I’m an average, twenty-something male fan of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and I used to be Rainbow Dash.
No, really. I’m definitely not crazy.
I just need to get this out, even if nopony (sorry, nobody) will ever read it. I’d probably be branded a nutcase and thrown into an asylum for the rest of my life if I’d start telling all my human friends that I was a pony. So, I will remain anonymous and still tell my story. Win-win!
I saw every single episode of the first two seasons, and even tried my hand at writing fan fiction for it. My favorite character of the mane six was Rarity, and like most I’m also a fan of Derpy/Ditzy (the name never bothered me), Luna and Trixie. I’ve read and skimmed over many Human-In-Equestria stories and, of course, a few times I wondered what it’d actually be like. But I didn’t wish on any falling stars or anything like that, oh no. It just happened out of the blue. Out of the blue, what a pun!
There’s far too much to tell, but the short version is this: I went to bed one night and, as far as I can tell, my human memories were locked away and I lived Rainbow Dash’s entire life from birth to death. I have over eight decades of her experiences in my mind, including great times with her five best friends, her husband and their two daughters, and at the end her last breath in a hospital bed surrounded by her three surviving friends (Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie) and her family.
And then I woke up the next day in my old bed, in my old life, with both sets of memories. I was so confused and shaken that I trembled and cried and beat my pillows with my fists for hours. Over eighty years had passed on one world, but it had only been one night on this one.
For days and weeks, I tried to go back to normal but everyone could tell that something was wrong. I brushed it off as not feeling good, but a few of my friends didn’t buy it. But, what could I tell them?
Oh, I lived an entire lifetime as a character from a cartoon. A female Pegasus, in fact, and I even had foals and I loved flying more than anypony! If I had wings I’d try to do a Sonic Rainboom as a human right now, if that’s even possible!
It wouldn’t be long before I’d have a straight-jacket forced on me after saying that, so I decided against it. But what could I do? What would Daring Do, do? Somehow, I don’t think she’d ever get into so messed up a situation as this!
I miss my wings. Sometimes I stare up into the sky for hours on end, remembering what it felt like to truly soar. I miss my friends and family and think about them every day. Luckily, in that case I can see some of them again just by simply putting in a DVD.
I’ve tried to keep Rainbow Dash and I separate, but I can’t. I am her, and she is me. But I wondered if I was ever really Rainbow Dash, or if my mind had just cracked and fried like an egg and I’ve gone completely and utterly insane, memories or not?
I’ve been trying to get back together with my human friends, I really have. It’s been over eighty years since I’ve really known them so it isn’t an easy task. But I’ve changed, and things aren’t ever going to be the same. I can’t even tell my My Little Pony-watching friends what happened to me, but they’ve noticed that I act completely different now. At one point, I nearly jumped out a window to fly until one of them noticed and pulled me back just in time.
The memories are so real and vivid that I have to be careful to not snap back into Rainbow Dash-mode, at least when I’m around anyone. The window incident was nearly a fatal disaster, but I managed to get away with that one by saying I was really tired.
I hate lying. It’s a good thing I’m not the Element of Honesty.
I watched the first two seasons over and over again. It’s a very different experience when I’m actually one of the main characters in it, and I must say that Equestria really does look like that. It’s a cartoon-looking world populated by colorful, talking ponies and many other creatures. The show is 100% accurate in every possible way to the real Equestria.
That is, if there was one. I still wasn’t convinced then that it wasn’t all some psychotic dream, despite having so many clear memories.
I consider myself asexual now. I just can’t see myself getting together with anyone after all that has happened. I can’t really describe myself with any easy terms, but I am a unique case. Night after night, I wished and prayed that I could go back to Equestria but the answer was always a firm no.
I miss my daughters, their kids and all of my friends. They are my family, and I’m never going to forget or replace them. Pinkie-promise… cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.
I do know now that I will see them all again, some day. I hoped to be reunited with Applejack, Fluttershy, my husband and so many others I’d lost after I died but I guess I have to live the rest of this life out first. I’m still not the same as I was before everything happened, and I’ll never be, but for the first time in months I actually feel alive.
Season Three has recently started airing. Of course, I already lived through what happened after the Royal Wedding a long time ago, but I still couldn’t be sure that I wasn’t nuts. If the episodes matched up to my experiences, I would finally know.
They did. Perfectly. I knew in advance what was going to happen in both parts of The Crystal Empire, and every other episode after that. I was watching the season premiere with some of my friends and at one point, I’d said some of Rainbow Dash’s lines before she spoke them on-screen. I couldn’t control the tears threatening to drip from my eyes. This was definite proof that everything that happened to me was real, and not just a delusion!
My friends were understandably freaked out a bit, but I can’t remember what I said to them. I was so full of joy that nothing else mattered.
Both sets of my friends wouldn’t want me wasting away in depression and self-pity as I’ve been doing for months, and almost immediately it was like a dark cloud lifted both over and inside of me. This life is also my life too, and it’s worth living.
Girls, it’ll be a little longer before I join you in The Great Pasture, or whatever it’s called, but I’ll be there and I’m sure Pinkie will be waiting ready with one of her parties.
It’s said that you should be careful what you wish for, and I guess that’s true most of the time. But I never really wished for this, yet it was given to me and I wouldn’t trade it away for anything. Even across two worlds, Friendship Is Magic.
I’m an average, twenty-something male fan of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and I am Rainbow Dash.
