Mistress Massage

The Battle of the Bands wasn’t personal.

Not to the sirens, anyway. They had fought ponies, heroes, and monsters over the course of their long lives, and sometimes they lost. The key was always to survive, and not lose focus in petty tantrums or premature celebration. That’s where Sunset Shimmer failed, letting the sirens escape in the delusion that their threat was gone.

Not that she could have caught them. The sirens were always careful, always smart, letting their magic haze image and memory. Even the Harmony-protected humans could only recall them to appear bland and forgettable – a far cry from their true nature.

Still, it was a bitter defeat. Their magic had faded slowly for an age, and now it was utterly gone. No hypnotic voice, no more illusions or charms. But they had always been careful, and the past millennium had not been idle. Hoarded wealth set them up to live human lifetimes in comfort. Tongues honed by years of intrigue could still twist dupes to their will, magic or no. And they had so many skills, learned from virtuosos in palaces and temples: incense and oils, massage and pleasure, song and seduction. They could earn fine livings as mundane women, if such was the ambition.

Of course, that would never do. A bitter defeat, but their bickering that night soon turned to new schemes. Their magic was stolen by the Elements of Harmony – the Elements could give them back. Perhaps their bearers could be kidnapped and forced, but force was never the sirens’ strength. Patiently, carefully, other plans were made. It was their last chance, after all, and would require all of their skills.

Not for revenge, heavens no. It wasn’t personal.

But it would be... satisfying, in more ways than one.

Spinach, radishes, carrots… Sunset Shimmer often got compliments from the old ladies running the grocery store checkouts. Equestrians ate mostly vegetables, and she kept her taste for them in the human world. From what she learned in health class, that was quite an advantage.

One she did her best to share, but luring her friends away from the matter most humans ate was easier said than done.

She held the phone with one hand, smiling dryly as she used her other to pick out a few beets. “Yeah I know what the cartoons say, but you’d be surprised how good real borscht is. I’ll make some for you next weekend and I guarantee...”

A laugh escaped as a retching sound emerged from the other end. White gleamed from her mouth as she pushed the cart onward. “Come on, Rainbow. We’re seniors now. Technically we’re all adults – Pinkie’s birthday was last week and she’s the youngest. Gotta start taking care of ourselves.”

She laughed again at the reply. “Tell you what: get a bag of spinach, and see if you can just eat it like chips while watching TV. Twilight said that works for her, and...”

The cart came to an intersection at the halls. Sunset pushed slow and careful, but someone sped out at the last instant. Her cart rocked, and Sunset saw blue and pink as the newcomer spun. The slim, blue girl threw her arms wide, releasing a small mountain of collected groceries before falling to the floor.

“Whoa! Call you back.” Sunset pocketed the phone and knelt to the girl at once. Dark pink eyes blinked owlishly behind large plastic glasses, still evidently in shock at the fall.

“You okay?” Sunset asked.

The girl’s eyes focused on her, then cringed backwards. “Sorry!”

Blue skin, two-tone blue hair in a single ponytail… something about her tickled at Sunset’s memory, but no answer came. The girl began picking up her groceries – darn near twenty things, about half of them snacks.

“Sorry about that,” Sunset said lamely. At least no one seemed injured. She remained kneeling, at eye level with the girl.

As she picked up her eighth item, another slipped from her grasp. Sunset had no idea how she came to carry everything in the first place.

“Why didn’t you use a cart?”

“I only came for a few things,” the girl mumbled anxiously. She glanced to Sunset, then winced and looked away. “But then I decided I wanted cookies, and that made me want ice cream, and then whenever I eat sweets I crave salty things after so I got some chips to be safe, and chips need salsa, so...”

Sunset chuckled gently and took the obvious course. “Here, use mine. No way you can carry all this yourself.”

The girl blinked up to Sunset, scratching the hem of a knit pink jacket more fit for a grandma than a young adult. Sunset put the first few groceries in her cart then reached for more. When Sunset bent down a third time, the girl meekly complied and began loading it up.

The task was done quickly. Sunset glanced to the girl, who kept her eyes on her shoes.

“I’m Sunset. What’s your name?” Sunset offered calmly.

The girl mumbled.

“Sorry?”

“Sonata,” she said. “Th-thanks.”

“No problem,” Sunset promised. “I just need milk. How about you?”

“S-same.”

They walked silently to the cold foods aisle. Sunset retrieved her milk after Sonata, then turned to find the girl staring at her.

“We’re new in town,” Sonata blurted. “Me and my business partners just moved to Canterlot. Taxes, you know how it is. We actually just opened.”

“What do you do?”

Sonata gave a proud smile, briefly erasing her shyness. “It’s a massage parlor. I mostly do the back-end stuff: you know, advertising and budgets and all. But the others are real wizards. Can I give you a card?”

Sunset raised an eyebrow, briefly wondering if she was being played. But no – this girl was way too genuine for that.

Still, “Sorry, I’m on a really tight budget for… well, forever. You know how it is.”

The girl looked thoughtful, and Sunset imagined that was the end of it.

But then at the checkout line, “Here.”

Sunset turned to find Sonata taking a white business card from her purse. She clicked out a pen, scribbled something on the back, and handed it to Sunset.

Sunset looked at the front: “Mistress Massage and Oils” with an address, website, and phone number. On the back, Sonata had written something in indecipherable cursive.

“A free treatment,” Sonata said, with rising confidence. “Specifically a full-show course of about ninety minutes. Call it a thank you.”

Sunset had never indulged in a professional massage, but friendship with Rarity had given her a fair idea how much that was worth. She made to hand back the card.

“Hey, it’s cool. I didn’t do this for a reward.”

“I know,” Sonata sniffed, with a bit of nerdy faux-arrogance that reminded Sunset charmingly of Human Twilight. “It’s not like this costs us anything. Besides, we’re new here: our schedules are mostly empty while we pray the advertising kicks in. A little good-will and word-of-mouth can take a small business like ours a long way. So take it. If you have a good time, maybe tell people about us.”

It still felt like too big a gift… but this girl seemed to know her own logic. Maybe it really did make sense.

Sunset grinned. “Gotcha. Sounds great, thank you very much.”

To be honest, it sounded heavenly. The pair chatted a little more as they paid, then Sunset pushed her cart to the other girl’s car.

She helped load, then flinched in surprise as Sonata gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Just a ‘goodbye,’” Sonata said, and Sunset nodded. Rarity did that, too. “Call ahead, okay?”

“Sure thing,” Sunset said.

She pushed the cart to her own ride, followed by Sonata’s last words.

“See you soon.”