My little pony: but the ponies are self aware

by thebandit2000

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Nightmare Moon, Original Character, Science Fiction, Comedy, Royal Guard, Profanity, Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 2763

Twilight must save equestria from nightmare moon with the help of some the strangest ponies ever.

Twilight is sent to ponyville to make friends, (much to her dismay) by princess celestia instead of believing her story of nightmare moon.
But meets some of the strangest ponies she ever meet.

Published 2022-05-18 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-06-17 19:46:58 UTC

"A day like any other" (edited)

Author's Note

So yeah im sorry if you had to suffer trough this

"A day like any other" (edited)

It was beautiful day in canterlot. Ponies were going about their day hanging out with friends, or coming home from work or school.
The sun was shining, birds were chirping, it was a great day for everypony. But for one Twilight Sparkle it was the worse day of her life (so far). Twilight had tried to convince Princess Celestia That the legendary Nightmare Moon was returning.

But instead Celestia saw as ‘reading too many books’
twilight scoffed.
So now twilight and Spike are being sent to some backwater town called ‘Ponyville’ for the summer sun celebration to help with preparations and to ugh ‘make friends’.
“Ah chin up Twilight” Spike said “I'm sure its not gonna be that bad”.

“Spike I am trying to warn Princess Celestia about an upcoming threat!” Twilight complained
“but instead of taking the word of her most trusted student, she decides to send me to the country side for some pointless party”. Twilight sighed as spike patted her on the back.

“Come on Twi how do know the story is true for sure, I mean just last week you tried to convince everypony that you saw a flying saucer, when it was actually a smudge on your telescope”. Spike pointed out “maybe you are just being paranoid, as usual”.

“maybe your right” Twilight admitted as she slowly made her way down the empty street.

“Hey!”
Twilight jumped as she look around for the source of the voice, she saw no one but the empty street, and the closed shops.
Twilight raised a brow but looked back at where she was going “Do you have a passport?” Twilight yelped as a grey unicorn stallion guard with white hair, and bright green eyes, was just a bit too close to her face.

“Wa- huh?” Twilight stammered.

“your passport... do have it?” The guard asked

“why would I need a passport?” Twilight asked.

“Is that a yes or a no?” The guard said.

“Well no, I didn't think passports were needed” twilight said still confused just as spike raised an eyebrow.

“Um Twi does Canterlot even do passports?” Spike asked

“I don’t think so, um sorry but we’re going to have move around you” Twilight let out an awkward laugh.

“Not without your passport your not!” The guard said stubbornly.

“Look we’re kind of in a rush so if you could-” Before Twilight could finish the guard stepped in the way of the narrow pathway. “If you could-” Twilight grunted but again the guard stepped in the way “Get out of the way!” Twilight yelled.

“Sorry but you need your passport” the guard said.

“We don’t have a passport and we never needed one” Twilight growled.

“Well maybe you should” the guard deadpanned. Twilight lit up her horn and tossed the stallion into a nearby trash can.

“What the heck was that about?” Spike asked

“I don't know probably some crazy pony” Twilight said.

“What are you guys talking about?” An all too familiar voice asked.

“Wha- what the- how” Twilight looked wildly back and forth at the stallion and his dirty armor, and the now empty trash can.

“Don't think you can get rid of me that easy, I know your type.”

“And what type is that!?” Twilight snapped.

“The criminal kind” the guard simply said. Twilight gritted her teeth “look mister-”

“Tenry” the guard finished. Twilight narrowed her eyes

“Tenry” she repeated.
“We are not doing anything illegal, we don't have a passport, we are just trying to get to the royal carriages form orders from the princess, you know your boss” Twilight explained. This time Tenry narrowed his eyes

“I don't believe you” he said Twilight raised a hoof to her temples

“Why?” Twilight growled.
“If you are not doing anything illegal why don't you have your passport?” Tenry proudly explained

“BECUASE WE NEVER NEEDED ONE DUMBASS!!!” Twilight screamed.

“Whoa twi!” Spike said shocked at the foul language used by his guardian.

“Sorry spike” Twilight mumbled

“Is there any way to convince you that we are not doing anything illegal?” Spike asked, Tenry put a hoof to his chin and thought for a moment.

“I could follow you” Tenry suggested. Twilight laughed

“You’re joking right?”

Spike beamed “That's a great idea, I mean it might be nice to have a guard around just in case” Twilight glared at spike

“you want HIM to follow us?” Twilight whispered

“I mean why not, sure he is kind of weird but he doesn't seem that bad.”

Twilight looked back at Tenry ….. who was busy picking his nose.

Twilight sighed “fffff... fine” she grumbled.

“One hundred bottles of cider on the wall one hundred bottles of cider”. Two hours... they snag the same song for TWO HOURS then they lost count, and sang for another TWO HOURS “hhhhhheeeeyyyyy guuuyysss” Twilight hissed as her left eye twitched “why don't play a game”.

“Ooo what kind of game?” spike asked excitedly

“its called the quiet game” Twilight’s eye started twitching again. “Who ever stays silent the longest wins” the now crazed unicorn explained

“that sounds lame”. Tenry complained

“I will throw you out of the carriage!” Twilight cried

“Do it no balls” Tenry taunted, Twilight put her head in her hooves and a gave a pained sigh.

How Tenry managed to convince the carriage driver to tag along them because he ‘had his passport’ was beyond her.
“Um miss Sparkle” one of the drivers called

“yes?” Twilight muttered

“we are approaching Ponyville miss” the driver said

“oh thank celestia” Twilight moaned. As they landed twilight rubed her temples and sighed
“okay guys, Tenry, some ground rules while we are here” Twilight explained.
“Ok one, no singing the same song for hours,and two no acting weird around strangers”

“I'm not weird” Tenry whined.

“You asked one of the drivers if they had PlayStation plus, for like half the trip” Twilight deadpanned.

“What’s a PlayStation plus?” Spike asked.

“Oh you guys don't have PlayStation plus?” Tenry asked.

“No... we don't even know what it is” Twilight explained.

“Oh you guys must be Xbox fans” Tenry concluded.

Twilight face hoofed “well this can’t get any worse”

welcome to ponyville (edited)

Spike pulled up the letter from Celestia “ahem... my dear twilight” Spike began “there is more to a young pony’s life then studying, so I'm sending you supervise the preparations for the summer sun celebration in this year’s location, Ponyville.”

“Yes thank you Spike, but does say anything on where we are sleeping?” Twilight asked looking around the buildings and ponies going about their day.

“We could sleep outside” Tenry suggested

“Tenry we are not sleeping outside” Twilight deadpanned.

“Why not?” Tenry asked Twilight stopped walking (or trotting?)

“Because its cold outside, I don't want to freeze my flank off” Twilight admitted “besides if we don't, we can just find an inn for the night.”
Tenry frowned “What?” Twilight asked, but knew where the conversation was going

“I wanna sleep outside” Tenry whined.

“Then you are more then welcome to, but I want to sleep in a warm bed” Twilight explained.

“But I wanna be you guys, camping not fun alone” Tenry complained.

“Then you can sleep with us...in the inn” Twilight offered.

“But wanna sleep outside” Tenry whined yet again Twilight rubbed her temples.

its like talking to a filly

Spike scanned the letter again. “I think...ah here we go the princess arranged for us to stay in the town library” Spike beamed.

“OOOOOHhhhh shit we get to play all the flash games we want!” Tenry cheered Twilight rolled her eyes she hates to admit it but it does sound nice.

“Come on Twi doesn't this sound nice?”
Twilight grinned

“Yes it does spike, you know why?” Twilight asked to no one in peculiar
“because we might not even need to stay for the night, we’ll get the preparation's done and head home on the dot.”
This time it was spike’s turn to roll his eyes

“I thought you were suppose to make friends?” Tenry pointed out

“if they are anything like you I think I’ve had it with ‘friends’ besides we have Nightmare Moon to worry about.”

Twilight started to walk again with a new found vigor.
“Oh come on Twi this again!?” Spike yelled exasperated “look why don't we talk to somepony?”

Twilight stopped “who?” she asked sarcastically.

“Um like...uh” spike looked around for somepony random and his eyes landed on a Pegasus mare with a shaggy light blue Maine, a white coat, and an umbrella cutie mark was in the middle of drinking a bright orange soft drink.
“Um...like her!” Spike pointed the mare that I mentioned. Twilight turned to were he was pointing and looked back at Spike puzzled.

“Come on don’t be shy” Spike urged

Twilight sighed and walked up to the mare with an awkward smile.
“Um hello?” Twilight said shyly the mare turned to her

“Hi” the mare said back her voice seemed high pitched and awkward like she didn’t know what to say

“what’s your name?” Twilight asked

“oh my name is Rain Drop” the mare said

“oh that's a nice name” Twilight said feeling a little more confidant in herself.

“Hey you wanna see something cool!?” Rain drop said suddenly startling Twilight

“U-um sure?” Twilight stammered and before she knew it Rain grabbed her hoof, and drag her to some kind of menu sign outside a bakery.

“Tell me what it says!” Rain asked desperately

“oh uh sure um” Twilight squinted her eyes but to her it just looked like chicken scratch.

who writes like this? Twilight thought to herself.

“sorry I can’t read it either” Twilight explained

“oh” Rain drop muttered, Twilight looked back at spike and Tenry.
Spike was smiling and giving Twilight a thumps up, meanwhile Tenry was harassing the locals about his ‘PlayStation Plus’ whatever that was.

“Listen I'm sorry but I have to go, it was nice meeting you” Twilight explained

“Ok I'm going on lunch break” Rain proclaimed

“Alright have fun” Twilight cried walking back to her Friend (and Tenry)

“I drink soda for lunch!” Rain drop cried Twilight stopped for a second to look back at the mare, before walking again.

“She drinks soda for lunch” Twilight noted.

Twilight walked through the excited and busy ponies getting everything done before the celebration, everypony seemed to be very excited (and nervous) about THE Princess arriving.

Pegesi were getting rid of all the storm clouds they could find, unicorns were helping with banners and decorations, and the earth ponies were making the sweets and other foods for the party.

“Alright spike what is first?” Twilight asked spike looked through the letter again as Tenry was getting ‘free samples’

“lets see... ah number one food preparations, it looks like it going to be handled by somepony named Minty Cream”

“well does it say were she works?” Twilight asked trying not to bump into the workers

“it... does and we’re not far from there” Spike beamed.
“She works at a restaurant called ‘Joshua's’”

Twilight looked around at shops and food carts, and sure enough a restaurant with a bright purple neon sign was just down the street “well that's convent” Twilight noted.

A bell rang as the trio stepped inside, the smell of fresh hay burgers and oat nuggets was making Twilight’s mouth water.
Tenry was the first to the serving desk... and rang the counter bell for way too long, Twilight shot a small bolt stinging Tenry’s hoof.

“Ow” he whined
just then a earth pony mare with a curly dark green mane with with white streaks, lime colored coat, and a ice cream cutie mark came out from the back.

“Ah hello Twilight!” the mare cried in a cutesy robotic voice. (like it was a robot pretending to be a pony)

Twilight blinked “I’m sorry?” She asked puzzled

“Do you know her?” Spike asked a bit creeped out by the stranger

“can I have a large soda and BBQ wings, you guys do wings right?” Tenry asked.

“Tenry not now!” Twilight hissed

the mare giggled “sorry I used to be in your class remember?” Minty explained.

“Oh that makes sense” Twilight said
why don't I remember her?

“Alright well we were just checking to see how everything was going.” Twilight explained while slowly making her way to the door grabing Tenry by the tail.
“Well you know ‘another day, another dollar’ ” she quoted cheerfully.
Twilight let an fake laugh, before finally getting outside in the busy street where both Twilight and Spike shivered,

“what is up with you guys?” Tenry asked taking a sip from a large soda cup

“Okay next up decorations” spike said “huh looks like its going to be handled by unicorn named Bubbles”

Twilight snorted “very funny spike but what is really his name?” she said taking a bite of her daisy sandwich.
Meanwhile Tenry was busy picking at his hay fries.

“No really Twi that’s his name” Spike pointed out, while also pointing at the list Twilight used her magic to reach across the picnic table to look at the list. As she narrowed her eyes at the paper sure enough the stallion’s name was indeed ‘Bubbles’.

what is he five!?

“you know I used to know a guy named Bubbles” Tenry commented

“oh do know the pony we’re talking about?” Twilight asked curious

“I dunno this was back in prison, he did like to cuddle though” Tenry explained
at that Twilight began to scoot away from Tenry.

“How the hell are you a guard?” Twilight muttered
“alright where does he live spike?” Spike was silent “Spike?” Twilight asked again.

“You’re not gonna believe this... but he lives just across the street” Spike said pointing a claw towards a house with gadgets and doodads covering the building.

“Ok, now this getting stupid” Twilight said bluntly (insulting the author’s laziness)

the trio made their way across the street to the house.
Twilight knocked on it slowly, not knowing what horrors lay behind it.
Suddenly the door burst open with a light brown stallion, with a combed backed blond mane, and bubble cutie mark to go along with his name. (oh yeah he also wore a lab coat, and glasses)

“Can I help you?” the pony asked with an older sounding voice

“Hi I'm Twilight Sparkle and this is my friend spike, and my........... this is Tenry” Twilight introduced.

“Hi” Spike greeted

“sup” Tenry greeted

“we are here for celebration, and we were wondering how the decorations were coming along” Twilight explained

“ah I see, come in” Bubbles waved at them to come inside, the trio did just that with twilight in the lead.``

Twilight looked around the room she was in, there was what looked to be a telescope pointed out the window, new inventions and half finished projects lay around the house. They finally stopped at the kitchen where a laser was pointed at a tea kettle, while the kettle let a load whistle.

“So miss Sparkle-” Bubbles began turning off the laser and taking the kettle.

“Oh just Twilight is fine” Twilight blunted out

“...very well, ‘Twilight’ what can I help you with?” Bubbles asked pouring tea for the trio, Tenry took a sip from his cup and cringed.
“Oh nothing much we are just wondering how the decorations were going” Twilight explained.

“they’re just fine, I think I'll done by tonight” Bubbles said happily

“great, well we should be going it has been really nice” Twilight said happily... and happy she doesn’t need to deal with anymore strangeness.

“Hang on a minute”
oops spoke too soon
Twilight slowly turned with a forced smile on her face

“yes?” Twilight muttered

“Why do you need a Chanterlot guard?”

Twilight sighed “he’s not guarding me” she began
“he just won’t leave me the fuck alone” Twilight stated bluntly.

Bubbles glared at Tenry “how dare you” he cried.
Tenry looked up confused“what in Celestia’s name gives that right!?” Bubbles demanded at Tenry.
Twilight gave a sneer at Tenry

“Yeah what gives you that right?” Twilight snarked
Tenry took a long sip from his tea

“I have my passport” Tenry said bluntly

“oh ok” Bubbles replied

“WHAT?!” Twilight screamed, Bubbles got up from his chair.

“Well I'm going to make more tea” at that Bubbles left the room with a smirking Tenry and a dumfounded Twilight.

Twilight looked over at Tenry
“see this why you need a passport” Tenry stated
Twilight facehoofed.