You are still wondering why you agreed to talk to Twilight about finding someone you would love. She does not have any experience with this stuff and it sounds silly to be taught by someone who has never been in a relationship themself. You guess she will just make a list and tell you some things she read in the books... You love that predictable part of her.

Wait. Do you consider her a potential partner? She always helped you, and she is a fine-looking mare, but... You feel more about her like a... Sister, or sibling who helps you. Not a lover. She does not strike you with any... Weird feelings... Maybe you are just not attracted by mares at all... Well, you aren’t gay, that’s for sure. But maybe looking at other creatures might prove more... right.

You kept thinking about the topic when you made your way into Twilight’s Castle. You stopped and pressed the doorbell. About ten seconds later Spike opened the door and greeted you.

“Nice to see you Anon. Twilight is in the map room with others.” Spike said while opening the door more to let you in.

“With others?” You asked confused.

“Yeah. You know, Pinkie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow.” He explained.

“I thought she wanted to talk to me alone...” You said while growing a bit concerned and embarrassed. Talking to one pony is okay, but six...

“You know Twilight. She asked them for help.” Spike finished while opening the door to the map room for you.

Everyone smiled as you entered. If earlier you were blushing, now you were completely red.

“Good to see you, everypony.” You greeted them.

“Hi, Anon!” Pinkie replied, and soon everyone else followed. After everyone was done with greetings Twilight began to point to one empty chair. You made your way around the ponies and sat down looking directly at Twilight.

“Twilight. I gotta say, I thought we would be talking alone. Not to, say I’m not pleased to see you all but...”

Rarity suddenly spoke before Twilight could do so.

“Darling, I know this is a bit embarrassing for you, and we are sorry if we are making you nervous but we all wanted, is to help you. And Twilight was skeptical about us talking with you too, but we thought you could use some more... Experienced ponies.”

“Alright, I understand. Thanks.” You said after shifting a bit in your chair. She is making a good point, Rarity had some experience in that department over the years. But others? You don’t know anything about their relationships.

“So, we thought that making a good starting point is in order. Anon. Please tell us what exactly you want from your special somepony.”

That’s a good question. What do you want?

“I guess... I would like to be with someone who does not care that I’m a human. You know, someone who does not judge a book by its cover.” You exclaimed.

“Um-hm. Go on.” Twilight encouraged you to continue as she noted in her notebook.

“I would like someone with... Well. How to put it... Experience? You know. Like. Someone, who does know what he is doing. Someone a bit older than me maybe?” You tried to explain.

“You are looking for a widow?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“No. No, not a widow. Someone who was alone as well, who could understand how I live.”

“Ah-ah...” Rainbow let out a sound of half understanding.

“What else? Maybe what should she/he look like?” Twilight asked.

“She. She positively. And... I mean... I’m not really sure. You see. I don’t have those feelings when I look at ponies and other creatures. I don’t find them attractive. Good looking yes, but not attractive.” You explained.

“So. Species difference... Tough nut to crack...” Twilight exclaimed.

“You never found any mare attractive? Even in the season?” Rarity asked.

“Season? Ah, you mean heat right? No, I don’ think I ever even got close to any mare... Well, maybe this one time but...” You began thinking back.

“But?” Rarity asked again.

“I... Well... There was this one time. It was two months ago when I visited Canterlot for the anniversary of my coming to Equestria, the same day I missed the party. And well. One thing led to another and I ended up talking to Princess Celestia in her chambers. She agreed to let me watch the horizon because I asked her, and we ended up talking for hours.” You exclaimed.

Everyone in the room became silent as they watched you. Sheer shock in their eyes.

“You, been on a date with Princess Celestia?!” Rarity questioned.

“What!? No. We were just talking.” You replied.

“But. Why in her chambers?!” Twilight asked.

“Because I asked to watch the landscape and she took me to the highest tower, and that was her chambers.” You explained.

“But... Didn’t she had any duties to attend to?” Twilight asked again.

“She said that it does not matter, and her actions are not important, so she decided to take a break and talk with me.” You explained to the purple mare.

“What did you talk about?” Applejack asked curiously.

“I don’t remember. I think... About family and... How I grew up. Why?” you questioned.

“Anon, Darling... How should I put this... You were on a date.” Rarity exclaimed.

“Really? I didn’t feel like date to me... Sure I had fun but...” You started to wonder. Were you on a date with Princess Celestia?

They stopped helping you with finding love and instead started to ask the question about the princess and you. It made you realize that Princess Celestia was more than just a ruler. But there was still one thing to consider...

“Guys... I could not even think of her as a potential partner! She is A RULER of the entire country. I don’t even have a job!” You answered.

“Anon, Darling. You need to ask her out. She might be a ruler, but she is also a mare. And if Twilight is right. She was never in love. Never. As you said, she is both older then you, more experienced and she understands many different creatures. Give it a try.” Rarity suggested.

“Easy to say. I know you want to help but this could ruin me entirely!” You answered

“Like how?” Pinkie curiously said.

“He is scared he will be rejected.” Applejack exclaimed.

“That’s okay Anon. The effort is what matters...” Fluttershy added.

“I’m not scared of being rejected. I’m scared because she could make me a laughing stock for my entire life!” You finally answered.

Everyone started laughing after hearing that. That was both embarrassing and annoying, why are they laughing at you?! We were prepared to leave but Twilight stopped you with her magic.

“Anon, wait. Don’t be mad at us. We weren’t laughing at you!” She explained.

“And what were you laughing then!?” You asked angrily.

“Princess Celestia would never, ever make you feel bad. Believe me.” Twilight explained. ‘’I don’t know if she would accept you, but... I also want to see you both happy. Especially you, after you told me some stories about your past I realized you have never been in a better situation than you are right now. Please think about it.”

Somehow, you knew she is telling the truth. Princess Celestia was kind enough to drop the title when being with you. So there is no chance she would act like a bully. Still. Dating a ruler of the country is exactly the opposite of what you imagined your life would be. You need to think about it, most precisely tonight, with some whiskey. A lot of whiskey...

Later that night.

More you think about it. The crazier it gets. Does this count as bestiality? Do you even have a choice being the only human out there? You always recognized ponies the same as humans. But something about it does not feel right. Like... You can’t really grasp what it would feel like to kiss or have sex with somepony.

You read some documentaries about dolphin trainers going wild with their partners once back on earth. And you thought that it's just inappropriate even if both sites clearly love each other. But does it really count as bestiality? Those ponies are not normal animals... You thought about it for hours now. Getting drunk did not help. In the end, you just fall asleep on your couch and didn’t remember half of what you noted yesterday.

In the morning you decided to search for answers. And it made you realize you need to go to the library. And after searching you found a handful of books about the topics you decided to investigate. Anatomy, psychology, socialization, history, different creatures' behavior. You studied.

Books piled in your house as you brought more and more. You never would even imagine how absurd amounts of information those books held. It also made you realize that ponies are not humans. They are different, they feel different, look different have different socialization, they don’t even think like humans. Part of why does this world have energy but there’s no pollution. Ponies think about what will happen in 10,20,100 years. They have cutie marks that construct the basics of their culture and economy. A pony with a gift for cooking does not go into economy and trading. He leaves it for ponies that specialize in that department.

You spend a couple of days researching those topics. It seemed like even though you had been here two years now, you knew nothing about how their world operates. And if you think about it. You know exactly why.

You never had time. It was always: work/home/sleep and repeat. Now when you have so much free time, there is a simpler answer. This world does not operate the same as yours. It has its own rules and it seems like you used your world rules to adjust yourself. From now on. You should use theirs.

Today you start a new life. For real this time, no more hard work that does not lead anywhere. You will do what you find worth your time. And you will find someone you will love, and it does not matter if that’s a pony or a rock. If it loves you back, you will be happy. And that led you to another conclusion.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” - (Norman Vincent Peale) you recalled.

“I’m going to ask the ruler of this country, Princess Celestia. To be my girlfriend! Even if she says no, I will be happy I tried!” You spoke without hesitation. You don’t think she would even be interested in someone like you, but that will boost your confidence anyway. You are doing it purely for gathering more confidence in yourself.

As you decided, you thought about a short plan.

“First, you will ask her if she would be kind enough to visit the gardens with you. Wait... Before that, you will give her something. A gift... Flowers? No. You are already going to the gardens with her... What would she like...” You started to tell your plan out loud.

You remembered her saying she liked cake when you were talking with her that day.

“Okay. Again... First I will go get a cake. A chocolate one. Everyone loves chocolate. Then, I will ask her out. Then, I will compliment her for a good measure. And then I will strike!” You stated before bursting into an evil laugh.

You need to stop drinking so much whiskey...

Author's Note

I know what I said earlier. Next one... Next one...

[Not edited by anyone except me]