Brave. Glorious. Beyond Your Comprehension.

by TheOnlySaneDraconequus

Rating: teen
Tags: Big Macintosh, Random, Discord, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Romance, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1061

It's just another typical morning in Canterlot for Alicorn Twilight Sparkle and her adopted Eldritch God Spike. Wait ... what?!

In her long career as an academic, Element of Harmony, and Ruler of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle has made many friends, but perhaps none are as unique as her adopted son, Spike. A baby Eldritch Horror, he keeps her on her toes.
But is anything ever what it seems?
An entry for the Experimental Category of the "A Thousand Words" contest.

Published 2022-04-10 06:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-04-10 06:40:00 UTC

"My Thousand Eyes Know Your Reading Habits..."

Twilight walked into the library of Canterlot Castle, her true home, the rest of the Castle just existed around it and regrettably had to be used.

“Spike?” she called.

The air darkened and a heavy presence filled the room. A purple mist appeared before her, filled with multiple fanged maws and rolling green eyes.

SPEAK AND BE HEARD, SEEKER OF KNOWLEDGE… A Voice spake directly into the Alicorn’s mind.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I just want a book to curl up with after a long day at work…”

Tentacles appeared, moving in and out of dimensions beyond the Alicorn’s ability to perceive.

ROMANCE? A HOW-TO BOOK? THE LATEST MAD SCIENTIST’S DIGEST? ONE OF THOSE WONDERBOLT FOLDOUT MAGAZINES YOU KEEP UNDER YOUR BED?

“H-how do you know about those?!” Twilight stammered.

I SEE EVERYTHING TWILIGHT… TIME AND SPACE ARE ONE IN ME…

Twilight gave a nervous chuckle. “Right…” Sometimes she forgot that she’d helped to raise an Eldritch Demigod. Though Spike had always proved himself incredibly useful to her and her friends. Twilight would never forget the day the baby Spike had torn his way out of a dead bird’s shadow… and looked at her with love in his hundreds of eyes before squeaking, Mama! It was an instant connection.

Back in the present as it was called by lower lifeforms with no real clue as to the true nature of things, Twilight said, “I guess just the latest Daring Doo…”

A technicolor swirl filled the room and a book was spat out of the void between worlds into her waiting hooves. Twilight’s eyes widened. “I don’t recognize this…”

IT WON’T BE RELEASED FOR ANOTHER FOUR YEARS, WHEN SHE COMES OUT OF RETIREMENT. I THOUGHT YOU’D LIKE A SNEAK PREVIEW; YOU’LL BE QUITE BUSY THAT WEEK…

“Oh. Thanks, that’s a very thoughtful gift!”

Spike didn’t have a face, but his expression was quite smug. I AM GOOD…

“Would you mind putting on a less horrifying manifestation?” Twilight asked before quickly closing her eyes. That didn’t block out the squelching sounds or the cracks of bones snapping into place.

You can look now, Twi…

Spike had put on his “handsome” Avatar, a sinfully gorgeous green and purple dragon. Every curve and plane of his body promised delights that would break your mind, his scales were polished to an oiled gleam, his muscles were chiseled as if from stone, his claws were mighty, his wings massive, his teeth painfully bright, his face supernaturally handsome, his voice a husky purr. This Avatar did cause mares and stallions to throw themselves at him, but it was better than driving them insane on sight. Spike was still a baby as Eldritch Horrors reckoned things, he only had so many Avatars to use.

“Got any plans for today?”

Spike shrugged. Just meeting the guys for an O&O session, I’ll put a bag over my head when I head out.

“Have fun!”

Spike did indeed cover his enchanting features; he’d learned the hard way to do that in this form. It didn’t prevent him from still seeing clearly in 12 dimensions.

Once he was a safe distance from any living thing, Spike ripped open a door in reality. It looked extremely organic, like he was crawling through something’s vein. Once on the other side Spike grinned when he saw his friends. Hey guys!

“Spike!” Shining Armor, Spike’s Uncle who was more of a Cool Older Brother tackled him in a hug. Well, he tried to. The white Unicorn simply bounced off the wall of muscles that made up Spike’s current physical form. Spike chuckled, picked the Unicorn up, and very, very gently hugged him. It still squeezed the air from Shining’s lungs.

Spike set his uncle down and turned to a red stallion. Hey Big Mac! The stallion nodded with a grin clearly showing.

Spike finally turned to a certain somepony. Don’t I get a hug?

A lanky brown Unicorn with a broken horn padded over to Spike and stood on his back legs to awkwardly give the “dragon” a hug. His cutie mark was a tornado in a swirl of colors, and his eyes were different colors, one a sunny yellow, one a cherry red. His mane and beard were black. “H-hey Spike…” he said softly.

Spike nuzzled the shy stallion. Hey, Discord.

Discord’s unfortunate name and cutie mark came from the fact he was so klutzy, he caused chaos wherever he went. He made basic physics weep. He’d never even had a friend before he moved to Ponyville and met Fluttershy.

Discord was also an impish prankster, and Spike had been instantly smitten when he and Twilight had first come to Ponyville. As an added bonus, Discord hadn’t run away screaming when they first met! They’d started dating once Spike got older, and during all of the crazy adventures the Elements had had together. Spike had even got Discord to come out of his shell. Mostly.

Am I going to DM again?

The other three males nodded eagerly, since Spike could bring the adventure to life.

They headed in and continued an epic tale of adventure and magic! Occasionally foiled by a spectacularly bad dice roll…

Spike didn’t sleep, but the others did, and so he eventually wound the night up for the early risers among the group.

Discord always tried to stay up late for him and tonight was especially eager to spend time with Spike.

As the clock began to chime midnight, the goofy stallion surprised him with a kiss. Spike felt … something flow out of him, and into the klutzy Unicorn, and the world seemed to momentarily turn inside out as reality reset itself.

Spike was coiled in the familiar embrace of his fluffy noodle of a coltfriend. Discord was grinning impishly. “So? What did you think? Enjoy a day on my level?”

Spike chuckled. “It was interesting, and it helped me know you better, but I think I’ll stick to just being me…”

Discord smiled. “I wouldn’t have you any other way...”

Author's Note

So, Discord and Spike didn't exactly switch places, but Spike became a kind of eldritch chaos being, and Discord became mortal.
Don't worry, they're the only two who know what happened, Twilight won't wake up insane.
Oooohhh, noooo! I put Dispike in here, whatever could have caused this?!