Mindjacked

I watched my own mouth gape repeatedly as if I was some kind of aquatic animal outside of its natural habitat. I simply stared at the image in the mirror, and it stared back. Unfortunately, even this was difficult to do with one of my eyes betraying me and sliding off to the side. I growled and focused intently, temporarily straightening my vision and giving myself a mild headache in the process.

What had happened? I was sure that I was Bonbon, and figured I would continue to be her for quite a while. Apparently I had other plans even I wasn't aware of.

"Wait, that doesn't make sense."

I shook it off. Thinking about it right now would only give me a headache. Apparently I was some kind of... psychic stowaway. That's interesting, I had never heard of such a thing before, and flipping through Derpy's mind showed that she hadn't either. Though whether that meant they didn't exist, or Derpy's information was... limited, I couldn't tell.

"Perhaps I'm special? Unique?" I mumbled to myself and I had to admit, the thought was uplifting. Unique. I liked that word. I even rolled it around with my tongue a bit. Yup, still sounded good.

I hadn't realized how long I was at the mirror inspecting my new body (Bubbles for a cutie mark? I mean, really? Whatever could those mean?) but it couldn't have been more then a few minutes before I heard a knock at the door.

I paused and wracked Derpy's mind for who could be arriving so early. A glance at the clock revealed it was a little past six in the morning. Unfortunately the answer was elusive, and the mind of my current body was considerably less tame than Bonbon's had been.

I decided it would be easier to simply go and see who it was. It wasn't exactly easy though, as my fall down the stairs and the subsequent planting of my plot into my (Well, more like Derpy's) downstairs wall could attest to. How did Derpy do it? This confounded eye was wreaking havoc on my depth perception!

I pulled myself free from the wall with an unladylike grunt and turned to assess the damage to the wall. I face-hoofed when I saw many similarly shaped holes near where I had created mine, some of them haphazardly covered with plaster that hadn't yet been painted over.

"I guess this is a regular occurrence." I heard a deep voice behind me say. I turned again to see a dark brown pegasus stallion staring at me. He was somewhat large for a stallion, and his mane was a chestnut-like color, but slightly lighter than his coat.

"Uhm, hehe, yeah Mr..." Haste. "...Haste. Sorry Mr. Haste, but I had a little accident coming down the stairs." I couldn't help but flush slightly. It was a little embarrassing for him to be looking at the result of many similar accidents.

He nodded absently. "Yes, I can see that. I just wanted to come and make sure you were up and ready for your deliveries. They're particularly important today, as you know."

"Y-yeah, very important." I quickly tried to search through Derpy's mind for clues as to what I was delivering but came up short. Had she forgotten? Which would technically mean that I've forgotten?

Mr. Haste continued talking as he turned to leave, seemingly satisfied to simply see that I was up and about. "Yes well, just remember that EVERY pony in Ponyville needs an invitation. I'll be taking care of Cloudsdale."

"E-everypony?" I cringed at the little squeak that came out of my mouth and glanced fearfully at the gigantic mailbag on top of the kitchen table, filled to the brim with nothing but white envelopes complete with pretty pink borders and royal seals. I swallowed nervously. I'd only just become self-aware yesterday! How was I supposed to do this?!

Nevertheless, I tried to put on the most confident face I could manage and gave something akin to a salute. "D-don't worry Mr. Haste, you can count on me!"

The stallion cringed slightly on his way out the door. When he turned his head back to speak with me it looked like he was having trouble thinking of the right words to say; his mouth was making a motion oddly similar to the gaping I was doing at myself earlier in the mirror.

Eventually he simply sighed. "Just... do your best Derpy."

...And then he left.

"Well, that was a little rude." I mumbled as I... pouted? Can ponies pout? I assume they can, since that's what I'm doing. Or what I'm trying to do. It's hard to tell if I'm being successful without a mirror. What was I thinking about? Oh right, rude pony.

He didn't seem to have a lot of faith in Derpy getting the job done, and by extension, me, since I was Derpy at the moment.

This raised considerable ire for a reason I can't quite explain. Me? Incompetent? The idea was ludicrous; completely asinine. I was just as good as everypony else!

A small growl escaped from my throat and I blinked. That sounded kind of cute. Why does everything just make me sound or look cute? Can ponies be anything BUT cute?

I momentarily pondered this mystery of the universe before deciding that proving I was competent was more important. I grabbed the giant mailbag full of letters and looped the strap around my neck with considerable difficulty. It wasn't even because of Derpy's eyes this time; it was just surprisingly heavy for having nothing but paper in it.

"I'll show him. I'll do a great job, then toss it right in his face!" I puffed my chest out confidently and pushed open the door, eagerly greeting Celestia's sun. Just then I realized a little detail that might delay me slightly.

I bit my lip and expanded my new wings. "Okay, flight. How hard can it be? I see ponies flying around all the time. You just... flap, right?"

Taking my own advice, I just began flapping, hoping it would come naturally. At first it seemed to be working; I slowly rose into the air and moving a little away from my house, but it was quickly proven this was the wrong idea when I started half-falling half-flying back the way I came.

"Nononono not that way! Forward! FORWARD!" I flailed my hooves in a vain attempt to go the right direction as I crashed my plot through the wall directly to the left of my front door.

"I can fix that." I announced to nopony in particular. It just felt like something I should say. I pulled myself out of the hole with a sigh and turned to assess the damage. A sense of deja vu hit me and I face-hoofed as I saw a few sections of the house covered with new plaster in suspiciously Derpy-sized segments.

"Okay, walking then. I can handle that."

"I can't handle this!" I cried to the heavens as every pony walking on the street turned as one to look at me. As soon as they saw it was Derpy they just shrugged and continued with their day.

I rubbed at my eyes aggressively, cursing their very existence. How did Derpy handle this every single day? My respect for the clumsy mare had shot up in the last few hours and was still steadily rising.

I couldn't see straight, I couldn't walk straight, and I was barely able to even think straight!

I glanced in despair at the mailbag on my side. Even after delivering so many letters, I couldn't see if I had dented the veritable mountain of scrolls. I had even attempted to dig to the bottom, simply to check and make sure it wasn't some sort of endless mailbag. I had no idea if such things existed, but I was beginning to believe so, even though my preliminary inspection proved that my mailbag was not magical or enchanted in any way; merely very large.

I steeled myself and grabbed another message. This time... this time NOTHING would go wrong!

I trotted up to the next door and despite trying to boost my own confidence, I still gulped in nervousness. I lifted my hoof slowly and tapped gently on the door three times.

So far so good. I didn't break the door down this time.

I waited a few moments, being sure to stay absolutely still. Last time I got bored I accidentally tipped onto my side and when the pony came out I was quite embarrassed.

A light pink mare with a blueish mane opened up the door and gave me a welcoming smile.

"Hello Miss." I said, smiling at her, trying very hard to make it big and friendly. The last few houses had come out more like a grimace. I also tried not to make it sound like a question, as the first few houses I was expecting my brain to kick in and give me the names of all the ponies and when it did not I was left standing there like an idiot.

I passed the scroll to her, being very careful not to drop it. Not only was it rude, but I also discovered that I still had a massive amount of trouble picking things up with my hooves. That was pretty embarrassing too; it looked so easy but for some reason I couldn't do it.

I gave her a small hoof shake to be polite and thanked Celestia that I didn't accidentally punch somepony again because of my lack of depth perception.

She just kept smiling and uttered a small 'thank you' before closing the door.

I stood at the door for a moment blinking repeatedly before my eyes widened in shock. I had done it? I hadn't insulted, injured, or embarrassed anypony? I didn't even cause any property damage!

My smile threatened to split my face in half as I pranced happily out of the unknown mare's yard. I'd finally done something completely RIGHT! Even with Derpy's wonky eyesight and terrible luck weighing me down! I felt on top of the world! Nothing could bring me down during this single, perfect moment!

I tripped.

Not one of those little trips where you quickly catch yourself and just shrug it off. I mean one of those cartoonish banana peel trips, just without the banana peel. I ended up flipping head over hooves multiple times, chanting 'nonononono' in my head and trying to slow myself before I damaged something. Unfortunately it was not to be, as I eventually came to a stop thanks to a small, charming little white picket fence being directly in my path.

I cringed as I felt my plot crash directly into the fence surrounding the unknown mare's home, creating an awful racket. She opened the door up again and I flinched. Her warm smile gone, she merely glared at me.

"I... I can fix that." I mumbled pitifully, more to myself than to the pony.

She seemed to expect this response and just sighed, not even bothering to berate me. She just closed the door, and that was that.

Then why did it still hurt?

I sniffled a little, struggling to hold back tears. Why was this so hard? And why was I getting so upset? I don't even know any of these ponies, whether or not I disappoint them should mean nothing to me.

Yet it did. It meant a lot to me actually, and I didn't know why.

I contemplated while trying to hold back tears. Maybe this was a downside to hopping around pony's minds. I was experiencing all of these emotions and feelings that I've never felt before, and I didn't know what to do with them all.

Before I knew it I was just sitting dejectedly next to my mailbag, sniffling while the occasional tear ran down my cheek. When I looked up it appeared the ponies wanted to ask what was wrong, but didn't know how to go about approaching me. They simply kept walking.

"Are you okay Derpy?"

Except one, it seems like.

I sniffled again and looked up, brushing the traitorous tears out of my eyes. That lavender unicorn from yesterday was standing in front of me. Twilight Sparkle, I remembered.

"I-I'm fine. Go away." I winced at the crack in my own voice. It sounded so weak and helpless. I could already tell that I didn't like such a sound.

"Well you don't look fine to me." Twilight sat down in front of me, obviously not going anywhere. A flash of ire rose up from within me. Who did she think she was? Butting into my problems?

I raised my head to tell her such when I caught sight of the concerned look on her face and bit back my words. No, that wasn't the right thing to do; but then what should I do?

Unbidden, more tears came forth and my mouth practically started running on its own. "Oh Twilight it's just awful! I need to deliver all these invitations but... but there are so many ponies, and I keep screwing up! No matter how hard I try I just can't do a single thing right! Now I'll never get done on time and everypony will be so disappointed with me..." I looked up to the sun, noticing that it was high in the sky and just beginning its descent. Well over six hours had passed and I hadn't put any noticeable dent in the mailbag.

A small whine crept into my voice that I still regret ever letting out of my mouth. "I just don't know what went wroooong!" I think I accidentally channeled a bit of Derpy there as I dropped my head to stare at the ground.

She glanced at the bag, noticing it was most assuredly still bulging with scrolls. "Well, do you want some help?"

"Help?" I parroted, letting out a little sniffle in the process. "Why would you want to help me?"

Twilight seemed a bit put-off by the question, as if the answer was obvious. "Well, just because we're friends, and I want to help."

"We're... friends?" I repeated, liking the sound of that word too.

"Yeah, of course we are. Now you just sit right there for a minute, I saw Applejack and Rainbow just a moment ago and I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping out too. I'll be right back!" She trotted off the way she came and I just blinked stupidly for a few moments.

I had... friends?

I continued to look the way Twilight had run off, simply waiting for her to run back into view. I didn't have to wait long; just as she said she returned after only a minute or two with Rainbow Dash and Applejack in tow.

"Alright! Heard you needed a bit of help delivering letters Derpy? No problem, just let the fastest pony in Ponyville handle this!" Rainbow bragged as she pulled the mailbag off my shoulders and I relaxed a bit. I didn't realize how much that was weighing me down.

"Now settle down there Rainbow, we're all here to help so don't go flying off all by yourself." Applejack rebuked her, stepping down on Rainbow Dash's tail as she tried to take off, making Rainbow let out a small snort and raise her muzzle up in the air in indignation. I couldn't help it and I let out a small giggle.

"I... thank you all for this." I smiled as genuinely as I could manage, which turned out to be very easy when I as actually happy.

Applejack chuckled. "Aw shucks, it's no problem Derpy. Now come here, you look like you could use a hug." I froze the moment she made contact with me before quickly relaxing. We ended up having a nice little group hug right in the middle of the street; though Applejack had to pull Rainbow into it. She struggled quite a bit. To be honest I was still really unsure about physical contact and such but it felt... nice, and it felt like the right thing to do in this situation. Twilight just smiled at me and patted me on the back.

"No worries Derpy, that's what friends are for. Now come on, we have some letters to deliver." The lavender unicorn grinned and pulled out of the hug. She waved me forward and I walked side-by-side with her.

This felt pretty good. I actually have friends?

No. *You** don't.*

I flinched momentarily at the thought but tried to keep my inner turmoil off of my face so as not to worry the others. Yeah, that's right; they aren't my friends at all are they? They're Derpy's friends.

But... could they be my friends too?

How would I even go about doing that? So far I had only been taking the place of other ponies, but could I truly make friends only by taking the place of others?

Definitely something to look into. These 'friends'... I would like some too.

I didn't notice when my previously pained expression changed into a small smile, but Twilight seemed to.

The lavender unicorn giggled a little. "See, you look happier already!"

I beamed. Maybe I'd get all these delivered after all. Well, as long as I kept the accidents to a minimum. I blinked at that thought.

"Hold on a second girls." I said calmly as I walked to a nearby alley. I could practically feel their curiosity rolling off of them in waves.

When I walked back out again they seemed confused that nothing had changed. Well, until I turned sideways to walk alongside Twilight again.

"Uhm, Derpy... why do you have a box on your butt?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, clearly not going to let this slide as simply 'Derpy being Derpy.' Indeed, I had placed a large cardboard box over my rear end.

I stared her directly in the eyes with a completely serious expression. "Twilight, my plot is an extremely potent weapon of mass destruction. For Ponyville's continued safety I am attempting to contain it as best I can with the meager resources available to me, but I fear for us all."

Twilight just blinked stupidly for a moment at what I'm assuming was my suddenly increased vocabulary. Meanwhile it took a second for my words to process in Rainbow's head before it clicked what I was talking about and she burst out laughing, falling to the ground in a heap. Such laughter appeared to be contagious, as before long Applejack and Twilight joined her on the ground.

So there I stood; a wonky-eyed pegasus pony with a box on her butt just waiting for her friends to come to their senses and get back to their feet.

Surprisingly, Rainbow was the first to start to get herself under control. "Oh... oh dear Celestia Derpy, I really needed a good laugh like that. That was a pretty funny joke, thanks for that."

I turned toward her with a small little grin that I would later discover looked quite odd on Derpy's face. "You know what the best part was? That part where you thought I was joking."

I sighed happily as I sunk into my bed's soft sheets. Or rather, Derpy's soft bed sheets. Whatever, I didn't even care anymore.

Today actually turned out rather well despite having a horrendous start. A horrendous middle too for that matter. The end of the day was great though! The deliveries went so fast with help from Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It was so funny when they found out that they were delivering invitations to Cadence and Shining Armor's wedding; Twilight didn't even know her brother was getting married! Though I really can't say much, since I didn't even know what it was I was delivering in the first place.

Well, I had managed to make it through a single day as Derpy Hooves, and I had to say that my respect for the mare is now without equal. Keeping a smile on her face while everypony looks at her with either pity or resignation... it must be hard. At least she has such wonderful friends to help her through it.

Maybe someday they can be my wonderful friends too.

A blaring sound that I recognized as an alarm clock destroyed any semblance of sleep I had left. I groaned and looked out the nearby window; seeing Celestia's sun just barely peeking up from beyond the horizon.

"Why does everypony have to get up so early..." I grunted and flicked a hoof out towards the clock. I likely would have been surprised that it shattered on impact with my hoof if I was aware enough to pay attention to such a thing.

Now that the obnoxious noise had ceased, I sighed happily as I sank back into the pillows and prepared to go back to dream land...

My eyes shot open and I leaped out of the bed just as an orange and red blur crashed into my bed. I blinked slowly, now fully aware. I had no idea how I had known that was coming. Instinct?

"Aw Applejack... I was sure I was gonna get you this time." An adorable little filly said as it pouted at me, the large pink ribbon in her red mane seeming to serve no other purpose but to further accentuate her cuteness. Applebloom, my new mind helpfully supplied.

It appeared that she had tried to catch me unaware and jump me in my sleep. Probably a regular part of the morning for... Applejack.

I looked down at my hooves, noting how much harder and stronger they seemed than either Bonbon's or Derpy's. I then caught sight of the shattered alarm clock and grinned as it all clicked into place for me.

"Oooooh this is gonna be fun." I chuckled to myself while little Applebloom just blinked at me cutely.