Macro/Micro Flash Fic Collection Vol 2

by Blobskin

Rating: mature
Tags: Anthology, Gore, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Fetish, Violence, Sex, Death, Human
Length: 29165

A collection of size-difference related flash fiction. Unrelated and completely random nonsense.

Even more size related shenanigans. The stories in this collection have little to no relation to each other. They can be dark and violent, light and silly, or just plain weird. I write these mostly for practice, but also as a kind of idea factory. Most of these ideas are simply ones I don't know how to use to write a larger more proper story. Feel free to steal any idea(s) you want.

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The cover image was made by me years ago using Inkscape. It does not reflect the tone of every story.

Published 2022-04-12 22:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-01-03 23:28:11 UTC

Steve and Gem #3 Minecraft Team (Minecraft, macro, Steve, cute)

Version: 2

It was not your typical duel.

The word "duel" implied a battle between similar opponents. Probably wielding the same, if not at least similar, weapons. This was not the case. This duel was between two very different combatants.

A mighty iron fist crashed into the cobblestone wall with enough force to send pebbles flying across the room. Steve, with his strong body and quick reaction time honed from years of fighting, rolled across the floor to the opposite wall. He was breathing heavy, bleeding from multiple places and forming bruises just about everywhere else. He jumped back to his feet and positioned his diamond sword between him and the iron golem. The artificial guardian of the temple was also badly damaged. Enormous gashes had been carved out of its chest, arms, and legs. Even the glow in its eyes was starting to fade.

This fight was almost over, but Steve had lost his iron chest-piece mere moments ago. Already injured and with the most important component of his defense gone he didn't feel confident about victory. The man seriously considered cutting his losses and making a run for it.

The golem stomped forward with a menacing unnatural growl. Steve waited for his moment. It came. The golem raised its right fist for another powerful punch which Steve deftly avoided then countered. Another deep cut was driven across the guardian's chest. It staggered back a step and Steve instinctively went for another attack. Steve thrust his blade into the beast's gut almost to the hilt. The iron golem's roar was ferocious for a moment before petering out. The glow in its eyes vanished and the huge man of metal began to teeter backwards. Steve quickly withdrew his sword before it could be yanked from his hand by the dying brute.

Steve took a moment to catch his breath in the tight corridor. That... that had been more difficult than he expected. He knew iron golems were tough, but it had taken every pixel of his skill just to survive. He'd have to be more prepared in the future.

The Jungle Temple's loot was worth it though. Two magical tomes, a bit of gold, and two diamonds. Not to mention all the XP he got from defeating the guardian. It was time to head home.

Steve felt like he had spent hours down in the darkness when really he'd probably been in the temple for about one. Either way, the man sighed with relief as the sunlight graced his head. Then he sighed with frustration at the destruction around the temple.

Steve's partner was an enormous white horse named Gem. She was a force of nature at the worst of times and a goofy friend at the best. Today she had obviously been in a mischievous mood. When Steve had entered the temple, a sprawling jungle had choked the landscape. Even finding the lost structure had been pure luck. Now however, the temple was surrounded by a vast clearing lined with pulverized wood. Gem had been busy while he was looting the place. There wasn't a standing tree for at least 8 chunks.

Steve grumbled, upset by the pointless massacre of innocent trees. Gem knew he didn't like to be wasteful. The brat also didn't like to be left alone.

"Gem!" Steve called his very over-sized mount. Immediately he heard and felt her steps. Her hooves were their own kind of weapon. Against the ground. She refused to learn how to step more gently so he was always filling in the holes.

The huge mare was as tall as the largest jungle trees and her appearance was hard to miss as she circled around from somewhere behind the temple. Her face did not have a playful grin though. Gem seemed... afraid? Steve briefly felt confused. One moment he was ready to berate her for her games, now he was beginning to feel concerned. Had something happened while he was underground?

The mare moved in front of the temple steps and lowered her muzzle down to him. He instinctively reached up to pat her. She neighed in delight.

"What's wrong big girl?" Steve asked.

Her nose retreated a bit and her huge eyes took in his condition. Then Gem's eyes began to water. "You're hurt."

Steve looked down at his abused body. Yeah, he'd taken a beating. "It's alright. Just had a bit more trouble with the golem than I was ready for."

Gem swallowed but didn't say anything at first. Her legs twitched. The hairs on her back rose. "You could have died."

Steve rubbed his neck uncomfortably. He tended to avoid serious talks with Gem. She was too innocent and silly for this kind of thing. "Yeah, but I'm tough. So I won. Let's go home."

Gem wasn't satisfied. "I could have just dug up the temple," she asserted with a pained whiny. "You could have led the golem outside and let me step on him. Why did you go inside and put yourself in danger like that?!" she demanded.

Gem was really upset. Steve swiped the air in front of him as a calming gesture. "If you'd dug up the temple you might have crushed and destroyed the valuable items we came to get. And the golem would never leave the temple it was built to guard."

The massive mare whined like a whipped dog. "What was so important in that hole you would risk leaving me... all alone in this world?"

Steve felt like a piece of zombie flesh. Like utter useless trash. "I'm sorry Gem. I didn't mean to worry you so much. I promise that I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He made a "come here" flick with his hand which Gem obeyed.

Her nose was bigger than he was. The man wrapped his hands around the end of the horse's muzzle like he was hugging a tree. He gently pet her and whispered apology after apology. Promising that he'd never abandon his giant partner and he'd be more careful in the future.

Steve and Gem were a team. Man and horse. Friends. They cared deeply about each other. Woe to the fool that ever hurt either of them and earned the wrath of the other.

Author's Note

Maybe a little too cutesy. Also really got into making Minecraft references. I'm a dork.

Twilight's Ponies (Twilight, micro, cruel, hoof crush, death)

Author's Note

What? In the first batch of new flash fics, I had to have at least 1 dark gory story. Also kind of like the idea of a twisted evil Twilight. As though Celestia had been a blind fool to turn over the kingdom to the mentally unstable young alicorn.

Twilight's Ponies (Twilight, micro, cruel, hoof crush, death)

Version: 1

Celestia's love for ponies had manifested as a drive to build a prosperous nation. For what better way to spread happiness than to guide them in making a near utopia?

Twilight too loved all ponies. However, she also saw the terrible flaws in Celestia's designs.

Celestia allowed crime. She allowed evil. She allowed chaos. The true path to peace and happiness was control. Control of everything.

Implementing her desire for the world had not been easy. It had taken at least a lifetime. But now, over 100 years later, the results were worth it. All of Equestria had been shrunk and stored in glass cases. All around the Great Museum were sections of land scaled to various degrees. It was beautiful. Twilight was no longer a princess or something so silly as a queen. She was the goddess of ponies and she directed every aspect of their lives. There were no wars or outside threats to their mortal heaven. They had everything they could ever want. It was perfection.

However, on occasion, she had to deal with... escapees.

Twilight's face was twisted in a scowl as she stomped angrily down the halls of the Great Museum. The fine marble made a loud clack whenever her hooves landed. It was the only sound in the hall lined with exhibits and plaques. Twilight could not take the time to smile upon her little ponies for she was too busy dealing with the trash.

They had come from one of the larger displays so they were around the size of small mice. They wouldn't get far regardless. There were no places to hide in the vast empty halls of the Museum. For them it would be a multi-mile long journey to the front door. And even if they could get past its advanced magical protections, they then had to cross the Equestrian Wasteland. A hike that took days at normal size to accomplish. Only then would they have a chance of finding someone who could unshrink them.

No matter what they were doomed. That brought Twilight a small bit of comfort. Even if she didn't catch them they would still parish. Though she would be lying if she claimed she didn't look forward to these developments now and then. It was a chance to demonstrate and feel her power. Her true position and purpose.

Movement caught her eye. At the intersection ahead a blur zipped around the corner. Twilight snorted. The hunt was nearly over. Now it was simply a matter of punishment. The tall violet alicorn trotted to the four-way junction and immediately spotted the three pathetic ponies sprinting with every ounce of desperate strength they had. The goddess smirked to herself. They never gave up and begged for mercy. They always struggled to the last moment. So stupid.

There was no need for words as Twilight took measured step after measured step. Each time her hoof landed the pony in last place stumbled and slowed. It was trivially easy to catch up to him. Then she simply dropped her golden clad foot. There was a satisfying crunch and a wet squish. Red leaked from beneath her shoe. Twilight's eyes glinted with joyful malice. But while she reveled in the first catch, the other two had gained some distance. Not that such a puny advantage would matter of course. It just meant more walking.

Twilight almost pranced forward. Her steps creating stronger and stronger quakes that again made the last place pony stumble. Then she slipped on the smooth floor and rolled over and over. She foolishly took a moment to catch her breath and figure out where she was. By the time she looked up, it was too late. The bottom of Twilight's perfect golden shoe, stained red from the previous victim, was dropping on her. She screamed and was silenced.

Crunch and squish. Delightful sensations. Twilight tingled all over. It was nice to have this chance to crush evil again. It brought back fond memories of her naive childhood.

The last traitor had rounded another corner, but his path had not avoided her notice. Twilight walked with an exaggerated sway of her hips around the bend only to be disappointed. The foolish pony was just standing there gaping up at her in fear and exhaustion. He really thought simply breaking line of sight for 5 seconds was enough? Stupid. The rebels were all so stupid. When would they realize it was better to stay in the cages she provided for them and be loved? Twilight rolled her eyes and lifted her hoof. It was time to end this.

The little pony screamed something and tried to resume running. But he was too close. It took a bit of stretching now, though Twilight's hoof still landed firmly on his back and splattered him across the floor. His demise had been more of a pop due to excessive force. It wasn't as nice a feeling, but the pony had tried to run at the last second.

Oh well. Twilight shrugged and summoned the insignificant magic required to begin cleaning her pretty shoes and the smooth floors back to their mirror shine. Blood was only nice to look at for a moment after all.

The Little Race (micro humans, silly)

Version: 1

The air was charged with excitement and the chatter of bets. The warehouse had little in the way of furniture other than the table in the middle and the heat rays some sadist claimed were lights hanging above. It was dark outside, but there must have been over a hundred ponies crowding around the table. Two ponies there were very well known.

"20 bits says Anon takes 1st place," Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, challenged.

"Oh Dashie, have you so little faith in your star?" Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, taunted back playfully. "50 bits says Bob gets 1st."

Rainbow's eyes bulged and her nostrils flared. "50 bits is way too much for one race, Pinkie. I won't have any left to bet on the other events."

Pinkie grinned even wider. "That's only if you lose. If your star is as good as you think you'll have twice the bits to gamble on the other games."

Rainbow cringed. Pinkie could sometimes be smarter than Twilight. "30 bits."

"45."

"35."

"40 bits. Take it or leave it," Pinkie snorted.

Rainbow pouted in frustration. "Fffffffine. You're on for 40 bits."

Pinkie and Rainbow shook hooves in agreement. "A pleasure doing business with you Rainbow."

"Yeah yeah," the blue pegasus growled.

The two friends were startled by somepony shouting that the race was about to start. So they pushed their way through the crowd until they were standing at the edge. The table was fairly large and had a series of circles drawn around the edges. The race track. 8 humans, each a third the size of a mouse, were stretching at the starting line. Each of them wore a single bright color and a number, though the number was hard to see. The human in bright green wore the number 3, his name was Anon and he was Rainbow's favorite. He was fast. The human in white wore the number 7, he was named Bob and Pinkie almost seemed to have a crush on the little creature. He never came in 1st, but the bubbly earth pony always rooted for him.

The racing official was a pale yellow unicorn with a red baseball hat and a whistle. She gently informed the humans it was time to take their places, which they did. Then she counted down from 3 and blew the whistle. The runners were off and the room cheered.

Ponies stomped their hooves as they watched the race unfold. Pinkie and Rainbow were no exception. The pegasus could barely keep her wings from flapping as Anon began to pull ahead of the group. Meanwhile, Bob was still with the pack. He wasn't last, but it didn't seem like he was going to overtake anyone else. The racers progressed around the edge of the table to the halfway point. The group was starting to breakup and space opened between each of them. Anon was still in the lead. Two humans back was Bob, still not last, but getting further and further behind 1st place.

The race ended and Rainbow hollered along with many other ponies. Smugly, she turned to Pinkie and held out a hoof. "I win."

"Yeah, Anon was 1st," Pinkie admitted somberly, pulling out the hefty 40 bits to give the giddy blue pegasus. "But Bob tried his best. He's still a winner in my book."

Rainbow didn't hear that last part, too wrapped up in her sudden dramatic increase in wealth. Meanwhile Pinkie was looking down at the human in white with a proud smile. He was looking roughly as smug as Rainbow. He'd beaten his personal best time. That was enough for him.

Pole Dance Hotel (micro human, pole dance tease)

Version: 1

Andy thought finding a hotel room for the next few days was going to be a pain. Ponyville was a small town, there was no way they had accommodations fit for humans. Even getting around the place was going to suck. However, while searching the internet for rooms, the young man stumbled across something confusing. A pole dance hotel?

What the hell did that even mean?

Searching the name of the supposed hotel made things even more confusing. "Madam Berry's Double Twirl" kept getting him some kind of strip club. A pony strip club. But the ad he kept coming back to was for a cheap human scale hotel room.

So which was it? Was Madam Berry's Double Twirl a strip club or a hotel? Their website said it was a strip club, yet they had an ad for human hotel rooms. Andy felt like his brain was going to melt. Could they do both? That seemed like a strange combination if so. The horny part of the man's mind even considered the possibility of seeing a show or 2. He was going to be in town for the next 3 days. Did the room fee include shows? Knowing his luck certainly not. It'd probably be discounted though.

Andy called a "cab" and told the yellow pony with the box for a saddle to take him to Madam Berry's. The stallion blinked at him, loaded him up, and trotted to the place.

The cab pony dropped him off at the front desk where a violet mare greeted him. "Are you here for the club or the hotel?"

Andy glanced about the rather plain lobby. The open doorway off to the side obviously led into the club. He probably wasn't going that way. "I'm here for the hotel room. Though I do have a couple questions."

The mare tilted her head curiously. "Of course. What can I help you with?"

"The room is a little bit more expensive than the... other 2 places in town. Does that mean... shows are... included?" Andy felt himself blushing.

The mare giggled behind a hoof. "Honestly I wasn't sure what to charge for our special kind of rooms. Yes, shows are definitely included, but our rooms won't be much good for resting overnight. Because that's when the shows are. The rooms are also pretty small."

"I see," Andy replied with a little smile. So he would get to see the girls. "So... where are the rooms?"

"Right over here," the purple earth mare directed his eyes with a hoof. The counter curved towards the wall where a human sized door was.

After signing his name, paying for the 3 nights, and getting his key, Andy went through the door. It was an elevator that only went down. At the bottom was a LONG hallway. Andy followed the hall all the way to the end with his single rolling suitcase behind him. The one perk of being a human in a giant pony world was lots of exercise. The hall lead to another elevator which only went up. However, each button on the lift, except for the bottom floor he came from, was accompanied by a keyhole. There were 3 floors and 3 keyholes. His key was label with a #2 and fit nicely into the second slot. So up to the second floor Andy went.

"Each floor is a room?" Andy thought. Berry hadn't explained that part. Oh well. It was pretty obvious once he got in the elevator.

When the doors opened however, Andy was in for another surprise. The room was indeed small. The man had half a mind to go back and complain. The single bed took up at least a third of the room! The rest of the space was occupied by the elevator itself and a small cabinet. There was barely any space left to move around. Additionally, the room was round. As in the bed and cabinet didn't fit neatly against the walls because the walls were circular all the way around. At least the man could fit his bag under the bed. Though while he was doing so he noticed that posted on the wall was the club's schedule in big bright text.

Andy sighed and shrugged. A bit pricey, but he got to see free pole dances. Also the room was tiny and shaped weird. He could deal with that. For tonight he figured he'd just sleep. He'd been traveling all day. He'd go see the dancers tomorrow night. Andy changed into his pajamas and got into bed. He was soon out like a light.

Until someone else turned them back on with a whoosh of sound like a sci-fi door opening.

Andy jumped up in his bed with a yelp and stared at his room. All the walls were gone. No, not gone, just lowered. The curved walls were now all glass. The man slid out of his bed in a trance and crept to the great windows so he could take in the view. "Outside" was the inside of the club. It was like looking down from the top floor of a skyscraper, except below was a view of a bunch of pony sized seats in an arc around his apartment. No, a stage that his apartment was in the middle of. Andy gaped in confusion.

Ponies, stallions mostly, were already seated and whispering to each other. A few more were coming in through the doorway off in the distance. Now that he was pressed against the glass Andy could hear the ambient music playing. Something slow and boring. The man was clueless. What was going on?

Then the lights of the club dimmed. Then the lights in the floor of the stage shown brightly and almost blinded Andy who stumbled back and fell onto the bed of his room. While he blinked the spots out of his eyes, a powerful erotic musical beat began to shake the entire room. A voice that seemed to be singing in another language began to seduce his ears. Andy realized the show was starting. The human could barely hear it through the glass when the stallions began to whistle.

He turned and his mouth dropped.

Though the elevator to his room blocked most of the view backwards up the the stage, it was clear what had inspired the stallions. A mare stood on her rear legs, dressed in sexy lingerie. Her peach colored fur was highlighted by the dark fabric that tried to hide her body. Her forehooves, which were currently raised above her head as she strutted onto the stage, were fit into a pair of thin dark socks. Her rear legs sported a pair of equally thin pantyhose that were held in place by buckles hanging from her garter belt. A black thong tightly clung to her hips and a lacy bra did a poor job of obscuring her nipples and breasts. Finally, she had a collar securely fastened around her neck.

Andy gulped as the huge mare danced toward his apartment. Now he understood. The mare's pole, the most important part of her performance, WAS his apartment. He was going to get a truly front row seat to her ass and her pussy. All night long.

These apartments weren't good for getting sleep at all.

Hoof Sweat Blanket (Rainbow Dash, micro Anon, socks, sweat)

Version: 1

It was cold out. As far as Anon was concerned, winter sucked. Why couldn't it be summer all year long? The man grumbled as he wrapped himself in a "blanket" and shivered away.

It was at that moment that Rainbow Dash, the fastest, most agile, and hardest working weather pony in town, burst through the front door. A wall of freezing cold air raced through the house sending Anon into a new fit of shivers.

"Whew," Rainbow wheezed. "That was a hard day. ANON I'M HOME!! Where's my favorite tiny human?" she called.

Anon could hear and feel his giant marefriend approaching. She found him on the floor in front of a blazing fireplace wrapped in one of her socks. She snickered at the sight, barely holding back a laugh. "You cold Anon?"

"Y-yes. Very cold. Did you have to let so much of the heat out?" he growled.

Rainbow's ears pinned and she looked away bashfully while still dressed in her thick jacket. "Sorry Anon, I wasn't thinking. It was a lot of work today."

"What idiot schedules a blizzard?" Anon grumbled. "Who benefits from hitting towns with a blizzard? There's no point. It's stupid."

Rainbow chuckled and tossed aside her beanie. "Well somepony higher up thinks it's important to strike a balance. If heat waves in summer make trips to the beach nicer than some ponies must enjoy cold waves in winter." The pegasus tossed aside her jacket as she spoke.

Anon continued to groan and pulled the sock tighter. "I'm cold and I don't like it."

"I'm sorry Anon, I wish I could warm you up." The mare looked down at the socks she was wearing and was about to pull them off and toss them aside as well when a thought struck her. "Hey Anon?"

"What?" he barked.

"Is that sock warm enough?"

"No," Anon snorted in frustration.

"Let me get you a warmer one then."

Anon blinked. This was a pretty fluffy sock. Where was Rainbow going to get a "warmer one"?

The answer became clear in a second. One of the socks she'd just been wearing blanketed the man and hid him from the outside world. The heat and the pungent stench of pony sweat crashed into Anon in an instant. He quickly began fighting with the tube of fabric looking for freedom. The human gasped for fresh air as soon as he found it, throwing the damp cloth off of his head. Only to have a second one smother him immediately after. Rainbow laughed as he fought this one off too.

"A-are you trying to kill me?!" Anon panted, a bit out of breath from the struggle.

"Are you cold anymore?" she asked with a cheeky grin.

Anon glared. "That's not the point." Then he realized the chill was starting to hit him again because he'd not only escaped the two sweat soaked attackers but also his original dry protection. He began to shiver.

Rainbow noticed as well and rapidly ducked down toward him. With gentle hooves she grasped... her sweaty, but warm, socks and bundled Anon in them. His shivering died down but he might have turned a little green.

"This is so gross," he groaned.

Rainbow chuckled again. "Come on, I know you like how I smell."

Anon rolled his eyes. "That's your shampoo."

"Shampoo is only one ingredient in my scent," she said with a suggestive whisper.

Anon shivered, but it wasn't from the cold anymore. Maybe he could get used to this smell. If Rainbow really wanted to get into this sort of thing.

Gas of the Sun (Celestia, micro Anon, unwilling, fart)

Version: 3

Celestia pranced into the dining hall wearing a strange assortment of bands and gilded chains. Her prismatic mane was done up in a bun held together with a long golden needle and her normal accessories were nowhere to be seen. With each step she took her hips would sway far more than necessary, as though she were trying to flaunt for somepony. Not to mention she was clearly struggling to hold in a fit of giggles. The various delegates and nobles already seated at the table watched her curiously, but immediately averted their eyes. It was not their place to question the princess.

Unseen under the pale skirt that covered Celestia's flanks, a thin band of gold tightly wrapped the base of her tail and from it dangled a string of steel cable barely thicker than a hair, virtually invisible to the naked eye. Hanging from the end of this wire was a steel cage of equally minuscule proportions. The rods of metal that formed the prison were freshly welded and gleamed whenever a ray of light managed to penetrate the cloth sky. Inside, with a mere three feet of floor space, Anon the human stood in only his black boxers.

The cage rocked back and forth with Celestia's steps and forced Anon to cling tightly to the bars or risk bouncing against the hard metal. At the same time his eyes remained locked straight ahead at the huge wrinkled donut that was the princess's asshole. It was dark and foreshadowed the torture to come. For now though, Celestia's vent was clean from her morning bath and the air around him was fresh except for the speckles of sweat the giant mare had managed to work up on her way from the royal chambers.

Suddenly, Anon's cage was tossed sideways and he was thrust into shadow. He groaned and rubbed his back while his gaze trailed up to the orifice now waiting above his head. Princess Celestia had taken a seat on a velvet cushion. A gray waiter was immediately by her side.

"What shall her highness have this morning?"

Celestia's response was polite, but quick, as though she had been rehearsing it. "Three bean salad with a banana split for dessert. Oh, and bring me a tall glass of milk."

The waiter hid his confusion with a forceful nod before trotting off to give the strange order to the chef. Several nearby ponies exchanged glances. Whispers of "for breakfast?" were passed around. The princess said nothing and merely smiled to herself. Moments later the waiter returned with the bowls and gracefully slid them before his princess. Celestia thanked him and began her meal with a large gulp of fresh milk. She sighed happily then thrust her fork through the first bits of salad. Shredded cheese decorated the mix with a light dose of dressing to amplify the bland flavor of the green lettuce.

Breakfast was unusually quiet that morning and the princess's chewing seemed loud and obnoxious as a result. The moment her salad was finished the princess targeted her ice cream which had melted slightly from the lack of attention. The large banana had been almost completely buried under a mountain of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry scoops. Coating the entire delicacy was a rich chocolate sauce that had oozed into every nook and cranny. Finally, sitting on top of the dessert, was a shining red cherry.

Celestia happily devoured the confection until all that remained was the helpless cherry. Celestia ripped the pit out with her magic and tossed the fruit high in the air before skillfully catching it in her jaws. She giggled and rubbed her belly, already feeling the inevitable onset of digestion and all the consequences that ensured. Beneath her Anon was oddly bored. He knew what was coming, but it felt like he'd been trapped for hours and yet nothing had happened.

Celestia rose from her seat with a yawn. Luckily for her it was Sunday, her day off. So she merrily pranced out of the room with a few exaggerated sways of her tail. No pony spoke up or said anything as she broke into a trot and laughed her way down the hall towards the gardens. The constant bouncing rocked much more than just her prisoner.

Anon grit his teeth as he tried to ride the cage's wild swings. Then, like an impending volcanic eruption, he heard the gurgle. He froze and stared ahead at the princess’s anus. The world slowed down for a moment before time seemed to remember what it was doing. He swallowed nervously. The princess's stomach was already bubbling. It wouldn't be long now...

Celestia sat on a wicker sofa just outside the castle in the shade of a white awning. A short distance away, seated on her own wicker chair, was one puzzled Luna. The dark alicorn had been silently examining her sister's strange clothing and even more peculiar demeanor since she had sat down. Eventually she could stand the silence no longer. She tried to encourage Celestia into explaining herself by coughing. When that failed to yield a result, she did so again, with more obviously faked force.

"Hmm? What is it Luna?" Celestia asked gently.

Luna thought it appropriate to start with the simple stuff first. "What are you wearing?"

"Anon suggested it. His world has the most interesting fashion sense, don't you agree?" Celestia held up a hoof to show off the golden band she wore in place of her regular shoes.

"I see..." Luna nodded slowly. "Have you seen him lately? He wasn't in his room this morning."

"Oh, he's probably off getting himself into some sort of trouble. You should have heard the nonsense coming out of his mouth last night," Celestia chuckled quietly.

Luna narrowed her eyes and aimed her head away from her sister. Something was definitely different about Celestia, she could sense it.

Suddenly, a loud rumble came from Celestia's stomach and the solar princess closed her eyes with a smile. Then she leaned to the side slightly. Prrrrrbt.

"Ahh," she sighed.

"CELESTIA!" her sister screeched. "That is completely inappropriate of a princess!"

The solar alicorn continued beaming. "What do you want me to do? I had milk, cheese, and beans for breakfast. And a banana," she added darkly.

Luna stared at her sister in horror. "You know bananas give you gas, sister. Not to mention those other things. Are you trying to ruin your reputation?"

Celestia moved back in her seat and ground her backside into the cushion as though she were trying to scratch an itch. "Of course not sister, I was just planning on having a little fun today."

Luna's brow furrowed. Her sister was acting really weird. Suddenly, the air was filled with another fart and Celestia moaned. Frrrbrrrt.

Down below, Anon gagged and tears built in the corners of his eyes. Even with the few seconds of warning he had gotten from Celestia tilting the first blast had been the worst smell he'd ever endured. The power had been so great that it not only slicked Anon's hair back, but it had actually pressed his body against the bars. The second one, although quieter, had nowhere to go thanks to Celestia refusing to lean. So he sat in his cage, coughing on the stench but only inhaling more of it with each breath.

Luna visibly winced and pulled her head away. "I don't know what's gotten into you sister, but I believe there are other ponies whose company I would much prefer at the moment." And with that Luna rose from her chair and began trotting away, a grumpy thump to her steps.

"You have fun, I'm just going to-" frrrt "-sit here a while."

A lack of breakfast saved Anon the misery of vomiting on himself as yet another blast of gas rushed past him. After wallowing for a few moments he managed to pry his eyes open only to see the great sphincter above him tense in preparation for yet another coming expulsion. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth.

Ffffbpbpbpbt. "Oh yeah," Celestia panted.

Anon could feel the noxious fumes burning his lungs. Even his skin tingled with the strength and heat of Celestia's farts. "Please, I'm going to melt!" Anon pleaded.

Outside, Celestia's ear twitched and she raised an eyebrow. A quiet hum left her throat before she shrugged and stood. Anon gave praise to heaven when the multicolored tail above him began to wag lazily back and forth. The feeling of fresh cool air wafting around him made him breathe deeply as his hands slid down the bars. "Thank you," he mumbled.

Celestia rolled her eyes and began trotting through the gardens. "What a lovely day for a walk," she purred.

Anon groaned. "Please, I've learned my lesson."

Celestia stopped where she was next to an uninteresting statue and gave her rump a quick wiggle. Then she stuck out her tongue and farted yet again. Pfffffrrrrrrt. Anon, still nursing a fresh bruise from being thrown about like a paint can, desperately waved a hand in front of his face to try and defuse the smell faster.

"Mmm, not yet you haven't," she murmured. Frrrrrrrbbt.

As Anon gagged some more the solar alicorn began moving again, sending his cage bouncing with every step. For several minutes he fought to keep himself from knocking into the metal. The sounds of the palace garden, which he himself had enjoyed every now and then, were completely different at his scale or hopelessly drowned out by the sound of shifting fabric and the swaying tail above his head. The simple tweet of a bird became a dragon call and the rustling leaves became waterfalls. His wandering mind might have even found the experience enjoyable if it weren't for his position dangling between the princess's ass cheeks.

The accumulating aroma of fresh sweat didn't help either. Large droplets of perspiration began to build in Celestia’s coat and roll down her fur like boulders. A particularly large one even found itself snaking down the chain of his cage. Without warning, Anon suddenly found himself coated in the salty liquid. He grumbled and did his best to shake dry.

Pfffffffffffbbbbt. "Oh, pardon me. I don't know where that came from," Celestia explained to a nearby guard who had to shake his head to remind himself he was on duty and to return to his stone faced position. The princess moved away from him calmly and began giggling like a filly once she was a safe distance. "The look on that poor stallion's face."

She suddenly perked her ears as a massive bubble formed in her gut and moved towards her rear. She grinned evilly. "I hope you're ready Anon, because her comes the big one."

The princess lowered her front to the ground and stuck her ass high in the air. Clenching her cheeks, Celestia grunted from the effort.

Fffffffffppppppppprrrrrrrrrrrbbbt!!

Anon could feel his world moving strangely before the puckered ring aimed right at him practically tore itself open and force on par with a hurricane exploded out and threw him against the cage wall! The entire prison swung backwards and stayed at an angle to Celestia's backside for a few seconds until the huge wind created from the princess's latest fart finally died down and the cage was allowed to swing freely like a pendulum.

The moments following were hell. The air was on fire. Hot and spicy with acid that burned his skin and made it impossible to breath. Tears poured down his face and his eyes swelled shut. He tried to scream, but his lungs felt like they were melting in his chest. He collapsed on the floor and curled into a ball.

After a moment Celestia looked back at her flanks with a flash of concern. Her eyes narrowed and her horn glowed. With a flare of light she was back in her bathroom. Using more of her magic she removed the skirt and unhooked the bangle from her tail. Raising the minuscule prison to her muzzle she inspected Anon carefully.

The human inhaled the suddenly sweet air greedily and rubbed his neck and chest. Everything hurt as he turned his eyes to the mountain that was Celestia. He was equal parts grateful and equal parts confused. Wasn't he supposed to spend the whole day looking at her asshole? Had she not promised that punishment? Was she letting him out now? Why? Suddenly, he saw the spots dancing in his vision and realized how close to dying he was.

Celestia lowered the cage to her porcelain countertop and opened it, dumping Anon on the cold surface. Again, he looked up at her in confusion, his mind wobbly. Her long snout hung over him like the face of a god speaking from the clouds.

"Don't ever call my butt fat again."

He nodded as rapidly as he could in his nauseous state. "Yes Princess Celestia. The royal flank is quite beautiful today."

Author's Note

Once posted here on Fim as its own short story, I took it down because I was a pussy and didn't like all the downvotes it was getting. Now that I don't care I decided I wanted to bring it back for... whoever might be interested in this sort of thing and not have a Furaffinity account where this has been since 2015. I didn't want to ask a moderator to bring it back even if they could after all these years (because the rules say you can't take a story down and then repost it unless there have been significant changes) so, seeing as it is pretty short even for a one-shot, I thought I'd throw it up here. Pretty sure that's within the rules. Doesn't say anything about taking down short stories and combining them into anthologies, but something so specific might not get its own entry. Eh, who cares. Not like I plan to do so again.

Titan Chasers (macro, storm chasing, lore)

Author's Note

Based off an interesting picture. No worries, it's safe for work:

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/21500369/

Titan Chasers (macro, storm chasing, lore)

Version: 1

Cloud Ripper lived up to his name. Smashing and tearing through the clouds that had been left to wander the skies here above the wilderness. He was in a hurry. A big hurry. And the stupid fluffy white blobs were not helping.

A short distance behind him was his partner, High Sight. The pegasus was barely more than a colt. So young. Yet he could soar. And that was what this mission required. The two of them needed to be fast and they needed to fly high.

"Get out of my way," Cloud Ripper growled. His vision was nothing but white at the moment.

Suddenly, he emerged into open sky, leaving a huge gaping hole in his wake. For several seconds he simply basked in the freedom of open air. The sun warmed his fur even as his mane flapped wildly against his head. In that instant the pressures of his job and life were gone. Everything was going to be okay.

"Woah," a voice filled with awe came from behind him.

Cloud Ripper blinked and looked down. Then the tension returned in force. This was bad. Cloud Ripper's hoof jumped to his headset and pushed the button there to begin transmitting. He also had to slow so the wind wouldn't drown out his message.

"This is Cloud Ripper, we have eyes on the Titan. She is moving in a north-east direction cutting through Fine Dirt Woods. Though her pace is slow, the mare is definitely a large category two, possibly a small category three. She isn't watching where her hooves are landing and clearly has her eyes on the city. I repeat, the Titan is heading for the city."

There was static for a few anxious moments. "This is Control. We hear you Cloud Ripper. The evacuation is already in progress. Notifying the royal military now. You know your orders. Keep eyes on the Titan and update us regularly on her progress. Good luck and may Celestia help us." There was a click as the connection ended.

Cloud Ripper swallowed nervously as his eyes returned to the giant below crashing through the forest without a care. The swath of destruction behind her was hard to fully grasp from so high up. Each tree at least came up to her knees, yet her thick legs plowed through them carelessly and snapped the old trunks like they were poorly made pencils. It wasn't a worst case scenario, but it was undeniably serious. A lot of ponies would die if she reached the city before the royal military got to her first.

"How can you tell how big she is?" the rookie asked.

Now that he had eased into a glide High Sight was able to drift alongside him and talk.

"Experience," Cloud Ripper grunted. "See the pine trees she's currently knocking down?"

High Sight focused on the carnage below. He watched as several trees were crushed and shoved out of the mare's way. "Yeah," he said with a shiver.

"The largest pine trees grow to about 25 meters. Most of those are probably a little shorter than that. More like 15 to 20 meters. It's an old forest so the trees are likely on the tall side. Yet they are only just taller than her knees with a few brushing her belly. That's the tell."

High Sight quirked a brow. "The tell?"

Cloud Ripper rolled his eyes. "The one detail that let's me guess her total height. If the trees are just brushing her belly at 20 meters, her total height is roughly three times that. So... 60 meters. That's the minimum height to qualify for category 3 status."

"Oh!" High Sight gasped. Then with a new perspective he watched the mare for a minute as she continued her careless march. "What is the point of the category system?" he asked suddenly.

Cloud Ripper snorted. "It's a loose way of estimating the damage a particular Titan can cause. Bigger the Titan, the more they can destroy in a shorter amount of time. And it's 20 meters to a category. The smallest Titans are 20 meters, category twos are 40, category threes are 60, and so on."

"What's the biggest Titan ever?" High Sight asked as the mare below them crossed what would have been a wide stream with a single step.

"Category 5, starting height is 100 meters."

"No. I mean, what is the largest Titan ever?"

Cloud Ripper didn't answer for some time. They flew in silence as the Titan below them found a road that cut through the forest. Her pace was about to accelerate. Cloud Ripper called it in. Then they returned to following the huge mare in silence again.

"The largest Titan in the world is over 120 meters, at least, but nopony is sure of her exact height."

"Is?"

"Also happens to be one of the few Titans not drawn to large civilized areas. So she hasn't been put down. Yet."

For a few seconds they watched the large pony beneath them leave gaping holes in the road as she walked towards a helpless city. The royal military still hadn't arrived.

Trust the Offer (micro humans, stress, choices)

Version: 1

The tv was off. The computer was on the other side of the apartment. The only sound was the ticking of the grandfather clock Travis's father had left him. The blinds were slightly open to let the orange hues of the late day sun spill into the room. There were no lights on at the moment. There was only the slowly darkening rays of the sunset to cast long deep shadows across the room. Travis sat on the couch with his elbows on his knees, fingers laced, and his nose perched on the backs of his hands. His eyes appeared to stare at the bare coffee table in front of him, but he saw nothing.

Travis was lost in very deep thought. The riskiest decision of his life.

The offer was incredibly tempting. But it was also incredibly dangerous. If he was wrong, he would either die or live out the rest of his life in a cage. Tortured and regularly nurtured back to health just to endure it all over again. Or he could be loved and cared for. He could escape the mess he'd made of his life.

Travis sighed and rubbed his face. The stress was too much. The fear made him shiver and sweat.

Travis was a high school dropout. He had managed not only to flunk out but to get himself kicked out of school and home. It was just an accident. A stupid mistake made by a dumb teen...

Travis jumped up from the couch and deftly navigated to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and reached for a soda. He didn't keep beer around. The man didn't trust himself after what happened. He popped the tab and guzzled a third of the can down. Then he stood there staring at the closed refrigerator door. His thoughts spun and stalled again.

Take the offer, escape the inescapable spiral your life has become.

Don't take the offer, it could be a trap!

He closed his eyes and leaned back against the kitchen wall. It was dark. There were still no lights on and night had nearly arrived. In a few minutes the street lamps would take over for the sun.

The pony sounded nice. He'd "known" her since he was 9 during an online game of Palace Takers. Her gamer name at the time had been ExpressoMaggo. Her real name was Epona. Both were nice names. They'd "known" each other for over 10 years now, but only through internet interaction. Ponies would never be allowed on Earth. However, humans were allowed on Equuis. The problem was the restriction. You had to sell your rights...

Travis quickly finished off his soda and tossed the can in the trash. He stomped back to the living room and hesitated by the computer. The man's finger twitched with the desire to turn it on. But what difference would it make? The offer was always there. And so were the growing bills.

His family was either dead or not interested in him. His only friends were online. His job didn't pay enough.

But Epona could solve all of it.

Sell himself to the pony, become her property, and all the stress would go away.

But what if her entire identity was a lie? What if there was never any pony named Epona? The only thing waiting for him would be a cage and suffering. What if "Epona" was one of those psychopaths who enjoyed torturing tiny helpless humans like him? What if from the very beginning she was trapping him. Grooming him to be just another one of her toys? If he was wrong about her there would be no escape. Once you sold yourself to a pony there was no way out unless your master decided to free you. No rescue. No rights. No hope.

And fighting back was impossible. Ponies were the size of skyscrapers. They could kill an entire army just by falling on it.

Did he trust "Epona"?

Travis continued to eye the dark computer screen. One message. One piece of paper. One signature. One trip. No return.

Would he do it?

Compromise for a Dream (macro, living balloon, gentle vore, meta humor)

Author's Note

Take two strange fetishes and combine them. No more thought went into this than that.

Compromise for a Dream (macro, living balloon, gentle vore, meta humor)

Version: 1

Have you ever had a dream? A forbidden desire no other pony would ever understand? A secret?

My name is Wood Chip and I had a dream. Something I needed to experience. But there were two problems doing so.

First, I knew actually doing it would kill me. It was kind of a bizarre paradox. I was desperately hungry to do something I knew would cost my life, but I also didn't want to die. Second, what I wanted wasn't realistically possible anyway.

You see... I really wanted to be swallowed alive. To be devoured by another.

Yeah, I know. Super strange. Why are you silently backing away from me? What's with that stare? Hey, I just told you my deepest most personal secret and you're going to run off without saying anything!?

Jerk. What I was trying to tell you was that I found a way. I did it. I was able to be eaten. Sort of. I had to make certain compromises. You see, the solution came to me during the last Macy's Day Parade. I never watched one before. It was kind of cool. You should totally go if you ever have a chance. But getting back to my point, I never realized that the balloons are not just... balloons. They are actors. They are alive!

And in that moment, when a giant pony balloon waved at me with a big innocent smile, I swear the clouds opened up and the light of inspiration shown down on me. I knew how to be eaten and survive. Now I just needed one of them to help. I totally went into detective mode. I had to track down these balloon ponies and... ask them to eat me.

Luckily for me, being celebrities, they were totally used to fans making weird requests. I guess when you're surrounded by complete weirdos all day, like those kids who want to rub the balloons or get sat on, a request as normal as mine slipped in without more than a shrug.

I became the meal of one nice balloon mare named Air Light. She was a big softy. Patient and happy to indulge one of her fans. One of those newer balloons with a fuzzy exterior instead of rubbery.

She laid down in front of me, her huge legs forming a funnel towards her open maw. No saliva. Oh well. Like I said at the beginning of my story, compromises. I stepped onto her squishy tongue and brushed a hoof along the inner wall of her cheek. Her throat flexed and she tried to swallow. I stumbled forward. I was on my belly as she lifted her head and used her tongue to crush me against the roof of her mouth. My world began to tilt forward and the smooth surface beneath me provided little friction. I began to slip. I didn't just go sliding down to her belly though. Her esophagus tightened around me and halted my fall. She had a surprisingly good grip in here. Slowly, the walls eased up and I began to descend. My head was pointed almost straight down and I had my front hooves ahead of me like I was diving.

The narrow tunnel ended in a small chamber with walls that regularly expanded and contracted. I was in the belly of a balloon pony.

It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it was nice. I've probably already grossed you out you boring normie, so I won't bother going into detail how she got me out again. But I can tell you one thing for sure. I will never date a "normal" pony again. I'll only ever consider a balloon pony who can give me an experience like that...

Trying Too Hard (Mrs. Cake, micro Anon, butt, tease)

Version: 1

Anon liked Sugar Cube Corner. Great donuts and cupcakes and milkshakes. Good everything. And the staff were super friendly and accommodating of his small stature. Being human was tough enough in a world of ponies. Being an inch tall was even harder. So they made him his own little table that they placed on-top of a regular table and printed him his own menu. Talk about the royal treatment. Anon thought it was great.

However, after a month or two of regular visits to the sweet shop, Anon was starting to suspect something was off. Mrs. Cake tended to act... weird whenever she served him. At first it was easy to blow it off as simple equine body language he didn't understand. He couldn't use his human norms to measure pony behavior after all. Yet, as Anon's life in Equestria continued, it became ever clearer that human and pony body language was the same. Somehow. Which meant Mrs. Cake...

No. It was best not to even entertain those thoughts. They were dangerous on multiple levels. But Anon wasn't ready to abandon the sweets of Sugar Cube Corner so he'd have to be sneaky. Meticulously learning the Cake's schedule and who would be waiting tables each day. Then he'd only come on the days Pinkie or Mr. Cake were likely to be his server. After another month he was certain he had figured it out! The stress of navigating that mess was solved. With a sigh of pride and satisfaction Anon went to the shop with dreams of tasting something delicious.

His heart froze when he was greeted by Mrs. Cake, the big blue earth mare, in all her milf glory.

"Hello Anon!" she smiled happily.

Anon began to sweat and tugged on his collar. "H-hello Mrs. Cake," he replied nervously.

"Oh please," the mare blushed. "Call me Cup Cake," she requested with a little wave.

Anon swallowed. "Of course... Cup Cake."

She giggled. "Now, can I take you to your table, VIP?"

Anon wiped his forehead. "Yes please."

"Such a gentlecolt," she hummed. "Hop on. You know I'll be a smooth ride," she said while her voice dropped an octave and her brows lowered suggestively.

Bail. Bail. Bail. Anon's mind was screaming at him to make an excuse and get out of there. But he was also hungry and it was unlikely... Cup Cake... would do anything. He was willing to gamble it.

True to her promise the ride was smooth and nothing happened. Other than her cradling her hoof against her chest and sighing gently before she moved to put him down. Anon brushed it off and took his seat. He lifted his menu and quickly browsed the milkshakes. What flavor did he want to try today? Meanwhile, the mare loomed over him, having produced a notepad from her apron and stuck a pencil from behind her ear into her mouth. She was ready to take his order like a proper professional. Everything was suddenly so normal. Anon felt his shoulders relax and the tension bleed away. He made his decision and Mrs. Cake dutifully noted it down with a murmur about it being a "good choice".

The notepad went back in her apron as she stood and began to turn away. She took a step or two while trying to tuck the pencil back behind her ear, but then Anon heard the clack of a wood stick hitting the ground. "Oops," Mrs. Cake gasped dramatically. "Dropped my pencil," she quickly explained to Anon over her shoulder while blushing. For a moment the human snorted with amusement. These little embarrassing things happen sometimes. Poor Mrs. Cake, he thought.

The mare faced her backside towards the table Anon occupied and spread her rear hooves a bit. Then she bent down slowly, meticulously angling her butt higher and higher. Threatening to expose her private area to the minuscule human male at the table. Anon found himself facing the bubbly mare's very round ass cheeks. They overshadowed him like a celestial object in the sky. In a few seconds his shirt was drenched in sweat. If Mrs. Cake so much as wagged her tail he'd get a perfect view of her...

"Oh come back here you little rascal," the MARRIED mare mumbled as her snout bumped the pencil causing it to roll away from her teeth.

Her entire backside jiggled and tilted to one side as she took a step and stretched. Anon thought the muscles in his back would tighten so much he'd snap himself in half. He grabbed his menu and threw it up between himself and the towering butt. Even though he'd already ordered he desperately pretended to be searching for... something in its pages.

That moment cleared any doubt or alternative explanations. Mrs. Cake wanted him and she wasn't going to be subtle about it any more. If Mr. Cake found out about this Anon was a dead man.

Author's Note

I promised to write a story like this years ago. The closest I got was another flash fic that just had Mrs. Cake quickly butt crushing Anon. Wasn't really that good. So I hope this makes up for that half answered promise.

Also learned something interesting while writing this. Officially it is proper to put a period after any abbreviated word that still ends with the same letter as its full form. So "Mister" becomes "Mr." which still ends with an "r" therefor you're supposed to put a period. Interesting.

Sponsored (Derpy, macro pony, advertising)

Version: 2

Derpy Hooves finished off her coffee and washed down a last bite of muffin. That was it for breakfast. It was time for this gray pegasus to go to work.

The naked mare put down her mug with an unusually large clunk on top of the warehouse roof where the rest of her dishes were. Her... employees? Partners? Friends? They had yet to agree how to describe their relationship, but Derpy personally preferred the term "friends". Anyway, the mare could trust that one of her "friends" would clean them for her while she completed her route. Just the thought of the day ahead made the pegasus yawn. Oh how she missed her old job. Delivering mail was so much more interesting than delivering... ads.

Derpy's hooves left deep depressions in the soil as she stepped away from the warehouse and towards the dry dock nearby. Though this dry dock was not sunk into the ground or connected to a water source. The gray pegasus stepped between two almost free standing walls that were just taller than herself. The walls were lined with doors and walkways that were all much smaller than herself.

She sighed. "Derpy Hooves is in position," she reported dutifully.

Almost immediately two ponies emerged from one of the doors and stepped out onto the walkway just in front of Derpy and to her left. Looking down on her "friends" was a painful reminder of her condition after the accident. How she was stuck being large enough to hold as many as six ponies in one hoof. It made living her normal life impossible. Even paying for her meals was very difficult. But with some help from one of her "friends", a true entrepreneur earth pony named Quick Bit, they had found a way to make a living. Advertising.

"Good morning Derpy!" the unicorn on the walkway greeted her cheerfully. "How are you this morning?"

Derpy smiled down at the smaller mare, her eyes both managing to focus on her. "I'm good. What about you?"

The unicorn, Neon, grinned back. "I'm having a pretty good morning myself. Ready to get suited up?"

Derpy looked away and gave a bored shrug. She wasn't as excited as Neon. "Yeah, I'm ready." Oh how she missed her old uniform. The new one wasn't as comfortable.

Neon's horn glowed with multiple rapidly shifting colors as she opened a door in the wall that was short but very long. A seemingly endless sea of cloth emerged. A pure white body suit that was meant to tightly hug every curve on Derpy's now very large body. With the unicorn's magic and the pegasus's obedient movements, she was quickly suited up. She looked ridiculous and it was only going to get worse. From a much bigger door down near the ground emerged a pair of pony sneakers, also pure white except for their thick black treads. The shoes were meant to minimize damage to roads and grass as she walked.

Only Derpy's head and neck were free of the ugly white cloth. Though she had to respect this uniform because there was a good reason for the fashion disaster.

The earth pony, Quick Bit, had been staring at a clipboard the whole time. He was completely lost admiring his design. Only when Neon was done tying Derpy's mane and tale back did she loudly cough to get his attention. The stallion was startled for a moment. Then took in the fact the huge pegasus was now ready for him. He cleared his throat and stepped forward.

"Today's going to be a big day Derpy. We got us a great new sponsor this week whose looking forward to your services." His grin was filled with... greed. He wasn't a bad pony, but he was terrible at reading the room. Sometimes it seemed like he didn't care that Derpy didn't like being a walking billboard.

However, his words got Derpy to raise a brow, even as her lazy eye gazed off somewhere else. "Who did we pick up this time?"

"Princess Celestia's Royal Solar Guard!" Quick announced.

Neon and Derpy gasped. A military ad?! The earth pony continued to grin.

Quick pointed to another bay door on the opposite side of Derpy for Neon to open and retrieve the ads. They were all huge stickers designed to adhere to the pale cloth that now covered Derpy. It wouldn't be as white in a moment. Neon looked back and forth between the huge mare's body and Quick's outline to make sure she put each ad where it should be. The largest stickers, the military ads, were carefully stuck to both sides of Derpy's barrel. The prime real-estate that only the highest paying customers got. The other ads were then distributed based on payment across her shoulders, legs, and chest.

There was an ad for roofing on her front just below her neck.

There was an ad for shoes that was creatively placed right above each of her boots facing outward.

The toothpaste ad went on Derpy's right shoulder.

The pet hairbrush ad went on Derpy's left shoulder.

The exotic mare lingerie ad was discretely placed beside the huge mare's tail.

Finally, the uniform was complete. Derpy was thoroughly decorated in advertisements ready to parade by the roads and around the three closest cities. Derpy was a walking, living billboard. Quick Bit grinned with excitement. Neon tried to look happy, but couldn't help noticing Derpy's uncomfortable glances at the many stickers. Sure, this made a lot more money than using Derpy to pull huge amounts of cargo, but it wasn't her dream. Neon glanced at Quick and considered telling him, but she didn't yet have the heart to ruin this business venture, his big money making scheme.

Neon sighed, put on a big forced smile, and began encouraging Derpy for her day.

Author's Note

Based on an image of a giant Derpy (I think) who took up a job as a living billboard. However, as soon as I started writing this short I began thinking, "would Derpy WANT to be a living billboard?" She's supposed to be a mailmare and love her job, right? I didn't want to say she was just a miserable wreck because I myself don't regularly enjoy stories whose only purpose is to take beloved characters and torture them, but I couldn't honestly see Derpy as "happy". So I aimed for a more somber tone. Like she is unhappy, but not necessarily miserable. Then I threw in some other original characters to be ambiguously her "friends".

Overall, I don't entirely like how this one came out. I seriously considered going back and just making Derpy her classic bubbly self, "realism" be damned. But... I don't know. I myself have been in a dark mood lately and... I don't really want to change this.

Also, the trio in this story could loosely be called a reference to the original trio I was going to have for Macro Mare Modeling Agency. In my first plans for that story I was going to have three ponies, one from each of the main types: an earth pony, a pegasus, and a unicorn. Though I never did come up with names for that original trio before scrapping them.

The Last Barrier (philosophy, comedy, macro, insertion)

Version: 1

The atmosphere in the Control Room was a dark mix of despair, rage, and embarrassment.

The room was large and arranged like a staircase with the back of the room higher than the front. There were four levels each lower than the previous as you moved down the shallow steps toward the front screen which covered the entire wall. Each level was lined with computer terminals and their respective operators. The overhead lights were dim at the moment, so most of the ponies in the room were only illuminated by the red flashing alerts from their screens.

At the front of the room was a single slim pony in a button shirt standing straight and stoic. His cutie mark was the top half of a star with the bottom half seeming to dissolve into smaller fragments. Star Dust was the head of the Space Program. A genius in multiple fields of science.

Star Dust cleared his throat and turned away from the main screen to address the room of distressed ponies. Some of the brightest minds in the world were in that room waiting for his order. "Gentlemen," he began with a sagely nod. "We ponies have faced innumerable barriers in our journey of evolution." He gazed around the room, judging whether he'd managed to capture all of their attention. He hadn't, but he would.

"Once upon a time our kind lived in caves and feared the teeth of predators. It took muscle, wings, and horn to overcome that weakness. Once the separate races of pony were divided. It took a war and a brutal century long winter to cure us of that weakness. Once we were ruled by the false gods, the alicorns, and our great intellect was held back by their ignorance and conservatism. It took us two thousand years to muster the strength to overcome that weakness.

"For as long as any pony can remember we have struggled against the barriers of nature itself to reach higher levels of existence. To obtain knowledge and understanding that always rivals that our previous best could ever obtain. The universe has always seemed like it was designed to hold us down, filled with obstacles to keep us in our primitive caves. But our kind did not get where it is today by cowering in the dark!" he suddenly yelled, definitely getting the last few ponies in the room to look at him instead of their screens.

Star Dust began to pace on the bottom level of the room from one side to the other, head still held high and proud. "We have proven time and again that we are more than animals. We are sentient beings capable of far more than base instinct and emotion. We sculpted intellect and reason with our own hooves and created nations. We crafted tools. We harnessed electricity. We split the atom. And now we strive for the final frontier: space!"

He stopped with a loud stomp and a dramatic turn toward his audience. "For countless millennia our kind has looked to the skies and wondered what mysteries hid in the dark spaces between the stars. Yet our progress towards ever greater feats has once again been blocked. Another obstacle has arisen to prevent our ascension to the outer limits. It is this next weakness that we must overcome, and that we WILL overcome. Because we are ponies and that is what ponies do. We conquer. We break through barriers. We become greater."

Star Dust didn't expect an applause, but the complete silence he received for his motivating speech was a bit insulting. Instead, everypony immediately returned their attention to the main screen. The scene it displayed was...

A pony as large as a skyscraper, one of the infamous Titans, was currently using the space shuttle as a dildo. About two-thirds of the rocket were buried in her pussy right now as she crouched over the launch sight. Her feminine juices were flooding the empty field and washing away the ruins of support vehicles and structures she'd crushed earlier. Her eyes were rolling back in her head as she built towards her orgasm and the air was filled with both her musk and her lustful moans.

Luckily the sound in the Control Room had been muted a minute or so after the... show... started. Needless to say, the launch was aborted.

Dealing With Size-Shifters 1 (realism, dark)

Author's Note

After publishing my short story "Big Mares Don't Need You" I got into a bit of back-and-forth about the world building with an interesting fellow. While I really didn't give the world of the story much thought when I wrote it, this guy was REALLY interested. Here I like to think of myself as a professional with a high degree of skill, but this guy was asking basic questions and I only had the dumbest answers to offer. So embarrassing. So I started to really think about it. How would the military/government deal with size-shifters? What are realistic counter-measures? I came up with two simple solutions. Here is one of them.

Dealing With Size-Shifters 1 (realism, dark)

Version: 1

Single Leaf lazed on the couch. His gentle snoozing filled the air. The earth pony dreamed of his next giant rampage. Maybe somewhere with wider streets. Yes. He mumbled something as he squirmed and adjusted himself to get more comfortable. It had been a good day of destruction and he certainly needed his rest now.

In the time it would have taken Leaf to blink he had been violently yanked off the couch, thrown to the floor, and a heavy weight snapped around his neck with a loud metallic clunk. The stallion was suddenly awake and wildly looking for his attacker.

But... the room was empty? He was the only one there.

Then they appeared. As though a cloth had been pulled down, the room was filled with ponies in S.W.A.T. uniforms. And a particularly large pony was sitting on Leaf's back with an angry scowl on his face.

"You have the right to keep your mouth shut!" the officer barked.

For a moment Leaf was speechless. Then he snorted. Then he laughed. "You're actually trying to arrest me?"

"If you cannot afford an attorney, then that's too bad for you," the presumed commander of the squad continued.

Leaf rolled his eyes. "Stupid little ponies," he grumbled. "You have five seconds to get off me and beg for mercy. I might even give you a few seconds head start before I start--" the rest of his mocking was cut off when a large hoof grabbed the back of his head and slammed his muzzle into the wooden floor below.

"You are charged with mass destruction of public and private property, mass murder, reckless--"

Leaf roared with rage. "That's it!!"

Then he began to grow. The rampage was going to start again and his first victims would be these idiot law ponies who dared to challenge a size-shifter! He would stomp them. And crush them. And eat them. He was a god and he would not be denied his right to do whatever the HELL he wanted!!

Leaf's expansion rapidly came to an end when an unbearable pressure squeezed his neck from all sides. The earth pony glanced down in confusion at why he suddenly couldn't breathe and was stunned to find a huge metal collar fastened around his throat. The thing was made of thick steel. If he'd been standing the weight alone would have pulled most ponies to the ground in seconds.

But Leaf was a size-shifter! He cracked the pavement when he walked. He ripped open busses like they were tin cans. This thing was a flimsy piece of wet tissue paper to him! So he tried to grow again and snap the worthless thing.

It didn't work.

His growth halted once more and he couldn't get any air. Pain radiated to his whole head from his neck and dark spots started to appear in his vision. He struggled and squirmed, but he couldn't even get his hooves free from the officers to grapple with the collar. He could only vaguely make out their words as unconsciousness threatened to take him.

"He's still trying to grow? He'll kill himself at this rate."

"The second lesson when dealing with size-shifters private, they're stupid."

"What's the first lesson?"

"They're as helpless as anypony else as long as they're small."

Dealing With Size-Shifters 2 (realism, dark)

Version: 1

Golden Petal stirred her morning tea with a pleasant smile on her face. Around and around the spoon went as it glowed in her beautiful gold aura. Then she levitated the spoon out of the mug, tapped the rim twice, and set the metal utensil aside. The happy mare inhaled deeply the delicious scent. Then she took a sip. Perfect. Like herself. She filled her mouth with more of the precious tea and basked in the euphoria that rushed through her body. Petal's eyes drifted closed and her mind wandered away from the now.

What should she do today? The big question that had plagued her every morning for the last month. Ever since she had discovered she was a size-shifter. That day had been chaotic and scary, but the door was now opened for her... to be free.

The world and everypony in it now belonged to her. Nothing but her playthings.

Her boss? Crushed underhoof.

Her two ex-boyfriends who'd gone on to wed other mares? All four ponies were nothing but shit in her toilet when she was done with them.

That stupid bitch at the local grocery store always claiming her coupons were expired? Petal had decided she didn't need her limbs anymore.

Those ugly billboards that blocked her view of the sunset? Rubble.

Not to mention the random one-off events she couldn't even recall. Like that time she totally caught a stallion eyeing her flanks. She enjoyed crushing him slowly. His screams were funny.

Everywhere she went ponies fled these days. Even her apartment. All the other residents had disappeared. Probably because she had ripped the landlord in half. Golden Petal wasn't interested in paying her rent anymore was all. Why didn't the others thank her? Ungrateful.

Oh well. Thinking about the past wasn't answering the current question. What should she do today? She didn't have to work anymore. She could just take whatever she wanted and crush anypony stupid enough to try and stop her. She didn't have any more grudges to deal with. Was there anypony left she didn't like? Sometimes having absolute power could leave you totally bored.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a whizzing noise that seemed to fly right behind her. Like a bee going very fast. Or a gnat. And there was a sensation of being poked in the ear.

Golden Petal grunted and raised a hoof to rub her now mysteriously aching ear. Before she even touched it she felt an abrupt headache hit her and a numbness in her face. It made her pause as her thoughts next started to cloud. Like she had been drugged or something. The mare eyed her tea. Huh? Where was her mug? She had just been holding it. Her gaze drifted to the floor as her vision began to darken. Who closed the blinds? Her mug was shattered on the floor and her precious drink was everywhere. What a mess. Wait... why was there red on her chest? Blood? She always showered after going on a rampage. She couldn't have missed it. Where did that blood come from? She followed the steady stream of crimson up her neck and realized... it was coming from her head. Specifically her ear.

Petal touched her ear and felt a squish even as her senses all began to dull. She was barely able to glance at her hoof now soaked in blood before...

"Confirmed, target is down. Good shot Strike One. You saved a lot of lives today."

The bolt-action clicked as the stallion pulled back the lever and a single casing was ejected. He then pressed the button on his headset to respond. "Copy that. It was my pleasure."

The sniper then began taking apart his rifle and returning it to its case. Another successful operation. Too bad it had taken so long to get the paperwork through. If the monster had been a bit more aggressive the kill order would have come through much sooner. Damn bureaucrats. Only really cared when they started losing tax revenue or voters.

Or when they were the ones the size-shifters targeted.

Author's Note

And the second episode of "how would the real world deal with size-shifters". I actually found myself wanting to explore this idea even more with a short about a size-shifter who is afraid of their powers and has to visit a psychologist every week to constantly monitor them. Or a short about a celebrity who is a size-shifter and how they use their power in movies. But I stopped myself here. Can't go down that rabbit hole right now. I do like these two flash fics though. I always hated the idea that just because something is large magically makes it invulnerable. So it is cathartic to show "macros" who are not invincible and getting what they deserve for their cruelty.

Princess of Mants (micro humans, Celestia, Twilight, parody)

Version: 1

One week after Twilight became an alicorn...

Twilight stepped into Celestia's personal chambers with a nervous gulp. Being called to your teacher's room was usually a very good thing or a very bad thing. Twilight wasn't sure which this was yet. So her new wings fidgeted and her eyes jumped from one object to another.

"In here my faithful student," Celestia's heavenly voice called from the next room.

Twilight perked up and quickly made her way to the open door. Celestia didn't sound mad at all, so that was a good sign. The violet mare emerged in the princess's study. Filled with books, a large fireplace, and a comfy lounging carpet, the space was particularly nostalgic. Where was the solar monarch of the sun though?

"Come here Twilight," Celestia called again. "I have something I'd like to show you."

Twilight couldn't help the rise of curiosity. Tucked into the corner of the room was what looked like a large fish tank, but it clearly didn't have any water in it. This was new. What did her teacher want her to see? The pony approached slowly. The reveal was both amazing and confusing.

"Ants?" Twilight blurted in confusion.

Celestia giggled and shook her head. "No my loyal student. These are creatures called Mants. Tiny bipedal beings from another realm."

Twilight blinked in shock. "I've never heard of these creatures." She leaned in close to the glass and focused on a group of the creatures as they seemed to... look back at her. They were bipedal alright and seemed to have very pale shells. These strange bugs didn't have antenna or compound eyes. In fact, if she didn't know better, their heads had manes and normal eyes like a pony. "What are they? These are the most peculiar insects I have ever seen."

"That is because they are not insects at all," Celestia explained with a smile in her voice. "On their homeworld they are known as 'Humans', however I have come to calling them 'Mants' once they enter our realm. In their world they would be proportionally a bit taller than us ponies, but as you can see there is some kind of magical phenomenon at work whenever they cross into ours."

Twilight gasped and turned back to her teacher. "Is it a curse?!" she blurted. Was this why Celestia summoned her? To cure these poor creatures?

The white alicorn shook her head. "No my dear Twilight, they will be restored the moment they return to their world. The same is true for us as well."

Twilight felt her jaw drop. "We would shrink if we went to their world?"

Celestia shook her head. "No. We would emerge in their world as titanic beings. Your mere steps would create earthquakes."

Twilight stepped back and gaped. "Wow," she mumbled. Then it finally hit her. "Wait, another world?!"

Celestia tittered. "Yes, Twilight. Other worlds exist and there are a few means of reaching them." Twilight's mouth opened and closed several times like a stranded fish. So Celestia continued. "This is the matter I would like to discuss with you. The responsibility I now believe you are ready to undertake."

"Wha-? New responsibility?"

"Yes. You are an alicorn now and therefor a princess. But every monarch needs a territory and subjects to rule. I have done the hard part of finding you some land to guide and adorable little creatures to lead into a glorious new age."

Twilight's neck squeaked like a rusty iron gate as her gaze drifted to the... mants in the tank. "My... subjects?"

"No need to thank me Twilight," Celestia gushed with a big grin. "And don't worry, you'll do fine as the new Princess of Mants."

"Princess of Mants?" Twilight echoed in disbelief.

Author's Note

In case you've never heard of it, there is a subgroup of the macro/micro fandom that calls little humans mants. Usually they are only men, hence the name, but whatever. Thought it'd be funny to make a little reference to it.

This was supposed to be stupid. So if you think that, then I succeeded.

Rampage Addiction Therapy (macros, funny, references)

Version: 1

Broken Quill made his way through the empty fields and over the small hills. The clouds were still in the blue sky above the pony's head and the temptation to fly up and move them was strong. But the pegasus didn't have time for that right now. He had a... meeting to get to. He gave his blood red mane a flick and ignored the sweat that was building up in his black fur as he trudged toward his destination.

He came to the top of a larger hill and spotted one of his fellow students. He didn't know her very well, but that odd color scheme was unforgettable. A baby blue mane and a coat of golden brown. Baroness Moonstone. Unicorn and total bitch. At least he wouldn't be alone on his way to class. He hurried down the hill, cutting grooves in the delicate ground as he did so. Not that he cared or anything.

"Hey Moonstone!" he called.

Her ear perked and her head snapped in his direction. "That is BARONESS Moonstone to you," she snorted and turned her nose up.

Quill rolled his eyes and stepped up beside her. "Yeah yeah your highness."

"And commoners are supposed to either lead the way or stay behind those of royal blood," she growled. "To stand beside me is to--"

"Not one of your subjects," Quill cut her off with a smirk. "I can stand where I want."

Moonstone glared and her lip quivered. "I aught to tear out your... your..."

"Mane?" he offered teasingly.

Moonstone huffed and looked away. "You are insufferable."

"That's me!" he cheered with a smug grin. "The Insufferable Lord of Broken Quills!"

Moonstone eyed him from under her mane. "Your humor is truly that of a court jester."

Quill didn't know if that was supposed to be a compliment or not, but he felt he had antagonized the mare enough. So he didn't respond. The two of them walked together in silence for a while. There was no road to their destination. It was an isolated place. And for... good reason. He guessed.

"Why are we doing this?" Moonstone asked suddenly.

Quill raised a brow. "I don't know. Because we want to become better ponies?"

"Is that why you are going?" Moonstone glanced at him incredulously.

He thought about that for a moment. "I... think so. I don't know. Isn't that why you're going?"

Moonstone's eyes widened in surprise at him tossing the question back at her. Then she looked away. "My lands are... failing. The ponies are leaving in large numbers. Soon I will be the baroness of empty towns. Some pathetic fool told me that the cause was my... recreational activities." She swallowed. "I want to rule. So I must be... cured."

Quill blinked in surprise. It took a lot for a proud pony like her to admit she needed to change. Impressive. She knew why she was going, yet he didn't? This total bitch could describe in detail why she needed this lesson and all he could say was "I want to be a better pony"? His ears dropped and he bit his lip. What did that say about him? He wasn't stupid.

While he was lost in his thoughts they arrived.

A patch of rocky terrain. Dirt and stones making up a circle almost a kilometer wide. Six stones in particular were large enough for the ponies attending today's meeting to use as seats. Two ponies were already here when Moonstone and Quill arrived. Already seated and already talking.

The third student was another mare named Mellow Doll. The name suited her well from what he knew of her personality. Her mane was chocolate brown and her coat was a dark blue, almost purple. Mellow's eyes were always half-lidded. Even now.

The fourth pony was not a student, but the teacher. A changeling with a pink shell and large compound green eyes. Miss Azalea. The only thing he knew about her was the name.

Miss Azalea stood from her rock seat and clapped twice. "Good, the other two have arrived. Should we do introductions?"

Quill chuckled. "I've already met Moonstone and Mellow before. Plus, I don't think any of us needs an introduction. We all have a bit of a reputation you know."

Moonstone huffed once. "Well I haven't met this 'Mellow' before and it is only proper for royalty to be announced upon entering a room."

Azalea nodded to Moonstone. "I think we should do introductions just to be safe. That way nopony feels left out. Who should go first?"

Mellow just blinked slowly and silently. Quill shrugged, not really caring. That left Moonstone and Azalea to stare at each other, having a silent debate who should be first. The teacher or the royal. Eventually Azalea conceded with a nod and Moonstone proudly raised her head and cleared her throat.

"I am Baroness Moonstone!" she declared.

There was an awkward silence after that and the mare shifted uncomfortably upon realizing she was expected to say something more. But before she could the only stallion in the group decided to jump in.

"My name is Broken Quill!" he shouted and raised a hoof dramatically.

Moonstone glared at him as he held the pose and Azalea giggled. Then the teacher glanced at the last mare.

The blue mare sighed in boredom or disgust. "Mellow Doll. Happy to be here." She sure didn't sound happy to be here.

"And I will be your spirit guide through this journey. You may call me Miss Azalea. I look forward to our time together." Her smile was so genuine and friendly. Her voice was overflowing with kindness and understanding. She made Quill cringe.

"How long is this going to take?" Mellow asked.

"That depends on you," Azalea explained patiently. "These lessons will be as long or short as they need to be to help you three."

Quill glanced at the two empty seats in their... classroom? "We're the only students?"

"For now," Miss Azalea nodded. "The last two..." she looked down sadly, "canceled. So we're going to have some empty seats." There was a brief period of silence before the changeling took a breath and clapped her hooves. "Alright, let's get started. The first thing we need to do is realize why we are all here."

Why did that question make Quill uncomfortable?

"We know why we're here," Mellow mumbled.

Azalea nodded. "Yes, but I think it would be a big help to the others if each of you stated why you are here."

Mellow rolled her eyes and spoke with the most monotone voice he had ever heard. "We are here because we each have an addiction to rampaging in little pony cities."

Miss Azalea nodded. "Yes, that is the general reason. But I want to hear why each of you specifically came today. Why do you rampage? Why does it appeal to you? How did it become a problem for you?"

Mellow's eyes widened. Quill coughed into a hoof discretely. Moonstone sat up straighter while looking away. What a way to start.

Miss Azalea pointed her muzzle at Mellow. "Come now deary, why don't you tell us your story. We won't judge you here. This is a place of compassion and healing. Your fellow ponies know how you feel."

Mellow glanced at them. Took a breath. Closed her eyes. Then regained her composure. "I am not addicted to rampaging. I do not rampage. I just... have places to go. And other ponies are always... in my way," she growled.

Quill thought that was actually pretty reasonable.

Azalea nodded. "We'll have to talk about what 'rampaging' means in a bit, but that's a good start. Now what about you Baroness?"

Moonstone tensed. "I... am of royal blood. I have subjects that must... be reminded of their place. Below me. Less than me. I rule them and must instill that in them."

Azalea nodded twice. "But your attitude of superiority went too far."

Moonstone looked like she was about to challenge the teacher, but stopped herself. "Yes. My subjects flee from me. And not in a good way."

"Good good, realizing that our behavior is damaging our relationships and responsibilities is the first step towards repairing that damage."

Moonstone shifted uncomfortably but didn't say anything to that. Then the changeling was looking at Quill. It was his turn for the guillotine it seemed.

"What about you mister Quill? Why do you rampage? What about it excites you?"

The stallion scratched his leg. "Well... I'm bigger. So... I should be allowed to do what I want?"

The teacher raised a brow. "Is that really why you rampage? Because you can?"

"I... don't know," he admitted with a shrug. "It's just... fun. I like breaking stuff."

"Your cure might be as simple as getting a new hobby," she commented in a gentle scolding tone.

Moonstone buried her giggling behind a snort. Quill felt himself blush. Therapy was going to be tough.

Author's Note

Each character in this story is sort of a half reference to famous rampaging macros in the fandom over the years. Broken Quill = Snap Feather. Baroness Moonstone = Starlight Dazzle. Mellow Doll = Ultramare. Even took their color schemes and inversed them to get new colors. Though Starlight looks weird with inverted colors, Ultramare actually looked kind of badass. Especially when her trademark uniform turned bright orange.

When I decided on the premise, macros addicted to rampaging going to therapy, I had the brilliant idea to reference famous OCs from the macro/micro pony fandom. But when I went to write this short I had the crisis that... I couldn't actually remember many such ponies besides Starlight and Snap. I know there were other well-known rampagers, but I could not recall a detail or a name about them. So, in desperate need of a third reference, I grabbed Ultramare. Doesn't really fit, but whatever. Good enough.

Fluff Is Here (Fluff Puff, macro, funny)

Version: 1

An enormous earthquake struck the Northwest region of Africa. It was the greatest quake ever recorded and in the aftermath the cause seemed obvious. A mountain of pink had simply appeared in the desert. It was among the tallest mountains in the world and the crater around the object suggested an impact. That it was some kind of meteor that had crashed. Yet as obvious a conclusion as that was to make, it was also completely impossible. There was no way a meteor this large could have been missed by the world's many telescopes and satellites. Not to mention if something this huge had crashed into the Earth it wouldn't have left a mild depression, it would have caused extinction! So why did it look like the object was merely dropped? Why did it look so artificial? What was it?

It was time for science!

The team was assembled, briefed, equipped. The world's greatest climbers armed with the most advanced mountain scaling technology. It was their duty to explore this anomaly and learn everything they could about it. With salutes and hugs and promises to return, the brave team went out to conquer this new "mountain".

The entire climb was... odd. A solid week climbing up sheer walls, struggling to maintain their balance against the constantly shifting ground, and trying to navigate the endless forest of thin pink stalks that towered so high above them. They truly felt as though they had stepped onto an alien planet. Their various scanners and probes produced a stream of bizarre readings that kept the scientists completely puzzled. Chemical analysis determined that everything... was organic. Even the "rock" beneath their feet.

What was this thing?

They were nearing the end of their adventure, the final ascent that would take them to the highest peak, when it happened. Another tremor, but this one was larger than any they had fought before. The landscape didn't quiver, it actually shifted. The mountain was moving. "It's a landslide!" someone screamed. Everyone clung to a pink stalk and prayed.

Then there was a stillness. Everyone was high on adrenaline and their breathing was fast. The many humans turned to one another, mentally counting the faces. Was everyone accounted for?

A woman screamed.

Everyone jumped, looking in the woman's direction. They saw her finger pointed up at the sky. They turned to see what had frightened her. Had the peak fallen away? No. It was far more... bizarre.

A great equine face hovered in the air above them. Massive beyond measure. Large enough to shadow the largest city. The data suddenly made sense. It wasn't a mountain. It wasn't weird pink tree stalks. It wasn't "ground" beneath their feet. The whole thing was one massive organism.

A huge pink fluffy pony.

It was a god. An alien being comparable to landscapes and regions. There would be no opposing whatever its will might be. There was no hope for humanity against something so great. But what did it want? What had it come here for? What terrible things would it wrought upon the world?!

For too long the face seemed to stare down at them, judging them small and unworthy. The expression was blank, a mask hiding a higher level of intelligence that man could not dream of understanding. What would their fate be for touching its holy body?

The huge fluffy pink pony god stuck out its tongue and blew a raspberry.

What could this mean?

Author's Note

So I recently found myself thinking about famous OCs from the fandom over the years and good old Fluff Puff popped into my head.

Revenge of the Snack (anthro, vore, dark)

Version: 1

Clean Whistle fell into the acid with a defeated flop. He floated on the surface, on his back, limp and ready for death. The burning was mild, but that would pick up in an hour or so. The darkness was only a bit scary and the organic noises were disgusting. But the worst part was the betrayal.

Eaten by the very girl he'd asked to the prom.

Whistle felt sleepy. Even as his clothes, fur, and flesh just began to melt, his mind delved into silly philosophy. He considered the world and the two true races who inhabited it: the norms and the tinies. He considered also the cruel ridiculous lie both sides played. How everyone pretended that the two could ever peacefully coexist.

All tinies heard about the disappearances. The mixed schools where more than half of the smaller class simply vanished between freshman and senior year. Everyone knew what was happening. But the investigations and questions always went in circles. The truth was obvious, but proving a student had been eaten was literally impossible. Yet the tinies did not withdraw. The smaller folk did not flee from the mixed schools or the norm's society. The number one cause of death for a tiny was "disappearing", but they all knew it was murder. The tinies pretended. The norms pretended. It was wrong. So wrong.

"Equality" was a joke. "Coexistence" was a joke. "Peace" was a lie. The wars never ended. They were just fought in more subtle ways.

But both sides could play that game...

Lazily, Whistle reached down into his back pocket. Through the muck he drifted on he easily found the capsule and pulled it up in front of his face. In a few moments the acid would have breached the thin shell anyway, but there was something about breaking it open with his own hands that felt so satisfying. With a bit of strength, the test tube sized canister split in two with a snap and a white powder began to spill out. Whistle grinned darkly and tossed the thing into the distance where it made a wet splat and began to dissolve.

Retaliation. She killed him, that was certain, there was no escaping once you went down a norm's throat. But he had killed her too. The poison was special. A Super Vitamin capsule. A concoction of pure "healthy" powders. The problem was the dose. It might have seemed like only a pinch, but it was so concentrated that by tomorrow morning his "love" would be suffering multiple organ failures as the vitamins clogged everything. She had a little less than 24 hours. The best part? The doctors wouldn't be able to determine she'd been poisoned. Her tests would all read "higher than normal" vitamin levels, but by the time the tests were run the mix would have dispersed enough that only the most well-trained specialist would be able to determine the true cause of death.

This was the future. How tinies would fight back. It was a new trend spreading in secret amongst their kind. Always carry a Super Vitamin capsule. That way if you were ever eaten, your killer would follow shortly. A norm's death was always well reported. The mystery would drive the story even harder. Meanwhile, the tinies would also note the disappearance and know what had happened.

The nature of the poison ensured the most amount of time before the norm's figured it out and developed countermeasures, but by then they too will have lost an entire generation of children. The norm parents will have felt the sorrow of losing a child and not knowing why. Of demanding the police punish someone, only to be told they have no clue who to punish.

Norms and tinies will always be at war. Peace was a farce concocted by the dreamers and the delusional. The only difference between the past wars and the moderns ones was the style. And tinies always were good at subtle.

The next day another norm died and parents wept. The norms had no explanation. They were confused and angry. Norms weren't supposed to die mysteriously. But the tinies knew. And the tinies bowed their heads solemnly at Whistle's funeral. He died a martyr. At least he was able to punish his killer before he disappeared...

Author's Note

There are a number of stories with a premise of "norms" (macros) and micros going to the same school and the norms just... kill indiscriminately. They crush, eat, and kidnap the norms in droves in these stories. And every time I encounter these stories I'm just like, "what kind of retarded micro parent would send their kid to mixed school when the death rate for their kind is so high?" Because the law requires kids to go to school? With a fatality rate that high the tinies would say, "if we obey your law we will be extinct in 20 years max. Fuck your law."

It makes no sense. It's ridiculous. This kind of thing would NOT last. The tinies would simply withdraw from schools and even society in general if this was allowed. Even if it wasn't allowed and still happened. So I wrote a short about it.

Eris the Genie (Eris, Anon, exposition dump)

Version: 1

The hardest part about living in Equestria was the sheer innocence of ponies. The naive way they went about life. They were so... dumb.

Their "Friendship Problems"? Every time they came up Anon wanted to role his eyes so hard he'd pull a muscle. The solutions couldn't have been more blunt if a brick had fallen from the sky. No doubt after Pinkie Pie's tail started twitching.

But the human was dedicated to a simple personal mission: to interfere as little as possible.

Did it matter? It was impossible to know. But Anon felt like he shouldn't ruin their cute pony lives with his dark humor and critical perspective of events. He was a being from a world where life wasn't fair and morality wasn't so black and white. In a way he agreed with Celestia's initial assessment of him. "He had the potential to change the world," though what she meant by those words was probably very different from how he quickly came to understand them. He chose to stand back and serve as a mere observer, only contributing when one of his friends directly came to him for advice. He sort of became the sagely mentor character whose wisdom no one understood until it didn't matter anymore.

There was a certain loneliness to Anon's life. He couldn't express his true thoughts or share with anyone how he saw this strange colorful utopia. He was sure that doing so would only hurt the friends he'd made.

Then Eris came into his life.

The details were unimportant. Something about "reforming her" or some nonsense. Anon was sure this was the dumbest plan ever concocted. Another example of the ponies being too naive for their own good. The first time he'd met Eris had been thankfully brief because she was busy tearing reality apart. What could have possibly convinced Celestia to even try "reforming" her? Then he and the Goddess of Chaos hit it off. Maybe this is what Celestia had meant when she first met Anon. She had realized his unpredictable nature was much like Eris's chaotic personality and therefor the man had an in to connect with and tame her wild urges. The plan worked if that's what it had always been. Though Celestia probably wouldn't like how the two of them clicked.

Eris understood that everyone in this world was an idiot except for her.

She could see the overwhelming simplicity of everything. How every problem could be solved with barely any effort. How stupid all this world's "villains" were. How childish the populace was. Eris was both frustrated and amused by it. So she toyed with it. She poked at the edges of the world's innocence. Eris purposefully antagonized the black and white nature of things. It was how she coped with the loneliness she felt.

Then Anon made one of his subtle jokes about Applejack and Rainbow Dash being a couple and Eris couldn't stop laughing. It was that moment that launched their friendship and the Goddess of Chaos "reformed".

Slowly the two probed the other's ability to see the "truth" about the world and those around them. And they both quickly realized just how in-sync they were. So it became a regular thing for Eris and Anon to crack increasingly inappropriate jokes when the naive ponies weren't around and to discuss how the various "friendship problems" could have been solved so much faster and easier. It was their game and they loved it. However their bond started to stir feelings, and a question, in Anon. Did he love Eris?

Not wanting to beat around the bush, he confessed.

Instant friend-zone.

However, Eris did really like him and felt bad turning him down. So she began asking a different set of inappropriate questions. She wasn't interested in being his lover, but she was determined to make it up to him by unleashing a little chaos tuned to his desires. In other words, she wanted to know his fetishes so she could prank the unsuspecting ponies with them.

Anon had never told anyone he was a macrophile. He liked women who were much larger than himself. Eris didn't criticize or mock. She quirked a curious brow, but otherwise nodded along. Then she grinned. Then she cracked her knuckles and got to work.

Poor Ponyville never knew what hit it as random size-related shenanigans began to plague the clueless citizens. Anon felt a little guilty for the confusion and terror some of their hi-jinks caused, but this was Ponyville. They were supposed to be used to weirdness.

Eris made a great genie and she granted as many wishes as he wanted. The only thing she asked for in return was his company. Not to mention she also came to enjoy the random panicking when a pony was suddenly turned into a giant as they entered the market. Though Anon soon discovered an unfortunate side-effect of regularly seeing his fetish was a constant boner.

Eris had become a relentless teaser...

Author's Note

Originally this was going to be a quick of Anon asking Eris to be his girlfriend and her turning him down gently while offering him a fetish inspired wish. He'd ask for a random pony to be giant and the story would briefly follow that madness.

Then I realized that was just too much for a flash fic and I really didn't want to write a whole story, one-shot or not, about this right now. So instead I took more of an exposition dump / world building thing that sets up a running narrative the reader can simply imagine. I think it's a great starting point for many wacky flash fics. The only problem is how condescending I think I made Eris and Anon come across. They almost seem like assholes, but I couldn't think of another quick way to explore the perspective of two "mature" characters trapped in the world of a little girl's cartoon show.

First World Problems (macro pony, slice of life)

Version: 1

"So what's it like being a macro?" the reporter asked with excitement. No doubt she was thinking about the ratings this interview would get and not really considering how vague the question she had just asked was. But that was okay. Fiasco was used to this kind of carelessness. The little ponies could get away with it. She couldn't. She always had to put the well-being of others first, but maybe this interview would change that.

"It's full of daily challenges," Fiasco said with a dramatic sigh. "The trouble starts as soon as I head to work."

"And how does a pony as big as you get to work? I can't imagine you take the bus." Was that a joke? Fiasco wasn't sure if that was meant to be funny or insulting. She shrugged it off for now.

"No, there is no transportation large enough for me. One of my hooves by itself is bigger than any car. So I have to walk anywhere I want to go."

"No wonder you're in such good shape," the blonde little earth mare complimented. Fiasco suspected she fulfilled the old stereotype about blonds. Her charisma was... lacking, to put it gently.

"The distance isn't really the problem," Fiasco explained patiently. "I'm about five times the size of you normal ponies, so in a way the world is only a fifth the size to me. A trip that would take you 20 minutes takes me about four, for example. Even less if there are obstacles you'd have to navigate around that my longer legs can simply step over."

"Seems like an advantage. I wouldn't mind cutting my commute to work short." The reporter pouted.

"Except I have to deal with my own obstacles. It's hard to get around the city because I have to wait for ALL the traffic to clear before I can use a street. And don't even get me started on how narrow some of the roads are. You have no idea how embarrassing it is when I have to slip between two buildings and my... flanks... brush against the glass on either side." Fiasco blushed at the thought.

"Oh my. Being so big must give you a very different perspective of the city."

"You're telling me," Fiasco grumbled and rolled her eyes. "I'm just glad I have a normal job. Well... as normal as I could hope for."

"What do you do for a living Miss Fiasco?"

"Construction. I move materials around the site and aid in building. Most ponies will be familiar with me from the big renovation project downtown. A lot of demolition and construction going on down there needs heavy lifting and a mare like me is pretty useful."

"They have you knocking down buildings?!" the reporter gasped. Uh oh, damage control mode.

"Nope," Fiasco shook her head, projecting a calm atmosphere as best she could. "Too dangerous. My boss is afraid of flying debris. I just move the rubble after the demolition is done."

The reporter breathed a sigh of relief. "Then you must do the work of an entire team by yourself. You must be rich."

"Sort of," Fiasco cringed. "I make a lot more than your average pony, but I also spend a lot more. Do you have any idea what my grocery budget is like? And don't even get me started on rent. Or the regular fines I have to pay for the... accidents that happen whenever I go to work."

"Accidents?" the reporter froze up.

"At least once a week, sometimes twice, I step on... something," Fiasco explained nervously. "I've broken lamp posts, carts, benches. I even cracked the pavement a few times."

"What about... ponies?"

Fiasco licked her lips. This wasn't going in a good direction. Should she lie or tell the truth? She really wanted to lie for this question, but would it come back to bite her if she did?

Being a macro in a tiny world was hard.

Author's Note

I intended for this to be more of a silly story, something that makes you laugh, but it turned out a bit more serious than I planned. Oh well. The name of the hero, Fiasco, is simply a synonym for "disaster" which thesaurus.com spit out for me. I admit that I immediately fell in love with the name. It really rolls off the tongue and works so well for a big mare just trying to live her life without hurting anyone. Hope you enjoyed!

Pony Crossing (micro humans, macro ponies)

Version: 1

"Come on, we've got to hurry!" Tai shouted through the trees and underbrush.

"What's the rush?" Bob groaned, shoving a branch out of his face and snapping it off the tree it came from.

The two boys were fairly deep in the forest and it had just started to rain. The ground was slowly turning to mud beneath their feet as Tai repeatedly scrambled ahead only to have to stop and wait for his lazy partner-in-crime to catch up.

"I told you that it's really far and we need to hurry if we're going to get there with enough time left to do anything before we have to go back."

Tai had found something amazing deep in the woods and was desperately dragging his best friend Bob off to see it. But Tai refused to tell Bob what it was. An abandoned building, a cool tree, maybe even a lost logging truck left to rust long ago. The overwhelming curiosity was about the only reason Bob was still going. He could have been at home right now playing video games, but instead he was wandering around in the forest in the rain with his crazy friend. Such was the life of a child.

Bob caught up with Tai only for the manic boy to dash ahead yet again. Even with the wet leaves and uneven ground, he flew between the trees like he'd been doing it his whole life. Though to some degree he had. However, what caught Bob's attention this time was the wall of light piercing through the trees ahead. They had crossed the entire forest? That couldn't be! Bob found himself speeding up for the first time, suddenly sure that their long journey must be over. Maybe this was what Tai wanted to show him. The edge of the woods. It was a pretty cool thought. Like those ancient explorers who dared to venture beyond the end of the map.

That wasn't quite what it was.

A line three kilometers (two miles) wide cut through the forest. A field of grass, mud, and a handful of young saplings that couldn't be more than two or three years old scattered in groups across the space. And there were huge circular depressions all over the place, particularly where the budding trees weren't. There was no fence. There was no sign. There was no explanation, but the two of them knew immediately what this was.

A pony crossing.

Bob gulped. "Tai? Is this what you wanted to show me?"

Tai shook his head. "Nah. This is pretty cool though, right?" He glanced at Bob with a toothy grin. "But we've got to go further."

Bob choked. "W-what? How? There's no way through?"

Tai blinked at him. "Sure there is." The boy glanced both ways like he was supposed to do before crossing the street, then casually stepped past the treeline and headed for the other side.

Bob raised a hand and lunged forward to grab his shoulder, but stopped a single step beyond the trees. "What are you doing?!" he hissed after his friend.

Tai paused and glanced back. "I'm headed for the other side. Come on!" he explained simply and waved Bob after him.

Bob stared. "Are you crazy?! What if a pony comes through?"

Tai raised a brow that clearly asked if Bob was joking. Then he pointedly looked both ways. "Nothing's coming. Let's go now so we don't have to wait." The kid then started walking away again.

Bob felt his heart beating heavily. He didn't want to look like a coward, but this was super dangerous. Yet Tai looked completely chill. Bob glanced both ways too. He didn't see anything but fog in the distance. He gulped. His legs were shaking and his fingers were getting sweaty. The rain beat down on his head as he became painfully aware of how alone he was. He whined in frustration and charged forward, eager to catch up to his friend and prove he wasn't a coward.

Several minutes passed and they were almost to the other side. Nothing bad happened. Tai had not only been brave, but right. Bob was embarrassed. There was nothing scary about the pony crossing. He wondered how long he would have to endure teasing for this.

The ground vibrated.

It was incredibly subtle. Neither of them would have noticed if it wasn't for the puddle that was forming in one of the many shallow craters. Instead of the numerous little ripples of rain drops, one big wave brushed across the surface. The boys froze. Bob could see his breath. It was cold. He was cold. He glanced at Tai. Their eyes didn't meet. Tai was completely focused on the puddle.

The water splashed and the ground shook. One. Two. Three.

"Tai?"

They both looked up and saw it. A pony that loomed much higher than any tree. There was no skyscraper that could compare either. It was some pale shade of purple, but that might just have been the fog. It was still some distance away, but ponies were fast. Another hoof lifted. Then it dropped. The two felt the land shift under them and even heard a muffled rumble.

They ran.

Mystery of the Giant Hole (parody, funny, stupid)

Version: 1

The hole was strange. Strange and absolutely HUGE. It must have been the size of a football stadium. It would require special equipment just to measure the diameter. It was difficult to even see the far side it was so large.

Shake hummed thoughtfully. The white stallion was standing on the edge of the cliff brushing some of the dirt with a hoof. He lifted a clump to his face and inspected it for a moment. He carefully tilted his hoof and let the sandy earth slide off and be blown aside gently by the wind. Shake's beady black eyes narrowed in concentration. Then he grunted, stood tall, and turned to face his audience confidently.

"Meteors did it," he stated with absolute certainty. "That'll be 20 dollars."

Carl was a pudgy human currently wearing a yellow safety jacket and a hard hat. The man raised a doubtful brow. "Meteors? Are you sure about that Mr. Detective?"

"Just Shake is fine," the stallion grinned arrogantly. "And I've never been more sure of anything in my life. The case is solved."

"I'm not so sure," the second pony in the group spoke up. He was a crimson colored unicorn with a dark trimmed goatee. "This hole isn't shaped like any crater I've ever seen."

Shake immediately glared at his partner. "A crater is a big hole in the ground made by a falling rock, Fry," he explained aggressively. "I know what a crater looks like."

"But where's the meteor then?" Fry challenged, pointing down toward the center of the pit with his horn. "This crater isn't the right shape either. The bottom is flat. If a meteor had done this the floor would be--"

"It's a sinkhole then!" Shake barked. "Case closed!" He then faced Carl the work foreman. "I'll take my 20 dollars now. Cash will be fine."

Carl ignored the angry stallion. "I thought it might be a sinkhole too, but it's too perfect. The walls are straight and smooth all the way down, you see? Sinkholes form caves and tunnels."

Fry nodded thoughtfully. "And it's far too big to have been dug overnight. No equipment in the world could move this much earth in only a few hours. And where would they put all that dirt?"

"It's a rare bat-pony pit trap!" Shake announced suddenly. "Subterranean ponies burrowed up from the core of the planet and are getting ready to invade the surface. The case is now solved. Can we go now?" he asked with a frustrated grumble.

Carl only gave the white pony a glance before turning back to Fry. "There was also the huge earthquake that hit in the middle of the night. But that don't make no sense either."

Fry rubbed his chin, eyes still staring into the hole. "The nearest fault line is 300 kilometers (200 miles) west at least."

"These mountains do have their rare tremors. Rock slides and stuff. But nothing above a 4.0 on the scale, you know?"

"How big was the one last night?"

"It lasted only a few seconds and it was so strong none of the equipment could measure it right. Unless it was the largest quake ever recorded. All the lines went off the scale." Carl quickly removed his hard hat to scratch his bald head.

"Earthquakes have been migrating for years," Shake hissed. "Obviously building a dam here has angered the Earth gods and this is their holy punishment."

"You know, you might be right Shake," Fry said with a glint of an idea in his eye.

Shake seemed confused for a moment. Then quickly puffed out his chest and smirked. "Of course I'm right. I'm a detective. I deal with this kind of stuff all the time."

Fry turned back to Carl. "Has there been a lot of protests? I understand there are some groups who don't approve of the dam."

"We've had a couple of yocals breaking into the camp to steal keys or deflate our tires. Nothing serious though. And I don't see how some dumb kids could do... that," Carl huffed as he vaguely gestured to the enormous hole in the ground.

Fry groaned. The foreman was right. And, despite his wild suggestions, Shake had a point. There was no normal explanation. Only something supernatural could have done this. And a powerful one at that. This was most likely the greatest display of supernatural strength ever.

Something had created an enormous hole in the middle of the desert in just one night. No one had seen it and, thankfully, no one had been hurt. But what could do something like this?

Author's Note

Two references in one silly tale!

The characters are obviously a reference to "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", possibly the most bizarre animated adult comedy show ever. I think I did a fairly good job capturing the nonsensical laziness of Master Shake, though I just couldn't find room for a Meatwad character. The story was already getting towards the flash fic limit of 1,000 words. The second reference is to a story by Arilin on Furaffinity called "Smoke". In that story an identical mystery is afoot. An earthquake and an unexplained crater/depression in the middle of the desert. Strange, what could have done this? Though Arilin obviously did a far better job with the mystery and story than I did.

Picnic (micro Anon, solo, masturbation)

Version: 1

Nona was a mint green earth mare with a wild charcoal mane. She happily pranced through a lush grass field toward a small cluster of shady trees. Lightly gripped in her muzzle was a wicker basket which swung gently. While she appeared to be alone she actually had a passenger riding on her back, but he was too small to see from a distance. Anon was about a third as tall as a pony's hoof was wide, so lounging on Nona's back was easy and comfortable. Though the bouncing could give him a headache if she went too fast.

Nona stepped into the shadow of the trees and quickly put the basket down. With deft movements of her forehooves, she pulled a red and white checkered blanket from the basket and spread it over the grass. The mare grinned at her work then turned her head around to face the man on her back.

"We're here. Want to get off now?"

Anon stretched and yawned. "About time. My legs are aching."

Nona rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I did all the walking."

The man got to his feet, ankle deep in her soft fur. "And just listening to all those steps tired me out."

The mare snorted with amusement. "You're free to carry me next time then," she offered cheekily as she laid down.

Anon made his way to the edge, then dropped onto his butt. "I love this part."

"I don't," Nona mumbled worriedly as her ears pinned.

The man scooted forward and began sliding down Nona's side while squealing "whee!" Until he met the ground with a loud grunt and stumbled several steps. Then he sighed and flexed his back. "Ow," he whispered.

"Why don't you like using my hoof?" Nona quizzed.

"Hm? Because getting up and down on my own maintains some of my independence. Which is important to me." She raised an eyebrow at that. "It's a male thing."

"Ah, now it makes perfect sense," the mare replied with a hint of sarcasm.

Anon sighed. "Look, I appreciate everything you do for me, but no one likes feeling helpless. Or useless. So little things like this matter."

Nona looked away sadly. "I know. I just like being useful. And you're so delicate."

The little man patted the huge mare's side. "Enough of that now. Let's eat."

"Okay," Nona smiled and began pulling things from the basket.

Meanwhile, Anon strolled onto the blanket and randomly sat down. The man watched as his girlfriend placed a plate stacked with cookies and wrapped in plastic off to the side. Then came the pie with the glass lid over it. She also retrieved the fruit bowl that was far taller than himself. Then came the sandwich for Nona and the tiny fish for him. Finally, she pulled a large glass from the basket and a bottle of soda. They were now ready to relax.

And they did.

For some time they lazily enjoyed they're picnic. They shared old stories and laughs. They played silly games like rolling a grape back and forth. It was a good day.

Anon was drifting into a nap when Nona spoke up. "Hey, you up for an activity?"

The man sat up with a yawn. "Yeah, I could use something to wake up. Otherwise my sleep schedule is going to be ruined."

Nona gave him a very suggestive grin. "Are you sure?"

Anon knew that tone. She was up to some mischief. "What evil plan have you concocted this time?"

"Oh nothing," she giggled. "Just some adult fun is all."

" 'Adult' fun?" the man echoed curiously.

Nona rolled her eyes and, with a snap of motion, picked Anon up by the back of his shirt. The man's arms flailed and he might have panicked a little, but he was unharmed. He quickly relaxed in the mare's grip as he tried to figure out what she was doing. Nona moved to the opposite side of the blanket where she dangled Anon over her empty glass. Then she dropped him in.

Anon rubbed his sore butt and glared through the clear walls at Nona for a moment. "Hey, I haven't done anything wrong. I deserve a fair trial before you lock me away."

The mare snorted. "Hush you and just focus on looking up."

Anon propped himself against one of the glass's walls and glanced upward as instructed. He was a bit nervous. Was Nona going to pour soda on him and drink it? Soda was slightly acidic. It not only burned his eyes last time they did that, but it also stung his whole body. A soda shower was not really that fun. No, she must have had something else in mind. Anon soon realized how right he was.

Nona stood to her full towering height and gazed down into the clear cylinder for a moment. She smiled gently. Then she began to step forward over the glass. As the man trapped inside watched, the mare's fluffy chest and belly passed above like a blimp crossing the sky. Then Nona stopped when her rear hooves were on either side of the glass. Anon swallowed at the sight. His girlfriend's already leaking vagina loomed. Then it descended as the mare squat. The tiny human was quickly saturated in female musk and a drop of mare cream dripped into his lap as he continued to stare up. A single green hoof crawled down Nona's belly and began playing with her button as it emerged from its sheath. Around and around she teased herself while her boyfriend could do nothing but watch.

"Do you like this game Anon?" she teased with a husky moan.

"I-I wouldn't mind being a part of the action," he admitted.

Nona hummed. "No, you just sit there like a good pet and enjoy the show. I'll play with you properly later."

And so the mare continued to masturbate over the glass. Her hoof ran over her lower lips and her rear legs shook with pleasure. Her hungry sex tried to clamp onto the intrusion but was unable to get a grip. More and more of the mare's natural lubrication dribbled out and down onto Anon. The little man barely noticed as he continued to stare. Nona wasn't interested in a long show though. She soon plunged her hoof inside her vagina and began to furiously rub. The mare involuntary bucked now and then sending random cascades of additional juice falling on her observer. She plunged deeper and deeper with each stroke. Sweat ran down her forehead and her breaths came hot and heavy. She even looked underneath herself at her helpless boyfriend utterly absorb by her pussy. She grinned. Then she finished with a squeak and a squirt that soaked Anon completely.

"I love you Anon," Nona sighed in her afterglow.

"I love you too Nona," Anon admitted as he marinated in a waist high puddle of mare cum.

Author's Note

Just a quick bit of erotic. Saw something a few days ago about little men trapped in glasses forced to watch giant woman play with themselves and thought "I haven't written that before". So I did.

Dance of Death (anon, shrink, club, crush)

Version: 1

Crappy job? Check.

No distinguishing features? Check.

Tiny apartment? Check.

Constant use of obscure pop-culture references no one else knows? Check.

Minimum number of friends to maintain sanity? BIG check.

Anon was a textbook average male human.

On his days off he regularly went to The Wash, the best club in town. Mostly for the banging music, but they also had pretty good food. The beer selection was really bland though. Whatever. You can't win every point in the game of life. Anon still went just to throw his arms and legs around and not care who snickered at his terrible moves.

However, during this visit, he felt like something was off. Normally the place was packed on a Friday night. It wasn't like the place was currently empty, but there must have been less than half the normal attendees. The music was pounding in his chest, the colorful lights were flashing, and everyone there was having fun like usual though. So Anon shrugged off the low body count and strutted his way onto the checkered dance floor so he could properly bounce with the beat. After a few minutes he was lost in the crowd of ponies and humans. One moment he was jiggling with a woman showing too much belly, the next he was rubbing backs with a stallion balancing on his rear hooves. Anon threw himself into the carelessness of the party, his mind not concerned with anything beyond his own enjoyment.

The doors of the club were thrown open with a dramatic bang. Some clubbers glanced in the newcomer's general direction, a bit offended by their antics. A lone unicorn strode through the double doors before they could drift closed behind her. She had a coat of golden brown fur, a baby blue mane neatly combed back, and an arrogant glare that bothered everyone who saw it. Most of the humans glared back at her, but some of the ponies looked confused as a tickle of recognition tried to make itself known. The lighting of the club rendered it difficult to really see the mare's features as she approached the dance floor with proud steps. When she reached the edge she stopped and flicked her mane aside. The DJ noticed most of the clubbers were no longer dancing and instead staring at the newcomer. The music faded away to an uncomfortable silence which punctuated the heavy atmosphere that came with the strange pony.

"I thought I made it clear I wanted the club to myself tonight?" she announced loudly.

"What?!" someone barked angrily.

The unicorn raised a brow. "Did you commoners miss the memo? I am Baroness Moonstone! I came to your stupid little town on business and now I want to have some fun. Get off my dance floor," she ordered darkly.

Many eyes widened in realization and terror. Mostly the ponies. The humans blinked in confusion or scowled. No one moved.

Moonstone growled for a moment. "Do you intend to defy an official order from nobility?" she hissed. Then her eyes sparkled with an idea and her frown evolved into an evil smirk. "Fine. I'll share the dance floor, but only after I remind you bugs of your proper place. Beneath me." Her horn began to glow and there was a powerful whine. Then with a flash the club suddenly seemed empty...

Anon felt woozy and cupped his head while stumbling about. One moment there was some bitchy rich pony complaining about others being in the club and the next... he wasn't sure what happened. Only that it was freaking bright! Where was he? The man glanced around himself trying to get oriented. It was harder than he expected. The ground was shining like the freaking sun, but he could make out the distant shapes of ponies and humans scattered about. They were really far away and the light that shown around them seemed to be a different color from the one he was standing on. There were also towering mountains on the far horizons. Black walls really. Kind of like the little walls around the...

"That's better," came a booming voice like that of a goddess from on high. And the reality wasn't far off.

The bitchy unicorn, Moonstone, loomed at the edge of what Anon suddenly realized was the multi-colored dance floor. And she was as big as the moon!

"Hey, put that music back on. I intend to dance until I'm good and exhausted," the Baroness ordered the DJ who she had not shrunken to the size of a dust mite. A powerful beat soon filled the air once more.

Then the mare stepped onto the dance floor and Anon felt the ground tremble. Each time Moonstone lifted a hoof he heard the sound of wind rushing and each fall of her foot created a boom like thunder. Anon saw the distant shapes of humans and ponies fleeing from the mare's path, but they were so small and she was so big and so fast... Anon didn't think it was possible to get out of her way. Crash after crash followed, punctuated by faint far away screams, as the enormous pony pranced right by the micro-sized man on her way to the center of the arena.

Once the massive unicorn was standing in the middle of the crowd of specks that were ponies and humans, she posed with her head held high. She grinned maliciously at her victims. "Now then, try to keep up. Because I'm a terrible dance partner and always forget to watch my step." Then the mare started to wiggle her hips to the bass that pounded from the speakers. Anon had to admit he was a bit mesmerized by her titanic bouncing flanks and swaying tail as it draped nearly down to the floor.

Then she began to move her hooves, leaping back and forth and spinning around. It was like watching a storm rage.

The ground shook like from an earthquake. Drops of sweat the size of lakes rained down. The wind her tail made as it swung blew people away. It was a massacre...

Author's Note

I can't tell you how many art pieces I've seen of a pony (or general furry) dancing in a club while a bunch of micros run for their lives below. So I made a flash fic for it. However, when it came to the giant dancing pony, I struggled to think of who I should use. I did consider making it Pinkie, but ultimately I didn't want to write an evil Pinkie story today. So I grabbed another semi-original character of mine: Baroness Moonstone. She is heavily inspired by Starlight Dazzle and I first used her in another of my flash fics called Rampage Addiction Therapy. I guess the therapy didn't work or this story takes place before those events.

Wake Up (mystery)

Version: 1

Her head was throbbing. Pain came in waves, washing over her skull and radiating through the back of her eyes. The mare groaned weakly in her agony as memories and thoughts seemed to stir and mix in a soup that made no sense. Where was she? What had happened to her? Even trying to open her eyes burned. Her mouth was somehow dry and she was drooling at the same time. She could feel saliva leaking from her open maw even as she tried to pull her lips closed. It was then she realized she was sprawled out on her side with her head propped up on... something. It felt like a rock, but it was a bit crumbly too. Maybe it was a pile of gravel. Her ears were ringing so she couldn't even hear the stones shifting as she did.

The mare's limbs were heavy. They were difficult to so much as twitch. It was like her every muscle was paralyzed. For several terrible moments all she could do was breathe. Slow gulps of air. Her senses were at war, trying to decide if she was in pain or numb. Her fur tingled. Was that a breeze or a phantom sensation from her abused head? Memories still refused to arrange themselves. She continued to lie there while the ringing died down and her eyes quit rejecting the light.

There was a whistling in the air. Like flies or gnats. How bad was her head wound that she was being swarmed? As her mind at last began to collect, a mild panic blossomed. She had been hurt and it was likely serious. She had a vague image of an impact to the back of her skull. Something sudden and hot. Her breathing intensified, deepened. She managed to move one of her legs. Sand? The ground parted as she dragged her hoof across the surface. Her vision was still blurry with tears as she tried to make sense of her surroundings. She blinked repeatedly and turned her head. The stone crumbled beneath her jaw. It wasn't gravel. Where was she?

With a tremendous outpouring of will, the mare managed to lift her head and suddenly felt sweat dribbling down her face. She was hot, baking in the sun. A hoof swept underneath her as she tried to roll into a proper resting position. Her limbs ached as though she had been on a long run. She was suddenly out of breath and struggled to keep her eyes open. Consciousness threatened to leave her. It was like a dream. Nothing felt real. She tried to shake her head to wake herself up, but only succeeded in maximizing the pain in the back of her head. She gasped and grit her teeth, struggling to endure. The seconds ticked by and the whining of the insects died down. It was quiet as she mustered enough mental strength to try studying her surroundings properly.

She was baffled. Square gray stones coated the ground all around her except wherever her hooves touched or where her body had previously been laying. The blocky rock was incredibly fragile and disintegrated with the slightest touch. However, the strange geological formation only extended a few steps in all directions before being replaced by a green carpet occasionally cut by little black or gray lines, turning it into a patchwork green quilt. This region too appeared to be very fragile as she could clearly see two columns of circular brown dents leading over a small hill towards the horizon.

Hoof prints. They were... her hoof prints. And they led from her current position, through the field of stones, and over the emerald carpet. Now she knew where she had come from, but her memories were still blurry. She remembered... fun. She was laughing. No dancing? Maybe both? She rubbed her temple, trying to sooth the raging headache. A tiny sound made her blink at the stones currently beneath her muzzle. Were those... bugs?!

Alarm and disgust ran through the mare. This wasn't some field of stones. It was a hive for some breed of insects. Yet, despite her extreme desire to get away, her legs were still too weak and her energy too low. She was surrounded by little moving dots and couldn't escape. It was a revelation that made her want to cry. However, as her head turned away from the squirming movements in some hopeless attempt to distance her fragmented mind from the horror, her eyes fell upon the prints again. Her prints. They were the only set. She was alone. She had come out here herself. Why? Why would she step into the middle of a bug nest? The mare glanced down, trying to remember. Was there something important about these minuscule creatures? Reluctantly, but desperate to reclaim her memories, the mare lowered her head and faced one of her eyes down.

She observed the bugs scurrying movements for a time. She studied their appearance. She analyzed their hive. The sense of familiarity was overwhelmingly strong. She was so close to understand -- oh...

Her eyes widened as everything came back to her.

She was a macro, a giant pony, and she'd been in the middle of rampaging through a helpless little city when one of their "super weapons" must have hit her. She began to glare at the pests. They got craftier every year. When were they going to simply accept that they only existed for her entertainment? Stupid bugs.

Big Dreams (Celestia, macro, rampage, dream)

Version: 1

Celestia loomed over the city. A single hoof could barely fit between the buildings. Her barrel bulldozed any structure that dared stretch too high and compete with her godly body for a place in the sky. Screams carried up to her from the insects bellow. The white alicorn smiled evilly.

Celestia lifted a hoof slowly, so that debris could rain down. She carefully positioned her foot above a particularly large crowd that clogged the street. For a moment she let them stare up at her in terror. Permitted them to tremble in her shadow and consider how insignificant they truly were. Their pleas for mercy tickled her sensitive ears even as clouds parted around her muzzle so far above them all. Then she dropped her hoof and crushed them. The mare giggled like a filly who had just learned school was canceled for the day. Then she sighed, closed her eyes, and spread her wings.

For a minute she merely basked in the sensation of power. No paperwork, no nobles, no duties. She was a goddess who could do whatever she wanted. This was freedom. This was power. There was no force, good or evil, that could stop her. She was--

"CELESTIA!"

The white alicorn awoke with a start in her bed. For a moment she gazed around her decorated bedroom with confusion. Then she managed to focus on the guard at the door who had come to wake her.

"Celestia, your highness, it is morning. You have to raise the sun now," he said politely.

"Of course," Celestia mumbled.

A few minutes later Celestia emerged from her chambers with a yawn. The guard was waiting to escort her to breakfast. He wordlessly walked alongside her for a short time before suddenly finding the courage to speak up.

"Princess Celestia, may I ask a question?"

"Of course, my loyal knight," the alicorn nodded respectfully.

"What were you dreaming about? You were giggling and squirming quite a bit."

Celestia smirked. "Oh nothing. I was just lost in a little fantasy is all."

The Army ( micro, stupid, funny)

Version: 1

The unicorn had a dark blue coat, almost black, and a mane of silver. His name was Invoke and he was a great mage with dreams beyond those of other simple ponies. He was smart and talented, why couldn't others see the blatant truths of the universe the way he did? All other ponies were dumb. That was the only explanation. He was born destined for greatness, but frustratingly few other ponies listened to his wisdom.

It was an infuriating paradox. The rest of the world was too stupid to take care of itself, but also too stupid to willingly make him their leader. He would have to take power by force. Once he was in control the world would quickly become a utopia. However, how would he get himself into a position of authority without an army? He needed followers and a lot of them. So where?

Naturally, he turned to his greatest skill for an answer: magic. Invoke was divided between mind control and summoning. Mind control would be more subtle, but there was a limit to how many bodies he could take over. Summoning was much easier, but it seemed he could only bring forth so many.

Until he stumbled across a secret branch of summoning: mass calling. Spells specifically designed to materialize MANY creatures from the beyond, though their individual power was expected to be much more limited.

That was fine. From what Invoke had studied of history, pure numbers were usually the deciding factor in a battle. Skill was nice, but with enough bodies even the strongest warriors could be buried. So the unicorn mage threw himself into his studies, trying to learn the greatest of the mass calling spells. A single magical release said to summon an entire army!

It took months of practice and training, even for a gifted genius like himself. However, he soon knew that he was ready. His time to rule was now.

Invoke gazed upon an open field a short march from the capital. It was here he would summon his army then use it to storm the ancient city and seize power. He took a deep breathe to calm his nerves. Then he focused, channeling every ounce of his power into a single spell. Then with all his might he called out to his army. He ordered them to appear before him ready for battle!

With a mighty boom and a flash of light like the birth of a new star they appeared. Thousands of bodies standing side-by-side in columns and groups. An army fully equipped for a brutal campaign. Earth pony warriors with broad chests and heavy armor. Pegasi scouts decorated in light leathers. Unicorn artillery casters with amulet enhancements. It was a magnificent army.

Invoke stared with a mix of awe, horror, and exhaustion. His unstoppable force... was all of three inches tall. Each mighty soldier would have fit in a hoof. Oh they certainly would have been an intimidating force if they weren't all the size of newborn puppies. Invoke feared he had greatly underestimated the warnings in his spellbook of how much weaker the individual creatures of his great summoning would be. What was he supposed to do with this?

If he was lucky the world would laugh at him rather than put him on trial for treason. Though he honestly might prefer a trial to this humiliation...

Bottle World (micro Anon, trapped)

Version: 1

Anon woke up with a hangover. He had only himself to blame. So he cursed himself for drinking too much during the New Year party. Again. Stupid alcohol tasted so good when someone else paid for it.

The man was shaken from his pain and self-loathing when he realized he wasn't lying in his bed or on the carpeted floor of his apartment. He was lying in a patch of ugly brown dirt amidst a bunch of tall green plants he didn't recognize. They were as tall as trees, but their stalks were too thin and flexible. And they didn't have a canopy of leaves. The poles of green each only had a few, granted large, leafs. They kind of looked like super-sized ferns.

Anon's head spun when he tried to stand up and he was just grateful for the dull light shining down on him. Any brighter and he might have been trying to rip out his own eyeballs. As he stumbled, trying to stay upright, he took note of the path that cut through the not-forest to some other unknown location. Figuring anywhere was better than where he currently was, Anon trudged forward, batting away at any leaves that tried to prevent him from reaching his mystery destination.

The walk lasted all of a minute before the man crashed into an invisible wall.

Anon fell onto his back holding his nose and cried out in agony. There was no blood, but his headache intensified as a result. Anon glared ahead, trying to figure out what had attacked him. Yet he saw nothing. Or more accurately, he saw the abyss.

Anon's mouth dropped as colors and shapes warped out of any sense or meaning appeared ahead of him. It was far from the fun kind of distortion drugs tended to give though. Plus Anon was pretty sure he hadn't taken any during the party. The man shuffled to his feet and found himself leaning against the invisible barrier. It was smooth and a bit cold. Glass? Anon stared upward and to the sides. It was also curved. The man began to follow the curved surface.

On and on it seemed to go. Over dirt and the occasional stones or pebbles. More plants passed him by as he continued to follow the wall of glass. Until he came back to where he had started. Anon gulped at that. Realization hit him. He was trapped. For a few minutes he tried hitting the glass with his fists and feet. He failed to crack it. Now he was tired and hungover.

While he was resting an earthquake struck his glass prison. Thankfully it was a small one. The ground vibrated, but nothing else significant happened. At least until he noticed the new white and purple orb hovering outside the wall in front of him. The glass was thick and curved, so identifying it was really hard. But when his alcohol crippled mind was able to place what it was he was looking at, Anon gaped. It was impossible.

It was a giant eyeball. An eye as large as a house was gazing at him through the glass.

Then came a booming feminine voice. "Good morning!"

Anon covered his ears, but it did nothing to prevent the blast of pain. The huge woman didn't seem to notice.

"I'm so happy that it worked. When AJ suggested this little project I just knew I had to do something extra special with it," the giant woman babbled on, further abusing the human's ears. "And I think adding a human to my bottle world really makes it unique. I look forward to observing how you adapt to your isolated ecosystem. This is going to be a great 10 year experiment!"

The huge woman finally shut up and left the bottle alone as she moved to the other side of what Anon now understood was her basement.

In the long years of semi-isolation to come, only interrupted by irregular visits from his giant captor, Anon would learn much. Like that her name was Twilight Sparkle and that she was a unicorn. That he was now trapped in a bottle in a world filled with other colorful giant equines like her. But more importantly for him, he would also learn how to fashion a spear to hunt the giant pill bugs that shared his bottle world and how to collect water from leaves and how to build a shelter from moss and dirt. Anon slowly became a wild man. The apex predator of his isolated bottle world.

Worst of all, Anon had to face that isolation without the aid of alcohol...

Author's Note

Inspired by bottle terrariums. If you've never seen one, I advise looking up a few videos about them. They're kind of cool.

Hang from Her (micro Anon, nipple piercings)

Version: 1

"Pardon?" the snow white mare with her blue mane tightly pulled back in a ponytail asked completely baffled.

"Please Aegis. It was a challenge and there is, like, 100 bits on the line," Anon begged.

Should she feel violated, embarrassed, or bashful? If a stallion had mentioned her unusual piercings, she'd have kicked them. But this was not a stallion. It was a human smaller than a shot glass. A human she knew. He was also an idiot if she was understanding his story and request right. The guard mare, who was not currently in her armor or on duty, put her mug down near Anon on the bar top.

"Anon," she began slowly, "you do realize what it is you're saying, right?" Was she being threatening? She wasn't even sure what tone she was using.

Anon was blushing more than she was. "I'm sorry Aegis, but I'm short on bits and it was a dare and... you know. Could you help me out? Please?"

Aegis stared. "Anon, you are never to drink again. And I don't want to hear about you hanging out with those creeps again. They're trouble. Do you hear me?"

Anon sighed and his shoulders deflated. "But they're some of the few humans in Canterlot. Who else can I hang out with that is like me?"

Aegis cringed. Being alone was not fun. "They are not your friends Anon. I am."

Anon looked up a bit in surprise. Then he winced. "I'm sorry Aegis. I just want to impress them, you know?"

"By hanging from my nipple piercings for 5 minutes while I patrol?" she questioned with a raised brow.

"Yes?"

Aegis Gem took a long sip of her drink. The silence between them lasted a few minutes. "If I let you do this, will it... make you happy?"

Anon gaped, shocked. "Are you saying you'd be okay with it?"

The pale mare grit her teeth. "Honestly? No. It is horribly embarrassing. Also, I don't want you to fall and get hurt. You humans are really delicate."

Anon coughed. "That's part of the challenge. If I can hang on for just 5 minutes they'll give me 100 bits."

"You could have asked me for money. I am a soldier and we get paid pretty well."

"It wouldn't come with the same prestige," Anon countered.

Aegis snorted and rolled her eyes. "Like that matters. When do I have to do this?"

"I don't know," Anon shrugged helplessly. "Tomorrow?"

Aegis Gem stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Fine. But you owe me BIG for this."

Aegis was in her armor standing straight and rigid. Between her front hooves was Anon dressed in shorts and a sleeveless shirt. He had gloves too, but no shoes. Why is he barefoot for this? Aegis wondered to herself. They were in the middle of a random Canterlot street. Aegis was about to do her morning patrol which started with a simple circle around the block. It would take roughly 5 minutes to get back here. One simple walk and this bizarre game of manly pride would be over. She was doing this for a friend. That's what Aegis kept telling herself.

Her armor wasn't anything too fancy. Hers was standard steel plate with chain-mail barding underneath. There were a pair of thick leather straps that ran across her chest to secure the set in place, but the armor otherwise left her underside exposed. Including her breasts and her uncommon piercings. A single piece of metal ran through each nipple, but where most jewelry would stop there Aegis' didn't. Two parallel bars hung down from either end for a bit until a second crossbar went through them again. They looked like a pair of trapeze swings. And they were clearly visible from a human vantage point on the ground.

"Soooooo... are you ready?" Aegis quizzed awkwardly.

"The human clapped his hands together a few times, psyching himself up for the challenge ahead while also trying very hard not to look at the mare's bare breasts. "Y-yeah. I'm ready."

The guard hesitated for a few seconds before taking three careful steps forward. Now she stood over Anon. Aegis blushed as she lowered herself to nearly laying down on the road. Anon looked up timidly. Ponies weren't known for having big boobs. On equines breasts were always shallow. But they made up for it with long perky teats. So the human's face was red as a tomato as the short upside-down hills descended toward him almost teasingly. The mare's practically famous jewelry almost seemed to be inviting him over to her black udders. The man couldn't help but notice how dark it got there under her and in the pony's shadow.

Aegis' chain-mail brushed the ground as she hovered over the human. "Grab on," she instructed, trying to hurry this... whatever it was along.

"Right," Anon shook his head. He approached the closest handle which was now suspended just below his neck. It looked like it was made of gold, but he wasn't sure. The man tenderly wrapped his fingers around the bar and gave it a tug. The jewelry swung freely enough, but the mare gasped at the unexpected weight and jerked upward. Aegis realized what she was doing and froze midway, eyes wide. Had she just ripped Anon's arms off?

"Anon? Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine. J-just go slower okay."

Aegis stood the rest of the way before bending her head down to look under herself. Anon was hanging from her right piercing. He looked ridiculous. It was... cute. Funny. This was so dirty. He was small enough that the skirt of her chain-mail might actually hide him even as he hung right underneath her breasts.

"I'm going to start walking now. You think you can handle this?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah," Anon replied after a few seconds. "I think I can do this." The air was warm and musky, but Anon felt like he had a good grip. He might actually get those 100 bits and bragging rights yet! He just had to avoid falling to the ground below and breaking his legs. Or getting too embarrassed looking up at the hardening nipple just above his head.

Author's Note

Not really a continuation of a previous flash fic Obey the Law Anon... or Else, just a reuse of characters with inspiration from a picture I'm not even going to bother looking for. It was simply a black and white drawing of a mare showing off her unusual nipple piercings. They looked a lot like little handlebars.

I also REALLY fought with myself whether to actually write out the rest of this story and make it into a proper short. But I obviously decided against that. Maybe some day I'll take this out of the flash collection and lengthen it, but not now. I have other plans I want to focus on.

Macro Mares Need Our Men (giant alien ponies, humans, nonsense)

Version: 1

Was it a meteor? The thing was simply huge. At least twice the size of Texas. And it was headed straight for Earth. Its trajectory kept changing so that even as the planet continued on its cycle around the sun the object followed. It was moving fast too.

The typical panic ensued. It was the end of the world. Social order broke down. There was rioting and looting. Governments desperately tried to calm the populace. Videos and pictures of police and military clashing with civilians became common. The people had one month to live. Then the object was expected to hit.

As the day and the object drew closer, the first long range images by satellite came out. They were... confusing, to say the least. Blurry, yes. But the shape suggested structure. Clear lines with intent. It was still too far away to identify material even though the early images suggested a dark substance. Some suggested metals. A spaceship perhaps? That's why it could change trajectory! Those weren't measurement errors but merely the ship shifting course. Humanity wasn't facing extinction, but a visit from our galactic neighbors.

Some scientists dismissed this theory however. If the object was metallic they would have been able to prove it by now. It was clearly rock. A meteor. And they had no idea where it would land. Though they did agree that panic was inappropriate. With how unpredictable the object's movement seemed to be there was no reason yet to go crazy.

The object was in range. The alarms had died down. Earth was quiet. Every expert, leader, and commoner was glued to the image.

What. The. Hell. Were they looking at??

Everyone on Earth was baffled. Confused. Befuddled. Stunned. Mystified. And a dozen other synonyms for every language.

It was a giant... unicorn. With coal black fur and a flowing silver mane. Her enormous eyes, which for a short time had been mistaken as the first sign of lakes on a meteor, were clearly blue as sapphires.

An absolutely massive... unicorn... was drifting through space headed straight for Earth.

No one knew how to respond. For the last three days until... it... reached Earth everything was calm. Eerily silent.

"My name is Prime Ingress and I come to you in peace."

The unicorn was now orbiting Earth closer than the moon, but beyond the many artificial satellites that were currently trained on her. Her mouth moved as her horn glowed white and a feminine voice was heard across the entire surface of the world and in all languages. That is to say, everyone could understand her as though she were speaking to them.

The military was at maximum readiness. The leaders of multiple nations had their fingers hovering above the button for their nuclear arsenal. Billions were cowering at home. Yet the unicorn had declared peace?

"I apologize for causing your... small... kind such fear. I did not intend to bring such a disruption to your planet." The video images of her showed distinct lines of regret on her enormous features. Was she telling the truth? "However, I did not come entirely without selfish reasons. I have come... to ask your kind for help."

That got a lot of scared people's attention. This thing was half the size of Australia! Yet it needed human help? What could humanity possibly do for it? Mankind soon got its answer.

"My species are... large," she began seemingly embarrassed by the obvious point she had to make. "We are the most powerful beings in the universe. But we have made many enemies. Crafty enemies. Our lifespans are comparable to stars, so we tend to be... slow to realize... certain things." She tapped her hooves together nervously, though there was no sound in space. "We did not realize the plans of our enemies until it was too late. We were under attack for millennia and did not grasp the severity for far too long. Now my kind faces a crisis that we cannot solve ourselves. We need the help of another species."

She paused to lick her lips and straighten her back. "Our males have been exterminated. There are no male Inocern left in the universe. Despite our long lifespans, we are now as doomed as any species without a male population. We will inevitably go extinct even if our enemies do nothing."

People around the world were shocked. Not only at the admission that even one of these things could be killed, but the thought that she believed humanity could do anything about this. Some scientists considered that these Inocern might have come to believe mankind possessed a way to artificially impregnate them. With enough laboratory work, it might be possible. Humans had been trying for years to bring back already extinct species and were close to doing so. Having the "strongest species in the universe" indebted to humanity wasn't a bad idea. Already many of the world's most brilliant minds began theorizing and speculating. This would undoubtedly be the most important achievement in human history!

If they could do it.

Yet the huge mare continued speaking. "My kind have recently begun searching -- scouring -- the universe for a solution. Another species that could fill the gap and save our kind from the slow death it has been cursed with. That is why I have come to you. My eldritch powers have alerted me... that your males... may be compatible with us."

She was blushing. And Earth was stopped stupid.

What had she just said???

"I do not know for certain yet. I need to perform... an experiment. I would like to ask for a volunteer. I need one of your males to try to... mate with me."

There was not a person on the planet that could think straight after hearing a request like that.

"I realize that this might be... confusing," she said while twisting the tips of her front hooves together nervously. "But my kind do not need genetic compatibility. We need another with a similar nature to breed us. With no male Inocern left, we needed to find another species with a nature like our own. Your kind... seem to be like ourselves. Except... smaller. And more fragile. And without our cosmic powers. But your thoughts and actions are much like our own. Your kind... may be able to help us. That is why I need a volunteer. Just one healthy male."

There was a pause. Her eyes scanned the surface of the world as she continued to orbit it. Waiting.

"I can offer you great physical wealth. I can tell your species prizes shiny metals. I can offer the male who helps me with this test a mountain of gold or whatever substance you desire. And I can promise your safety. We are not about to harm the only hope our kind has at continued existence."

Author's Note

This story is a copy or a parody (I don't even know) of an artist's running image-story line. I do not remember the artist because I wasn't a big fan of his work, but the gist of the universe I'm copying was roughly the same. Except that the giants were really just human women and they were much bigger. As in Earth was the size of a marble compared to them. Why these star sized alien women, who looked suspiciously just like human ladies, needed tiny men to impregnate them I'm not sure even the original artist explained. But we all know how porn is. The story and explanations don't really matter. We just want boobs, butts, and pussy. We don't actually care how we get it.

However, I'm a perfectionist and I demand logical explanations. So I tried to make something that made sense. Maybe not much sense, but I tried. I also did not want Ingress to say "magic", though I was tempted for the comedic effect. Instead I went with "eldritch" and "cosmic" powers to keep the story more serious and emphasize the alienness of her kind. I toned down the size because I didn't want to have a species floating around that were literally bigger than planets, but maybe I can retcon that later if I change my mind and simply say Ingress is just small for her kind. I don't know.

If you think the name "Inocern" is stupid, congratulations, the author who coined the term agrees with you. I didn't want to call them just "ponies" or "unicorns". That would make them seem less alien and more... stupid. So I decided I needed to make up a name for these continent sized space equines. Then I realized I suck at naming things. So I took the word "unicorn" and swapped out the vowels until I got something that was still pronounceable and didn't sound like complete gibberish. Still hated it, but who cares. It's a flash fic.

Will I continue this story line? I honestly don't know what else I could do with it. Might be fun though.

No One Cares (macro pony, fandom, sad)

Version: 1

Colossus. The great towering mare of earth and devastation. Once a celebrity who was swarmed wherever she went.

Today the mare who stood as tall as an elephant was bored. She lay on the ground behind her booth lazily propping her head up on a hoof. There had been a couple guests and even a few autographs. But the gray mare just wasn't as popular as she once was.

She sighed. What she was couldn't even be called "popular". She had drifted into obscurity. There wasn't a lot of work for an over-sized pony to do outside monster movies, but the age of films staring giant creatures fighting for the right to destroy cities was over. The age of the "Superhero" had come like a storm. There hadn't been a giant monster movie in five years. And there had yet to be a superhero whose power involved becoming giant. So there was no place for her anymore.

She was an actor with only one real gimmick and the world wasn't interested in that gimmick any more. Her fans had grown and moved on, leaving Colossus alone at her booth which was moving increasingly to the edges of conventions. Soon she probably wouldn't even be able to afford a stand at the smallest cons.

Colossus looked at the tiled floor in front of her stand. No line. No visitors for several minutes. Should she give up on the celebrity thing? Simply admit that her golden days were behind her? The merchandise she had ready to sell... wasn't selling. She hadn't managed to sell a full box of anything in two years. So why did she bother trying anymore?

For her few remaining die-hard fans? Because she didn't want to admit she was irrelevant now? Probably a little bit of both if she was being honest.

Bucket List (talking)

Version: 1

"Let me get this straight, you have a prepared bucket list for what you would do if you one day, for absolutely no reason, became a giant?" Blue asked incredulously with a raised brow.

Red, who was sitting across from him, nodded proudly. "Yup. I don't want to be caught unprepared in-case one of my nightly bedtime wishes happens to come true."

Blue looked up in confusion for a moment at that. "Nightly bedtime wishes?"

"Yup," Red chirped. "Every night while I lie in my bed I stare at the ceiling and wish with all my heart to become a giant. Maybe one day a passing god or eldritch horror will hear my wish and choose to grant it."

Blue rubbed his forehead and gave an exasperated sigh. "Right. So... about this bucket list. What's on it... exactly?"

Red giggled. "Prepare to congratulate my forward thinking. First I'd stumble around and act confused. Depending on how giant I am I'd talk to some little ponies on the street, then I'd pick them up and marvel at how delicate they are. I'd walk around the city comparing the size of buildings and things to my body. After a while then I'd go into rampage mode!"

"Rampage mode?" Blue asked while rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness.

"I'd go slow at first. I'd step on a car, rolling my hoof forward over the roof so the metal guts have plenty of time to spill out everywhere. I'd chase fleeing crowds of helpless ponies. I'd experiment to see how much of my weight a skyscraper can take before it falls over. For the finale, I'd flop on my belly and roll around in the ruins. Then I'd eat some ponies, but not before dramatically licking my lips while holding them in front of my mouth."

Blue blinked silently for a moment. "That's sick."

Red grumbled and pouted. "It's a fantasy. I bet you've got some pretty messed up dreams too."

Blue shrugged. "Maybe."