Half Life VR, But The AI Is Self Aware, and in Equestria!by Stalin with Da SpoonChaptersPrologue: Hello Gordon!Chapter 1: Gordon, where is the bank?Chapter 2: Hello ponies!Chapter 3: A Whole Town of Ponies!Chapter 4: Hello Twilight!Prologue: Hello Gordon!Chucky E Cheese. Gordon's Perspective. It was a good day for Freeman and the gang. Today, was Tommy's birthday, as several of Dr. Coomers clones danced up on stage, along with the original Dr. Coomer, Bubby, Tommy Coolatta, and even the G-Man, Tommy's father, as they all were busy dancing in the light, vibing to the epic music, as Freeman was busy looking out the window, at... The skeleton... "Why won't you go away?" The skeleton simply flipped freeman the skeleton bird, before stepping behind a pole and vanishing. "I'm not gonna question it, you can't get rid of him, I guess, hes always gonna be there..." He sighed and shrugged, looking back to seeing a clone of Dr Coomer, or the original, he couldn't tell, as he rapidly hit a minion hanging from the ceiling rapidly with his crowbar, making angry noises as he did so. "I am going to get your juicy candy insides, you pinata!" Tommy's dog, sunkist, was next to Coomer, as he just barked. Meanwhile, Bubby and Tommy were busy shooting their SMG's at what appeared to be Chucky E Cheese himself, as he was running around in circles. When Charles Entertainment Cheese The Third finally fell, Tommy and bubby celebrated, meanwhile, Dr. Coomer walked up to Gordon, facing him as he smiled at the doctor. "Hello Gordon!" "Hey Coomer, hows the party?" "Its pretty cool, Gordon." "Question, I thought you absorbed all your clones, why are they all here now?" "Well, when we defeated benry, I released the energy I used to defeat him, and as such, the energy re-manifested itself as my clones!" "Of course, you went and used the 'forbidden science' and became a knock off hulk as you beat Benry's ass, how could I forget? By the way, it was pretty fucking awesome." "Indeed!" Bubby then noticed the conversation and joined in. "I am personally very excited for when we get to see the outside world! I myself have never been outside, because you know, I was grown inside that damn test tube. Although, that G-man, or whatever his name is, said he would teleport us back to Black Mesa supposedly for... Clean up, or something." "I mean, we did cause massive amounts of destruction and chaos." "As well as wiped out the entirety of the united states military!" "Yeah, can't forget about that big achievement. Also, gordon, what ever happened to your minigun arm?" Bubby asked as Gordon looked at his now fully healed right arm, his minigun attachment missing. "Hey... Your right, its gone, but hey, I got my hand back!" Suddenly, the G-Man appeared right behind Gordon, as the HEV clad man jumped into the air in surprise. "Jeez man, warn people when you do stuff like that!" "Apologies Freeman, but anyways, you still have your minigun, just, you can only use it during more... Dangerous scenarios." Gordon nodded, knowing full well what the strange man meant by 'Dangerous Scenarios'. Just then, Tommy came up to the group with his usual smile on his face as he spoke in a happy tone. "Dad, this is the best party ever!" "Only the best for you, my son... Now, do you wish to go see a movie?" "A party at Chucky E Cheese, AND a movie all in one day? THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!" As the G-man created a portal to the theater, the gang walked through, as G-man entered last and the portal closed behind them, leaving behind the vanquished body of chucky himself. At the theater... As Freeman was busy getting some popcorn from the snack stand, Coomer came up next to him. "Gordon. I have a question." "Yes, dr. Coomer?" "When you eventually decide to power down the game... Will you leave us?" Gordon felt a sense of sadness overwhelm him. He didn't want to abandon his friends, he wanted to stay here with them and continue having the fun times. That's when he had an idea. "Why don't we ask the G-man for ideas?" "Excellent thinking Gordon!" As he said this, conveniently, the G-man appeared right next to them for a soda refill, as he turned to them. "I believe I overhead something about you wishing to never have to leave this world, Gordon... I believe I can... Help with that." Gordon and Coomer looked at each other excitedly, happy that the G-man could help them. "So, what can you do?" "Oh, its quite simple really, I just render you within this world, then transfer your soul from your computer, and boom, your in the game." "Wait, why is my soul in my computer?" Coomer slowly peeked over Gordons shoulder. "Why else do you use it so often Gordon?" Gordon simply shrugged as the G-man extended his hand. "Soooooo, do you accept?" Freeman nodded, as he gripped the G-mans hand, and promptly, and without warning, blacked out. And as he woke up on the floor, he felt... Different. Like he could truly feel himself on the floor, truly feel himself breathing... It worked! He was in the game, as everyone was gathered around him, cheering as he woke up. "Wahoo, mr Freeman is alive!" "Hello, gordon!" "Phew, for a second I thought you died!" "Nope, just transferred my soul into a videogame, nothing special." He said slowly standing up on his feet. "So, yall up for that bank robbery we were talking about?" The gang collectively nodded, as G-man walked over to the door of the theater and opened it, revealing a green portal. "This way to leave, my friends... Have a good time with your friends, tommy!" "I will dad! Weeeeeee!" He said running through the portal, bubby preparing to follow suit, as he charged forward. "Geronimo!" As he entered, Dr. Coomer, turned to G-man and nodded, then to Freeman and smiled. "See you on the other side, Gordon!" He said charging in. Finally, it was Gordons turn, as he faced the portal, psyching himself up. "Alright, lets do this." He turned to G-man, giving off a salute as he charged right through the portal. Little did the gang know, they would end up in a far different place than they had expected... Chapter 1: Gordon, where is the bank?Somewhere In The Everfree Forest... Gordon slowly began to open his eyes, looking around to see.. Trees... Lots and lots of trees around him. As he slowly sat up, he looked to see he was sitting in some rather comfortable grass. As he stood up, he looked around for his colleagues, not seeing them anywhere in sight, feeling slightly worried that he had become seperated, before he heard an all too familiar phrase. "Hello Gordon!" Gordon quickly turned to see Dr. Coomer standing behind him. "I see you have also woken up, so now I ask the important question. Gordon, where is the bank?" Before Gordon could even answer, they heard what could be described as a wolf howling, looking behind themselves to see several dangerous wolves staring and growling at them. However, these wolves were different... They were made of... Wooden sticks? How was this possible? Coomer looked at these creatures rather calmly. "How peculiar... I would stay to study these strange creatures, but I believe they see us as a free snack!" He said turning before running in the opposite direction, and as the wolves howled again, Gordon quickly followed Coomer. "Fuck, wait up!" As Gordon occasionally glanced behind them, he saw the wolves still hot on their trail, as then, he heard another scream, this time from an all too familiar voice. "HELP, THESE FUCKING WEIRD WOOD WOLVES IS TRYING TO EAT ME!" Hearing the cry of help from Bubby, Coomer and Gordon quickly ran towards the source, to see Bubby backed up against the wall, surrounded by three more timberwolves, as the beasts turned to look at Gordon and Coomer, as Coomer's eyes suddenly glew red, as he straight ran towards a wolf and punched it right in the face as it burst into thousands of little tiny sticks. "HAAAA! COWER BEFORE ME WOLVES!" As he said this in a deep tone, the other timberwolves slowly began to back off, with Bubby suddenly drawing a pistol, and firing it at the wolves, as they began to run away scared. "Ha, yes! Run, you cowards, run from my mighty gun!" And then, they heard another yell, this time from their young friend Tommy, as the gang quickly set off running towards the direction of the yell. As they finally reached the edge of the forest, after running quite a fair distance, they saw Tommy completely surrounded by timberwolves, as Gordon was unsure what to do, before a memory popped into his head... "PRESS ALL BUTTONS TO ACTIVATE DEVIL GUN MODE!" Gordon slowly nodded, as his arm slowly began to shake, as he felt a sudden change in his arm, looking down to his good ol minigun hand, as he took aim at the timberwolves, AND LET ER RIP! As the bullets tore through the wolves, the gunfire echoed all the way to ponyville, causing mass confusion, but thats nothing to worry about right now, as the timberwolves were now all neat piles of wood. The gang all got together again, happy to see each other. "Tommy, thank god your alive!" "Yeah, Im okay mr Freeman, just got a new fear of wooden wolves, thats all!" "Excellent news, now, lets figure out where in the world we are!" "Well, from what I can tell, some sort of forest, and from the looks of it, a pretty well lit one at that, its actually pretty nice without the FUCKING WOODEN WOLVES!" Bubby yelled out in rage, as Gordon placed a finger on his mouth, while his minigun vanished again. "Quiet, you'll attract more!" Bubby promptly shut up, as Tommy pointed to what appeared to be grass land outside of the forest. "Look, Mr freeman, a way out!" "Good eye, tommy, lets move!" Everyone nodded as they quickly made their way to the opening, as howling was heard behind them. As the gang escaped the woods, they came out into a massive field, as Gordon shielded his eyes from the sun, as bubby's mouth was agape. "Its... Its beautiful!" Coomer simply could not comprehend it all. "My my, its quite nice, isn't it? A good spot for a picnic!" "Yeah... Sure beats black mesa, am I right?" "Indeed!" Meanwhile, off in the small town of ponyville, everyone seemed to be confused and looking off in the distance towards the forest, as Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy are among them, wondering in the heck those loud bangs were. "Maybe it was party poppers!" "Ah don't reckon that, considering I heard timberwolf howls just before those bangs went off..." "M-maybe the wolves got scared by it? Should we go see?" "Ah reckon we oughta least investigate." Applejacks friends nodded as they slowly made their way towards the everfree forest. As they were nearing the edge of the forest, they saw an un-expected sight... Four bi-pedal creatures were seen in the field, one simply sitting around doing nothing, another staring at the sun, one with a pinwheel hat blowing on a daisy, and the final one wearing some kind of strange suit, looking around, as the ponies ducked into some bushes. "What in the hay are those things?" "You think they caused those bangs?" "Maybe they was attacked by them wolves..." "Who cares, new species, new people, NEW PEOPLE PARTY!" She said as she shouted out, the creatures turning towards the noise, as one spoke in a language the girls actually understood. "What in the hell was that!?!" "Maybe its another person?" "I dunno, tommy, could be dangerous, get behind me guys..." The suited up creature said as it raised some sort of metal bar, slowly approaching the bushes. As the creature approached, the girls began to get nervous, as applejack was ready some aft, fluttershy was ready to just run away, and pinkie pie was ready for celebration as the creature slowly raised the metal bar high as it peeked inside the bushes, looking fluttershy right in the face. What followed next was a very, very, very loud scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Hello gordon!" Chapter 2: Hello ponies!"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" "AHHHHHHHHHH-" "Everyone calm down!" Gordon screamed at the top of his lungs, as Bubby and fluttershy stopped screaming like mad. Tommy, being the child that he is, had a big dopey smile on his face as he looked at the ponies, waving at them before turning to Gordon. You would think the gang would be surprised, but they had been fighting inter-dimensional aliens and a eldritch horror only a couple days ago, so yeah. "Oh wow, talking cartoon ponies, Mr Freeman!" Gordon was currently just pointing his crowbar at the unknown creatures, with it slightly shaking in his hand. "Get back, Tommy, we don't know if they're friendly! Considering we were just assaulted by weird wood wolves, I don't trust this place one bit!" Gordon said in a panicked tone, with the ponies having a realization, with Pinkie asking a question. "Wait, were you the ones who spooked those timberwolves?" Gordon at first didn't know what she was talking about, but then he realized it was just a clever name for those wooden wolves. "Yeah, they surrounded us, so we kicked their wooden butts!" Tommy said happily, with Coomer nodding. "Indeed, they broke apart into neat piles of firewood." Fluttershy appeared slightly terrified, with Applejack having a look of suspicion on her face. Pinkie just had the usual look you would expect Pinkie to have. "COOL! So you fought em off all hero style?" Coomer rapidly nodded and smiled. "Indeed! Although, it was self defense, perfectly justified." The ponies nodded, understanding the hostile nature of Timberwolves, and the need to defend themselves. "So you were the ones makin' all them bangin sounds?" Bubby nodded and replied, as he pulled out a pistol and shot it into the air, causing fluttershy to duck back into the bush out of fear. "Yep, we banged those motherfuckers." Bubby says with a smile on his face, with Tommy putting his good ol child brain to use. "Yeah, shot em to bits like we did those weird space aliens that tried to shoot us." Coomer suddenly had fond memories of said space aliens. "Ah yes, the xenians! Such fascinating creatures. Too bad we had to exterminate them all!" Cue the ponies all having looks of fear and confusion on their faces, even Pinkie being slightly afraid of these violent beings. "U-ummm... W-what exactly are you?" Fluttershy asked timidly, her voice barely being heard by anyone, except Tommy. "Oh, were humans! Yes, we have many cool thing about us, like soda... Hands... Mr. Freeman, what else do we have?" Gordon just slightly chuckled as he lowered his crowbar. "I think it's best we explain everything later, Tommy." Coomer nodded towards Gordon in agreement. "Indeed, Gordon! Its for the best that we dispel the fears of these ponies, so we may establish good relations!" Bubby was simply still dumbfounded by the fact he was staring at talking technicolor cartoon ponies. "I don't know how these things are even talking, this defies all known laws of science." Bubby said, with Pinkie just laughing. "Of course silly, science doesn't apply to us, we use magic!" Cue Gordon and Bubby looking confused, with Coomer speaking with intrigue. "Fascinating... Anyways, I do believe introductions are in order, Gordon!" Gordon just nodded as he looked back to the ponies. "Alright then, my name is Gordon Freeman. That there is Dr. Coomer." He said pointing his crowbar to Coomer, who waved. "Hello, Gordon!" Gordon then aimed his crowbar at Bubby. "That's Bubby." "You know it baby." And he finally aimed at Tommy. "And that's tommy." "Hello!" Applejack nodded before stepping forward. "Well, its nice to meet ya, pardner. Name's Applejack, and these here are my friends Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy." Applejack said as she tipped her hat, Pinkie rapidly waving her hoof and smiling, and Fluttershy lightly waving while hiding behind Applejack. Coomer just smiled at the shy little pegasi, and spoke to her in a calm tone. "You have no need to fear us, little pony. We are not here to harm you, or enslave you, or eat you, or harass you. In fact, why are we here, Gordon?" Gordon was about to answer before realizing he had no idea. "I don't know, that portal should have sent us to the bank." Suddenly, Tommy had an idea. "Ooooh, maybe my dad sent us here to have another adventure!" Bubby couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, it appears your dad has a weird idea of an adventure." "Yeah, he always said I should try new things." Gordon couldn't help but laugh, until finally turned back to the ponies. "Hey, ya got something to eat? Popcorn really ain't cutting it for my stomach, and I haven't eaten anything real in DAYS." "Tough luck for you, Gordon, my Black Mesa Power Stomach keeps me constantly sustained!" Bubby just shook his head in confusion. "I still don't get how you have all the fancy cybernetics." Pinkie's face shifted to that of excitement, as she understood her purpose for today. Her number one goal. Feed the strange new creatures. "Ooooh, we could head down to my place, sugercube corner! I got the best sweets and treats in Equestria!" Gordon slowly nodded, turning to his co horts. "Sounds exicting to me, Mr. Freeman!" "Indeed, I hope they have toaster strudel!" "If they don't have banana muffins, I shall riot." "Oh, we got tons of banana muffins!" "Good, all is right in the universe then." Applejack just chuckled to herself. "Well, I guess ya oughta follow us on back to town then." Gordon nodded, as the ponies and humans began the long trek to ponyville. Tartarus. It was your average quiet morning in Tartarus, and Cozy Glow and Tirek were busy chatting in their cages, before a loud unknown caught their attention. "Heck was that?" "I dunno, but it sounds like it came from behind that rock!" Cozy said pointing to a rock, and slowly, a bi pedal figure slowly stepped out from behind the rock, as it faced the two, and they were struck with fear, as it asked them a question. "You guys got your passports?" Chapter 3: A Whole Town of Ponies!Ponyville. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy were currently leading the group of humans to the small town, as Tommy caught sight of the town and pointed towards it. "Woah, a whole town of ponies!" Coomer nodded, confirming he saw the same thing. "Indeed, and with my Black Mesa patented Power Eyes, I can see everyone walking around! Such a beautiful sight, and quite civilized." Gordon slowly nodded, still confused about how Dr Coomer had so many cybernetic enhancements, but he decided not to question it. "Yeah, wait, how did you ponies build a town without hands?" Cue Applejack smiling as she tipped her hat. "Why, when all three of us pony races come together, we can do some mighty impressive stuff. Shucks, if you think Ponyville is great, wait till you see Canterlot!" Pinkie happily agreed with her friend, nodding rapidly. "Yeah, we built alot of cool things!" Bubby slowly nodded, honestly not being surprised by the fact ponies that could speak could also pull off constructions like this, but then heard Applejack three races, which confused him. "Wait, there is a third pony race?" "Mhm, the unicorns!" Bubby simply shrugged, not being surprised that there were unicorns in a land of talking pony and pegasi, as Tommy had a big beaming smile. "Oh wow, this truly is a magical wonderland!" Gordon simply chuckled, still finding it hard to believe they were in some sort of magical pony land, but considering they had been fighting off an alien invasion a couple hours ago, it was a nice change of pace for him. "To be honest, I would not be surprised if there were dragons flying around." Cue Pinkie slightly giggiling as she informed Gordon. "Well, we actually do have dragons, so there you go!" Cue Gordon shrugging, as he was truly not surprised, while Tommy was even more amazed. "Wow, Mr Freeman, did you hear that, I get to ride a dragon!" Coomer happily nodded and turned to Gordon. "Gordon, I want a dragon." "Coomer, you are not getting a dragon." Gordon then simply sighed as the group continued to walk into town. As they strolled into the town, they expectedly got the awkward and weird glances from many ponies, some even running in fear, which Gordon expected. However, some ponies simply looked on with intrigue, and a certain mint green pony who was sitting on a bench in a weird way alongside her friend turned to the group, as a sudden smile struck across her face, as she quickly got out of her seat and rushed up to the group, much to her friends dismay. "Oh my gosh, are you guys humans? PLEASE tell me your humans!" Gordon reeled back from the ponies sudden introduction, before confirming her suspicion. "Uhhhhh, yes, we are humans..." "YES! I KNEW IT! HUMANS ARE REAL!" The pony did a hoof bump in the air before turning back to Gordon. "Names Lyra Heartstrings! Nice to meet you, human!" "Yeah... I'm Gordon, so nice to meet you too..." Another Pony quickly came up to Lyra and quickly began to drag her away, much to Lyra's dismay. "Cmon Lyra, let's leave them be." "BUT BON BON!" Bon bon proceeded to shoot Lyra a quick glare, which shut her up quick as they walked away, with Lyra waving goodbye, still having a big smile on her face. Gordon just shrugged his head as Pinkie pie spoke up. "You oughta meet our friend Twilight, she's a swell mare!" Coomer slowly nodded. "I believe it best that we meet this Twilight, Gordon. She sounds rather friendly!" Gordon nodded in understanding, as he turned to Fluttershy. "So where does she live?" Fluttershy simply pointed to the large crystalline castle, which Gordon was surprised that he or his friend had not yet noticed. "Oh wow, did not expect that. Alright then, lets go meet this Twilight lady!" Cue Gordon and his friend group waltzing off towards the castle. Meanwhile, in the pits of Tartarus... "Do you guys have your passports?" The question confused Tirek and Cozy Glow, as they looked at the strange biped, inspecting them. They seemed to wear some sort of vest with blue sleeves and black pants, as well as a helmet over there head. Tirek decided to be the first to respond, and with a question. "Pray tell what a passport is?" The biped narrowed their eyes, seemingly in judgement, putting Tirek and Cozy Glow on edge, before it responded. "A passport is an official travel document issued by a government that contains a given person's Identity. It enables its holder travel to and from foreign countries and to access consular assistance while overseas. The document certifies the personal identity and nationality of its holder. Standard passports contain the full name, photograph, place and date of birth, signature, and the expiration date of the passport. While passports are typically issued by national governments, certain sub-national governments are authorized to issue passports to citizens residing within their borders." Just when Tirek and Cozy thought the figure was finished, they continued. "A passport holder is normally entitled to enter the country that issued the passport, though some people entitled to a passport may not be full citizens with right of abode American nationals or British Nationals. A passport does not of itself create any rights in the country being visited or obligate the issuing country in any way, such as providing consular assistance. Some passports attest to the bearer having a status as a or other official, entitled to rights and privileges such as diplomatic immunity from arrest or prosecution." After a few seconds of silence, Cozy spoke up. "So... are you done?" "Yes." "Well, sorry to say, but we don't got any passports, mister." Cue a strong glare from the figure, before shrugging. "Understandable, you guys look like the type to not carry one. May I have your names?" Cue Tirek striking a dramatic pose. "I am the mighty lord Tirek! And this here filly is Cozy Glow." Cue Cozy giving a cute little wave. "Whats yer name mister?" "You can call me... Benry." Back in Ponyville... "Hello, Twilight!" Author's Note Yes, Benry did indeed quote the wikipedia article for passports. Chapter 4: Hello Twilight!Twilight's Castle of Friendship "Y'know, Castle of Friendship is a pretty dumb name." Gordon simply couldn't help himself from making that statement as they slowly through ponyville. "I mean seriously, that's like calling... Oh I dunno, the Rhombus of Infinite Subjugation!" "I dunno, Mr Freeman, that sounds kinda cool!" Tommy stated, genuinely believing it was a good name. "Tommy, no it does not, it sounds horrible!" "It's pretty cool, Gordon." Coomer plain and simply said, not caring for Gordon's opinion as he shot it down. "I- Ugh, I give up, you win." "Yay!" Applejack couldn't help but chuckle at the little conversation the humans had with each other. Sure, it sounded more like an argument, but she could tell it was just petty little bickering between friends. Of course, she had to keep herself from bursting out laughing as Coomer broke out into a victory dance. "I have demonstrated the superiority of my opinion, and as such, have claimed victory!" Gordon simply facepalmed as Tommy joined in, while Bubby just sighed. "For a scientist, he doesn't act scientific." "Neither do you, Bubby." "Fair point." As the group continued to walk, the massive crystal castle came into view, it's bright shimmering material bouncing off sunlight, which beamed right into Gordon's eyes. "AH FUCK- My eyes!" Applejack just simply chuckled. "Yeah, it has a tendency to do that alot, but don't worry, it gets better the closer you are." "I don't think that's how it works, but okay." Bubby's jaw proceeded to completely gape as he looked at the large castle in front of him. "Is that entire damn thing made out of crystals?" "Yeperoni!" "Fuck, must've been expensive to build, plus it looks like it's build on top of a tree." "Well, it wasn't exactly built, and it was based off Twilight's old tree house library!" Pinkie pie happily exclaimed, as Tommy made a noise of pure fascination. "Aw man, living in a tree house must be cool." "Yeah, too bad it got blown up." The humans all made a noise of confusion. "The fuck you mean blown up? I thought this land was all peaceful and shit." Gordon said, visibly confused. "Well, you see, there was this big centaur named Tirek, and he was a real meany head, and tried to steal all our magic, then he blew up Twilight's house, but she managed to make a brand new castle using her magic!" "... You know what? That explanation ain't so bad when I compare it to the shit I saw back in black mesa." Coomer nodded. "Indeed, the horrors we witnessed were beyond explanation or reason!" Bubby visibly shivered at remembering the many dangerous lifeforms they had fought. The peeper puppies, the zombies, the squid things, vorti-somethings, and those damn alien soldiers. And don't even get him started on that weird tentacle monster in the rocket testing lab, that thing was nightmare fuel. Plus, there was that big ol mommy spider thing they fought in the alien dimension, which he was pretty was called Xen, but yeah, not a fun experience, AT ALL. "Yeah, but just like the military, we wiped those fuckers out!" "Indeed, the entirety of the united states military was brought to it's knees!" Applejack could only nervously chuckle, still nervous from hearing how these humans were somehow powerful enough to destroy an entire nation's military. At least they were friendly enough to be trusted. As they got closer to the crystal castle, Coomer let out a confused hum as he inspected it's size. "Hmm, looks a bit smaller than I thought!" Pinkie Pie happily giggled in response. "Don't worry, it's bigger on the inside!" Bubby was utterly confused when he heard that one. "Is it a damn TARDIS?" A certain Doctor slightly looked up confused when he heard that statement. Simply sighing, Gordon slowly walked up the steps with the rest of the gang, as Fluttershy walked up to the large door and rang the doorbell. "Huh, didn't expect it to have a doorbell for some reason." Gordon then turned to his 'human' friends. "Alright guys, be on your best behavior, don't shoot anything, don't blow shit up, don't punch anything, and- For god sake Tommy what are you doing?" Tommy, who was currently sniffing Pinkie's mane, looked up from his important duty. "But she smells like candy!" Pinkie lightly giggled while Gordon facepalmed, turning back to the door just in time to see it open, and out popped the head of a tiny little purple dragon with green spines, as they smiled. "Oh hey girls-" Spike froze upon the sight of the strange tall figures standing with the mares, especially the one sniffing Pinkie's hair, to which she did not even object. "Uhhhhh... Who are they?" "Spike, these fine folks are humans, as ya could probably tell." Instantly, Spike's eyes lit up in fascination, as he approached and quickly inspected the humans, before nodding. "Yep, they are indeed human, but how did they get here without using the mirror?" Applejack simply shrugged, while Gordon had a confused look on his face, before deciding not to question it, deciding to simply introduce himself. "Well, my names Gordon Freeman, then there's Coomer, Bubby, and Tommy. And you are?" "Names Spike, nice to meet you Mr Freeman!" Spike said as he happily shook Gordon's hand. "Heh, I'm shaking a baby dragon's hand... Not the weirdest thing i've seen, but still weird." Spike chortled a bit, as he turned to Applejack. "I'm guessing your all here to see Twilight?" Applejack nodded, as did Fluttershy. "Well alright then, c'mon in!" Spike gestured for the group to follow him inside the castle, which they did, and instantly Bubby understood what Pinkie meant by 'Bigger on the inside'. "Holy crap, this place is huge!" "Yep, it's pretty big! Anyways, c'mon, Twi should be in the library." After a bit of walking through the long winding crystal corridors, with Tommy accidentally getting lost several times, Coomer resisting the urge to punch anything breakable he saw into dust, and Bubby still baffled by the utter size of the castle's interior, the gang finally reached the library, as they saw the purple alicorn herself sitting at a table, reading through a book titled 'Daring Do, And The Titular Tirade of the Tyrannical Tirek'. Hearing footsteps, Twilight looked up from her book, smiling as she saw Spike and her friends, before looking to the humans behind them and her eyes widening. "Ummmm... Why are there humans here?" Applejack nervously chuckled. "It's a long story..." Tartarus. "And that's how I wound up here in Tartarus!" As Cozy Glow finished her long dramatic presentation on the events leading to her imprisonment, both Benry and Tirke clapped, applauding the young filly's dramatic performance, as she bowed. However, as he clapped, Benry soon came to a realization, as he asked the two a question. "Wow, so, you guys both tried to steal all the magic in this place called Equestria, right?" They both nodded. "Alright, and with this magic, you could theoretically do anything, right?" "I suppose so..." "Could you give me another month of Playstation plus?" "Uhhhhh... Sure?" Benry's eyes lit up, as he proceeded to pull out a rocket launcher, and as the two villains took a step back, Benry proceeded to blow both cages open, and as the two villains stepped out, Benry simply smiled a maniacal grin. "It's time for a break out."
Prologue: Hello Gordon!Chucky E Cheese. Gordon's Perspective. It was a good day for Freeman and the gang. Today, was Tommy's birthday, as several of Dr. Coomers clones danced up on stage, along with the original Dr. Coomer, Bubby, Tommy Coolatta, and even the G-Man, Tommy's father, as they all were busy dancing in the light, vibing to the epic music, as Freeman was busy looking out the window, at... The skeleton... "Why won't you go away?" The skeleton simply flipped freeman the skeleton bird, before stepping behind a pole and vanishing. "I'm not gonna question it, you can't get rid of him, I guess, hes always gonna be there..." He sighed and shrugged, looking back to seeing a clone of Dr Coomer, or the original, he couldn't tell, as he rapidly hit a minion hanging from the ceiling rapidly with his crowbar, making angry noises as he did so. "I am going to get your juicy candy insides, you pinata!" Tommy's dog, sunkist, was next to Coomer, as he just barked. Meanwhile, Bubby and Tommy were busy shooting their SMG's at what appeared to be Chucky E Cheese himself, as he was running around in circles. When Charles Entertainment Cheese The Third finally fell, Tommy and bubby celebrated, meanwhile, Dr. Coomer walked up to Gordon, facing him as he smiled at the doctor. "Hello Gordon!" "Hey Coomer, hows the party?" "Its pretty cool, Gordon." "Question, I thought you absorbed all your clones, why are they all here now?" "Well, when we defeated benry, I released the energy I used to defeat him, and as such, the energy re-manifested itself as my clones!" "Of course, you went and used the 'forbidden science' and became a knock off hulk as you beat Benry's ass, how could I forget? By the way, it was pretty fucking awesome." "Indeed!" Bubby then noticed the conversation and joined in. "I am personally very excited for when we get to see the outside world! I myself have never been outside, because you know, I was grown inside that damn test tube. Although, that G-man, or whatever his name is, said he would teleport us back to Black Mesa supposedly for... Clean up, or something." "I mean, we did cause massive amounts of destruction and chaos." "As well as wiped out the entirety of the united states military!" "Yeah, can't forget about that big achievement. Also, gordon, what ever happened to your minigun arm?" Bubby asked as Gordon looked at his now fully healed right arm, his minigun attachment missing. "Hey... Your right, its gone, but hey, I got my hand back!" Suddenly, the G-Man appeared right behind Gordon, as the HEV clad man jumped into the air in surprise. "Jeez man, warn people when you do stuff like that!" "Apologies Freeman, but anyways, you still have your minigun, just, you can only use it during more... Dangerous scenarios." Gordon nodded, knowing full well what the strange man meant by 'Dangerous Scenarios'. Just then, Tommy came up to the group with his usual smile on his face as he spoke in a happy tone. "Dad, this is the best party ever!" "Only the best for you, my son... Now, do you wish to go see a movie?" "A party at Chucky E Cheese, AND a movie all in one day? THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!" As the G-man created a portal to the theater, the gang walked through, as G-man entered last and the portal closed behind them, leaving behind the vanquished body of chucky himself. At the theater... As Freeman was busy getting some popcorn from the snack stand, Coomer came up next to him. "Gordon. I have a question." "Yes, dr. Coomer?" "When you eventually decide to power down the game... Will you leave us?" Gordon felt a sense of sadness overwhelm him. He didn't want to abandon his friends, he wanted to stay here with them and continue having the fun times. That's when he had an idea. "Why don't we ask the G-man for ideas?" "Excellent thinking Gordon!" As he said this, conveniently, the G-man appeared right next to them for a soda refill, as he turned to them. "I believe I overhead something about you wishing to never have to leave this world, Gordon... I believe I can... Help with that." Gordon and Coomer looked at each other excitedly, happy that the G-man could help them. "So, what can you do?" "Oh, its quite simple really, I just render you within this world, then transfer your soul from your computer, and boom, your in the game." "Wait, why is my soul in my computer?" Coomer slowly peeked over Gordons shoulder. "Why else do you use it so often Gordon?" Gordon simply shrugged as the G-man extended his hand. "Soooooo, do you accept?" Freeman nodded, as he gripped the G-mans hand, and promptly, and without warning, blacked out. And as he woke up on the floor, he felt... Different. Like he could truly feel himself on the floor, truly feel himself breathing... It worked! He was in the game, as everyone was gathered around him, cheering as he woke up. "Wahoo, mr Freeman is alive!" "Hello, gordon!" "Phew, for a second I thought you died!" "Nope, just transferred my soul into a videogame, nothing special." He said slowly standing up on his feet. "So, yall up for that bank robbery we were talking about?" The gang collectively nodded, as G-man walked over to the door of the theater and opened it, revealing a green portal. "This way to leave, my friends... Have a good time with your friends, tommy!" "I will dad! Weeeeeee!" He said running through the portal, bubby preparing to follow suit, as he charged forward. "Geronimo!" As he entered, Dr. Coomer, turned to G-man and nodded, then to Freeman and smiled. "See you on the other side, Gordon!" He said charging in. Finally, it was Gordons turn, as he faced the portal, psyching himself up. "Alright, lets do this." He turned to G-man, giving off a salute as he charged right through the portal. Little did the gang know, they would end up in a far different place than they had expected...
Chapter 1: Gordon, where is the bank?Somewhere In The Everfree Forest... Gordon slowly began to open his eyes, looking around to see.. Trees... Lots and lots of trees around him. As he slowly sat up, he looked to see he was sitting in some rather comfortable grass. As he stood up, he looked around for his colleagues, not seeing them anywhere in sight, feeling slightly worried that he had become seperated, before he heard an all too familiar phrase. "Hello Gordon!" Gordon quickly turned to see Dr. Coomer standing behind him. "I see you have also woken up, so now I ask the important question. Gordon, where is the bank?" Before Gordon could even answer, they heard what could be described as a wolf howling, looking behind themselves to see several dangerous wolves staring and growling at them. However, these wolves were different... They were made of... Wooden sticks? How was this possible? Coomer looked at these creatures rather calmly. "How peculiar... I would stay to study these strange creatures, but I believe they see us as a free snack!" He said turning before running in the opposite direction, and as the wolves howled again, Gordon quickly followed Coomer. "Fuck, wait up!" As Gordon occasionally glanced behind them, he saw the wolves still hot on their trail, as then, he heard another scream, this time from an all too familiar voice. "HELP, THESE FUCKING WEIRD WOOD WOLVES IS TRYING TO EAT ME!" Hearing the cry of help from Bubby, Coomer and Gordon quickly ran towards the source, to see Bubby backed up against the wall, surrounded by three more timberwolves, as the beasts turned to look at Gordon and Coomer, as Coomer's eyes suddenly glew red, as he straight ran towards a wolf and punched it right in the face as it burst into thousands of little tiny sticks. "HAAAA! COWER BEFORE ME WOLVES!" As he said this in a deep tone, the other timberwolves slowly began to back off, with Bubby suddenly drawing a pistol, and firing it at the wolves, as they began to run away scared. "Ha, yes! Run, you cowards, run from my mighty gun!" And then, they heard another yell, this time from their young friend Tommy, as the gang quickly set off running towards the direction of the yell. As they finally reached the edge of the forest, after running quite a fair distance, they saw Tommy completely surrounded by timberwolves, as Gordon was unsure what to do, before a memory popped into his head... "PRESS ALL BUTTONS TO ACTIVATE DEVIL GUN MODE!" Gordon slowly nodded, as his arm slowly began to shake, as he felt a sudden change in his arm, looking down to his good ol minigun hand, as he took aim at the timberwolves, AND LET ER RIP! As the bullets tore through the wolves, the gunfire echoed all the way to ponyville, causing mass confusion, but thats nothing to worry about right now, as the timberwolves were now all neat piles of wood. The gang all got together again, happy to see each other. "Tommy, thank god your alive!" "Yeah, Im okay mr Freeman, just got a new fear of wooden wolves, thats all!" "Excellent news, now, lets figure out where in the world we are!" "Well, from what I can tell, some sort of forest, and from the looks of it, a pretty well lit one at that, its actually pretty nice without the FUCKING WOODEN WOLVES!" Bubby yelled out in rage, as Gordon placed a finger on his mouth, while his minigun vanished again. "Quiet, you'll attract more!" Bubby promptly shut up, as Tommy pointed to what appeared to be grass land outside of the forest. "Look, Mr freeman, a way out!" "Good eye, tommy, lets move!" Everyone nodded as they quickly made their way to the opening, as howling was heard behind them. As the gang escaped the woods, they came out into a massive field, as Gordon shielded his eyes from the sun, as bubby's mouth was agape. "Its... Its beautiful!" Coomer simply could not comprehend it all. "My my, its quite nice, isn't it? A good spot for a picnic!" "Yeah... Sure beats black mesa, am I right?" "Indeed!" Meanwhile, off in the small town of ponyville, everyone seemed to be confused and looking off in the distance towards the forest, as Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy are among them, wondering in the heck those loud bangs were. "Maybe it was party poppers!" "Ah don't reckon that, considering I heard timberwolf howls just before those bangs went off..." "M-maybe the wolves got scared by it? Should we go see?" "Ah reckon we oughta least investigate." Applejacks friends nodded as they slowly made their way towards the everfree forest. As they were nearing the edge of the forest, they saw an un-expected sight... Four bi-pedal creatures were seen in the field, one simply sitting around doing nothing, another staring at the sun, one with a pinwheel hat blowing on a daisy, and the final one wearing some kind of strange suit, looking around, as the ponies ducked into some bushes. "What in the hay are those things?" "You think they caused those bangs?" "Maybe they was attacked by them wolves..." "Who cares, new species, new people, NEW PEOPLE PARTY!" She said as she shouted out, the creatures turning towards the noise, as one spoke in a language the girls actually understood. "What in the hell was that!?!" "Maybe its another person?" "I dunno, tommy, could be dangerous, get behind me guys..." The suited up creature said as it raised some sort of metal bar, slowly approaching the bushes. As the creature approached, the girls began to get nervous, as applejack was ready some aft, fluttershy was ready to just run away, and pinkie pie was ready for celebration as the creature slowly raised the metal bar high as it peeked inside the bushes, looking fluttershy right in the face. What followed next was a very, very, very loud scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Hello gordon!"
Chapter 2: Hello ponies!"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" "AHHHHHHHHHH-" "Everyone calm down!" Gordon screamed at the top of his lungs, as Bubby and fluttershy stopped screaming like mad. Tommy, being the child that he is, had a big dopey smile on his face as he looked at the ponies, waving at them before turning to Gordon. You would think the gang would be surprised, but they had been fighting inter-dimensional aliens and a eldritch horror only a couple days ago, so yeah. "Oh wow, talking cartoon ponies, Mr Freeman!" Gordon was currently just pointing his crowbar at the unknown creatures, with it slightly shaking in his hand. "Get back, Tommy, we don't know if they're friendly! Considering we were just assaulted by weird wood wolves, I don't trust this place one bit!" Gordon said in a panicked tone, with the ponies having a realization, with Pinkie asking a question. "Wait, were you the ones who spooked those timberwolves?" Gordon at first didn't know what she was talking about, but then he realized it was just a clever name for those wooden wolves. "Yeah, they surrounded us, so we kicked their wooden butts!" Tommy said happily, with Coomer nodding. "Indeed, they broke apart into neat piles of firewood." Fluttershy appeared slightly terrified, with Applejack having a look of suspicion on her face. Pinkie just had the usual look you would expect Pinkie to have. "COOL! So you fought em off all hero style?" Coomer rapidly nodded and smiled. "Indeed! Although, it was self defense, perfectly justified." The ponies nodded, understanding the hostile nature of Timberwolves, and the need to defend themselves. "So you were the ones makin' all them bangin sounds?" Bubby nodded and replied, as he pulled out a pistol and shot it into the air, causing fluttershy to duck back into the bush out of fear. "Yep, we banged those motherfuckers." Bubby says with a smile on his face, with Tommy putting his good ol child brain to use. "Yeah, shot em to bits like we did those weird space aliens that tried to shoot us." Coomer suddenly had fond memories of said space aliens. "Ah yes, the xenians! Such fascinating creatures. Too bad we had to exterminate them all!" Cue the ponies all having looks of fear and confusion on their faces, even Pinkie being slightly afraid of these violent beings. "U-ummm... W-what exactly are you?" Fluttershy asked timidly, her voice barely being heard by anyone, except Tommy. "Oh, were humans! Yes, we have many cool thing about us, like soda... Hands... Mr. Freeman, what else do we have?" Gordon just slightly chuckled as he lowered his crowbar. "I think it's best we explain everything later, Tommy." Coomer nodded towards Gordon in agreement. "Indeed, Gordon! Its for the best that we dispel the fears of these ponies, so we may establish good relations!" Bubby was simply still dumbfounded by the fact he was staring at talking technicolor cartoon ponies. "I don't know how these things are even talking, this defies all known laws of science." Bubby said, with Pinkie just laughing. "Of course silly, science doesn't apply to us, we use magic!" Cue Gordon and Bubby looking confused, with Coomer speaking with intrigue. "Fascinating... Anyways, I do believe introductions are in order, Gordon!" Gordon just nodded as he looked back to the ponies. "Alright then, my name is Gordon Freeman. That there is Dr. Coomer." He said pointing his crowbar to Coomer, who waved. "Hello, Gordon!" Gordon then aimed his crowbar at Bubby. "That's Bubby." "You know it baby." And he finally aimed at Tommy. "And that's tommy." "Hello!" Applejack nodded before stepping forward. "Well, its nice to meet ya, pardner. Name's Applejack, and these here are my friends Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy." Applejack said as she tipped her hat, Pinkie rapidly waving her hoof and smiling, and Fluttershy lightly waving while hiding behind Applejack. Coomer just smiled at the shy little pegasi, and spoke to her in a calm tone. "You have no need to fear us, little pony. We are not here to harm you, or enslave you, or eat you, or harass you. In fact, why are we here, Gordon?" Gordon was about to answer before realizing he had no idea. "I don't know, that portal should have sent us to the bank." Suddenly, Tommy had an idea. "Ooooh, maybe my dad sent us here to have another adventure!" Bubby couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, it appears your dad has a weird idea of an adventure." "Yeah, he always said I should try new things." Gordon couldn't help but laugh, until finally turned back to the ponies. "Hey, ya got something to eat? Popcorn really ain't cutting it for my stomach, and I haven't eaten anything real in DAYS." "Tough luck for you, Gordon, my Black Mesa Power Stomach keeps me constantly sustained!" Bubby just shook his head in confusion. "I still don't get how you have all the fancy cybernetics." Pinkie's face shifted to that of excitement, as she understood her purpose for today. Her number one goal. Feed the strange new creatures. "Ooooh, we could head down to my place, sugercube corner! I got the best sweets and treats in Equestria!" Gordon slowly nodded, turning to his co horts. "Sounds exicting to me, Mr. Freeman!" "Indeed, I hope they have toaster strudel!" "If they don't have banana muffins, I shall riot." "Oh, we got tons of banana muffins!" "Good, all is right in the universe then." Applejack just chuckled to herself. "Well, I guess ya oughta follow us on back to town then." Gordon nodded, as the ponies and humans began the long trek to ponyville. Tartarus. It was your average quiet morning in Tartarus, and Cozy Glow and Tirek were busy chatting in their cages, before a loud unknown caught their attention. "Heck was that?" "I dunno, but it sounds like it came from behind that rock!" Cozy said pointing to a rock, and slowly, a bi pedal figure slowly stepped out from behind the rock, as it faced the two, and they were struck with fear, as it asked them a question. "You guys got your passports?"
Chapter 3: A Whole Town of Ponies!Ponyville. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy were currently leading the group of humans to the small town, as Tommy caught sight of the town and pointed towards it. "Woah, a whole town of ponies!" Coomer nodded, confirming he saw the same thing. "Indeed, and with my Black Mesa patented Power Eyes, I can see everyone walking around! Such a beautiful sight, and quite civilized." Gordon slowly nodded, still confused about how Dr Coomer had so many cybernetic enhancements, but he decided not to question it. "Yeah, wait, how did you ponies build a town without hands?" Cue Applejack smiling as she tipped her hat. "Why, when all three of us pony races come together, we can do some mighty impressive stuff. Shucks, if you think Ponyville is great, wait till you see Canterlot!" Pinkie happily agreed with her friend, nodding rapidly. "Yeah, we built alot of cool things!" Bubby slowly nodded, honestly not being surprised by the fact ponies that could speak could also pull off constructions like this, but then heard Applejack three races, which confused him. "Wait, there is a third pony race?" "Mhm, the unicorns!" Bubby simply shrugged, not being surprised that there were unicorns in a land of talking pony and pegasi, as Tommy had a big beaming smile. "Oh wow, this truly is a magical wonderland!" Gordon simply chuckled, still finding it hard to believe they were in some sort of magical pony land, but considering they had been fighting off an alien invasion a couple hours ago, it was a nice change of pace for him. "To be honest, I would not be surprised if there were dragons flying around." Cue Pinkie slightly giggiling as she informed Gordon. "Well, we actually do have dragons, so there you go!" Cue Gordon shrugging, as he was truly not surprised, while Tommy was even more amazed. "Wow, Mr Freeman, did you hear that, I get to ride a dragon!" Coomer happily nodded and turned to Gordon. "Gordon, I want a dragon." "Coomer, you are not getting a dragon." Gordon then simply sighed as the group continued to walk into town. As they strolled into the town, they expectedly got the awkward and weird glances from many ponies, some even running in fear, which Gordon expected. However, some ponies simply looked on with intrigue, and a certain mint green pony who was sitting on a bench in a weird way alongside her friend turned to the group, as a sudden smile struck across her face, as she quickly got out of her seat and rushed up to the group, much to her friends dismay. "Oh my gosh, are you guys humans? PLEASE tell me your humans!" Gordon reeled back from the ponies sudden introduction, before confirming her suspicion. "Uhhhhh, yes, we are humans..." "YES! I KNEW IT! HUMANS ARE REAL!" The pony did a hoof bump in the air before turning back to Gordon. "Names Lyra Heartstrings! Nice to meet you, human!" "Yeah... I'm Gordon, so nice to meet you too..." Another Pony quickly came up to Lyra and quickly began to drag her away, much to Lyra's dismay. "Cmon Lyra, let's leave them be." "BUT BON BON!" Bon bon proceeded to shoot Lyra a quick glare, which shut her up quick as they walked away, with Lyra waving goodbye, still having a big smile on her face. Gordon just shrugged his head as Pinkie pie spoke up. "You oughta meet our friend Twilight, she's a swell mare!" Coomer slowly nodded. "I believe it best that we meet this Twilight, Gordon. She sounds rather friendly!" Gordon nodded in understanding, as he turned to Fluttershy. "So where does she live?" Fluttershy simply pointed to the large crystalline castle, which Gordon was surprised that he or his friend had not yet noticed. "Oh wow, did not expect that. Alright then, lets go meet this Twilight lady!" Cue Gordon and his friend group waltzing off towards the castle. Meanwhile, in the pits of Tartarus... "Do you guys have your passports?" The question confused Tirek and Cozy Glow, as they looked at the strange biped, inspecting them. They seemed to wear some sort of vest with blue sleeves and black pants, as well as a helmet over there head. Tirek decided to be the first to respond, and with a question. "Pray tell what a passport is?" The biped narrowed their eyes, seemingly in judgement, putting Tirek and Cozy Glow on edge, before it responded. "A passport is an official travel document issued by a government that contains a given person's Identity. It enables its holder travel to and from foreign countries and to access consular assistance while overseas. The document certifies the personal identity and nationality of its holder. Standard passports contain the full name, photograph, place and date of birth, signature, and the expiration date of the passport. While passports are typically issued by national governments, certain sub-national governments are authorized to issue passports to citizens residing within their borders." Just when Tirek and Cozy thought the figure was finished, they continued. "A passport holder is normally entitled to enter the country that issued the passport, though some people entitled to a passport may not be full citizens with right of abode American nationals or British Nationals. A passport does not of itself create any rights in the country being visited or obligate the issuing country in any way, such as providing consular assistance. Some passports attest to the bearer having a status as a or other official, entitled to rights and privileges such as diplomatic immunity from arrest or prosecution." After a few seconds of silence, Cozy spoke up. "So... are you done?" "Yes." "Well, sorry to say, but we don't got any passports, mister." Cue a strong glare from the figure, before shrugging. "Understandable, you guys look like the type to not carry one. May I have your names?" Cue Tirek striking a dramatic pose. "I am the mighty lord Tirek! And this here filly is Cozy Glow." Cue Cozy giving a cute little wave. "Whats yer name mister?" "You can call me... Benry." Back in Ponyville... "Hello, Twilight!" Author's Note Yes, Benry did indeed quote the wikipedia article for passports.
Chapter 4: Hello Twilight!Twilight's Castle of Friendship "Y'know, Castle of Friendship is a pretty dumb name." Gordon simply couldn't help himself from making that statement as they slowly through ponyville. "I mean seriously, that's like calling... Oh I dunno, the Rhombus of Infinite Subjugation!" "I dunno, Mr Freeman, that sounds kinda cool!" Tommy stated, genuinely believing it was a good name. "Tommy, no it does not, it sounds horrible!" "It's pretty cool, Gordon." Coomer plain and simply said, not caring for Gordon's opinion as he shot it down. "I- Ugh, I give up, you win." "Yay!" Applejack couldn't help but chuckle at the little conversation the humans had with each other. Sure, it sounded more like an argument, but she could tell it was just petty little bickering between friends. Of course, she had to keep herself from bursting out laughing as Coomer broke out into a victory dance. "I have demonstrated the superiority of my opinion, and as such, have claimed victory!" Gordon simply facepalmed as Tommy joined in, while Bubby just sighed. "For a scientist, he doesn't act scientific." "Neither do you, Bubby." "Fair point." As the group continued to walk, the massive crystal castle came into view, it's bright shimmering material bouncing off sunlight, which beamed right into Gordon's eyes. "AH FUCK- My eyes!" Applejack just simply chuckled. "Yeah, it has a tendency to do that alot, but don't worry, it gets better the closer you are." "I don't think that's how it works, but okay." Bubby's jaw proceeded to completely gape as he looked at the large castle in front of him. "Is that entire damn thing made out of crystals?" "Yeperoni!" "Fuck, must've been expensive to build, plus it looks like it's build on top of a tree." "Well, it wasn't exactly built, and it was based off Twilight's old tree house library!" Pinkie pie happily exclaimed, as Tommy made a noise of pure fascination. "Aw man, living in a tree house must be cool." "Yeah, too bad it got blown up." The humans all made a noise of confusion. "The fuck you mean blown up? I thought this land was all peaceful and shit." Gordon said, visibly confused. "Well, you see, there was this big centaur named Tirek, and he was a real meany head, and tried to steal all our magic, then he blew up Twilight's house, but she managed to make a brand new castle using her magic!" "... You know what? That explanation ain't so bad when I compare it to the shit I saw back in black mesa." Coomer nodded. "Indeed, the horrors we witnessed were beyond explanation or reason!" Bubby visibly shivered at remembering the many dangerous lifeforms they had fought. The peeper puppies, the zombies, the squid things, vorti-somethings, and those damn alien soldiers. And don't even get him started on that weird tentacle monster in the rocket testing lab, that thing was nightmare fuel. Plus, there was that big ol mommy spider thing they fought in the alien dimension, which he was pretty was called Xen, but yeah, not a fun experience, AT ALL. "Yeah, but just like the military, we wiped those fuckers out!" "Indeed, the entirety of the united states military was brought to it's knees!" Applejack could only nervously chuckle, still nervous from hearing how these humans were somehow powerful enough to destroy an entire nation's military. At least they were friendly enough to be trusted. As they got closer to the crystal castle, Coomer let out a confused hum as he inspected it's size. "Hmm, looks a bit smaller than I thought!" Pinkie Pie happily giggled in response. "Don't worry, it's bigger on the inside!" Bubby was utterly confused when he heard that one. "Is it a damn TARDIS?" A certain Doctor slightly looked up confused when he heard that statement. Simply sighing, Gordon slowly walked up the steps with the rest of the gang, as Fluttershy walked up to the large door and rang the doorbell. "Huh, didn't expect it to have a doorbell for some reason." Gordon then turned to his 'human' friends. "Alright guys, be on your best behavior, don't shoot anything, don't blow shit up, don't punch anything, and- For god sake Tommy what are you doing?" Tommy, who was currently sniffing Pinkie's mane, looked up from his important duty. "But she smells like candy!" Pinkie lightly giggled while Gordon facepalmed, turning back to the door just in time to see it open, and out popped the head of a tiny little purple dragon with green spines, as they smiled. "Oh hey girls-" Spike froze upon the sight of the strange tall figures standing with the mares, especially the one sniffing Pinkie's hair, to which she did not even object. "Uhhhhh... Who are they?" "Spike, these fine folks are humans, as ya could probably tell." Instantly, Spike's eyes lit up in fascination, as he approached and quickly inspected the humans, before nodding. "Yep, they are indeed human, but how did they get here without using the mirror?" Applejack simply shrugged, while Gordon had a confused look on his face, before deciding not to question it, deciding to simply introduce himself. "Well, my names Gordon Freeman, then there's Coomer, Bubby, and Tommy. And you are?" "Names Spike, nice to meet you Mr Freeman!" Spike said as he happily shook Gordon's hand. "Heh, I'm shaking a baby dragon's hand... Not the weirdest thing i've seen, but still weird." Spike chortled a bit, as he turned to Applejack. "I'm guessing your all here to see Twilight?" Applejack nodded, as did Fluttershy. "Well alright then, c'mon in!" Spike gestured for the group to follow him inside the castle, which they did, and instantly Bubby understood what Pinkie meant by 'Bigger on the inside'. "Holy crap, this place is huge!" "Yep, it's pretty big! Anyways, c'mon, Twi should be in the library." After a bit of walking through the long winding crystal corridors, with Tommy accidentally getting lost several times, Coomer resisting the urge to punch anything breakable he saw into dust, and Bubby still baffled by the utter size of the castle's interior, the gang finally reached the library, as they saw the purple alicorn herself sitting at a table, reading through a book titled 'Daring Do, And The Titular Tirade of the Tyrannical Tirek'. Hearing footsteps, Twilight looked up from her book, smiling as she saw Spike and her friends, before looking to the humans behind them and her eyes widening. "Ummmm... Why are there humans here?" Applejack nervously chuckled. "It's a long story..." Tartarus. "And that's how I wound up here in Tartarus!" As Cozy Glow finished her long dramatic presentation on the events leading to her imprisonment, both Benry and Tirke clapped, applauding the young filly's dramatic performance, as she bowed. However, as he clapped, Benry soon came to a realization, as he asked the two a question. "Wow, so, you guys both tried to steal all the magic in this place called Equestria, right?" They both nodded. "Alright, and with this magic, you could theoretically do anything, right?" "I suppose so..." "Could you give me another month of Playstation plus?" "Uhhhhh... Sure?" Benry's eyes lit up, as he proceeded to pull out a rocket launcher, and as the two villains took a step back, Benry proceeded to blow both cages open, and as the two villains stepped out, Benry simply smiled a maniacal grin. "It's time for a break out."
