Author's Note
It can be a bit tough to replicate William Hanna's iconic Tom screams in text form, so click here for a video refresher.
That Darn Cat
Fluttershy had just finished drawing a steaming hot bath for herself when she suddenly heard what sounded like a faint scratching at the door. Perplexed, she peeked out of the room toward the stairs. "Hello?"
The scratching repeated. "Angel, could you see who or what that is?" Fluttershy called. After a few moments, there was no response; Angel must have been in his shelter outside. Fluttershy sighed and trotted down the stairs.
She opened the upper part of the door to find an odd blue-gray cat sitting on the other side, scratching at the wood. It was fairly large for a cat, with a lanky build and strange-looking features, such as its apparent opposable thumbs and surprisingly noticeable eyebrows. The cat had no collar, but it looked reasonably healthy; Fluttershy got the impression it was a lost pet rather than a stray. However, it didn't seem to have eaten in some time.
"Oh my goodness," Fluttershy exclaimed. "You poor thing!" She opened the door the rest of the way and allowed the cat inside. "Don't worry, little friend, I'll take care of you. Just make yourself right at home and I'll go get you some water!"
Fluttershy quickly filled up a bowl and brought it over to the cat, who gratefully lapped it up.
"Do you have a name, Mr. Cat? I bet you do, you probably have an owner. I bet it's something like... Jasper!"
The cat looked up with an odd expression and shook its head.
"Hmmm... maybe not. What about Tom?"
Tom seemed to smile and nuzzled against Fluttershy.
"Tom it is, then," Fluttershy replied, blushing slightly at the affection. "Well, Tom, I really don't have much around the house at the moment for cats, we don't get very many around here. Tell you what, though. I was already set to head into town later today; I'll go ahead and go now so I can pick up some food and other supplies for you! And I'll ask around while I'm out to see if maybe I can find your owner. I'd hate to think of somepony worried they'd lost you and not knowing where you are..."
She motioned to the green couch by the window, which had a sunbeam cast across it. "Why don't you lie down over there and just relax, Tom. I'll be back very soon!" Tom obliged as Fluttershy stepped outside and closed the door behind her. Yawning and stretching, the cat laid his body across the entire length of the couch, enjoying the warmth and dozing off for a nice nap.
As Fluttershy crossed the bridge toward the main road heading into Ponyville proper, Angel finally bounced into the house to find not his beloved pony friend, but a large tomcat! The bunny was used to Fluttershy letting strange animals into the house, but Angel was not a very big fan of cats. And just to make matters worse, the cat was lying on his favorite spot on the couch! This could not stand.
Angel promptly hopped onto Tom's chest. The cat, however, was in a deep slumber and wouldn't be woken up so easily. Angel jumped over forcefully onto Tom's head. Still no response. Angel leapt back over to the chest and started bouncing up and down dramatically. All efforts failed. Finally, the bunny wound up for a sucker punch and clocked Tom right under the chin.
"Yeeee-OUCH!" Tom finally snapped into reality, rubbing the stinging spot above his neck. He looked down and noticed Angel, a stern glare on the rabbit's face as it motioned for him to move. Tom cocked his head at the little creature, then used a finger to flick him onto the ground, before then rolling over to go back to sleep.
Angel's annoyance had turned to fury, and the enraged bunny hopped onto the bookshelf and pulled out a large encyclopedia volume. Balancing it carefully, he hopped back over to the couch and, with all his might, hurled it right at the cat's rear end.
Tom shot straight into the air, yelping and squealing as his inflamed red buttocks throbbed underneath him. He landed on his hind legs right in front of Angel, who was looking sternly at the cat; but the bunny's resolve didn't last long as Tom bore down on him with steam pouring out of his ears. Ignoring the rabbit no longer, Tom suddenly reached for him with both hands, but Angel evaded his grasp and hopped away in fear. Tom chased after him, and the two began to knock over furniture and break picture frames, vases and pitchers as the rabbit led the feline on a merry chase through the den.
After a minute of running, Angel had an idea. He dashed up the miniature stairs by the front door, too small for Tom to climb. As the cat raced over on two legs to try and snatch the bunny, Angel launched himself at the pink bird feeder mounted above him, dislodging it from the nail on the wall. The feeder landed right on Tom's head with an audible thunk, causing him to yell again as a large lump sprouted from his head. Two small birds that had been inside emerged from the feeder and flew right at Tom's head, attacking him and pecking at the lump as the disoriented cat swung blindly to shoo them away.
As the birds flew off, Tom could see Angel laughing at him from the miniature steps. But Tom had jumping skills of his own, so he dashed over to the main stairs on the opposite side. Steeling himself, he leapt across the room toward Angel, who failed to get out of the way in time; Tom knocked him from his perch and they both tumbled onto the floor below.
Tom quickly got to his feet and spotted Angel, seemingly out cold, on the rug in the middle of the room. A lightbulb appeared above his head. Quickly, he dashed over to the rug and rolled it up with Angel inside. Racing to the door, he opened it and chucked the rug out, watching it tumble away down the pathway. Satisfied, he gave himself a pat on the back and closed the door, then turned around.
Only to find Angel right there, looking him dead in the eyes, a smug smile on his face.
Tom's face went bright red as he fumed with rage. Angel hopped up the main stairwell as Tom followed. Angel went into the bathroom and noticed Fluttershy's tub was still full, and seemingly still quite warm as there was steam rising from it. As Tom charged into the room, Angel extended a foot, tripping the cat and sending him plunging into the scalding hot bath.
"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!"
The slightly crispy cat burst out of the tub and ran blindly through the upstairs hallway. Fluttershy had left one of the upstairs windows open, and Tom promptly fell right out of it, bouncing all the way down to the ground and landing right next to Angel's shelter.
Seeing where Tom had landed, Angel panicked and dashed out of the house to try and draw Tom away. Unfortunately, by the time Angel got there, the devious feline had figured out what he was looking at. And when he saw the bunny run up toward him, frantic, Tom promptly sat down directly on top of the shelter, causing the roof to cave in.
As Angel furiously started hopping up and down and jabbering, Tom made a physical expression that seemed to say What? What'd I do? But the smug look on his face made it clear he knew exactly what he'd done. Seething, Angel picked up a nearby rock and hurled it forward. It zoomed straight past Tom's head, and the cat pointed and laughed at the rabbit for missing such an easy target.
At least, he laughed right up until the bees from the beehive that Angel had intentionally struck swarmed all around his head.
The cat let out a very distinctive scream as he ran off into the distance, following it up with more yelps as he was continually stung. Now it was Angel's turn to laugh for a moment, before his attention turned to the ruined shelter. He sighed, recalling how Fluttershy had made it especially for him. He had to find a way to get that cat out of the house for good.
Unfortunately, Angel didn't get to spend more than a minute alone with his thoughts as Tom returned, covered in welts and angrier than ever. But the cat wasn't about to let severe, continuous pain get in the way of revenge, and he lunged at Angel, who hopped away, eventually escaping into the chicken coop. Tom followed, peeking his head inside the coop, only to be met with an egg to the face. Followed by another, and another, and another, eventually forming a bizarre smiley-face icon out of yolks.
As Tom withdrew his head from the coop to rub the gunk off of him, Angel zipped past him and ran towards the tool shed. Once inside, he kicked over a rake so that it landed in the proper position for his purposes, then hid in the corner. Tom bolted into the shed and immediately stepped onto the blades of the rake, sending the handle careening into his face and knocking him out cold.
Once he was confident the cat wasn't getting up anytime soon, Angel hopped out of the shed and gave a loud whistle.
After a few minutes, Tom came to. He staggered out of the shed, looking around for any sign of his tormenter. But Angel was nowhere to be seen.
He stumbled back into Fluttershy's cottage, again keeping a close eye out for the rabbit. The den still looked like a tornado had touched down in the middle of it, but there didn't seem to be anything alive in the wreckage. The sun had mostly moved off the couch by that point, but the cat could still use some good rest and relaxation after all that. Without looking where he was sitting, he plopped down and noticed the couch seemed rather odd.
Rather thick.
Rather fluffy.
Rather breathing.
Gulping, Tom slowly turned his head to the right and looked down to find the face of a large, angry bear staring into his eyes. The cat went as white as a ghost.
"GYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHHHHH!"
Tom didn't bother to open the door, instead leaving a large cat-shaped hole in the middle of the wall as he ran out of the house at terminal velocity. Angel emerged from under the couch as Harry the Bear, now looking perfectly pleasant, got up off the couch. The bunny hopped onto a table and the two shook hands before the bear ambled out the back.
As he fled from the cottage, Tom wound up nearly colliding with Fluttershy, who was on her way home from Ponyville. "Oh goodness, Tom, you scared me! Is something wrong?"
Tom responded with a series of crazed gestures that Fluttershy understood perfectly.
"Oh, I see. Angel can be very... imprudent around strangers sometimes, but this is a bit much even for him. Though I must say it wasn't very nice of you to break his shelter. Still, though, I don't want you to have to leave... is there nothing I can say to convince you to stay?"
Tom shook his head.
"Then I guess I'll have to give you your food and supplies here," Fluttershy replied, handing Tom one of the bags she was carrying. "I'm very sorry, Tom. I hope you can find where you belong. I'll keep trying to see if I can find your owner."
Tom gave the pegasus a smile before setting off on his way as she watched. Afterwards, Fluttershy turned back toward the cottage. Her face darkened.
"Angel..."
That bunny was going to pay.
