Bi, Bi, Bi My Darling

“You seriously think you’re a bigger bisexual than me?” Sunset Shimmer said in an annoyed tone.

The words hung in the air echoing the statement declared just prior. Sunset sat at a wood grain table and nursed a steaming cup of a foamy beverage that smelt of coffee and cream. Meanwhile, the woman across the table from Sunset, her cup smelling of coffee and dark chocolate, smirked at her with a grin so smug even Sunset was a little impressed.

Sour Sweet replied, “Hey, word on the street is you know how to please the ladies but haven’t been paying too much attention to the boys. Like, you might as well start a carpet cleaning service.”

Sour Sweet wore her two-toned pink rose and flamingo hair, with a mint stripe was tied into a ponytail with a cherry hairpin. Her horizontal striped burgundy and rouge long-sleeved shirt hung loosely off her left shoulder. Set above light-cherry red freckles, her plum eyes focused on Sunset while occasionally glancing down at the drink in her hand before she took a sip.

To Sunset’s right sat a cerulean with a sea-green-tinge-haired woman with ashen skin. She coughed into her partially drunk frappé. This was followed by laughter that was a mix between pure glee and maniacal, her chest heaving under a black leather jacket and shirt the gradient of forest green leading into a neon green.

Sour Sweet flashed her teeth with her smile and motioned to the laughing woman, “See! Chrysi knows what I’m talking about.”

“That’s not fair!” Sunset insisted irately. “There’s my husband,” she said, counting a ‘one’ on her right hand. “Flash Sentry,” she added, counting a two, “then… um…” A bunch of guys who might get mad if I just offer up their names to this argument, she thought.

Her fiery locks of red and yellow hair cascaded down her back. Sunset had cured her nudity that morning by donning a black tank top, red leather jacket, and black choker. Notably, she also had applied dark eyeshadow. Eyeshadow that highlighted smoldering turquoise eyes over a tight frown that was fighting a smile given Sour Sweet’s quality burn down. Or, at least, that’s how Sunset saw it.

“HA!” Exclaimed Sour Sweet. “Now me, I’ve also fucked your husband.”

“I’m aware,” Sunset said as she glowered through the steam at Sour Sweet. “I was there for the husband fucking. You know… having sex with him and you.”

“Not that I’m usually one to judge,” Chrysi began, “But your type does fall a bit more on the curvy end,” she pointed out to Sunset. “I’m assuming Sour Sweet sucks down more wieners than a line at a hot-dog stand,” she added, throwing her own smirk into the ring.

“Ha haaaaa…” Sour Sweet replied sarcastically. “Why thank you, you heartless bitch,” she replied sweetly.

Sunset’s hard expression softened into a smile. “Okay, so you’ve fucked all your female friends?”

Sour Sweet’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t see how that’s relevant. Why? Do you fuck all your girlfriends?” she said, regretting the sentence the second it left her lips.

“Yes!” Sunset declared righteously.

Chrysi said nothing and instead sipped from her straw, a knowing smile on her face.

“Do you all mind?!” a woman, her skin the color of gray clouds, long hair, the color of butter, and amber eyes, the placement of ‘place first, measure never, good enough!’ “Some of us are trying to have breakfast here!” she said. Motioning to open space, a Muffin and cup of something hot was set to the left of her hand.

She wore a tan short-sleeved shirt that was open in the front exposing a white tube top that clung to her chest tightly. This was accompanied by a baby blue skirt with a bow on the back. She irritably kicked at the floor with yellow boots that were laced in the front.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Sour Sweet began. “It’d be a shame if our interesting conversation caused you to choke on your food!” she hissed, emphasizing the end of the sentence.

“Wowie! Who peed in your cheerios this morning?”

Sour Sweet glared daggers then sighed, her expression softening. “Sorry! I’m just, you know, trying to have a conversation here!”

Sunset gave the woman a warm smile. “Sorry, D.H. We kind of forgot where we’re at.”

“It’s called a Café!” Sour Sweet informed. “It’s where you go to drink coffee, mingle with friends, and have private conversations.”

D.H.s shoulders dropped, as did her eyelids, “Alright, b-word, maybe you can have your private conversation at a private volume?!”

“Have you considered tearing the muffin in half and sticking both sides in your ears?”

“Sour Sweet,” Sunset began, “you know you’re going to ruin your chances if you start driving away all your potential partners.”

“Excuse you!” Sour Sweet exclaimed. “But I have standards!”

“Oh?” D.H. replied. “Word in the café is that you’re a dick-sucking slut!”

“I said PRIVATE!” Sour Sweet hissed out through clenched teeth.

A sky blue-skinned man with a burnt-orange mustache, short hair, and a brown apron over green clothes stormed up to the two tables. As he opened his mouth to speak, Chrysi produced a large, black leather wallet out of her black leather coat. “Hello!” she greeted as she unzipped her wallet, reached in, and produced several bills. “I am interested in buying this café!” she declared. “If it’s not for sale, then I’d like to buy everyone here another drink or confectionary and offer a large tip if you go away.”

The man eyed the bills for a second. Snatched them and practically skipped back to the counter saying. “Free drinks and breakfast for everyone here!” he shouted.

.Chrysi mumbled ,"مطعمي أجمل بكثير على أية حال"

A series of cheers went up amongst the café occupants.

“Alright,” Chrysi said to the women at the table and D.H. “You can all drop your practiced innocent looks and continue my morning’s entertainment.”

Doing the thing Chrysi said, Sunset spoke, “Sour Sweet, I don’t have a great idea of who you’ve slept with but maybe we can figure this out together.”

Sour Sweet gave Sunset a befuddled look and pointed to D.H. “Me making up with screw-ball eyes here or me making out with screw-ball eyes here?”

“Do people mention your fucking craptastic attitude?” D.H. asked. “Or am I the first to highlight your craptastitude?”

“No, I meant… Who’s the biggest slu- I mean bisexual!” Sunset said. Her eyes widened suddenly and she held up her hands for the two women to be silent while Chrysi chuckled and the two women shot each other dirty looks. “I have an idea!” Sunset declared.

“Ah, yes…” Chrysi purred. “A phrase that means my day will be far more interesting than normal.”

Sunset continued, “Starting now, you and I are having a bisexual off.”

Sour Sweet smiled wickedly. “Okay… what are your terms?”

Sunset thought for a moment. “Whoever fucks the most men and women wins!”

While already awash in attention in the café, the amount of attention focused on the area where the woman sat suddenly increased exponentially.

Sour Sweet simmered the idea for a few seconds. “What, like… in even numbers?”

“Well, obviously,” Chrysi said. “Or, something to that extent. Otherwise, you two would simply be having a slut off.”

D.H. attempted to stifle her laughter that came out in a giggling snort as Sour Sweet side-eyed everyone in the conversation.

Sour Sweet twerked her lips to one side. “Okay, what are we betting?”

“The honor of our labias!” Sunset declared.

Chrysi rubbed her hands together and motioned for the women at her table to lean in closer. All three leaned in close enough that their breasts pressed up against the woodgrain table and their noses several centimeters from each other, as D.H. scowled at them and went back to her breakfast. “This game has piqued my interest, so I’m willing to fund your sexcapades provided I have photo or video evidence of each encounter.”

“That would make us whores,” Sunset said dryly.

“Hold on, Princess Moneybags!” Sour Sweet said, holding up a hand. She turned to Chrysi “How much per John and Jane?”

Sunset winced.

“Will a smaller or greater amount help ease the conscience of Princess Moneybags?” Chrysi hissed.

“Uh, whores get paid by the person they’re having sex with,” D.H. pointed out. “If anything you two would be closer to porn stars with a sponsor.”

Everyone turned towards D.H. Chrysi glared, Sunset had a look of surprise, while Sour Sweet’s face read ‘kindly find a cliff and jump off it.’

D.H. pointed at her ear. “I have excellent hearing.” She winked in the direction of a table of confused patrons.

“Okay…” Sunset said. “I can work with that.”

“Okay,” Sour Sweet began, “but uh… how much are we talking here.”

Chrysi leaned in further, her large black belt and short black skirt appearing over the top of the table as her holy tights were exposed. She whispered a figure into Sour Sweet’s ear.

“I’m in!” Sour Sweet exclaimed as she raised a hand.

“Eeeeexceleeent…” Sunset purred as she produced her phone from a jacket pocket and began texting.

Sour Sweet locked eyes with D.H. Or rather, did her best to lock her eyes with one or the other of D.H.s. “Wanna hate fuck?”

D.H. swallowed. Catching a quick eyebrow waggle from Sunset, she answered, “Fine, you hateful cunt. I’ll have second breakfast out of that thing I just said.”

“Sweet~~!” Sour Sweet sang. She stood up and grabbed D.H. by the arm. “I call women’s restroom.”

“Okay!” Sunset said with a wave as she continued to type on her phone.

Chrysi squinted and tilted her head at Sunset. “What the heck are you doing?” She glanced around the Café. “You have a cavalcade of potential men and women who are draping you in bedroom eyes.”

“Oh, you know…” Sunset said. “Reaping the benefits of friends… with benefits.”

“Do you MIND?!” Sour Sweet’s voice erupted from behind the closed women’s restroom door. “I need those otherwise my fucking vag is going to be cold all day!”

“Would you stop your bitching and stop acting like the floor is lava!” D.H. replied from the same side of the door as Sour Sweet. She pulled off Sour Sweet’s burgundy skirt and tossed it on the far side of the toilet, missing the bowl this time. She had lucked out and managed to land Sour Sweet’s wine-red panties in the toilet.

Sour Sweet was now naked from her waist down to her thigh-high purple tights with hot pink straps and D.H. was now face-to-face with a pink pussy surrounded by lemony folds. Much to Sour Sweet’s surprise, D.H. leaned her face in close and began lapping at her vag, running her tongue up from the bottom, teasing the opening by folding her tongue and poking at the hole, before running it over Sour Sweet’s clit.

Sour Sweet began lightly moaning as D.H. licked up then all the way back down, then up again. Light moans turned into heavy moans as D.H. thrust a couple of fingers into her sex and began thrusting them in and out as she lapped at her clit. “Harder, bathroom slut!” D.H. demanded.

“Well, then turn around, bathroom whore!”

Sour Sweet grimaced with a small smile on her face and complied. D.H. was now facing two plump-round cheeks dotted with light-cherry red freckles. She attempted to get to her feet, which she managed, though not after awkwardly stumbling a bit and knocking Sour Sweet forward so she was now leaning over the toilet. Her hands gripping the seat as she stared into the waters to see her cherry-red panties at the bottom of the pot. “Christ, you’re a bitch!” Sour Sweet declared.

“Haha…” D.H. uttered as she used Sour Sweet's plump ass-cheeks to get steady again. “I know!” Leaning forward, D.H. inserted a couple fingers back into Sour Sweet’s pussy, then reached forward and snatched one of the woman’s arms.

Sour Sweet almost fell face-first into the, mercifully clean, waters below as she steadied herself with her left hand. “Whoa! What the fu—“ she moaned in pleasure rather than finish the sentence as D.H. continued to thrust two fingers in and out of her pussy while simultaneously bumping her hips against Sour Sweet's ass.

“Alright, if you want your panties back, you’re going to have to bob for them and grab them with your teeth!”

Sour Sweet’s brow tightened. “They’re at the bottom of the toilet! What? Do you have a snorkel up your vag-hatch?!”

“Like you would know!” D.H. exclaimed.

“Look… gunt… ah… I’ll get you off after this.”

“Damn right, you will!” D.H. said. “I’ve been doing all the work while you lose clothes in the fucking toilet!”

Sour Sweet thrust hard against D.H.’s hand, perhaps in anger, but the result was the fingers went even deeper than before and she felt her vision blur as the fingers brushed up against more sensitive areas inside. “Huh… huh… of God… Finger me harder!”

“Shake your freckled ass and maybe I’ll let you cum!”

Sour Sweet turned and glared. “Do you have to be a royal cooze? I’m close to cumming!” she cried.

“Yeah, well earn your slutty, whore café bathroom orgasm… uh… slut!”

“Maybe I’ll shake my ass if you get my panties for me!”

“Sure glad I can see secret messages in your ass-freckles!” D.H. replied. “Did you know when Mercury is in retrograde, you’re actually halfway worth talking to?”

“Did you know your parents never loved you and secretly hoped you would wander into traffic?”

“Hey! These freckles say you have a secret job as a knob polisher!”

“Listen, you Canterlot High hussy! My sex life… damnit!” Sour Sweet hissed out as she lowered her voice. “Your kind of right at this point… Whoa.”

Much to Sour Sweet’s surprise, she was allowed to stand back up. Immediately, she was turned around and sat back down on the toilet seat. D.H. was once again on her knees, this time spreading Sour Sweet’s and leaning her face closer to her two-toned bush and vag. “Try not to mess up your soaked toilet panties while I give you some lady head, okay?”

“Alright, bitch-slut!” Sour Sweet replied. “Get lick-ah!” D.H. was already going to town on her clit with one hand diving deep into the recesses of her cunt. D.H. sneaked her hand up Sour Sweet's shirt and began fondling her right breast through the fabric of her bra. “Cum for me, you bathroom slut! Cum!”

Rather than retort, Sour Sweet elected to lean her vag forward so D.H. had an easier time of licking her clit and pumping her fingers in and out of the woman’s sex. She could feel warmth and waves of pleasure build up bit by bit and then wave by wave until everything crescendoed into a tsunami of pleasure that rocked her body. A semi-opaque discharge squirted from her opening onto the face of D.H. who gleefully licked Sour Sweet’s fleshy bulb, rubbed her breast with her right hand, and thrust in and out of Sour Sweet’s vagina cavity with her left hand.

D.H. slowed down after a minute or two.

Sour Sweet huffed and puffed. Her deep breathing caused her breasts to heave under her striped shirt.

D.H. picked a wall next to the toilet and leaned her back against it as she sat down. “My turn!” she said, reaching her hands under her skirt and lifting her knees and butt slightly so she could take her canary yellow panties off.

“Hey, I should be doing that!” Sour Sweet declared.

“No way—AH!” Struggling to get her panties off in a sitting position, D.H. fell on her side. She quickly worked to remove the article of clothing. “You’ll just throw it in the toilet.”

“Well… wouldn’t you?”

“I’ve almost got them off! Just get down here with me!”

“Uh… Are you sure you don’t want to sit down?” Sour Sweet asked as she stood up and motioned to the now vacant toilet seat. A little liquid dripped down from the side of her thighs and hit the hot pink strap of her tights.

“I’m not going to use the same toilet seat as you!” D.H. declared as she triumphantly got her panties off her yellow boots and into a hand. “I might get hepatitis! Now stop acting like the floor is lava and get down here so we can scissor!” With that, D.H. threw her panties in a random direction, then let out a resounding, “Fuck!” as she heard a familiar plop of something light and made out of fabric landing in water.

Sour Sweet laughed. “Alright, spaz!” she said as she sat her naked ass on the cold, white-tiled floor across from D.H. and scooted herself forward. “Let’s do this!”

Gray legs wrapped over and around lemon legs as the two women pressed folds against each other and began rubbing and bumping. Small, soft groans turned into louder moans as the pink sexes continued to be slid up and down against one another.

“Oh, God!” D.H. said. “I never thought I’d lose my virginity in a public bathroom?!”

“Holy SHIT! What?!” Sour Sweet exclaimed.

“Kidding~~!” D.H. sang out. “Okay, gimme a bj! You owe it to me.”

Sour Sweet froze. “Uh… yeah… eat you out… that’s just… that’s just what I’ll do…”

-~O~-

Several minutes later…

“Ug… do you have clue one what you’re doing down there?!” D.H. asked. “Like… Yeah, I’m wet. You might want to stick your head in the toilet to re-hydrate, but you’re applying your tongue to me like you’re trying to paint my legs a different color.

“Shut up, alright!” Sour Sweet cried. “I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Well concentrate on my clit and stick a finger or two in me!”

Glaring and sighing, Sour Sweet raised her head from the thighs back up to D.H.’s pussy. She licked between her gray folds until she found a fleshy nub near the top of her vag. Obediently, she thrust a couple fingers into D.H.s pussy and began slowly moving them in and out.

“Faster and harder!” D.H. exclaimed.

Sour Sweet upped the pace.

“Faster and Harder!” D.H. exclaimed louder.

Sour Sweet groaned and picked up the pace of both her fingering and licking.

D.H. breathed in deep then let it out. She leaned forward and put both hands on top of Sour Sweet’s head and pushed her mouth and tongue down onto her clit harder. “Oh, I’m better at sex than you!” D.H. moaned.

Sour Sweet considered protesting, but D.H. had her face firmly pressed against the gray woman’s vagina and was roughly pleasuring herself with the lemon-colored woman’s mouth.

“Oh, I’m so much better at sex than you!” D.H. moaned.

“Oh, I’m so much better at sex than you!”

“Oh, I’m so much better at sex than you!”

“Oh, I’m so much better at sex than you!” With a final declaration and some vigorous push and pulling against Sour Sweet’s head. Her vagina walls contracted around the lemon-colored fingers and she felt even warmer and wetter below as pleasure cascaded through her body. As she climaxed, she suddenly pushed Sour Sweet’s mouth down off her clit and onto her opening where a rush of girl cummies rushed to meet the taste buds of the unexpecting woman.

D.H. rubbed her own clit to the sounds of Sour Sweet sputtering and coughing.

Sour Sweet looked up with a glare. A satisfied glare, but a glare nonetheless.

“Was it good for you?” D.H. purred.

“Go fuck yourself!” Sour Sweet declared.

“No, thanks! I’m good!” D.H. said. “You know… just kinda… did that with your face.”

Sour Sweet grumbled a few hate-filled slurs to herself and stood up. She walked over to get her squirt. “Fish our panties out of the toilet, would you?”

“No way!” D.H. said. “I got you to come waaaaaay before me! It’s your duty to retrieve our soaked underwear.”

“Sure glad you know all this etiquette about hate fucking in a public bathroom!”

“You get those panties out of that toilet one of you!” Chrysi exclaimed. “I don’t want you messing up my recently purchased bathroom.”

Sour Sweet and D.H.’s foreheads tightened as their eyelids dropped.

“Don’t tell me you actually purchased the whole café!” Sour Sweet said.

“Fine!” Chrysi replied angrily.

“She did! She did!” a cheery, peppy, unmistakably bouncy voice answered. “She totally just pulled out her checkbook and was like… Yeah, people are fucking in the bathroom! We can either do this the way where you gain money or lose knees. Your choice! And the guy picked the money and now we’re going to get Turkish coffee added to the menu! Hurray!”

“Okay, well now I don’t have to tell her,” Chrysi reasoned.

“Looks like Sunset’s friends are here…” Sour Sweet grunted in displeasure as she stuck her hands in the toilet and quickly fished out her pair of red panties and the yellow panties in one hand. She handed the soaking yellow ones to D.H. who grabbed them.

“Uh… thanks…” D.H. said as it dawned on her that she was probably going to go commando in a skirt for a little bit.

“DAMNIT!”

D.H. recoiled slightly. “What?!”

Sour Sweet sighed. “I need to record that we had sex somehow!”

“Oh, uh…” D.H. reached into skirt pocket and produced a smartphone. She quickly wrapped an arm around Sour Sweet’s shoulders. “Selfie!” she declared, taking a picture of the wall in front of her.

“Give me that!” Sour Sweet declared.

“Hey!”

“Look, I’m setting it to the right facing!”

“Okay, but ask first!”

“How do you see anything with a screen this cracked?!”

“I see just fine.”

“I think no one will be able to identify this finger after your screen fucks it up.”

“Just stop bitching and let me fix it!”

“I got it! Alright?!”

“Okay, give the camera to me!”

“No! Hold still!”

“Request denied!”

Sour Sweet snapped the picture just in time for D.H. to kiss her with lips still sporting the odd splotch and taste of her own sex. Examining the results, she could see that both women were sporting each other’s ejaculate on their faces. Not that their hair told a story of anything other than, ‘we got laid’.

It would suffice.

“Okay… lemme just…” Sour Sweet trailed off.

“Are ya done?!”

“Let me just send it to myself! You’ll even get my number! Don’t stalk me.”

“Sure, I know who to call for shitty head.”

Sour Sweet winced and gave D.H. an angry and hurt look.

“Uh… sorry… erm…” Her face blossomed into a smile. “It was really fun… I uh… actually really enjoyed pleasuring myself with your face.”

The irritable Sour Sweet grumbled out a “You’re welcome” followed by an “Erm… Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem!” D.H. said as Sour Sweet handed the phone back to her.

Okay, so Sunset probably fucked at least one person in the men’s bathroom. She thought as she placed her hand on the knob of the door, turned it, and pushed it open.

And there, she saw it…

Sunset’s hair. Covered in cum.

Sunset’s cheeks. Also covered in cum.

Sunset’s cleavage, neck, and even clothes. Just… cummed all over.

Sunset’s turquoise eyes, blazing with determination.

Sunset sat triumphantly in a chair like it was her throne. Flanked by a blue-skinned man in a black trench coat with a dark-blue scale on it and a light red-skinned man in a red button-up shirt with brown, leather shoulder pads with green apples on either side.

On top of that, most of her friends seemed to be occupying the entire café!

Sour Sweet was going to have her work cut out for her.