Applebloom’s Cutie Mark
A cute little one-shot that's not meant to be taken seriously. Comments would be well-appreciated!
“Applejack!”
A loud voice echoed across the huge apple farm, and it belonged to Applebloom. It was a bit late for her to arrive back home, since school had ended a few hours ago. But Applebloom had things to do when she got dismissed, and she was about to tell Applejack about them.
It was a sunny Spring day at Sweet Apple Acres, perfect for doing farm work. Yet, fast asleep, in the middle of the farm, Applejack was sprawled across the ground, snoring loudly.
“Applejack!”
This time, Applebloom's voice was noticeably much more urgent and annoyed, but even this couldn’t stop the happy and proud tone of voice she was using. A loud clop, clopping noise of hooves and then a scrape of hooves was heard.
"Applejack, you're asleep!? How could you be asleep in a time like this? Come one, come one, come on, Applejack! You're McLazyPants of Lazyville and so's your dad!" Shaking Applejack asleep, Applebloom looked more annoyed than when Applejack passed the pear stand at the Ponyville Marketplace.
Applejack's eyes darted open, awake from all of Applebloom's shaking. And, as she looked around, she adjusted her trademark Applejack Stetson hat, which had fell and had covered her eyes. She slowly lifted herself off the ground with her hooves. Noticing she was in the orchard next to a tree, she assumed she must have fell asleep while doing her daily chores, which were more than enough to get a pony tired.
She looked up to see Applebloom, right in front of her, kneeling down, and strangely wearing a saddle that covered her flank. Not to mention, it was new. Applebloom hated clothes and hated new stuff even more. "They're too perfect," Applebloom had said before. Yet, here she was, wearing a brand new saddle that must have cost a fortune - an original Rarity design, Applejack guessed, which had become very popular over the years. Underneath the saddle, Applebloom was wearing pink tights. Applejack's stomach lurched.
What Applebloom was wearing disgusted Applejack. Don't get me wrong, she was fine with Applebloom wearing it, it was just that she would never be caught dead wearing something as frilly, girly, and strange as that. It looked like Rarity had dropped all of her feathers on it, dyed it a bajillion different colors, and made it into a saddle. Heck, it didn't even look like a saddle. It just looked like a really short dress that had a million different jewels, feathers, and beads glopped on and glued with superglue. But, whatever. If Applebloom liked it, she was fine with it. After all, who was she to take charge of her sister? Applejack knew that she had worn some crazy things in the Neighties, when she was a filly.
Applejack could tell she was excited from the hyper grin only Pinkie Pie could match plastered onto her face. However, she was also scared a bit. Good intentions from Applebloom almost always turned into either big trouble or big explosions. Neither were something that Applejack looked forward to.
Not only that, but she had this crazy look in her eyes like Twilight had when she had stayed all night studying. All Applejack could think was, uh-oh. Did she try some new crazy way to find her Cutie Mark? Oh, I bet she did. Please, oh please, don't tell me the town exploded... actually, that's the least of my worries. The Crusaders blow up town every week or so, and Mayor Mare is pretty used to it, so of course she's invented tons of fancy shmancy ways to fix it and reverse the effects of all their shenanegans... Just please, don't tell me they got into some kind of much bigger trouble like when she completely destroyed the farm and we had to replant every single tree... seriously though, one day they're going to blow up Equestria and bring the apocalypse...
“Applejack! Applejack! Applejack! You're awake! Oh, yes! I've been waiting for you to wake up for so long! You are so lazy, Applejack!”
Applejack put her hooves in her ears to show Applebloom was being mind numbingly loud, as usual, and with a sharp look for that 'lazy' remark, she said, "Applebloom, ya'll are bein' louder than Pinkie on a sugar rush."
“Oh, sorry, Applejack!” Applebloom said eagerly. “Butyaseethisisveryimportant.Yaseeimtalkinboutsumthineveryfoal dreamsboutalltheirlivesandevenbetteri’vegotun!”
"Slow down, sugarcube! Now ya'll are being about as fast as Pinkie on a sugar rush! Just continue after ya'll are less excited, please."
Applebloom took a few deep breaths, and then began talking slowly.
"Okay. Ya see, this is very important. Ah'm talkin' 'bout sumthing every foal dreams 'bout all their lives. And even better, Ah've got one! Me!"
Applejack thought about it for a second. What could it possibly be? What would a foal desire so much they'd dream about it all their lives? Ah! Of course! She knew the answer. It was as clear as day. How could she have missed it before?
“Ice cream?”
Applebloom rolled her eyes. “Applejack, ice cream is… well, to say the truth, I’d love ice cream right now! But still, I’ve got something bigger. And it ain't ice cream. Think big. Think something really, really important that every foal tries really, really hard to get!”
“Uhhh… a coltfriend?" Applejack scratched her head. "Applebloom, stop with th' games. Ya'll know I don't like when ponies do that. Please, 'Bloom, just cut t' the chase.”
“Applejack!” Applebloom said with a embarrassment. “Colts are icky!”
Applejack rolled her eyes. Applebloom was still in the 'colts have cooties' stage.
"Um... what about that fancy shmancy new saddle yer wearin'? By the way, that better have came out of YER pocket, Missy. I don't want to find out you've been takin' mah hard-earned bits!"
"Well, actually, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle bought this to congratulate me! Ain't it neat? Anyways, what I've been hopin' you'd guess is that I've got my Cutie Mark, Applejack!"
Applejack faced Applebloom, mouth open wide. Suddenly, a bright smile spread across Applejack's face and she wrapped Applebloom in a tight hug.
"Can't... breathe..."
Applejack finally let Applebloom go with an, “all right, Applebloom! Yer a late bloomer, but ya’ll finally have done it! So, what is it? What's yer Cutie Mark? Ah bet it's super special!”
“It is!” Applebloom said, followed with a, "and see for yourself!" She then started pulling the saddle off with her teeth, and, with a bit of effort - well, you try to pull a saddle off with your teeth only! - she pulled it off, revealing her Cutie Mark.
It was super special, Applejack had to admit, and by that she meant it didn't really look like anything. It was very abstract, to put it in a nice way. If you didn't want to put it in a nice way, you'd say it was chaotic and looked like a foal in Magic Kindergarden had drew it. There were squiggles and lines and circles and all kinds of shapes of all kinds of different colors.
Applejack didn’t say anything. She just looked at it for a second, tilted her head, and said, “…err, Applebloom, sweetie?”
“Yes?!” Applebloom said excitedly. “Isn’t it the awesomest Cutie Mark ya’ll have ever seen?”
“I don’t mean to disappoint ya’ll, ‘Bloom, but, errr… what is that thing?”
“I don’t know!” Applebloom answered. This received a raised eyebrow from her sister. “But it looks real great, don’t it?!”
“Er, I guess so, but what’s the meanin’ of a Cutie Mark if ya don’t know what it is? I mean, ain’t a Cutie Mark supposed to tell you what y’all’s special talent is?”
“Well, duh!” Applebloom answered. “I know what mah Special Talent is. I just have no idea what the CUTIE MARK is! Ah think it's sum kind of abstract Cutie Mark or sum'thing.”
“All right, then what is it? Yer special talent. What in the hay does that thing mean?”
“Chaos!” Applebloom said eagerly.
"Chaos?" Applejack repeated, even more puzzled than before. "Yer tellin' me that yer special talent is CHAOS!?"
"Yep! Chaos! Ain't it great?" Applebloom started. "Ah always knew that me n' the Crusaders were extremely chaotic, but I'd never considered it was mah Special Talent!"
"Well," Applejack started, trying to make the best out of the situation that clearly was not going so well, "how'd ya get it? Yer Cutie Mark, ah mean."
"Hmmm!" Applebloom said slowly, thinking about the events that had occurred. "Well, first, me an' the Crusaders were at Hay n' Oats, ya know, that store that everypony's yappin' 'bout?"
Applejack nodded, showing that yes, she did know about Hay and Oats. "What were ya'll doin' at Hay n' Oats? But, whatever, Ah'll deal with that later. Right now, Ah'm dealing with how in tarnation ya'll have a Cutie Mark fer chaos!"
"Well, ya see, me an' the Crusaders were arguin' and talkin' like usual, an' then suddenly all this freaky stuff started happening!"
"Like what?" Applejack was getting more interested - and mad - by the second.
* * *
"Ah'm right!" Applebloom called out.
"No, I am, loser!" Scootaloo said.
"No! You're both wrong!" Sweetie Belle said, "I'm right!"
"Nah, Ah'm right." Applebloom said, pounding her hoof on the table. "Look at me! Ah'm fightin' with a CHICKEN and a DICTIONARY!"
Applebloom shook her head in embarrassment and face-hoofed. "Since when have ah sunk so low? Eh, whatever! Hey, guys! Wanna try to be Cutie Mark Crusaders Bomb De-fusers?"
Suddenly, the waiter, who was coming to their booth, stopped mid-trot. His eyes widened and tears formed in his eyes. Suddenly, he dropped onto his knees and cried, "please! Please, show us mercy! You've already destroyed the town more than once!"
"Ah don't know what you're talking about," Applebloom said.
"I do," Sweetie Belle admitted. "Rarity's always going on about how all of our Crusader stuff always ends up in either destroying the town or destroying something that she holds dear. But she says it's mostly just stuff she holds dear."
"Oh, yeah," Scootaloo admitted. "I guess that's true. Rainbow Dash is always talking about that, too, like, 'Scootaloo! You've ruined my life!' and, 'Scootaloo! You've just crushed my hopes, dreams, and everything I've wanted in life, and, 'Scootaloo! Stop eating all the chocolate!'"
All eyes turned to Scootaloo, who just shrugged.
"What? I like chocolate. So does Dash. I'm quicker than her when I'm not flying. Connect the dots!" Scootaloo said, who was not amused.
"Ah like chocolate!" Applebloom said. "Ah also love chocolate rain! And cotton candy...."
"So you brought that here?" Sweetie Belle asked, confused, and pointed her hoof to the cotton candy cloud directly above Applebloom. It started raining right on cue, but the liquid was brown.
"Nope! But that's super epicly cool!" Applebloom yelled. "Cotton candy clouds that rain chocolate milk! Wait a minute, didn't Discord make those?"
All of a sudden, Screwball appeared out of nowhwere, just like Pinkie Pie often does.
"Daddy Discord is temporarily unavailable," Screwball said, the swirls in her eyes slowly turning and changing. Her mane and tail were moving without wind like Celestia's and Luna's, and seemed to be changing color like her eyes but was mostly purple and white. "I see that you have a cutie mark of chaos. How interesting!"
"Wha?" Applebloom said, confused. "I don't have a Cutie Mark! I don't! Ah'm a blank flank, and have been all mah life! Why are ya'll accusing me of havin' a Cutie Mark? We both know it ain't true!"
"Applebloom," Scootaloo said slowly, "You might want to check your flank."
And there it was! Her very own CHAOS Cutie Mark! Tears of joy welled up in her eyes. This was what she was meant to be! How could she have not known? She must have realized it before, but she was too caught up in Crusading!
"Congratulations!" Screwball said. "you are now my apprentice in chaos! And you're my long-lost sister, too! Hooray, chaos away!"
Yay! And then, Screwball and Applebloom became best friends forever and lived their lives as old ponies. They then released Discord and rode on Humans, those weird two-legged monsters Lyra is always talking about. They totally DUMPED Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle from their Facebook pages and then ate pie together, Screwball style!
And they went up to Pinkie, who obviously threw a celebration party for Applebloom's Cutie Mark and her discovering that Screwball was actually her long-lost sister and Discord her father. But then, Pinkie just took a look at Applebloom's Cutie Mark, shook her head, and mumbled something about her Cutie Mark being supposed to be architecture, but she supposed this made more sense since Applebloom ruined everypony's hopes, dreams, and everything they ever cared about. But she said this was probably one of those 'stupid one-shot fimfics' and walked away.
Then they flew away off into the sunset, a trail of chaos being left behind them. The end!
* * *
"Wait a minute!" Applejack said. "This story don't make sense. What's a Facebook page? Is that one of those freaky techn-naw-lo-gee things that Twalight's always talkin' 'bout? What's a one-shot fimfic? And what in the hay did Pinkie mean about yer Cutie Mark bein' architecture? And besides, how'd ya fly away into the sunset and live yer lives as old ponies? Ya'll came back about ten minutes ago, and it ain' even close to sunset! That ain't possible. And yer certainly not an old pony. Yer not even close ta mah age, and ah'm pretty young. In fact, ya'll look exactly the same as you did this mornin,' when I sent ya'll off to school."
"Oh, easy!" Applebloom said with a wave of her hoof. "The Doctor gave us a ride in his magic box. But a Facebook is one of those things that those Hew-mahns invented. It's pretty cool! And fimfics are My Little Pony stories that the Hew-mans also invented! But then the Hew-mans declared themselves as the best species, and took over the world."
"And what about that 'Discord's yer dad and Screwball's yer sister thing?'" Applejack asked. "Ah was there when ya'll were born, and Dad was there. And Ah assure ya, yer dad ain't Discord."
"Oh, Applejack!" Applebloom said, laughing madly. "There are so many things you don't know!"
Applebloom then ruffled Applejack's mane like she was the little, silly foal here that was talking nonsense.
"I need to see a phsycia-thingy..." With that, Applejack sighed heavily and slowly trotted to the barn.
"Alright!" Applebloom called out. "Have fun!"
