Author's Note
What the heck r u still doing here?
Probably reading?
Sincirily,
-YaBoiSatan
P.S. I love u guys, April Fool's Bitches.
Introductions, Bitch
Anon spartan kicked the boutiques front door open to announce his arrival, the bell's (In General) didn't even stand a chance.
"HEY RARITY!, I Got Socks-N-Shorts-N-Sandals, BITCH!"
As he Michael Jacksoned his was way in, he stopped and willed Sweetie Bell into breaking it downTM
https://youtu.be/lQIBZpIYqMM
"Hey Anon."
Spike said as if nothing had just transpired.
"Anon!, You Uncouth Asshole!, that was my new antique One Of A Kind, Authentic Prance Made!, Hand Crafted Door Bell!, and Custom Mahogany Door!"
Anon had walked in on the scene of rariteets putting pins and needles in spikes back well making a quilt or some shit.
"Yes Indeed, RariBitch Bell, Have you noticed anything else?~"
BITCHITY INHALES SO FUCKING HARD HER HEAD EXPLODES THEN REGROWS.
"Oh No..."
"What have you done...?"
"What do you mean rarity?, don't yo bitch ass like my new drip."
He says as he begins doin it to em'.
Rarity begins bawling her eyes out, literally discord showed up for a tenth of a millisecond with an OK👌 symbol below his waist and everything.
"What the Fuck Rarity, why do you have to be so God damn based all the time?"
Said the Shit-Eating Bastard.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD!, CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP ANONYMOUS!, I can't EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING HALF THE TIME!."
Replied the Stupid Bitch Rarity
Anon reverse moonwalks his way over, (If that makes sense), and boops her on the nose.
"Then Allow me to explain, u insolent buffoon."
"No!, I will not stand for your crimes against humanity."
She enters a power stance and prepares to rip off Anon's Pan(is)ts.
He then does a JoJo pose, teleports behind her, and whispers,
"tsk, tsk, tsk, why does it always have to be such a struggle."
Then sweeps her off her feet making her drop her fat ass to the floor.
"Rarity in the most honest words I can manage, your simply not kek enough to understand how based you are."
"You're just too Sussy, Cringey, and Baka."
"I don't even know what the fuck that means?"
The Attention Whorse said well turning the tables and pinning him to the ground.
"He's saying that you need to stop being a such a stuck up bitch in the mud and appreciate the manliness of his dadly footwear."
Spike casually said as if he was important to the conversation.
"Shut Up Spike!"
They both replied out of their kindness for spikes gentle heart.
"Besides-"
Privileged Bitchity started,
"Even if I could Apprie-"
"Who-"
Anon interrupted,
"Even if I could Appreciate-"
She tried to finish but was luckily pushed out of the conversation by someone that had much more meaning in their words.
"-Asked?"
Anon finished, completely not out of turn in the conversation.
"Darling, are you stupid in the head?, Spike obvio-"
"Nobody Cares?"
"Nobody asked, especially not anybody in this room."
He had justly brought the conversation to a hiatus.
Then he grabbed a pound of cocahena out of thin air and handed it to spike, even though he was probably already tripping his balls off.
"Good work spike, thanks for being a bro and not a total simp."
"No prob bro, just following the bro code, bro."
"Just keeping it real, ya know."
Spike replied already dividing his coke with a rubber tire.
"Bruh that just rymed."
He finished his straight fire.
"Ayo!, Bro, that kinda went hard as hell."
The bitch eater stated
"ENOUGH!, IM TIRED OF YOUR INSOLENCE ANONYMOUS!"
Rarity was beginning to raise her arms and float in the air.
"Hey Anon!?, What's that?, what's she doing Anon?!"
Spike the anti-sadist said,
"What?, You don't see it too, Brother "
Enough time had passed for a truly crucial momento maria to happen, rarity had fully raised her arms and they were currently perpendicular to her upstanding bitchly body.
And she had started faintly glowing, giving her a radiance brighter then celestia's ass or herself.
"Anon, As Bearer Of The Element Of Generosity And Recognizer Of Your Crimes Against The Universe Of Fashion, I Am Going To Generously Give You 10 FUCKING Seconds To Take Off Your Socks, NO HOMO, Before I Stick My Next New Ensemble Up Your Ass."
"Isn't it beautiful spike, she's beginning to believe."
That One Lucky Bastard Said.
"10..."
She began,
"Uh, Anon, you should probably be worried right about now."
"I wouldn't be , it's good to know that these past 10 minutes have all led up to this."
"9..."
"What do you mean, that bitch is going to kill you if you don't correct your mistakes."
"8..."
She was gaining more power by the second.
"Its okay, this is fine, this is what needs to happen."
"I love you spike, you'll always be my true bro."
7...6...
"Gimme a break, Anon?, your not just gonna stand there, are you?"
"What are you doing!, you can't stay here!, u need to run!"
"5...4..."
She was as bright as the sun now.
"Its alright, It'll be okay, at least I know I've done my job for the day."
"Okay, Thank you Anon for your service as one of the most respectable people to trust to a job of this caliber."
"It was truly a pleasure to be of service to the forces of S.U.S., I wish good luck too you spike in all that you fulfill"
The Stupid Bitch Finished,
"3...2...1..."
He had started running at one, but she had already started moving towards him with terminal velocity through her self-levitating T Power TM Stance.
https://youtu.be/9AKEPioEatg
Presumable ending,
Anon was probably in the hospital getting Lord knows how many outfits designed in the Stress couture fashion line removed from his anal cavity as promised.
Spike was probably off somewhere getting his dick smashed by rarity or something.
And the Bitches we're still probably breaking it down after the whole of the events had just transpired, and Anon probably still thought it was worth it.
At least rarity wasn't that based anymore...
It had been a few weeks since Anon's Anal Cavity Cotioure stuffing. He sat in a cast waist down, to keep him from irritating his anus. And he was just itching to get out, if not to fuck with his friends, then to fuck his friends.
(Literally And Figuratively)
But not in the Physical Sense, (As If That Makes Sense!)
It does to him...
He sat there in the Pony Hospital for a little while until he got bored and decided it was time to break out. So as he tried to get out of bed to stand on his feet, he noticed a slight issue. He can't fucking walk without his legs, but then he eyed his pair of sandals in the corner of the room.
However did he not see them before,
"Bingo."
followed along with a pair of double finger snaps.
Now slowly getting up on his hands, and trying to walk over, only to fall flat on his back (its hard to balance like that). Wincing in pain from the floors invasion to his Ass fat. Nearly Clapping...
Anyway, he landed pretty much there, like somewhere near the corner. And he put on his sandals, but on his hands since they couldn't fit over the cast. As they were put on, he could clearly feel his power levels returning back to normal status. It felt good to be back, or something like that.
"ahh yeahh, thats what im talkin' about, naw u knaw whut i'm sayin', fureel fureel."
he said to his pet cactus on the windowsill.
The cactus replied in kind,
"yeeah man, i nah whut u sayin' B. U Literally Bout'ta head out right now, fureel fureel."
Anon then grabbed the pot, and committed defenestration to him,
"serves him right, he didn't really get it."
So as his cactus fell on someones head causing a bloodcurdling scream to be heard outside, he prepared to exit the vicinity in (what to him was) the most orderly fashion.
So, AFTER, screaming at the wall for half an hour until the building came down through sheer will, he walked out of the rubble a free man. Free from the Dubious Confines of Imprisonment, Free from Terrible Vegetarian Hospital Food, and Free of Cast.
Also Free of Clothes,
(They came off [at some point] during his contest of masculinity with that shit wall of shit bricks)
But that didn't matter, he stood stark naked among(u)st the pile of remains and probably a few pony corpes's. He was in his element, being a fucking bastard, or probably the opposite (if we can figure out what that is?). And he was ready to take on the challenge that was his Bitch Ass friends, With or without the fucking involved. (Not) Speaking of a certain privileged, white, gold digging bitch (Literally, I mean gems, close enough), she had only recently earned his camaraderie, but she could still Very easily lose it. He would find out soon enough
He was literally walking, making his way as he passed through, no one seemed to notice him today.
"Looks like everyPony really cares about Cactus Bitch."
(Rest In Pepperoni's)
Not in The Sauce that would be weird.
Anon approached the Disgusting Looking Stupid Ass Carnival Attraction of a Sweatshop, and prepared for the best (and/or worst) to come. Knocking on the new door, he put his differences aside just so she could see him with a smile on his face. So he began...
*Knock*
*Knock*
*knock*
On the other side...
"Cominggg!, sorry, im a bit caught up at the moment, i'll be right there."
Rarity had been in the middle of designing some new Skimpy Outfit [Horse Lingerie] for high society, before she was given the option to appreciate some other form of dastardly distraction.
"Wait, Why wouldn't they just open the door, I'm open 24/7."
She slowed down to approach the door with caution.
There was an ominousness in the air, that was quite unexplainable. It had not felt like this for a while now. So the Un-Reverse Bitch Rarity Grabbed the knob, and turned it couter-clockwise.
Opening The Door, with a Frustratingly Annoying lack of a bell,
"Hello There, Dearest Bitchit–"
She slammed the door on his face so hard, that she wouldn't be surprised if he ended up looking like a Flat-Stanley sorta DeadAss. Despite how surprised she was to see Anon Back after the last turn of events.
She opened the door again,
"Bitch Please, atleast give me a chance to explain my gracious presence."
"What the fucking hell In Tarterus could you possible have to explain to me this time?!"
"I don't Want you here!"
She then began to shut the door but it got caught of something, she looked down and Low-N-Behold 👌he had his Trademark Socks and Sandals.
(when did he put those back on?)
"I've come to apologize for my actions in the past, so Whaatta Ya Say Pal, To New Beginnings?"
He held out his hand...
She smakked it away,
"I Refuse!, Your A Bitch Anon, U Take Up My Time With Your Needless Shenanigans, And Then You Come To Make Amends Only To Screw Around With Me And My Friends!"
He stood there Blank of expression,
"I was Hoping we could continue being friends, but it looks like that won't be the case."
He then wore a look of absolute disgust,
"Looks like we're gonna have to do it the hard way,Again"
He then walked past her into her own shop and home, and smakks her in the face with his â„¢Flaccid PP.
To show dominance of course, why else?
"Wait a Celestia Damn Minute, when did you get naked?"
Apparently she hadn't known that he was naked since before walking up to her door, even though it was quite obvious.
"I've Been..."
Was all that was said.
He then proceeded to look at all the bitches shit.
If not to steal stuff, then to make it as unappealing as possible.
"This is exactly why I'm naked, this is... Fucking Horrendous!."
"I can't even stand to look at your onsomble, it quite frankly makes me want to barf on your fainting couch, and suck it out of the cushions."
He then started taking clothes off of the ponnequins and throwing them on the floor,
"God!, Uhhg!, This place is disgusting!, you should really do at Atleast SOME~ Cleaning."
This was absolutely 'UNACCEPTABLE',
ANON!, That's some bitch ass SHIT and you know it.
"YEAH?, AND SO WHAT IF IT IS?!"
"YOU DESERVE IT, CUZ YOU'RE A PRICK!"
He replied well pointing his finger on the verge of crying.
Then he took a glance behind RarBitchy, and noticed that Sweetie Bitch was also here.
[Still Breaking It Downâ„¢]
Rarity noticed this,
"Hey!, eyes off my dear Sweetie, ass hat."
But was completely disregarded, as Anon made his way over to her sister anyway, Picking up Sweetie by the skull and punting her out window like a football. It was all so she could break it down for the world, she had been going so long and so hard, her level of breaking it down was so immense in it's power, that it would undoubtedly be noticed by all the most important ponies of high society.
Rarity clearly did not get this message, as she then went Super Saiyan Kaioken.
"Anon!, What The FUCK!"
She then vanished and appeared in front of him and began pummeling him in the gut. Followed up with a roundhouse kick throwing him up into the air. Now following through on her Sick Combo, She flew into the air after him and conjured a literal fucking sledgehammer, smashing him down back to the ground with it.
We're gonna ignore the hole she put in her roof.
Anon looked spent, fully. Bruised, battered, and broken was he. But change a 'was he' to 'as if' he could be broken. He took damage from her, but in kind. He stood up from his laying in a crater position, and his hand flashed not once, but twice.
He had used his ultimate move,
A Double-Decker,Fickle-Fucker, Double-Edged, Fully-Fledged, Double Boop On Her Mother Fucking Shit Sucking Snoot.
And she was out Cold, But so was he.
Laying in the broken remains of a disgusting looking stupid ass carnival attraction of a sweatshop, and they both remained there sitting in the crater left behind by a couple of (Honestly Dead Ass Fucker Prick Bitch's That Need To Chill Out Once In A While.) friends that just need a little time to themselves or together to fix their friendship problems...
Author's Note
"I only realized I should write something for this after 4/20 already happened. But hey, at least I got some progression with my goats.
Anyways, as always,
Sincerely,
-Ya Boi Satan
