First Steps

by KwirkyJ

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Equestria Girls, Adagio Dazzle, Suicide / Self Harm, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 1040

After the Battle of the Bands Adagio's world was shattered, and she was not equipped to even look for the pieces. Sunset Shimmer is there to help.

Autumn is a season of transition…

This is an entry in Second Chances competition hosted by Sunset Shimmer X EG/MLP Villains Shippers's Group and Competitions.

Set as a spiritual sequel to Amphorae, by David Bryant – familiarity with that story is not required.

Published 2022-04-08 09:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-04-08 09:00:00 UTC

Carotenoids

The air was crisp with the first flavors of fall. Summer's humidity had been beaten back, and with its absence the first tips of tree leaves dared to orange. Birds and insect still sang and flitted between the trunks, as overhead low, whipped cumulus clouds raced above the rolling wooded mountains.

The mulch path crunched beneath two pairs of shoes as two girls trod upwards towards the overlook. They were quiet, listening to nature and the sounds of their breath and their passage.

Off in the distance a waterfall could be heard. Farther still, the drone of traffic, or the rumble of passenger jets far, far above.

Adagio's breathing became noticeably ragged, and Sunset put a hand on her shoulder.

"You holding up? I don't think the bench is much farther, but do you need a break?"

Adagio shook her head, shoulders slumped, not making eye contact. "Just a little further, you say?"

"Catch your breath first, okay?"

Another shake of the head. "Sure. Fine."

"I'm more than a little impressed you made it this far without a break. These mountains may not look like much, but it's something like over a thousand feet rise from the trailhead. And it's not like you—"

"You're trying to help, but it isn't working."

Sunset gave a defeated sigh. "Okay. Just let me know when you're ready."

"Let's go now… See this 'unbelievably breathtaking' overlook of yours."

Sunset was hesitant to let her set off, with Adagio's breathing still being forced, but decided it wasn't worth arguing. They'd arrive soon, she was pretty sure.

She still wanted to finish her thought from earlier, so she tried again as they were walking: "I've been running around for months, between band and fighting magical monsters, I've gotten more than my share of cardio and lung exercise."

"I get it," Adagio said, eyes sliding over but still failing to land. "It still doesn't help me feel better."

"Maybe not, but you know better, right?"

It was several steps before Adagio answered. "Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, we're here. Just around this bend, see the trunks thinning?"

Adagio's glance followed where Sunset was pointing. "Hm," was all she said, between her labored breaths.

Over the next hundred yards, the path grew quickly ever brighter as tree trunks were left behind and no more rose to take their place. In a moment, the two stood on a small clear bluff overlooking a wide canyon between the neighboring mountains. The woods behind them provided a cloister to the bluff, creating a small sheltered pocket to sit before nature's amphitheater. Conifers and deciduous trees alike carpeted the rolling slopes as mottled shadows cut from clouds raced across the canvas. A keen eye could make out roads, power lines, and private residences nestled on distant surfaces.

Adagio promptly sat in the bench, and Sunset quickly joined her, only a couple hand-spans away.

It was some time before either spoke. Several long minutes passed as they took in the sights and sounds and smells of the place… an autumnal jewel one could step inside.

"I know it's beautiful," Adagio said. "I can tell you what I see and what I think, but I just don't. Feel. Anything. No, that's not right, because I do feel something: sadness. Crushing, all-encompassing sadness, a deep wellspring of apathy, and endless shame. Because you went through all this trouble to bring me out here, to show me all this, and all I can do is slow you down and tell you I can't feel how great this place should make me feel."

Sunset reached out to take Adagio's hand, which had been driving a thumb into the hairline of a scar across her wrist. "Adagio, there's no should about feeling. I'd be elated if this made you happy, but you know what? I'm just as glad that you can feel sad about it. Because that tells me you want to get better. That you are getting better."

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"What would you know!" Adagio erupted from the bench, angry tears flashing.

Immediately, she imploded, horrified and embarrassed and disgusted with herself, her scowl turning haunted as she shrank. "How... I... All my life, I knew I was the most important thing in existence... I knew it because I never once had a single thought. They relied on me for everything. Now that I can think, now that I have to think, I can't stop. I hate it. I hate everything." Adagio had folded over herself, clutching at her sides. "What am I supposed to do? You and that princess took everything from me! And now you're trying to give me everything else? I can't stand it!"

She collapsed forward, sobbing. Sunset darted forward to catch her.

"How can you stand it? You should have just killed me. You should have let me die. It would have been less painful. And now here I am, cursing you for still trying to be my friend. Why do you care? How can you care? You should just let me die."

Sunset held her as she shook with sobs. "Because I choose to care. Because I did take everything from you, and that makes you my responsibility, if you want to think about it that way. But also because you may not have prospered, but you thrived, and your sisters thrived under you. You're a survivor. You always have been. You'll put yourself back together, and I want to be there to see how bright you shine when you do."

"I got your jeans dirty."

"I got my jeans dirty. It was worth it."

"I'm sorry, Sunset. I wish so much that I could just die."

"I know. I've been somewhere like that, too. You're stronger than this."

The shadow of clouds continued to roll over the carpet of flora as Sunset and Adagio sat sharing a bench in a cloister on a bluff. Adagio's eyes were still red, but they had dried. Sunset held Adagio's hand, careful to keep her fingers away from the wrist.

"We can stay here a little longer, right?"

Sunset nodded. "As long as you want."

"I just… I want a good look."

"As long as you want."