2+2=tomato

by Eventide100

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Twilight Velvet, Random, Shining Armor, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1102

Shining is soooo smart

Twilight is super smart. She can answer any math question. And she likes doing them right. So, she feels particularly annoyed when somepony else is making jokes about that. Especially when it is her brother.

Published 2022-04-21 13:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-04-21 13:20:00 UTC

1+1=tomato

"2+2=tomato!" Shining said.

Twilight smacked her hoof on her face. "You have got to be serious," she muttered.

Shining grinned at her. "But I'm right, aren't I?" He teased.

"NO YOUR NOT!!" Twilight barked as loud as she could with her quiet voice. "You're totally wrong. Why do you even bother to say that nonsense?"

Shining grinned, "because it's funny!"

Twilight scowled, "well, I think it's not. So would you please stop?"

Shining regarded her carefully and then opened his mouth with a sigh. Twilight smiled, 'finally' she thought.

"2+2=tomato!" Shining piped.

"Uuuugggggghhhhhhh! What is wrong with you?" she groaned helplessly. She glared at her brother. "It doesn't even make any sense. How can numbers be equal to a tomato?"

"According to Twily-nana arithmetic's!" He responded leisurely.

"Twily-nana arithmetic's!?" Twilight parroted petulantly. "What is that?"

"The altered form of your brain. Meaning wiser and knowledgeable," Shining said.

Twilight stared at him with a flaggerbasted look. "Wiser? Knowledgeable? What type of world do you live in!?"

Shining shrugged. "Same one you live in, duuhhh," he responded.

Twilight gave him a wary look. "Really? she asked, "you don't sound like it."

"but still! 2+2=tomato!"

Twilight scowled. "No. It. Doesn't." she growled.

"Honestly, sis. You really need to brighten up. Why wouldn't you joke with me?" Shining asked.

Twilight regarded this for a minute, was she not taking a joke? But this one didn't make any sense. "This joke is just nonsense though," she said stubbornly.

Shining rolled his eyes. "but I told you, it makes sense according to the Twily-nana arithmetic's," he said.

Twilight smacked her forehead with her hoof. "What even is 'Twily-nana arithmetic's'?" she hissed under her breath. Seriously though. Twily-nana arithmeic's? What in Equestria?

"Didn't I tell you what it means? Can I repeat it? Okay, so basically-!"

"BE QUIET!!!" Twilight barked, cutting him off. "You just have an IQ of negative ten!"

Shining stared at her. And then his snout scrunched up with a teary face. "Twily? How could you say that?" he sobbed. "I'm telling mom."

Twilight's heart dropped. "What! Shining, wait!" but he ran off towards their house.

Eyes widened, Twilight ran after him.

They bust through the door and headed to the kitchen where their mother was making lunch.

Velvet noticed her children and turned to face them with a smile on her face. "Shining, Twilight, I'm glad your home. Lunch is almost ready and I was about to call you but I guess this made it more convenient!"

Shining stopped to breathe. Twilight yelped out first. "Mom, Shining is going to say something but don't lis-!"

"Mom, Twily said that I have an IQ of negative ten!" Shining whined.

Velvet's eyes widened before turning to level a stern glare at her daughter. "Twilight? Don"t be mean to your brother," she scolded.

Twilight glared back at her mother. "But mom, he wasn't making sense! He was bothering me by saying that 1+1=tomato!" she complained. Velvet turned her eyes on her son.

Shining quickly sputtered out a reply. "Mom, I was just joking. Twily just doesn't take jokes lightly."

Velvet looked back at Twilight. "Twilight, your brother was just joking around with you. That doesn't give you an excuse to be mean to him," Velvet said.

Twilight deeply felt like smacking her brother's totally, unnoticeable, small smirk. Why wasn't her mom looking at that!? Why was that stern face directed at the filly? "Mom!" Twilight growled. "2+2 is not equal to a tomato!"

Velvet's brows shot upwards with an half-amused-half-surprised look. "2+2=tomato?" she parroted. And then Velvet began to chuckle. "Twilight, that's just silly!"

Twilight gave her a flat scowl. 'Did she honestly just process that? I said that like five seconds ago,' outwardly, she said "Really? You're laughing at that too? It's not that funny. It just doesn't make sense," she argued.

Velvet's smile didn't go, much to Twilight's annoyance. "But Twilight, it's just a joke," she exclaimed.

Twilight felt her blood boil. "Okay then," she seethed. "If he really wants to joke about something, then he can come up with a different joke. One that isn't related to math and numbers because those ones bother me a lot."

Velvet regarded this for a moment. Then she let out a sigh.

Twilight wondered what type of sigh that was. Was it a okay-Shining-don't-make-up-math-jokes-before-your-sister sigh or a Twilight-you-really-have-to-stop-caring-about-studies-for-at-least-a-moment-and-seriously-brighten-up sigh?

The result though, sounded like a mix of both.

"Alright," Velvet said with a sorely giving-up-arguing-with-a-child-because-it's-pointless tone. "Don't say weird things about school subjects with your sister. You need to consider how much she cares for things that are more realistic sounding," Velvet said with a half-lidded-eyed look.

'gee, as in I'm too stupid to find the sarcasm mom,' but Twilight could clearly make out the fact that Velvet spoke those words because she had to. The real statement is "Twilight. Your a sore loser." That was the truth that her mother wouldn't speak.

"Anyways, you both head to the dining table. I'll be there in a moment," she said.

Her kids obeyed and went to the dining room.

As soon as they were out of the kitchen, Twilight whirled around to face her brother. "Thanks for the humiliation," she snapped.

Shining shooted back a victorious, smug face. "Well, you earned it. For always being the smart child that made me feel like I actually do have an IQ of negative ten."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "It's not my fault, that you don't read books. I mean, the library is just there," she hissed.

Shining just shrugged her off and sauntered over to a chair and took his seat. Twilight followed after and climbed on one beside him.

A long quiet moment passed.

At last, Shining's voice broke the silence. "Hey, Twily?" he called.

Twilight came back to reality from her thoughts. She looked up to meet her brother's gaze. "Ya?"

"What's happened, has happened okay? Let's start over now," he said with a smile.

Twilight thought about this. Shining is her brother, and one of the very few ponies she could speak openly with. Twilight really feared the world. The ponies she didn't know scared her. They were all loud and uncomfortable. Twilight felt overwhelmed whenever she was surrounded by them.

So she smiled and nodded. "Okay."

"Can I tell you something then?" Shining asked.

Twilight nodded again.

Shining took in a deep breath before speaking.

"2+2=tomato!"

Twilight's brain halted. She leveled a glare at her brother, but then let out a defeated sigh.

"You know what? I give up."

Author's Note

Another random story that popped into my head.
Hope you like it!