Version: 1

Crappy job? Check.

No distinguishing features? Check.

Tiny apartment? Check.

Constant use of obscure pop-culture references no one else knows? Check.

Minimum number of friends to maintain sanity? BIG check.

Anon was a textbook average male human.

On his days off he regularly went to The Wash, the best club in town. Mostly for the banging music, but they also had pretty good food. The beer selection was really bland though. Whatever. You can't win every point in the game of life. Anon still went just to throw his arms and legs around and not care who snickered at his terrible moves.

However, during this visit, he felt like something was off. Normally the place was packed on a Friday night. It wasn't like the place was currently empty, but there must have been less than half the normal attendees. The music was pounding in his chest, the colorful lights were flashing, and everyone there was having fun like usual though. So Anon shrugged off the low body count and strutted his way onto the checkered dance floor so he could properly bounce with the beat. After a few minutes he was lost in the crowd of ponies and humans. One moment he was jiggling with a woman showing too much belly, the next he was rubbing backs with a stallion balancing on his rear hooves. Anon threw himself into the carelessness of the party, his mind not concerned with anything beyond his own enjoyment.

The doors of the club were thrown open with a dramatic bang. Some clubbers glanced in the newcomer's general direction, a bit offended by their antics. A lone unicorn strode through the double doors before they could drift closed behind her. She had a coat of golden brown fur, a baby blue mane neatly combed back, and an arrogant glare that bothered everyone who saw it. Most of the humans glared back at her, but some of the ponies looked confused as a tickle of recognition tried to make itself known. The lighting of the club rendered it difficult to really see the mare's features as she approached the dance floor with proud steps. When she reached the edge she stopped and flicked her mane aside. The DJ noticed most of the clubbers were no longer dancing and instead staring at the newcomer. The music faded away to an uncomfortable silence which punctuated the heavy atmosphere that came with the strange pony.

"I thought I made it clear I wanted the club to myself tonight?" she announced loudly.

"What?!" someone barked angrily.

The unicorn raised a brow. "Did you commoners miss the memo? I am Baroness Moonstone! I came to your stupid little town on business and now I want to have some fun. Get off my dance floor," she ordered darkly.

Many eyes widened in realization and terror. Mostly the ponies. The humans blinked in confusion or scowled. No one moved.

Moonstone growled for a moment. "Do you intend to defy an official order from nobility?" she hissed. Then her eyes sparkled with an idea and her frown evolved into an evil smirk. "Fine. I'll share the dance floor, but only after I remind you bugs of your proper place. Beneath me." Her horn began to glow and there was a powerful whine. Then with a flash the club suddenly seemed empty...

Anon felt woozy and cupped his head while stumbling about. One moment there was some bitchy rich pony complaining about others being in the club and the next... he wasn't sure what happened. Only that it was freaking bright! Where was he? The man glanced around himself trying to get oriented. It was harder than he expected. The ground was shining like the freaking sun, but he could make out the distant shapes of ponies and humans scattered about. They were really far away and the light that shown around them seemed to be a different color from the one he was standing on. There were also towering mountains on the far horizons. Black walls really. Kind of like the little walls around the...

"That's better," came a booming voice like that of a goddess from on high. And the reality wasn't far off.

The bitchy unicorn, Moonstone, loomed at the edge of what Anon suddenly realized was the multi-colored dance floor. And she was as big as the moon!

"Hey, put that music back on. I intend to dance until I'm good and exhausted," the Baroness ordered the DJ who she had not shrunken to the size of a dust mite. A powerful beat soon filled the air once more.

Then the mare stepped onto the dance floor and Anon felt the ground tremble. Each time Moonstone lifted a hoof he heard the sound of wind rushing and each fall of her foot created a boom like thunder. Anon saw the distant shapes of humans and ponies fleeing from the mare's path, but they were so small and she was so big and so fast... Anon didn't think it was possible to get out of her way. Crash after crash followed, punctuated by faint far away screams, as the enormous pony pranced right by the micro-sized man on her way to the center of the arena.

Once the massive unicorn was standing in the middle of the crowd of specks that were ponies and humans, she posed with her head held high. She grinned maliciously at her victims. "Now then, try to keep up. Because I'm a terrible dance partner and always forget to watch my step." Then the mare started to wiggle her hips to the bass that pounded from the speakers. Anon had to admit he was a bit mesmerized by her titanic bouncing flanks and swaying tail as it draped nearly down to the floor.

Then she began to move her hooves, leaping back and forth and spinning around. It was like watching a storm rage.

The ground shook like from an earthquake. Drops of sweat the size of lakes rained down. The wind her tail made as it swung blew people away. It was a massacre...

Author's Note

I can't tell you how many art pieces I've seen of a pony (or general furry) dancing in a club while a bunch of micros run for their lives below. So I made a flash fic for it. However, when it came to the giant dancing pony, I struggled to think of who I should use. I did consider making it Pinkie, but ultimately I didn't want to write an evil Pinkie story today. So I grabbed another semi-original character of mine: Baroness Moonstone. She is heavily inspired by Starlight Dazzle and I first used her in another of my flash fics called Rampage Addiction Therapy. I guess the therapy didn't work or this story takes place before those events.