Author's Note
This was written for a contest. We had 75 minutes to write a story with no preparation and every 15 minutes we got a random new rule we had to follow. WARNING: VERY SILLY =P
Thanks to the Quills and Sofas discord server for making this possible.
Ready, Set, Go!
Bridlewood was coming back to life, and Izzy Moonbow couldn’t be happier. Random bolts of magic wooshed through the air as excited unicorns tried to teach themselves all the spells their ancestors had once known.
Of course, it was rather messy in the meantime.
“Watch out!” cried a passerby, and Izzy ducked just in time as a bright light bounced off of several crystals in quick succession.
“Good one!” she replied.
But as Izzy straightened up and looked out again on the sea of unicorns running about, she saw one pony she didn’t know. Come to think of it, she wasn’t a unicorn at all! Ooh! An Earth Pony! She looks fun.
Izzy trotted over to her and tried her usual greeting. “Hi, new-”
The pink stranger took in a great gasp of air, apparently shocked.
“Oh, don’t worry!” Izzy interrupted. “I know what you’re thinking-”
“Who are you?!” yelped the stranger in a sudden burst of excitement. “This must be what it was like when Twilight came to Ponyville. I’m the party planner but suddenly I know nopony, I mean nopony!”
“Well, yeah!” said The Lavender Unicorn. “Not a lot of earth ponies have been to Bridlewood before.”
The pink one starred again. “Wait…are you The Lavender Unicorn?!”
“What? I mean, I am purple I guess, but-”
“No no no! I mean your name in the narration! It just shorted out!”
The Lavender Unicorn tried to smile knowingly. “Um…I’m not sure what you mean-”
“Wait wait, let me try! Ok, um, so when The Lavender Unicorn first came to Ponyvi-ohmigosh, it happened again! Hey, the Narrator! What’s the big idea?”
It’s part of a Writing Contest, Pink One. I’m being given random rules as I go.
“Yeah, but now we have two lavender unicorns! My lavender unicorn is gonna have to be The Unicorn Formerly Known as Lavender! Wow, what a mouthful.”
Just then the phone rang, which The Lavender Unicorn found incredibly interesting, since Bridlewood didn’t have any phones.
“It’s for you!” said the Pink One, grabbing the receiver from offscreen.
“ ‘Offscreen’?? What is this, a screenplay?”
Possibly.
“Um, hello?” said The Lavender Unicorn-
-”I think we should call her Lavender 2: Electric Boogaloo!” said Interrupter Jones.
“Sweetie, is that you?” said a voice through the phone.
“Mom??” said The Lavender Unicorn.
The Pink One donned a pair of sunglasses and tried to do a movie trailer voice “Lavender 2: This Time, It’s Personal."
The Lavender UnicornLavender 2: The Wrath of KHAAAAAAAN! looked back and forth from the Pink One to the phone. “Uh, hi mom! When did you get a phone?”
“Oh, I just borrowed one from Pipp, honey. You know she has several.”
“Ok, well I have another question: When did I get a phone?”
“Never mind about that, dearie! I was calling to ask if you’ve seen my black socks.”
“Socks?”
“Yes! They’re all the rage these days and I can’t go to the gala without them.”
“Gala!” said Interrupter Pink. “You mean the Grand Galloping Gala? In Canterlot?”
“Of course!” said The Mother of The Lavender Unicorn. “Where else would it be?”
The Lavender Unicorn grabbed at the phone. “Mom, how are you in Canterlot?”
“That’s actually a good question” said Izzy’s momAw, what?? You changed the rules again, didn't you?! Meanie!, suddenly at a loss for words.
“Hey, ask if she fell through a time portal!” said Pinkie.
“Mom, did you uh…fall through a portal by any chance?”
“Well now that you mention it, there was a strange swirling color inside the closet. Does that mean anything to you?”
“Mom! That’s magic stuff!”
“Starlight!” said Pinkie, looking at nopony in particular. “Up to your old tricks again, I see!”
Pinkie grabbed the phone from Izzy. “Don’t worry, Mrs. The Lavender Unicorn Episode Five: The Crystal Empire Strikes Back! Izzy and me are on the case!”
She tossed the receiver offscreen and it suddenly vanished from existence.Spoooky! Then she took Izzy’s face in her hooves. “Izzy, I’ve got some bad news: Your mom is in the closet! But don’t worry. We can get her out of the closet and get her dressed for Gala and she will be the fanciest lesbian pony you’ve ever seen and your dad will totally understand. Are you with me?!”
Izzy’s smile was getting increasingly confused. “Um…sure.”
“Then let’s go!”
They raced back to Izzy’s house-
“With random magical explosions in the background!”
Yes. That. Anyway.
They raced to the closet door and threw it open with a flourish. Inside they discovered a blinding bright swirl of blues and greens.
“Oh, Izzy!” said a nasaly voice from the right, behind the coats. “Who’s your friend? Listen, I was looking for your mother and I found what appears to be a time portal.”
Pinkie’s hooves went to her heart as she gasped. “Izzy! Your dad is in the closet too? That’s super convenient! Group hug!”
She grabbed both of them and leaned forward. In a flash they were all tumbling through the time portal to Canterlot.
“So just to be clear!” shouted Izzy over the roaring vortex- “My mom went to Canterlot in the past and called me on a time-phone?”
“That’s about it!” shouted Pinkie as a large (and oddly familiar) blue box rocketed past them in the other direction.
“And who are you?”
“Oh right! I’m Pinkie Pie! I’m from the future!"
You mean the past.
“The past? Oh right the past! Even spookier!”
Izzy’s dad chimed in. “Well in a technical sense you could say that everything is from the past so I don’t know if that’s really all that spooky compared to-”
“Look out!”
They burst through the edge of whatever spacetime vortex they were in and tumbled onto the streets of Canterlot. Izzy took a moment to get her bearings and dropped her jaw open in shock.
“Where are we?”
“Canterlot! Didn't you hear the narrator? Now come on! Your mom needs socks!”
Pinkie raced ahead and her companions tried to keep up. They dodged ponies left and right. Suddenly Izzy looked off to the side and noticed her mom at a distance.
“She’s over there!”
Pinkie spun around to see Izzy’s mom apparently flirting with Prince Blueblood.
“No no no! You’ve got to be honest with yourself!”
Pinkie tackled Prince Blueblood and knocked him offscreen.
“Goodness!” said Izzy’s mom (who still hadn’t been named yet!).
“Izzy!” she said, as the narrator basked in the ability to use commas once again, “Did you find my socks?”
“Um, well, I can probably just knit you some. I am pretty crafty, after all. But, uh…Mom?”
“Hm?” said Izzy’s mom (as Pinkie and Prince Blueblood wrestled in the background).
“So…my friend tells me that you’re in the closet. Is that true?”
Lydia Moonbow (finally!) was taken aback. “Izzy, I…well, that is to say…”
“It’s alright” said Daniel Moonbow as he approached. “If it makes it any easier…I can go first. I’m in the closet.”
“I know” said Lydia with a sigh. “I’ve known for a long time. And it’s ok, darling. You don’t have to hide yourself anymore.”
They embraced while Izzy looked on.
“As a matter of fact” said Lydia, “I was hoping to pair you up with a date tonight.” She gestured to Pinkie and Blueblood, who promptly stopped wrestling.
“What?!?” they both yelped.
“Oh come now, Blueblood,” said Lydia, “did you really think you were fooling anyone?”
Blueblood got to his feet and stammered. “But, but….but my reputation, the other ponies here-”
“If racist ponies of the future can learn to accept all kinds, I’m sure that homophobic ponies of the past can do the same. Now I have an eligible stallion right here and I think you two would be perfect for each other. I was hoping to get some black socks for him to wear, but, well…what do you say?”
Blueblood and Daniel looked deep into each other’s eyes. “Yes” they finally said.
Izzy hugged her dad and wept with joy. “Have fun, Dad. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“I’ll see you soon, sweetie. Thank you. Thanks to all of you, so much.”
Daniel and Blueblood walked toward the Gala’s main doors.
“Super terrific!” said Pinkie, “That worked out really well!”
“What about you, Mom?” said Izzy. “Are you, uh…you know…”
“I am” said Lydia with a gentle smile. “But don’t worry about me.”
Lydia looked over her shoulder as Twilight Sparkle approached. “I already have a date.”
“Ohmigosh!” squealed Pinkie, “The original Lavender Unicorn! It’s a match made in heaven!!”
After much hugging and crying the lovely lesbian couple walked off to the Gala.
“Wow” said Izzy. “I never knew a silly story could be so heartfelt.”
“Hey, you noticed the narration, didn’t you?”
“I think you’re rubbing off on me, Pinkie.”
“Izzy, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
Secret Bonus Author's Note:
Here were rules we were given, in order. Each new rule deactivated the previous rule.
- No words that start with "f"
- Don't refer to any character by their actual name
- Main character suddenly gets a call from mom
- Add 3 footnotes (I put them in superscript)
- Don't use commas
- Break the fourth wall
