside, and Jacen selected the ground floor, sealing them within. Octavia's hands began slickening with their descent. Each flash of the floor number felt like another level closer to Tartarus.

"Are you feeling okay?" Jacen asked with worry.

Octavia clasped both her arms across her stomach, shrinking into a corner. "I should be fine."

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Octavia sucked in a breath, steeling her nerves. "I'll be fine."

As the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened, Octavia latched onto Jacen's arm, surprising them both. Her mind protested fervently to this unwanted closeness, but her body remained steadfast. Jacen looked down at her catching Octavia's attention. She half expected to see Jacen with a victorious smile or smugness, but she only saw clear understanding in his eyes.

"Don't get any ideas," she said evenly.

Jacen said nothing before walking out of the elevator. Octavia hurriedly followed and positioned herself as if he was a shield. She was relieved Jacen didn't ask her questions about what she was doing. He just walked like nothing was wrong, eyes focused on what was ahead.

Octavia closed her eyes as trepidation started to fray her nerves as her mind flipped every which way. Bile formed in her throat as they steadily walked closer to her end. She shielded her eyes from the blazing sun pouring in through the windows as they neared the front door. Octavia prayed for a merciful end as Jacen opened the door. Taking a tepid step through the breach, Octavia shut her eyes as the intense light enveloped her vision.

"Probably should've warned you that the sun smacks you right in the face at this hour," Jacen joked, continuing to guide her forward.

"Probably," Octavia bit back, feeling the heat from the sun.

"Here," Jacen said as they changed course in an unknown direction. "This should help."

After a few blind moments, she felt the cooling breeze touch her cheeks, drawing her eyes open.

"The shade will help your eyes adjust."

Blinking several times, Octavia peered past him to see a towering building blocking the sun. "A little forwarning would have gone a long way."

"Yeah, wasn't really considering that until we stepped outside," he admitted rubbing the back of his head.

Octavia surveyed the area as her grip on his arm relaxed. Her first night here was something cultivated out of Nightmare Moon's mind, but the light painted a different picture. What lay before her was vaguely familiar that she couldn't quite put a hoof on.

"See, nothing to worry about," he soothed, leading her around the curved path back into the sun. "It's completely different during the day."

"True," she admitted feeling the tension in her stomach easing after two days of hiding in Jacen's apartment. "The fresh air is nice."

"I thought so," he said, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it. "Sure beats Texas."

Octavia released her hold on his arm as the fears began to wane. "Why?"

Jacen glanced over his shoulder. "Texas is stupid hot this time of the year. We would be sweating profusely the minute we left the building."

Octavia thought back to her walk to Twilight's castle. "I'm glad we're not there, then."

"Yeah," he replied as his shoulders started to sag. "I do miss it, though."

"Texas?" Octavia clarified.

"Yup."

"Why do you live here?"

"Because I have too." Jacen shifted his gaze to the ground as his pace slowed. "I hate it here."

"Why?"

"Because..." he trailed off, sucking in his teeth. "I have a lot of bad experiences here."

Octavia glanced up at him with quizzical eyes. "Like what?"

"It's... complicated," he answered, keeping his eyes locked forward as a sly grin formed.

Octavia let out an annoyed sigh as a split in the pavement caught her foot, causing her to stumble.

Jacen roared with laughter as Octavia's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Haha, very funny."

Jacen replied with a toothy smile as she elbowed him in the side, eliciting a slight chuckle. "Someone woke up this morning and chose violence."

Octavia became flustered as Jacen darted ahead a couple of paces. "Just kidding," he said through fits of laughter.

"I thought this was going to be a pleasant venture," Octavia countered, holding her head high as she walked past him. "Alas, you have led me astray once again."

"I have not!" Jacen defended as he tried to gain her attention. "I'm just messing with you, Octavia."

Octavia caught a glimpse of his worried face suppressing a smile. "Then one should have thought of such things before they indulge in childish mockery."

"I'm..."

"I'm just joking," she cut him off, breaking from her proper mare persona. "Someone can't take a joke."

Jacen stopped in his tracks as his mouth hung open. Octavia couldn't help but giggle at how lost he looked as she left him standing there.

"You're the worst," he called out before catching up to her.

Octavia flashed him a winning smile as they continued their walk. Octavia noticed something she couldn't put a hoof on as they ventured downtown earlier.

Jacen kept glancing at her as she tried to place where she had seen this before. "What are you looking at?"

"This reminds me of one of the cities I traveled to for a performance," she stated as they made their way towards the pathway alongside the channel.

"Where was that?"

Then it hit her. It was Octavia's first tour with the Royal Orchestra, and their first stop was a city whose staple structural features used exposed bricks with flourishes and accent pieces adorning the tops of its buildings. "Baltimare."

Jacen glanced at Octavia as a crease formed in his brow. "Baltimore?"

Octavia stopped for a second. "There's a Baltimare here?"

"There's no Baltimare, but there's a Baltimore," Jacen clarified. "It's up in Maryland. I've been there with the Navy."

"What were you doing there?" She asked, still pondering how similar the city names were.

"We were there for the War of 1812 celebration. Basically, a lot of partying with other navies from around the world."

"What other navies?" She probed.

"Yeah, there were navies from Germany..."

Germaney

"...France...,"

Prance

"...Canada, and Ecuador. It was a lot of fun just meeting other sailors from different countries."

Octavia couldn't fathom how similar the names were to places she had been. Questions began to rattle in her head as she wondered if the buildings looked similar. Did the people speak the same dialect as their pony counterparts? "Is there a city that sounds like Manehatten?"

"Yeah, Manhatten, which is in New York.

"How about Saddle Arabia?"

"Yes, Saudi Arabia."

Octavia was perplexed at how these places had counterparts here in this world, even if their names varied slightly. "Canterlot?"

"I haven't heard of a place similar sounding to that." Then Jacen narrowed his eyes.

"What?" Octavia asked, not understanding why he was looking at her like that.

"Every place you listed had something to do with horses. Why is that?"

"Because that's what they're called," she defended. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," he replied, placing his finger on his chin. "Why do those places sound." Jacen's eyes went wide with horror before abruptly turning around. "Forget I asked anything."

"What." Octavia was shocked by the sudden change in demeanor. He looked like he was hiding something. "Jacen, is there something you know?"

"Nope," he said hastily, walking away from her. "Just drop it."

Octavia quickly caught up, trying to get him to look at her. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Jacen kept his eyes straight, refusing to look at her. "Leave it alone. Forget I said anything."

"Why?" She asked in disbelief. "If you know something, please tell me. It could help get me home!"

Jacen abruptly stopped as trepidation filled his eyes. "I can't..."

"Jacen!"

Octavia's voice trailed as somepony beat her to shouting his name. She watched as something changed in his eyes at the sound of his name. It was something that she had never seen right before his expression went blank. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but something deep inside her told her no.

"Yo, Jacen!"

"Someone's calling for you," Octavia said, tapping him on the shoulder as she searched for the source.

Jacen closed his eyes as a stoic expression formed. "I know."

Octavia was off guard by how Jacen appeared swiftly changed to one of a guard at the Canterlot palace. Before she could ask him what was wrong, another person roughly the same size as Jacen wrapped his arm around him. The other person had a tanner complexion but was enthusiastic about seeing Jacen.

"What are you up to, bro?" The stranger asked, patting Jacen on the chest.

"Just getting out," Jacen replied flatly, not making eye contact.

"Ahhh." The man clicked his tongue before turning towards Octavia. "And who's this lovely lady with you?"

Jacen shifted as he positioned himself slightly between her and the new person. "This is Octavia."

The stranger pushed Jacen off as he came around Jacen, extending a hand. "Nice to meet you; I'm Murr."

Octavia held back for a second studying this Murr. She noted that, unlike Jacen, he had a super short black mane, but his clothes were similar style to Jacen's. She cautiously reached out, grasping his hand. "The pleasure is mine, Mister Murr."

"Wow," Murr exclaimed, as his eyes gave her a once over before turning towards Jacen. "I didn't know that you had it in you, Jacen."

"What didn't Jacen have?" Octavia interjected before Jacen could reply.

"The ability to land a beautiful woman like yourself."

"Oh!" Octavia placed a hand on her chest as the comment caught her off guard. "We're not together, we're just friends."

"Really?" Murr replied as a glint appeared in his eye before flashing a charismatic smile.

"What do you want, Murr?" Jacen said sharply.

"Just wondering why weren't you at the divisional outing this morning?"

Jacen's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

Murr pulled out his phone, waving it in front of Jacen. "The event that was in the group text for today. Didn't you get it?"

Jacen's head lowered as his shoulders sagged. "No."

"Oh well," Murr replied, flashing a charismatic smile at Octavia. "Feel free to join us; we're just hanging out by the river. We're planning on grilling out."

"Is everyone there?" Jacen asked tepidly.

"Yup!"

Jacen hung his head in defeat before looking back up at Murr. "I think we'll pass this time."

Octavia watched as Jacen's started to lock up; something was wrong.

"Okay," he replied. "Oh, and Jacen. Chief wanted to tell you that you start deck prez on Monday and will work on the O three level."

"Fun," Jacen replied unenthusiastically. "Is anyone else with me?"

"Chief has us going somewhere else to work on the system."

"All of you?" Jacen asked in shock. "So I'll be up there by myself then?"

"Looks like it," Murr replied, flashing another smile at Octavia before leaving. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Octavia."

"Likewise," Octavia called out. "Murr seems..."

Octavia stopped as Jacen walked away with his hands buried in his pockets. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Jacen said nothing.

"Did I do something wrong?" She worriedly asked, breaking into a jog to catch up to him.

Jacen shook his head.

"Jacen, could you slow down, please?"

Jacen slowed his pace but said nothing.

"What's wrong? Why did you not want to go with them?"

"Because I don't want to," he said bitterly, his eyes locked forward.

"Why not?" She asked, noticing Jacen starting to walk faster. "Murr seemed nice."

"He's not," Jacen ground out, increasing his pace.

"What do you mean?" Octavia stumbled again as Jacen pressed forward, glancing to see if she was okay. "Jacen, could you stop, please."

Jacen stopped as he looked down at Octavia with malice.

Octavia took a step back. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he said sharply, turning his head upwards.

"Jacen, I know that's not true."

"What do you want me to say," he blurted out as pain flashed to life in his eyes. "Do you want me to tell you why I wasn't invited to this little group outing?"

"Yes."

Jacen walked in a circle as he pressed his fingers into his eyes. "They don't like me."

"Murr seemed..."

"No, they don't like me," he cut her off. "Murr's the worst offender. He only came over to us only because of you."

"Why me?" Octavia's brow furrowed.

"Ugh, don't be so naive, Octavia," he said sharply. "You're stupid pretty, and that's all Murr does is chat up cute girls and brags about it in the shop."

"Oh," Octavia muttered as her stomach began to turn as memories of charismatic stallions who only pursued her for the notch in their saddle surfaced.

"Oh, is right," he said bitterly. "You probably don't even know what it's like to not be liked."

"I do," Octavia answered, rubbing her arm as her eyes drifted to the ground.

"How?" He asked in disbelief. "You're beautiful."

"It's not always about looks, Jacen!" She shot back, balling her hands up. "My time in school was rough, contrary to whatever you have going on in your head."

Jacen said nothing.

"I hated school because my parents sent me to one of those prestigious private schools." Octavia narrowed her eyes, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. "Don't even think everything was hoofed to me on a silver platter."

Jacen threw his hands up defensively. "I'm not."

"Good," she replied, lowering her finger. "My family is what they call 'new money,' so my parents thought it would be a great idea to send me to the most prestigious schools offered to elevate their social status. Little did they realize that ponies that went to that school were even worse than their parents. They would openly mock me, belittle my family, and even throw trash at me..."

Octavia froze as the words left her mouth. She shouldn't have said that, but it was too late. The information was out there, swirling around in Jacen's brain as he looked at her with apologetic eyes. A little voice told her to run to protect her home, to protect Vinyl, but she stood fast. Octavia let out a sigh; she needed to face the music.

"Could you take me to the statue where you found me."

Author's Note

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section.

Finding Home?
View Online

Harmonic Cognition

Finding Home?

Jacen stared blankly ahead as Octavia waited impatiently for a response. It was a simple request, but he made it appear as if she asked him to raise the sun.

"I'm lost."

"It's a simple request," she replied firmly. "Take me to the statue."

"No, I get that." Jacen shifted as he rubbed the back of his head. "I'm not following why..." Jacen trailed off. "Ah, never mind."

"What?" She asked as her brow creased.

"Nothing," Jacen replied quickly before motioning for her to follow. "It's not too far away from here."

Octavia wanted to press him more, but she guessed there might be a better time and place for it later. Quickly falling in step with Jacen, the pair made their way down the main thoroughfare. As they ventured further downtown, the skyline became more crowded with buildings of various heights, styles, and colors. Trees dotted the sidewalk, adding a touch of nature to the brownish reds, drab beiges, and hazy grays that colored the city's center.

Octavia wanted to bask in the fall weather, which was a pleasant relief from the sweltering temperatures back in Ponyville, but her attention kept getting drawn back to Jacen. A grimace painted his face as he struggled with something in his mind.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," he answered quickly, keeping his eyes forward.

Octavia continued to study him as he fought to maintain a neutral expression. "You don't look like you're okay."

"It's nothing," he stated frustratedly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm fine."

Octavia glanced back over her shoulder. "Does it have to do with Murr?"

"No!" Jacen's eyes flashed with anger. "Just leave it alone."

Jacen increased his pace, making her jog slightly faster to stay beside him, mindful of the leaves that coated the sidewalk. "I don't mean to pry..."

"Then don't."

Octavia grabbed his elbow, trying to get his attention. "Why are you acting like this?"

Jacen gritted his teeth as he dropped his head, continuing to barrel forward.

Octavia was starting to get irritated. "I'm just asking you a simple question."

"Octavia!" Jacen turned abruptly, leaning over like he was scolding a small child. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I just,"

"Leave it alone!" He said in exasperation. "Plus, aren't we suppose to have a truce right now?"

"Yes," she agreed, trying to keep up as Jacen took off again. "But where is the harm in getting to know each other a little better?"

"That's what I was saying earlier!" Jacen ground his teeth stepping off the curb onto the street.

As Octavia followed in hot pursuit calling his name, a railless train car appeared out of nowhere. It screeched to a halt inches from him with an ear-piercing horn blare. Octavia jumped at the noise as her heart and body froze. Jacen didn't react as he continued his trajectory.

"Jacen!" Octavia called out pleadingly.

Jacen's head whipped side to side before turning around to see Octavia still standing in the middle of the street. Rushing over, he grabbed her by the arm and escorted her toward the sidewalk.

As the pair stepped onto the brick pathway, the cold chill of death continued to flow through her veins. Octavia had little experience with life-threatening situations. That was too close for comfort.

"You okay?" He asked once they were safely on the walkway.

Nasueum saturated her thoughts as she tried to get a hold of herself. What in Tartarus was he thinking? Was he even thinking? Octavia spun on her heel, hitting him in the shoulder, causing Jacen to look at her in bewilderment.

"Am I hurt? You're the one who stepped out into the middle of the street!" She spat out, stomping her foot.

"I..."

"You almost got hit by whatever that thing was." Octavia flung her hand in the direction of the thoroughfare. "What happens if one of those things runs you over?"

Jacen closed his eyes, letting his head fall backward. "I didn't..."

"You have to be more careful!" She pleaded.

"I'm sorry!" He shouted, flaring his arms out. "God damn it, I'm sorry, okay."

Octavia stepped back, trying to calm the fear and anger swirling inside her. It had been a couple of nights since she was genuinely terrified, and it knotted her body up. She started to walk back and forth, shaking her hands to release the tension.

"There is no need to act in such a manner," she scolded.

Jacen pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a short burst of frustration.

"Then how am I supposed to act then, Octavia?" Jacen waved his free hand above his head. "Please regale me with how my mannerisms are unbefitting when conversing with someone of your station."

"First, I wouldn't knowingly put myself in danger. Second I would..."

"Stop! Just stop it already!" Jacen yelled. "Please stop making me feel worse than I already do!" Jacen's shoulders sagged as his head fell. "I can't handle it anymore!"

"I'm sorry," she said softly, rubbing her forearm. "I wasn't trying to make you feel worse."

Jacen closed his eyes, letting out a long breath. "I know."

"Jacen, please. I know things have been tense all day between us, but you mustn't let me bother you to this extent. Please do me the courtesy of at least telling me you're not feeling well."

"It's... it's not that easy," Jacen confessed as he started to fidget with his fingers. "It's just..." he trailed off.

"It's just what?"

"It's just," he repeated, letting out a frustrated sigh before turning his head towards the sky. "I have thoughts that come to my head and they just consume me."

Octavia stopped her pacing as she looked quizzically at him.

"It's hard to explain." Jacen closed his eyes, fighting with his words. "Bad memories run through my head, repeating over and over again. Then the feelings start coming along, and it becomes too much to handle, so I just shut down."

Octavia's expression softened as her anger began to subside. "So, you just shut down and disregard your safety?"

Jacen scoffed. "It's not like I choose for it to happen."

"I understand that," she eased, walking closer to him. "But I still need you to remain mindful of your surroundings. Otherwise, you're going to trot into traffic."

Jacen said nothing.

"And it would've been my fault you got hurt!" She admitted softly. "I wouldn't be able to handle that! I'd hate myself if you got hurt because of something I did."

Jacen nodded weakly.

"So, what can I do? Is there something that will help?"

Jacen cocked his head. "Like what?"

Octavia fumbled around with the words in her head. "Like, do you need me to say something or to do something so you don't shut down like that again?"

Jacen studied her for a moment before his eyes fell. "Not really."

"That can't be true," Octavia eased, sensing his reservations. "Jacen, you gave me a place to stay while I'm trying to sort my situation out, and I want to return the favor. Please, let me help you."

Jacen turned his head skyward as his expression showed the turmoil plaguing him. "I can't; I'll just manage on my own."

"Almost getting hit by one of those monstrosities is not managing, " she countered, touching his forearm. "I'm worried if I upset you again, something worse may happen."

Jacen quickly stepped back, grabbing the place where she touched him.

"My apologies," she apologized as regret clouded her mind. "It was inappropriate to do that."

Jacen's features softened. "No, you're okay."

Octavia said nothing as they averted their gazes from each other. Even though Jacen said he was okay with it, the situation still felt incredibly uncomfortable.

"That," Jacen muttered.

"'That' what?"

Jacen shifted as if whatever he was stepping on was causing him immense pain. "That's what you could do for me."

Octavia took a couple of steps back as reservations about what he wanted stirred in her thoughts.

"See! That's why I didn't want to tell you," he blurted out, sensing her hesitancy. "It's stupid and weird, and I hate it."

The situation hadn't become less uncomfortable, but Octavia could see that he was struggling a great deal with it. "Can you be a little more clear about what you want? I'm not sure I'm following."

"No," he stated firmly. "You're just going to think I'm weird and creepy..."

"Just tell me, Jacen!" Octavia interjected.

"Touch." Jacen's head quickly fell as his shoulders sagged. "I just need you to touch me."

"Touch?" Octavia clarified.

"Nothing like inappropriate." Jacen threw his hands up defensively. "It's just a simple touch like on the back of the arm or forearm. It just tells me that you're still here, that you're still with me. If that makes any sense."

"That's all?"

Jacen nodded. "It means more to me than words and says a lot more too." Jacen turned his head away, rubbing his forearm. "You don't have to do it. I know it's uncomfortable for some people, and I've managed this far without it."

Octavia took a step forward, reverently extending her hand, and placing it on his forearm. "Like this?"

Jacen turned towards her with relief in his smile. "Yeah."

"I can do that," she confirmed with a toothy smile.

Jacen cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Let's take you to that statue now."

Octavia placed a hand on his forearm. "As long as you're going to be okay."

Jacen gave her the most relaxed smile she had seen. "Yes, I'm feeling better now."

She returned the smile as the pair started down the leaf-covered sidewalk. Octavia watched as the metal monstrosities buzzed past them, hoping that situation would happen again. Looking around, she noted that more buildings saturated the sky around them, suggesting that they were in the middle of downtown.

Jacen cleared his throat. "There's something I'm curious about."

Octavia cocked her head in his direction. "What?"

"You haven't really told me about where you live." Jacen stumbled over his words. "I want to hear more about it."

"Well," Octavia trailed off, trying to find the best way to frame the conversation without disclosing too much. "I currently live in a small town with my roommate."

Jacen placed a hand on his chin and hummed to himself. "Like this city or smaller?"

"Smaller, it's more on the rural side compared to where we used to live."

Jacen looked down at her. "Where did you live before?"

"Canterlot."

Jacen's eyes narrowed as he hummed to himself again.

Octavia turned her head upwards. "What?"

"Nothing," he said with a dismissive wave. "Just a unique name for a city. Is that where you went to that super fancy school, right?"

"You can say that." Octavia shook off the unpleasant thoughts. "But I don't think that institution is worthy of praise. It's filled to the brim with arrogant snobs that look down on everyone."

Jacen looked down at her with a confused look before his eyes lit up. "Ah, you're talking about the school before you went to the music school."

"Yes, to be more specific, the Royal Academy of Canterlot."

Jacen nodded. "What was the other school you went to, the one for music?"

"That one is Celestia's School for the Performing Arts."

Jacen said nothing as his eyes narrowed, causing his brow to furrow.

"What is it?"

"When did you start attending that school?" Jacen asked, ignoring her question.

"After my second year," she answered before turning her head towards him. "What was that hum for?"

Jacen glanced at her with a slight crease in his brow. "What do you mean?"

"You just hummed like you knew something." Octavia quickened her pace to make eye contact with him. "Have you heard of those schools?"

Jacen shook his head.

She watched as his eyes shifted about. "You know..."

Suddenly Octavia felt a bump to her body, sending her careening toward a lamppost. At the last second, she caught herself on the pole spotting Jacen skirting away in a fit of laughter.

"You're such a child!" she called out angrily.

"True," he admitted, still chuckling.

Octavia burned with embarrassment and anger as she stormed over to the smiling idiot. She pushed him with all her might, causing him to roar with laughter as he barely swayed.

"Why must you act this way?" She demanded, stomping her foot.

"Because it's fun to see you flustered," he admitted bringing his arms up to defend himself. "It's all in good fun, though."

Octavia folded her arms across her chest. "For you."

"Okay, I'll stop." Jacen patted her on the shoulder. "It's not the proper way to treat a lady."

Octavia let out a frustrated snort as she started walking away.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Jacen called out.

Octavia stopped as she took a quick survey of the area. Nothing around her seemed familiar to what she saw on the first night. She distinctly remembered being next to the water, but where she currently stood, it was just concrete and bricks.

"No," she answered, letting her shoulders sag.

Jacen came bounding up to her with a smile. "You were headed in the right direction anyways."

"How far away are we?" She complained as she was tired of dealing with this overgrown child.

"Just a couple more blocks," Jacen stated, pointing ahead. "Once we cut through that street right there, you will be able to see the water front."

Octavia said nothing, following the direction he was pointing.

"So," Jacen said weakly, breaking the silence. "How was it going to the music school versus the other school?"

"It was better."

"Oh, that's good." Jacen started fidgeting with his hands. "So what was different about this new school?"

Octavia turned in his direction, narrowing her eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curious," he admitted sheepishly, putting his hands in his pockets. "I kind of wanted to know how things changed."

"Oh," Octavia muttered. "Well, I was among other pon... people that shared a common interest, so I didn't feel so out of place."

Jacen's head slumped forward as he nodded weakly.

"It wasn't easy for my parents to allow me to go there," she admitted, catching a glimpse of Jacen's defeated demeanor.

Jacen shifted his saddened eyes towards her. "Why? Did they not like the school?"

"They said it would be better if I remained where I was because it would allow me to secure a cushy job with relative ease."

Jacen's brow creased slightly. "What made them change their mind?"

"Well, after weeks of arguing, I reached my breaking point. The last one we had, I stormed out of the dining room and proceeded to lock myself in my room." Octavia chuckled to herself. "Should've known that my father would have the key."

"I was beyond displeased with him and my mum. It felt like they weren't even considering what I wanted and were forcing me to do something to better the family. But he did something I wasn't expecting..."

"What?"

"If you'll let me finish, I'll tell you," she joked as Jacen sealed his lips. "He came into my room and sat on the edge of my bed. At first, he didn't say anything, but I could hear him fidgeting and sighing. After a couple of minutes, he finally called my name, but I buried my face in my pillow, pretending to ignore him. I wanted to be left alone and hoped he would get the hint."

"One of the things that drove me mental about my father was he would talk non-stop about money. I loathed every minute of it because all the stupid foals did at school was brag about their parent's wealth." Octavia rubbed her arm, trying to quell the painful memories. "Coming home and hearing about it all over again made me think my dad was just another one of those pretentious elites."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Jacen said sorrowfully. "What about your mom?"

"She was born into wealth," she answered solemnly, slowing her pace. "I expected it from her, but I always thought my dad would be better than that because he didn't grow up in Canterlot or come from a wealthy family."

"I'm guessing Canterlot is one of those cities with a lot of money," Jacen said, slowing down to match her speed.

"Yes," she admitted, refusing to meet Jacen's gaze. "He made himself what he is today and has helped many less fortunate than him. But they started to go to more social events hosted by elites, doing more business with them, and I thought he was changing in a worse way." Octavia wrapped her arms around her chest. "I thought I was losing him."

Jacen said nothing, but she noticed he was walking closer, almost touching her.

"I heard the bed creak as he leaned back like he was getting comfortable. It was so tempting to buck him off the bed right then and there." Octavia gripped her arms as the memory stirred her resentment for him. "Then he asked if he had ever told me about growing up with Grandma and Grandpa in Trottingham. I groaned so loudly that I heard him chuckle."

Jacen turned to her abruptly as if he had a startling revelation. "Do your parents talk non-stop about how hard their lives were growing up too?"

Octavia giggled. "My father always made it seem like he had to scrape from the bottom and everypony was out to get him."

"My parents do the same thing!" Jacen's smile broadened. "You can't believe how annoying it gets. It's like, okay, I get it, but let's present practical information because not every school you go to is fifteen miles uphill and constantly snowing."

They shared a laugh at the expense of their embellishing parents as they continued to walk down the leafy sidewalk. She had almost forgotten the feeling of ease when sharing a story with a friend.

Friend?

Octavia turned her head towards Jacen, who still wore a goofy grin. Did she consider him a friend? Sure he was helping her out but so would others, given the situation. Most of her 'friends' outside of Vinyl were creative colleagues. Thinking about it, she didn't have many friends she'd made herself, let alone one of a completely different world.

"I can't imagine how much it would cost to go to such a trumped-up school," Jacen asked, breaking Octavia from her current train of thought. "They probably make you wear uniforms and be all prim and proper constantly."

Octavia tugged at her collar, remembering how uncomfortable those uniforms were; who thought sweater vests were a brilliant idea in the summer?

"They probably looked like the ones in those Harry Potter films with the capes and different houses," Jacen carried on before turning to her with burning curiosity. "Did y'all have houses?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about, Jacen," she admitted with a giggle. "Rest assured we did not wear capes."

"Aww, so you just wore the boring stuff like sweaters and ties," Jacen said, deflating slightly.

"Yes, it was quite tasteless, and I was fortunate that my new school did not participate in that."

"Between the classes, uniforms, accommodations, and, I assume, first-class dining, it probably set your grandparents back a lot." Jacen tapped on his fingers, doing some mental math.

"It makes it sound worse when you list it like that," Octavia admitted as she started to do the math for her tuition. "It's hard to believe that they could save that much money in such a short time." Octavia turned her head away. "My dad said it completely drained them."

"Wow," Jacen said softly, letting his head dip. "I wouldn't want my parents to do that for me. That's why I joined the Navy."

"Yeah." Octavia felt her stomach churn at the thought of all the wasted money her parents had spent on her attending that academy. "He felt the same way and told them they had made a terrible mistake, but my grandparents told him to trust their decision."

"Just like that?" Jacen scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I thought it would be a little more dramatic that 'Okay, thanks, bye." Jacen mockingly waved his hand. "Like, he didn't even refuse to go or at least put up a fight or do anything."

Octavia laughed at how invested Jacen was in her story. "He secretly dug through my grandparent's financial records and wrote down how much they had invested into him, and he swore that he would pay them back in full with interest."

"I guess that's a better way of handling the situation," Jacen admitted with a sheepish smile. "Was he able to pay them back?"

"Nope!"

Octavia couldn't help but burst into laughter as Jacen halted in stunned silence. "He had some welcomed complications, the way he put it," Octavia teased, smiling softly.

Jacen shook his head, still distraught by the information.

"Things don't always go the way we plan," Octavia reminded him, ushering Jacen to resume their way toward the statue. "But my grandparent's gladly let my father delay paying them back because he had more important things in his life."

"What... like... what is more important than paying his parents back?"

Octavia stepped in front of him, placing her hand on her chest and batting her eyelashes. "Me, of course!"

Jacen rolled his eyes as he let out a huff. "Yeah, you're pretty complicated to deal with in my experience."

Octavia harrumphed, turning her back towards him. "Don't sell yourself to highly their mister 'I walk into traffic.'"

"True." Jacen caught up to her, giving a subtle nudge. "I guess we're both pretty complicated."

Octavia gave a soft smile as she nodded in agreement.

"He made sure that my grandparents were at every important moment," Octavia continued, thinking about how they always played with her, took her to the many parks in Canterlot, and showed up with gifts. "I never knew any of this, so I sat up and leaned on my dad. He wrapped me in his forelegs, smiling at me. I couldn't help but feel bad for what happened to Grandma and Grandpa. He rested his chin on my head and told me he was running out of time and started investing heavily to make money, risking more than a sane pony should."

"Did he lose money?" Jacen asked as his eyes went wide.

"No," she answered. "Right as he was about to start, my grandpa became ill and passed away a couple of weeks later." Octavia wiped away a single tear from her eye. "Then my grandma followed suit a couple of months later. My grandparents always joked about how they couldn't live without each other; I guess it was true," Octavia said, letting out a chuckle.

Jacen's head fell forward as his features saddened. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah..." Octavia trailed off, thinking about how much she missed them. "But then my dad hugged me real tight and said, 'I'm so sorry.'"

Jacen shifted his attention towards her as his brow creased slightly.

"He told me that he thought sending me to the school he attended would help me. He wanted to be like his parents and provide me with the best opportunities. But he admitted that he failed to consider that I might take a different path."

"Ah," Jacen muttered. "He let you go to the music school because he felt bad."

Octavia gave him a quick jab of her elbow. "Don't try to sully the moment, Jacen," she scolded. "We still had to convince my mom it was the right decision."

Jacen rubbed his side, looking down at her with a grin. "Then your mom is the bad guy in the story?"

Octavia scoffed, trying not to mirror his cheesy grin. "No, she just wanted what was best for her child. Let us not forget how much money they had already spent on me while I attended the Royal Academy."

Jacen nodded.

"I wouldn't be afforded the same opportunities in the other school." Octavia gripped her arms, remembering her parents' fight after their conversation. "I love my mom dearly, but she was raised entirely different from my dad, so how others perceived you always took the forefront with her."

Jacen rubbed his chin before his eyes went distant. "That sounds like a saying we have in the Navy."

Octavia turned her head upwards towards him. "Really?"

"Perception is reality," he said flatly, putting his hands in his pockets. "I hate it because you could be busting your ass all day and sit down for a minute." Jacen jutted his arm forward like he was scolding somepony. "Then someone comes in, sees you sitting, and immediately assumes you've done nothing all day. I hate to admit it, but it does make a lot of sense."

Octavia turned her eyes forward as she contemplated the phrase. "It does," she admitted, thinking about her mom. "I think she was just preparing us for the harsh realities of the noble life of Canterlot in her way."

Jacen grabbed her elbow, turning her down another street. Off in the distance, Octavia could see a large body of water cutting through the city. Recalling her first night, she remembered them walking next to a channel, but she could be wrong. Octavia hastily scanned her surroundings, attempting to find any discernible markings to help her find her way back here if she needed to go alone.

Jacen cleared his throat, letting go of her elbow. "How did your parents meet?"

Octavia smiled, recalling how her mom would light up talking about her dad. "It's nothing extraordinary like a romance novel, but just by chance. My mom was walking through the financial district for a reason she couldn't recall and ran into my dad."

"That's it? Talk about a let down," Jacen teased.

Octavia chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "I told you that it wasn't anything special."

"There's got to be more. Did he have dreamy eyes, dashing looks, and a winning personality?"

"None of those," Octavia said, causing Jacen's eyes to fill with confusion. "She would joke that if you were in a barn full of stallions you would forget he was there."

"So then why did she marry him?"

Octavia placed her hand on her chin. "I remember that it wasn't love at first sight for her, but something different."

Jacen turned his head down, looking at her with intrigue. "What?"

"Trust."

Jacen looked at her perplexed. "Trust?"

"Yes, my dad offered to walk her home since it was late, and to my mom's surprise, she agreed. On their walk home, she felt she could trust this pony with anything just through how he spoke to her. Finding a pony who was that honest and straightforward was a rarity in high society."

"That is interesting."

"I thought the same thing," Octavia admitted. "My mom told me when they went on dates; it felt like she was there with a friend she'd known her entire life. The conversation flowed so naturally between them that she realized something."

Jacen cocked his head.

"She was talking to her best friend," Octavia replied as a bright smile creased her lips as her mind wandered to Vinyl. "She told him everything, her wants, fears, desires, and everything in between. That was when my mom realized that she wanted to marry him."

Jacen turned his head towards the sky. "Man, I wish I could have something like that."

Octavia didn't respond as a warm smile touched her lips. At the time, Octavia didn't understand what she was talking about until she met Vinyl. She couldn't help but chuckle at how stressed she was about sharing a room with somepony else.

"What are you thinking about?" Jacen asked, his eyes studying her.

"Nothing of importance," she dismissed while searching for a way to shift the focus back onto Jacen. "Shouldn't we be at the statue already? It feels like we've been walking forever."

Jacen let out a muffled laugh. "If we'd been walking at a normal pace, we'd be there already." He looked down at her cocking an eyebrow.

"Pardon me for enjoying our conversation," Octavia huffed, turning her nose away from him.

"Hey, I wasn't complaining," Jacen clarified. "I was merely stating facts."

Octavia watched him from the corner of her eye as his head dipped.

"I was enjoying it, too," he admitted softly.

Octavia burst into a fit of giggles. "Jacen, you don't have to take everything sop ."

Jacen scoffed in annoyance. "What? That's a bold statement coming from someone who demands to be treated like a proper lady."

"Yes." Octavia ran her fingers through her mane. "Your point is?"

"What... I..." Jacen stammered, trying to sort his thoughts. "You're no fun."

"Jacen, it's very unbecoming of you," she scolded, placing her hands on her hips. "You know I'm a delight."

Jacen laughed, trying to avoid her look of indignation. "Ah, yes, you've been the most pleasant person to deal with."

"Glad you agree." Octavia returned to her cheerful demeanor as the pair passed between two rusty brown buildings that separated downtown from the park.

Entering a tiny alcove secreted within the columns of bricks and glass, Octavia was met by a sparse smattering of trees planted to resemble nature. They were segregated by wide concrete pathways that cut through the patches of grass, breaking up the hazy gray atmosphere. How anypony would consider this a park was baffling to her. While the bland, uninspired venue stood out among the concrete jungle around them, it was nothing compared to what she was used to seeing in Canterlot, let alone Ponyville.

As they headed down their chosen path, Octavia noticed the little shops and restaurants lining the park's edge. People bustled about with idle chatter and laughter filling the cool air. If Octavia didn't hear the lapping of the water against the barrier, she wouldn't have believed that this was the same area Jacen had found her two nights ago.

"The statue is right there."

Tucked away behind trees was the marble structure circled by benches and plants. Octavia's heart hammered in her chest as she searched for the grotesque tribute to equine subjugation that these people thought should be immortalized in stone.

"You okay?" Jacen was studying her with deep concern.

"I'm wonderful." She dismissed him, trying to mask the trepidation clouding her thoughts.

Jacen laughed softly. "I guess we have different definitions of what wonderful means."

Her step felt heavier and heavier as they approached the statue, trying to ignore her body's desire to run. But she needed to see if the portal was still there. Octavia swallowed the unsavory thoughts as they stepped into the clearing surrounding the statue. Her fortitude instantly faltered as the rider locked eyes with her with his sadistic smile. Octavia froze in place as all the blood rushed from her body.

"You don't look so good," Jacen remarked, stepping in front of her. "What are you..." he trailed off as he traced her eyes to the statue behind him. "Is that what has you so bothered?"

Octavia nodded weakly.

"It's a statue, Octavia," he teased, patting her shoulder before turning to study the statue. "It's not going to come to life and hurt you."

Octavia balked at his carefree attitude. Her temerity was flushed out by bitter anger as she glared at him with indignation. "Doesn't that make you distraught?"

"What?" Jacen turned around quickly, brow furrowed. "The statue?"

"No," Octavia drew out the word. "I'm talking about your horrendous meat-eating habits—yes, the statue!"

"No?" Jacen answered, perplexed. "Should it?"

"Yes!" She blurted out, balling up her hands. "You're okay with people torturing a pony?"

As the words left her mouth, images of Vinyl being brutally bridled and wrangled raced through her mind. Quickly covering her mouth, the fear that had consumed her on her first night returned. She closed her eyes to dispel the thoughts, she needed to find answers, and this was the only way. Sensing Jacen's eyes fixed on her; she looked up at the behemoth whose eye darted between her and the statue.

"Don't look at me like I'm some mad mare!" Octavia stomped her foot in rage. "You're the one that thinks that is okay!"

Jacen shifted uncomfortably in place as attention from the other patrons of the park focused on them. He hastily stepped to her, grabbing the distraught cellist as panic filled his eyes.

"It's not like that," he whispered as his eyes looked past her. "It's a sport here."

Octavia's lip curled into a sneer, batting his arms away. "Torturing ponies is a game to you?!"

Jacen's eyes went wide with horror, lowering his body as he tried to shush her.

"Please, lower your voice," Jacen pleaded, taking a step back.

"No, I will not lower my voice, Jacen!" She retorted even louder. "How are you okay with this kind of abuse?"

Jacen's head wiped from side to side as desperation filled his eyes. "Please... look, I'm sorry... I... I'll do whatever you want, just please."

"Fine," Octavia conceded, adding a harumph for good measures.

Jacen remained silent as he wrung his hands together aggressively, taking a couple of steps away from her. Octavia was confused by his odd behavior before shifting her attention to the people surrounding them. Octavia's cheeks burned with embarrassment as an individual bounded towards them, his eyes locked onto Jacen.

"Miss, is he bothering you?" The stranger called out as his counterpart trailed behind him.

Octavia glanced at Jacen to see his expression drained of life, taking a couple of steps back as the man approached them. Before Octavia could respond, the stranger positioned himself between them, keeping his eyes on an increasingly troubled Jacen.

"It's alright," the female soothed, placing herself between Jacen and her. "We just want to make sure you're okay."

Octavia felt her heart drop into her stomach as the man continued to leer at Jacen, who looked like he was about to bolt at any second. Jacen's head fell as words unspoken tore him down.

Right before her eyes, the behemoth of a man wilted until all that remained was a hollow husk. Everypony would pass him without realizing how strong, proud, and kind he was. Then her eyes locked with his deep brown eyes begging, pleading for her to help. That cry for help had always been there, but she ignored it.

She'd messed up badly.

She turned away, unable to stand the look that ravaged her soul. Vinyl would be so disappointed in her. All the ideas she had elevated herself above, believing wholeheartedly that she was better than those snobbish nobles, came crashing down. She was in a freefall, unable to slow her dissent as all the conversations and fights berated her.

As she looked up at Jacen, the desperation he had held in his eyes was all but gone. What was left was a distant hollow gaze as if he had realized that she was not coming to help.

She wanted to yell and scream that she was right here with him, but the words died on her tongue. Without realizing it, she had built a wall between them, and her cries would go unheard. Panic flooded her body at the thought of losing him. She needed to tear down the wall she had constructed, or she would forever be doomed to walk alone.

"No," Octavia finally spoke up; she couldn't take it anymore. "It was my fault; he was just trying to help me."

The female turned quickly, placing her hands on Octavia's arms and eyeing Jacen suspiciously. "He's not telling you to say that is he?"

"No!" Octavia fumed at the asinine statement. She broke away from the stranger's hold and rushed to Jacen. "Thank you for your concern, but we merely had a heated debate that escalated beyond what it needed to be." Octavia placed her hand on his, giving her best reassuring smile; she wasn't going anywhere.

Octavia let out a weak laugh as the couple looked at each other, unsure of her response. "Are you sure?" The female probed.

"Absolutely certain," she replied, glancing back up at Jacen, who was staring distantly at the ground. "It's quite alright. Thank you."

The couple muttered something to themselves, giving Jacen an abhorrent stare as they walked away. Octavia let out a sigh of relief before turning to Jacen, who had remained silent throughout the exchange.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, refusing to meet her gaze.

"No, no, no," she assured him, gripping Jacen's hand and trying to snap him out of it. "I'm the one who should apologize. I caused all of this; I put you in that position. They had no right to treat you that way because of how I acted. I hope you can forgive me."

Jacen said nothing.

Octavia sighed; she knew it was a stretch for Jacen to forgive her. "Are you still interested in looking around the statue with me?" Octavia asked tepidly, attempting to find something to get his mind off what had just occurred.

Jacen nodded.

"Okay," she answered with some cheer. "It shouldn't take long."

She hoped.

As they turned around, a shiver ran up Octavia's spine as she locked eyes with the rider again. Forcing down the thoughts, she turned to Jacen, who was still in his defeated state.

"You can tell me if somethings wrong," she eased, noticing Jacen's grip tighten on her hand.

Jacen shook his head.

Octavia forced a smile. "We can talk about it later."

A faint smile parted his lips.

"Okay," she announced, letting go of his hand and taking a step towards the statue, trying to ignore the scrutinizing gaze from the rider. "All I remember is falling out of the base of this and landing on the grass."

Jacen shifted his focus to the grass around the statue but remained silent.

Octavia continued stepping onto the grass and kneeling at the base, placing a hand on its surface. "This is where I came through."

Jacen followed her motions, knocking his knuckles on the solid marble before looking at her with uncertainty.

"I know it sounds preposterous to you, but it's the truth! What would I gain from lying to you."

Jacen shrugged his shoulders.

Octavia let out a frustrated huff. "Are you going to be silent throughout this process?"

Jacen's eyes fell as his faint smile disappeared. "Maybe."

"Jacen, I'm not mad at you. I'm just not too keen on this." Octavia pointed upwards. "You don't need to be quiet."

"Yes, I do." His tone was dark. "I don't get in trouble if I don't speak."

"Jacen, I still welcome any input you have."

"Ha, input," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Look at where my input got me; if I kept my mouth shut, they wouldn't have come over here in the first place. Not to mention all the fights that we had because of me."

"That is the furthest thing from the truth."

Jacen turned his head. "Do the math, and you'll see who the common denominator is."

"If that's the case, then there's a common numerator as well." Octavia reached out, placing a hand on top of his. "Stop belittling yourself, Jacen. You have done more things for me than any other people have. Yes, we do get into fights every once in a while, but that's because we're different people. The difference is that friends work it out."

Jacen looked at her in a way that she had never witnessed before. "You consider me a friend?"

"Well... I..." Octavia stammered but seeing how Jacen began to falter, she regained her composure, holding her head high. "Yes, I do. Despite the circumstances, I'm glad that you were the one to find me that night."

A faint redness colored his cheeks as he looked away from her. "Thanks, that means a lot." Jacen cleared his throat. "But let's see if we can find something about the statue."

Octavia nodded as she began to search the base for anything that would trigger the portal. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Jacen doing the same thing, she couldn't tell if he was genuine or just going through the motions, but it made her happy that he was at least trying. There may be a chance that he would believe her.

There had to be something here.

Octavia ran her finger along a crack in the stone, hoping to trigger a reaction, but nothing. Pressing her fingers into the corners of the molding that surrounded the blank space of the base yielded the same results.

"What am I doing wrong?" She whispered as she pressed emphatically into anything to open the portal.

"Please!" She begged, pushing up against the solid stone as tears threatened to sting her eyes. "Just let me go home!"

She slammed her hands into the marble as desperation clouded her mind. She was right here! On the other side, her life, her home, and the mare of her life. But even though she was right there, Octavia had never felt so distant. As her head pressed into the stone, she knew that Vinyl was somewhere on the other side.

"I'm so sorry, Vinyl," she whimpered.

"Hey! I'm not finding anything over here," Jacen called out, walking around the statue. "You okay?"

"No! I'm not!" She shouted as her voice cracked from the unbearable truth.

"I'm sorry," he answered tepidly.

Octavia gripped her head, trying to calm her raging emotions down. "Don't apologize! I'm sick of all of this!"

Octavia spun around, pressing her hands into her eyes. She was done. She wanted this little adventure to be over. She has had enough of the out-of-body experience to last her multiple lifetimes.

"We can try something else," Jacen suggested, taking a seat next to her.

"What pray tell do you have in mind?" She huffed. "Do you have some spell, an ancient rune, or an over-the-top magical device that can create portals out of thin air?"

"I'm just trying to help."

"I know you are, but without magic, there's simply nothing here!" Octavia flared her hands up as if she were pleading with the princesses. "I can't go home! Not to mention you don't even believe me."

"I'm trying to!" He defended as he looked at her defiantly. "Jesus, Octavia. I'm trying my best, but you must understand it's a lot to take in."

Octavia took a sharp breath. Did she hear him correctly? She closed her mouth as his stare remained resolute. A flicker of hope burned in her chest, not because she would find a way home. It was because she was not alone in the endeavor.

"I'm sorry," she muttered with the pain of guilt. "I know you're just trying to help."

"It's fine," he dismissed with a soft huff. "That's what friends do; they fight and make up, right?

Octavia felt a smile touch her lips. "Yeah."

"So do you want to continue looking?" Jacen asked, patting the wall behind them.

Octavia turned her head, spotting the rider with a mocking smile, looking down at her. "No, I don't think we will find anything."

"If you say so." Jacen rose to his feet and extended a hand towards her. "If you want, I can take you out for lunch."

Octavia grasped his hand as he pulled her up to her feet. "That sounds nice."

"Excellent!" Jacen announced, walking away from the statue. "I know a place close by that caters to your unique taste."

Octavia followed behind Jacen as her legs became heavier, leaving the only way home. Looking back, Octavia felt her heart sink as the notion of seeing Vinyl again started to become a figment of her imagination.

Octavia shook her head, clearing out the depressing thoughts. Despair would get her nowhere. She needed to be brave and steadfast like Vinyl would be. She clung to the image of Vinyl playing their song at the club and how much help she needed to get there. This time, she didn't have Vinyl to pull her up, but looking up at Jacen, at least she wasn't alone.

Author's Note

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section.

Lost
View Online

Harmonic Cognition

Lost

Think, Octavia, think!

She pressed her fist into her forehead as she tried to conjure up some way of opening the portal. She knew for certain that she could travel here from the castle, but was it possible to travel back? It would be mental if somepony just created a one-way portal, right?

The more she thought about it, the stranger it seemed. Octavia regretted not paying attention more when Vinyl was using her magic. Could Vinyl even open a portal? She'd seen the DJ do incredible things with her sound crystals, but nothing as extravagant as opening the door to another dimension.

Octavia continued to rack her brain, unsure if she was even asking the right questions. She began playing back the minutes before the portal took hold of her in her head, trying to see if she was missing something. She recalled how the mirror made it abysmal during her warm-up as it unnaturally reverberated the sounds of her cello.

Why did Princess Twilight have to leave that stupid contraption in the library?

Thinking about it, Octavia didn't realize how infatuated she was with the mirror. For the most part, she would be locked into the music when rehearsing if you don't count Vinyl's subtle distractions. However, there was this burning desire that drove her toward the mirror. The crazy thing was that she had felt that desire before but couldn't place a hoof on it.

Before she could consider it further, her train of thought was violently derailed by a burlesque bump from her strapping companion. She spun on her heels, ready to lecture a certain lug of a man about the importance of personal space and softly to get somepony's attention. As their eyes met, she noticed the concern he held within them.

"Do you need something?" she asked sheepishly under his gaze.

"I've been calling your name for a minute."

"Ah, my apologies." Octavia looked up to see they had put some distance between them and the statue. Surveying the area more, Octavia hardly recognized anything around them except for the waterfront that seemed to cut through the city's heart. "I guess I was really lost in thought."

"You can say that again," Jacen teased with a cheeky grin. "What were you thinking about?"

Everything!

Ever since she arrived here, her mind has been running nonstop. Mentally it was exhausting, but she needed to get back home. She needed to be with her marefriend again.

"Nothing really," she dismissed; she was not ready to entertain the thought of being stuck here forever or discuss it with Jacen. "Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see." Jacen gave her a wink as he continued leading her to some mysterious location.

Octavia huffed; everything up until that stupid portal, she had been able to plan, predict or have fail-safes to keep her one step ahead of life. Right now, she should be engrossed in lesson plans for her students, not dawdling around with some hairless giant. An empty sensation filled her stomach as she stared at her alien hands. She was ready to embrace this new challenge of instructing the next generation of musicians. But, in an instant, life had ripped it away from her in some cruel joke where she was the punchline. To be paraded around like a show pony in front of her giant friend until she completes her act by finding a way home.

It was utterly vexing how lost and helpless she was; she didn't even know where Jacen was taking her, and it grated her to no end. She hated being in the dark, and this whole situation felt like an endless night.

Octavia's shoulders slumped as her petty anger began to dissipate. Even though she wanted to pander to the hopeless situation, guilt tore at her as the incident she caused came to mind. Clasping her arms, Octavia chewed on her lower lip, contemplating ways to make it up to him. He had at least entertained the idea that she came through a portal, but to the degree he believed her was irrelevant. What mattered was Jacen was at least trying to understand her predicament, making the feeling of guilt even more potent.

"Thank you," Octavia said softly, lowering her head.

Jacen glanced down at her with a crease in his brow. "For what?"

"For your kindness and understanding. I know how crazy I sound when I talk about my situation, and it means a lot when you don't make fun of me or readily dismiss me."

"No worries." Jacen glanced down at her with a warm smile. "I wanted to be helpful."

"You are," she reassured. "More than I deserve."

Jacen blew out raspberries. "I hardly doubt that."

"Honest," Octavia replied with some annoyance at his off-hand dismissal. "I don't know where I would be if it weren't for your help."

Jacen tucked his chin as a warm smile creased his lips.

Octavia mirrored his smile but noticed the pain he still harbored in his eyes. Regret tightened her chest as her disembodied self watched helplessly as this stranger who shared her features tore into Jacen. But no matter how hard she tried to suppress it, her callus arrogant words played like a one-track record on a loop. Despite her best efforts to reason, bargain, or plead with herself, the flagrant assault happened.
Wrapping her arms around her midsection as her stomach began to feel sick, she wished she defended Jacen better or at least shut her mouth.

Octavia saw his brow crease as if he was deep in thought. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Jacen muttered, looking at her quizzically.

Octavia chewed on her lip, trying to find the words. "I notice you get quiet and kind of lose yourself in thought and I was wondering if you're doing alright?"

"Oh," Jacen muttered as he lowered his head. "Sorry."

Octavia tightened her grip on her arms. "Is it because of me?"

"Umm... no... what do you mean?" Jacen stammered.

"Well..." she trailed off, sucking on her teeth. She needed to rip the band-aid off. "Do you regret helping me out? It's okay if you do because I haven't been the most pleasant individual to be around, putting it lightly."

"No!" Jacen turned abruptly towards her. "It's nothing like that," he stated firmly before letting his head fall.

Octavia seeing his reaction didn't ease the guilt plaguing her consciousness. "You'd tell me if I was, right?"

Jacen soberly nodded his head.

Octavia hummed at his response. Even if he looked like he was saying yes, it didn't feel like he was. The divide was still present, like a vast canyon with a broken bridge, and she was holding the cutters on the other side.

Octavia sucked on her teeth as her brain rattled off ways to apologize for the incident she caused, for how she acted, and overall just being a poor excuse for a friend. But, every word felt hollow and cliche; saying sorry for the thousandth time at this point was just for her to save face, and it offered no comfort or benefit to Jacen.

"You know," Jacen said tepidly, breaking the silence. "It hasn't been all that bad helping you out."

Octavia chuckled uneasily; if he was going to lie, he needed to do it more convincingly. Tartarus, Vinyl could lie better with her glasses off, and that mare was as transparent as a cleaned window.

"I enjoy your optimism, but we both know that hasn't been the case."

"I care to disagree," Jacen defended proudly.

"Well, that makes one of us," she replied, giggling at the poor choice of words.

"I'm serious. I've really enjoyed your company," Jacen said with a reverence that caught Octavia off guard.

"What... why... I don't understand," Octavia stammered.

Jacen wrung his hands together as he continued. "It's been a nice change of pace, and I promise I will make the most of it."

"The most of it?"

Jacen turned away as his smile died on his lips, and the life in his eyes began to flicker out. "Yeah, you're only here until we find a way to get you back home. I can tell you miss it a lot."

"I do, tremendously," Octavia admitted, causing the corners of Jacens mouth to sag even further.

The warmth of Vinyl's forelegs around her made her yearn for her marefriends touch. The lavender scent of her coat eased her burdens and made Octavia feel like everything would be okay. Her infectious giggles when she would purposely miss a note to throw Octavia off. They were all cruel reminders of what she had lost. But seeing the life being sapped from Jacen wrenched her heart unexpectedly.

The pain in her heart was starting to be commonplace, and it baffled her. It wasn't the same way her chest would tighten when she thought of Vinyl, but a feeling of betrayal if she left him here, left him alone. Octavia shook her head; surely, he had friends besides her. A hollow sadness formed in her stomach didn't offer any comfort.

"But I need to focus on the here and now," she continued, resolute in her answer.

"What...why?" Jacen stammered, searching her eyes for understanding.

Octavia tucked her chin, gripping her arms. "I feel like I'm causing more problems than it's worth."

She caught Jacen's jaw slack from the corner of her eye. She wanted to go home more than anything but didn't want to do it at the expense of somepony else, especially Jacen.

"But you're not causing me problems." Jacen defended. "Sure, we have had a few spats here and there," Jacen trailed off before pulling his shoulders back as if preparing to make a speech. "You're the only one that has given me positive attention in a long time, and despite what may appear on the outside, I feel like you care about what happens to me. Plus, you said that's what friends do."

"Using my words against me," she chuckled.

"No! Not intentionally..."

"It's okay, Jacen," she cut him off.

He paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm not opposed to you staying with me, but I'm confident that's not what you want."

"I don't know what I want, and that's the problem. I want to go home so bad it hurts, but at the same time, I think about abandoning you, and I'm consumed with guilt. I feel like I'm being split in two, and regardless of what decision I make, somepony is getting hurt," Octavia admitted weakly, raising her shoulders to her ears and hugging herself tightly.

Jacen's eyes drifted forward as he remained silent. Octavia was thankful he decided not to press her more on the matter. Right now, she wanted to stop causing problems for him before she entertained the idea of going home again.

"I'm here if you need anything."

The hope felt desperate when she would think of Vinyl like she was struggling for air in a cold sea. However, when Jacen reassured her, it felt like a life preserver keeping her from drowning.

"Thank you," she said warmly.

"And we're here." Jacen gave her a gentle nudge and pulled Octavia out of her thoughts.

The pair stopped in front of a quaint restaurant with windows that stretched to the first floor of the multi-storied building. Vibrant green umbrellas sprouted from the center of black iron tables, giving much-needed shade to those electing to dine outside.

"Huh," he muttered. "It's busier than I expected."

Jacen opened the black gate motioning for her to enter. Octavia hesitantly stepped forward as the multitude of people inside the restaurant became apparent. She walked in with the tentativeness of a performer taking the stage for the first time before Jacen passed her to open the next door.

"Thank you, but I'm not entirely sure where I need to go," Octavia dug deeply into her professional etiquette to mask her trepidation.

Jacen shrugged and walked inside, holding the door open enough for Octavia to grasp it with her sweaty hand. As her eyes adjusted to the artificial light, the trembling sensation of her first audition for Celestia's school took hold of her. Octavia drew her hands to the ready position as she reached for her cello's bow.

Looks of bewilderment formed on several individuals' faces as Octavia realized she was grasping at air. Tucking her chin to let her mane obscure her embarrassment, she hastily walked forward, wishing she could shield herself with her cello. Without anything to hide behind, Octavia tucked her blushing face into her mane to hide her embarrassment as she chased after Jacen. Still drowning in chagrin, Octavia's head smashed into a wall of cloth, sending her world sideways before her flank returned to the floor.

Jacen spun around, perplexed momentarily, before lifting her to her feet. "You alright?"

Octavia gave a muted nod as she tried to ignore the murmur of chuckles and the unbearable heat radiating from her face. If one could die of embarrassment, she would be on life support. Jacen brushed her off right in front of the peanut gallery exacerbating her dread. Despite his chivalrous intentions, the awkward contact did little to comfort her.

Vinyl wouldn't have been much help because of her inability not to seize the opportunity to poke fun at her. Nevertheless, all the jeering would be worth it to have her marefriend in her hooves again.

"What can I get started for you?"

Octavia was at a loss as her eyes scanned the impressive assortment of vegetables, but her mind was unable to figure out what she was supposed to do. Desperately, she nudged Jacen only to find her efforts in vain as he failed to register her hints for help.

Breathe, Octavia, breathe.

As the attendant stared her down, Octavia pointed to things at random in an effort to be done with this stressful experience. She would have to deal with her haphazard decision-making later; the blonde lady wrapped her food, placing it with Jacens. Turning, Octavia darted to the first available table, sinking into the seat, hoping that being seated would dissuade people from watching her.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I got you some water," Jacen said, sliding into the chair across from her.

"That is fine, thank you." She sat up, taking a drink, hoping the water would calm her.

Jacen looked between Octavia and her untouched food, causing him to cock his head. "You don't like it? I thought this would be a great place for you since they've got so many choices that weren't meat."

"No, it's not that," Octavia quickly defended; swallowing her pride, she pressed on. "I'm not comfortable being around all these people."

Jacen cocked his head as he looked at her with surprise and confusion. "Why?"

"Can we sit outside, please?" Octavia pleaded, wishing she could be anywhere else in the world.

Jacen remained perplexed but took the hint never less. He started wrapping up the remnants of his food, which at this point was a formality since there was almost nothing left, before collecting the rest of their items. As he led the way out of the restaurant, Octavia stayed on his heels, the sensation of a predator's eyes stalking its prey ever present in her mind.

As they exited the restaurant and selected the cleanest table, they took their seats opposite each other. Jacen resumed eating almost immediately as Octavia looked at her haphazardly wrapped food, still void of hunger.

"Thanks."

Jacen grunted in affirmation, taking another hefty bite of his food.

Octavia picked at the hardened things that covered the tips of her fingers. Ever since she arrived here, she felt like she was trotting a knife's edge between sharing too much and not enough. The dam she had constructed in her mind to keep her sane was beginning to crack under constant pressure. Slumping back into the chair, she couldn't figure out the next note to play, even if it was staring her right in the face.

Letting out a defeated sigh, Vinyl always somehow knew what to say to get to the root of the issue. She had never realized how much she needed that until now. That ability to be completely open, to put it all out there, so nothing was in the dark. To start to close that divide that she had created. But where to begin?

"Can we talk?" Octavia asked.

"About what?"

Octavia let out a heavy sigh that was at the heart of the issue. She didn't know what she wanted to talk about; all she knew was they needed to. "That's the thing; I don't know what," she admitted.

"Okay."

"But it's not okay," she retorted, annoyed at home dismissive he was being. "I can't help but feel like I'm hurting you."

"You're not, trust me."

Octavia was about to counter, but how he articulated 'trust me' caused the unease sensation to return. It was so deep and dark that it rattled the cellist to her core. Even though her mind hoisted crimson red flags in her head, something pulled at her heart to dig deeper, to unearth whatever he hadn't told her.

"Could you help me understand something?" Octavia asked, trying to be as tactful.

Jacen hummed as he took another bite of his remaining wrap.

"When I recall the time I've spent with you and how most of our conversations have started or ended up, they've, for the most part, been negative. So it's hard for me to imagine that others are treating you worse than I have because you're so kind and generous to me."

Jacen hesitated momentarily before shoveling the rest of his food into his mouth.

"Well it's true," he admitted, void of emotion.

Octavia felt an unpleasant churning of her empty stomach. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be." Jacen stood up from the table, taking his trash to the bin. "It builds character."

"What kind does it build, I wonder?"

"Don't know," Jacen admitted, returning to his seat. "But right now, that's all that life has presented me."

Regret saturated her mind, unable to tell if he was talking about her or something else or combing the two. "I need to be nicer to you."

"You already are," he clarified. "Plus, you don't need to worry about me once you go home."

"Please stop doing that!" she begged as the feeling of abandonment sickened her stomach.

"What?"

"Talking about me forgetting you or me leaving you."

"But it’s true," he fired back.

"Stop it!" she begged, on the verge of tears. "I'm not trying to abandon you! Please. Stop saying it like I want to."

Jacen shrank back as his jaw went slack.

"You know how badly I want to go home," she continued, unable to hide the desperation in her voice. "But I can't just up and leave you."

"Why is that?" Jacen asked tepidly.

"Because you'll be alone," she admitted, shifting her gaze to her hands. "I'm getting split in two because no matter what decision I make, somepony is going to get hurt."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Octavia slumped back, tucking her chin. "It's not your fault; it's mine. My life was perfect before I came out here."

Jacen remained silent as he subtly withdrew, letting his arms fall into his lap.

Octavia immediately rebuked herself for the insensitive comment. "I didn't mean it like that, I..."

"I know what you mean," Jacen cut her off. "You don't need to coddle me, promise."

Profane screams laced her mind as her soul started to tear again. Over the years, she composed many compositions ranging from a simple quartet to a full orchestra. However, all those stress-riddled nights paled in comparison to this. She was entirely out of her element and constantly failing at every moment.

Collapsing onto the table, Octavia wrapped her arms around her head, desperately wishing that somepony had created a reset spell. So she could return to the first night she met Jacen and treat him with the kindness he deserved. To show empathy where she showed anger, remained silent, and listened rather than voicing her petty complaints.

Even though she wanted to go home more than anything, it felt so wrong, like she was spitting in his face. Memories began to surface in an attempt to beat her into submission. All the times she tore into Vinyl over stupid things that she couldn't even recall why she was mad in the first place. As more and more events paraded through her mind, an unsavory thought began to form. Had she been like this before Jacen, had Vinyl's unconditional love for her masked her shortcomings?

Bile formed in her throat as the dark thoughts consumed her. She was no good for Vinyl, Jacen or anypony. On the verge of tears, Octavia felt a gentle hand squeeze her forearm.

"You need to stop beating yourself up," Jacen soothed.

"You first," she countered, lifting her head from the table.

"I don't..." Jacen trailed off as Octavia narrowed her eyes.

Folding his arms across his chest, he huffed in annoyance. "You don't even know what's going on."

"I would like too," Octavia said softly.

"No," he said harshly. "I've told countless people, and it did absolutely nothing for me. Hell, it made it worse, so forgive me if I'm not an open book."

"I'm not those people," she offered, extending her hand across the table. "I want to help, if I can."

Jacen looked at her hand with trepidation before closing his eyes as his shoulders sagged. Octavia sat back in her chair, mulling over what to say. Every immediate idea appeared shallow, like she was still guarding against the big bad monster.

"I know what it feels like to be unwanted," Octavia admitted weakly as every possible thought screamed at her to keep her mouth shut. "When I was at the Royal Academy, I had no true friends, only ones that were your friend until something better came along.

At first, I tried my best to fit in; I engaged in the gossip and followed the social protocol even though I found it revolting. One night I got a little comfortable with those 'friends' and shared with them that I liked a particular colt. The next day I found pictures of us plastered all over the school. Sure, it was a harmless prank with little meaning, but he was a Duke's son, so immediately, rumors started to spread that I was trying to get with him to elevate my social status. After that, everypony treated me like a heretic, like I was openly defying the elite's society. That day I realized that no matter how hard I tried to fit in, they only saw a peasant."

"But then you changed schools, and it got better."

"Yes, but it wasn't instantaneous," she clarified. "Because of what happened, I didn't trust anypony, and I often ate alone to avoid social interaction.

"Then how did you meet your roommate?"

"Well, there was a section in the school with rooms dedicated to practicing. I would go there to relax and get lost in the music. After a couple of days, I noticed I kept seeing this girl show up around the same time I did. I thought nothing of it because she said nothing to me, but I started getting suspicious after a couple of weeks. I would change my times, and she would still show up."

"So you have a stalker now," Jacen chuckled.

"Hardly." Octavia giggled at how innocent her marefriend was back then. "I found out later she was just working up the courage to talk to me."

"I can see that; you can be pretty intimidating when you want to be." Octavia shot him a withering look as Jacen threw up his hands. "Okay, not helping."

"It wasn't until I let my guard down that I realized she was trying to be there for me, to give me the support and trust I needed." Octavia looked away as a mixture of love and loss swirled around in her chest. "I owe her so much."

She could hear the metal creaking as Jacen shifted around in his seat.

"That's all I want to do for you, to help you out as my roommate did for me."

"It's hard to," he admitted weakly.

"I know," Octavia eased, giving him a supportive smile. "It takes time and it currently looks like I have a lot of that on my hands."

Author's Note

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section. Thank you for reading!