Mindjacked

by Kouen

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 7339

Some kind of creature is loose in ponyville and is uncontrollably hopping between everyone's heads!

Something odd is happening in ponyville. A strange, unknown creature is wandering around in the minds of the ponies with what seems to be no rhyme nor reason. Of course, the ponies don't know that yet, but when they begin to hear about things they've done that they can't remember, or entire days that have seemingly vanished from their minds, a certain pony starts to get suspicious.

Meanwhile, you'll be able to get inside the head of ponyville's resident body-hopper. Just watch that first step…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-25 03:53:15 UTC

Facehoofed

For what seemed like a lifetime there was only darkness. There was no emotion, no feeling, no color. Just endlessly floating in a dark abyss.

Light did not appear slowly, as you may be expecting. Instead there was simply a swift crack of pain, and then it existed.

*SMACK*

"Ooooow..." Suddenly there was light and color everywhere. Through the blurry and shaky images I could see grass, trees, and a clear blue sky; though I wasn't sure how I knew exactly what these things were. I reflexively raised a hoof to my face, feeling a painful stinging sensation there.

I turned my eyes forward to see a mint green mare standing there. Lyra, I recalled, though deep down I knew I had never seen this mare before. Lyra had a hoof up in a punching position, but now had a confused look on her face, whereas a split second before she appeared furious.

These observations occurred in less then a second, during which my mind settled on the fact that she hit me. I brought my hoof up and punched her in the face, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Her face showed shock and some pain as she brought a hoof up to tentatively touch her cheek.

"You hit me." Lyra mumbled, still looking quite shocked.

"You started it." I replied back to her. Odd; I wasn't sure I even knew how to speak, but it came so naturally.

"I did?" She looked confused, then finally seemed to take notice of how I was also rubbing my own cheek. "But why did I hit you?"

I tried to think back and remember the reason, but oddly enough it wasn't there. Maybe I had acted too rashly?

Lyra took notice of something on the ground between us and picked it up. It was a raggedy old thing, all torn up and dirty. It looked kinda like a pony. Sort of.

"I think I remember this." She mumbled out. "We were... fighting for it?"

"For this old thing? It just looks like a piece of junk." I exclaimed, scrunching up my face. Lyra giggled at the expression, and I would later find out it was because it simply made me look more adorable rather than irritated.

"Please don't call her that!" I heard a voice yell over to my left. I turned to see a lavender unicorn trotting up to us, looking very frazzled. She also seemed to notice her own outburst and flushed slightly.

Twilight Sparkle, I remembered. I was starting to get a bit curious as to why I didn't know these mares, yet just as suddenly, it felt as if I did know them.

The little doll was covered in a purple field of energy and floated over to Twilight. "Sorry girls, her name is Smartypants and she's mine. I... might have cast a teensy weensy little spell over her that made ponies fight over her." Her flush got deeper as she looked down at the ground, having trouble meeting our eyes.

Lyra laughed it off, still absently rubbing her cheek. "Aw, no harm done. Though I do feel pretty silly for fighting over it, how about you Bonbon?"

Bonbon, the thought came again, unhindered. That's me. Wait, no its not. I'm not Bonbon... am I?

The two mares just kind of stared at me waiting for my response while a little war was going on in my head. After a moment Lyra just laughed and wrapped a hoof around me while looking at Twilight. "Don't mind her Twi, she's just sore that I hit her in the scuffle. She'll get over it."

The lavender mare managed to look both apologetic and thankful at the same time. "Sorry for the trouble. I'll just be heading back now."

"Bye Twilight!" Lyra waved as the unicorn trotted away before shooting me a glance. "You could have said something you know, she DID apologize." The mint green mare took her hoof off my shoulder and started trotting away before turning back to look at me a few steps away. "You hungry? My treat this time."

I was jarred out of my little internal debate by a deep rumble coming from my stomach. I had the decency to blush as Lyra laughed at me and waved me over.

It really was a nice little shop, I told myself as I munched away at a cupcake. Sugarcube corner, my mind helpfully supplied. Me and Lyra were just eating and laughing about nothing in particular, which was a good thing because if the topic turned to something where my input was useful I'd have probably gotten tongue-tied by my lack of knowledge of what exactly was going on.

I was Bonbon... but I wasn't. I somehow knew I wasn't supposed to be Bonbon. But then why do I know what Bonbon knows? What she should feel? It made my head hurt.

I took another bite of the cupcake. If the bite seemed a little more vicious than it should have been for dealing with a small confectionery covered in sprinkles, it was your imagination.

I scrunched my face up from the mild headache and reached for my glass of apple juice, noticing my reflection in the glass. The frustration face really was kind of adorable on Bonbon. I vowed to do it as little as possible.

I watched Lyra devour large amounts of the treats with a kind of morbid fascination, still talking perfectly well even while eating. It must take a certain amount of skill to do such a thing.

She's beautiful. Meh, she's okay I guess. I took a sip of my apple juice while staring at her, trying to see what my mind was apparently seeing in her.

Lyra had by this point noticed my staring and laughed while brushing a hoof through her hair as if she was some kind of high-class pony from Canterlot. "Like what you see?" She made several very exaggerated blinking motions and I couldn't help but let out a giggle. It looked so wrong on her face, especially when she was trying to stop from giggling herself.

"I guess you could say that." I joked.

Lyra dropped the 'prim and proper' act and stretched in her odd, upright way of sitting before dropping some bits onto the table and hopping off her seat. "What do you say we head home then? Been a long day."

I looked out the window to see that the sun was indeed beginning to set. It must have already been pretty far into the day when I became aware.

I nodded and followed her out, waving to a happy pink pony on the way out (Pinkie Pie, my mind helpfully supplied.) and walking calmly next to Lyra as she chatted animatedly about this and that. I'm beginning to think that Bonbon wasn't incredibly talkative in the first place, which is why the mint green mare has no qualms about filling the void of silence.

Looking down into the road I noticed a small letter with what looked to be a royal seal on the front. I raised an eyebrow and picked it up, Lyra looking at me curiously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, that's mine. Thanks for finding it!"

I looked up to see a grey mare with a blond mane and crossed eyes looking right at me. Or a least... I think she was trying to look at me. One eye kept going off where it shouldn't. It was a little creepy to be honest, but the big smile she was giving me alleviated it quite a bit. Derpy Hooves, my brain helpfully supplied. Thanks brain.

"Thanks so much for finding it, I would have gotten in a lot of trouble if I lost any before my deliveries even started." If possible her smile widened further and she hugged me. I was a little caught off guard but it wasn't unpleasant. I smiled and hugged her back.

"No problem Derpy, have a nice night." She nodded and flew off, bumping into the side of a roof on the way up but keeping a firm grasp on the letter.

Lyra just rolled her eyes and I giggled, I guess Derpy was just always like that.

As we neared what I believed to be Lyra's and Bonbon's house (They were roommates. Thanks brain!) the topic steadily drifted towards something that I was probably supposed to be listening to, as her tone got somber.

"I know you don't like trying to talk about it, but, are you sure you're okay with this? Us, I mean."

I looked at her curiously, not really knowing what she was talking about. "Of course Lyra, why wouldn't I be?"

She avoided looking me in the eyes and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on something.

"Well I feel like I'm being kind of selfish, but you never complain or anything." Lyra mumbled out, dragging her feet a bit.

I bit my lip, suddenly feeling really out of my element and wondering what exactly I was missing here. "Well uhm, don't worry about it. I'll tell you if I have a problem with anything, okay?"

Lyra nodded but kept her head down. When we arrived home she held open the door for me. I smiled and walked inside, recognizing the quaint, homely building despite never having seen it before personally.

I heard the door lock behind me with a small 'click' and turned to see Lyra walking towards me. At the same time something in my head seemed to 'click' as well and I started piecing things together, a bead of sweat running down my face. All the physical contact, plus paying for lunch; which was in retrospect probably a date, her talk about 'us'...

'Oh no. Oh no no no no no, don't tell me Lyra and Bonbon are- We're together. -Horseapples! I said don't tell me that!'

Before I could get a word in edgewise Lyra was already pressed against me and giving me a soft kiss, thankfully not one of those super passionate ones between serious couples or else I would have freaked out a lot more than I did. I still sorta freaked out though.

My mind was running a mile a minute as I pushed her away, being careful not to just shove her across the room. Don't get me wrong, I kinda liked it, but I was pretty sure that was just the Bonbon part of me, while the other part that was actually 'me' was the one freaking out.

She still looked kind of hurt though and I swear my heart broke at her big watery eyes. "Just- just give me a minute to think." I stammered out and rushed up the stairs, my mind already instinctively going towards Bonbon's room.

After I shut the door and slid to the floor I started breathing like I'd run a marathon. Sure it was probably normal for Lyra and Bonbon and it was just a little peck on the lips but I still wasn't Bonbon even though I kinda was at the same time. Half of me was happy about it and the other half practically viewed it as a stranger kissing me that I had only known for a few hours.

Maybe I could sort through Bonbon's head to see what this is about. I mean, I know everything she does, its just kinda hidden away like a really big library. So I could just... look around in it, right? I didn't really know how it worked. Before my mind was just pulling out the names of ponies and places when they were necessary, sometimes with random Bonbon-ish comments working their way into my thoughts. I hadn't dug around in her head to find anything specific yet. It couldn't be that hard.

I lid down on her bed and tried that whole 'looking inside of yourself' thing that's in those sappy plays Bonbon likes. Turns out that's either pretty hard to do or it was useless advice because it accomplished nothing.

After that I merely tried to will any memory up that had to do with Lyra and Bonbon's relationship. That worked a bit better, and is what I think I was doing on instinct earlier; quickly dragging up names of ponies I needed to know.

Unfortunately it also created a rush of memories I could barely make sense of, and also gave me a few I really didn't need to see. I blushed and shoved them back to Bonbon's side of our head.

I actually also tried to 'wake' her, as the only comparison I could make to make sense of what was going on was that she was 'sleeping'. Not exactly the same, but I couldn't think of anything else. At any rate, that didn't work either. She was out like a light; I'm assuming because of me. Not a pleasant thought, and I hoped she'd wake up eventually.

After about an hour of trying to get this to work I actually stumbled upon something successful, which is funny because it was the first idea I had. I imagined Bonbon's mind as a library.

Every bit of information Bonbon had ever acquired; whether it was informative, personal, or even forgotten memories, were all books inside of a gigantic library. It was like I was doing two things at once; walking through this library in my head (more like Bonbon's head) while also staring at the wall of her room.

It was actually an amazing feeling. I could discover anything I wanted to. I just had to pluck the book off the shelf that had what I wanted, and 'skim' it until I found what I needed to know. A lot more difficult than that instinctive 'pull' of information when I needed something immediately, but still very helpful.

I decided to not be nosy and just looked for what I needed.

It seemed like mare-on-mare relationships were at least well tolerated in Equestria, so that couldn't be it. Sure there were ponies that didn't like it because it wasn't 'natural' but overall they were well-received. Which seemed understandable to me, since just from walking around ponyville I could see that the population was heavily skewed towards females. I saw maybe three stallions the whole day, and that was pushing it.

The problem, it seemed, was Lyra's parents in Canterlot. They always wanted her to find a nice stallion to settle down with and give them grandchildren, and were not much for the idea of 'fillyfoolers'. Lyra was thrilled that they were so proud of her when she moved out and started getting steady work as a musician, and is now terrified they'd be disappointed with her and didn't want to come out about the relationship with Bonbon.

"Ah." I mumbled to myself out loud. "That's what she meant when she said she thought she was being selfish."

In a way it kind of was, but Bonbon seemed to love her enough to put up with it, even though she wanted to be open about it according to all these other thoughts in her 'library'. Most of the books got immediately shoved back onto the shelf to avoid embarrassment.

I probably did a bad thing then. Lyra thinks Bonbon is mad at her when the 'real' Bonbon isn't even here.

"Should I just ignore it?..." I muttered and felt a slight pang in my heart from the thought. Whether it was meant to be Bonbon's response to my thoughts or my own, I had no idea. I just knew the idea seemed bad all around.

I stood up and moved to go back downstairs. "I'll just try to fix things for Bonbon. How hard could it be?"

Pretty hard apparently. Lyra just looked sad, but she wasn't crying or anything yet. Meanwhile, I was just trying to get words to come out of my stupid mouth. Speaking for somepony you had never technically met, and yet you knew everything about, while pretending to be that pony you had never met was actually pretty difficult. Who knew?

I sighed and walked out into the living room. Lyra looked up at me and bit her lip, obviously thinking she did something wrong earlier when she kissed me, when in reality it was just because I wasn't actually her lover.

I sat next to her and quirked a small smile at her odd posture. "How do you manage to sit like that?"

She laughed a little and shrugged from her upright position. "I don't know. Its just comfortable." From the response I figured this was probably something Bonbon asked all the time.

"Look, for what its worth, I'm sorry I pushed you Lyra. I was just a little upset." I tested the waters.

"No, its okay. I know you're frustrated with how long this has been going on and just don't want anything to do with it anymore." She sniffled a little. Ouch, strike one. Guilt shot should be against the rules.

Unfortunately I hadn't seen exactly how long this was going on, but I could assume it was a while from Lyra's speech. I just happened to hop into Bonbon's body at a bad time.

"Well, I can't say I wouldn't like it if we were more open about it; or told your parents." I bit my lip and added as an afterthought. "If you're okay with it."

"But I just can't!" She wailed, and I was a little caught off guard. It kinda came out of nowhere. Is that strike two? "Don't you see? I've ALWAYS been the weird one, causing my parents trouble with my theories on magic, or humans, or... or anything! When I told them about how steadily my popularity has been rising with music, and how I might even be considered to play at the next gala... they were so proud of me." She sniffled again and looked down at her front hooves. I didn't know what humans were either, but I don't think it was important to what she was saying.

"I don't think I've seen that expression on their faces since I got my cutie mark so long ago." Lyra sighed. "I don't want to go back to being a disappointment. Even if its just an illusion, I... I want them to be able to look at me and say to others 'that's my daughter!'" She exclaimed, pointing in an exaggerated manner, which only brought more attention to her odd posture. She seemed to notice this as well and just sighed again. "You see? I'm always the weird one."

"But I don't care about that, and they shouldn't either." I said without hesitation, then blinked at how easily that came to me. "I love you for who you are, and it hurts to see you have to hide it like this." The words were coming more easily now. "We see couples outside all the time. Hugging, kissing, just enjoying loving each other. Why should you have to hide it? It's a part of you, and you should be proud of it, just like they should be."

"B-but I..." She stuttered out. The words seemed to help a little, but not enough. I kissed her.

Just another of those little peck on the lip kisses, but oddly I didn't get that feeling again like she was a complete stranger, even though she obviously still was. Was it really that easy? To just let myself go and end up doing exactly what Bonbon would have done? It was an interesting thought. It's like I was capable of channeling my inner Bonbon.

I stood up and looked back at her as I walked away. "Just think about it, please. I still want to be able to love you outside of our own house. We'll talk more in the morning." I called as I ascended the stairs again. I heard a 'Thanks, Bonbon' from behind me and smiled. Once I got started talking it wasn't too bad. I mean, it probably wouldn't fix everything. It might not even fix anything, but it's okay for a little while. Once Bonbon wakes up inside my head, she can fix it herself.

I was actually feeling very drained, despite not doing much today. I decided to just think about it later, sleep was more important.

I hopped into Bonbon's bed, marveling at how warm it was. Have I ever even been in a bed before? I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I awoke to some awful noise blaring right next to me. Alarm clock. I groaned and tried to ignore it. It felt like I barely got any sleep last night.

I reached a hoof over and started thumping widely in the direction of the clock, trying to make it stop. When that ultimately failed, I sighed and got up to start the day. Beginning with stopping that bucking clock.

I picked it up, having a somewhat difficult time. My depth perception seemed somewhat off and at first when I tried to pick the clock up I almost pushed it off the nightstand.

I yawned and stepped off the bed, holding my head as I started seeing in almost double vision. What was wrong with me? When I stepped forward I had to be especially careful not to fall. My hooves didn't want to go the proper way, it seemed.

I finally got my answer when I walked up to the only mirror in the room. In fact, the room itself was much different than the one I remembered falling asleep in.

No cream colored coat stared back at me, or dark blue mane with that cute pink stripe through it. Instead my coat was a greyish color, and my mane had now become blond.

My eyes were also crossed, making it difficult to look properly at the reflection.

I was now Derpy Hooves.

....Horseapples.

I'm... Derpy!?

I watched my own mouth gape repeatedly as if I was some kind of aquatic animal outside of its natural habitat. I simply stared at the image in the mirror, and it stared back. Unfortunately, even this was difficult to do with one of my eyes betraying me and sliding off to the side. I growled and focused intently, temporarily straightening my vision and giving myself a mild headache in the process.

What had happened? I was sure that I was Bonbon, and figured I would continue to be her for quite a while. Apparently I had other plans even I wasn't aware of.

"Wait, that doesn't make sense."

I shook it off. Thinking about it right now would only give me a headache. Apparently I was some kind of... psychic stowaway. That's interesting, I had never heard of such a thing before, and flipping through Derpy's mind showed that she hadn't either. Though whether that meant they didn't exist, or Derpy's information was... limited, I couldn't tell.

"Perhaps I'm special? Unique?" I mumbled to myself and I had to admit, the thought was uplifting. Unique. I liked that word. I even rolled it around with my tongue a bit. Yup, still sounded good.

I hadn't realized how long I was at the mirror inspecting my new body (Bubbles for a cutie mark? I mean, really? Whatever could those mean?) but it couldn't have been more then a few minutes before I heard a knock at the door.

I paused and wracked Derpy's mind for who could be arriving so early. A glance at the clock revealed it was a little past six in the morning. Unfortunately the answer was elusive, and the mind of my current body was considerably less tame than Bonbon's had been.

I decided it would be easier to simply go and see who it was. It wasn't exactly easy though, as my fall down the stairs and the subsequent planting of my plot into my (Well, more like Derpy's) downstairs wall could attest to. How did Derpy do it? This confounded eye was wreaking havoc on my depth perception!

I pulled myself free from the wall with an unladylike grunt and turned to assess the damage to the wall. I face-hoofed when I saw many similarly shaped holes near where I had created mine, some of them haphazardly covered with plaster that hadn't yet been painted over.

"I guess this is a regular occurrence." I heard a deep voice behind me say. I turned again to see a dark brown pegasus stallion staring at me. He was somewhat large for a stallion, and his mane was a chestnut-like color, but slightly lighter than his coat.

"Uhm, hehe, yeah Mr..." Haste. "...Haste. Sorry Mr. Haste, but I had a little accident coming down the stairs." I couldn't help but flush slightly. It was a little embarrassing for him to be looking at the result of many similar accidents.

He nodded absently. "Yes, I can see that. I just wanted to come and make sure you were up and ready for your deliveries. They're particularly important today, as you know."

"Y-yeah, very important." I quickly tried to search through Derpy's mind for clues as to what I was delivering but came up short. Had she forgotten? Which would technically mean that I've forgotten?

Mr. Haste continued talking as he turned to leave, seemingly satisfied to simply see that I was up and about. "Yes well, just remember that EVERY pony in Ponyville needs an invitation. I'll be taking care of Cloudsdale."

"E-everypony?" I cringed at the little squeak that came out of my mouth and glanced fearfully at the gigantic mailbag on top of the kitchen table, filled to the brim with nothing but white envelopes complete with pretty pink borders and royal seals. I swallowed nervously. I'd only just become self-aware yesterday! How was I supposed to do this?!

Nevertheless, I tried to put on the most confident face I could manage and gave something akin to a salute. "D-don't worry Mr. Haste, you can count on me!"

The stallion cringed slightly on his way out the door. When he turned his head back to speak with me it looked like he was having trouble thinking of the right words to say; his mouth was making a motion oddly similar to the gaping I was doing at myself earlier in the mirror.

Eventually he simply sighed. "Just... do your best Derpy."

...And then he left.

"Well, that was a little rude." I mumbled as I... pouted? Can ponies pout? I assume they can, since that's what I'm doing. Or what I'm trying to do. It's hard to tell if I'm being successful without a mirror. What was I thinking about? Oh right, rude pony.

He didn't seem to have a lot of faith in Derpy getting the job done, and by extension, me, since I was Derpy at the moment.

This raised considerable ire for a reason I can't quite explain. Me? Incompetent? The idea was ludicrous; completely asinine. I was just as good as everypony else!

A small growl escaped from my throat and I blinked. That sounded kind of cute. Why does everything just make me sound or look cute? Can ponies be anything BUT cute?

I momentarily pondered this mystery of the universe before deciding that proving I was competent was more important. I grabbed the giant mailbag full of letters and looped the strap around my neck with considerable difficulty. It wasn't even because of Derpy's eyes this time; it was just surprisingly heavy for having nothing but paper in it.

"I'll show him. I'll do a great job, then toss it right in his face!" I puffed my chest out confidently and pushed open the door, eagerly greeting Celestia's sun. Just then I realized a little detail that might delay me slightly.

I bit my lip and expanded my new wings. "Okay, flight. How hard can it be? I see ponies flying around all the time. You just... flap, right?"

Taking my own advice, I just began flapping, hoping it would come naturally. At first it seemed to be working; I slowly rose into the air and moving a little away from my house, but it was quickly proven this was the wrong idea when I started half-falling half-flying back the way I came.

"Nononono not that way! Forward! FORWARD!" I flailed my hooves in a vain attempt to go the right direction as I crashed my plot through the wall directly to the left of my front door.

"I can fix that." I announced to nopony in particular. It just felt like something I should say. I pulled myself out of the hole with a sigh and turned to assess the damage. A sense of deja vu hit me and I face-hoofed as I saw a few sections of the house covered with new plaster in suspiciously Derpy-sized segments.

"Okay, walking then. I can handle that."

"I can't handle this!" I cried to the heavens as every pony walking on the street turned as one to look at me. As soon as they saw it was Derpy they just shrugged and continued with their day.

I rubbed at my eyes aggressively, cursing their very existence. How did Derpy handle this every single day? My respect for the clumsy mare had shot up in the last few hours and was still steadily rising.

I couldn't see straight, I couldn't walk straight, and I was barely able to even think straight!

I glanced in despair at the mailbag on my side. Even after delivering so many letters, I couldn't see if I had dented the veritable mountain of scrolls. I had even attempted to dig to the bottom, simply to check and make sure it wasn't some sort of endless mailbag. I had no idea if such things existed, but I was beginning to believe so, even though my preliminary inspection proved that my mailbag was not magical or enchanted in any way; merely very large.

I steeled myself and grabbed another message. This time... this time NOTHING would go wrong!

I trotted up to the next door and despite trying to boost my own confidence, I still gulped in nervousness. I lifted my hoof slowly and tapped gently on the door three times.

So far so good. I didn't break the door down this time.

I waited a few moments, being sure to stay absolutely still. Last time I got bored I accidentally tipped onto my side and when the pony came out I was quite embarrassed.

A light pink mare with a blueish mane opened up the door and gave me a welcoming smile.

"Hello Miss." I said, smiling at her, trying very hard to make it big and friendly. The last few houses had come out more like a grimace. I also tried not to make it sound like a question, as the first few houses I was expecting my brain to kick in and give me the names of all the ponies and when it did not I was left standing there like an idiot.

I passed the scroll to her, being very careful not to drop it. Not only was it rude, but I also discovered that I still had a massive amount of trouble picking things up with my hooves. That was pretty embarrassing too; it looked so easy but for some reason I couldn't do it.

I gave her a small hoof shake to be polite and thanked Celestia that I didn't accidentally punch somepony again because of my lack of depth perception.

She just kept smiling and uttered a small 'thank you' before closing the door.

I stood at the door for a moment blinking repeatedly before my eyes widened in shock. I had done it? I hadn't insulted, injured, or embarrassed anypony? I didn't even cause any property damage!

My smile threatened to split my face in half as I pranced happily out of the unknown mare's yard. I'd finally done something completely RIGHT! Even with Derpy's wonky eyesight and terrible luck weighing me down! I felt on top of the world! Nothing could bring me down during this single, perfect moment!

I tripped.

Not one of those little trips where you quickly catch yourself and just shrug it off. I mean one of those cartoonish banana peel trips, just without the banana peel. I ended up flipping head over hooves multiple times, chanting 'nonononono' in my head and trying to slow myself before I damaged something. Unfortunately it was not to be, as I eventually came to a stop thanks to a small, charming little white picket fence being directly in my path.

I cringed as I felt my plot crash directly into the fence surrounding the unknown mare's home, creating an awful racket. She opened the door up again and I flinched. Her warm smile gone, she merely glared at me.

"I... I can fix that." I mumbled pitifully, more to myself than to the pony.

She seemed to expect this response and just sighed, not even bothering to berate me. She just closed the door, and that was that.

Then why did it still hurt?

I sniffled a little, struggling to hold back tears. Why was this so hard? And why was I getting so upset? I don't even know any of these ponies, whether or not I disappoint them should mean nothing to me.

Yet it did. It meant a lot to me actually, and I didn't know why.

I contemplated while trying to hold back tears. Maybe this was a downside to hopping around pony's minds. I was experiencing all of these emotions and feelings that I've never felt before, and I didn't know what to do with them all.

Before I knew it I was just sitting dejectedly next to my mailbag, sniffling while the occasional tear ran down my cheek. When I looked up it appeared the ponies wanted to ask what was wrong, but didn't know how to go about approaching me. They simply kept walking.

"Are you okay Derpy?"

Except one, it seems like.

I sniffled again and looked up, brushing the traitorous tears out of my eyes. That lavender unicorn from yesterday was standing in front of me. Twilight Sparkle, I remembered.

"I-I'm fine. Go away." I winced at the crack in my own voice. It sounded so weak and helpless. I could already tell that I didn't like such a sound.

"Well you don't look fine to me." Twilight sat down in front of me, obviously not going anywhere. A flash of ire rose up from within me. Who did she think she was? Butting into my problems?

I raised my head to tell her such when I caught sight of the concerned look on her face and bit back my words. No, that wasn't the right thing to do; but then what should I do?

Unbidden, more tears came forth and my mouth practically started running on its own. "Oh Twilight it's just awful! I need to deliver all these invitations but... but there are so many ponies, and I keep screwing up! No matter how hard I try I just can't do a single thing right! Now I'll never get done on time and everypony will be so disappointed with me..." I looked up to the sun, noticing that it was high in the sky and just beginning its descent. Well over six hours had passed and I hadn't put any noticeable dent in the mailbag.

A small whine crept into my voice that I still regret ever letting out of my mouth. "I just don't know what went wroooong!" I think I accidentally channeled a bit of Derpy there as I dropped my head to stare at the ground.

She glanced at the bag, noticing it was most assuredly still bulging with scrolls. "Well, do you want some help?"

"Help?" I parroted, letting out a little sniffle in the process. "Why would you want to help me?"

Twilight seemed a bit put-off by the question, as if the answer was obvious. "Well, just because we're friends, and I want to help."

"We're... friends?" I repeated, liking the sound of that word too.

"Yeah, of course we are. Now you just sit right there for a minute, I saw Applejack and Rainbow just a moment ago and I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping out too. I'll be right back!" She trotted off the way she came and I just blinked stupidly for a few moments.

I had... friends?

I continued to look the way Twilight had run off, simply waiting for her to run back into view. I didn't have to wait long; just as she said she returned after only a minute or two with Rainbow Dash and Applejack in tow.

"Alright! Heard you needed a bit of help delivering letters Derpy? No problem, just let the fastest pony in Ponyville handle this!" Rainbow bragged as she pulled the mailbag off my shoulders and I relaxed a bit. I didn't realize how much that was weighing me down.

"Now settle down there Rainbow, we're all here to help so don't go flying off all by yourself." Applejack rebuked her, stepping down on Rainbow Dash's tail as she tried to take off, making Rainbow let out a small snort and raise her muzzle up in the air in indignation. I couldn't help it and I let out a small giggle.

"I... thank you all for this." I smiled as genuinely as I could manage, which turned out to be very easy when I as actually happy.

Applejack chuckled. "Aw shucks, it's no problem Derpy. Now come here, you look like you could use a hug." I froze the moment she made contact with me before quickly relaxing. We ended up having a nice little group hug right in the middle of the street; though Applejack had to pull Rainbow into it. She struggled quite a bit. To be honest I was still really unsure about physical contact and such but it felt... nice, and it felt like the right thing to do in this situation. Twilight just smiled at me and patted me on the back.

"No worries Derpy, that's what friends are for. Now come on, we have some letters to deliver." The lavender unicorn grinned and pulled out of the hug. She waved me forward and I walked side-by-side with her.

This felt pretty good. I actually have friends?

No. *You** don't.*

I flinched momentarily at the thought but tried to keep my inner turmoil off of my face so as not to worry the others. Yeah, that's right; they aren't my friends at all are they? They're Derpy's friends.

But... could they be my friends too?

How would I even go about doing that? So far I had only been taking the place of other ponies, but could I truly make friends only by taking the place of others?

Definitely something to look into. These 'friends'... I would like some too.

I didn't notice when my previously pained expression changed into a small smile, but Twilight seemed to.

The lavender unicorn giggled a little. "See, you look happier already!"

I beamed. Maybe I'd get all these delivered after all. Well, as long as I kept the accidents to a minimum. I blinked at that thought.

"Hold on a second girls." I said calmly as I walked to a nearby alley. I could practically feel their curiosity rolling off of them in waves.

When I walked back out again they seemed confused that nothing had changed. Well, until I turned sideways to walk alongside Twilight again.

"Uhm, Derpy... why do you have a box on your butt?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, clearly not going to let this slide as simply 'Derpy being Derpy.' Indeed, I had placed a large cardboard box over my rear end.

I stared her directly in the eyes with a completely serious expression. "Twilight, my plot is an extremely potent weapon of mass destruction. For Ponyville's continued safety I am attempting to contain it as best I can with the meager resources available to me, but I fear for us all."

Twilight just blinked stupidly for a moment at what I'm assuming was my suddenly increased vocabulary. Meanwhile it took a second for my words to process in Rainbow's head before it clicked what I was talking about and she burst out laughing, falling to the ground in a heap. Such laughter appeared to be contagious, as before long Applejack and Twilight joined her on the ground.

So there I stood; a wonky-eyed pegasus pony with a box on her butt just waiting for her friends to come to their senses and get back to their feet.

Surprisingly, Rainbow was the first to start to get herself under control. "Oh... oh dear Celestia Derpy, I really needed a good laugh like that. That was a pretty funny joke, thanks for that."

I turned toward her with a small little grin that I would later discover looked quite odd on Derpy's face. "You know what the best part was? That part where you thought I was joking."

I sighed happily as I sunk into my bed's soft sheets. Or rather, Derpy's soft bed sheets. Whatever, I didn't even care anymore.

Today actually turned out rather well despite having a horrendous start. A horrendous middle too for that matter. The end of the day was great though! The deliveries went so fast with help from Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It was so funny when they found out that they were delivering invitations to Cadence and Shining Armor's wedding; Twilight didn't even know her brother was getting married! Though I really can't say much, since I didn't even know what it was I was delivering in the first place.

Well, I had managed to make it through a single day as Derpy Hooves, and I had to say that my respect for the mare is now without equal. Keeping a smile on her face while everypony looks at her with either pity or resignation... it must be hard. At least she has such wonderful friends to help her through it.

Maybe someday they can be my wonderful friends too.

A blaring sound that I recognized as an alarm clock destroyed any semblance of sleep I had left. I groaned and looked out the nearby window; seeing Celestia's sun just barely peeking up from beyond the horizon.

"Why does everypony have to get up so early..." I grunted and flicked a hoof out towards the clock. I likely would have been surprised that it shattered on impact with my hoof if I was aware enough to pay attention to such a thing.

Now that the obnoxious noise had ceased, I sighed happily as I sank back into the pillows and prepared to go back to dream land...

My eyes shot open and I leaped out of the bed just as an orange and red blur crashed into my bed. I blinked slowly, now fully aware. I had no idea how I had known that was coming. Instinct?

"Aw Applejack... I was sure I was gonna get you this time." An adorable little filly said as it pouted at me, the large pink ribbon in her red mane seeming to serve no other purpose but to further accentuate her cuteness. Applebloom, my new mind helpfully supplied.

It appeared that she had tried to catch me unaware and jump me in my sleep. Probably a regular part of the morning for... Applejack.

I looked down at my hooves, noting how much harder and stronger they seemed than either Bonbon's or Derpy's. I then caught sight of the shattered alarm clock and grinned as it all clicked into place for me.

"Oooooh this is gonna be fun." I chuckled to myself while little Applebloom just blinked at me cutely.