Friendship Is Scuffed, Multiverse of Chaos

by Stalin with Da Spoon

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Profanity, Random, Adventure, Discord, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Mario, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 17245

Ever wanted to know what would happen if martincitopants, Rimmy downunder, TheRussianBadger, SovietWomble, Rubixraptor, detective dan, SMG4, Top gear, and many others wound up in equestria all at once? Well, here you go! The ultimate adventure!

Meet martincitopants. Youtuber, memer, and frog man. He will soon embark upon a wild quest of chaos, destruction, and impending doom and tomfoolery. Now let's set the scene. Martin has just defeated his nemesis, Kevin, sending him off to an unknown world on his battered warship, far away from martin and kerbin. However, little did martin know, he had sent Kevin through a wormhole leading to equestria, and now, Kevin is planning to wage war against martin and the bean space program, but first, Kevin must build up his forces and find a way back, and to do so, he must take over the world of equestria. In kevins first plan to conquer equestria, he accidentally breaks his machine, and summons martin and some other random people, including TheRussianBadger and his friends, rimmy, digby, and the cadian XXth, rubixraptor and his group, Ignis, detective dan, jon tron, Sovietwomble and his mates, the top gear hosts, and a few other random people. As they are scattered across the world, they must work together to find out where the hell they are, and hopefully, help equestria defend against the Kevin empire as they prepare for an invasion.

Yes, this is one big shitpost, but someone had to do it.

Links to youtube channels:

matincitopants: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcnci5vbpLJ-rh_V9yXwawg

TheRussianBadger: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheRussianBadger

Rimmy Downunder: https://www.youtube.com/c/RimmyDownunderGaming

RubixRaptor: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNq9guLAKVEUqh7m3aOgleQ

SovietWomble: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQD3awTLw9i8Xzh85FKsuJA

Published 2022-04-08 00:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-06-16 02:12:27 UTC

Prologue: Kevin's Evil Plan (And ultimate screw up)

Date: UNKNOWN.
Location: Kevin's warship, in orbit of equestria.
Time: 6:00 AM.

High above the planet of equestria, laid the badly damaged ruins of the once great warship Kevin used to command his war fleet as he sent them against his nemesis, martincitopants and the bean space program. Now, only one ship remained,and it was badly damaged, missing half its crew, and a quarter of its fuel remaining. Things were looking bad right now, but Kevin had high hopes, as he stood upon the outer deck of the ship, observing the planet below him. He did not need to breath, on account of him being in-human, so he simply just stood there, arms crossed as he observed the planet.

"Hmmmmmmm... No orbital stations or satellites, lack of space debris... We may have just warped in above a primitive world. This could either be a boon, or a curse, as it depends on the resources available to use..."

Heavy thinking noises emitted from Kevin, as he stared at the planet, before deciding to head back inside the vessel, opening the door to the airlock, and sealing it behind him. As he walked through the halls of the ship, smoke filled the air as panels on the walls sparked, the halls barely illuminated by red lights lining the halls, and alarms blaring as emergency power struggled to keep the ship going.

Deck engineers and medics rushing all over the place, making frantic repairs, some patching holes in the walls, some connecting cables, as a few medics ran by with wounded personnel on stretchers and in body bags, as a light burst into sparks right above Kevin, as they rained down on him. He did not even flinch a muscle, as he kept on walking, rounding several bends and corridors, moving by his crewmen as they saluted him and he saluted back. He suddenly saw his chief engineer, Jerry, as he walked up to him.

"Jerry, I need a status report!" The dictator shouted out loud towards Jerry, who was used to his shouting.

Jerry then replied with a half grin on his face. "Good news, we have established a stable orbit around the planet, and most major systems are beginning to come online again. Bad news, were still dead in the water. The dark matter fuel reserves burst open when we entered the vortex martin sent us through."

Kevin made sounds of disappointment and anger, but he accepted the fact they were still stranded, as he nodded to Jerry, patting him on the shoulder as he moved past him, making his way to the ships bridge, entering the navigation section and looking at a map of the planet, and towards his lead scientist, Robert, and his lead general, Wyatt.

Kevin then spoke in a stern voice. "Gentlemen, I assume we have gotten a good idea of our current situation, lads?"

The scientist nodded as a map of the planet was brought up on the holo table, as he spoke above the voices of several bridge operators managing the ships controls and monitoring systems. "Yes, emperor, we have dispatched five probes into the planets orbit to commence a scan, and we have found some... Fascinating results."

He said as they zoomed in on a particularly large land mass, as images of large towns and cities were displayed, from views of canterlot, to the crystal empire, to the changeling hives, as Kevin made noises of fascination, surprise, and most importantly, scheming, as he already began forming a plan in his head, as he turned to his general.

"Ready the soldiers, tell them to begin preparation for planetside deployment."

The general nodded, grunting in a gruff tone as he walked out of the bridge, with Kevin turning back to the screen, looking at several images taken of the local fauna, including the ponies, dragons, changelings, and other beasts that inhabited this strange land, with him turning to his scientist. "Tell me doctor, what technology do these... Ponies possess? Do they have a military? Air force? Navy?"

The scientist shook his head, answering his questions of these creatures military might. "They seem to possess large amounts of what appear to be royal guardsmen, but they are armed with little more than spears, it seems. From what we can see of technology, it is rudimentary at best, with hot air balloons, and carts wheeling around, a couple of trains even being sighted, so they are at least in a sort of steam age. There cities and towns are actually quite impressive in terms of architecture, so perhaps they possess a higher intelligence than we believe."

Kevin nodded his head at the words of the scientist, impressed by all they have managed to find out so far. "And what of these... Insect like creatures?" He said pointing to the images of said creatures surrounding the massive tower like hives.

The doctor replied in an unsure tone "They appear to be similar in stature and form to a pony, however, scans show they have a hard outer exo skeleton of sorts, and operate on a hierarchy of sorts, like the ponies."

Kevin nodded, fascinated by the variety of creatures in this strange land. He made sounds of confusion, unsure of what to do with these creatures. They were not affiliated with martin, that was for sure, so he had a few options. He could simply exterminate them, as even in the ships weakened state, its not like these creatures had the power to stop him. They could try establishing an alliance, establishing a connection between man and equine.

There was a third option though... Enslavement. Kevin knew it was pretty cliche to go with slavery right away though, so he backed off, and decided he would make such a decision later, as he turned back to his scientist. "If possible, acquire a specimen for study, and be sneaky about."

The researcher nodded, as he got a notification from his data pad, pulling it out of his pocket and looking at it, smiling as he revealed some truly good news. "Sir! We have successfully re-established communications with the remnants of our fleet! While we cannot send a message back, they have confirmed that they are on their way, but they state they cannot enter the same wormhole we entered, as it has closed, so we will need to construct a sort of... Gateway. Luckily, the ship has all the resources needed, so theoretically, we should be able to pull it off."

Kevin had a wide grin across his face, as he made noises of joy and satisfaction. Finally, they could get down to buisness, as he pulled out a radio and spoke into it. "Jerry, ready your construction teams, we got a portal to build..."

[Several Hours Later...]

Outside on the deck of the warship stood Kevin and several of his fellow crew members in their space suits, as he watched them put the finishing touches on the massive machine standing before him, mounted on the ships bow. It was in the shape of a large ring, as several cables and wires stretched all around it, connected to several ports on the ships hull, with several bits slowly rotating around the ring, a small radar dish slowly turning, and an array of tesla coils at the four corners of the gateways platform lightly sparking with electricity. The gateway was as large as the ship itself, barely attached thanks to the several cables tied to its sides, as head engineer Jerry walked up to Kevin in his environmental suit, speaking to his non-human overlord.

"Sir, the gateway is ready."

Kevin made noises of satisfaction, grinning an evil smile, as he raised his hand, clenching his fist around the handle of his trusty assault rifle, signaling to his engineers to activate the gateway, as they surrounded the controls, typing away at keyboards, pulling levers, turning dials, and pushing buttons, as the portal slowly flared to life, glowing a dark blue haze as the electric coils produced several large arcs, as the rotating bits of machinery rapidly gained speed.

Kevins smile was wide, until his engineers started to seemingly panic, as alerts popped up all over the screens, warning of a potential collapse, the portal itself turning red, as the electric arcs grew out of control, zapping at random parts of the hull and leaving scorch marks, the metal cables securing the portal slowly coming loose, as several large red streaks of light flew out of the portal, scattering all over the place, all heading down towards the surface of the planet, as jerry looked to his datapad, seeing the energy readings going off the charts, as he yelled out to his overlord in terror.

"SIR! ITS GOING TO TEAR THE SHIP APART, WHAT DO WE DO!?!"

Kevin was making noises of rage and discontent, grumbling as he aimed his assault rifle at the several cables holding the portal in place, shooting at them, trying to make them dis-connect, but it was no use, as suddenly, in a burst of dark red light, the gateway detonated, its frame shattering to pieces as the electric coils went haywire, their voltage blasting holes in the hull of the ship, a red blast wave rocking the entire ships frame, with multiple tears opening in the armor of the ship, with oxygen leaking, as engineers got to their feet and desperately made an effort to repair the damage.

Meanwhile, kevin was looking down at the surface of the planet, as the ship slowly began to fall towards the planet, knocked out of orbit as they slowly descended towards the planet, peices of hull breaking off, thrusters detonating as the ships hull began to heat up, burning through the atmosphere as Kevin rushed his crew inside of the ship, ordering everybody to brace for impact as the ship came down in a massive crash within the mountain range of equestria... And meanwhile, the rouge bursts of wormhole energy had spread out across Equestria, festering into smaller portals, as windows to other worlds opened and unknown beings began to emerge... From this day forward, nothing would be the same for Equestria...

[End Song]

Act 1, Chapter 1: The Wormholes

Date: Thursday, April 8th.
Time: 12:00 PM, Australian Time.
Location: Kerbal Space Center, The Classroom.

Inside the large classroom building on the outskirts of the space center, near the mission control center, stood martincitopants in his business suit, in front of a room full of his students, as up on the board, was displayed a bunch of equations, as he rambled on about how detachable thrusters are more fuel efficient.

"Now you see lads, when a booster runs out of fuel, the hot hot gas stops coming out, meaning no propulsion, meaning the ship falls..." he says as the display board shows a video of a rocket shuttle running of fuel for its boosters, for before coming crashing down into the ground in a massive explosion as parts flew everywhere. "And explodes. Now, with detachable thrusters, we can attach extra boosters, meaning more fuel, equaling more thrust. Now, class dismiss-"

As he was about to finish his sentence, behind him, a large vortex-like hole slowly tore open, as martin slowly felt himself being sucked, grasping onto his table as he screamed. "What the fuck, what the fuck, the shit is going on-AHHHHHHHHHHHH..." He said screaming loudly as he was sucked into the vortex, it sealing shut as his students having not a single clue what had just happened.

Date: 1943, June 7th.
Time: 12:00 AM, American Time.
Location: Beaches of Normandy.

Charging up the war torn beaches of normandy, would be the russian badger, wearing his good ol black soldier uniform, charging along with his friends, heavenly, grouse, bing and skulker, as they screamed while charging forward, badger firing off rounds from his M1 garand, firing off ammo as a ping sounded, indicating the weapon was dry of ammunition, as badger made noises of pure bliss. "Oh ho ho ho, there it is, there it is!" He then started reloading as everyone ducked into cover behind the ruins of a sherman tank, as german bullets rained hell onto the troops storming the beach. "And this is why I love playing enlisted!"

Heavenly and grouse burst out laughing, as bing pulled the pin on a grenade, standing up and chucking it far into the german fortifications, causing a big BOOM to sound out, as skulker had his soundboard whipped out at the time, playing a reverb fart sound effect the moment the explosion went off, as bing looked at him with rage in his eyes. "Skulker, I swear to fucking god, someday im gonna break that thing over your skull." Skulker burst out laughing with the rest of his friends, before turning to his right and noticing something.

Skulker then spoke in an uneasy voice. "Hey guys, since when the fuck were interdimensional space anomalies a thing during D-Day?" His friends turned as he pointed towards a large glowing red vortex, that all the other soldiers simply ignored, as heavenly looked at it with a red glint in his eye.

"Dunno what the fuck that is, but im boutta find out!" He said charging forward, gasping his shotgun as he leaped straight into it, his friends face palming, before everyone stood up.

Grouse spoke in an annoyed voice. "Heavenly, you fucking moron..." He said chasing after him as he leaped through the vortex, as skulker stowed his soundboard, and looked towards badger and bing.

"Welp, guess were goin on an adventure boys!" He says pulling out an airhorn and blowing it as he himself charged into the vortex.

Bing sighed, readying his rifle as he looked to badger. "Why do I feel like this is a bad idea?"

Badger spoke in a dead ass tone. "Because it is, but fuck it, we need content!" He said as both charged right into the vortex, right as it closed behind them. And yet not a single soldier on the battlefield noticed.

Date: 2001, July 1st.
Time: 12:00 PM, Australian Time. 6:00 AM, American Time.
Location: Altis.

The air was filled with smoke, ash, bullets, and the sounds of plane engines, helicopter rotors, tank treads, and gunfire, as Rimmy Downunder was huddled in a trench with Digby, RubixRaptor, SovietWomble, Cyanide, Nevil, Edberg, and a large squad of their forces united in a joint operation against a AI gone wrong on altis, proudly wearing their military uniforms and helmets, as rimmy spoke out to his comrades in an australian accent.

"Well mates, were pinned down for good, Id say."

His fellow soldiers nodded, with rubix speaking up.

"Oh, ya think? Were being pelted with guns, artillery, and tank shells man!"

Soviet decided to spout something to boost the teams spirits.

"Hey, at least they have aim as bad as cyanide's!" The soldiers of the squad all laughed out loud, with rimmy and rubix particularly laughing the loudest.

Cyanide proceeded to lift his rifle and shoot womble in the leg as he spoke with his typical welsh accent.

"Fook you, ya cunt, ill have you know my shooting fine."

Womble didn't really feel the gun shot, as friendly fire was off, but he still shot cyanide back, with nevil and edberg face palming. "Morons..."

Suddenly, in front of their trench line, a massive red vortex slowly tore open, with all of the soldiers looking on confusion, with rimmy speaking up.

"Now what in the blazin hell is that?" Rimmy said in a heavy aussie accent, as digby screamed.

"ITS HERESY, I SAY!"

Rubix facepalmed, then turned to digby.

"Not everything is heresy digby, although this definitely looks like the work of the forces of chaos, but still."

Cyanide decided to try and be funny, as he spoke to nevil.

"No balls that you run into that thing..."

Nevil slowly turned to him, as he stood up and held his rifle. "Bet." He said charging forward into the vortex, being enveloped by it, as his fellow soldiers stood up in confusion, with soviet slapping cyanide.

"WHY DID YOU TELL HIM TO GO IN!?!"

"I DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD ACTUALLY GO!"

Rubix and rimmy both sighed and spoke at the same time. "Guess we gotta go after him."

Everyone sighed, as Digby proceeded to go into commissar mode, as he spoke to his fellow soldiers, getting them all riled up. "ALRIGHT MEN, TODAY WE ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON A GRAND INTER DIMENSIONAL ODYSSEY TO ANOTHER WORLD! WHO KNOWS WHAT HORRORS WE SHALL WITNESS ON THE OTHER SIDE, BUT WE SHALL STEEL OURSELVES AND BE READY TO FIGHT FOR THE RECOVERY OF OUR COMRADE!" As he finished, everyone cheered, including rimmy and rubix, as everyone hopped from the trench, and charged forward into the vortex, and after the last soldier jumped in, it sealed shut, vanishing from view.

Date: 1997, June 19th.
Location: First City Central Bank.
Time: Oh, who am I kidding, at this point, I don't even know anymore!

Within the bank, there was a robbery going on. Or at least, there should've been, but right now the robbers were confused out of their mind, as before, was standing a well dressed detective and his two assistant children officers, as he stared down the three criminals, as he then spoke out, the robbers expecting him to say something along the lines of 'Your under arrest!' or 'Halt, thieves!'. What really came out of his mouth confused them.

"I, detective dan, am here to make a withdrawal!" He said walking right past the robbers, as he tipped his hat. "Scuse me..." He then walked up to the bank teller, who had his hands and spoke to them. "Why ya got ya hands up, there a party or somethin?"

The teller than spoke in a frantic tone. "What? NO! The bank is being robbed!" The detectives eyes shot wide open as he reached for his gun in his holster and whipped it out, as he yelled out.

"THE BANK IS BEING ROBBED!?!" As he raised his gun, the robbers were spooked a bit, before the detective spun around to look at them. "You three, you robbing this bank?"

One of the robbers, confused and slightly terrified, spoke up. "Ummmmmmm... No?"

Detective dan nodded. "Alright then..." He then pointed it to the teller. "SO ITS YOU ROBBING THE BANK!"

The teller raised his hands as he screamed. "No, I am not!" Dan furrowed his brow in confusing, tapping the gun on his chin.

"Well someone is robbing the place! And Im gonna find out who, cause im detective dan, and dan always gets his man!" He said firing his gun into the air randomly, causing a chandelier to fall right on top of the robbers, crushing them as they dropped bags full of cash, everyone in the bank cheering, as dan posed dramatically. "See, told ya! Im detective dan!" He then looked out the window to see a large red wormhole slowly tear open, as he stared at it a bit before looking at his officer assistants. "Boys, throw me out the window!" The boys both looked at each other, grabbing him, walking him over to the window, and throwing him through it and into the vortex.

"Do we follow them?"

"Nah, we don't get paid enough for this."

Date: Unknown.
Estimated Time: 6 AM.
Location: Equestria, Canterlot Castle Balcony.

High above on top of the balcony, stood princess celestia, next to her sister, princess luna, as they looked to the sky with fear in their eyes, as what they saw horrified them. Tons of burning wreckage and scrap metal slowly burned through the atmosphere, as a massive metal object slowly fell from the sky, as if it had fallen from the heavens themselves, as it left a trail of smoke and fire behind it, as it slowly came crashing down into the distant mountain ranges with a big BOOM, disturbing all of equestria's population from their slumbers. Celestia looked worryingly towards luna as she looked back.

"Sister, what did we just witness?" Luna shook her head, unsure, as she looked to the sky again to see several red streaks of energy burning through the sky, all of them scattering at random, one crashing right in the center of canterlot, as the sisters nodded to each other, quickly expanding their wings and flying down to investigate, and as they arrived on the ground, what they saw was not only an incredible, but also a terrifying, and confusing one, as before them stood around 20 bipedal creatures, all of them holding strange metal sticks and wearing strange looking armor, all of them bearing a variety of insignia, one of them wearing an eccentric uniform with what appeared to be a unknown creatures skull en-christened on the hat, as the one leading them looked and slowly removed his goggles, speaking in a strange accent.

"Now where the bloody hell have we ended up now?" The strange bipedal creature was then answered by another one as they stepped forward, speaking in yet another strange accent.

"Well, were definitely not on altis anymore, lads." And then, another voice spoke up, this time, there accent a bit more clearer.

"And what gave that away, womble?"

The sisters slowly turned their heads towards each other, confused looks on their faces. They were in for a long day...

Act 1, Chapter 2: The Arrival

Date: Still unknown.
Time: Mid-Morning.
Location: Ruins Of Kevin's Warship.

High in the mountain ranges of equestria, the smell of ash and smoke filled the air, as thick plumes of dark soot filled the air, as crashed in the very center of the mountain range, surrounded by rock, was the warship, as pieces of broken metal and salvage lie scattered all over the ground around the crash site, some pieces of metal strewn about all over the mountain range. The warship itself had its engines engulfed in flame, its hull punctured, as loose cables and wires dangled out of exposed armor plating, still sparking with electricity. The bridge of the ship had its window currently sealed by a blast door, as well as the airlock, which was currently blocked off by some rocky rubble that landed on the ship once it landed. Inside the warship, dozens of crewmen skittered across the various decks, as engineers and technicians quickly worked to patch any damage, doctors and surgeons swarming the medical bay as new wounded are wheeled in and tended to, as Kevin can be seen walking with head engineer Jerry and head research Roberts, as he entered the elevator to the bridge with them, as it slowly ascended upwards, as he turned to them while they climbed upwards. "Whats the score jerry?"

"Well sir, engines are currently engulfed in flame, multiple hull breachs on multiple decks, electrical failures across the board, several wounded, none dead luckily, oh, and the primary astroframe is still in tact at least." Kevin made sounds of both displeasure and calmness, because hey, at least nobody was dead, and the ship was still at least partially intact, and with a ding, they arrived in the bridge, which was currently in a high state of dis repair, with wires dangling from the ceiling, still sparking, screens flickering, alarms blaring, and the blast doors still sealed, as Kevin slowly walked over to the central control seat and sat down, as he pressed a few buttons on the chairs right arm, including the big red one, as the blast doors slowly opened, making a loud grinding sound as light flooded into the bridge, the alarm stopping as the lights turned back to normal, and the dictator sighing, as he took in the sight of the ships wrecked bow, including looking at what remains of the gateways mounting point. His sounds of displeasure grew louder, but he soon calmed down, as he turned in his seat to face his assistants, as personnel got to work repairing the bridges functions, working had to return everything to operational order. As this was happening, Kevin activated the holo table in the center of the room, which still had power, as it displayed the current damaged wreck of the ship, with him pressing a few buttons, as the visible fire at the back of the ship began to die down as he cut off the fuel supply. He knew how to salvage this situation, he just needed time. As such, he turned to roberts and gave him a command.

"Deploy all available scout drones to recover geographical data on the area."

Roberts nodded, as he quickly made his way out of the bridge, with Kevin turning to Jerry.

"Jerry, I want the ship's systems and interior fully repaired by night fall, try and get our defenses working by then, we don't know whats out there." As Jerry nodded, Kevin turned back to look out at the bow of the ship, as the rubble blocking the airlock was slowly pushed out of the way, a deck repair crew swarming out as they got to work. It was going to be a long day...

Date: Unknown.
Time: Morning.
Location: Ponyville.

It was your average day in ponyville. The sun was shining bright upon young children as they played in the streets, the birds chirping as people polite-fully passed each other and waved. It was a good peaceful day. That is, until an ear piercing shriek filled the air, made by everyone's favorite fashionista.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rarity screamed at the top of her lungs, as she looked in the front door of her boutique to see an incredible sight. A bipedal creature, wearing what appeared to be an extravagant business suit, and then, for a head, some sort of... Rainbow frog head, as the being slowly approached her, and looked down at her.

"Alright, jeez, pony lady, you don't need to scream your damn lungs out. I get it, your not used to seeing a two footed bipedal frog man in your place, but where I come from, we are a tiny bit more calm when talking ponies and unicorns enter our lives." To say rarity was shocked by the sudden speech of this creature was an under statement, as she heard them speak clearly as day, easily understood as they continued to observe their surroundings. Wanting to try and rectify her rudeness, rarity decided to try and be friendly to the creature.

"U-u-uummmmm... Greetings... May I ask what your name is, good sir, or madam?" The creature nodded, as it spoke clearly, without even moving its mouth.

"I am known as the great martincitopants, but you can call me martin. And yes, I am a dude." Rarity was suprised by the creatures strange name, having heard none like it before. She then decided to have some proper manners and introduce herself.

"Well, I am rarity, owner of this fine establishment you find yourself in. Do forgive me for my sudden outburst, I have never before seen one of your kind." Martin nodded, as it was understandable, hed probably freak out if he saw a talking unicorn where he came from too. Rarity used her horn to pull up a chair as she gestured for martin to sit, as he did so, and then, a small white Persian cat jumped into the lap of martin, as it made itself comfortable, with rarity appearing distraught.

"Oh dear, opalescence, leave our guest be!" Martin slowly waved her off, smiling happily as he pet the cat.

"Its fine, mate, I got my own cat back home, im an expert." He said slowly scratching the cat in all the places it wanted to be scratched, and the sound of hooves coming down the stairs could be heard, as sweetie bell came down to investigate the cream.

"Just whats causing all that-" As she saw the strange bipedal creature holding the cat, she opened her mouth to scream, but found herself unable to, as she straight up fainted, with rarity catching her with her horn. Martin proceeded to let out a tiny chuckle at this.

"Dang, didn't even get a peep out. To be honest, im surpised you haven't fainted." Rarity looked nervously at martin as she set the little filly down on the ground, and placed a hoof on her head, wondering how her friends were doing.

Location: Sweet Apple Acres

As you can expect, a similar situation was going down at the apple family farm, as TheRussianBadger and his team were currently busy hiding in a stack of hay, trying to be stealthy, as when they arrived during the morning via the vortex they took, to say they were surprised by the sights they saw would not begin to truly explain their confusion. Realizing they were now stuck here, badger decided it was best to lay low, as he looked to the distance and say a large barn. "Anyone wanna bet theres some loot in there?" Skulker proceeded to play a 'Cha-Ching!' sound effect on his soundboard, with bing and heavenly rubbing their hands together, and grouse being a little bit reluctant to go randomly looting a house.

"I dunno badger, I mean, what if these fuckers got like AK's or some shit, and we pull up just to get our shit ran. I mean, its a whole new world badger, for all we know, we could just be in country chicago." Heavenly was boutta slap the shit out of grouse for impeding his looting, but badger stopped him, nodding at his words.

"Fair point, fair point, we shall and see if these fuckos come walkin out, and once they do, we make a break for it, and get some sweet ass loot. Heck, maybe their just nazis, maybe were still in D-Day. Although it isn't really enlisted's color scheme." Skulker proceeded to comment on that, being a tech genius.

"Well, no duh, its all technicolor, we're in some sort of cartoon. Wait... No no no, it can't be." He rapidly started typing something into his datapad, before he gasped. "Holy shit, THERES NO WIFI!" Cue them all crying out in pure anguish, falling the ground, as heavenly screamed out.

"WHY! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Grouse and bing just hugged each other, while badger realized he basically lost his only source of income.

"Well shit, im gonna go broke now." Everyone instantly got up and start laughing their assess off at this joke, before realizing they would all go broke too.

"Well shit, guess we gotta find a new source of income, then." Everyone in the group nodded, and prepared to leave the hay, before something gripped onto skulkers hand, and as he tugged and pulled up his hand to see what was on it, it revealed a little doggy gripping onto his hand, as he screamed and threw it off, as the group emerged from the hay stack and bolted it across the apple orchard. Watching this was applejack and big mac, astonished by the bi pedal creatures suddenly emerging from hiding and taking off running at such high speeds. Regardless, they looked like trouble, so she nodded to her brother as both her and big mac gave chase. As badger looked behind him, he saw the two ponies pursuing them, as he pointed it out to the squad.

"Aye, we got two dang ponies chasing us down right now, Im pretty sure we oughta just turn and fight. Wait, SHIT, WE LEFT OUR GUNS!" Heavenly said as Skulker pulled out his soundboard, as he suddenly, had an idea, as he turned around, and playing a dog whistle on his soundboard, as the dog came to a halt, as it fell to the ground and put its paws over its ears.

"Ha, knew that would come in handy!" He said quickly running off as applejack stopped to check on winona.

"Ya okay, winona!?! Are you hurt?" The dog slightly whimpered, but nuzzled applejack, who was just glad her dog was fine, and then something came to applejack. Did those creatures just speak equine? How did they know their language? It didn't matter, they were trouble, as applejack decided to pull out her trusty lasso, quickly catching up to the team of creatures, this time bing looking behind himself.

"THEIR CATCHING UP! Also, im pretty sure that damn pony just spoke english!"

"Yeah, we noticed!" Heavenly chimed in before snatched in the leg by the lasso of applejack and being pulled back, managing to resist as he turned and pulled out a knife, slicing the lasso and laughing in applejacks face. "HA, you stupid ass lasso did shit, horse girl!" And he was met with a swift hind kick to the face, as he was knocked out cold.

"THEY GOT HEAVENLY!" Grouse screamed as the rest of the group ducked into cover behind a fence, and as they hid, they heard applejack calling out in english it seemed.

"Where are ya, ya dirty varmints! Come out before I gotta buck ya like I did ya friend!" Cue badger proceeding to be a defiant bastard and yell out.

"Fuck off, you crazy ass pony lady! Wait a minute, THEY DO SPEAK ENGLISH!" As the rest of the team looked at him, skulker played the bruh sound effect, right before applejack kicked him right through the fence, knocking him out cold, as the rest of the squad took off. And if your wondering why they didn't just use their guns, they accidentally left them in the hay stack. Why? Because plot convenience, don't question it. Anyways, as they ran ahead, badger screamed out in terror.

"SKULKER DOWN!" And suddenly, he tripped over a rock, face planting, and as he slowly got back up, he got kicked in the rear end by big mac, sent flying straight into a fence post, and knocked clean out. As grouse and bing saw this, they just kept on running, until eventually, a little filly entered there path, as the two came to a screeching halt, as applebloom proceeded to faint right in front of them, with bing grabbing a stick and poking her with it.

"She dead?" Before his question answered, both grouse and bing were sent flying by applejack and big mac kicking them at the same time, knocking them straight out. Now your probably wondering how these tough human men were knocked out so easily, so im just gonna say that applejack has one hell of a kick. Anyways, cue applejack and big mac wondering what to do with these strange bi pedal creatures, as applejack grabs her back up lasso and uses it to rope the creatures together, as they are hauled inside the barn, until further notice. Applejack just thought to herself what her friends were gonna think when they heard about this.

Location: Ponyville Town Square.

Cue the confused looks of ponies all around town, as the most peculiar sight appeared before them. A strange bi pedal creature, wearing what appeared to be some sort of detectives outfit, and a big mustache on his face, as he kept on walking, and then realized he was wasn't in the bank anymore.

"Wait, hang on, this ain't the bank! What are all these ponies doing here? Did you all get transformed by some witch? What frog do I need to kiss to bring you back?" Cue the confused reactions of all the ponies in the town square, many just not knowing how to react, as suddenly, pinkie pie emerged from sugarcube corner to see what all the fuss was, and as she saw the new creature acting weird, she decided to introduce herself the pinky way.

"HIYA! You must be new in town, ive never seen you before, you know what that means! New person party!" Cue detective dan getting a look of surprise on his face, as the pink pony rapidly shook the detectives hand. Of course, the detective reacted the only way he knew how.

"Im detective dan!" Pinkie pie smiled at this, as the detective found a cupcake in his hand once she was done shaking it. "Ooooooh, what kind is this?"

"Strawberry!"

"Oooooh, my favorite!" He says eating the cupcake whole, as he looked at pinkie pie with suspicion. "Normally I don't eat cupcakes given to me by pink talking ponies, but today is an exception. Now, whats your name, little talking pink pony that im pretty sure is part of the lucid dream im surely having currently!"

"Pinkie pie!" The detective nodded, before hearing a voice that he knew all too well right behind him, as the frog man himself, martin, was seen walking towards him, arms outstretched, rarity walking beside him.

"Detective dan, my good buddy pal chum chum!" Detective dan opened his arms to embrace martin in a hug, as everyone looked at each other confused, with rarity looking at pinkie pie as she just shrugged.

"Ummmmm, do you know this strange fellow, martin?"

"Know em? Me and him grew up together, he became the best detective in town, I become a multi billion dollar space company owner and teacher." Cue rarity having no idea what he was talking about, but soon, even more confusion came around applejack could be seen helping big mac haul a large bundle of 5 more bi pedal creatures, clothed in what appeared to be military gear, as martin made a sound akin to that of a moose. "Ooooooooooooh, I know these guys, thats the russian badger and his mates." He said pointing at the guys covered in all black armor. And at this point, everybody's brains just overloaded. These guys were all from the same universe? Okay, they needed to sort things out, but not before spike suddenly appeared in front of rarity, holding a piece of mail.

"Mail for you guy- What the heck? There are more of you!?!" Everyone, including martin, was confused by his statement.

"What do you mean 'more'?"

Earlier that morning...
Location: Canterlot, Central City Square.

As the princesses stood before the several bi pedal creatures, the one at the front of the group stepped forward a bit, and seemingly tipped his hat upwards to look at them as they spoke in a strange accent. "Fascinatin, a big ol pegasi and unicorn hybrid! Never even seen a unicorn or pegasi before, this is truly a rare sight!" The two princesses looked at each other confusingly. These creatures knew what they were? Well, not exactly, but they were close. Suddenly, a large regiment of the royal guard surrounded the plaza, as the bi pedal creatures raised their metal sticks and aimed them at the guards men who had their pikes pointed straight at them, before both princesses raised their hooves.

"Halt! Do not harm them!" As the princess spoke, the human had a look of absolute shock on their faces, as celestia seemed confused, as the soldiers broke out into confusion, talking amongst themselves.

"The damn pony just spoke!"

"Shes kinda cute."

"Is that blue one her sister?"

"Are we in danger?"

"What will the commanders do?"

"I just wanna shoot things."

Suddenly, rimmy raised his hand, as the soldiers silenced, before rimmy, rubix, and womble all approached the princesses together, as they tipped their hats.

"M'lady, names rimmy. Rimmy downunder, pleased to make your acquaintance."

The look on celestia and lunas faces turned from one of fear and confusion, to that...

Of curiosity.

Act 1, Chapter 3: Shenanigans Ensue

Location: Twilight Sparkles Castle, Ponyville.
Time: Evening.

The thoughts rushing through the princess of friendships mind were rapid, chaotic, and filled to the brim with confusion as she was looking upon several bi pedal creatures standing before her alongside her friends, one wearing a business suit and a rainbow frog head, a group of five wearing what appeared to be military gear tied together with rope, and a man dressed in what appeared to be a detectives attire. Before she could even say anything, spike, who was standing right next to her, spoke first.

"All right, who the heck even are you people?" As he said this, twilight nodded, as the well dressed rainbow frog creature stepped forward and spoke.

"Greetings, m'lady, I am mr martincitopants, or martin, if you wish to refer to me as such. This here, is my friend detective dan." He says pointing his strange hand towards the creature in the detective attire, who waves back.

"Im detective dan!" Martin nods, as he turns to point at the five tied up soldiers.

"And this is the russian badger and his mates, heavenly, grouse, bing, and skulker." The russian badger was now fully consious after being knocked out by applejack earlier, as he looked at twilight with pure rage in his eyes.

"Your better fucking let me go before I shove a HEAT round up your ass." Even when skulker was tied up, he could still reach his soundboard, as he played a 'Grrrrrr!' sound effect from clash royale, as grouse and heavenly burst out laughing, with bing sighing.

"Skulker, I swear to fucking god, I will kill you in your sleep."

"Ah would watch my language if I was you!" Bing proceeded to make the only rational response a human could make.

"Fuck you, pony girl." He was then met with a swift hind kick to the face, as he reeled his back. "Didn't hurt." Which was then followed by another kick, as heavenly was laughing his off along with pinkie pie.

"You better shut bing, else that cow girl finna wipe the floor with your ass!" Pinkie pie was now on the floor laughing, as the rest of the badger gang followed suit. Martin, dan, the ponies, and spike, just watched in amusement and confusion wondering what the hell is going. Twilight decided to finally speak as she sat up from her throne.

"So I believe introductions are in order. I am princess twilight sparkle, and these are my friends, applejack,"

"Howdy."

"Pinkie Pie."

"Hiya!"

"Rarity."

"Greetings."

"And the rest of my friends aren't here yet, but they will be. Now, it is a pleasure to meet you, mr martin, but if I may ask... What exactly... Are you?" Martin opened his mouth to speak, but stopped, having a confused look on his face, as he made sounds of deep thinking.

"I dunno, I am part frog, part kerbal, part human. But what I do know I truly am, is a being of chaos." Right as he said that, as if on cue, laughter started to fill the room, as everyone looked around the room frantically, martin especially spinning around in circles confused as hell, twilight and her friends just sighing from frustration, knowing exactly who it was. "Who the fuck, the fuck, the shit?" As he was busy cursing, detective dan spoke up, as he whipped out his pistol.

"NOBODY MOVE, I AM A SEASONED GHOST HUNTER!" He said firing off his gun into the air, as the badger gang just burst out laughing.

"Bruh, this dude dumb as shit." Heavenly could not contain his laughter, as skulker played a 'Bonk!' sound effect, furthering the gangs laughter. Suddenly, a familiar voice (Or at least familiar to the ponies) spoke out from the darkness.

"Oh ho ho, did someone say... chaos?" On cue, with a puff of smoke, emerged a strange creature, appearing like a mish mash of creatures, as they hovered in the air and looked down upon the strange bi pedal creatures. Cue martin having a fairly common response.

"What in the fuck is that thing?" As he said this, discord teleported right in front of him, studying the creature. "What the shit, get away you weird chimera lookin ass." Discord could not help but chuckle to himself, as detective dan saw discords chicken foot and came to a reasonable conclusion.

"I'm detective dan! And as a master of polutry, I can sufficiently say that its a chicken!" It was then badgers gang completely lost their shit as they brust out laughing even more.

"BRUH, THIS DUDE DUMB AS HELL!" Grouse yelled out loud, with skulker playing the 'Mutahar Laugh' sound effect. Bing then spoke up.

"Okay, seriously, what the fuck are you?" Discord then turned and looked at the masked soldier, quickly approaching him and his gang.

"Why, you can simply call me discord! Reformed master of chaos and disharmony!" Martin had a confused look on his face.

"Fuck you mean by reformed?" Discord then proceeded to explain the entire plot of how he caused chaos in equestria, and how fluttershy reformed him, with martin and all the other humans making collective understanding noises. "Ooooooooooooooooh."

The look on the ponies faces could be described as confused, curious, and slightly terrified all at the time, except pinkie, who just relished in this chaos, and spike just face palmed, as he then spoke up.

"Look, can we figure this out later? Celestia has requested that the humans be brought to canterlot to meet the other humans there." Martin turned, appearing confused at the mention of the other humans.

"Other humans you say? Then we are not the only ones lads." All the other humans nodded in agreement, as twilight sparkle spoke.

"Very well then, we shall take the very next train to canterlot then!"

Location: Fluttershys Cottage.

There are alot of things fluttershy has seen in her days. Shes seen mind controlled ponies, changelings swarms, discord's own special brand of chaos, dragons, shes seen it all. What she hasn't see was a cross eyed fat bipedal creature with blue overalls, a huge mustache, a red cap with an M on it. As she was about to say something, the red hatted being spoke to her.

"Do you have any food?" Fluttershy, confused as to the creature was asking for food, was currently speechless, as the creature slowly observed his surroundings, looking around, until fluttershy finally had the courage to speak.

"U-u-ummmmmmmm, yes, I... Have some... Pie left over." As soon as fluttershy mentioned pie, the creatures mustache enlarged, as its mouth opened wide, its eyes bulging out of its head as its nose extended to impossible length, before it got down on the ground, making loud sniffing sounds like a dog as it hunted for the remnants of the pie, until it finally found said pie, as it sucked it into its mouth like some sort of vortex. Fluttershy's mouth was open wide, unsure how react to this strange creature, until it spoke again.

"Im a gonna fly for you!" It then jumped right out the window, as fluttershy quickly looked to see it running towards the ponyville. Firguing this strange creature was her responsibility, she gave chase, a sense of anxiety quickly taking over.

"Oh dear...."

Canterlot Royal Palace Dining Hall

Gathered around the table, would be a large group of humans, all of them still in their military uniforms, as they sat and ate, while at the far end, rimmy, rubix raptor, soviet womble, digby, cyanide, nevil, and edberg, were conversing with the two princesses of equestria.

"So let me get this straight, you two rule this kingdom in a diarchy?" Rubix asked celestia and luna, as they both nodded. "Cool." He then got back to eating his dinner, as rimmy asked the next question.

"Tell me celestia, you got a mighty fine kingdom, but hows ya military? Couldn't help but notice your soldiers out there have nothin but spears and swords." Celestia looked at luna awkwardly, before turning back to rimmy.

"We believe that with the magic of friendship, a military is not needed. Those guards are simply the protectors of the palace." Rimmy nodded, not being surprised that talking rainbow ponies valued the magic of friendship, but then womble asked his own question.

"Don't you ever get attacked? You got any enemies?" Celestia thought about his question for a bit, being unsure of how to respond.

"Well yes... But using friendship and the elements of harmony, we managed to pacify them!" Digby seemed intrigued by the mention of these 'elements of harmony'.

"Are these elements some sort of powerful superweapon?" Celestia seemed confused, as luna just shrugeed.

"Goodness no! The elements of harmony are what helps bring friendship to all!" Cyanide audibly gagged when he heard this.

"Hoo boy, your people would not last in our world." He was then slapped by nevil. Celestia placed a hoof on her head, feeling a large amount of stress flowing through her. Just what the hay brought these humans here? Suddenly, a scroll from spike was dropped onto the table, as celestia quickly opened it with her horn and read it.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I cannot even begin to describe the strange properties of the creatures my friends have encountered. The only thing they have in common is that they are all bi pedal, speak our language, and are quite chaotic. I shall bring them to canterlot along with my friends so you may meet them.

As celestia finished reading it, rimmy looked inquisitively.

"What did it say, madam?"

"Oh, its a letter from princess twilight sparkle, my friend and student. She says that there are more like at her castle in ponyville..." All the humans look surpised at what she said, quite confused. Rubix was especially concerned.

"How is that possible? I mean, we just saw a vortex and went through it... So maybe..." Digby then spoke up.

"Perhaps others have done the same." Everyone then realized there could tons of people from other worlds in equestria right now. This was going to become chaotic real quick.

Location: Kevin's Warship.

Compared to the original state of the warship when it first crashed into the mountain range of equestria, the ship was currently doing much better off, as much of the damage on all decks had been repaired, with the external hull being patched, and all the fires onboard being fully extinguished. Within bridge command center as men rushed around the room, typing at computers, turning knobs and dials, running calculations, carrying stacks of paper, and operating radios. In the center of the room, in his control seat, sat the dictator of his empire. The legendary, the infamous, Kevin as he observed his crew doing their work, before a notification popped up on the screen within his arm chair, as he pressed it, and a holo screen appeared in front of him, displaying close up photos of ponyville, taken by the drones he had dispatched, as they included several photos of the town central square, one including, some sort of detective, a bunch of soldiers typed up, some ponies, and... His teeth clenched, his fists clenched, as his anger bubbled up, eventually bursting out in a primal roar of rage that echoed throughout equestria, all the way to the badlands...

"MARTIN!!!"

Act 1, Chapter 4: A Turbulent Train Trip

Ponyville Train Station

Standing at the terminal, awaiting the train would be 4 of the main 6 and spike, awaiting the next train with their human companions, as martin looked at his watch next to rarity.

"Do these trains usually take so FUCKING long?"

"Sadly yes, steam trains these days are very slow..."

"Bruh, you still operating on steam trains? Back on kerbin, we got rocket trains." Everyone looked on with fascination, especially twilight sparkle, who was thrilled to hear of technology from other worlds.

"Oooooooh, could you please tell me about this technology? Who designed it? How does it work?"

"Well, your majesty, to understand that, we must first understand something. What is, technology?" Suddenly, a background theme started, as everybody was suddenly transported to some sort of massive classroom, as martin stood at the front of the class. "Class is in session, so buckle your fuckles, were gonna learn about, TECHNOLOGY." Everyone was currently confused as fuck, wondering how they even ended up here in the first place, but detective dan was already busy with his notepad being out.

"Now, what is, technology? Well, technology is a concept created by all sentient beings, used to assist the process of evolution. From the wheel, to the steam engine, to electricity, to the gun." Cue the sound of a gun shot being played as he dropped to the ground and screamed "AHHH FUCK-" Cue everyone else except Dan dropping to the ground, as Badger quickly got back up with his gun drawn.

"ALRIGHT FUCKERS, IM ARMED, COME AT ME!" Cue the ponies just face hoofing as Skulker played a chainsaw effect while Heavenly entered his doomslayer suit and slowly loaded his shotgun with malicious intent, only to be stopped by Applejack.

"Yah can stop pardner, I think its a false alarm." Heavenly appeared disappointed as he dropped his shotgun and everyone slowly got back to their seats. Martin quickly stood back up, as he got back to teaching.

"AHEM, anyways, as you can see, technology, is important for life and evolution, so as such, it must constantly evolve. If a nations technology stagnates, it will eventually fall behind and become primitive, being seen as a prime target by enemy nation. This is why you ponies must improve your technology, to stay ahead. Now, class is dismissed." He said as the classroom faded away, as they all found themselves back on the platform, still waiting for the train, as Twilight simply was flabbergasted, but made sure to take quick notes.

"I... fully understand, I shall consult princess celestia about improving Equestria's technology at once!" Rarity then voiced her concern.

"But is magic not sufficient for us ponies to maintain our species? If we become reliant on technology, what if we lose our magic?" Martin opened his mouth to answer, but was stumped, until he figured something out.

"Hows about you combine technology with magic?" All of the ponies had a moment of collective acknowledgement.

"Oooooooooooooh..." They all then nodded their heads.

"Makes sense tah me."

"Indeed, a genius idea darling!"

"The best of both worlds."

Martin felt proud of himself, while skulker and Bing noticed something in the distance, as detective dan turned to see a certain italian approaching. "Hey look, its a fat italian with a big mustache!"

Martins eyes expanded in surprise. "WHAT." Cue him looking, to see Mario, rapidly running towards the train terminal, making airplane noises as Fluttershy flew after her.

"Wait, stop! Come back!" Suddenly, Marios neck snapped as he turned his 180 degrees around as he faced Fluttershy.

"How about no." He then turned back, as Fluttershy had a horrified look on her face.

Martin slowly sighed. "Oh fuck, its the dumb one." He facepalmed as twilight, rarity and applejack looked at him with worry in their eyes.

"What do yah mean by 'dumb one'?"

Suddenly, Mario reached the terminal, as he leaped into the air, only to get hit right in the face, by the oncoming train, as everyone collectively understood why he was dumb, as Mario was completely DECKED, smacked down onto the rails in front of the train, as Fluttershy quickly hovered over him. "Oh dear, are you hurt, do you need help? How many hooves am I holding?"

"Twenty-one." As everyone gathered around the cross eyed fat Italian, they knew he was truly dumb.

"Ah reckon hes got brain damage."

"Hes cross eyed! COOL!"

"Possible cerebral cortex fracture..." Martin said, as twilight looked at her confusingly.

"The heck is a cerebral cortex?" Martin was preparing to start another class, but suddenly, the conductor of the train yelled out.

"ALL ABOARD!" Realizing they were about to miss the train, Fluttershy attempted to lift the fat Italian off of the tracks, struggling even with Applejack, Pinkie pie, Rarity, Twilight, and spike all helping to support her, it still wasn't enough, as Martin and Badger also chipped in while detective Dan rushed them on.

"Lets go, lets go, chop chop, we ain't got all day!"

"Yah could help us, y'know!" Detective dan responded the only way he knew how.

"Im detective Dan."

Skulker then played a 'Bruh' sound effect, as Bing just facepalmed. "Skulker, I swear to god..."

As the group slowly heaved the fat Italian into the train, the rest of the group filed into the train as they took their seats.

"Next stop, canterlot!"

Kevins Warship, Equestrian Mountains.

Sitting in his favorite command chair within the warships command bridge as operators rushed around him, the infamous dictator, Kevin, looked at the screen displaying the face of martincitopants, his ultimate nemesis, as he grinded his teeth together and clenched his fists, grasping the arm rests of his chair... "Damn you, martin, no matter where I go, you are there to ruin my plans! But who are his friends?"

He said zooming away from the face of martin, to reveal the faces of badger and his friends, as well as detective dan, as the screen scanned them and showed him all the data he needed. "Therussianbadger and detective Dan, eh? Fascinating... Perhaps the portal malfunction is what brought them all here... And who are there equine friends?" He said analyzing the ponies as well as the little draconic figure accompanying the humans. "Hmmmmmmm, the bearers of the elements of harmony... Fascinating." He then turned to his science general. "Scan those ponies and determine their power." The scientist nodded as he turned to his computer, typing away and performing calculations, until the result on screen caused his jaw to drop.

"Sir... Its... Incredible..." As Kevin stood up from his chair and walked over, he viewed the screen, his jaw opened wide as well, before it formed into a sinister smile, as he turned to his robotics general.

"Ready project savage steel... I want those ponies alive, and Martin DESTROYED!" The general quickly nodded as they entered an elevator and slowly descended down into the robotic wing of the warship, as a massive robotic beast could be seen in containment, as it slowly prowled its containment cell, its true appearance concealed in shadow as the room had little lighting.

The general nodded to his colleagues, signalling them to prepare the war machine for deployment, as a metal dome descended over the beast, entrapping it within an orb as it slowly hovered upwards, being loaded into a railgun like cannon, as it slowly charged up, before firing off a shot right towards the very location martin was standing, which would be aboard the steam train.

Along the railway to canterlot.

As the train sped along the railway to canterlot as a rather steady pace, martin gazed out the window at the landscape, gawking at Equestria's beauty. "This place is fucking beautiful."

Therussianbadger and Heavenly were sitting across from him, as they clinked together two bottles of beer, before they both chugged it, as rarity, who was sitting next to Martin, proceeded to audibly and visibly gag as she witnessed the horrid behavior of the men. "Ugggh, what brutes!"

"SILENCE WENCH." Heavenly said in a booming voice, before Martin straight up SLAPPED him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." Badger burst out laughing as Rarity sighed. Meanwhile, on the other side of the train cart, laid a fat italian in a red cap as Fluttershy examined his face, which had a big black eye, while Pinkie poked his fat belly, and detective Dan used an eye glass on the red cap, examining the 'M' on it.

"Oh, I get it, this guys name is M!" Applejack, who was sitting next to him, face hoofed.

"I reckon its probably meant to represent his actual name... What even is it? Fluttershy, can you ask him?" Fluttershy nodded as she spoke to the fat italian.

"May I ask your name mister?"

"Its-a-me, Mario!"

"What a nice name!" As Pinkie pie continued to poke Mario, Skulker, Bing, Grouse, and Twilight were all sitting together, playing poker, as twilight held her cards with her magic.

"Soooooo, how does this work again?" Skulker then played a bruh sound effect on his soundboard, as Bing educated her.

"Ok so-" Before he could finish, a sudden THUD could be heard hitting the ceiling as everyone quickly looked towards the source of the sound, as the ceiling proceeded to break open, as a giant metal ball fell onto the floor, as martin reacted appropriately.

"What the fuck?" As he slowly approached the orb, the top of it blew off in a burst of red energy, as smoke emitted from it, and suddenly, a mechanical beast about as big as the cart itself, slowly emerged from the black pod.

The metal beasts red eyes glared directly at martin, as its mechanical voice spoke. "DESTROY MARTINCITOPANTS."

"Ah shit-" Before he could react, the mechanical beast swatted him to the far back end of the cart, as Rarity ran to assist him while Badger and his friends quickly pulled out their rifles and shotguns, as they fired bullets and shotgun slugs into the beast.

"PERISH YOU ARMORED HELL BEAST!"

"DEUS VULT, MOTHERFUCKER!" Grouse said as he charged the fucking thing with a broadsword, taking a swing at it before being absolutely BODIED by a claw, almost sent out the window, were it not for twilight catching her with her magic.

"Are you alright!?!"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK LADY?" As he screamed, Skulker played a 'Bruh' sound effect, as Bing grabbed the soundboard, and knocked Skulkers lights out with it.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THAT BRUH SOUND EFFECT, IM TIRED OF IT!" Badger broke out laughing, despite his life being in danger while he cowered behind cover, as he saw Applejack and Fluttershy hiding across from him, as he formulated a plan.

"HEY APPLE GIRL, CAN YA BUCK THAT THING?"

"AH RECKON!" Applejack then quickly ran out of cover and rapidly charged towards the mechanical beast, as she turned and kicked the beast straight in the head, sending the beasts head into the air, exposing the lower belly of the beast, as Badger took aim and pulled out a damn javelin launcher, firing the rocket right at the beasts exposed underbelly as Applejack dodged out of the way, the beast's under carriage completely decimated, as its internal mechanical bits were exposed, including its power core, as detective Dan pointed out.

"Hey look, that glowy thing might be the big cats power source!" He was currently ducking behind cover clutching his pistol with pinkie pie, who was loading her confetti cannon.

"Then we oughta take it out!" Applejack said as she nodded to badger, who was already loading another rocket. "PINKIE, CAN YA BLIND IT?"

"You betcha!" She said firing a butt load of confetti and cake into the optics of the mechanical beast, as its roared in frustration, when suddenly... FWOOOOOOOOM... Fire bellowed from the mouth of the beast, scorching the now decimated train car as the roof was basically gone at this point, as Twilight conjured a shield to protect her friends from the fire, as the heat nearly singed Applejack's hat and almost set off badgers missile, as he had a look of fear on his face, like he had just seen god. At the end of the cart, martin was currently in agonizing pain.

"AHHHHHH FUCK, IT HURTS!" Rarity was currently trying to heal martin as much as she could, before the frog man stood up, and suddenly from out his pockets, pulled out a machine gun.

"Where in celestias name did you procure that from?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" He said unloading bullets into the machine as he screamed, further dis-orienting it as it slowly stepped back, pressing up against the back of the cart. Meanwhile, Mario was still completely un-aware of his situation, until he slowly sat up, and rolled off of the table, hitting the floor and jumping up, as he looked at Fluttershy.

"Hey, imma hungry!" Fluttershy was flabbergasted by the strange mans wanting of food in a time like this, before she had an idea.

"I-ill give you food if you beat that mean metal monster!" Mario's mustache widened, as his glare narrowed at the beast, as he screamed out.

"LEEEEEROOOOOOOOY JEEEEEENKINS!" He said rushing the beast, as he grasped at the face of the mechanical monstrosity, punching its eyes out as it slowly stood up on its feet, while badger took aim at the core.

"FIRE IT NOW, BADGER!"

"DON'T NEED TO TELL ME TWICE, APPLE!" He said launching the missile right towards the heart of the mechanical beast, blowing it to absolute pieces as Mario dropped down, a bit burned, but completely fine. Everyone was breathing heavily, with Fluttershy and rarity on the edge of a heart attack, while badger and applejack did a fist-hoof bump.

"HELL YEAH!"

"MIGHTY FINE AIMIN' PARDNER!"

"Your not so bad yourself apple girl!"

Meanwhile, martin just appeared confused, as he slowly walked up to see the broken pod the beast came in, seeing a familiar face etched into it, as his brow furrowed, and he took a deep breath. Everyone else knew what was about to happen, as they covered there ears.

"FUCKING KEVIN!!!"

And if your wondering where discord was the whole time, he was sitting in his seat just sipping coffee, relishing in the chaos as usual.

Act 1, Chapter 5: Destructive Arrival

Canterlot Train Station

The train slowly began to pull into the station, losing speed as it finally came to a halt. Of course, everybody aboard both the train and standing on the platform could see what had happened earlier in one of the carts...

The roof was missing, several bits of metal were strewn about, chairs and tables were scorched, rugs were scratched, and Martin was still in pain.

"Fuck me, that robo tiger was tough." As Twilight Sparkle used her magic to slowly heal martin, Rarity kept inspecting his suit, getting any kind of dirt of it.

"Oh dear, your suit is getting all dirty from this!"

"Ah, don't worry bout it, I got hundreds of spare suits." Rarity was about to question it, but she stopped herself, as she turned to Fluttershy and Discord still tending to the idiotic red plumber.

"So... You like spaghetti?"

"Spaghetti."

"I see..."

"Quite a fan of Italian cuisine, I see."

Meanwhile, Therussianbadger and the gang were busy suiting up with Pinkie and Applejack. Grouse held a M4 assault rifle, Heavenly held a super shotgun from doom, Skulker had a flamethrower, Bing had a grenade launcher, and Therussianbadger had a minigun, as even Pinkie questioned where they got these weapons.

"Where the heck did you get those fancy contraptions?" Heavenly slowly leaned in and whispered into pinkies ear.

"Plot convenience." Pinkie nodded in understanding as Applejack face hoofed. Meanwhile, Detective Dan was busy inspecting the city from a distance through his magnifying glass.

"Yep, thats a city alright!" Bing, grouse, and heavenly burst out laughing at Dan's stupidity, as Martn finally stood up, he walked beside the rest of the gang, and looked towards the city.

"So that's Canterlot?" Twilight sparkle nodded as she answered his question.

"Indeed, its where princess Celestia and Luna reside!"

"I see. Very well then, ladies and gentlemen, let us set off." He said stepping off the train, with everyone else following him, as they walked into the city.

Canterlot Royal Gardens.

In the royal gardens, Rimmy would be standing with Rubixraptor and Sovietwomble, as they watched their soldiers begin to set up shop, pitching tents, building barricades, setting up radio equipment, deploying sandbags and barbed wire, and wheeling in supplies, all thanks to rimmy's zeus powers, as he could spawn in the equipment they needed. Celestia and Luna just watched as the humans worked brutally and efficiently, transforming the gardens into some sort of command center. Then Rimmy proceeded to speak up.

"Hope you don't mind us usin' your gardens as a FOB for a bit, least until we find a better place here." Celestia turned to rimmy and smiled as she nodded.

"Of course, Rimmy, it is alright, you and your people may remain here while we solve the conundrum that has been placed before us... Now, I do hope Twilight arrives soon..." As she said this, a scroll appeared in front of her as she quickly caught it and opened it, the words making her grimace.

Dear Celestia...

We were attacked! Some sort of large metal beast assaulted on our train trip and decimated the cart we were in! It dealt heavy wounds to martin, but luckily, with our powers combined, we managed to destroy the beast. However, martin discovered it originated from someone called... Kevin, as he screamed out in quite an outburst of rage. I will shortly arrive at your palace so martin and his friends may meet you.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

As Celestia sighed in both relief that they survived and fear at them being attacked, Rubixraptor also saw the letter.

"Hmmmm, large metal beast eh? Might be a robot?" Sovietwomble also spoke up.

"Well of course, ya dingus, what else would it be?"

"Fair point." Cyanide then actually said something smart for once.

"So if they got attacked, what if we get attacked? Oh fuck, we boutta get blitzed." Digby then supported Cyanides fears.

"Cyanide is right for once. Your city may be the next target of an attack, whether it be to destroy us or this martin fellow. I highly recommend preparing your forces!" Rimmy, knowing not to take digby's advice lightly, also advised celestia.

"Indeed, your city is a big target for direct assault. No anti-air defenses, no watchtowers, garrisons, or fortifications, nothing to stop a direct assault." Celestia looked to rimmy, understanding the humans worries, and considering he was a man of the military, she did not take his words lightly, then princess Luna decided to take the initiative.

"Very well, I shall have the royal guard be on high alert, we shall be ready!" Then, Princess Luna rushed off inside the castle, heading to ready the guards, as Celestia nodded and looked to Rubix, who made a snarky quote.

"She really does run like the wind, doesn't she?" Meanwhile, Nevil was working on setting up a portable anti air gun with Spartan.

"No, righty tighty, you buffoon!"

"I never graduated okay!"

"YOU DON'T NEED TO GRADUATE, ITS BASIC DAMN KNOWLEDGE!" A couple soldiers laughed at their stupidity, including Rubix, Tails, and Womble, before a lone guardsmen rushed into the gardens.

"Princess Celestia, your student and her friends have arrived!"

Canterlot Square.

The ponies and there human companions were slowly walking through the streets, observing their surroundings, as Detective Dan looked to see a pony wearing a sombrero, and walked over to inspect it.

"My good friend, are you mexican?"

"Uhhhh... No, whats a mexican?"

"Then you cannot be wearing that hat!" Detective dan then tried to wrestle the hat off of the pony, while Discord and Grouse were busy discussing banana prices.

"That is simply absurd, bananas are only a couple bits over here!"

"I know, simply absurd, charging by the pound is bull shit!"

"You really oughta sue whoever started that."

"Bitch, do I look like a lawyer?"

Rairty, Twilight, and Martin were currently staring at the large castle of the city, as Martin was impressed by its scale.

"Yo, holy shit, place is bigger than the hangar back at the space center. You guys know how to build shit. Anyways, I presume princess Celestia is in that castle?" Twilight sparkle nodded in confirmation.

"Indeed, she and her sister, princess Luna live in that castle, and together, they raise both the sun and moon." Martin turned to twilight, wondering how the hell two ponies could control the sun and the moon.

"Okay, how the fuck does that work? That literally defies all laws of gravity and physics, but then again, world of talking magical friendship ponies, no surprise there."

Fluttershy, Mario, and Skulker were feeding some pigeons using some bread crumbs. Well, Fluttershy was doing the feeding, Mario was just eating the crumbs, and Skulker was playing autotuned bird noises, which caused a swarm of pigeons to engulf.

"MFMFMFFFFFMMMM-" Cue him panicing as he was swarmed, with Fluttershy gasping and Mario laughing his ass off.

"Oh dear..."

On the next bench over, Therussianbadger, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie were all currently discussing the best type of pie, as Pinkie cried out in anguish.

"You heathens! How dare you talk smack about strawberry pie!"

"Listen here, you little shit, pumpkin pie is and always will be superior in every way."

"As if, apple is by far the best pie!"

"Wanna bet, apple girl?"

"Come at me, pumpkin man!" Cue AJ and Badger pressing their foreheads against each other, before Bing spoke up.

"I personally love pineapple pie myself." Cue Pinkie, AJ, and Badger all looking at Bing, eyes filled with hate, as Badgers eyes glowed blood red as he loaded his shotgun with malicious intent. "AYO CALM DOWN-"

As the gang was peacefully hanging out, or in the case of Badger, Pinkie, and AJ, strangling and beating the shit out of Bing, they heard tire screeching, as a rather shoddy looking aluminum vehicle drove out from around a corner, as it came barreling down the road, as three distinct humans could be seen driving it, and chasing behind it, was Rainbow dash.

"JAMES, HIT THE BRAKES!" Hammond said to James, who was currently wrestling the steering wheel.

"I CAN'T, THERE ON CLARKSON'S SIDE!" James shouted out, as Clarkson looked over confused.

"WHY ARE THEY ON MY SIDE!?!" Clarkson yelled out in anger, in a heavy British accent.

"I DUNNO, YOUR THE ONE THAT BUILT THIS POOR EXCUSE OF AN ELECTRIC CAR!" Speeding behind the three British men, Rainbow dash was still trying to comprehend how they were going faster than her, as she rocketed after them.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU WEIRD APES!" As the metal vehicle approached Martin and the gang, his eyes widened as he yelled out in terror.

"OH SOD IT, GET OUT OF THE WAY." He quickly leaped out of the vehicles path, as did rarity and twilight, Pinkie putting on a helmet as she and the rest of the gang were hiding behind some flower beds, except Mario who was still in the vehicles path.

"WERE GONNA HIT THE ITALIAN!"

"THAT THING IS ITALIAN?"

"STEER AWAY, STEER AWAY!" Hammond screamed as James pulled hard right on the wheel, causing the car to then spin out rapidly, before coming to a stop right in front of the italians face.

"Pingas."

As Mario proceeded to faint, the three British men slowly exited the vehicle, only for Hammond to be socked in the face by Rainbow dash.

"OW!" Clarkson and James burst out laughing.

Kevin's Base.

By now, Kevin's warship was now less of a warship and now more of a makeshift base, as the rocky mountains it was surrounded by were slowly drilled out, with bunkers and tunnels being constructed, facilities being built into the sides of the mountains and cliffs surrounding the massive vessel. The ship itself had been expanded upon, its size having increased with its bridge being extended outwards, and several long cables and pipes running out of its bottom, connecting to various defensive turrets and detection systems, and on the top deck of the ship, a makeshift runway was constructed, as a couple aircraft were currently being assembled on deck, as armament was being wheeled around. Inside the ship, there was constant activity, as crews moved back and forth, working diligently with repairs, upgrades, and scans.

Kevin sat in his command chair within the bridge, smiling to himself as he watched his new base take shape. Soon, it would be a grand fortress, a fortress from which he would launch his invasion upon the whole of equestria, and soon, beyond. As operators rushed around him as his chief general stood by his side.

"Sir, the new combat bots are ready." A sinister smile formed across Kevin's face.

"Launch them at once."

Act 1, Chapter 6: Incoming!

Canterlot City Square.

Twilight sparkle was currently EXTREMELY confused. Just a few moments ago, a metal chariot came barreling down the road, pursued by her speedster friend Rainbow Dash. Said metal chariot was piloted by three humans, from what she could tell, as they almost collided with Mario, who promptly fainted from the close call collision. As soon as they dis-embarked from their vehicle, Hammond was summarily socked directly in the face by Rainbow dash, as his compatriots burst out laughing. Immediately, Martin recognized them.

"YOOOOOOO, it's the guys from that car show, top gear. Fuckin love these guys." Cue Skulker playing the 'Top Gear' opening theme on his soundboard, as Clarkson and James bowed, while Hammond still recoiled from the impact of RD's hoof, lightly rubbing the point of collision, where a visible red hoof mark could be seen.

"Good to see we have some fans here. Now, could someone explain why we are back in the magical pony land?" Clarkson said in his typical British accent.

It was suddenly then, that all the ponies present, had an epiphany. It was Clarkson, James, and Hammond, the same people they had raced back in the human world, as everyone smiled, glad to see their old human friends again, except for Rainbow dash. Martin and his compatriots looked confused, as Badger spoke up.

"Fuck do you mean 'back'?" James simply replied to the angry man.

"Well, we've been here before, during that one special episode, where Rainbow dash here appeared on the show." James said while Rainbow dash had a look of annoyance on her face.

"Yeah, and when you cheated!" Rainbow dash said, having fond memories of her racing in challenges against the Stig and doing that final race with her friends. Hammond just sighed.

"Look, we weren't about to get showed up by some cartoon pony from another dimension, humanity would be a laughing stock! Not to mention, you broke into our garage and butchered our prize car!" Rainbow snickered at the memory, with Rarity being audibly offended.

"'Butchered'!?! I made it look beautiful!" While Clarkson and James almost threw up, Martin had a realization.

"Oooooh yeah, I remember watching that episode. Shoulda known this place was actually real, heh, woulda come here myself if I had discovered how to." Rarity then suddenly realized why Martin had such a tame reaction to seeing her the first time they met at her boutique, that being, it technically wasn't the first time they had met.

"So that's why you were so calm when we met, darling!"

"Indeed, Rarity. And besides, I prefer to keep my cool." Martin said, as Applejack rolled her eyes, as she could tell he was lying about that without even needing the element of honesty, on account of Martin constantly screaming. Twilight suddenly had a look of happiness on her face.

"Well, it's good to see you have returned to Equestria!" Clarkson happily nodded to the princess.

"Of course, it's always good to see you ponies. I see you have some peculiar human friends with you." Clarkson said as he and his compatriots looked to Martin, Badger and his gang, Detective Dan, and Mario, who was currently being tended to by Fluttershy.

Applejack then asked a question. "Wait, where's that Stig feller?"

Cue Hammond gritting his teeth. "It's a long story..."

"Today was the day. After several months of laboring and repairs, the Hammer-I Eagle Thrust electric car had been fully retrofitted and repaired. Complete with an updated electric motor, refined and reinforced chassis, smoothed and polished exterior, advanced GPS and electronic features, better durability and resistance, automated driving, it even had cup holders! The car was like brand new, as we slowly pushed it out onto the test track." Clarkson said, as he narrated the scene of him, James, and Hammond slowly pushing the vehicle along, grunting as it slowly came to a stop at the starting line of the track.

"Alright dear viewers, today we are going to use our newly upgraded electric car in a race against the Stig, driving in a Tesla Model S." James said as a unknown person pulled up to the starting line in said car, wearing a white drag suit with a white racing helmet on their head, obscuring their identity.

"This race will be to find out if our electric car is fast enough to beat Elon Musk's Model S in terms of speed, making a full three laps around the track. Me and my companion, will of course be driving the electric car." Hammond said, as he and his British compatriots slowly loaded into the car, closing the doors as the electric motor slowly engaged, while the Stig revved their electric engine. A man dressed in a lab coat walked on the side of the road, holding a checkered flag, and, after counting down to three, waved it rapidly, as both vehicles screeched forward.

However, right as they left the starting line, a red streak of energy flew through the sky, until it landed right in front of the electric car, tearing open a large red spinning vortex, as the British men all screamed, the vehicle driving head first into the vortex. The Stig saw this, and, thinking it was part of the script, also refusing to let himself be beat, quickly followed them through.

After Hammond finished his story, as everyone nodded in understanding, Rarity then asked another question. "Wait, if the Stig followed you, where is he?"

As the British men pondered the answer, we travel down to the deepest pit of Tartarus, to see Tirek and Cozy Glow playing Poker from their cages. However, playing with them, was the Stig.

As we cut back to the group, Pinkie pie was currently brimming with joy, happy to see more human friends.

"Hoooo boy, we gotta throw a welcome back to Equestria party! Well, just one big welcome party seeing as this is the first time being here for alot of you, but still, PARTY!" Everyone just chuckled in amusement at Pinkie's enthusiasm, while James turned to his human compatriots.

"I am assuming that you were brought here by the same anomaly responsible for our appearance here?"

Cue Heavenly answering. "Big red swirling mysterious vortex?" Clarkson and his fellow british men nodded. "Yep, thats how we all got here. All either walked through or got sucked into a fucking weird vortex. Still don't get where the damn thing's came from." Martin's eyes narrowed, knowing exactly who was the cause.

"Kevin... That fucker caused all of this." Cue everyone looking at Martin funny.

"Aye, frog man, who the fuck is Kevin?" Bing asked in an annoyed tone.

"Only the most dangerous threat this planet will ever know. He's a fuckin alien who infiltrated my classroom, stole my knowledge, fled to proxima kentauri B, built up a giant space armada, assaulted my galaxy, waged war on the bean space program, and we only barely managed to fight back against him and send the fucker flying back to his homeworld. However, seeing that there was that robotic beast, and those portals, it's safe to assume he somehow wound up on your world, Twilight." Taking in the massive amount of info, Twilight grimaced, fearing the power of this 'Kevin'.

"But why would he pull all of you from your home dimensions and bring you to ours?"

"He was most likely attempting to summon the remnants of his massive fucking space armada, seeing as we never fully got rid of it." Cue Grouse butting in.

"Well then, seems like he fucked it up." Everyone nodded at that fact, smiling.

"Indeed, this Kevin fellow had his plan foiled before it even began!" Discord said with enthusiasm. Applejack and Rarity had looks of skepticism on their faces.

"I dunno... If this Kevin feller could send a metal hound after us, what else could he send?"

"Indeed, he could potentially be planning to assault us again right now as we speak!" Badger simply chuckled.

"Oh please, that dumb ass knows we would just fuck up his shit again-" Suddenly, Detective Dan butted in.

"Hey guys, look up!" Dan said looking to the sky with a magnifying glass, as everyone did the same. They then saw three small objects burning through the sky, heading right towards them, as Martin screamed in panic.

"OH FUCK, EVERYONE GET DOWN!" Martin said as everyone quickly ducked behind cover, with Clarkson, James, and Hammond hiding behind their vehicles, Martin, and the ponies hiding behind a found, Badger and his gang taking cover behind a bench, Discord, Dan, and Mario not moving what so ever, the trio drinking tea as the massive objects collided with the ground, leaving a massive impact crater.

One Minute Earlier...

Royal Castle Courtyard.

Currently almost all of the Lunar and Solar guard, as well as Ignis Corp, Cadian XXth, and ZF, were standing before Celestia, and Luna, who was currently wearing her battle armor, as well as Rimmy, Rubix, Soviet, and Digby, who was currently giving a speech.

"Grand warrior guards of princess Celestia and solders of humanity. I am Commissar Digby, and by the holy charge granted to me by the holy emperor, it dictates that I teach you the true meaning of being a soldier, and give motivational speeches, so listen to me! You are the finest the Equestrian military has to offer! You have been taken in and shown the hospitality of these friendly natives, and now, you are charged with the protection of Canterlot, and by extension, the princesses themselves! Are you going to let the enemy waltz in here and take over?"

Collectively and defiantly, all of the guards spoke. "SIR, NO, SIR!"

"Are you going to let the enemies of this nation walk all over you and make you their bitch?"

"SIR, NO, SIR!"

"Are you willing to lay down your life in defense of this land and all that you care for, all that you love?"

"SIR, YES, SIR!"

"Good." Digby then turned to the two princesses. "I did my best."

"We must admit, you are quite talented in the art of motivation, Digby." Luna said with a surprised tone.

"Thank you, princess Luna. It is my duty as Commissar to inspire the greatest in all soldiers." Rubix then slapped his hand's together happily.

"Well then, now that your army is up to date, let's go-"

Before Raptor could finish his sentence, Soviet womble got everyone's attention, as he pointed to the sky.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!" As everyone looked up, they saw three objects burning through the sky, witnessing them crash down in the city, as Rimmy shouted.

"To arms, men!" As he shouted, his soldiers quickly readied their weapons, breaking formation as they rushed for the gates of the castle, Rimmy and his comrades following, while Luna also giving the order to the guards.

"Guards, follow the humans! Defend Canterlot!" Luna said as she quickly took the lead of her guards, her sister following behind as they rushed to confront the new threat.

Back in the City Square...

As the dust settled and everyone emerged from cover, they saw three large black metal pods. Martin eyed the metal pods with suspicion, as he turned to Badger and nodded, who nodded in turn as he raised his rifle, his friends also raising their weapons and aiming at the metal pods. The ponies readied themselves for whatever may emerge, with Rarity and Twilight's horns lighting up. Discord simply pulled out a chocolate pie to use as a projectile. Mario and Dan, decided to take on the duty of investigation, as they walked up to the metal pods, and both knocked on the center one's exterior.

"Seems fine to me!" Dan exclaimed, with Mario giving a thumbs up, only for him to be crushed by the pod's center door as it slammed down on top of him, Dan stepping back while everyone else readied themselves. Large amounts of steam and smoke emitted from the pod, hissing as mechanical whirring and clanging could be heard, until suddenly...

A single red eye lit up, followed by a mechanical voice. "DESTROY ALL TARGETS."

"I'm detective Dan!"

Author's Note

If your wondering how the ponies know the Top Gear cast, refer to this Story.
I really love this story, and felt like I should honor it and it's creator by including it's lore in the story. Call it the Top Gear X MLP extended universe.

Act 1, Chapter 7: Chaos In Canterlot

"DESTROY ALL TARGETS."

Heavy mechanical stomping could be heard as the massive hulking machine slowly stomped out of the drop pod, it's red eye trained directly on Detective Dan. A clear view of the large robot was granted, as they viewed the machines dark heavy steel armor covered most of it's body, with its left arm having a EMP disruptor attached to it, and it's right arm having a large laser machine gun mounted to it, a red energy coil beginning to rapidly spin inside as the gun charged up and prepared to fire, aiming directly at Dan. Immediately, Martin recognized the machines design.

"IT'S A FUCKING WOLFENSTEIN ROBOT! DAN, GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Not needing to be told twice, Dan's smart side of his brain, even if it was tiny, immediately took command as he jumped right out of the way, as the machine unleashed a hail of laser bolts, leaving visible scorch marks on the ground. Meanwhile, Mario wormed his way out from under the pod door, and ran with Dan to cover, as Badger raised his minigun up, its barrel begining to rapidly spin.

"LET'S MOW EM DOWN BOYS!" The minigun unleashed a hail of bullets, the ponies covering their ears as the munition barely even made a dent in the machines armor, pinging and bouncing off in all directions. The large robot quickly turned its attention to Badger, aiming its laser cannon at him and firing off several rounds, as Badger dropped the minigun and ducked into cover, narrowly dodging the lasers. "Fuck, armor's too thick!" Cue Heavenly pulling out his Super shotgun, and quickly running up and behind the mech.

"Eat shells, bitch!" He fired off two shotgun rounds directly into it's back, actually doing somewhat noticeable damage, quickly getting the mech's attention as it's top part quickly swiveled around as it aimed its laser, which Heavenly was quick to avoid. The machine slowly emitted sounds of beeping and whirring, as it scanned for targets, before locking onto Grouse, who was currently holding his M4 assault rifle, as he began pelting it's eye with bullets, dis-orienting it while Bing took aim with his grenade launcher, firing off a shot directly at the bots side, as it burst and knocked off some armor plating.

"Bam, hit em right on!" Cue the machine quickly turning, however, it did not fire its main gun, rather a large ball of red crackling electricity and plasma was slowly forming in it's left mounted cannon. "Ah shit." As it fired it off towards Bing, he quickly dodged out of the way, as the plasma ball stopped in mid air, and began to violently shake. "EMP! GET DOWN!" Everyone and everypony ducked for cover as the plasma burst out in a large wave.

As Bing loaded another grenade from cover, Twilight and Pinkie lept out of cover, as Pinkie grasped Twilight's tail with a wide smile on her face and began to spin it rapidly, having learned this trick from the changeling attack, laughing maniacally as Twilight's horn charged up and began unleashing a constant barrage of magic blasts, dis-orienting the machine as the humans watched in awe.

"Bloody hell, she's a magic machine gun!" Jeremy said as Skulker proceeded to record it for research purposes. Bing simply blue screened from how this made no sense, and the other ponies just accepted it, as Rainbow took to the skies, and bolted for the robot, pointing her front hooves forward as she crashed right into the machines eye, shattering it on impact, as the machine made distorted noises similar to that of pain, as it stumbled back, and began to fire its gun at random, spinning randomly. Rainbow quickly dodged the stray shots and got back into cover, as Bing saw his chance, and launched another grenade right at the machines feet, and as it detonated, the machines feet were left, as it stumbled back, and barely managed to keep its footing, as it's top chassis began to spin rapidly, firing at everything in sight, as Pinkie and Twilight ducked back into cover.

"This is fun!"

"No, it is not, Pinkie, it is dangerous!"

"Yeah, I know that silly! But who said danger can't be fun?" Cue Grouse slightly chuckling.

"I like the way you think, Pinkie! Now, Badger, ya got that launcher?" Cue Badger nodding, as he fumbled through his pockets before comedically pulling the long javelin launcher out of his small ass pocket, as Heavenly passed him a rocket and he loaded it.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" And with the pull of the trigger, the missile went soaring through the air, right into the back of the spinning robot, as its top half detonated in a large explosion, leaving only its decimated lower half, which collapsed to the ground as everyone cheered, except for Applejack.

"Wait a sec... There were three pods... Ah buck." As if on cue, the doors on the other two remaining pods burst open, as two more robots slowly stomped out.

"DESTROY ALL TARGETS." Cue everyone panicking, as Clarkson got an idea.

"GET TO THE CAR!" Cue James objecting.

"But it's busted!" Rainbow dash quickly responded by flying over to said car, which was currently on it's side from the drop pod impact, and pushing it over.

"Looks fine to me, everypony in!" Cue everyone comedically packing themselves into the vehicle, with Mario riding on the roof as Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Discord with their wings all helped move the vehicle as Clarkson started the engine.

"Where are we even going!?!" Hammond shouted, confused until Twilight announced an idea.

"We gotta get to the castle, the princesses can help us!"

"Alright, Clarkson, to the castle!"

"On it!" And with that, Clarkson put the pedal to the metal as the electric car sped off towards the castle, the robots in hot pursuit, even if they did move slow.

Canterlot Castle Gate

"Move it men, c'mon, let's hustle!" Rimmy shouted to his human troops as they marched out the gate rapidly, all clutching their weapons and moving in formation. Some of them were riding in humvee's, spawned thanks to the zeus powers of Rimmy, even if they were limited in this world. In the lead humvee rode Rubix, Soviet, Digby, and Tails, as they lead the troops out. Luna was honestly quite impressed with the dislay.

"We must admit, you humans are very well organized and militaristic."

"It's just part of the resume, Luna, were trained for stuff like this, urban combat is our specialty." As the soldiers marched, the sound of tire screeching could be heard, as Rimmy pulled out his binoculars and looked ahead, only to see a chrome vehicle rapidly speeding towards them. "LOOK OUT!" As everyone moved rapidly to get out of the way of the speeding vehicle, it came to a sudden stop, as Celestia eyed Twilight and her friends inside the vehicle.

"Twilight!"

"Celestia!" Twilight quickly burst out of the vehicle, followed by her pony and human comrades. The soldiers were surprised to see badger and his friends, even more surprised when Mario jumped in front of them. Rimmy had a look of surprise on his face, looking at the group.

"So you must be the other humans?" Badger slowly nodded.

"Yep, names Therussianbadger, but right now, we can save the introductions for later, cause this city is being besieged by fucking death robots." Martin nodded his frog head.

"Yeah, fucking wolfenstein robots sent by Kevin to attack the city, we gots to go." Rarity rapidly nodded to confirm Martin's statement.

"Indeed, it was most dreadful, they are ruining everything!"

"Welp, sounds like we got our work cut out for us, boys!" Rimmy clapped his hands together, as Rubix cheered.

"Finally some action!" Cue Womble pumping his fist while Digby gave the command to attack.

"Everyone, charge to battle, and to victory!" Every soldier saluted, as they rushed to the battlefield that was Canterlot's central square, as the ponies followed, with Badger and his human compatriots piling back into the electric car and speeding to war.

Meanwhile, Kevin watched all of this with one of his miniature drones, and smiled, as he pressed a button on his chair as a radio activated.

"Yes, commander?"

"Launch the Zitadelle."

Act 1, Chapter 8: Beeg Robo-Bot Battle

Canterlot City Streets

Explosions and gunfire echoed throughout the city streets, as ponies ran around screaming in panic and terror, looking for cover and places to hide from the two metal behemoths assailing the city. Luckily, the machine's poor aim resulted in them being unable to cause any casualties, but the same could not be said for damage to the city, as it was highly extensive, with large smoking craters and cracked structures, along with broken glass and smoldering rubble littering the streets.

A new sound filled the streets however, as the loud roaring of the Top Gear electric car speeding down the road could be heard, tires screeching as it rapidly raced towards the danger, followed by three military jeeps of varying insignia, one of them having Quail of the Ignis Corp manning the gun, as Rubix spoke to him from the front passenger seat.

"Alright Quail, remember to go for the big red eyes!"

"Roger that!" In another Jeep, this one being marked with the symbol of ZF, Womble was chatting with Cyanide.

"Remember, civilian casualties to a minimum!"

"No promises." As Womble facepalmed, the third jeep of the group, carrying the insignia of the Cadian XXth, had Commissar Digby manning the turret, while Rimmy took the wheel.

"Alright boys, time to kick some robo baddies outta this city!"

"FOR THE EMPEROR!" As the three military jeeps sped down the street, multiple other squads of soldiers, both human and pony, ran down the road rapidly, with Celestia and Luna following close behind the Jeeps as they flew through the air. Soon, the electric car was in the sights of the two bots, as they slowly turned towards the rapidly speeding vehicles, and fired their cannons, the car rapidly swerving to dodge. Taking her chances, Rainbow launched herself from the car towards one of the bots, and kicked it right in its center torso, sending it stumbling back as it re-adjusted its balance.

During it's dis-orientation, the three military jeeps arrived, and Cyanide, seeing its confusion as an opportunity, fired upon the bot, while the other two jeeps provided covering fire. Rimmy quickly dis-embarked, taking out his bolter pistol and firing at the robots, it's heavy firepower leaving noticeable dents in the machines. "EAT BOLTGUN, HERETIC MACHINE!"

Digby also pulled out his bolter pistol, firing both the machine gun and Bolter at the same time, looking like a total badass.
"SUFFER NOT THE ALIEN TO LIVE!"

As Quail fired his machine gun, Rubix dismounted alongside Tails, Forge, and Iron, moving quickly into cover while firing their M4 assault rifles. "Go go, shoot em up!"

"These robots are from freakin wolfenstein, what the fuck!?!"

"This truly is a crossover of the century."

"At least logi isn't involved."

"DO NOT EVEN MENTION THE DARK ONES." The ZF crew also dismounted, as Cyanide provided covering fire for Womble and Nevil to move up, taking aim and firing. Twilight quickly hopped out of the electric car alongside all of her pony and human friends, except the Top Gear hosts, who huddled up inside the car, as Applejack turned back to them.

"Aren't ya gonna fight?" Cue them all shaking their heads.

"No, we would rather not get shot."

"Indeed, dying is not on today's agenda."

"Nor any other day's agenda." Applejack shrugged as she ran beside her friends, as Rarity and Twilight began firing off magic lasts from their horn, while Martin pulled out dual akimbo pistols and fired at the machine. The badger gang were busy taking cover, as they were working with a couple Cadian soldiers to set up a motar.

"Time to rain down some explosive death upon the face of our doomed enemies." Bing yelled, as Skulker played the 'Shatter Their Sky!' sound effect from Total War. As Grouse began to load the first mortar shell, a stray cannon shot flew over his head.

"HOLY SHIT-" Heavenly then proceeded to take Skulker's data pad and stare at the map.

"Bruh this map ain't mini anymore, it's just map. Anyways, fire away!" Grouse saluted as he fired the first mortar shell right down on top of the one of the machines, blowing off some of it's top mounted armor, exposing its weakly armored central computer, as Rimmy saw his chance and fired a precision Bolter shot, landing right in the center of the machine's exposed head, as it erupted in explosive fire, bursting into flames.

"Direct hit!" Meanwhile, the other robot had stomped right over to where the ponies were taking cover, as it stood over them and raised it's cannon, aiming and ready to fire, before it's cannon was covered in a golden hue of magic, as Celestia was there, holding the cannon in a magical grip, while Luna lept into the air, covering her horn in magic as she rammed full speed into the machine, skewering it's side as it lost it's balance again, while Discord decided to splash some chocolate milk on it's eye, further dis-orienting it.

Taking the initiative, Quail took aim and proceeded to completely unleash a hail of bullets at the weakened bot, leaving several bullet holes in it's armor, even taking out key components, while the rest of the soldiers continued to provide covering fire, some of them shooting at the mech's legs, hoping to weaken them.

To add insult to injury, Applejack and Rainbow nodded to each other, as they both rushed towards the machine, as Rainbow dash put her forehooves forward and Applejack reared up her legs, as they both collided with machine, knocking it to the ground on it's back.

"ERROR, ERROR, DOES NOT COMPUTER."

As the chocolate milk on its eye vanished, it saw Martin standing over it with a grenade launcher. "Compute this, you filthy casual." And he launched a grenade right through the machine's eye, jumping off it as the robot exploded into pieces. Cheering erupted as the soldiers and ponies celebrated.

Kevin's Super Secret Evil Base

As the feed form the final battle bot cut out, Kevin rose from his command seat in anger, as he screamed. "Darn darn darn darny darn!" On cue, one of his assistants brought him a folding chair, as he proceeded to kick it multiple times, including into the assistant's poor crotch, as he fell to the ground in pain, before Kevin returned to kicking the chair, then picking it up and chucking it at a fleeing assistant. "JERRY!"

On cue, the head engineer emerged, saluting. "Yes, overlord?"

"Is the Zittadelle ready?"

"Yes, sir."

"Launch it."

"Understood, sir."

As the Engineer rushed off into the elevator, Kevin smiled, as he looked back to the screen, showing the view of a nearby recon drone present within the city. "I've got you right where I want you, Martin..."