Dear [Insert],

Dear Quibble Pants,

I never got to say this enough, but you really suck at sports. No offense.

Yours,
Rainbow Dash the Awesome Athlete

P.S. Oh, and you're fat. Better start working out for your girlfriend or she might start getting interested in me!

Dear Shitfire,

I deserve to be co-captain already! I'm a natural-born athlete that's WAY better than the other members who've been Wonderbolts way before me. I'm still better than them. You know Soarin still can't fly straight without clipping his wing, right? Serves you right about naming him Clipper.

Yours,
Rainbow Dash

Dear Rainbow Crash,

Go fuck yourself, you egotistical arrogant little cunt.

Your Only Best Flyer and Captain,
Spitfire

Dear Twilight,

Quick. Send me a book. Any book. I need it. Now.

Your Friend,
Rainbow Dash

P.S. In case you're wondering, it's to stick it up Spitfire's ass till she moans louder and saucier enough that she eventually gives me a co-captain position on the team.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Being greedy gets you nowhere. You've only been a Wonderbolt for a few years whereas the other members have been a member way longer than you. I get it you're a natural-born flyer and everything, but these things take time.

Don't worry, you'll get the position eventually.

Your Friend,
Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Forget it. I don't need you. Why did I even come to you anyway?

• Rainbow Dash

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Are you gay? Please say yes because I've had a crush on you for so long!

I can name others who do too!

Let's see:

Gilda, Captain Celaeno, Spitfire, Soarin, Fleetfoot, Daring Do, Applejack, Fluttershy...

Wow! That sure is a lot! But please pick me!

Yours Truly,
Pinkie Pie

Dear Pinkie,

What are you on about?

Did you take more drugs?

• Rainbow Dash