Wings of Love

FAILED, how could I fail!? I.. I did everything right... so why? I said to myself as I looked back at the page, reading the front, back, edges and looked around for a note that would've fell saying Whoops, my mistake. But nothing, not even a note as I looked only in pure shock. I could feel my hooves shaking, my breathing becoming more erratic. I tried to hold my hooves still, but they shook as I began to mutter to myself. No,no,no,no,no... not again! NOT NOW!! I said hoping it would leave but no. I felt my mind split as I could feel a burning pain in my chest and wings, as I heard voices in my head. They screamed as I held my head down, while I kept shaking as I began to lose my mind.. again. "Failure, loser... never worth any life." The voices kept speaking as I turned my head to my brother as he looked only at the paper. I didn't even see him cry, not even one drop at it.

He looked at me, to which I saw only a face of anger screaming the same words again, until I snapped out of it. I saw him nearly wanting to get up and I tried to give my laziest and most forced smile ever. Just pretend everything is fine, just pretend you are wondering for his scores. I muttered under my breath as I forced a creepy smile and he sat back down while watching me. I tried to suppress the voices and sometimes it was easier and others hard. But then I glanced at... her, Starry. She reminded me a lot of myself, so upkept, proper... and looked amazing. Rage saw my eyes look at her and then I could hear a clearing of the throat and I looked back at the teacher. "Alright class is dismissed, I will be seeing some of you after class. So don't be late." Dawn spoke and I heard my gut clench as I got up and began to walk away when a hoof touched my back which caught me by shock.

"Where you going, you didn't show me your results?" It was Rage and I was already breathing heavily from the scare he just performed. I looked down and he apologized for it as I showed him my results. "Wow, you too... guess we both understudied... again." Rage said as he showed me the same thing I grew more curious as I decided nothing on such actions and watched as he went and talked with Nightingale again. Okay, officially they are getting it, like if they don't say anything about it. I'm gonna laugh here. I muttered as Rage spoke and then he turned to me and called for me to show my results. Yeah, if I didn't need any more destruction on my self confidence, then this will do it.

I showed my results and Nightingale just looked as I felt my stomach run miles as I got up and walked away to go and look for Starry while I waited for Rage to come over and we would head to Dawn's office together. But Starry wasn't anywhere to be seen, she liked... disappeared into the void. Rage then called for me as we all walked together with Nightingale to Dawn's office, to notice him just waiting for us. I noticed the 4th chair and then.. we watched as 3 ponies walked in. I got spooked as I fell to the ground hitting the floor HARD and heard a slight chuckle from either myself or another. Inside came, Sunset Moon, Lunar Dawn and... "Dancing Thorn" I heard Rage mutter under his breath in anger as his eyes sharpened on her. "Ah, your all here, now I can give what I needed to say to you all. First off, I am sorry for the method of which I brought all of you here today. The school wishes for me to not be doing this as it would impact the rules of the school. But I believe you 6 would be perfect for this task."

Dawn spoke again as I looked curious and confused at him as he opened the door beside his office and another pony walked in. "I wanted you all to be Ms. Starry's assistances with the newest class assignment due in a month's time. Considering you all have and or known her from somewhere. I believed you all would be great at this as I want you all to work together in general." Dawn spoke and no words, not even a single breath came out of the room . "So you want me to work with HER?" Rage spoke as his eyes darted for Dancing and her response was disgust towards him. "Don't think I forgot what you did last time you were with her. How can I trust an outsider, who doesn't know the life of popularity and classiness to handle helping her. Mr. Dawn, I speak of Starry but having those 2 would be dangerous for her. You and I both know her reactions to strangers." Dancing spoke on deaf ears as Dawn didn't want to hear any of it.

"Your petty differences doesn't matter much to me in the long run. What I care for are results and everyone succeeding here and if having you all work together, albeit a risky move will grant that. Then I am willing to take that risk for all of you." Dawn spoke and the second the words left his mouth. I couldn't tell if he was being truthful, or just hated all of us and wanted to see us suffer. Like... everyone usually wanted me to. "So, you want us to work with her? I can see having assistance is useful Dawn, but in general we all have different classes AND on top aren't even in the same classes." I heard a voice speak and noticed it to be Sunset Moon, her face glaring with confusion at Dawn's plan.

"I have my own methods to fix such errors and will be working around your times for this to work. For why I decided on you 6 is due to your personalities and set skills in general. Rage, you are well versed in technology, very charismatic and honest to the bone. This can be great to teach her some important things to pass her classes. Sunset, though you are more straightforward, act like a rock and focus on truth. You are easily the most knowledgeable in the study of psychology. That can be useful in teaching her some of the studies that are apart of this assignment." Dawn spoke as he looked at her and Moon didn't even smile. "Flattering" Moon said and I could feel the entire room shudder from the dead silence in that comment. When I looked at Nightingale, she looked down as Dawn spoke once more. "Nightingale, you are very.. well for ironically very sweet and gentle. Such personalities aren't found often these days, which can be useful in teaching. You and Lunar also have wonderful artistic skills, meaning you can help her in the visuals."

Dawn spoke and then reached Dancing Thorn who didn't seem pleased with this whole "call out". "You Dancing are a mix batch of good and bad, but you know her the best. So I brought you to help her in general when the others can't." Dawn spoke and Dancing just scoffed blowing her mane from her face. "Now you Bolt" Dawn spoke and my gut clenched and I felt my hooves shake. "Though we have our differences in your constant outburst and endless appointments with the nurses. I believe you share a closer connection with Starry than everyone here from previous experiences and things I've seen. So I chose you to help with more emotional stresses during college here." Dawn said and I felt my heart drop as I sat in my chair, not moving or even saying a word.

"Now to answer the whole assignment question. It's more a class piece where a group of 7 complete from different classes compete to win. Consider it a semi, talent show... make your class proud. At the school years end, the school gathers for it as each class shows off their skills. Since I know you all are apart of my classes in different times, I decided to flip the rules." Dawn said and all of our jaws dropped, "Wait, you want all of us to perform in front of the entire college in 8 months when we barely know or.. like each other?" Rage spoke as I looked down and began to shake slightly. Me...p..p...perform in front of EVERYPONY!!? Oh, I can feel my paranoia and stage freight coming back. I said to myself as my breathing increased and when Rage touched my back, I slowly calmed down. "Look, I'm gonna be honest with Bolt and his... reaction. None of us agreed and honestly, you never checked our skills and are putting lot of risk choosing us." Moon spoke again and this time we all nodded in unison.

Dawn simply chuckled he passed us 6 new papers, to which I grabbed and noticed it to be 2 pages clipped together. One of them was a signature page for accepting the offer, he proposed and everything with it. The second was the test but with my actual grade. 89/100, but why... why hide this? I muttered as everyone else looked shocked and confused. "I'll give you till the end of the week, Bolt I would like to ask you to help Starry find her way around the college please. She had a hard time and I requested security to come and find her." Dawn said and Dancing's face grew red instantly. "Mr. Dawn I INSIST that you don't allow HIM to do it. He barely can even keep his composure with others. I can't trust him with someone like..." Dancing's voice was cut off to Dawn's clearing his throat, most likely annoyed with her outbursts surrounding Starry.

"Ms. Thorn, do understand I know of her conditions and specified necessities, but to question my actions is to question yourself and Starry's choices as a whole. So please I ask that you all please think of what your choice is and I'll see you in a week. Starry and Bolt, you may leave." Dawn said and I quickly ran out as Dancing's glare nearly caused them to return. I snapped back as I told Rage I would meet him at the regular location.

As we left Starry didn't say any words as I guided her around. "Uhh, here is the gym and over here is the library. Do you have any questions or concerns yet?" I said trying to keep a straight face, but I couldn't stop looking at her. Her face lit with either excitement... or despair, I wasn't able to tell. "So, why did you come to college, I know you weren't administered into here at the start. Your name would have appeared on the attendance from day 1. Just wondering... not being nosy at all." I said and then hit myself without her knowing.

STUPID BOLT STUPID, now she's gonna think your invading into her personal life. I muttered as I didn't hear her talk back or even acknowledge me talking at al. "I.. I came.. cause, mom.. she said.. it.. ok for me to.. come to college" Starry said and I got caught off guard. Like even when we hanged at the cafe last time, she didn't speak and we just sat there. But she seemed happier than now, where the faint smile was gone. I didn't take anything of it until we walked back to the regular area which was the cafeteria, where I saw both Nightingale and Rage talking. "Ah, your done, I was wondering when you were gonna finish. I was just about to show Nightingale the thing we are working on." Rage said and I slightly smiled as I could see Nightingales face smile in intrigument.

"Ah, Starry it's nice to see you again, I wanted to apologize for what happened last time, with the whole y'know.. fight. Truly, I do apologize for said action made towards it, I hope no resentment is made towards us." Rage said and a slightly smiled formed from my face, from his kindness. He was always kind, especially after... that day.

Starry just formed a slight smile which I caught as I stared and then guided her to a seat as we sat down. "So Starry have you decided on if you wanted to take the option of participating. Me and Rage talked about it, and we would be excited to, especially with helping you in general with school work." Nightingale said and I smiled as Starry just looked down and slightly sniffled. "You..a..all, are too kind. Thanks, but.. I have to refuse, mom.. she'll be mad if I don't work... with her." Starry said and we all looked shocked. Her? Who would... be? I thought and then the cafe door swung open and Dancing, Moon and the others arrived.

"Oh thank Luna I found you, c'mon we better get going or your gonna be late." Dancing said as she grabbed Starry's hoof which caught me as rude. "HEY! We're supposed to be working as a team and can't you see we were talking to her. Besides, we still have 30 minutes before we have to leave. Let us talk to her." Nightingale spoke up flustered and I didn't blame her. It was getting old of her cutting us off everytime we got some communication with her.

"You don't get to say or do what you want with her as you please, you don't understand what she went through! THIS is why I didn't want to work with the 3 of you. All you do is cause more issues for Starry than good." Dancing spoke furious as the atmosphere grew anxious and tense. "Can't you all get over the petty differences and know we are here to help one pony, and to make our class proud." Lunar spoke as the area grew even more tense and I noticed Starry cowering away from everyone as she began to mutter to herself. This is like how I used to... back, when I... I thought as flashes of memories flooded my mind as I tried to suppress it again. The burns... the.. my wings, her face... the pains. But they came back, like wrecking balls. Everything... her.... the voices, the pains... I couldn't get it out. I fell to the floor screaming trying to remove them out of my head.

I could feel them touching me, not Rage nor anyone... but hooves of the ponies I rid myself from. Screaming internally I began to scratch my face and skin, trying to rip them out. "HEY are you ok!?" Rage's voice screamed as I began to call for help as I got up and began to shake as Rage guided me to a chair. "SEE, this is what I warned you Dancing! All you care about is HER, not knowing your impacting others as a result of your selfishness! Let her choose for ONCE instead of dictating her choices for the thousandth time!" Rage screamed as I felt myself coming back slowly, as the voices faded away.

Everyone was screaming and yelling at each other, some more intelligible than others. The rifts between us grew more distant, even if we weren't friends or enemies. "EVERYPONY STOP!!!!" Sunset screamed as she slammed her hooves down, silencing the entire room. "Don't you see we are fighting for someone else's choices.. we are destroying our friendships and one that can flourish for ourselves. Let Starry speak and decide her choice!" Sunset screamed her last part, as anger flooded her eyes in seconds. The cafeteria for once stayed silent as all our eyes jointed to Starry, who didn't have words.

"I.. I.. I want to work, with Nightingale and the others, I want to do.. I want to be in... the performance." Starry spoke and my eyes and Nightingales and even Rage's opened. Dancing instantly tried to cover her words by stepping in front of her. "Starry don't be ridiculous, you can't work with them.. you know the promise what was made?" Dancing said and I finally pieced it together. "Your mother? She told you to work with Dancing didn't she Starry?" I said and Dancing eyes narrowed on me. "Whatever, it doesn't matter what promise or whatnot. We still have a week. Let's go Starry." Dancing said as Starry walked behind her and then ran to me and hugged me, catching me off guard. "Thank you, for helping me find my way and defending me last time. Sorry.. for this, but we may not speak again." Starry said quietly right in my ear where nobody would see it and then walked away as they left.

"Well, we should... get going, but you have our supports to do the group project together, we shall be seeing you later." Lunar said as she and Sunset left, leaving just us 3 standing there, defeated. "What... just happened?" Nightingale said as she looked at us, who didn't even have any words. "I think, we angered Dancing... and most likely lost our chances on working on the project together." Rage said as I nodded softly, looking back at everything. "Wait, that reminds me, what did she say to you Bolt?" Rage said and I got caught off guard as I held back wanting to say it. "Oh, she just said she was thankful for the help." I said and Nightingale looked curious. "I'm just confused, you said mother... but she doesn't..." Nightingale spoke and then caught herself to which I caught on but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't bother speaking about it, cause it would reveal a lot that happened... especially that day in particular.

"Well, we should be getting home.. OH I just found out Bolt that the college is giving you your own full room. I already moved your stuff this morning." Rage said as I stared shocked as one of the biggest thing I wanted was my own room. But right now I didn't feel like I deserved it, considering what just happened. Nightingale and Rage walked ahead as we decided to head back to our place, she reluctantly joined after Rage asked in a nice tone for once. But I stayed behind, thinking back to the flashes and memories that flooded my mind, what they meant and why they returned. I've considered myself a very normal stallion, if you can call having nightmares and flashbacks to my past normal. But I believed they were gone, considering the last major one was 7 years ago. But seeing them again, was a hard reality to face... knowing I will have to deal with them again.

Upon reaching back, Rage and Nightingale... seemed to get close. Rage began to blush as he showed her his room, the gadgets he uses including his fancy computer he always brags about to me. "You 2 are very... secluded from society aren't you? Considering all the technology and well... equipment, you don't get a lot of visitors do you?" Nightingale said as I chuckled and Rage glared at me. HA HA, somepony had to tell him and who better than his apparent crush. I muttered and Nightingale looked at me. "I have to ask you Bolt something and this caught my attention throughout our experiences together, your trips to the nurses as Dawn said, your breakdown during the fight today. You suffer from something don't you?" Nightingale spoke and me and Rage kept our mouths shut. SHOOT! How did she figure it out!? Like, she can't know this... not now! I said to myself as I held my head in shock.

"If I am crossing a line, please let me know. But I don't believe you just have a social problem Bolt, as many who do would express different symptoms. I think you suffer from traumas, where I can't be sure... and if this is true. It would explain so much that I and many others have seen. It would also help close in on why Dawn chose you to work with Starry as you share the same well experiences." Nightingale spoke and we were left speechless. "Hey Bolt.. you mind heading to your old room and finish packing up your stuff. I just need a minute with Nightingale and then I'll show you to your room" Rage spoke in a downed and defeated tone, compared to his cheerful and happy voice as I left

"How much did you figure out..." Were the last words I heard from Rage before they were muffled out by me leaving. I walked into my old room and found a old box labeled From parents. I stared at it, curious from what the contents were inside, considering I never saw this box before. I didn't notice much of importance from old letters from mom and dad, to old game ideas and art and concept ideas I drew up. But then there was something in a dirty old letter labeled From mom. My heart slowly crushed as a tear shedded down as I saw beside it 2 items. One containing a old trophy that was won at the annual Appleloosa competition. The 2nd was a picture of Rage, mom, dad and... me. I opened the letter and began to read what it said.