The Mayor Of Canterlot

Once he took a quick dip into tomato juice, and after a quick shower, Mark resumed his tour around the castle with the two guards. Luckily neither of them seems to have any recollection of his glowing and keeping their words, remain professional and friendly until the end when they parted ways after the guards escort him back to his room.

Stretching and sighing in exhaustion he was about to change clothes and see what else he could do to finish his day when his phone came to life with an unknown number on it. Remembering what the Sore Eye told him, he pressed a button on top of the scroll to start tracking and sending a signal to the royal guards before answering a distorted voice on the other side.

"Enjoying your new life in the palace?"

With an exhausted sigh, he looked up. "I was wondering when you were gonna call me, since you took my friend I have been meaning to have a long chat with you. Whoever you are, I promise if you harm her..."

"Careful Mayor, you are in no position to make any treats and if you want to keep your precious pet alive, I advise you to stay on my good side."

Sighing in exhaustion he looked at the window, "Let me talk to her, I will not listen to a single thing until I know she is okay."

For a couple of seconds, there was only silence coming from the other side until he heard a door open.

"Sir?" The voice of Drusilla came from the other side

"Ms. Drusilla? Are you okay? Have they hurt you?"

"I'm okay for now, they have me tied up on a wooden chair. Sir, I'm afraid! Just do what they tell you."

"That is enough of that." The distorted voice appeared again. "There you go Mayor, safe and sound, and it will continue to be as long as you do exactly what we tell you."

"I gathered as much, what is it gonna be? Money? A pardon? To pitch an idea for a new law?"

"Do not think we are interested in such simple things. We are not interested in money or favors, in fact, pretty soon money would no longer be an issue for you."

"Yeah, the royal guards told me about Silver's sudden change in his will, why did you make him give me all of his money?"

The voice laughed briefly before continuing, "Consider it a preview, during your election campaign you kept insisting that you speak for the common folks. We will see how many fans you keep after everypony sees your hypocrisy."

"So this is it? The kidnapping? The murder? My house? The drugs? All of this just to harm my public image and make me look like a hypocrite in front of the masses?"

"Make you look or merely expose the real you? I always knew you didn't have what it takes to be a mayor. When things start to get hard, you will crack under pressure and just do and say anything to save your behind."

"...What do you want?" Mark answers with neutrality, refusing to fall into his taunts.

"We are done with the taunting then? Fine by me, this is my first demand so listen well, your primate. Right now, all of Canterlot is pondering if you are gonna try to mount the entire female guard of the castle during heat week, if you care for the safety of your secretary a day before that, you are gonna a release another press conference, and tell every pony that the rumor is true, and you have decided to make your living arrangement permanent."

"You want me to lie?"

He laughs momentarily, "No, and think of this a favor, you already broke plenty of promises, this is your chance to do some damage control, frankly, I’m doing you a favor, deep inside I know you always wanted things to end up like this."

"You know nothing about me."

"We'll see, I will leave the number of mares you will help up to you, but as far as Canterlot knows. The mayor would be a member of the relief corps from inside the castle walls. In fact, I want solid proof, something worth putting on the front page of the news. Right after your announcement you better kiss a guard next to you or something of the likes, there better be a show for the press."

He sighs in frustration, "I would never be able to live this down if I do that."

"So you don't care for your little friend's safety?"

"No, I...I will do it, but I don't get it, what exactly do you want from me? Do you want to hurt my image but also force me to live in luxury? What exactly is your goal here?"

A sinister laugh is his only response before the pony continues, "If you manage to survive the ordeal, I may tell you, but for now I suggest you get comfy on your bed, from this point on, you are living in OUR world and we call the shots here. You should have stepped down from office when we gave you the chance."

Before he could reply the call ended. Making him pause and then close his eyes and exclaim a tired sigh. Moments later two royal guards knock before entering the room.

"Did you manage to catch it all?"

"We did, and our experts are triangulating their position as we speak, unfortunately, they took precautions. The call was encrypted so it will take time."

"You know, part of me knew something like this would happen." He sighs and sits on a nearby chair, "I suppose this means I will have to continue playing along?"

The officer nods, "For his demand, he is gonna expect a front page with you affirming their claims, but due to how late he wants you to make the announcement, there is a chance he or a member of their group might appear to have visual confirmation, it’s not a 100% guarantee, but that is a chance we should take."

"Meaning it’s best if I give in to their demands and make the speech. Would there be any chance we could use an illusion so I don't actually have to act like a pervert with a guard?"

"Sorry sir, illusions don't work on cameras, but we can coordinate the act, so it only LOOKS like you are getting your way with her."

"Not sure if that would make much of a difference with heat week literally one day away." He sighs in defeat, "But it’s better than nothing I suppose."

He brings his hand to his face, "I can't wait for this mess to be over, I'm starting to feel that I have been going on that stupid podium almost on a daily basis. Ponies will start to think I got a giant ego, and love to hear my own voice."

"Just bare it with us a little longer sir, we promise pretty soon we will rescue Ms. Dracul, for now, the important thing is to keep her safe."

He nods and after discussing the details of the plan the two officers leave to give him time to breathe and collect himself.

Taking a glass of water he tries to calm his nerves when the glow in his arms appears once more.

Just great, I'm so nervous it’s starting to show again. His eyes wide in fear.

And if it happens during my speech, half of Canterlot would be at risk! I need to... my gloves and long shirt!

He rushes to his vaults and starts looking around. I know Luna packs them, where are they, where are they!"

He stops when he collects some bandage rolls and an idea comes to mind.

Could be a plan B.

As he ponders if he should or shouldn't use them to earn some pity and with any luck make the mare guards not go too hard on him, something catches his attention, and makes him raise an eyebrow.

A feather? He picked it up and inspected it carefully, Why would a feather be stuck to my sheee...

His train of thought stops mid-sentence as everything pieces together and he is left cold having resolved the mystery right away. ...eeeet! HER?! But I...But her...HER!!...I...how?!

A knock on his door snaps him back to attention followed by its opening, causing him to put the feather back and stand up with a startle. "Mark?"

Walking into the room, Princess Celestia looks at him in concern as she notices how much of his clothes were scattered all over the place. "Is everything okay?"

"Ahm!" He looked around and took a glance at his arms sighing in relief in his mind when the glow faded. "Everything is fine Celly."

"Is that a bandage roll?" She points at his other hand and he realized he was still holding on to it.

"Ah y-yeah, it is."

She gets closer now, more concerned than ever, "Did something happen? Are you injured?"

"Why would I be...? No!" He understood and dropped the bandages, "Just thinking of ideas." He sighs in melancholy, "The kidnappers talked with me, with a very weird demand, aimed to harm my image even further." He looked at the open vault where he dropped the first-aid "Though it might help if I look like I got injured arms or something, it is a weird idea I know."

"Would you like to talk about it with me, Luna and Twilight?" Celestia offers pointing at the door, "Luna prepared something new that she wanted us to try out. Don't bother asking me, she insisted on it to be a surprise."

The feather suddenly comes to his mind as he gulps, "I'm not sure if that would be a good..."

"Please." She stopped him by grabbing his hand, "If not as a distraction, at the very least we could help you brainstorm ideas."

He wanted to refuse, but getting lost in her magenta eyes pleading for his company made it impossible to refuse.

Damn it Celestia, that is not fair!

"Okay, y-yeah maybe it would be better if I talk with someone." He nods and lets her guide him outside the room, his mind filled with all sorts of conflicted emotions.

Once they arrived at the dining room Twilight was already waiting for them using the same clothes she wore when he met her for the first time. A simple long black and white square skirt, a brown formal vest on top of a formal bottom shirt, and a friendship leather bracelet. Of course, tailor-made and bigger to fit her with her new weight but because of what was going on in his mind the human couldn't help but feel her clothes might be a size too small for her, and as much as he tried to act casual and calmed, Mark couldn't help but feel tense the moment she came forward for a hug that he swears, linger a bit too much. A notion that she quickly notices, but he manages to dismiss her concern by blaming it on the kidnapping, which was true, just not the only reason.

Engaging in some small chat things manage to calm down somewhat while the 3 waited for Luna.

Sharing a laugh Mark takes another sip of water as Twilight finishes recalling a dirty story of hers to lighten the mood.

"And to this day I still get one or two stallions showing me their wings in case I got 'curious' again." Twilight finishes making air quotes.

"Oh boy I can't believe I missed that, you really didn't know that to keep staring at pony's wings was a type of flirting?" Mark asks in disbelief as he chuckles, "Well compared to me, you got off easy, I got a slap in the face before I found out."

"So sorry to hear that." Celestia mentions in pity, "Some ponies are simply quicker to anger than others. I only pray that was the only incident."

"Oh, believe me, I got more careful from that point on."

"Oh do tell." Celestia leaned forward more than a little intrigued. "Was there a time you needed to exercise caution?"

"Well, there was this one time, but nah, you don't want to hear it."

"Oh come on Mark! I just finished telling you a dirty story, now, it your turn."

"Didn't know there was a 'turn' system in place." He mentions with a raised eyebrow.

"Would it help if I share one of my own next?" Celestia offers, leaving both him and Twilight stiff as they slowly turn to her.

"You Prin...I mean Celestia?" Twilight asked in disbelief as she only shrugged.

"I'm not made of stone Twily, I have my adventures, but I would only tell if he goes first."

"Oh, now you HAVE to tell us Mark, please, please, please!"

"Fine, but really it is not much of a story and more of a miss understanding. You see, back then when I was visiting Seaquestria, I took a tour of the underwater city, while turned into a sea monkey, yes I know, the irony doesn't escape me either." He rolls his eyes as Twilight and Celestia had to contain their giggling.

"...And as per usual when visiting new places I start to talk with the locals and even manage to meet Princess Skystar, who even invites me for dinner at her home."

"Oh, this is getting interesting." Celestia gets closer and even Twilight leans forward curious about where it was heading.

"Great host, she and her mother, very nice people and good food, was a bit startled when Skystar invited me to spend the night, but when she told me that Twilight here sent her a letter about me, everything made a lot of sense."

"Oh yeah! I remember I wanted you to meet her at some point or another."

"Oh, I almost did." He confessed with some blush, "More than I have expected to be honest."

"What happened?" Celestia asked.

"Well everything was going smoothly and I was preparing to go to bed when the princess asked me if before bed I would like to see the royal clams." With a big blush, he covers his head, and leaning against the desk he covers his face with his arms.

"I don't get it. What is so dirty about that?" Twilight asks with a raised eyebrow as she and Celestia take a sip of their drink.

"Depending on the context where I come from, the term "clam" is slang for vagina." Mark clarified, still refusing to make eye contact with them and subsequently hearing both spits their drink on the spot.

"What?!" They both yell at the same time as he nods and stands up seeing how they were now red too. "And you though that she meant...why?!"

"It was an honest mistake ok?! Later I discovered she meant an ACTUAL clam collection she and her mother made but right there because it was late, they invited me to dinner and were very cordial with me. Well, things could have easily been miss interpreted, not helping with HOW they describe it."

He sighs before starting to quote them, "Yeah, me and my mom´s clams, hers is definitely bigger, but between us, mine is prettier, since I accessorize it." The mares start to snicker, "I remember you used to take such poor care of yours back when you were a filly, I always end up having to clean it up, sometimes even twice a day." They were physically struggling not to laugh, "Hey yours used to be full of spiderwebs until I came." They were about to burst as they were turning red. "Plus I wash it daily now, mom!" That finally broke them as they start to laugh uncontrollably. "But you keep forgetting to do it properly dear, how many times do I have to tell you that you need to reeally stick your fin inside if you want to keep your clam nice and sparkly."

"STOP!" Twilight managed to yell as she had tears in her eyes and had difficulty speaking between the laughing. "Please...I'm gonna pee!"

"Oh by all heavens! Tell me...you...you manage to clear the air." Celestia begs while cleaning a tear from her left eye."

"Not exactly, their argument kept escalating until Skystar said 'I clean it up real nice this time, see?" And then I looked away thinking she was about to flash his mother until Nova asked me what I was doing, and when I took a tentative look at them, saw both royals looking at me confused as Skystar was holding a clam with google eyes and a mustache."

"Oh my goodness, that is quite the tale." Celestia drinks some more to recover her breathing.

"So did you explain the confusion to them?"

"Oh heck no! I wasn't ready to offend my host or earn another slap, so I told them I saw a shark and agree to look at their collection, kind of sweet, how mother and daughter share the same hobby and all that." He drink some more and smiled, "Took me a while to look them in the eyes after that though I can tell you that."

"I bet, I mean, do you imagine what it would feel if a princess suddenly flashes you out of the blue, like some bizarre type of flirting?"

"Je yeah...imagine," He says, focusing on his drink.

"So Celestia I think it’s your turn now to tell a story." Twilight turns her attention to her and Mark got a glance at said princess as she nods.

"Indeed, now let’s see, what could be a nice little story."

Before she could come up with something Luna arrived wearing a chef outfit and pushing a cart with four concealed plates on it. "Good evening everypony!" She greeted them all with a big grin.

"Evening Luna."

"Hi, Luna." Both Twilight and Mark great her in their own way.

"Well, somepony seems to be in a particularly cheerful mood." Celestia smiled and raised an eyebrow as Luna served the plates.

"What can I say, sister? I got inspired." Luna looks at Mark in pity, "I know how things are hard right now, but things will get better, and maybe something good could happen out of all of this." She takes a seat, "I mean having you around the castle has given me an excuse to explore my horizons beyond a typical equestrian diet." She looked around, "Go ahead, open them up. I want to see what you think."

Curious they all did just that and after the air cleared from the steam they all see their unique dishes, "For you sister, I know how much you like your salads, and simply adore a fruit mix so I combined the two and made you a recipe of my own." Celestia had a plate with lettuce balls, with accompanied by soy sauce on the side. "Combining the two I made these specially made lettuce balls with rice and soy sauce."

"A creative idea sister, can't wait to give it a try."

Pleased by that, Luna turns to Twilight, "Twilight, I know how despite being a princess you still enjoy the simple things in life so I decided to take a simple concept and experiment with the possibilities." For her, she had a plate with 3 big hamburgers. "I call it 3 flavor patties, each one has a unique combination of not only the condiments but all the way to the type of bread."

"Oh, but one of them got burned." Twilight mentions looking at the darker patty.

"Oh no, that is how it is supposed to be, that’s chocolate-flavored bread."
That caught her attention and took a tentative bite. "Wow, this tastes incredible! Thank you, Luna!"

Grinning in pride she turned to the last dish, "And for our new resident. I know you are set on moving out once you find a new home, but in case you decided to stay dishes like this could be on the menu indefinitely, plates that answer to your unique paladar." He admired 3 different empanadas with a cut in the middle of them and to his cringe all having the colors of the mares on the table, "Getting inspiration from Twilight buns I decided to try other types of bread and combinations for this empanadas, the purple is filled with beef and bittersweet sauce. The white one is a traditional pizza flavor one with all the topics and extra cheese to make it creamier, that is why it's the biggest of the 3, and my favorite, the blue one that is for dessert, filled with blueberry cream, ice-cream, and some grapes."

She leaned forward, "What do you think?"

Starting to sweat, Mark tries his best not to think that the slang empanadas have been reinforced not only by their color of them but also by the specific cut in the middle Luna made of them. Gulping he nods and smiles at Luna, "They look delicious."

Seeing some of their content spilling he got intrigued and using his finger, he scooped some of its content to taste. "And it tastes delicious too." He takes more samples enjoying the flavor until Celestia loudly clears her throat.

"Mark dear, the utensils aren't there just for show." She calmly reprimanded his table manners, with a small heat on her cheeks for some reason.

"Oh sorry, sorry!" He starts eating normally and tries to ignore the mental image in his head of the princesses naked and spread eagle in front of him asking if he wants a taste with bedroom eyes.

"A bit spicy!" He cleans his forehead with a napkin close by, "But definitely delicious."