A Real Hero

by Writer87

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Thriller, Adventure, Profanity, Discord, Violence
Length: 8316

A man gets summoned by forces beyond his power... and decides to aid in his own special way.

Equestria needed a hero to save the lands from an ancient, evil foe; a tale nearly as old as stories themselves. The Hero they end up receiving is Jack; professional dreamer, greedy bookworm, and now full-time Hero. Unfortunately for the ponies, the Hero they ended up summoning is not the Hero anyone expected nor exactly wanted.

After all, what kind of hero demands to be paid for saving the world?!

Majestic Cover-Art made by yours truly.

Published 2022-04-11 07:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-05-28 03:24:32 UTC

Masquerader 1.1

Have you ever had one of those days where things are simply going so out of control, you simply can't help but think you're going crazy? This was one of those days.

I had woken up at five o' clock to go and make my daily hot chocolate. All good days began with a cup of hot chocolate in hand; I never did understand why people always went with coffee, all that stuff ever seemed to do was give me bad breath and make me sleepy. Today, I was shaken awake with something greater than coffee.

In an instant, my vision flashed rainbow. It wasn't something my early, morning brain was able to put into terms I was able to properly comprehend.

Have you ever bitten cold ice cream with your bare teeth? Or gotten lucky enough to hear nails scratch themselves against hard iron? If you were, just turn that feeling up to eleven.

It HURT. It felt as if it something were crawling underneath my skin, my flesh burning. I had trouble breathing. My head was hurting, as if someone was drilling it for oil. And there was that constant grating in my head; claws against steel. My own screams deafened me. This was the end, I was gonna be permanently scarred and left a drooling idiot, seated in some mental hospital...

"Welcome to Equestria...?"

All went back to normal. When I came back to my senses, I found myself standing with my knees bent forward, in front of a group of... colorful horses? Slowly, my hammered-up brain molded itself back together. I could vaguely tell that one of them had said something, but for now all I could do was stare. It was an honest to god talking horse! What did you want me to do? Just ignore it and move on with my day?

Yeah, like I was just going to do that. I'm not that out of touch with reality.

I closed my eyes, scratched them, and reopened them. Yep, the colorful horses were still there. Ponies was probably a better fitting word. Most of them reached no higher than my stomach in height and had large, cartoony eyes.

They were encased in roman-style gold armor, and had spears at their sides, watching me through holes in their helmets for any sudden surprises. There was a rush of something, - most likely heightened excitement - spreading out throughout my body, then I was calm again. As cool as a cucumber.

Now, I bet you are wondering exactly how I was remaining calm without losing all my marbles in this strange situation. It was honestly, pretty simple. For most of my nineteen years of life, I had been ingesting stories in multiple forms; reading, television, video games, with fiction being a personal favorite. You name a medium, and I had probably used it. So, to me, this whole summoning thing was nothing more than an fancy vacation.

Except for the lack of hot chocolate in my stomach. The bastards had me summoned me without even giving me the chance to finish it. Couldn't they have at least given me a notice?!

And yes, I know what I am insinuating with the word, 'summoning'. It was obvious, painfully so from the complicated pattern drawn in the circle under my feet. That, and the lightly glowing horn from one of the taller unicor- well it had wings so- whatever, I didn't have enough chocolate to deal with this. Winged unicorn. Yeah, that's your name now.

Honestly, if you aren't able to tell that you've been summoned on your own within the first two-minutes of it occurring, you're just an idiot. I can already hear the cries of hundreds of characters screaming all sorts of excuses and profanities at me. Ha, you guys can complain when you finally get a brain; being a social reject doesn't excuse stupidity.

"Can you understand me?" a feminine voice asked in perfect English, pulling me out of my daze.

This time, I both responded and inspected her accordingly. "Yeah, I do." She was a tall, white winged-unicorn horse thing... actually 'horse' would work better for her; she was nearly twice as tall as most of the other ponies in the room. She had flowing, candy-colored mane and tail, with feathered wings tucked at her side. She had a golden collar, shoes... over her horseshoes...? My brain was going to have a field day trying to wrap itself around that one... and a golden tiara.

It made her look silly and ridiculous. Her get-up was a combination of 'pretty' and 'childish', as if a little girl's imagination had been allowed to manifest within reality. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes; as girlish as she appeared, she was the one that summoned me from another world. No point in getting my 'benefactor' angry, after all.

"Good," she smiled at me. "I was wondering if I'd have to use a translation spell on you."

I shook my head. "No need for any of that here." Translator spells sounded cool and all, but I didn't quite fancy the idea of having someone alter my mind like that. If anything, I'd rather be the one to cast it on myself.

My eyes darted around me. I could see that I was in an arch-shaped dome enveloped in pure white marble. Rather than florescent light, a dim yellow light illuminated the room in all directions. Carved into the walls were ponies in various poses; one reading, another casting a spell, another warring.

"My name is Princess Celestia, one of the two Diarchs of Equestria," she continued, oblivious to my wandering eyes. "You must be confused by this abrupt summoning, aren't you? How about you follow me, and I'll explain all to you in a better setting?"

A nation ruled by horses names Equestria? How original. Just the same amount of creativity I'd expect from a nine year old. I rolled my eyes, eliciting more than a few glares directed my way.

I waited for her to be a few paces ahead before I followed her. Look down at my hand, I idly turned it towards the armored pony to my right, sprayed apart my fingers, and attempted to mentally blast him against the wall. If something did happen, it would be totally worth it, and I'd just blame it on nerves. It was to no avail; not a flicker of magic came flying out from my palm. Guess I don't get powers that easily. I'd actually have to work for them.

Which I found quite unfair indeed. I worked hard enough in the 'real' world, this was supposed to be my power fantasy outlet! I want a refund from all the shitty fantasy books I've been reading!

"So, where are we going?"

It was minutes later, and 'Princess Celestia' was leading me through the corridors of the same building I had been summoned in. Despite several turns, the overall layout and design of the building hadn't changed, implying that this building was larger than I had thought. I had noticed us moving up; had I been summoned in a basement of sorts?

"Simply to a better location to discuss important matters." She paused for a moment to look over me once more. "I apologize, but I don't find the underground summoning chambers to be suitable. I apologize if your summoning here was discomforting in anyway... Was it?"

Creatures crawling beneath my burning flesh. High pitched screeching in my ears. "It was just fine, peachy even. Just like waking up from a nice nap." The winged-unicorn horse raised an eyebrow - a human gesture that did not look right on a horse, but otherwise didn't elaborate more on the subject. Maybe she wanted to give me more time to settle down my 'nerves'?

Fine with me. Who was I to turn down a princess' invitation after all?

Following Celestia down the halls, I absentmindedly attempted to mimic an echo of the footsteps around me inside my head, trying to make a beat out of them. For the most part, the armored ponies around me all took steps at the seemingly the same time. Now I couldn't tell if they were trying to be intimidating or what, but it sure was impressive control. Or magic maybe?

And there was that tattoo on their asses. Celestia's ass tattoo appears to be one of the sun, and the other guard ponies have them as well, varying from tattoos of swords, armor and other assorted images. Was this some kind of weird fad or tradition around here? Not sure why ponies would need to brand each other.

Unless...

Either way, the rest of my walk through the walls was silent, other than gasps or hushed whispers I got from ponies when ever I passed them. Well, it couldn't be helped. I was alien to them in basically every literal meaning of word. I occupied myself by trying to match my footsteps with the guards, and by the end of our journey I think I managed to make us sound like a single entity.

Patterns came easy to me.

Suddenly stopping in front of ornate double doors at the end of one of the corridor, Celestia turned to face me in a single smooth motion.

"It seems that we have arrived. Again, welcome to Equestria."

In response to her words, two unicorn guards-ponies walked up to either side of the door and pointed their horns at it, causing them to glow. The glow then surrounded the doors as well, each door coated the same color as its respective unicorn's coat. A second later, bright light assaulted my vision as crystals in the room lit up the darker outside hall.

Blinking my unshed tears away, I was able to make out a two red cushioned thrones with stairs leading up to them - one of which was already occupied - as well as a red carpet that led up to it. On both sides of the room, I can see stained glass panes; one of the Earth surrounded by celestial bodies, another of a smiling sun, and one of two unicorn-pegasuses touching horns over a rainbow.

Celestia walked up to the unoccupied throne, while the guards-ponies took their places along both sides of the red carpet. Sensing an unspoken command, I walked forward up unto the red carpet, glancing up at the glittering crystals above. Once more I can feel the weight of the stares on my back, and in a setting like this, it is all the more obvious that I'm the true alien here.

I wipe away sweat on my forehead and brush away strands of black hair away from my eyes. Social situations were nothing new to me, but I think just about anyone would get just the tiniest bit nervous having a crowd of colorful big-eyed ponies stare at them. With spears. And magic.

Show me someone who says they wouldn't, and I'll show you a liar.

"Welcome, foreigner, to the most glorious Nation of Equestria! Thou art been summoned here by thy sister to aid us in this time of need and bring peace to troubled world! An ancient foe - Demon N’vstvr - hath chosen to rear its ugly head once again, and it wants nothing more than to devastate this kingdom, bring ruin upon the world and rain destruction among many a-pony! We beseech that you raise up arms and slay this evil, so that our world may be spared, the ponies: protected!"

I listened silently as the dark horse said - well, more like shouted - the speech from her throne seated next to Celestia's. Just like the horse beside her, she too was a winged-unicorn, but whereas her sister had white fur, hers was a dark-blue, and her ass tattoo that of a crescent moon. Even her collar was the same as Celestia's, except dark blue and with a crescent moon instead of a sun.

Woah! Siblings having reverse color pallets?! Just the type of originality I'd expect from a thirteen year-old 'misunderstood' author who gets his ass whooped both at home, and at school. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. At this point, I'm considering just asking to be sent back to Earth. I'd rather live there than deal with this for another moment sooner.

But magic... "I thank you for the hospitality..."

"You may refer to us as Princess Luna."

Luna and Celestia? I hope this bad naming sense is just a royalty thing.I smiled. No point in being the one to start things off on the wrong foot, and I didn't think directly antagonizing a princess was the wisest choice in any case, me being a 'hero' or otherwise.

And 'an ancient foe'. Did that mean that there were others or was I just over thinking things now? Well, shower thoughts for later.

"Luna," I began, blinking innocently. "What kind of support will I be getting for this?"

"Support?" Luna tilted her head in confusion. "Thy have summoned you, hero. My sister and I have put in the effort in-pony to help complete this feat. What else could we offer thee?"

"Money." I opened up my palm and closed it in swift motion.

"What?!" Luna had gone slack-jawed.

"Y'know, the thing that makes the world go round and round." I spun a finger 'round my head. "I'd be really glad if you could help me out as a benefactor. As a Hero."

I heard more than one spit-take at that behind me.

Tough audience.

Masquerader 1.2

Confusion. Anger. And bemusement...?

The room went silent at my perfectly reasonable words. It's like these guys had never heard of paying people for their good, hard labor. Or maybe this was a place where people just worked for free. It would go along with theme being set so far just fine.

I just know my old boss would've loved if that were the case.

"What sort of hero is this...?" One of the guards-ponies behind me muttered in an annoyed tone.

"And I thought heroes were supposed to be valiant and noble." I could just hear the eyeroll in his voice. "I don't want to insult them, but did the princesses accidently summon a common ruffian instead?"

They appeared to be astonished for some strange reason. I just pretended to have not heard them, it was amusing nonetheless either way to hear the way these barbarians think.

Luna began to speak again. "Money? What use would funds be of to you? The nation of Equestria has already supported you, as even me and thy sister have put in time and resources to bring you to us."

I wasn't able to contain my eyeroll at that. "And?"

She gave me a contemptuous look. "What does thee mean with 'and'? You're here to help save our world from terrible evils, no coin required."

"Then... I'll have to refuse. Go find another hero instead."

"What?!"

Again, the astonished faces around me brought me pleasure.

"So what if this land is facing some, 'terrible evil'? That's not enough to force me into action at all." I lifted up my hands, shrugging. "Even if you're the one who decided to go and kidnap some stranger - me - to go and play Hero, it doesn't mean that I have to play this game. Pretty lousy way to treat a hero if you ask me."

And it was. This innocent hero could've chosen to just leave for another kingdom to gain support, but I had trust that the ponies would relent. Also, I both didn't know where to even start looking for another kingdom and was pretty sure my chances of a good reception among the populace to be very low if I did so.

"How dare you, to Her Majesty...!" One of the guards-ponies flared up, holding out his spear towards me threateningly.

I smiled, pointing at the spearhead. "You're free to attack me if you want to... but what happens if you do? If you wound me, who's going to go out and slay the demon lord? You can replace a King with a prince, but who can replace a hero?" I let the room go quiet before finishing. "No one."

This place probably ran on some dumb fantasy logic where only the hero was capable of slaying the 'big bad guy'. Or at least I hoped no one else could, which was probably the reason why they haven't straight out stomped my ass back into the ice age. I'd really hate to be wrong and look really stupid... and dead. Yeah, that sucked too.

"Lay down thy weapons," Celestia finally spoke for the first time since we came into the hall. The guards-pony did so, even though it was obvious he'd rather have skewered me with it instead. I made note to watch my back for any suspicious looking poles in the near future.

Were these guys just princesses? I mean, I've heard of loyalty to the Queen, but nothing quite like this. Either they were really good leaders or I'm just out of the loop on crucial information. Hero or not, just having them be on my bad side wasn't optimal. We were supposedly allies, after all.

I needed a new plan. A new angle; continuing this route may get me what I want, but it would simultaneously gain me the ire of both princesses which would probably translate to the rest of the kingdom having a bone to grind with me. A message that would not only ease the doubts towards my person, but would also get the princesses to offer me what I wanted on the spot. I recalled the multitude of stories read across years of study, drew upon the natural flow they always followed.

Luna had recoiled at the word 'kidnap', wrinkling her lip. "We give apologies for any distresses that have been caused to you as a result of this, but we still require you to be a hero."

"I know but just..." I sighed, forming a gloomy expression unto my face. "I was just about to meet my mother for the first time in several years after finally saving up enough money to do so. And just when I'm about to be able to meet her... I'm dropped off here. Penniless, confused, kidnapped. Reminds me of the days when I grew up poor, scraping for every crumb, my mother my sole parent..."

I forced my head down, and in a quivering voice said, "It was just too much for me to be back to... all of that. I just wanted security, and I found that in money."

All of which was a blatant lie.

I had no convenient depressing childhood background to go back on. Both of my parents loved me, I talked to them regularly quite often, and I had a group of friends I talked with quite often. And let's just say money was never really... a problem for me.

All in all, I was a perfectly well functioning member of society. Heavens know why I was summoned out of the literal millions of social rejects all across the world. Well, I sure wasn't going to complain. I was equipped with both the opportunity to see true fantasy at work and an intelligence above 'algae-eating isekai protagonist'.

Here, I was a god.

At last, Celestia uttered five words.

"Sorry, we had no idea." Celestia sounded sincerely sorry. I couldn't tell if she was being genuine or lying to save face in front of her men. "We don't wish Equestria to be a place of strife for you. Just allow me to converse with my sister for a brief moment."

The hall was silent except for the furious hushed whispers between Celestia and Luna, both whom kept sending looks back towards my way. The guards-ponies around me avoided my gaze, embarrassed by the treatment given to me after hearing my 'tale'. If all people here were like this, I was going to have a field day.

A 'taking candies from babies' type field day.

Despite not being able to hear what they were saying, I could tell from the softening look on Luna's face that I was going to get what I wanted. A smile graced my lips.

Luna was the one who spoke first. "So we have come to a conclusions of sorts, and have decided to reimburse you for your troubles and future Heroic duties."

"Good! Quick question though." I put a finger up. "How much is the average salary for people around here?"

"People...?" Celestia sounded confused, but answered nonetheless. "I haven't taken a look at this years census but it should approximate to around two-hundred thousand bits per pony a year. Why?"

Two-hundred thousand as an average?! Granted I didn't know what that equated to in dollars, but still. Two-hundred thousand of anything was a shit-ton amount. "Because, I'm going to ask for that amount, but times ten."

Now at that, Luna actually coughed. "Times ten? Thee pleads for... two-million bits?!"

I winced, covering both ears. I could actually feel the air vibrate with her words, the ground slightly rumbling beneath my feet. If she could do this with just a yell... I fear what she could do if she got serious. For now.

"I'm a national asse- No, I'm a world-wide asset." I opened my arms, just showing the entirety of myself. "I am not one to be prideful, but unironically I'm about to take on a task that will save millions, if not for future billions. I'm worth at least ten ponies in cost."

"Or do you not..." I paused, glancing at the ponies with fake contempt in my eyes. "Care about the future of the world?"

I've laid it all out for everyone. You can't hardly go against what I said, can you? At least, not in front of all of these people.

"It is true that'll you'll be doing an important duty," Celestia said, her voice conversational, as if we were having a dinnerside chat. "Quite a large sum of money would prove to be a hassle for me to get processed into our records." She looked me straight in the eyes; pupils heavy with implication.

I had a feeling that she wouldn't out right accept me getting two million off the bat, so I had another offer for her up my sleeve. Never go in asking for anything without several other offers. "I admit it's a wee bit much of money. So how about you take off like five-hundred thousand bits off that amount and grant me with the title of noble... as a Hero."

The guards began to make a commotion, unable to keep their silence any longer. How could they? A random alien comes out of nowhere and asks to become one of the nobility without being of royal blood. It was crazy. If the nobility here was anything like that of Earth's kingdoms, then this was an extremely wild thing to ask for.

Considering the looks on the princess' faces, they had already decided I was insane, and were only debating how much meds to pump me onto.

Celestia's smile tightened just a fraction.

"Nobility is quite the... heavy burden to deal with. It is absurd to ask for it." Celestia said. "No offense, but without the proper training, even with all its blessings... it may turn into a curse."

Is she trying to goad me into 'realizing' I'm out of my depth and taking back my offer? Ha! Well, that wasn't going to work on me. If I was a noble, nobody would be causing any trouble for me. Not even immortality could save you if you were to make a wrong move in front of a noble.

But a hero? You could spit on their faces and insult them all you like; no retribution is going to come back towards you for doing that. Heroes were just glorified mercenaries anyways, who would stop you from messing with a foreigner?

"Then don't give me any of the duties that come with one." I rubbed my chin. "I mean don't add anymore. I think saving the world is enough of a noble duty, don't ya think?" I grinned the biggest, dumbest grin I could.

"..."

Once more, the princesses turned to each other to converse for a solid five seconds. The hall was so quiet that I could've heard a pin drop.

At last, a resigned smile touched Celestia's lips. "I can't say that there is anything wrong with what you're asking for. I shall ask for your royal stipend to start as soon as possible, as well as process your status of a noble."

She said it so calmly and so smoothly, that I could've believed that she really had no problem with my offers. That she wouldn't want me to take back what I said. She looked into my eyes again. This time there was more hidden meaning.

"There will be... many troubles ahead of you," she began slowly. "Some may come from your tasks as a hero, and others from your status as a Hero. Should you find any trouble with your current position, don't wait to seek my aid, yes?"

Give up my nobility and money? Hahaha! Celestia, you're a funny horse unicorn pony thing.

"Actually, I got one more thing."

The princesses just looked at me, somehow tired of my perfectly reasonable demands.

"This is the last thing I promise." I raised a finger, smiling wryly. "Could I get that in writing? Preferably in a signed contract."

Author's Note

100 views is very cool guys!
tell me thoughts on the 1st person-ness, im kinda writing this story to help me practice with it

Masquerader 1.3

I hadn't wasted any time after making that final request of mine. I urged them to sign the contract quickly before the presence of the other ponies in the room. A quick flash of light, two papers and a quill later, both the princesses and I had our selective signed papers.

The gist of it was that while I was unable to use my powers as a Noble to interfere with the laid-out laws of the land, I would still have the status of one. My stipend of one and a half million bits per year was also put into effect. I could not do any harm against Equestria as a whole, such as taking up arms against the nation or allying with a country who wishes to do so.

Which was all good with me. Why would I attack the people paying me?

And as for why I had this whole contract thing signed with two copies?

I needed insurance that the princesses wouldn't simply turn around and claim that I was talking shit out of my ass the second I stepped out of this room. Even if the princesses thought otherwise... I wasn't so trusting. My words against theirs; even if I was a hero, I was an alien, and these guys were the sovereign rulers of the nation. It would take literal magic for me to get even a single vote.

Which I was eager to learn, of course. Who wouldn't be?

But good things came to those who took their time, or something like that. Whatever, I didn't have a bunch of quotes memorized in my head. I was lying on the bed in my new room, provided courtesy of two royal princesses. I had a king-sized bed and full access to a private bath in the back. Next to my bed were dressers filled with clothes. None of them fit me since I wasn't a pony. I made note to get a tailor to make me some new ones; I didn't feel like reusing my underwear over and over again.

I left what little possessions I had brought with me - a pen and a few assorted coins - and hopped into the bath.

"Ahhh..." I let out a moan of pleasure, sinking further into the hot, warm bath. This was just what the doctor ordered. "I wonder what the food here will would be like. Food prepared for royals..." I wiped off drool from the corner of my mouth.

Despite not being particularly hungry, entertaining the thought of eating something brought pleasure to my mind. I wasn't going to deny that I was a glutton, blame my high metabolism for that little error.

But what to do after eating? I think I'd probably hit whatever libraries were here for their repository of magical knowledge. I know I should be sleepy, but screw sleep! How could I sleep knowing that the secret to arcane knowledge was literally at my fingertips? And I'd definitely have to learn swordplay later. Well, I don't have to, but it has always been a childish dream of mine.

What's stopping me from indulging in it? Rather, the circumstances are pushing me to do so.

The door to my room opened behind me and I let out a totally manly scream as I reached out and grabbed whatever I could substitute as a weapon. Namely, a back scratcher. Looking at it made my brain freeze in place, though. How did ponies with no hands use something like this; it looked like something taken straight out of a store back home. I pushed that thought aside for now. If I pondered too much on this, I'd start wondering about the doorknobs, handles and spears and lose my mind trying to make sense of it all.

The person in question was a light-teal colored pony with a mane a darker color than her skin. She had a maid headband and the image of a maid outfit tattooed on her ass. She had big wide, cartoony eyes and freckles spattered on her face. I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that this isn't some really angry pony here to smother me to death in my bath.

"Hero..."

"Jack." While I had only told the princesses my name, I was surprised that they hadn't spread it out across the public, the very least being those within the castle. I could only wonder why. "Wait, actually. What the hell are you doing in here?" I asked the most important question. Especially since it meant she'd have to have opened my closed door.

"Apologies, Hero Jack. I am Elizia Soft, and I was sent here by the princesses to give you aid if you need it," Eliza Soft, said, looking at me with curious eyes.

Soft. Weird last name, but I've heard of stranger ones. "Um, what are you? Room services, cleaner?"

"I'm a maid, sir." There was a pregnant pause before she asked, " I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but exactly what are you?"

"Little old me?" I let dropped the back scratcher and put a glob of soap in my hands. "I'm a human, not exactly native these parts. If you want a simplification, just think of us as smarter monkeys." That was way over a 'simplification', but I was pretty sure there weren't any other humans here to correct me on that.

"A hooman?" She drawled out the syllables, like a toddler learning a new word. And to be fair, she was learning a new one right now.

"That's me." I dumped the gollop unto my hair. "Now if you don't, could you like leave? I don't need help cleaning up myself - my parents stopped doing that years ago - and I kind of like my privacy."

I left out the part where it was just unnerving to me to have a cartoon pony just sit stare, staring at you while you took your bath. I didn't like it when it was done to me by people, of course, but the cartoony factor just turned uncanny valley up to eleven.

The implications of our current situations seemed to suddenly dawn on Elizia, who hurriedly left the room while apologizing all the way to the door.

I sank back into the bath, washing the suds out of my hair. Finally, some peace and quiet. Just what the doctor ordered. The last hot bath I had was around three years ago, when I had flown over to Japan by virtue of a school trip. Of course, I couldn't allow myself to go home without experiencing one of their 'onsen's. That was great, but this felt much better, and I felt my eyes close in utter bliss, almost pulling me back to sleep.

The difference in quality between royals and the higher class was nothing to scoff at.

I may have just ended up going to sleep if it wasn't for my need for food and my stomahc reminding me that I hadn't eaten anything that morning.

I rose out of the bath and after toweling myself off, I put my clothes back on, shirt and all. I saw something that looked suspiciously like a perfume on the dresser, and sniffed it. Well, it didn't really smell all too bad to me - a lot like lightly scented roses, to be honest - so I sprayed it once on each elbow. Anything had to be better than my morning funky smell.

I stepped out of my room to find Elizia, along with two other guards standing there. Do these guys not get bored or anything? They definitely weren't talking to each other, as I heard nothing through the door. I didn't even see a magazine or book, or well. Anything.

"Had fun waiting?" I nodded to both of the guards with a smile, hiding my surprise and turned to Elizia. "Mind leading me to the eating area? This is a pretty big castle and I don't want to end up having to waste all day being hungry."

"Of course, Hero. Just follow me." Elizia began to trot her little self forward and I followed her into the titanic hallway, noticing after a few momenets that they had fallen in step behind us.

I walked up Elizia and bent down, whispering, "Are those two babysitters going to follow me everywhere?" Without even turning, I could feel their eyes staring down at my back. I could already feel a rather annoying itch causing my hand to clench up into a fist.

"For now, Hero. You're the hero, so we have to make sure that you're kept safe for at least the first few days you're here," she said back in a hushed tone.

Kept safe? I smiled drily at that. I doubted that those two were following me out of the pure-hearted intentions of their ruler. Rather, them being stationed to watch and keep track of my doings was something I was far more inclined to believe. I opted not to tell Elizia that the ponies behind me would probably beat me half to death if I showed any hostile intentions as it wouldn't do anything but give her more stress.

They were probably more likely to smother me to death with a pillow, but I you get the gist.

I'm still not too sure how they would be able to use those spears though, you need hands for those...

Okay, nope. Not going along that train of thought again. Better to not poke the vegetable that may turn out to be a dragon.

I tuned out that line of thought and focused on the palace of... Equestria? Whatever, Castle E for now. The whole place shone with a sense of importance that one might've rather expected from a church. Windows opened up to views of what I assumed to be the Royal Garden, each sight equally as impressive as they showcased unique, colorful flowers. They had some strange stone carvings though. I waved it off as Royal eccentries.

The walls around me appeared to radiate a kind of warm, soothing warmth that seeped into my bones, pushing me into a state of ease. Natural light from above illuminated the many paintings and tapestries that lined the walls. I may have not been close enough to read any of the writing underneath, but each one seemed to portrait an important event in the past or some pony of seemingly high standard.

Strangely enough, there weren't as many pictures as Luna as there were of Celestia on the walls. But whether or not that was because of her lack of conceitedness or because we weren't in the main area was something to be found out.

"There is the throne room, but you probably already know that. Princess Celestia's personal dining room is over there to the right, and her sisters is right next to it..." Elizia continued to tell me where all the important rooms are, where the halls we walked in led to. I tried my best to keep note of everything she said, but by the time we passed the fourth near-identical corridor I was ready to call it a lost cause.

I was summoned to be a hero, not to take notes again in class! Those notes never did help me much, I must add. There was a reason as to why my cheating was an open secret to the students.

"That's too much," I said, raising a hand. I pointed to the hall where the throne room was said to be. "That is Corridor T." I turned to Celestia and Luna's rooms. "That is Corridor P."

Elizia stopped to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "Hero, with names like that..."

"I'm a very busy person." A throat was cleared behind me at the lack of busy work. "Well, soon to be busy person. I don't have time to remember all these locations specifically."

In the face of my infallible logic, the pony maid Elizia Soft could only sputter out nonsense. "Oh, I see, excellent Hero. The princess is currently wait for you in the Royal Eating Halls to the left over there."

She clearly didn't, but I excused her for her transgressions. One didn't become a genius in a single day; this venture would take time.

The smell alone would've filled up the stomach of a starving man. My mouth was watering before I even set my eyes on the food. Pumpkin spices, sugar, the tangy waft of fruit in the air; I couldn't wait to dig into those dishes.

Elizia walked before me and opened the double doors before I could. Upon looking inside, I can see dish upon dish laid out on the long ornate dining table before me, ready to enter this righteous man's mouth. As I enter, the candid chatter I heard before softened, as several pairs of eyes focused themselves unto me.

At the head of the table, Princess Celestia herself is looking me right in the eye. I can see other ponies that I assume to be either nobles or high ranking officials in the room as well whispering among themselves.

"So that's the thing Celestia summoned..."

"I've heard that it treats the princesses without the respect she desires."

"Why should she bring a barbarian here to save us? Was it a mistake?"

I ignored the sounds of that useless chatter and took a seat towards the furthest end of the table. There wasn't anyone else at the table except for me and the princess at the table, so unless if there were a bunch of rooms like this scattered around the building, I'm going to guess that this was made just with me in mind.

"Hello, Princess." Finishing my quick introductions, I finally seized my food. It had long cooled off, but I was hungry enough not to care. I decided to start with the hash-browns, starting out small. However, when it touched my tongue, it was just wrong. The texture was too rough, too dry and it lacked flavor; I spew it out into a napkin, slid the hash-browns away from me and swore never to touch them again.

"Are you alright, Hero?" Celestia asked, sounding concerned. Her horn was a lit with an ethereal yellow glow.

I held a finger to silence her, and quickly washed down the sour taste with a glass of chocolate milk I found to my left. This time there were no unwelcome surprises for me to meet. You're my one true friend... As expected, the glorious chocolate milk never disappointed, even in another world.

"Just was in that thing?" I can feel my face contort into a grimace just thinking about those 'hash-browns'.

Celestia to her credit, looked more curious than confused. "Even if they're of a higher grade, those hash-browns should contain what they usually do: eggs, oil, hay, potat-"

"Did you just say hay?"

"Yes, why?" A look of understanding flashed across her features. "Can humans not eat hay?"

"No, we can't. Our bodies just aren't built to take it; we'd probably sooner choke than digest any of it at all." I fiddled with a flab of pancakes with a fork, using it to pry the pancake open and see inside. "Is there any hay in the rest of this food?"

Better to know before I got a bunch of syruped hay down my throat. Now that would be a pretty embarrassing way to go out. The only upside would be that I hadn't made myself known to that many ponies so my shame would be contained for the most part.

She rose a hoof to her chin to ponder for a moment. "Not as far as I know."

Good enough for me. Giving the daisies on the table a wide side-eye, I began eating the pancakes with great gusto, forgoing the fork and knives for only my hands. Seeing the widening eyes on Celestia's face, I opt to explain myself.

"You see I could use forks. But I won't." I wiggled each of my fingers. "God gave me these things for a reason."

"I see..." I washed down a pancake with a glass of cold chocolate milk before starting on another one. "Well, seeing as you have just only arrived in this world, I plan to give you a week of res-"

"No need for any of that. I don't need rest." What would I even do? Just walk around here looking a mad pony's science experiment gone wrong? I didn't like not not having something to do, it made me antsy. Besides, it would bring my reputation among the ponies down. "It wouldn't do me any good as the Hero to appear lazy, after all."

"Oh, I see that you are definitely eager to get to training." she chuckled, saying the next few words underneath her breath. "Even moreso than some of my own little ponies. But let them know I said that."

"Of course, I am. Why would I slack off when I know that someone is going to destroy the world?" I will not let them ruin my fun. "Although I have to admit, I'm excited to learn about magic."

Celestia quickly read between the lines. "Does your world not have magic?"

I nodded. "Unless if you count backstage shows as magic, but that's far from the real thing. At least to compensate we are much more technologically advanced than you guys appear to be."

The sun princess looked like she was about to say something, but hesitated. I knew that kind of hesitation: when you have something to say, but decide that situation isn't right for it. While I was curious about what she was about to say, I didn't push her on it.

"How have you humans dealt with the world without magic then?" She cast a lingering look at a slice of cake to his right. "I'm going to assume advances in technology were had, correct?"

How do you know what I am? I never told you that. I'm pretty sure I had only told the maid that information, and she hadn't stayed around long enough to exchange any words with Celestia, retreating back to the door as soon as I settled myself down.

But then again, this was a world of magic... I couldn't exactly take anything at face value anymore. She could've possibly have just ridden their minds, which was a thought I did not find comforting in the slightest. 'Humans' could've been written in some summoning book somewhere as well.

Something to look into later.

"Yeah, we coped with our clear lack of fantasy power with good ol' science, grit and fire." I said, moving on to the cake. "Not to be insulting or anything, but you ponies are probably like at the very least... a thousand years behind us." It could've been less than that, but I hadn't seen the world outside of the castle.

"A thousand years?" Celestia repeated. "Oh my..."

"Your dependency on magic is probably the reason why," I shrugged, pushing a half. "Even if you guys are pretty 'outdated', I know many people who'd give up technology for magic in a heartbeat." Me, included.

"Ponies will always yearn for what they can not have," Celestia chuckled, her voice at that moment reminding me knowing mother. "I guess something will never change, even between worlds. How was your meal?"

"Tell your chef to always make my chocolate milk cold, never again feed me hay and that he could add some crunchyness to my waffles next time. Otherwise," I got up from my seat, grabbing a waffle as I do so. "Compliments to the chef. Just as good as I expected. Would've been disappointed if it wasn't, this is a royal place and all."

Celestia smiled at my words. "I'll be sure to pass the message along him. Now if you don't mind answering, what do you plan on doing now that you've eaten?"

I gave Celestia a knowing grin, pointing a finger up at the ceiling for emphasis. "To the training grounds! My training arc must start as soon as possible!" It was crucial that I amassed as much power as I could, as quickly as I could. Unlike the usual hacks that get transmigrated into other worlds, I wasn't granted with some special ability to go along with it.

While it put me at a disadvantage, it only meant that my effort would actually be meant something, unlike the achievements of the multitude of other talentless hacks.

"Elizia," I said, the pony perking up at my words. "Please take me to the training grounds. I think it's time that I got some..." I grinned. "Formal instruction."

"Jake," Celestia began before we left. "If you wish to, I could save you your time and have you directly teleported to the training arena from here."

I waved my hand, disregarding the offer. "Thanks but I think it's better if I Iearn how to move around here on my own. I'd be lost if I had you teleport me everywhere and then weren't around to teleport me."

The colors were too bright.

I hadn't noticed before on account of there being more pressing things on my mind, but now, with walking through the hallways for so long I couldn't ignore it. I was seriously in some little girl's dream home. The place had enough baby pink, yellow and white to last a child at least two-hours before they got bored again.

"Is something wrong, Hero?" Elizia asked upon noticing my stare.

"I dunno, it's just that this place is just really... bright for a castle," I replied. "The colors don't really strike me much as royalty at all."

"Really?" She asked, intrigued. "If you don't mind me asking, what was royalty like in your world?"

"Well for one, we definitely didn't have bright colors like these," I replied. Really, what kind of rulers would go for something so... girly? Childish? "We went more with blue and gold. Less bright, more dark, more..." Structured. I left that word unsaid.

"That sounds a lot like the royal family in the past."

The past? Even if things had been changing before the princesses had gotten into power, it would definitely take years, decades at the very least, for the theme of the royals to change.

I spoke out the pressing question in my mind. "Just how old are Celestia and Luna?"

"The princess..." Elizia let out a hum, as she paused to bring a forelimb to her chin. "I know that they are both at least one thousand years, I apologize that I can't provide you with a more exact number, sir Hero."

"A thousand years old?" I echoed. "Are you playing some sort of joke on me right now?"

"No, sir Hero, I am." An inquisitive look grew on her face. "Does no one live that long where you came from?"

"No, but people have tried for thousands of years... and are still trying." I waved a hand half-heartedly. "It may be a possibility in the future of science keeps increasing at its current pace, but we're definitely at the very least, a few hundred years away from anything like that."

"Ooooh..."

And a thousand years was just the bare minimum of how long those two sisters had lived. There could be another couple thousand of years tackled onto that nobody knew about. Knowing this, I resolved myself not to underestimate Luna and Celestia. Colorful world or not, a thousand years was a thousand years, and anyone left ruling a kingdom that long would definitely be a threat to be reckoned with.

Finally, at last we had made it to the training grounds.

"My training arc begins now," I whispered under my breath, a smile growing unto my lips.

Author's Note

So I've been inactive.
Yeah don't have an excuse for that other than finals and school. Now that I have that dealt with expect more updates