Trust a Sister, Trust a Stranger...Like a Long-Lost Friend
On the outskirts of Ponyville, a golden chariot pulled by two armored pegasi landed in a pasture. A tall, gleaming white horse with wings and a unicorn horn stepped out of the back.
"Thank you, guardsponies. That will be all."
A guard furrowed his brow. "But your highness...don't you need protection? Just in case?"
Celestia smiled regally. "I appreciate your concern. But I'm expecting to meet somepony here soon...somepony who's very close to me. Somepony who means more to me than anypony else in the world--"
A purple unicorn leaped out from behind a bush. "Surprise!" she shouted. "Bet you weren't expecting me, huh?"
Celestia blinked. "Who in...MY green apples are you?"
The purple unicorn shook her head. "You and I both know full well, the original expression was, who in LUNA'S green apples. You don't have to try to hide the truth from me. Because I know everything!"
Celestia said, "Seriously, who are you?"
"Don't pretend you don't know who I am."
"I really don't."
"We've already met! We had a conversation! You and me, one on one! It was a very important conversation, too!"
Celestia blinked again. "Please...do an old mare a favor, and refresh my memory."
"It was at the entrance exam for your School For Gifted Unicorns. I got all the theory questions right...well, most of them. Some of my theories were too advanced for your small-minded professors to understand, so I didn't get credit for some of them."
"I see. But what did you and I talk about? WHEN did you and I converse?"
"It was on my way out, after I accidentally turned all the professors into houseplants, and three guards were...showing me the door. Showing me very emphatically. And rudely, I might add."
Celestia stared at the unicorn. "That was our conversation?"
"No, you and I conversed when one of my kicks hit you by mistake, instead of the second guard. I said, 'Excuse me, your highness. I didn't mean to kick you.' And you said, 'That's quite all right, my dear. I heal like an immortal goddess, you know.'"
"And what did we say after that?"
"Guard number three put his hoof over my mouth, and I bit him, and from there on it was mostly just wordless screaming. Some of the screaming was me, and a lot of it was him. I guess I bit him really hard."
Celestia nodded. "I see. I'm sorry your exam went so poorly."
"Oh, things turned out ok. Later on I tested into the Everton Independent Study Program, and became an independent researcher. There are even grants! Not very large grants, but by living very...frugally...by finding housing in a town where it's very cheap because it's right next to a monster-filled, haunted, insanely dangerous forest whose denizens don't know exactly where the forest's boundaries are, so sometimes they come into town and try to EAT ponies, an intellectually focused life of the mind becomes surprisingly affordable! And I get a special discount on any train travel if it's research related, which for me, of course, is any trip at all." She chuckled. "As if I could visit a place and KEEP myself from doing at least a little research while I was there."
"I see. I'm so glad the Everton Program is doing some good."
"Oh, you don't know the half of it." Twilight grinned proudly. "Because I don't have to take slow-paced conventional classes, or sleep on a normal schedule, I have so much research time. I know the truth about Nightmare Moon, as I already mentioned. I even have a PLAN to deal with her imminent return."
Celestia looked over at her pegasus guards. "As I was saying earlier, guardsponies...DISMISSED! I need some time to speak with this mare alone."
"Are you sure, your highness? She seems...a little deranged."
Celestia smiled her most beautiful and second-most reassuring smile. "I still wish to speak with her. And which of us here is the princess?"
The guards groaned. "You are," they chorused.
"That's right! So go see the local sights. Grab a bite. You can even just eat some grass fresh off the ground...but NOT over HERE next to ME. Go. Shoo! Go away!"
The guards trotted away into the small town.
"Now then!" Celestia said. "Please tell me more, little unicorn."
"The first thing we have to do is travel into the extremely dangerous Everfree Forest, to the ancient Castle of the Two Sisters..."
***
Inside the half-ruined castle, Celestia looked at the purple unicorn and her five friends who had come along on the journey. "Applemac--"
"AppleJACK! Apple MAC is mah big brother."
"I beg your forgiveness, Applejack. You are here as..."
"Ah'm one of Twilight's friends. And also, Ah'm an expert on apples and farmin' and lots of other earth pony things, of course."
"That's good to know."
Twilight shouted, "Hit it, girls! Friendship dance!"
Twilight stuck her hindquarters in the air. Her other Ponyville friends joined her, all standing in a circle with their muzzles facing in and their hindquarters sticking outwards.
"Sunshine, sunshine!" Twilight sang. "Ladybugs awake!"
"Clap your hooves..." Twilight and her friends clumsily played pattycake for a moment. "And do a little SHAKE!" Twilight and her friends spun around, waggling their little bums in the air.
Celestia stared. She finally asked, "And the point of this is?"
Twilight said seriously, "If my research is correct...and it almost always is...the next step should be--"
The castle started to shake. Six round stones rose up into the air, and slowly circled the six non-alicorn ponies, as Celestia dodged and weaved to avoid any collisions. Finally she ran out of the room.
"Don't let her get away!" Twilight shouted. "She's essential to the next part of the plan!" As the rocks continued spinning around the six ponies, the Ponyville ponies chased Celestia, and Celestia kept running away.
***
In the forest outside the Castle, Twilight shouted, "I hope you can hear me, Princess Celestia! I'm sure the key to getting through to Luna, and transforming her back from Nightmare Moon, is letting her know that YOU know how she feels!"
From somewhere among the trees and undergrowth, a voice shouted back, "But how can I know how she feels? She's literally insane, ever since she went mad a thousand years ago! How can I know how she...oh no. I REFUSE to go insane myself, just for your crazy little plan."
"That's not my plan! That would be crazy! But what you CAN know is, Luna was banished to the moon. So if we can show her you know what it's like to be banished to the moon, so you can TRULY apologize for doing that to her..."
"You really think this will work?"
"Was I wrong about the other things I told you, that I found out through my research? About Nightmare Moon's true identity? About what day your sister was banished, so many years ago? About the fact that the moon's magical containment is weakening, so your sister will escape very, very soon now--"
"Tonight, I think," Celestia said. She walked out of her hiding place, and stood in front of the other ponies. "Please tell me your plan."
The little unicorn scuffed the dirt with one hoof. "I can't TELL you, exactly. It has to be a surprise, or it doesn't work. Just like your sister didn't know what was going to happen, when you--"
Celestia sighed. "When I banished her to the moon, you mean?"
Twilight sighed. "I'm just too good at explaining things, I guess."
"To be fair," Applejack remarked, "You do a better job of teachin' mah little Apple Bloom her algebra than anypony else Ah know."
"So true," said a pale, violet-maned unicorn. "I never understood before I met you, how there could be TWO alicorn princesses. Or why silk costs so much, when it's just dried up worm juice that came out of a bug's backside." She shook her head. "So uncouth."
"Now!" Twilight shouted. Sensing some kind of magical attack, Princess Celestia instinctively tried to raise a magical shield...but she was too late.
The next thing she knew, she was on a gray, barren plain, surrounded by stars.
But she wasn't alone. Next to her, a purple unicorn's face was turning red, as her cheeks bulged out. Celestia's next act was also instinctive...she surrounded the unicorn with a body-hugging shield that kept the pony's remaining air inside.
Celestia scratched words in the sand with a forehoof. "On moon. No air. Shield keeps your air in, doesn't give more. Let me help you."
Twilight nodded.
Celestia stepped close to the little unicorn, altered the shield over part of Twilight's muzzle, and touched the little pony's face with her own. Celestia put her lips over Twilight's, and blew air into her mouth.
Twilight's face turned a little less red.
A moment later, Celestia scratched the words, "Breathe out, so I can give more air."
Twilight exhaled.
Celestia put her mouth on Twilight's again, and blew.
A little purple unicorn voice seemed to speak inside Celestia's head. "The second part of the spell should kick in any minute now. The telepathy part, that is. The part that will let Celestia speak directly to her sister, no matter where on the moon Luna is."
Celestia carefully controlled her thoughts, keeping them to herself. She hadn't lived to be the effective Empress of a large nation by being incautious or indiscreet.
The purple voice talking in Celestia's head worried, "When will the telepathy start? Did I miscalculate? But that should be impossible! But how can it be impossible if it's happened? I am SO STRESSED RIGHT NOW! This is just like my entrance exam, when I got so nervous, and everything went wrong, and it was all a disaster...I mustn't turn Celestia into a plant! That would be the most terrible thing in the world!"
Celestia put her mouth on Twilight's, and gently blew in, then pulled air back out. In, then out. She patted the unicorn's shoulder with one of her wings.
The purple voice said, "Oh. I must have been trying to hyperventilate, but without any air. Princess Celestia has saved my life TWICE so far in the last few minutes...no, worked continuously to keep me alive with some kind of alicorn air magic, and what have I done? Just made an enormous mess of things."
Celestia patted the unicorn reassuringly. She scratched into the dust, "You're doing very well."
Twilight thought, "Hmmph! She just feels sorry for me."
"I mean it!" Celestia scratched. "Nopony has ever come so close to rescuing my sister before. Not even me." Celestia sniffled. "Not even me. Thank you so much for trying. And remember, it's not over yet."
"We're trapped on the moon!" Twilight's voice seemed to say. "If we can't get back to Equestria, we're going to die!"
Celestia scratched, "Don't give up, my brave little pony."
Celestia thought very hard. From somewhere a thousand miles away, a harsh, cold voice seemed to say, "What are YOU doing here?"
Celestia tried to aim her thoughts well enough to reach the distant, moon-dusty dark alicorn, but not the unicorn standing right next to her. "I came to rescue you. To tell you how sorry I am."
"Thou knew We would be able to escape soon anyway. Thou art here because thou art frightened. Thou art here because thou knowest We shall conquer thy precious little Equestria, and plunge everypony into perpetual night. Thou hast come here because thou knowest thou cannot protect even thine own self. Thou art here to beg for Our forgiveness, because begging and pleading for mercy is thine only hope!"
"All of that is true," Celestia thought. "Especially the part about begging for your forgiveness. I tried so many times to come rescue you, but I couldn't do it on my own. It was my great good luck that this little purple unicorn offered to help me. Only with her clever assistance was I finally able to come to you."
Luna seemed to sneer across a thousand miles of moonscape. "Thou canst not hide anything from Us, Celestia. We can see thy thoughts as clearly as We can see Our own."
"Even MORE clearly than your own, dear sister. Because I know I'm doing my best to tell you the truth. But Nightmare Moon makes you lie to yourself." Celestia thought even harder. Her mind tried to use its new telepathic connection to Luna...and PULLED.
Like a cork popping out of a champagne bottle, something happened.
A moment later, Celestia, Twilight, and a midnight blue alicorn only a little taller than Twilight stood in the Everfree Forest, as Twilight's Ponyville friends stared. Celestia and Twilight stood nose-to-nose, their mouths touching.
"So..." asked a pink earth pony, "is everything ok? Or is Nightmare Moon going to eat us? Which is it?"
Luna laughed, shaking her head. "Nightmare Moon is gone. We lost her, left her behind on the moon. My mind is my own once more." She smiled at the pink pony. "I will not eat you. Instead, I shall rule you, sitting beside my sister as co-sovereign."
Celestia agreed, "All that is true. Including the part about ruling beside me."
Fluttershy asked, "So...was it scary?"
Twilight said, "Terrifying. I accidentally almost killed myself half a dozen ways. If it wasn't for Princess Celestia protecting me from my own mistakes, I would have died in seconds."
Rarity bowed to Princess Celestia. "Thank you very much, your highness, for protecting our friend Twilight." Twilight's other friends bowed too.
Pinkie said, "Twilight, when you and Celestia first reappeared, it looked like she was kissing you. I think maybe what Fluttershy MEANT to ask, was it 'nervous-citing' experiencing your very first kiss? With such a big and beautiful pony, a real princess?"
Twilight said indignantly. "She was just saving my life. Giving me the air I needed to survive. It wasn't like that at all!"
Princess Celestia leaned in towards Twilight, and smiled playfully.
A regal voice in Twilight's head seemed to say, "Your telepathy spell is very good, Twilight. Very good indeed. I know EXACTLY how you really feel about kissing a princess. And I enjoyed kissing you too...my sister-rescuing hero."
Twilight's face turned bright red, but not for lack of air.
"All right!" a blue pegasus shouted. "You kissed a princess! And she kissed you back! That's pretty cool!"
"It wasn't like a real kiss!" Twilight insisted, unconvincingly. She gazed up at the beautiful princess. Somehow, she couldn't look away.
The princess giggled. She whispered into Twilight's ear, "I know your secret!" She nuzzled Twilight's cheek. Somewhat more loudly, she said, "Some ponies would like to be kissed by a beautiful princess. That is, unless you think I'm not beautiful." Celestia pouted dramatically. "My brave hero doesn't even like me!"
Twilight said in a weak, unsteady voice, "I LIKE you. Really, I do. I just wasn't prepared, that's all."
Celestia nodded. "So how long would it take you to become properly prepared?"
"I...I don't know. You're just so big and beautiful, and I'm...just some nerd. You can't possibly like me...not in THAT way."
Celestia stood up straight, her face pulling upward and away from Twilight's. "You showed me what you're like on the inside, Twilight. Because that's what you thought it would take to save my sister's life, or my own life...or even both of us. I have to honor that sacrifice. And, yes, it was fun to kiss a cute little pony to help her rescue Luna. I had a lot of things to feel guilty about, but not about putting my lips on yours. You brave little creature. That was the least I could do for you."
"Um..." Twilight said, "What about your sister? Shouldn't you be apologizing to her or something? Welcoming her back to Equestria?"
Luna said aloud, "This is the best welcome back to Equestria I could ever have hoped for. No, I didn't expect to see anything this good." Luna walked towards Celestia. "Nonetheless, your Lunar Princess is willing to accept hugs."
Celestia bounded towards her sister, and hugged her tightly. "Looney dearest! I am so happy to finally hug you again! My squootchey wootchey widdle sister!" Celestia nuzzled Luna, and Luna nuzzled her back.
Luna sighed. "This is why I didn't try to hug you immediately upon our return to Equestria. Because I knew you would embarrass me in public."
Celestia said, "Nothing could be as embarrassing as losing my own sister on the moon for a thousand years. I can never say how sorry I am for that."
"And I, dear sister, can never say how sorry I am for letting myself become Nightmare Moon and trying to destroy you. We must forgive each other."
"You know what we should do?" Twilight said. "We should go back to Ponyville. To give me some time to think about things. And so I can get used to still being alive."
Princess Celestia smiled. "Then let's take a walk. And you can take as much time as you need, my courageous little purple hero. To decide what you really think, and how you really feel." She gestured with a slight, brief tilt of her head, beckoning the others to follow her towards Ponyville.
The triumphant procession threaded its way through the forest, everypony smiling and laughing.
Author's Note
Contest judges, maybe you shouldn't read this special trade secret! It might impair your judging. Commissar Vulpin's "Secrets in the Stars" (link) showed me that we can just make up our own Equestrian lunar geography, if we do a good enough job of making it sound proper. Also, this story's title includes at least one really bad pun.
