Author's Note
Big shout out to my friend on Discord who suggested this idea, bit of an unusual ASMR fic, but basically it takes place after the crystals didnt work and you as Sunny has lost faith in the world, but Hitch plays a larger role in comforting you, reassuring that the world is worth living in, this is meant to make you feel inspired and restore your faith in the world, that despite what happened you can still take on the world with your head held high
It will get better
Those black clouds. Something about them always seems to dampen your mood whenever they appear over you, but here they seem to be a form of pathetic fallacy as your mind goes to thoughts that stir a sickening, lonely feeling deep inside of you. Your tired, apricot hooves slowly tread familiar earth. Your magenta and purple mane droops out of exhaustion and sadness as you pass the decrepit wooden sign that holds the name of your home town. You feel filthy, having not bathed for a good long while, but your foul mood makes you feel even more uncomfortable. All those negative emotions, of self-hate, hopelessness and disappointment held up inside you, making you feel like the worst pony in the world. You feel like crying, but tears do not flow, for at least if you cried it would let all the evils out. But no, they linger and swirl in a seemingly never ending loop, eating you up from the inside. These emotions feel like enough to make you pass out. You look down at your small blue bag hung over your neck and resting against your side, the badges on there that once filled you with such hope and optimism, now a reminder of your greatest failure.
For years all you could do was try and fail, but recently you thought you had found the solution. All this time there was an answer that seemed so perfect, so ideal, all you had to do was jump a few hurdles. You used your brain, the help from friends of your own race and others, showed kindness to everypony, did everything in your own Sunny way, only to come so close and yet so far. You hate yourself now, the plan was no good from the start. You were naïve, a simple earth pony with your head in the clouds. It's a big big world, but you thought you were bigger, that you could solve everypony's issues with the drop of a hat. How could you have been so sure? You woke up, put on your roller-skates and thought to yourself "This is gonna be my day". Now look at you, rage and pity directed towards yourself, a feeling that you think will never end, and swallow you whole until the end of your existence. That's not necessarily true but that is how you feel.
You are so caught up in your despair, you hardly notice the presence of a sand coloured earth pony with an aqua green mane behind you, looking just as solemn. Despite all Hitch did for you over the years, whether it be through comforting you during much bleaker times such as your dad's passing, or standing up for you whenever somepony tried to put you down, it wouldn't help. Even your best friend that had helped you through so much, stuck with you no matter what you do, cared for you, platonically loved you, it seems to you even he isn't enough to make you feel any better. I mean its not like he could bring magic back to Equestria by one of his lectures about litter or talk about himself in the third person or be the good friend that he's always been. A small spark is ignited inside at the thought of Hitch, but is extinguished quickly.
You then hear the hoof steps behind you stopping, yet you remain moving in the direction towards the lighthouse. Until you hear the commanding yet goofy voice of your closest friend behind you, only with a tone of concern.
"You know I'm right here if you need to talk Sunny" Hitch says in a soft voice, almost as if he knew it wouldn't be enough just saying that.
You turn your head back to him. Your brain tells you to smile, at least a small one would convey that him saying that really means something. But your lips maintain downturned. You think you can see his heart breaking at your frown, the firmness of his character completely hidden in the sorrow he has for you. He stands still as you turn your head back forwards once more and start trotting towards the lighthouse...
"Sunny wait" Hitch calls out softly
You turn to look at him once more, still in your depressed state. Only to see him closing his eyes and talking to himself quietly.
"C'mon Hitch, you can do this. She's been your longest and closest friend for as long as you can remember. You put her down so many times, its time you were here for her"
You can here him inhale as he begins to speak in a reassuring voice.
"You really are amazing you know" he says, you are slightly taken aback by that sentence "Honestly, I know that no-pony else would have the guts to do what you just did, even if it didn't go entirely the way you planned"
You turn away from him and look down at your hooves, reminded of your failure. You hear him continue and you listen.
"What you did is an inspiration to others. You made others believe that it living in a world filled with fear is not the answer. I mean I knew the world wasn't perfect even being the sheriff, but it was always in the back of my mind. I was so complacent with living in this world like a mindless robot because I didn't have the confidence or optimism to change anything" Hitch continues, though you don't show it, you find his honesty about himself very insightful of him
"And I'm not a pony who swallows his pride often. But I am willing to admit it now because you changed my mind. Not meeting Izzy, Pip and Zipp, but seeing you believe that Equestria could be more than what it was originally, inspired me to change my thinking."
You feel a swelling in your eyes, as tears ever so slightly start to form in your eyes.
"I know I've not always been 100% supportive of your ideals, but what I've most admired is how you never quit, no matter how many bylaws you broke" He says that last bit of the sentence in a joking tone, as you emit a small grin from the corners of your lips. Though the gravity of your depression drags them back down to a sad expression, but it goes on long enough for Hitch to notice it
"Was that a smile Sunny Starscout?" Hitch says with a smile of his own, he trots over towards her "C'mon, there's still that ray of sunshine in there, never giving up on the world no matter how bleak it gets"
You start to show some teeth in your smiles as your breath is stifled by slight giggling as you wipe away the tears starting to form from Hitch's touching words.
You see him stand by your side on that hill. His warm presence, caring persona was enough to make you feel ever so slightly better. Its enough to rekindle a small amount of your self-faith. The world seems brighter and more worth living around Hitch, for something about the words he said and how he delivered them garner a feeling of slight yet noticeable safety and self-confidence from you.
However, when your face turns away from Hitch, you are greeted once more by the large, overwhelming world ahead of you. Your head shoots down again, as your mood is clouded by the prospect of facing a world that had caused you suffering, even if you did strive to make it better for a time. The world cannot be changed just like that, you think, there is no perfect solution to everything especially with something like solving the worlds animosity towards each other. Yes there are certain ponies who shouldn't exist and who make the world worse, thus need taking care of but there are always gonna be ponies like that, even if magic was brought back to Equestria. You internally criticised yourself once more at your naivety, with the knowledge now that you don't have the power to solve every single one of Equestria's problems. The world was built imperfect, and that's how it always will be.
You can see out of the corner of your eye, Hitch's face of concern returning as he leans his head over to try and reach your gaze.
"There's more to it than that isn't there?" he asks gently, you don't quite have the strength to nod your head in response, yet it seemed he knew the answer he wasn't going to get from you as your closest friend sighs.
"This world" Hitch continues, gesturing to your surroundings "Its not the easiest place to live in sometimes. Whether it be the animosity between differing factions or someponies who use fear as a mechanism to fulfil their own selfish desires. I mean the police department are guilty of that sometimes, I sometimes abuse my power for selfish gains and I cannot tell you how many sleepless nights it gives me"
Now it was Hitch's turn to turn his head away from you
"But, I'm also a Sheriff who cares about those around me, because in my mind, they are worthy of protecting. Yes, no-pony is perfect, but whenever I do something like reuniting a lost foal with its mother, I always take a moment to watch them, seeing them hug and the mother say how worried she was about him or her, always makes me feel good inside. I feel like because of what I did, they get to have more of those tender moments, moments that make living in this world worthwhile. Its enough for me to protect others even if I cant do it forever or I cant protect all of them"
You wonder at first what this has to do with your situation, but you refrain from speaking having a feeling that Hitch had more to say.
"What I'm trying to say Sunny is that there are things in this world which we all too often take for granted, when really, when its all said and done, they are what keeps us going" you can only agree with that statement
"We may live in a world in turmoil but its not a hopeless one, and you reminded me of that especially over the last few days. Your optimism, confidence and abilities in leadership makes you one of those ponies I want to protect"
You feel heat rush to your face in a slight blush.
"All I can do is care, but because of you, I realise that's all I need to do to be happy. Focusing on those little things is what will keep us sane" he notices your head is still angled downwards "Listen, I know how hard it is especially when you work so hard to get something only for it to blow up in our face, but you will try again, you will find another way to make Equestria a better place. D'you know how I know that?"
Your still lingering self-pity of yourself means you are unprepared for his answer
"Because you are Sunny Starscout, the most incredible pony I've ever met!"
You then feel the slight warmth of dappled sunlight breaking through the clouds. Your mindset feels much clearer now, and your smile returns, however this time it feels more genuine. The rays of sun poking through seem ever so slightly brighter, and you start to feel the swelling of doubt and sadness start to dissipate. Though Hitch still has a frown of dissatisfaction on his face. It is clear at least to him, that you are not fully accepting of the world around you.
"Sit down with me" Hitch instructs softly. You oblige and you both place yourselves on the grassy path leading towards the lighthouse. Contacting the soft grass is enough to make you focus on it as you nestle yourself into its soft blades. Amidst this a gentle sea breeze picked up and you could feel it rustling through your pink mane.
"Now take in three deep breaths for me Sunny and on the third breath I want you to close your eyes"
The sound of Hitch taking three deep, soothing breaths fills your ears, as they involuntarily twitch with satisfaction, as you close your eyes.
"Now the object of this is for you to clear your mind of any and all negative thoughts you have. Whether it be at the world or even at yourself. So what I want you to do is to focus on how the body feels. Examine it from the head to the hooves"
You feel the pulsing of your brain, pumping out negative thoughts that still exist inside, only to a lesser extent now that your close friend is by your side and comforting you. Hitch slowly continues naming the significant areas of the body from the head down.
"Now move down to the neck, now the chest, now the stomach and all the way down to your hooves. Just noticing how everything inside you feels. Noticing your breathing patterns, how fast it is or how slow it is, just focusing on how the body feels"
Hitch says all this with a soft, quiet tone. You initially don’t know how to react to this exercise, but you eventually relax into it. You begin to notice the things around you slightly more. The scent of the salty wind, something that always used to get you up in the morning, your hoof placed to your chest as it rises and falls with your steady breathing. Breathing that was once slowed because of depression was now slow from your gradually increasing relaxation.
"Allow any and all thoughts to come and go" Hitch continues, "Just noticing purely on how the body feels, living for the moment here and now"
You feel those negative thoughts persist, trying to return to your mind, but you are simply too relaxed, your mind is completely in control about the type of thoughts you are having. Thoughts of this impromptu meditation session, giving you your much needed headspace. Those distressing thoughts of self-hate, fear towards the outside world, now pushed to the back of your mind, in place of your new “living in the moment” mentality.
“Now whenever you are ready” You hear Hitch speak once more “Just gently opening the eyes”
You open your eyes very much at your own pace, and what you see around you, is a much brighter and fuller world, a world worth living in. You hear Hitch exhale, clearly having enjoyed the exercise as much as you did, your mind begins to wonder where he learned meditation in the first place.
“There, you feeling any better? I mean Pipp said its designed to clear the mind and make your mind not as busy so hopefully you are” Hitch chuckles nervously, only to stop worrying as he sees the bright smile on your face
“See” Hitch said with a smile even wider than yours “That's the Sunny I know, always the chipper and optimistic type.”
Your smile becomes even broader hearing that
Hitch then trots up to you and places a gentle hoof on your shoulder “Look, I know that all of Equestria’s problems weren’t solved straight away and through the means you were expecting but you must remember, these things take time. And that old expression that life is too short is just not true, as long as we live for every moment of every day, making even the smallest moments last forever. Take this moment right now, before you move anywhere, have a look inside of you and notice how you feel”
You feel a pleasing emptiness inside of you, as if you are an attic that has been cleared of cobwebs and dust, to reveal a much clearer and more optimistic view on the outside world. You turn outwards, and look out towards the neighbouring ocean. The sea completely calm safe for the rhythmic ripples just visible as it reflected off the dazzling rays of a now completely unobscured sun. The sea breeze whistles in and out of your nostrils as your close your eyes and take in a deep slow breath. You turn back to Hitch who is looking back at you with a happy expression.
“I think my work here is done” he says with a grin “But before I leave Sunny, remember this. No matter how hard the world gets, how many curveballs it throws your way, how tired it makes you feel, don’t stop caring about it. The real reason we are so cynical towards the world is because once something bad happens, we tend to give up on it, we dont see a point to being positive around it. But it's not the end of the world, as long as you keep trying and believe in yourself, you will get something out of it, you will be happy. But only as long as you care, and you are one of the most caring ponies I’ve ever met, the world needs ponies like you, I need ponies like you.”
That touching sentiment is enough for you to move towards Hitch and wrap your hooves around him in a hug. He returns it, and you feel yourself nestle deeper and deeper into his amber coloured fur. You think how amazing it is that a simple hug, especially from your close friend, manages to make one feel even more amazing than they already are. You once more hear Hitch’s soft masculine voice.
“Look I know it's hard, but what makes things harder is the fact that we are our own worst enemy. You set your expectations so high, that you were gonna set out to solve everything, when the truth is, no-pony can solve Equestria’s problems just like that. But as long as we remain positive we can keep going, keep finding a reason to love and live, to believe that we can make the world a better place. We can solve things little by little, as long as we keep believing. In the meantime, focus on the little moments that make living worthwhile, don't focus on the bigger picture, that's when ponies start to doubt themselves. Bit by bit, things will get better, if you just believe that it will, because if you of all ponies don’t, then I will struggle to find a reason to keep going as well”
You repeat his words in your head. Patience and belief are two things you valued in yourself before, so who's to say you should stop having those two things in mind where things go wrong. You pull away from Hitch, your embrace leaving you with a fuzziness inside. Hitch looks at you with a pleased expression on his face.
“You are probably wondering why I did this” Hitch says “Because knowing you, you were gonna go in there and mope for a very long time and that won’t help anyone. You should go in there now feeling like the world is worth living, that there is a point towards your dedication. Never give up hope Sunny Starscout, because that's all one needs to be happy. Go in there and give yourself a rest, it's been a long couple of days and you should be really proud of yourself.”
“And just for the record” Hitch continues as you begin to turn towards the lighthouse “If you ever feel like you are having doubts again, come to me. I will be more than happy to remind you of how amazing you are and how you of all ponies should continue having faith in this world”
You nod as you start to walk towards the lighthouse, with a slight spring in your step. You admire the grass around you, the now clear blue sky that was giving way to a glittering evening. You enter the lighthouse and you see the picture of you and your dad. Something tells you that you should be sad seeing this and being reminded of him, but instead you start to cry happy tears as you go to readjust the photograph that was tilted to one side. The happiness you feel inside makes everything around you seem clearer, that its worth being alive for every simple thing that exists. You feel like shouting out to the world how happy you feel, and how everything will be alright.
...
