Spike Takes a Sh*t

by Spazz Kid

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Other, Starlight Glimmer, Profanity, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1055

Spike takes a sh*t.

Spike takes a sh!t.

Warning!: Nothing makes sense anymore

"Simply brilliant. A work of pure magic rivaling the efforts of Hemingway, Dostoevsky, Shakespeare, and even the philosophies of Jesus Christ himself." - Spinner of Tales

"Dude, what the hell is this?" - Great Red

"This is actually brilliant" - MasaStormyPonez

"What the fuck" - ItsYaBoiSatan

Published 2022-04-01 15:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-04-01 15:30:00 UTC

Spike takes a Sh#t

"SPIKE!" Twilight's voice was heard throughout the castle.

"Ye?" Spike said, walking into the throne room of the castle, where her voice was originating.

"WHO TOOK A SHIT ON THE FLOOR?!" Twilight screamed at the young dragon, pointing at a pile of.. well, shit, on the floor.

"Me lol" Spike said, crossing his arms.

"Wha- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" Twilight screamed even harder, a look of disgust on her face.

"I thought it was a fart lmao" Spike shrugged

"SPIKE, YOU FUCKING-" Twilight quickly stopped herself from continuing her sentence, taking a few deep breaths. She then forced her face into a blank expression" Spike-"

Starlight slammed through the door. "SPIKE TOOK A SHIT ON THE FLOOR??"

"Yeah I did, fuck you gon' do about it" Spike said swagtastically

"Spike." Twilight whispered from right behind Spike.

"Yeah, what you want?" Spike said, spinning around fearlessly.

"I want you to clean up your shit." Twilight said, trying to keep herself from tearing the dragon into millions of little pieces.

"And why the hell would I do that?" Spike asked like a stupid

Twilight punches him

"I see. Fair point." Spike said, before whipping out a knife and a fork.

"Wait, bro, what the fuck are you doing" Twilight and Starlight asked at the same time, watching Spike walk over to the pile of shit, looking like a guy walking over to a pile of shit with a knife and fork in hand

"Imma clean up my shit shawty" Spike lessgo'd, sitting his fat ass next to the pile of equally fat shit.

"Ain't no way bro" Starlight said, her eyes widening in awe.

"This can't be happening" Twilight muttered, staring at Spike in shock

Spike then violently inhaled the pile of shit

"Why, I must say, this pile of jewel encrusted dragon dung is absolutely exquisite, but I shant ask for another, as I am already full." Spike patted his fat stomach like a stupid

"Well, that happened." Twilight said, a bored look on her face.

"Ain't no way bro" Starlight said for the first time.

Spike's life suddenly nae-naed out of existence.

"Oh look Spikes dead now." Twilight said, staring at the now fully decayed carcass of the dragon

"Damn isn't that unfortunate" Starlight wordeded

it was now 10 seconds flat later HAHHAHAHAH and it was now Spike's funeral everyone was there and everyone was very sad becayse Spike is now dad

"Damn Spike really iss dead" Applehat said, looking into the casket

"That's kinda sad yo" Raidow Bash said recording a toktik

"This really says a lot about our society" Said Spazz kid, thinking this is smort social commentary

Suddely Markiplier comes down from the clouds, the angles of heaven of heaven surrounding him
"E"
he's gone now

"I am very sad" said Pinkie Pike, looking like Pikenmea from the Cupkaks creeypasta "Imma go kermit sewer slide' she walked off screen, because nothing is real

"I'm not even here" Says Flutt, in her house, across town, because she can't be fucked

"Everyone! Look, it's Spike's will!" Twilight says, pulling out a long paper. She unrolls it, "'I want gay people to not exist'

You grunt, falling to your knees. You look over at Twilight, tears welling up in your eyes. "Ms. Sparkle. I don't feel so good..." You then Tom Holland out of existence.

"Damn, he was actually gay" Twiggles says, vomitting out of her eyes. "Ew anyway ' I then want evryone to want to do thee hangy pamky with me"'

"Daman I kinda wanna fuck Spike rn" Rarity said, biting her lip at the rotting corpse

"Thats kinda gross bro" Celestia said, cake

"That's sexist" Rariy screams literally flaling her arms

"I'm literally a woman" Celestia deadpans

"Damn, this is pretty fucked up" Says Marshall Bruce Mathers III, famously known as world renowned rapper Eminem.

Rarity then commits Mini Ladd on Spike's very dead corpse

Next thing you know, Rarity is in a jail cell, everyone looking in through the bars.

"You know Rarity, there is a very important lesson to be learned from all of this." Twilight said, grinning at the convicted degenerate.

"And what is that?" Rarity questioned.

"That you're a perverted freak. Have fun rotting in jail, lame-ass" Twilight and the gang then run off into the sunset, leaving behind Rarity to wallow in her own filth.

And then giant whales began flying through the sky, screaming My Chemical Romance songs until each other's heads exploded. And then Set It Off hosted a concert, but not in Equestria. Then Daft Punk regrouped, did nothing for another ten years, then disbanded, the public responding with mostly negativity, which then led to the overthrowing of the Equestrian government. Then 4chan showed up, then enslaved the entirety of the world.

All together, the ponies and the 4chan imps created Facebook, then sold it to a a lizard man from another dimension. Then Eminem released Rap God II, and became the worlds first sextillionaire.

But even as all of this was happening, Spike's corpse sat in its casket, waiting to be put in the ground. Neglected, for thousands of years. No one remembered.
No one cared.

No one, except...
Well, still no one. Everyone fucking hates Spike.

Let this be a cautionary tale to those that wish to avoid going to the lavatory when shit is about to fill their trousers, and would rather drop a fat mixtape on the ground rather then waddle the extra ten feet. If you wish to be the ultimate giga chad sigma male/female, you must empty your bodily waste into the porcelain throne when you feel your butthole is about to explode.

There are thousands of epic ways to empty your butthole, such as; the Nukem Technique, the Jojo Reference, the Sussy Mogus, the Browns' Family Vacation, the Uncut Gem, and many more for you and your family to enjoy. Buy the latest in a series of Shitting Mastery instruction booklets today for only $420.69, shipping and various other charges may apply, tax not included.

Wait, this was a story about Spike, uh...

Spike then had a harem and then live happily ever after with his gross pony-dragon hybrid babies.

THE END

Author's Note

I am so sorry.

It's April Fools Day, and I've got nothing better to do.