Monsterby PuzzlingInsanityChaptersI Feel Like A MonsterA Dinner To RememberStatements and SentencingI Feel Like A MonsterShe glared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her nostrils flaring as hellfire burned in her glowing yellow eyes. Her pupils had changed from the rounds of an earth pony to the slits of a batpony. Her pale orchidish-gray coat looked even paler in the fluorescent lighting, and her knuckles were bruised and bloodied. She gripped the sides of the bathroom sink and screamed incoherently at the mare in the mirror, baring her fangs as spittle flew from her mouth. Hot tears of rage and pain filled her eyes as her screams faded into sobs. She curled up in the corner of the bathroom and cried into her knees until a gentle knock at the door made her head snap up. “Um… I’m sorry to bother you,” a soft voice said from the other side of the locked door, “but would you be so kind as to unlock the door? That is, if you don’t mind.” Puzzling Insanity wiped her eyes with her hoodie sleeve and slowly got up. She listened to the little click as she watched herself turn the lock on the bathroom door and open it, revealing the owner of the voice to be a pale yellow pegasus mare. The pegasus gently brushed a lock of pink hair away from her cyan eyes and gasped in shock at the sight of the earth pony. After taking some breaths to steady herself, she cleared her throat and said, “My name is Fluttershy. What’s yours?” Puzzling Insanity produced an ID card from her pocket and handed it to Fluttershy, still not feeling like talking. “That’s an… interesting name,” Fluttershy said hesitantly. “What’s wrong, Puzzling? I heard screams coming from this bathroom.” Puzzling simply made a gesture like she was an Everfree beast about to attack and pointed to herself, then turned around and went back to the corner of the bathroom, hugging her legs as fresh tears spilled from her eyes and her shoulders heaved. The concerned pegasus entered the bathroom and sat down beside the distraught earth pony. “You’re not a monster,” she said softly. Puzzling sniffed and looked away. “Yes I am,” she finally said, her voice as hoarse as a raven’s croak. “If I wasn’t a monster, others wouldn’t hate me.” “Why do you think others hate you?” “Because every time I try to meet somecreature they react with horror or disgust, or they pretend to like me out of pity and then abandon me once they get tired of me. “And then I get stuck with my thoughts, and I feel like I’m at a never-ending rave where somecreature injected me with a mixture of liquid cocaine, ecstasy, steroids and embalming fluid. My mood changes every five minutes and I feel feelings so intensely that it’s physically painful and I end up hurting everycreature I care about because I hold on too tight because I’m terrified of being abandoned!” Fluttershy looked on as Puzzling Insanity let her soul bleed out, her own eyes welling up. “You poor, poor thing,” she said, her voice breaking as she reached for some toilet paper to dab at her eyes. Puzzling looked up at Fluttershy, her eyes red and swollen as she opened her arms. A whimper escaped her as she wordlessly asked for a hug. Fluttershy obliged, shifting so she was in front of the earth pony and hugging her gently. Puzzling buried her face in the crook of Fluttershy’s neck and wept openly. She was so tired of being in pain. Fluttershy knelt there for Faust knew how long, time seeming to stop as she attempted to comfort this total stranger. Eventually, Puzzling let go of the pegasus and fished into her hoodie pocket, pulling out her phone. “Can you please call my mom for me?” The question took Fluttershy by surprise, but she agreed, looking through the contacts on the phone and finding the correct one. After a couple rings, somecreature picked up. She cleared her throat. “Hello? Is this Puzzling Insanity’s mother? I’m sorry to bother you at this time of night. Oh, uh, my name is Fluttershy. No, I’m not a foalnapper; she wanted me to call you. Well, she’s, um, having a meltdown right now and doesn’t really feel like talking. Her knuckles are all bruised up and she’s really upset. She was telling me about how she thinks she’s a monster. Uh, we’re in the bathroom at Barnyard Bargains. Oh, my, you don’t have to come if you don’t want t- okay. I guess we’ll see you in a bit, then. I’m so sorry.” Puzzling looked at the floor as Fluttershy handed her phone back. Fluttershy gently placed her hand on Puzzling’s knuckles. “She’s gonna be upset because I ruined her night by being stupid again,” the earth pony said, her eyes welling up again. Fluttershy thought about everything Puzzling had said for a moment, putting the pieces together in her head before it dawned on her. Rapid-fire mood swings, fear of abandonment, painfully intense emotions. She gently asked, “I don’t mean to insinuate anything, but is it possible that you might have borderline personality disorder?” “I got diagnosed a few months ago,” Puzzling said, wiping her eyes. “Why aren’t you scared of me?” “Well, if I were scared of you, that wouldn’t do any good, would it?” Puzzling nodded. “Valid point,” she said. She slowly got to her hooves and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her pupils had returned to their usual round shape, and her irises had finally stopped glowing. And then she heard it. A slap rang out from the main part of the store, loud and clear. The screeching of a mare followed. “How dare you show your ugly face in public and desecrate my husband’s shop with your disgusting presence! In my day, uglies were locked away so us normal ponies didn’t have to see such hideous creatures like you!” Puzzling ran out of the bathroom and into the main area of the store. Spoiled Rich was berating a mauve-coated middle-aged earth pony mare with thin graying brown hair. The mare stood there in shock, a handprint beginning to color her cheek. A scream of pure rage made both of the older mares turn. “GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH!” Puzzling Insanity roared, her eyes glowing bright yellow and her pupils narrow black slits. She charged toward the mares and stood in front of her mother, her chest heaving as sheer hatred thundered through her veins and her heart threatened to burst from her chest. “LISTEN HERE, YOU ROTTEN CUNT!” Puzzling screamed, getting dangerously close to Spoiled Rich’s face. “MY MOTHER HAS BELL’S PALSY! SHE ALREADY DEALS WITH A VOICE IN HER HEAD TELLING HER SHE’S NOT PRETTY ENOUGH AND SHE SURE AS FUCK DOESN’T NEED SOME BALLBUSTING GOLD DIGGER HARPY BITCH WITH FUCKING EAGLE’S CLAWS TELLING HER SHE’S UGLY!” “Why, you little-” “SHUT UP! I’M NOT FINISHED! YES, MY MOM’S FACE IS PARALYZED ON ONE SIDE, AND YES, SHE CAN’T SMILE LIKE SHE USED TO, BUT FAUST DAMN IT, SHE’S A THOUSAND TIMES MORE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU’LL EVER BE BECAUSE HER HEART AND SOUL ARE BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH TO SET FIRE TO THE SUN! YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE PROCEDURES YOU CAN BUY TO KEEP YOURSELF LOOKING YOUNG, BUT YOUR INSIDES ARE ABSOLUTELY VILE, AND THAT MAKES YOU THE MOST HIDEOUS CREATURE IN EQUESTRIA!” Heart Guardian just looked at her daughter as tears filled her eyes. Puzzling took a deep breath and calmed down before grabbing a fistful of Spoiled Rich’s shirt collar and once again getting in her face. “And if I ever hear or see you insulting anycreature again, or I hear about it, I will not be held accountable for whatever I may do to you. Am I understood?” Puzzling Insanity bared her fangs threateningly and snarled. Spoiled Rich huffed indignantly, enraging the younger mare again. “I SAID AM I UNDERSTOOD?! YOU GIVE ME A FAUST DAMN ANSWER RIGHT NOW!” The older mare nodded frantically, grimacing as she felt Puzzling spit on her face. The young pony let go of her collar, leaving her to scuttle away, grumbling about respecting one’s elders and something about whales and breath mints. A school-aged earth pony filly with a pale magenta coat and white-streaked violet hair slowly approached the mother and daughter, pocketing her phone. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said. “You recorded the whole thing, didn’t you?” Puzzling deadpanned. Diamond Tiara beamed and nodded. “I didn’t think anycreature besides me had the chutzpah to stand up to my mother! Please, let me upload it!” Heart Guardian hesitantly looked at the filly and said, “I don’t want anypony to think I’m okay with my daughter saying those things.” “Let her,” the fanged mare said, shrugging. “Nocreature hurts my mom. I heard the slap. Everycreature did. If the video is uploaded, then maybe Spoiled will be arrested. Trust me, incarceration will be fucking Elysium compared to what I plan on doing to her next time she decides to be a bitch.” “Puzzling! I thought I raised you to not use that language in front of foals.” Diamond shrugged and said, “I’ve heard worse on the playground.” Heart Guardian hung her head and sighed, “Faust help the future generations.” After a few minutes on her phone, Diamond Tiara’s smile grew wider as she said, “And done! This is gonna be epic!” Puzzling looked around, cocking an eyebrow. “Where’s Fluttershy? Hold on, I’m going to look for her.” Slowly stepping into the bathroom, she saw no trace of the pegasus, but a note had been left behind. Dear Puzzling, I hope our talk helped earlier. Please take care of your mother. You seem like you love her very much. And please remember, you’re not a monster. Warm regards, Fluttershy A Dinner To RememberTwo days after that incident, the video of Puzzling protecting her mother went viral and Spoiled Rich was arrested for assault. After she had been taken away kicking and screaming, Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara decided to pay Heart Guardian a visit. Their limousine pulled into a gravel driveway in front of a white sectional, and the driver exited to let the businesspony and heiress out of the vehicle. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara climbed the short set of steps and were surprised by the front door opening before either of them could knock. Puzzling Insanity looked them up and down before saying, “Just a moment, please.” With that, she turned around and shouted, “Mom! That Tiara kid and a stallion in a suit are here! What do I do?” “Let ‘em in before the cats get out!” Puzzling turned back toward the ponies standing outside and nodded. “Okay, you can come in,” she said, holding the door open for them. Heart Guardian smiled when Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara entered the humble home. “Hello,” she said softly. “Hello, ma’am,” Filthy said, nodding courteously. “Just wanted to check in. Before that, however, I do have a question for you.” “I’ll see if I can answer it.” The businesspony cleared his throat and asked, “Do you know a good divorce attorney?” Heart Guardian’s head cocked to one side and she blinked slowly. “I’m sorry, did you say divorce attorney?” “Yes,” Filthy Rich answered. “My wife was arrested a few hours ago for her atrocious behavior two days ago, and she isn’t the mare I fell in love with anymore.” “I-I’m afraid I don’t really know any divorce attorneys,” the mauve mare said sheepishly, “and I’m sorry about my daughter’s little fit. I swear I didn’t raise her to talk like that.” Filthy shook his head and said, “Ma’am, you don’t have anything to apologize for; clearly your daughter loves you very much if she’s willing to stand up to somepony like that for you. My wife slapped you and insulted your appearance, for Faust’s sake!” “But the death threat and the-” “Water under the bridge,” Filthy said. Puzzling looked up at Filthy Rich and quietly said, “In all honesty, Mr. Rich, I wanted to kill her. I only spared her life because of how important my mother is to me.” The businesspony stared at the fanged mare, his eyes wide and his eyebrows significantly higher on his face than normal. He tried to find the words to convey his thoughts, but when he tried to speak, words failed him. After a long moment, he finally said, “In spite of how… angry you may have been, I appreciate the restraint. Having a murder in one of our stores would be bad for business. I will say that your mother is very lucky to have a daughter as fiercely protective of her as you are.” “Thank you, sir.” Heart Guardian hung her head again, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. “Can I offer you something to eat?” she asked, looking at the floor. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara thought it over for a moment, then the businesspony shook his head. “I wouldn’t want to take advantage of your hospitality, ma’am,” he said, “but I do appreciate the offer.” “I offered because it’s getting close to lunchtime for my daughter,” Heart Guardian said. “It would be rude of me to make her something to eat and not offer guests some food.” Diamond Tiara’s muzzle wrinkled slightly at the smell emanating from the kitchen. “What’s that smell?” Heart Guardian hesitated for a moment before responding, “I have beef brisket cooking in the oven for Puzzling.” The businesspony and his daughter nearly went deathly pale at the thought of a pony eating meat. Filthy Rich swallowed hard and said, “I thought your daughter was an earth pony.” “Technically she’s three-quarters earth pony,” Heart Guardian explained casually. “My mother was a batpony and my father was an earth pony. Puzzling got her fangs, the glowing eye thing and a taste for meat from her meemaw, and I guess those genes skipped over me.” “So is she a carnivore or…?” “I’m an omnivore,” Puzzling piped up, “and I normally eat meat from animals that have been slaughtered humanely. Unless, of course, somecreature does something reprehensible enough for them to forfeit their right to live. “Plus, you gotta think, even if I did give in to my impulses that night, I’m sure her meat would taste horrible. Her name is Spoiled, after all.” Heart Guardian swallowed a lump forming in her throat and said, “Please excuse me.” With that, she stood up and entered the kitchen. “Puzzling, sweetie, do you want mixed greens and flowers with your brisket?” “Yes please,” Puzzling said, smiling and getting a plate from the cupboard. “Out of the way, honey,” her mother warned, about to open the oven door. “I don’t want you getting burned.” After taking the meat out and checking the internal temperature, Heart Guardian made a plate for her daughter, then washed her hands. She turned back and asked, “Are you absolutely sure I can’t offer you some flowers or greens? Maybe just some iced tea?” Filthy Rich gave the question a lot of thought before saying, “Actually, if it isn’t too much trouble, I suppose a plate of greens could do me some good.” “Me too,” Diamond Tiara said, nodding hesitantly. The middle-aged mare smiled as best she could and made three more plates, these being meat-free. “Here you go,” she said, setting the plates on the dinner table. “Thank you, ma’am,” the businesspony said before taking a forkful of mixed greens into his mouth. The corners of his mouth turned upward at the taste as he chewed. Swallowing the greens, he beamed at Heart Guardian and cleared his throat. “These are absolutely delicious!” Heart Guardian blushed a little at the compliment. “Why, thank you,” she said. “It’s just something I threw together.” “Please don’t be so modest,” Filthy Rich said, laughing. “I wouldn’t be surprised if your cutie mark had to do with the culinary arts!” Puzzling looked over at her mother and asked, “Could you please pass me some napkins, Mom?” “Of course,” the older mare said with a small lopsided smile, passing her daughter a few paper napkins. “I forgot how messy of an eater you can be sometimes.” “Thank you,” Puzzling said, gently dabbing at her lips with one. “Brisket is a messy food.” With that, she cut off another little piece of meat and ate it. She looked at the businesspony curiously after swallowing. “You sure you don’t want a bite? It’s really tender, and there’s cola and brown sugar in it.” Filthy Rich smiled nervously. “I-I’m good, thank you,” he said. He looked over at Heart Guardian. “I don’t mean to insult your cooking, ma’am, it’s just that-” “I understand completely, Mr. Rich,” Heart Guardian said, waving off the awkwardness. “I don’t like meat either; that’s just her way of trying to be nice. Puzzling, honey, make sure you eat your greens and flowers too.” Puzzling nodded, taking a forkful of plants and saturating them in the sauce on the plate before eating the greens and flowers. “May I ask where you got the beef for your daughter’s… cravings?” Filthy Rich asked, trying to be thoughtful in the way he worded his question. Heart Guardian nodded and answered, “Oh, there’s a nice little butcher’s shop near here. It’s been a Faust-send, especially during the full moon.” “What happens during the full moon?” Puzzling Insanity looked down at her now-empty plate, her ears back. As her cheeks took on a reddish color and tears pricked at her eyes, she said, “I’m overcome by savage rage and hunger and I start acting like a wild animal.” Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara exchanged wide-eyed pale-faced expressions, both having had a vivid mental picture painted for them. The young heiress blinked twice and pushed the image out of her head. She looked at the fanged mare again and reached across the table, gently taking her pale hand. Puzzling jumped and let out a surprised squeak from the sudden physical contact, but looked up to see a pink face with a gentle expression. “Can you take your glasses off for a second?” Diamond said, taking one of the clean paper napkins from the table. Puzzling took her eyeglasses off and set them down. The heiress proceeded to dab at Puzzling’s eyes with the napkin. “There we go,” Diamond Tiara said. “Your makeup was starting to run.” Puzzling gave the filly a sad smile before looking at Filthy Rich, her expression turning deadly serious. “They’re going to use that video as evidence in court,” she said, “and they’re probably going to want statements from my mother and myself. If you hear anything from the prosecutor, just give us a call.” “Of course.” Statements and Sentencing“All rise,” the earth pony bailiff said, his voice loud and clear in the courtroom. “This court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Tipping Scales presiding.” Everycreature in the room stood at attention as an older unicorn mare with a pale gray coat and slate-gray eyes slowly made her way to the bench. The mare wore a black judge’s robe and thick-rimmed cat-eye glasses. As she sat down and adjusted her glasses, she nodded at the blue stallion, who simply said, “Be seated.” Tipping Scales cleared her throat and said, “Good morning, everycreature.” A chorus of voices saying “good morning” filled the room before the judge motioned for quiet and continued. “As you all may know, this is a court of law. There is a certain level of decorum to be expected in a court of law, and as such, any outbursts will be swiftly dealt with. If you feel you cannot keep your composure at any time, you are asked to leave before we proceed with this matter. Anyone who is out of order will be arrested and held in contempt of court. “Now, do I have a Ms. Spoiled Rich here?” Spoiled Rich simply said, “Yes, Your Honor.” “Ms. Rich, you have been arrested and formally charged with assault, a misdemeanor in the first degree in violation of the Equestrian Legal Code, Section 2903.13. We are here today for sentencing in this matter. If anycreature has a statement to make, now is the opportunity to approach and address the court.” The prosecutor, a pegasus mare with a sand-colored coat and jade-green eyes, cleared her throat. “Your Honor, we have four statements to be heard by the court,” she said. “The first statement is by the victim, Ms. Heart Guardian.” Heart Guardian stood at the podium and took a deep breath to steady herself before beginning. “Your Honor, I was only at the store because my daughter was having a meltdown in the bathroom and I’d gotten a phone call from somepony who was helping her through it. “When I got in there, I remember just being slapped across the face and screamed at by Spoiled Rich, and the next thing I knew…” Heart Guardian felt herself starting to break down as her voice began to waver. “The next thing I knew, my daughter was screaming in this mare’s face. I was just in shock that somepony could be so cruel over something that I have no control over. I used to be able to smile properly and eat with my mouth closed before I developed Bell’s palsy. “I’m already self-conscious about it and this whole incident just made it so much worse! Please, Your Honor, I’m begging you to give her the maximum sentence you can give her.” Tipping Scales levitated a box of tissues over to Heart Guardian, her expression stoic. “Thank you for giving your statement, ma’am, and I’m sorry that this happened.” “The second statement is from Ms. Puzzling Insanity, the victim’s daughter.” Puzzling Insanity approached the podium, holding a written copy of her statement and carefully setting it down. “Good morning, Your Honor,” she said, barely able to restrain her anger as she read the note. “I do not believe that Spoiled Rich is sorry for hitting my mother. She struck my defenseless mother over her appearance. I remember hearing the slap and being overcome with rage and the urge to protect the mare who gave me life and advocated for me when I needed it most. “Your Honor, I meant every word I said in that video, and I believe that she deserves more than the maximum sentence, but I know that that’s not how the law works here in Equestria. I sincerely hope that justice is served in this courtroom.” Judge Scales noticed Puzzling’s eyes beginning to glow and quietly said, “If you need to go out into the hallway to cool down, you are more than welcome to do so.” Puzzling Insanity nodded, stiffly walking out of the courtroom and into the hallway. “The third statement, Your Honor, is from the defendant’s husband, Mr. Filthy Rich.” Filthy Rich stepped up to the podium and cleared his throat. “Good morning, Your Honor,” he said. “I want to say that my wife is no longer the mare I fell in love with all those years ago, and the fact that this dreadful display occurred in one of my stores is just awful. “I respectfully ask that this court impose the maximum sentence allowable, and I would like to state for the record that I do intend to file for divorce.” Spoiled Rich’s head whipped toward her husband and she screeched, “WHAT?!” Tipping Scaled banged her gavel and glared at the defendant. “Ms. Rich, must I remind you that you are in a courtroom? You will respect the proceedings or I will hold you in contempt!” The defendant shut up immediately. The judge turned toward Filthy Rich and said, “Sir, I’m sorry for the interruption; please proceed.” “Thank you, Your Honor,” Filthy Rich said. “As I was saying, I intend to file for divorce. The mare sitting on the defendant’s side of the room is not the mare I fell in love with. She is not the mare I married. As far as I’m concerned, she is a stranger to me.” “Thank you, Mr. Rich,” Judge Scales said, adjusting her spectacles. “And the final statement before the court is from the defendant’s daughter.” Diamond Tiara, missing her trademark accessory, walked up to the podium and adjusted the microphone. “Hello, Your Honor,” the young heiress said, focusing her attention toward the judge. “I have nothing really to say that hasn’t already been said. I wish to see Ms. Spoiled Rich receive the maximum sentence, and as far as I’m concerned I have no mother. Thank you.” Spoiled Rich was apoplectic, unable to speak as the filly returned to her seat in the gallery. Puzzling Insanity was escorted back to the gallery and sat next to her mother, hugging the older mare gently. “This court will take the statements given into consideration,” Judge Tipping Scales said. “Do either the prosecution or the defense have anything further to say?” “No, Your Honor,” the attorneys said in unison. “Thank you. In this case, the callousness of the defendant and the unprovoked nature of this offense call for nothing short of the maximum sentence. “Ms. Spoiled Rich, you are hereby sentenced to serve no more than 180 days in jail and pay a fine of no more than one thousand bits. I hope you take this time to reflect upon your actions. Any additional court costs in this matter have been waived. Court is adjourned.” As creatures of all kinds filed out of the courthouse, Puzzling Insanity sat down on the steps. Diamond Tiara stopped and sat next to her. “Exhausting, isn’t it?” the heiress said, trying to lighten the mood. “Yeah,” Puzzling said, a tiny smile crossing her muzzle. “At least I’m not the defendant this time.” “Preaching to the choir,” Diamond said, laughing a little. “Do you and your mom want to join me and Daddy for brunch today?” “It sounds nice, but we wouldn’t want to impose.” Diamond Tiara shook her head. “It’s not imposing if you’re invited,” she said. “There’s this really nice place that serves the best made-to-order omelettes and I won’t take no for an answer!” Author's Note I referenced my own state's laws regarding assault. According to the Ohio Revised Code, Section 2903.13, simple assault is a misdemeanor in the first degree unless certain circumstances occur.
I Feel Like A MonsterShe glared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her nostrils flaring as hellfire burned in her glowing yellow eyes. Her pupils had changed from the rounds of an earth pony to the slits of a batpony. Her pale orchidish-gray coat looked even paler in the fluorescent lighting, and her knuckles were bruised and bloodied. She gripped the sides of the bathroom sink and screamed incoherently at the mare in the mirror, baring her fangs as spittle flew from her mouth. Hot tears of rage and pain filled her eyes as her screams faded into sobs. She curled up in the corner of the bathroom and cried into her knees until a gentle knock at the door made her head snap up. “Um… I’m sorry to bother you,” a soft voice said from the other side of the locked door, “but would you be so kind as to unlock the door? That is, if you don’t mind.” Puzzling Insanity wiped her eyes with her hoodie sleeve and slowly got up. She listened to the little click as she watched herself turn the lock on the bathroom door and open it, revealing the owner of the voice to be a pale yellow pegasus mare. The pegasus gently brushed a lock of pink hair away from her cyan eyes and gasped in shock at the sight of the earth pony. After taking some breaths to steady herself, she cleared her throat and said, “My name is Fluttershy. What’s yours?” Puzzling Insanity produced an ID card from her pocket and handed it to Fluttershy, still not feeling like talking. “That’s an… interesting name,” Fluttershy said hesitantly. “What’s wrong, Puzzling? I heard screams coming from this bathroom.” Puzzling simply made a gesture like she was an Everfree beast about to attack and pointed to herself, then turned around and went back to the corner of the bathroom, hugging her legs as fresh tears spilled from her eyes and her shoulders heaved. The concerned pegasus entered the bathroom and sat down beside the distraught earth pony. “You’re not a monster,” she said softly. Puzzling sniffed and looked away. “Yes I am,” she finally said, her voice as hoarse as a raven’s croak. “If I wasn’t a monster, others wouldn’t hate me.” “Why do you think others hate you?” “Because every time I try to meet somecreature they react with horror or disgust, or they pretend to like me out of pity and then abandon me once they get tired of me. “And then I get stuck with my thoughts, and I feel like I’m at a never-ending rave where somecreature injected me with a mixture of liquid cocaine, ecstasy, steroids and embalming fluid. My mood changes every five minutes and I feel feelings so intensely that it’s physically painful and I end up hurting everycreature I care about because I hold on too tight because I’m terrified of being abandoned!” Fluttershy looked on as Puzzling Insanity let her soul bleed out, her own eyes welling up. “You poor, poor thing,” she said, her voice breaking as she reached for some toilet paper to dab at her eyes. Puzzling looked up at Fluttershy, her eyes red and swollen as she opened her arms. A whimper escaped her as she wordlessly asked for a hug. Fluttershy obliged, shifting so she was in front of the earth pony and hugging her gently. Puzzling buried her face in the crook of Fluttershy’s neck and wept openly. She was so tired of being in pain. Fluttershy knelt there for Faust knew how long, time seeming to stop as she attempted to comfort this total stranger. Eventually, Puzzling let go of the pegasus and fished into her hoodie pocket, pulling out her phone. “Can you please call my mom for me?” The question took Fluttershy by surprise, but she agreed, looking through the contacts on the phone and finding the correct one. After a couple rings, somecreature picked up. She cleared her throat. “Hello? Is this Puzzling Insanity’s mother? I’m sorry to bother you at this time of night. Oh, uh, my name is Fluttershy. No, I’m not a foalnapper; she wanted me to call you. Well, she’s, um, having a meltdown right now and doesn’t really feel like talking. Her knuckles are all bruised up and she’s really upset. She was telling me about how she thinks she’s a monster. Uh, we’re in the bathroom at Barnyard Bargains. Oh, my, you don’t have to come if you don’t want t- okay. I guess we’ll see you in a bit, then. I’m so sorry.” Puzzling looked at the floor as Fluttershy handed her phone back. Fluttershy gently placed her hand on Puzzling’s knuckles. “She’s gonna be upset because I ruined her night by being stupid again,” the earth pony said, her eyes welling up again. Fluttershy thought about everything Puzzling had said for a moment, putting the pieces together in her head before it dawned on her. Rapid-fire mood swings, fear of abandonment, painfully intense emotions. She gently asked, “I don’t mean to insinuate anything, but is it possible that you might have borderline personality disorder?” “I got diagnosed a few months ago,” Puzzling said, wiping her eyes. “Why aren’t you scared of me?” “Well, if I were scared of you, that wouldn’t do any good, would it?” Puzzling nodded. “Valid point,” she said. She slowly got to her hooves and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her pupils had returned to their usual round shape, and her irises had finally stopped glowing. And then she heard it. A slap rang out from the main part of the store, loud and clear. The screeching of a mare followed. “How dare you show your ugly face in public and desecrate my husband’s shop with your disgusting presence! In my day, uglies were locked away so us normal ponies didn’t have to see such hideous creatures like you!” Puzzling ran out of the bathroom and into the main area of the store. Spoiled Rich was berating a mauve-coated middle-aged earth pony mare with thin graying brown hair. The mare stood there in shock, a handprint beginning to color her cheek. A scream of pure rage made both of the older mares turn. “GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH!” Puzzling Insanity roared, her eyes glowing bright yellow and her pupils narrow black slits. She charged toward the mares and stood in front of her mother, her chest heaving as sheer hatred thundered through her veins and her heart threatened to burst from her chest. “LISTEN HERE, YOU ROTTEN CUNT!” Puzzling screamed, getting dangerously close to Spoiled Rich’s face. “MY MOTHER HAS BELL’S PALSY! SHE ALREADY DEALS WITH A VOICE IN HER HEAD TELLING HER SHE’S NOT PRETTY ENOUGH AND SHE SURE AS FUCK DOESN’T NEED SOME BALLBUSTING GOLD DIGGER HARPY BITCH WITH FUCKING EAGLE’S CLAWS TELLING HER SHE’S UGLY!” “Why, you little-” “SHUT UP! I’M NOT FINISHED! YES, MY MOM’S FACE IS PARALYZED ON ONE SIDE, AND YES, SHE CAN’T SMILE LIKE SHE USED TO, BUT FAUST DAMN IT, SHE’S A THOUSAND TIMES MORE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU’LL EVER BE BECAUSE HER HEART AND SOUL ARE BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH TO SET FIRE TO THE SUN! YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE PROCEDURES YOU CAN BUY TO KEEP YOURSELF LOOKING YOUNG, BUT YOUR INSIDES ARE ABSOLUTELY VILE, AND THAT MAKES YOU THE MOST HIDEOUS CREATURE IN EQUESTRIA!” Heart Guardian just looked at her daughter as tears filled her eyes. Puzzling took a deep breath and calmed down before grabbing a fistful of Spoiled Rich’s shirt collar and once again getting in her face. “And if I ever hear or see you insulting anycreature again, or I hear about it, I will not be held accountable for whatever I may do to you. Am I understood?” Puzzling Insanity bared her fangs threateningly and snarled. Spoiled Rich huffed indignantly, enraging the younger mare again. “I SAID AM I UNDERSTOOD?! YOU GIVE ME A FAUST DAMN ANSWER RIGHT NOW!” The older mare nodded frantically, grimacing as she felt Puzzling spit on her face. The young pony let go of her collar, leaving her to scuttle away, grumbling about respecting one’s elders and something about whales and breath mints. A school-aged earth pony filly with a pale magenta coat and white-streaked violet hair slowly approached the mother and daughter, pocketing her phone. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said. “You recorded the whole thing, didn’t you?” Puzzling deadpanned. Diamond Tiara beamed and nodded. “I didn’t think anycreature besides me had the chutzpah to stand up to my mother! Please, let me upload it!” Heart Guardian hesitantly looked at the filly and said, “I don’t want anypony to think I’m okay with my daughter saying those things.” “Let her,” the fanged mare said, shrugging. “Nocreature hurts my mom. I heard the slap. Everycreature did. If the video is uploaded, then maybe Spoiled will be arrested. Trust me, incarceration will be fucking Elysium compared to what I plan on doing to her next time she decides to be a bitch.” “Puzzling! I thought I raised you to not use that language in front of foals.” Diamond shrugged and said, “I’ve heard worse on the playground.” Heart Guardian hung her head and sighed, “Faust help the future generations.” After a few minutes on her phone, Diamond Tiara’s smile grew wider as she said, “And done! This is gonna be epic!” Puzzling looked around, cocking an eyebrow. “Where’s Fluttershy? Hold on, I’m going to look for her.” Slowly stepping into the bathroom, she saw no trace of the pegasus, but a note had been left behind. Dear Puzzling, I hope our talk helped earlier. Please take care of your mother. You seem like you love her very much. And please remember, you’re not a monster. Warm regards, Fluttershy
A Dinner To RememberTwo days after that incident, the video of Puzzling protecting her mother went viral and Spoiled Rich was arrested for assault. After she had been taken away kicking and screaming, Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara decided to pay Heart Guardian a visit. Their limousine pulled into a gravel driveway in front of a white sectional, and the driver exited to let the businesspony and heiress out of the vehicle. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara climbed the short set of steps and were surprised by the front door opening before either of them could knock. Puzzling Insanity looked them up and down before saying, “Just a moment, please.” With that, she turned around and shouted, “Mom! That Tiara kid and a stallion in a suit are here! What do I do?” “Let ‘em in before the cats get out!” Puzzling turned back toward the ponies standing outside and nodded. “Okay, you can come in,” she said, holding the door open for them. Heart Guardian smiled when Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara entered the humble home. “Hello,” she said softly. “Hello, ma’am,” Filthy said, nodding courteously. “Just wanted to check in. Before that, however, I do have a question for you.” “I’ll see if I can answer it.” The businesspony cleared his throat and asked, “Do you know a good divorce attorney?” Heart Guardian’s head cocked to one side and she blinked slowly. “I’m sorry, did you say divorce attorney?” “Yes,” Filthy Rich answered. “My wife was arrested a few hours ago for her atrocious behavior two days ago, and she isn’t the mare I fell in love with anymore.” “I-I’m afraid I don’t really know any divorce attorneys,” the mauve mare said sheepishly, “and I’m sorry about my daughter’s little fit. I swear I didn’t raise her to talk like that.” Filthy shook his head and said, “Ma’am, you don’t have anything to apologize for; clearly your daughter loves you very much if she’s willing to stand up to somepony like that for you. My wife slapped you and insulted your appearance, for Faust’s sake!” “But the death threat and the-” “Water under the bridge,” Filthy said. Puzzling looked up at Filthy Rich and quietly said, “In all honesty, Mr. Rich, I wanted to kill her. I only spared her life because of how important my mother is to me.” The businesspony stared at the fanged mare, his eyes wide and his eyebrows significantly higher on his face than normal. He tried to find the words to convey his thoughts, but when he tried to speak, words failed him. After a long moment, he finally said, “In spite of how… angry you may have been, I appreciate the restraint. Having a murder in one of our stores would be bad for business. I will say that your mother is very lucky to have a daughter as fiercely protective of her as you are.” “Thank you, sir.” Heart Guardian hung her head again, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. “Can I offer you something to eat?” she asked, looking at the floor. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara thought it over for a moment, then the businesspony shook his head. “I wouldn’t want to take advantage of your hospitality, ma’am,” he said, “but I do appreciate the offer.” “I offered because it’s getting close to lunchtime for my daughter,” Heart Guardian said. “It would be rude of me to make her something to eat and not offer guests some food.” Diamond Tiara’s muzzle wrinkled slightly at the smell emanating from the kitchen. “What’s that smell?” Heart Guardian hesitated for a moment before responding, “I have beef brisket cooking in the oven for Puzzling.” The businesspony and his daughter nearly went deathly pale at the thought of a pony eating meat. Filthy Rich swallowed hard and said, “I thought your daughter was an earth pony.” “Technically she’s three-quarters earth pony,” Heart Guardian explained casually. “My mother was a batpony and my father was an earth pony. Puzzling got her fangs, the glowing eye thing and a taste for meat from her meemaw, and I guess those genes skipped over me.” “So is she a carnivore or…?” “I’m an omnivore,” Puzzling piped up, “and I normally eat meat from animals that have been slaughtered humanely. Unless, of course, somecreature does something reprehensible enough for them to forfeit their right to live. “Plus, you gotta think, even if I did give in to my impulses that night, I’m sure her meat would taste horrible. Her name is Spoiled, after all.” Heart Guardian swallowed a lump forming in her throat and said, “Please excuse me.” With that, she stood up and entered the kitchen. “Puzzling, sweetie, do you want mixed greens and flowers with your brisket?” “Yes please,” Puzzling said, smiling and getting a plate from the cupboard. “Out of the way, honey,” her mother warned, about to open the oven door. “I don’t want you getting burned.” After taking the meat out and checking the internal temperature, Heart Guardian made a plate for her daughter, then washed her hands. She turned back and asked, “Are you absolutely sure I can’t offer you some flowers or greens? Maybe just some iced tea?” Filthy Rich gave the question a lot of thought before saying, “Actually, if it isn’t too much trouble, I suppose a plate of greens could do me some good.” “Me too,” Diamond Tiara said, nodding hesitantly. The middle-aged mare smiled as best she could and made three more plates, these being meat-free. “Here you go,” she said, setting the plates on the dinner table. “Thank you, ma’am,” the businesspony said before taking a forkful of mixed greens into his mouth. The corners of his mouth turned upward at the taste as he chewed. Swallowing the greens, he beamed at Heart Guardian and cleared his throat. “These are absolutely delicious!” Heart Guardian blushed a little at the compliment. “Why, thank you,” she said. “It’s just something I threw together.” “Please don’t be so modest,” Filthy Rich said, laughing. “I wouldn’t be surprised if your cutie mark had to do with the culinary arts!” Puzzling looked over at her mother and asked, “Could you please pass me some napkins, Mom?” “Of course,” the older mare said with a small lopsided smile, passing her daughter a few paper napkins. “I forgot how messy of an eater you can be sometimes.” “Thank you,” Puzzling said, gently dabbing at her lips with one. “Brisket is a messy food.” With that, she cut off another little piece of meat and ate it. She looked at the businesspony curiously after swallowing. “You sure you don’t want a bite? It’s really tender, and there’s cola and brown sugar in it.” Filthy Rich smiled nervously. “I-I’m good, thank you,” he said. He looked over at Heart Guardian. “I don’t mean to insult your cooking, ma’am, it’s just that-” “I understand completely, Mr. Rich,” Heart Guardian said, waving off the awkwardness. “I don’t like meat either; that’s just her way of trying to be nice. Puzzling, honey, make sure you eat your greens and flowers too.” Puzzling nodded, taking a forkful of plants and saturating them in the sauce on the plate before eating the greens and flowers. “May I ask where you got the beef for your daughter’s… cravings?” Filthy Rich asked, trying to be thoughtful in the way he worded his question. Heart Guardian nodded and answered, “Oh, there’s a nice little butcher’s shop near here. It’s been a Faust-send, especially during the full moon.” “What happens during the full moon?” Puzzling Insanity looked down at her now-empty plate, her ears back. As her cheeks took on a reddish color and tears pricked at her eyes, she said, “I’m overcome by savage rage and hunger and I start acting like a wild animal.” Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara exchanged wide-eyed pale-faced expressions, both having had a vivid mental picture painted for them. The young heiress blinked twice and pushed the image out of her head. She looked at the fanged mare again and reached across the table, gently taking her pale hand. Puzzling jumped and let out a surprised squeak from the sudden physical contact, but looked up to see a pink face with a gentle expression. “Can you take your glasses off for a second?” Diamond said, taking one of the clean paper napkins from the table. Puzzling took her eyeglasses off and set them down. The heiress proceeded to dab at Puzzling’s eyes with the napkin. “There we go,” Diamond Tiara said. “Your makeup was starting to run.” Puzzling gave the filly a sad smile before looking at Filthy Rich, her expression turning deadly serious. “They’re going to use that video as evidence in court,” she said, “and they’re probably going to want statements from my mother and myself. If you hear anything from the prosecutor, just give us a call.” “Of course.”
Statements and Sentencing“All rise,” the earth pony bailiff said, his voice loud and clear in the courtroom. “This court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Tipping Scales presiding.” Everycreature in the room stood at attention as an older unicorn mare with a pale gray coat and slate-gray eyes slowly made her way to the bench. The mare wore a black judge’s robe and thick-rimmed cat-eye glasses. As she sat down and adjusted her glasses, she nodded at the blue stallion, who simply said, “Be seated.” Tipping Scales cleared her throat and said, “Good morning, everycreature.” A chorus of voices saying “good morning” filled the room before the judge motioned for quiet and continued. “As you all may know, this is a court of law. There is a certain level of decorum to be expected in a court of law, and as such, any outbursts will be swiftly dealt with. If you feel you cannot keep your composure at any time, you are asked to leave before we proceed with this matter. Anyone who is out of order will be arrested and held in contempt of court. “Now, do I have a Ms. Spoiled Rich here?” Spoiled Rich simply said, “Yes, Your Honor.” “Ms. Rich, you have been arrested and formally charged with assault, a misdemeanor in the first degree in violation of the Equestrian Legal Code, Section 2903.13. We are here today for sentencing in this matter. If anycreature has a statement to make, now is the opportunity to approach and address the court.” The prosecutor, a pegasus mare with a sand-colored coat and jade-green eyes, cleared her throat. “Your Honor, we have four statements to be heard by the court,” she said. “The first statement is by the victim, Ms. Heart Guardian.” Heart Guardian stood at the podium and took a deep breath to steady herself before beginning. “Your Honor, I was only at the store because my daughter was having a meltdown in the bathroom and I’d gotten a phone call from somepony who was helping her through it. “When I got in there, I remember just being slapped across the face and screamed at by Spoiled Rich, and the next thing I knew…” Heart Guardian felt herself starting to break down as her voice began to waver. “The next thing I knew, my daughter was screaming in this mare’s face. I was just in shock that somepony could be so cruel over something that I have no control over. I used to be able to smile properly and eat with my mouth closed before I developed Bell’s palsy. “I’m already self-conscious about it and this whole incident just made it so much worse! Please, Your Honor, I’m begging you to give her the maximum sentence you can give her.” Tipping Scales levitated a box of tissues over to Heart Guardian, her expression stoic. “Thank you for giving your statement, ma’am, and I’m sorry that this happened.” “The second statement is from Ms. Puzzling Insanity, the victim’s daughter.” Puzzling Insanity approached the podium, holding a written copy of her statement and carefully setting it down. “Good morning, Your Honor,” she said, barely able to restrain her anger as she read the note. “I do not believe that Spoiled Rich is sorry for hitting my mother. She struck my defenseless mother over her appearance. I remember hearing the slap and being overcome with rage and the urge to protect the mare who gave me life and advocated for me when I needed it most. “Your Honor, I meant every word I said in that video, and I believe that she deserves more than the maximum sentence, but I know that that’s not how the law works here in Equestria. I sincerely hope that justice is served in this courtroom.” Judge Scales noticed Puzzling’s eyes beginning to glow and quietly said, “If you need to go out into the hallway to cool down, you are more than welcome to do so.” Puzzling Insanity nodded, stiffly walking out of the courtroom and into the hallway. “The third statement, Your Honor, is from the defendant’s husband, Mr. Filthy Rich.” Filthy Rich stepped up to the podium and cleared his throat. “Good morning, Your Honor,” he said. “I want to say that my wife is no longer the mare I fell in love with all those years ago, and the fact that this dreadful display occurred in one of my stores is just awful. “I respectfully ask that this court impose the maximum sentence allowable, and I would like to state for the record that I do intend to file for divorce.” Spoiled Rich’s head whipped toward her husband and she screeched, “WHAT?!” Tipping Scaled banged her gavel and glared at the defendant. “Ms. Rich, must I remind you that you are in a courtroom? You will respect the proceedings or I will hold you in contempt!” The defendant shut up immediately. The judge turned toward Filthy Rich and said, “Sir, I’m sorry for the interruption; please proceed.” “Thank you, Your Honor,” Filthy Rich said. “As I was saying, I intend to file for divorce. The mare sitting on the defendant’s side of the room is not the mare I fell in love with. She is not the mare I married. As far as I’m concerned, she is a stranger to me.” “Thank you, Mr. Rich,” Judge Scales said, adjusting her spectacles. “And the final statement before the court is from the defendant’s daughter.” Diamond Tiara, missing her trademark accessory, walked up to the podium and adjusted the microphone. “Hello, Your Honor,” the young heiress said, focusing her attention toward the judge. “I have nothing really to say that hasn’t already been said. I wish to see Ms. Spoiled Rich receive the maximum sentence, and as far as I’m concerned I have no mother. Thank you.” Spoiled Rich was apoplectic, unable to speak as the filly returned to her seat in the gallery. Puzzling Insanity was escorted back to the gallery and sat next to her mother, hugging the older mare gently. “This court will take the statements given into consideration,” Judge Tipping Scales said. “Do either the prosecution or the defense have anything further to say?” “No, Your Honor,” the attorneys said in unison. “Thank you. In this case, the callousness of the defendant and the unprovoked nature of this offense call for nothing short of the maximum sentence. “Ms. Spoiled Rich, you are hereby sentenced to serve no more than 180 days in jail and pay a fine of no more than one thousand bits. I hope you take this time to reflect upon your actions. Any additional court costs in this matter have been waived. Court is adjourned.” As creatures of all kinds filed out of the courthouse, Puzzling Insanity sat down on the steps. Diamond Tiara stopped and sat next to her. “Exhausting, isn’t it?” the heiress said, trying to lighten the mood. “Yeah,” Puzzling said, a tiny smile crossing her muzzle. “At least I’m not the defendant this time.” “Preaching to the choir,” Diamond said, laughing a little. “Do you and your mom want to join me and Daddy for brunch today?” “It sounds nice, but we wouldn’t want to impose.” Diamond Tiara shook her head. “It’s not imposing if you’re invited,” she said. “There’s this really nice place that serves the best made-to-order omelettes and I won’t take no for an answer!” Author's Note I referenced my own state's laws regarding assault. According to the Ohio Revised Code, Section 2903.13, simple assault is a misdemeanor in the first degree unless certain circumstances occur.
