What is Love?

by AFAIK

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 8816

Following her defeat by Chrysalis, Celestia does some introspection

After the events of A Canterlot Wedding, Princess Celestia of Equestria realized something very important about herself. Something she never would have even thought of if it weren't for Cadance and Shining Armor. She does not know what love is.

Meanwhile, a legendarily anti-social figure from Earth's history awakens in a land of pastel ponies.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-10 18:08:03 UTC

Prologue

While her friends watched in awe, distracted by the magical display they had just seen, my ever faithful student Twilight Sparkle immediately began rushing to my side, concern painted on her face.

Although I had recovered the instant Shining Armor and Cadance’s spell had washed over... or rather, through me, I still lay motionless on the ground, my mind reeling.

I had failed them.

Failed my little ponies time and time again.

What kind of guardian was I? I had been forced to rely on my pupil, so young and innocent, to do what I should have.

First to restore my maddened sister to me.

My beloved sister Luna, always so emotional, so desiring of acceptance, had not received the love she so craved from our ponies, nor their scorn, but a casual apathy that over the years cut her far more deeply and more cruelly than even the most vitriolic hate would have.

She tried her best. Oh, how she tried. She began to act more like me at first, in a way. Put on an affectation of my own stoic demeanor, abandoning the shy grace and kindness that I so loved about her. She became more and more a warped reflection of myself in her endeavors to earn our subjects love and admiration, all while her sorrows and pains built up inside her and fed on themselves, growing and twisting into something more horrible than I had ever suspected in my own pathetic self-involvement.

I was too busy, you see. Too busy to give the most precious thing in my life my time, understanding, affection. With what? Absurdly petty affairs of state, utterly meaningless mere decades after their undertaking. But the pain of my ignorance will last forever.

Because while Luna had failed to gain their love, she found instead she could command their fear, and thus Nightmare Moon was birthed from the shattered remains of my dear sister’s soul.

Even while I had sole dominion of the Elements of Harmony, there was nothing I could do. The best I could manage was her banishment to the moon. Really, just putting off the problem another thousand years. The Elements stopped listening to me shortly after.

How ironic. If I thought I had been busy before, then what was I after?

I was so disgusted. So disgusted by myself, by Luna, by even our subjects. I cloistered myself away for nearly a decade, mourning. I gave them the excuse that I had to recover my powers, depleted from the struggle.

Many ponies now think of Nightmare Moon’s revolt as a civil war, a horrible fracturing of the nation of Equestria. They couldn’t be more wrong. Nopony, not even her own guard, had joined Luna in her rebellion. Not a single one. Can you imagine? Nightmare Moon had appeared alone in my throne room, to challenge her sister, and indeed, the entire nation, all by herself.

If anything, that hurts me more than if some had betrayed me to join her. I think, though we are loathe to talk about it, she knew she would not, could not win.

But desperation had consumed her.

I lay lost in my thoughts and memories of days long gone, and probably could have for a very long time, if Twilight hadn't reached me by then, crying out to me, wanting to see if I was alright.

So of course with millennia of practice, I stood up and I lied to her.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. You have a real wedding to put together.”

She smiled, relieved.

I wandered off to my chambers to brood more.

Innocent, loving Twilight, who looked up to me so. She and her friends were the very embodiment of what Equestria stood for, of the primordial forces which had formed this plane. They had managed what I could not. They had cleansed the darkness from my sister’s heart, washed it away in a torrent of all those things that I was supposed to stand for to my subjects. Honesty. Kindness. Loyalty. Laughter. Generosity. Friendship.

But at the time I had no such thoughts, because I had room for nothing but relief. I was relieved. So very, very relieved. I feared Luna would be banished again, or turned to stone. Such a thing would have been disastrous, maybe as bad as Nightmare Moon plunging us into eternal darkness, for I didn’t know how much longer I could go on being Equestria’s sole monarch. The exhaustion of caring for both Sun and Moon bore down on me like a mountain on my shoulders, but more than that, I missed my sister. We were meant to rule together. Without her, I felt so alone. I don’t think you could possibly understand what it was like.

But I’m sure Luna can.

...

But enough of that. We were discussing Twilight, were we not? The filly I had inflicted Discord upon, my most ancient and dire foe.

It had taken Luna and I together to even attempt to hold the tide of chaos he brought when he first appeared. It wasn’t until we discovered the Elements of Harmony, the very essence and spirit of our plane, that we had any hope of winning the war against him -- at best, we fought delaying tactics. Before the Elements, we had only been postponing our eventual defeat as he slowly brought more and more of our land into his domain. Even with the Elements, we had only managed to seal him at great personal cost.

When he broke free of his bonds last year, he was weakened from his imprisonment, but I was weakened more. The strain of both the sun and moon was barely perceptible at first, but after a thousand years, even the lightest of weights becomes a titanic burden. Luna was nowhere near restored to her full powers yet and I knew I could not even hold him back.

So I called once again on Twilight and her friends. I had to. I hoped that they would somehow be able to seal him away again, that they would not see the extent of Discord’s insanity. For you see, good and evil mean not a thing to him. Both are merely side effects of the chaos that make up his very being. There’s nothing wrong with some of his harmless pranks or bizarre creations, but it is completely beyond his comprehension where the line between innocent fun and destroying lives lies. I don’t even know if he knows that there is such a line. Does he understand what it means to tear apart a group of friends? To make the kindest of ponies act cruelly, to take the joy of living away from the pony whose very life’s pursuit is the happiness of others? I do not know. I have tried to understand him, to reason with him, but I can not.

Thankfully, while he turned Equestria upside down, in some cases literally, far less went wrong than could have. The greatest casualties were once again Twilight and her friends. And all the while I couldn’t do anything.

And there I was only months later, after foolishly disregarding the feelings of my most loyal and faithful student, who had sacrificed so much for Equestria, and for me personally, laid low by the very danger Twilight had tried to warn me of, by such a pathetic creature as a parasite who fed on love. I should have been able to capture her easily, if not crush and grind her beneath my hooves for trying to hurt my little ponies! And I couldn’t! I was completely ineffectual. Even the vile changeling Queen, Chrysalis, was surprised to have defeated me.

And to think, the nobles still list Sol Invicta amongst my titles.

But you see, upon my defeat, I realized something. Something important.

I thought I knew about love. In a way, I do. My love for my ponies, my love for my sister, and my love for my student -- these things dominate me. I am nothing without my love for them.

But the magic that Chrysalis used against me, the same magic I felt wash through me when Cadance and Shining Armor expelled the changelings from Canterlot...

That was absolutely, and completely foreign to me.

It was at that moment, lying on the cold marble floor of my own throne room that I realized I did not know what love was.

Introduction

Author’s Note: I am nowhere near good enough a writer to pull off authentic 1700s English. I won’t even try. Hence, the protagonist of this story who is not Celestia will likely have embarrassingly modern speech.

A small bubble of air remained unabsorbed... if there is any part of the phlogisticated air of our atmosphere which differs from the rest, and cannot be reduced to nitrous acid, we may safely conclude that it is not more than 1/120 part of the whole.

Experiments on Air, 1785

My name is Henry Cavendish, Fellow of the Royal Society of London for Improving Natural Knowledge. I am seventy-eight years old.

Or was.

No, I still am.

I say was, because last I remember, I lay in a withering husk upon my deathbed. But of course, logically speaking, even if dead, I am seventy-eight years old. Unless “old” presumes to speak of only those still living.

When we discuss historical figures already passed, how do we refer to them? When speaking of Newton, did I say that he was one hundred sixty seven years old? No, but we often spoke of the dates of their birth and death. However, I suspect this is because their age was of no practical significance. That does not necessarily mean that age is undefined for the dead, for age is simply the number of years passed since one’s birth.

On the other hand, if age means years spent alive, which it very well could, I would be incorrect in this matter. Incorrect on the tense, but not the number.

Speaking of tense, that may be the root of the problem. For you see, I am dead. Disregarding age entirely, does that mean I am, or I was, or I still am?

I think I still am.

…

Ah! As Rene Descartes said in his Discourse on the Method of Rightly Conducting One’s Reason and Seeking Truth in the Sciences, “Je pense, donc je suis.”

In a later treatise Principles of Philosophy and the latin translation of Discourse as most men of England have read it, “Ego cogito, ergo sum.”

I think, therefore I am.

So having thusly established that I am...

Well, the argument only proves that the consciousness exists. Apparently consciousness can endure beyond the expiration of its physical vessel.

Its original physical vessel.

Descartes went on to make an ontological proof for the existence of God on the basis of the existence of reason. I do not think he succeeded.

I bring this up because unlike most of my colleagues and peers, let alone the common folk, I did not, before today, believe that an afterlife awaited me upon my death. I expected it to be rather like falling asleep -- a cessation of the existence of the the kernel of sentience that is the I who expected such a thing.

But without the part where you wake up the next morning.

...

So I have established that I still am. Results are inconclusive on whether I am still seventy-eight years old, or if I was seventy-eight. Further clarification on linguistics is required for sufficient judgment.

…

Oh dear. I think I’m panicking. Let me begin again.

My name is Henry Cavendish, Fellow of the Royal Society of London for Improving Natural Knowledge. I am either seventy-eight years old currently, or at least was at the time of my death, for that is the length of time passed since my birth in 1731 and my expiration in 1810.

I am currently laying on the ground, in the middle of what seems an obtrusively bright afternoon day.

I am surrounded.

I am shaking uncontrollably.

I was a human.

I do not think I am any longer.

Somewhere Far Beyond

Cavendish was a great man with extraordinary singularities — His voice was squeaking, his manner nervous. He was afraid of strangers and seemed embarrassed to articulate with difficulty. He wore the costume of our grandfathers, was enormously rich but made no use of his wealth... He lived latterly the life of a solitary, came to the Club dinner and to the Royal Society: but received nobody at his home. He was acute, sagacious, and profound, and I think the most accomplished British Philosopher of his time.

Sir Humphry Davy

The rulers of Equestria and the six mares who represented the Elements of Harmony were enjoying a casual stroll through the gardens, watched, of course, by a small contingent of guards who did their best to remain unobtrusive.

It had been a day since Cadance and Shining Armor left for the first stop of their honeymoon in Hoofalulu, and Celestia had mostly recovered her composure, assured by the presence of her sister and her closest friends, not the least of whom was Twilight Sparkle.

Light conversation carried throughout the group -- Pinkie bounced while monologuing about how Rainbow Dash could do a Sonic Rainboom going up now, complete with plenty of pony-supplied sound effects, while Applejack tried to warn her that Dash’s head might explode if she kept going; Princess Luna happily chatted with Rarity and Fluttershy about the fashions of days long past while Rarity speculated that it might be time for them to make a comeback -- when the group stopped to observe a particular formation of sunflowers and moonflowers in the middle of a tranquil pool of water that served as the garden’s new centerpiece.

It was a piece particularly dear to Celestia. Entitled “The Sisters Reunited” it was moving art, literally. The sunflowers would bloom and track her sun across the sky from morning to evening, and the moonflowers would do the same throughout the night, while the color of the water reflected the color of the sky above. But what made the arrangement most special to her was what it had been designed to do in the twilight hours when both were in bloom.

In the mornings and nights the sun and moon shared the sky, it became obvious that the flowers had been planted in the ancient symbol of the sisters circling each other in endless procession. Indeed, if one had the patience, over the course of a full day it was possible to see the ripple of the flowers' movement almost seem to animate the picture.

At the moment, though, her flowers were halfway through their journey from east to west and Luna’s remained fully closed.

Celestia stood in front of the display with a gentle smile on her face, thankful to both the gardener for his creation and Twilight for returning her other half. As Luna trotted up to join her, Celestia stretched her wing around her sister, holding her close, as Luna began to nuzzle her now taller sister’s neck.

Of course, the moment of perfect tranquility had to be interrupted with a small pop not unlike the sound of a teleport, and the dull thud of a body hitting the ground behind them.

Startled, the group began to circle around the mysterious apparition as the guards rushed over to do the same.

Nopony knew what to do, just staring at the body in confusion. Even Pinkie was quiet for once.

A single hoof twitched, and the visitor slowly raised his head and looked in as full a circle as he could manage.

“Big feller, ain’t he?” muttered Applejack.

I have never been good with crowds. I have never been good with people in general. Women terrified me. The entire span of my life, long as it was, was spent a bachelor.

To say I was terrified now, newly arrived in the afterlife (I was unprepared to call it heaven or hell), surrounded by a circle of what I somehow instinctually knew to be intelligent beings of mostly the female persuasion, in a completely unfamiliar body, was an understatement.

The fact that I appeared to be in the company of Skinfaxi and Hrimfaxi did not help.

Were the Norsemen right?

The absurd thought jolted through me, accompanied by an almost giddy panic. I couldn’t be in Valhalla. I had never fought a battle in my life. So where was I? Aelfheim? Vanaheim? Where were all the other spirits of the dead? Why were they all... horses?

I began frantically rehearsing my introduction in my head as they stared at me, shaking nervously with the profound anxiety I always felt with more than a single person looking at me, and I found my mind racing off on bizarre tangents completely beyond my control.

My name is Henry Cavendish... I began to myself.

A full three minutes passed, no pony saying a word except the duo of guards asking the Princesses if they required assistance.

After raising his head and seeing the circle of ponies surrounding him, the newcomer, an oddly large and lanky gray earth pony, had seemed content to close his eyes and lay shaking on the ground.

“It does not seem he wishes to introduce himself to us, sister.” Luna ventured, searching for some comment that would break the silence that had come over them.

Pinkie took that as her cue.

“Hi mister! I think you’re a mister, right? Gosh, you’re tall. You must be new here. Because I know every pony, and I mean... wait, we’re not in Ponyville. And I know everypony in Ponyville but I don’t know everypony in Canterlot so you might not be new here. But I’ve never met you before because I sure would remember meeting somepony so big who isn’t the Princess, so that’s great! My name’s Pinkie Pie, by the way. Sorry I left my welcome wagon in Ponyville so I don't have any cake, but...”

She continued her rapid fire rambling and eventually cartwheeled off for a short musical number, but everyone else was too busy observing the stallion to pay her much attention.

Eventually, Princess Celestia took it upon herself to kneel down, and she gently laid a hoof on his chest to try to stop his panicked shaking.

“Please, be calm. I am Princess Celestia of Equestria, one of the rulers of this land. You are... not one of my little ponies, but if you come in peace, then you are welcome here. Tell me, are you well?”

“What do you mean he’s not one of...” Twilight began, before the visitor went absolutely rigid and opened a single eye once again.

He took a deep breath.

“Myname’sHenryCavendi-ouch!”

Silence resumed its reign.

“Did he just bite his tongue?” Rainbow Dash asked, peering down at him in disbelief.

He continued his shaking, though not as hard as before.

Great, all that time rehearsing and I’ve already botched it.

“Um. I don’t think I can get up.” He finally said.

Downward Spiral into Madness

The Solar Princess stood and gestured for Luna, and she whispered to her sister, “Luna, he does not seem to be from Equestria.”

The Princess of the Night nodded. “Indeed, sister, I do not even believe him to be from one of the neighboring planes, despite his form. Procedures will have to be followed.”

Celestia sighed. Procedures. “Yes, though those are always such a bother. Can you make the arrangements? I will stay here.”

Luna nodded, and with a single flap of her wings was gone.

Celestia turned to her companions. “Girls, I'm sorry, but our guest doesn’t seem to be from around here, and he may be sick, so we’ll have to follow quarantine procedures. After he’s been examined by the doctors you’ll probably be free to go, but until then I have to ask you to stay with me.”

Pinkie tilted her head quizzically. “Quaranwhat now?”

“Quarantine, Pinkie.” said Twilight, as she did a quick about face to look at the rest of her friends. “It means we’ll have to stay away from other ponies until we’re sure he doesn’t have some sort of disease that might be spread through contact or something.”

“Sensible enough.” muttered the gray stallion from the ground.

Nine pairs of eyes turned to look at him and he cringed.

“Oh, that’s totally OK, Princess! Maybe I can throw a quarantine party! I’ve never had one of those before. If I can’t go anywhere, I can’t get a banner, or refreshments, but I have my party cannon with me, so streamers and confetti are no problem, and maybe I can have stuff delivered...” Pinkie continued on. Nopony asked what she meant when she said she had her party cannon with her. She didn’t seem to be carrying anything.

It was probably better not to ask.

Rainbow Dash smiled. “Yeah, Princess, that’s cool with us. I mean, we were just hanging out anyway, right?” All heads nodded in agreement.

“But Princess, you don’t think he has some horrible malady, do you? He does seem a bit... shakey.” asked Rarity, waving a hoof at the lump on the ground.

Fluttershy peered out behind her bangs. “Oh, um... I think he’s just shy. Maybe.”

Applejack stepped in. "Shy don't explain why he can't walk though, does it?"

As the girls continued talking among themselves, speculating about the condition and identity of the newcomer, Celestia knelt down next to him again.

“Please, don’t be alarmed. If you are sick, you’re in good hooves. What did you say your name was again?”

“I’m... Henry.” he said weakly, choosing to forego the rest of his introduction. He probably wouldn’t be able to get it all out anyway. “And while I can’t figure out how these things work,” he muttered, wiggling all four legs comically, “I feel better than I have in... well, ages, really.”

And it was true. He had been an old man, before, and while the infirmities of age had only caught up to him just before the end, he felt better than alright -- he was positively healthy. Perhaps more so than he had ever been before.

In his new horse body.

Surrounded by horses.

Obnoxiously colored horses, at that. Everywhere he looked, orange, pink, purple, shocking white. Colors not often found in nature outside flowers, and definitely not all together. Perhaps they were exceedingly poisonous horses, he thought. Then the ridiculousness of the situation struck him.

“I may... well, I think I am hallucinating, though.”

Celestia looked down at him, puzzled. “And what makes you say that, Henry?”

He looked back up at her. You’re a horse. There are horses. I’m alive. I’m a horse. You’re talking. A talking horse. A pink horse just did a cartwheel. You have wings. A horn. Two white horses with Roman galea helmets. A flying horse.

A dozen things he could say flashed through his mind.

“Your hair keeps moving.” he finally groaned.

Celestia examined her mane. “Ah, yes.” she said. “It does that.”

Luna landed in the palace courtyard with a commanding stomp, wings spread regally. She folded them gracefully as a dozen guards rushed to her attention.

She always had liked making an entrance.

Remember the voice, she thought as she began to speak, and casual address.

“Gauntlet, Our sister awaits thee in Our gardens with a guest who requires assistance. Prithee fetch a stretcher and one of thy compatriots and have him flown to yon empty eyrie infirmary posthaste.”

Luna frowned. Something was wrong.

Modern parlance! she tsked at herself. She so often slipped into archaic speech when addressing the guard.

“Halt!” she commanded as the guard prepared to fly off to do her bidding. She noted absently that Gauntlet had seemed to understand her command, despite her mistake.

“Ahem. I mean, there is a new guest in the gardens who is having trouble walking. Please fetch a stretcher and another pegasus, and meet with Greywing and Thunder Bolt on scene, and fly him to the empty pegasus infirmary in the northwest tower. Note that those who volunteer for this duty may have to be quarantined for an extended time due to contact with our guest. An unlikely inconvenience, but be aware of it.”

Gauntlet saluted and turned to the other eleven guards who had come to meet her.

“Well, you heard the princess. Might be forced into quarantine after this. Any volunteers?” he asked.

Eleven hooves raised in assent. Despite the fact that it didn't help him choose which one to take, Gauntlet smiled.

Luna smiled as well. “Your loyalty warms Our heart.” she said before flying off in a gust of wind.

A few seconds of arguing later, one of the pegasus guards stepped forward to join Gauntlet.

“Ah, Twister. You won, eh?” Gauntlet said, patting him on the back.

Cloud Twister nodded and they took off to get a stretcher. “Yup. By the way, I caught most of what the Princess said, but... ‘prithee’?”

Gauntlet was silent for a moment, except for the flap of his wings.

“Beats me.” he said eventually, “but I think it means ‘please’.”

Author’s Note: Surprising given it’s modern ironic usage, but “thou” and its declensions are actually the informal form. Ye/you are the formal ones.

Anyway, it’s my style to write short bits and release them as they’re written, but if you’re annoyed with lots of small chapters I can save them up and combine them I guess.

The Marriage Bed

Author's Note: Horribly written WAFF bomb incoming. You've been forewarned.

Her Royal Highness, the Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and the Knight Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard, Shining Armor, had finally arrived.

Celestia had arranged for the youngest princess and her new groom to tour Equestria, starting at its western most point, moving all the way to the east coast city of Manehattan, and ending in Cadance’s home at the northern tip of the nation.

The first stop of their honeymoon was Hoofalulu, a tropical paradise of a volcanic island off the west coast of Equestria, slightly south of Los Pegasus, which was to be their next destination. It was a particularly popular vacation spot among pegasi, partly because of the warmth, and partly because of the wealth of updrafts and thermals that made for flying like nowhere else. The volcano that had formed the island had long since died, but one of Equestria’s largest and oldest dragons had taken the shell of the volcano as its roost, and the peaceful snores of a titanic sleeping dragon made for the pegasus equivalent of big wave surfing.

With the chaos of the changeling-interrupted wedding of two days ago, the planning and replacement wedding the day after, the rather wild reception of that night, followed by a several hour long pegasus drawn carriage flight the next morning, the newlyweds were absolutely exhausted.

It was only mid-afternoon, but as soon as the doors to their private suite closed, the couple slumped heavily, dropping any facade they had maintained in front of their small group of honor guard and servants.

Cadance stumbled over to the massive bed and fell heavily upon it, Shining Armor close behind her.

They both lay haphazardly on the bed, enjoying the feeling of stretching, before simultaneously turning to each other and laughing.

“You know...” they both began to speak before closing their mouths, smiling warmly.

“You go first, Shiny.” Cadance said gently.

Shining Armor sighed a bit at the nickname. Coming from anyone but his wife he’d find it annoying at best, but from her it was... kind of endearing.

“I’m tired.” he said flatly.

His wife giggled back. “So am I, dear. So am I.”

One ear twitched back and he had to look away.

“You know...” Shining Armor began, suddenly finding himself nervous. “There are... things. That are traditionally done.” He was carefully studying a particular credenza on the west wall of their suite. Cherry wood. Very well constructed.

“By a newlywed couple on their honeymoon, you mean?” Cadance asked slyly, moving a little closer.

“Erm. Yes.” He had the impression his wife was enjoying his discomfort.

Incredible how the planks of the wall fit together. Almost couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.

“Well, tradition is important you know.” Cadance smirked, “Wouldn’t do for a princess to ignore tradition.”

He’d moved on to admiring a chandelier. Crystal from the north, if he wasn't mistaken. Nice and sparkly.

“Yes, well, that may be, but...” He was cut off by an incredibly light and modest kiss that nonetheless managed to turn his brain to mush. All thoughts of furniture left his head.

“What’s wrong, Shiny?” Cadance pouted at him, “am I not pretty enough? You don’t feel that way about me? Is my marriage to go unconsummated? Will my husband take a mistress and leave me all alone to wither?” she asked, faux-dramatically.

“What! No! I would never! I mean I would never take a mistress, not, you know, because I mean I really want to, but... ugh!” Shining Armor clapped a hoof to his face. He was always so cool and collected. Why was it that in all the years since he’d first met his sister’s foalsitter he’d barely been able to put together a single coherent sentence around her?

Cadance smiled wryly and moved his hoof away from his forehead with her own. “Relax, Shiny, I understand. I’m completely exhausted too. And I don’t think it would be very nice if one of us fell asleep during our first time... you know.” She waved the hoof she had touched him with in a completely ambiguous gesture.

And kept waving it. To Shining it looked like she had made a little spiral, followed by a jerky back-and-forth, then traced a chevron in the air.

She kept waving her hoof long past the time she needed to and they both stared at it as if it had a mind of its own before they burst out laughing.

“Look at us,” Shining Armor chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye, “dancing around the subject like a bunch of foals.”

Cadance snuggled up closer to him so that she lay in his hooves, her shoulders against his chest, before telekinetically wrapping the blanket around them.

“It’s okay. I mean, like you said, we’re both exhausted...” she took the opportunity to yawn and worm deeper into his embrace, “and we’ve got our whole honeymoon in front of us.”

"Our whole lives, you mean." he responded.

"Together." she agreed.

He laughed. “To think I’d marry a princess. And an alicorn at that.” He inhaled deeply, muzzle still embedded in her mane, considering what it meant to be a winged unicorn, and exhaled with a snort, causing his wife to giggle again.

Music to his ears.

“Stop that, that tickles.” she said, poking his hoof.

“Hey Cadance, do you think your mane is ever going to do the whole magical wavy thing Celestia’s and Luna’s does?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. There’s never been another alicorn before, so it’s not like there’s much to go on, but I guess it might. Why do you ask?” she turned her neck to look at him as best she could.

He smiled down at her. “Because I hope it doesn’t.”

Cadance raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

He laughed and responded, “Because I like the way it smells.”

Cadance grinned and poked him again before wiggling closer. “Weirdo.”

“Hey, you married me.”

She ignored the jab and thought about his comments.

There had never been another alicorn before.

“Auntie Celestia was really surprised when she found out about me.”

“I bet.” he responded “She probably never thought to find a pony who could rival her for her beauty.”

“Oh look at the Cassaneighva now. Jeez, I’m trying to be serious.”

“Hey, so was I!” Shining Armor interjected. “Anyway, why was she surprised? I mean, there’s plenty of royalty.” His thoughts went briefly to a particularly obnoxious unicorn stallion.

“Yes, plenty of royalty, mostly left over from the days before the formation of Equestria proper, but no alicorns. Do you know why?”

Shining Armor shook his head.

“Because to be an alicorn means to be a representative of all ponies. Pegasus, unicorn, and earth pony alike. I mean, look at me, a pegasus’ wings, a unicorn’s horn, an earth pony’s strength and large size.”

Shining Armor nodded and poked his wife in the flank. “Yup. These are nice and big. Must be all that cake you and Celestia have taken to eating lately.”

His wife gave the foreleg her head was resting on a bite in revenge and scowled. “Hey! Keep that up, mister, and you’re never going to find out what it’s like to, uh...” she trailed off and fell back to repeated her hoof-waving motion, blushing, and Shining Armor laughed.

She bit him again.

“Anyway, to be an alicorn also means to have a special responsibility. To be the embodiment of something, one of the fundamental magics that makes up our world.” she continued.

“The Elements of Harmony.” Shining Armor said flatly.

Cadance remained silent before eventually speaking again, almost in a whisper. “Yes, but I think there’s something more. Or I wouldn’t be what I am. And Princess Celestia wouldn’t have been so shocked to find me.”

She thought silently for a long while. Considering who she was. What she was.

“You know,” she finally continued, frowning very slightly, “I’m kind of worried about Auntie Celestia.”

Shining Armor had almost fallen asleep in her silence. “Whyzzat?” he blinked blearily.

Cadance paused, thinking.

Remembering the stunned look on the older Alicorn’s face while she and Shining Armor floated back to the ground after their spell together. The brief flash of emotion that she was sure nopony else had caught. The way she had been slow to get up, and had disappeared until officiating the wedding the next day.

“Have you ever thought... she seems... lonely?” she asked, finally.

Her husband, more awake now, considered it.

“I guess I have, now that you mention it.” He thought over all of his memories of the princess, going back as far as he could remember. “I didn’t ever meet her before she took in Twilight, obviously, but... well you know Celestia. She talks to ponies all the time. As often as she can, really. But it never seems like she gets very close to, well...”

“...anypony except Auntie Luna or Twilight.” Cadance finished.

“And you.” Shining Armor added.

It was Cadance’s turn to reminisce. “You know, back when I was a filly, just after I had discovered that my special talent was to help bring out the love in ponies, one day when Auntie Celestia was distracted eating a donut, I tried to use my spell on her, just to see what would happen.”

That caught Shining Armor’s interest.

“And what happened?” he asked.

His wife grabbed onto the hoof he had over her shoulder. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Absolutely nothing. She didn’t even notice. Just turned around when she finished eating and seemed embarrassed that she had been caught snacking.”

Shining Armor frowned before Cadance continued the story.

“Later that day, I asked her if she was in love with somepony. And she smiled and said yes.”

Shining Armor blinked. “News to me.” he said.

Cadance nodded. “I was shocked too. So I asked her who it was, and she kept smiling and just said, ‘Everypony.’ It’s almost like she didn’t get what I was talking about.”

Another long silence followed as Shining Armor hugged his wife closer, growing warmer and closer to sleep by the second.

It’s just like her to be worried about someone else while exhausted and on her honeymoon. He thought.

“I love you, Cadance.” he eventually mumbled. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

She snorted lightly and responded, “I’m not perfect. There’s plenty of things wrong with me.”

The grip around her tightened.

“You’re perfect to me.” he whispered. “I love you.”

“And I love you too, Shining Armor. With all my heart.” she whispered back, only to be responded to with a snore.

Cadance laughed lightly as she too began to fall asleep, amazed at how lucky she was to be here, with the love of her life, a moment as perfect as could be.

How she wished every pony could experience this feeling, this glorious joy of complete acceptance and belonging.

Every pony.

As she drifted off to sleep, her light snore joining her new husband’s louder one, a single tiny spark gathered at the tip of her horn and jumped off with a tiny pop, just as, halfway across Equestria, another group of ponies had stopped to admire a particularly nice flower arrangement.

Her husband stirred slightly but did not wake, only attempt to move closer and renew his grip around her.

She smiled, and slept dreamlessly.

The Philosopher

I sat awkwardly upon some kind of stretcher clearly designed for a smaller and lighter being, still marveling at my new found health, clarity of thought, and utter lack of coordination.

Moving my fore-hooves in front of my face did wonders in trying to block out the unreality surrounding me, but surely was doing nothing to convince my hosts of my soundness of mind as four identical looking winged horses grabbed a corner of my litter. Winged horses. Pegasi, I supposed, or pegasuses, or maybe pegasoi, since Pegasus was the name of a particular horse, and...

When we had first taken off, I had tried frantically to convince myself that it was possible for these pegasi to fly, that their stubby little wings could bear the weight of their bodies and my own.

I failed, but luckily I didn't faint. I’m not sure I would have continued existing.

In any case, they seemed to be Praetorian Guard, clad in gleaming gold armor, but surely not! Gold would make terrible armor. Especially if you had to fly.

I spent most of the trip up to some sort of vacant infirmary trying not to vomit or faint, and when my escorts put me down in a tower next to some kind of metal framed medical bed, they seemed far too winded for me to be comfortable with the prospect of being flown down.

I continued examining my hooves to calm my nerves, trying to determine what kind of joint structure allowed me to actually see the bottom of my own hooves.

At least they seemed in good condition. Made a nice sound when I clacked them together, well maintained, no chips or cracks in the wall, healthy looking soles and frog. No horseshoe, either. Apparently I wasn’t domesticated. Should get myself to a farrier right away if I’m expected to run around on stone paved streets!

I stopped giggling (when had I started?) when the Big Horse, the pure white one with golden jewelry, ethereal mane, and oddly rhyming name (Celestia of Equestria, I mouthed dumbly) stepped in with what was clearly a smaller horse in what could only be a lab coat.

Who put that horse in a lab coat? Ridiculous. Still, at least they care about hygiene.

One of the Praetorians flitted to her Majesty, the Princess Queasy Hair, and whispered something in her ear that I could not catch. Her Royal Brow furrowed slightly and she nodded, before taking a few steps towards me and Lord almighty I am floating in mid air.

This time I really did faint.

I awoke what must have been only a short time after to the sight of Celestia and the lab coat (horse doctor?) peering down at me. More importantly I awoke, but it was very odd thing to awake to.

I vaguely noted that the doctor horse had a horn as well.

“Ahem. Hi?”

I always was a great conversationalist.

Somehow mustering motor skills I had lacked before, I sat up, if a bit unsteadily, and blinked at the Princess. She blinked back and bowed her head slightly.

“I'm very sorry. I didn't think you would have such a reaction to my magic.”

Magic. I mouthed.

Well of course, if the damned pegasi could fly when it was clearly impossible, then... but outright levitation! Movement of distant objects with no obvious mediator! (Telekinesis, a small voice in my head whispered. A term unfamiliar to me, but fitting.)

“Magic.” I said, flatly, suddenly aware that the previous time no sound had come out.

She tilted her head. “Yes... magic. Magic is innate to all ponies, but only unicorns can channel magic through their horn to move things around as you've just seen.” she said, levitating what seemed to be a teacup, complete with extraneous handle. It was surrounded in some kind of pink glow.

I got the impression she was speaking deliberately slowly and simply. I didn't know whether to be grateful or annoyed. It had been a long time since someone had to speak that way to me, but... well, obviously she meant no offense. I sighed.

“That’s...” I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Impossible. Amazing. Both, really. I attempted to feel around my head for a horn and did not find one, though I did manage to give myself a good knock on the head.

“You don’t seem to be a unicorn now. Were you... before?” the Princess asked me.

She really was strikingly white, with the faintest pearlescent shimmer.

I snorted. Was I a unicorn before?

“No, I most assuredly was not a unicorn before this afternoon.” I replied, covering my eyes with my hooves. “I was a...”

The most intense vertigo of my life hit me in waves. I struggled to keep my bile down as it felt like reality itself was dissolving.

Eventually the wave of disorientation passed, and I opened my eyes again. The princess laid a hoof on my shoulder, and smiled warmly. For a moment I felt reality wash away again, but in a completely different way as I felt myself staring into her eyes, speechless.

She seemed like the very Platonic ideal of a just and benevolent ruler. So blindingly radiant that a part of me immediately began to suspect malevolence, simply because no real creature could be so... fair.

That small part of my mind that doubted, indeed the part of me that had made me if not great, then at least respected among my peers, began gibbering at me all the myths of the Fair Folk.

“Your Majesty,” I began, suddenly a lot more concerned with politeness, when her smile widened and she interrupted.

“Suffice it to say you are not from around here. We can save the more difficult questions for later. And please, spare the honorifics. Or at least call me Princess, if you must. Unfortunately I don’t think I can lay claim to you as one of my subjects anyway.”

The doctor came around from behind me and whispered something to the Princess. I hadn't even noticed him move behind me in the first place. I’d actually completely forgotten about him, I had been so enraptured by the mere presence of the being in front of me, who, even without outright displays of magic, seemed somehow... more.

She nodded, dismissing him, and continued, “Luckily, you don’t seem to have any parasites or contagions, but there will be a few more tests before we can say for sure whether you are a health risk.”

I frowned slightly. “And if I am?” I asked.

Again, her blindingly reassuring smile. “We will do our best to cure you. You are welcome in Equestria and perfectly safe here. We mean you no harm as long as you do us no harm in kind.”

She put one of her wings around me in what must have been a purely reassuring gesture but... well, I can’t say if I blushed, but it sure felt like it.

“You seem alarmed, and disoriented. I can’t blame you. Is there anything you can remember easily?”

Well, there was no way I could think of... anything, in this situation. This was too much like an embrace from a... well, she was a horse, but I was a horse too (small wave of vertigo) and she was most definitely... a she.

Somehow I knew I would have been a shivering wreck, before. As it was, I was only almost shivering, and not obviously a wreck.

“I’m a philosopher. A natural philosopher.” I started. Somehow at this moment, the vertigo left me completely, and everything felt completely right.

“I examine the world. I measure. I categorize. I break things down into their smallest parts and try to put them together again.

“My colleagues often said I was obsessive about precision, that I wasted time on minuscule details. I would contend that nature does not give up her secrets readily. We’re easily misled, and there’s no one easier to fool than me.

“I had a long career. I measured the weight of the earth and the components of air. And then I died.”

I felt a wave of unreality crash through me again, though this time it felt... different, somehow. Like the difference between being tossed by waves of syrup and waves of water.

The Princess moved her wing away. I felt cold without it.

"I feel now as if it may have all been a waste, because nothing I've seen here makes any sense."

She seemed to be staring at my flank. I looked down to see what had caught her interest.

AN: Really sorry about the delay. Been really busy, and then sick, lol.

A Moment of Clarity

Author’s Note: True story, this fic was going to be called “Lack of Comprehension” but I decided to go with a different song reference for the attention. Might rename it at some point.

You may have skipped the previous chapter, because it was inserted as an edit. Check, just in case.

An interesting conversation.

My student met me at the bottom of the unused Pegasus eyrie that currently served as our new visitor’s infirmary. Or perhaps not merely a visitor, if what he said was true. He had been somehow brought here, and... likely could not leave.

“Twilight, come walk with me.” I always had liked to wander around while thinking. A habit Twilight had picked up from me, maybe, though some day she would learn not to walk and read at the same time. “What do you think of Henry?”

“Oh, he seems nice enough. Maybe a bit shy.” she replied. After a pause, “maybe more than a bit. He reminds me of Fluttershy, actually.” she giggled.

How long had it been since I had been so close to another pony that I could casually walk around and bounce ideas off of them?

“What,” I asked, practiced poker face in place, “do you think about his cutie mark?”

Twilight squinted as if trying to look in the past, and then a stunned look crossed her face. “I don’t remember.” she said.

“Interesting, isn’t it?”

I looked off into the horizon, my student trotting by my side. A very long time ago I had learned to walk so that other ponies could keep up. “Your cutie mark is one of the first things a pony notices, after all. An hour after finding him in the gardens, and I realized in the middle of him telling me what his special talent was that I had either never looked, or somehow just not noticed.”

Twilight frowned the way she always did when examining a new puzzle. “That sounds like...”

I couldn’t help but interrupt with a sharp laugh, drawn from me involuntarily. My lips curled up as well, completely beyond my control. “You always were a smart one, Twilight. I hadn’t expected you to catch on for another few minutes, at least.”

Twilight couldn’t help but smile herself, blushing at the praise. She almost began skipping, in fact. “So it is... magic? Not Equestrian magic, but-”

I nodded.

Metamagic. Archmagic. Abstraction.

This was the magical land of Equestria for a reason. It had magic at its very core, in some ways perhaps could be said to be made of magic. Not the kind of magic a unicorn did with her horn, or a pegasus used to fly, or gave an earth pony their resilience, but a different, deeper kind. The land that I and my sister ruled had certain concepts embedded at its core, fundamentally deciding what reality was.

First, and oldest, was that Equestria was the land of ponies, donkeys, zebras, and their brethren. Ponies were its most numerous inhabitants, and its caretakers. Others could visit, our closest neighbors being the Griffins, east across the sea, and the dragons scattered far and wide across the planes, as all were welcome in peace, but it was, and always would be, Equestria.

The second rule was that of harmony. Equestria had before, long in the past, been just another part of the wilds, a land of the beasts were there were perhaps more ponies than in other parts, but chaotic and wild nonetheless. Discord reigned, wild ponies, griffons, dragons, and other beasts his subjects and playthings. But when ponies had learned harmony, how their differences in concert could make them stronger as a whole... it had been a small magic at first. A bit of the wilds grew safer, more tame. Other ponies flocked to the new nation of Equestria, still just a region of the wilds, but the magic grew throughout the years, culminating in the birth of myself and my sister, ex nihilo, the embodiments of what became a new plane, splintered from the wilds, where ponies depended on each other for even those things that nature had once done.

In the magical land of Equestria, the magic of harmony did not alter reality. The magic of harmony was all that was real, other magics being shadows cast by its light.

Our guest was from elsewhere, but being reshaped by the magic of Equestria, fundamentally, and even I (or perhaps I more than others) am subject to its whims. So when an outsider, a non-pony, is somehow cast into our land, nobody takes note of his cutie mark. Outsiders don’t have cutie marks. But his lack of a cutie mark should have been obvious.

“So, Princess, you talked to him about what his special talent was, and noticed a cutie mark, but there was no flash of light the way there is when a filly or colt earns their mark... so does that mean it had always been there?”

“I don’t know.”

We discussed matters some more, and as an experiment I proposed that Twilight gather her friends and go talk with Henry, but first to ask some of them what his cutie mark was. She eagerly began to run off at a gallop to comply.

“Twilight, wait.” The purple unicorn stopped and turned, looking up at me questioningly. I walked over and nuzzled her neck. “Twilight, I’m sorry.” I whispered.

Her eyes widened. “For what, Princess?”

“For doubting you. For at the very least not hearing you out. I dismissed your concerns and it almost cost us dearly, but more than that, as your mentor, and as your friend, I failed. I should have listened to what you had to say, but I made my decision on a whim, based on shallow appearances.

“Twilight Sparkle, can you forgive me?” I asked, staring into her eyes.

“Oh Princess!” she cried, jumping and nuzzling me back, “every pony makes mistakes. No pony can be perfect, and we can all learn more about friendship. Of course I can forgive you. I already have.”

We stood, leaning against each other for a moment in the shadow of the tower. After a few moments, she laughed, “Besides, I didn’t exactly present a compelling case.”

I thought back to her, hopping in circles, chanting “She’s evil!”

I couldn’t help but smile again. My faithful student always did have that effect on me.

“Maybe so, Twilight, but I should not have been so dismissive of your feelings, even if you had been wrong. Now run along and get your friends. I’m sure Pinkie at least is excited to talk to the new pony in town now that he’s had a chance to calm down.”

The Princess had left.

I looked down at my right flank. Gray fur, bold black lines making a minimalist representation of a balance scale. Had that been there before?

Well, as far as tattoos go, it seems appropriate enough. I wondered if that made my right side my ‘good side’ now, since it had a tattoo of some sort and the other didn’t.