When A Princess Eats Cake and Drinks Tea
Written by KingSombraTheTyrantRuler
Princess Celestia had just raised the sun, and she was very hungry.
So, she went to have some breakfast. She stood in the kitchen for a while, looking around. “What should I have for breakfast?” she asked herself. “Hmm... Pancakes sound nice.”
So, she made some pancakes and ate them with whipped cream. But strangely, she was still hungry.
“That’s strange,” she said. “Why am I still hungry? I just ate!”
Her stomach complained, wanting more food, and Celestia sighed. “Looks like I’ll need more pancakes.”
So, she made some more batter, and waited for the pancakes to finish cooking.
Once all the batter had been used up, Celestia got a plate and piled them there. She got the whipped cream can and sprayed it.
Then she sat down and began eating. After drinking some of the World-Famous Sweet Apple Acres Cider to make sure that everything went down, Celestia stood up and decided that she should start the Day Court.
However, as soon as she heard the nobles start to argue like school foals, she felt hungry again. “Ugh...” she moaned, clutching her stomach. “Why am I hungry again?”
“Did you have breakfast, Your Majesty?” Raven asked.
“I had a hundred pancakes, and ten bottles of Apple Cider, but it didn’t help,” Celestia groaned.
“Maybe your stomach is tired of pancakes and Apple Cider?” Raven half asked, half stated.
“Maybe it is Raven,” Celestia replied. “But what else is there to have?”
“Follow me, Princess,” Raven said.
Casting one last glance at the nobles who were too busy arguing like school foals to notice anything, Celestia followed the mare.
“Um...Raven?” Celestia asked.
“Yes Princess?”
“Why have you taken me to the Solar Guard’s Barracks?” the Princess of The Sun asked, confused.
“You’ll see in a while, Princess.”
Just as she said that, a Solar Guard came out and bowed to Celestia. “Your Majesty?” he asked in surprise. “No offense, but what are you doing here?”
Celestia shrugged. “None taken.” She pointed at Raven and said, “Raven brought me here.”
The Guard turned to Raven and raised an eyebrow. Raven said, “Lucifer, Princess Celestia is hungry. No matter how much she eats, the hunger doesn’t go away. And I said that it might be because her stomach wants something other than pancakes and Apple Cider.”
“I see,” Lucifer said.
“Could you help? I’m really hungry,” Celestia said.
Lucifer smiled. “I know just the thing that will help you, Princess. Follow me.”
So Celestia followed Lucifer. He teleported them to Ponyville, Sugarcube Corner.
“What are we doing at Sugarcube Corner?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Pinkie Pie bakes the best treats in Equestria,” Lucifer informed the Princess. “I’m sure she’ll have something that will satisfy your hunger.”
“I hope she does.”
“Trust me Princess, once you’ve tried one of her treats, you’ll never want to stop eating them!” Lucifer exclaimed.
“...Okay.”
Just then, Pinkie Pie appears out of literally nowhere and sees Princess Celestia and the Solar Guard. She bows and says, “Princess Celestia! What a surprise! May I ask why you came here today?”
Celestia smiles. “Lucifer here told me that you bake the best treats in Equestria.”
“And you want to know if it’s true?” Pinkie asked, to which Celestia nodded. “Well then Princess, put me to the test! What would you like?”
Celestia looks around Sugarcube corner, at all the treats. “Umm...” she says. “Uh... I’m not really sure.”
Pinkie leads Celestia and Lucifer to a table where they sit. “Then I’ll surprise you!”
“Okay.”
Pinkie bounces off, and mere minutes later reappears with a cake and cup of tea in her hooves. “Try these; I’m sure you’ll love them!”
Celestia nervously smiles. “Umm,” she points to the cake. “Could you tell me what that is?”
“It’s a cake, Princess!” Pinkie says.
“...Alright,” Celestia says. She takes her regalia off and puts it aside. Pinkie cuts a slice of the cake and puts it in a bowl.
“Don’t worry Princess,” Pinkie says with a smile. “Cakes don’t bite!”
Celestia uses her spoon and tastes the slice. She also drinks some tea. Pinkie and Lucifer watch her. Celestia goes completely still.
“Princess?” Lucifer asks, worried. “Are you-”
He can’t even finish his question as Celestia cuts him off. She exclaims, “That. Was. Wonderful!”
Pinkie smiles as Celestia finishes the cake and tea. “Would you like more, Princess?”
“I’d love that, my little pony,” Celestia says, licking her lips.
Pinkie bounces away and returns with more cake and tea, which Celestia stuffs into her mouth, not using her Canterlot Manners.
She doesn’t care that all the ponies are staring at her, nor that she has cake all over her muzzle.
Pinkie disappears and returns with ten cakes and twenty cups of tea.
Celestia eats the cake as if she’d been starving for a year and drinks the tea like how a thirsty camel would.
And everypony is just standing there, jaws touching the ground in shock.
Lucifer says, “Umm...Princess?”
Celestia, whose mouth is full of cake says, “Hmmm?”
Lucifer calmly moves a piece of cake off his recently polished armor. “It isn’t healthy for anypony to have that much cake or tea.”
Celestia swallows and says, “But I’m not just anypony. I’m Princess Celestia. I’m an alicorn!”
That being said, she levitates a huge cake towards herself and stuffs her muzzle with it.
Lucifer backs away slowly, and once outside the bakery, teleports to Princess Luna’s chambers.
He knocks twice. “Who is disturbing us?” he hears the Lunar Princess ask.
“Princess Luna!” he exclaims. “It’s Lucifer. Princess Celestia is at Sugarcube Corner and she’s eating all the cake and drinking all the tea!”
Luna jumps out of bed and blasts her doors open. She says, “Get me a few cups of coffee and we’ll go and stop her.”
Lucifer bows and runs to get the coffee. Once he’s back, Luna drinks it and he has to shield his eyes as her whole body, including her mane and tail become brighter and shine with power.
Luna teleports the both of them to Sugarcube Corner, and rushes to Celestia.
“Celestia!” the Lunar Princess yells.
“What?” the Solar Princess asks. “Luna? What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same question. Aren’t you supposed to be doing Day Court now?”
“I was hungry, so Raven took me to Lucifer, who teleported me to Sugarcube Corner, and Pinkie gave me cake and tea. I feel wonderful!” She asks, “Are the nobles still fighting like school foals in the throne room?”
“Yes. They are,” Luna says with an emotionless voice. Then she yells, “Princess Celestia! I command thee to stop this right now!”
Celestia sends another cake to her stomach. “And I shalt refuse thine command, sister.”
Luna asks, “What’s so good about cake and tea?”
Celestia sighs and puts her cake down. “Luna, do you remember how less than a month ago, you kept drinking coffee? How you didn’t stop?” Luna nods. “Did I ask what was so good about coffee?”
“No.” Luna suddenly screams, “I’m getting my sleep now!”
She teleports back to her chambers and instantly falls asleep.
And Lucifer thinks, I’ll need to style my mane again. And now I’ve learnt a lesson. Never give a Princess tea or cakes.
He teleports back to the castle and goes into the Lunar Guard’s barracks. “Shadowlance?” he says softly. “Shadowlance?”
Shadowlance groans as he opens his eyes. “What?”
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for laughing at you earlier when Princess Luna went crazy with coffee.”
“Let me guess. You gave Princess Celestia tea and she’s crazy now?”
“No. I gave her tea and cake. She’s never going to stop.”
“Did you learn a lesson from this?”
“Yeah. Never give a Princess tea or cake.”
“Any other lessons?”
“Never laugh at somepony.”
“Good. Apology accepted. Now let me go back to sleep.”
“Aren’t you going to help?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
“You know Lucifer, there’s rumors that batponies drink blood like vampires. If you don’t let me go back to sleep in peace, I’ll check if it’s possible for me to drink blood like a vampire.”
Lucifer runs away, while Shadowlance chuckles to himself. “That never gets old.”
Author's Note
Here's a picture of Lucifer before helping Celestia.
And here's a pic of him after helping Celestia.
And here's Celestia:
And here's Shadowlance:
And finally, here's Luna.
I own Shadowlance and Lucifer. Fun fact: In my class, I saw the word/name Lucifer written on a wall. So I thought- that'll make a good name for an oc. And I needed a Solar Guard OC for this...
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