The Grime Behind The Diamond

by Golden Fang Ryutora

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sex, Tragedy, Gore, Violence, Dark, Death, Sad, Diamond Dogs
Length: 7188

Fifteen years after a nearly unsuccessful escape, a Diamond Dog settles into his new life in his ancestral nation outside of Equestria. With some time to spare, he writes his thoughts telling of the corruption and toxicity in his former homeland.

Fifteen years after a nearly unsuccessful escape, a Diamond Dog settles into his new life in his ancestral nation outside of Equestria. With some time to spare, he writes his thoughts telling of the corruption and toxicity in his former homeland.

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Published 2022-08-12 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-12 02:40:01 UTC

The Grime Behind The Diamond

Author's Note

Please Read Author's Note

I want to say first off before you go into this One-Shot that this is the first one I will be doing that won't be of the poetic kind. I have recently gotten into the plan of doing One-Shots instead of just multi-chapters and this one will be where I actually try to tell a story in one single regular chapter. One that doesn't have rhymes or anything of the sort. It is also meant to be a form of practice so I can improve in One-Shots in the future. Especially in regards to projects, testing out characters, character interactions, being in tune with their environments, etc. I would also like to make it clear this One-Shot is not in any way tied with the MLP Canon Series or any other projects that I will be doing on this site in the future. It is purely for One-Shot practice and improvement purposes. Nothing more and nothing less.

Constructive criticism is welcome and I'm willing to listen to tips as to how I can make any future One-Shots more entertaining. All I ask is that criticism is kept respectful, helpful, and, well... constructive. Please also refrain from turning the comment section into a fighting space regarding the story its aspects and themes. Opinions on it are fine but don't bash onto others for having them and why it's equivalent to a war crime. Even if what that person is saying is not really an opinion, I kindly ask you to keep the comments and discussions as peaceful as possible. Thank you.

Content Warning: This One-Shot goes into sensitive topics such as child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, parental death, domestic violence, hints at attempted murder, mass murder, and sexism. If any or all of these topics are ones that are sensitive or triggering to you, do not read. Readers' discretion is advised.

The Grime Behind The Diamond

Before I start this, I wanna make it clear right now that this is not a diary. I am well aware that’s what others would call the book they would use to write their thoughts. But it will not be the case with me. Journal is the more appropriate term I am going to use to call what this is. It is what I would like for any who reads this and find out what I’m going to be writing. For those who see this journal and aren’t interested in it, I’m sorry for wasting your time. There’s some heavy stuff I’m going to write and not everyone is suited for reading it. Should you choose to read it anyway… you have my respect and gratitude.

Now with that out of the way, time to get onto the important stuff. My name is Gulliver and I’m a Diamond Dog. Yes, you heard right. A Diamond Dog. Shocking, right? I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what you’re feeling right now. You might be thinking that this is a joke or a prank someone is pulling. But I can assure you, I am the creature I say I am. And I’m not those apish-looking dogs those ponies envision us to be. We are every bit as doggish as our domestic counterparts. If not on the more folkloric side, like church grims. It’s up to you if you believe it or not. It’s not like I have the time to care anyway since I’ll be gone from this place soon.

I was born in an underground city called Diamante. My clan is one of five species living in several enormous communities that are designed for a specific species. I wasn’t poor, but I wasn’t exactly rich either. I suppose you could say I was somewhere between. I’m also the only brother of two twin sisters named Amber and Annie, and our parents are the Alpha Pair of my clan. Making us the highest rank and the ones who would lead it until it was time for us to bring heirs. Or that’s what I would say if I was one of three who would be chosen to lead it.

For context, my society isn’t like most where the male is the head of the group and the females are the servers. It’s a matriarchy where the females are the ones who are in charge and it’s really the males who serve them. Pretty much like how lionesses do with their males and female hyenas take the lead. Our clans operate the same way they do in the wild. Though it’s more in the way of the “lowly scavenger” than the proclaimed “kings of beasts”. To anyone that knows how the clans of hyenas operate, you should have a good idea of how our society is outside of the public eye. If you don’t, I will be happy to tell you about it. From sexism to toxicity, along with cruelty as well as suppression.

Growing up, I was taught all my life that when it came to my gender, I’d always be at the bottom of the food chain. No matter what I did or how hard I tried, I’d never be acknowledged or looked upon with respect and admiration. In any other case, it would be for reasons like I wasn’t smart enough, not good-looking, or didn’t have the drive others had to succeed. But being male was the biggest and most legitimate one with the rest being additional. If I was female, then there would at least be somewhat of a chance of my being something great happening. Even then, I’d have a buttload of competition that would test me to see if I had what it took to be like other females. If I succeeded, I had the right to call myself one of them. Otherwise, they would consider me nothing more than a servant who licked the dirt off their paws.

I’m pretty sure by this point you're thinking that this kind of teaching had a prolonged effect on me. It honestly didn’t at first. Possibly because I was a child and didn’t know the reality of our hidden world. Or maybe because my father saw it for the shitshow it was and how much it would poison me and feed off the rot. At the time, I didn’t realize what he was trying to do for me and my sisters back then. Keeping us away from mom when he could and teaching us things that should’ve been engrained into our kind long ago. We thought he was trying to take us for himself and hurt Mom out of some sort of jealousy. It certainly looked that way from how they would interact and talk with each other. I can see now none of it was true and he was trying to help us. Hecate’s poisonous canines, how I miss him so.

My father and I bent to the will of the females of our clan and household, giving little consideration to our wants and needs. It didn’t matter what my father tried to do to rebel or keep me from being subjected to it. Anything Mom or even Amber and Annie said was law in our home and we could do nothing. Whenever my sisters were in trouble or did something bad, I’d be blamed. Because I was the eldest, it was my job to make sure they behaved. But each time I did, my Mom took her anger out on me for not doing my duty. Or being too harsh and paws on with my female relatives. My father tried countless times to come to my defense, but he’d get beaten by mom and left a heap on the floor.

You may wonder why he didn’t leave my mom and take us with him. Because of the society we live in, any female Diamond Dog that gets left behind by her mate is seen as less of a female. And any that lets males take her pups away from her isn’t seen as a true female at all. Did I mention we males are weaker and fathers’ rights are all but nonexistent? Add the fact males can’t leave clans we join, like how females can’t leave the ones they’re born in, by law? Under fear of punishment as harsh as exile and death if we try returning? I didn’t even get to how we’re treated when we pass on. I don’t want to, but I said I’d describe how horrid my birthplace is, so I gotta stand by my word.

When we depart, there are two events held. One is the Howling Of The Orange Moon and the Howling Of The Purple Moon. For the former, the body of the matriarch is taken up to the surface and placed in the center around her sisters. Each will then howl at the moon when it turns orange, which will happen when the orange moon on her forehead begins to fade away. A similar one is held for males when the purple moons on our heads vanish. Unlike the females though, the males aren’t allowed to take the body of their brother to the surface to do the event. They can only take him to a hole where they can see the moon and howl at it while l underneath the earth. It’s another crazy law that Diamante has, which is punishable with beatings if males attempt this. It’s because we’re better off not under the beauty of the moon since we aren’t females. Otherwise, we’d taint what symbolizes our goddess since Hecate is, well… a goddess.

Sexism at its finest.

My life was like that for eighteen years. Treated like a maid and plaything by our oh-so nurturing, strong, and loving mother and sweet innocent angelic little sisters. Sure, it was given to both me and my dad, but I received the brunt end of it. All for the sole reason that I was a male, and I’d be nothing more than a servant, foot soldier, or outlaw until the day I died. In the past, I feared life as an outlaw. To not have a home and anyone to go back to. With what I know now, I wish I was given the option to choose it earlier. Maybe then everything that happened to me after would’ve happened sooner. Even if I’d been punished for it, it still would have been worth the risk.

Four months before I was to be of legal age, my dad started to get pains in his stomach. It wasn’t too serious at first, but it progressed as the weeks went by. My Mom, in one of her extremely rare attempts of care, tried helping, but it seemed she was just making things worse. It was especially bad whenever my father ended up puking meals he couldn’t keep down. No matter what my mom gave him, my dad kept on regurgitating her food. It was like they were the reasons for him being sick all the time and there was something in them that wasn’t being seen. Now that I think about it, maybe what my mom cooked was the reason dad kicked the bucket so early. Or maybe there was something else she did I wasn’t aware of. I have no way of knowing for sure. At least I got to stay with him until he took his last breath. I wonder how our reunion will go in the afterlife.

After my father’s death, my mother gave me a designated time and date as to when I would be leaving her home. I want to stress how much emphasis she put on those last two words since she didn’t see it as her and dad’s home. In this situation, one would probably snap and scream at her for giving practically no care over the fact that her mate was dead. In my case, while hurt by the apathy, my grief, coupled with the mindset drilled in me from birth, kept me from doing that. All I did was just gave her a nod and told her that I would be gone before she knew it. The same thing was done with my sisters, who at this point, became just as entitled and toxic as our mom was. If I could, I’d go back in time and give them a nice good slash across their faces. See how they would feel at not only being told it but actually being ugly too. My tail is wagging just thinking about it.

It was later on that I found out just how soon I was wanted out, which was my birthday. I thought they meant the night of it, so they could torment me for the final time before ridding themselves of me for good. As it turns out, what they really meant by it was the minute I turned eighteen. No sooner did my clock strike midnight was I ripped out of bed, dragged out of my bedroom to the front door, and thrown out. I didn’t even have time to take in what happened before my Mother told me to never come back. Followed by Amber and Annie saying to me to have a nice outlaw life before throwing me what little possessions I had. It was some of the last words they said to me before closing the door on me. I want you to pay attention to this last part. As it will be important for later on in these first and final words of this journal.

Brutal is the only word that I can think of to describe my life as an outlaw in Diamante. It was the hardest three years of my life with few breaks and lucky finds between them. Everywhere I went, I was met with nothing but hostility and hate by my fellow canines. Even some of the males didn’t want me around them, but I can’t fault them for it. If anything, it was because they were ordered to. Or just didn’t have any room for another male in their bachelor group. To the credit of some, they were kind enough to give me some of their kills or gemstones whenever I felt desperate. But like I said, things like this didn’t happen often and I had to fend for myself daily. When I reflect on it, I see how independent and resourceful it made me. It helped in cracking apart what I was told from age five. But it was someone, not something that helped to lift the veil and make me see the light.

It was on one of my many nights wandering through the caves that were accessible to males that I met her. One of the few female diamond dogs that had none of the feminist male-hating bullshit that nearly all of them all. Our first encounter was when I was out looking for gemstones to keep my bone marrow from being prone to breaking. I kid you not, I literally found her laying underneath a pile of gemstones, and big ones at that. From how it looked, she must have been trying to carve them out and it ended up succeeding. To the point where she was all but buried in it. I’m sure that was not what she was aiming for, but it did give off that vibe.

I’m ashamed to admit that part of me contemplated leaving her there at first. Almost every single female that I showed kindness to ended up throwing it back in my face, so I just stopped helping. It was thrown out the window when her brown eyes made contact with my red ones. I didn’t know if it was that or the part of me that yearned for approval from others. Either way, I found myself digging her out of those crystalline rocks. Instead of attacking me, she hugged me, giving far more thank yous in one minute than I did in the last twenty-one years. I was eventually released, and it was then I noticed how attractive she was. Lots of female Diamond Dogs that I met were beautiful, but her? I saw a beauty in her that, even now, I cannot figure out how I did.

Once she calmed down, she apologized for getting my black fur wet before asking my name. I was hesitant to do that out of fear of how she reacted, but I found myself saying it for some reason. I did get a giggle from her, but she quickly explained that it was because she found it cute. One of the few times I was told my name was nice and not something proving how worthless I was. After thanking her, she told me her name was Melina. Its meaning was honey, which totally suited her personality. Which was also how she treated me aside from my name as if I was a pup of her own and not my Mom’s. Complains are not being given to that. I’m just staying how out of the ordinary it was for me.

For the rest of that night, we just talked about whatever came to our minds. Most of it consists of my life as a nomad and an outlaw and how it was for me before our bizarre meetup. It was then she told me her story. How she wasn’t treated like a female for not behaving in the ways they did. It reached a tipping point when she was being seen treating males of her clan with kindness and not cruelty. It led to her being ostracized by her clan and labeled as a nobody. All for seeing our world for what it was and not what we were bludgeoned with. Before I knew it, we bid each other farewell, and I thought that would be the only time we’d see each other.

Never before and again would I ever be proven so wrong.

Over the next several years, Melina and I continued with our meetings in the caves. At first, it was just on mere occasions, but it increased the more we ran into each other. Whether it was in caves, or in mines, Melina and I seemed to always see each other when we least expected it. I chalked it up to it having something to do with fate or it being the doing of our dear goddess Hecate. It didn’t really matter to me. What mattered was I had a new Diamond Dog female friend that didn’t have the bitchiness nearly all the others did. It took a longtime, but our friendship helped me to see the hell I lived in. How we were living. It made me treasure our bond all the more dearly, even when we made outside friends. More than what I had with my relatives.

Right near the fifth year of our friendship, Melina said she wanted to tell me something. It was on a quiet night while we were wandering through taverns when she told me this. I pressed her as to what it could be, but she said she wanted it to be a surprise. A request she made pretty clear when she asked me to go with her to where we first met. I could see I wasn’t going to get anything out of her unless I did this, so I did as she asked. Once we got there, Melina said something that nearly made me jump out of my fur.

“Gulliver… I love you~.”

I didn’t say anything at first. I genuinely thought I misheard her or if she was joking. I didn’t have time to check either before Melina denied what I was thinking. I almost didn’t believe her for a second or two, but her tone and face told me she wasn’t. I asked if she was actually serious and she told me she was. Doubt still filled me and I still felt partially suspicious in spite of not detecting any deceit from her. To wash them away and see if she was still just fucking with me, I told Melina to prove it to me with a kiss.

She didn’t even hesitate.

No time was given to me to register Melina lifting me and pressing her lips against my own. Yelps left my throat, and I felt my body being enveloped in warmth by the time I came back to reality. Part of me was barking at myself to resist. To push Melina away and run away from her right then and there. Another part of me demanded that I stay and let it happen. To let the love, tenderness, and affection given to me by only one Diamond Dog be given to me by the one whose embrace I was in. Instinct took over, and I found myself returning her embrace and her kiss all at once. We would’ve continued forever had it not been for our lungs biting at our chests for air. Once I and she calmed down, Melina asked me if I had similar feelings and I found myself saying yes without even realizing it.

I don’t really remember much of what happened after that. All I do know is that it was one pretty wild night. One of the wildest nights ever had in my life and the best. I do recall certain things we did which I am not going to divulge. All I will say is that Melina was quite giving to me in more ways than one. Who knew another Diamond Dog could be so loving in that way?

Following our little private fun, a new relationship formed between me and Melina that I didn’t think I’d get in my lifetime. It was nothing like the one that I saw with my parents or like the other couples in Diamante. Love, care, and kindness were the only things I knew while I was with Melina, and she did amazingly in nurturing them in me. I did feel something off at the time. Like someone was watching us and how we interacted with one another. My gut told me so, but I put it off as nothing more than paranoia from past trauma.

If only I knew what doing that would lead to…

About three years into our courtship, Melina came to me again with another surprise she swore I would love. Like last time, we went to our secret spot where we first met, and… made love for it to be told without interruption. If her confession of love for me shocked me before, I was floored by the six words that came out of her mouth.

“Gulliver, I’m pregnant. With your pups.”

I cannot put into words the whirl of emotions I felt when Melina spoke this. All concepts of time, reality and space became lost to me the moment those words bit into my ears. It was a full minute of silence, and Melina asked if I was alright, before I came out of it. I was hugging her and crying into her fur before I knew it, unable to do anything else. I can count that as the second time I cried at all. The first being when my dad passed just before I was banished from my clan. Only here, it was tears of joy instead of sadness. Joy from being told this news. Elation from being told I would be a father. Happiness from the realization that the first time I was going to be having a family. One that Melina and I were in the midst of creating.

I don’t know how long I cried or how long Melina held me. All I did know is her fur was drenched with my tears by the time I stopped. I remember how she giggled and commented on how red my cheeks were and how I looked like a timid puppy. I didn’t care. Any embarrassment I could’ve felt then was completely overshadowed by the bubblier feelings I had. I apologized and said I was just overcome by emotions about becoming a father. Melina believed me, but it didn’t stop her from mentioning how worked up I looked. Or how she needed to make me feel better. How we needed to celebrate the future arrivals… and how she knew the best way to do that.

Yes! We did it after Melina told me we were going to be parents, okay?! Don’t judge us!

Getting off track again. Hours of humping later, Melina and I lay there in our secret spot and just held each other. Or rather, she had me cuddled into her while I used her like a giant dog bed and rested on it. We didn’t really say anything for a time. Neither of us really felt the need. it was like we could guess what the other felt without uttering a word. Except for the first thing that Melina asked me when she decided to figuratively shatter the crystal of silence.

“Gulliver, let’s leave.”

I blinked and looked up at her, not understanding what she was talking about. I guess she could see the confusion in my eyes because she elaborated on what she meant. She was thinking that we should leave our city. Depart from the underground and abandon any and all connections that we had in this place. I was shocked at this. Not at the fact that Melina wanted to leave, but that she wanted to leave alongside me. Please don’t get the wrong idea, I wanted to go with her and leave this hellish place. It’s just with the absolutely crazy laws my home had, that wasn’t an option for her. We knew this, but I still found myself explaining that to be my fear as to why I was hesitant on leaving.

Understanding as she was about my hesitation, Melina refused to have any of it and did not back down in her decision. It didn’t help that she used the extremely accurate reason as to what would happen to our pups if they were raised in such an environment as ours. The effect that Diamante would have on them and the unwanted influence other Diamond Dogs would have on them. What nailed the decision for us to go our own way in the coffin was her asking what I would have done in my Dad’s position. If I put up with everything my mom put him through. Or if I’d take the leap of faith and aim for a better life away from this madness. It was these words that solidified the resolve in my heart and lit aflame the desire to protect my future family.

With our minds made up and choices aligned, we discussed our mission to leave Diamante behind us for good. A destination was already set before we put the plan in motion. From what I was told by my dad, it was a place where Diamond Dogs first formed on Equus called Conall. A land with the same sentient, poison-mouthed tunnel-drilling gem-loving dogs that were nothing like those here. It was a matriarchy like Diamante, but it had far less of the toxic mindset Diamante did. I’m not sure how much of it was true, but my dad never lied to me before, so I didn’t have any reason to doubt him. After all that I went through though, I had plans to be a bit cautious of everyone there. Sorry, Dad.

Next morning and afternoon came and went, and Melina and I found ourselves ready to head off to our future home. We ran into her friends along the way, and after explaining our plan to them, they asked to join us. We knew the law of female Diamond Dogs not being allowed to leave their clans unless reasonably kicked out. Along with what would happen should leaving even be attempted, so calculated operations were made and executed at dusk. Melina’s group would sneak from their clan while mine would lead them to the chosen spot where would wait for them. It was a risky plan, but the best we could come up with at the moment.

It went better than I expected at first. Probably because of how skillful Melina’s friends were at their charm in fooling their clanmates. It felt wrong since many were males, and most were not used to being with such kindness and tenderness as most. I’ll say it was hilarious learning just how easily the ladies seduced the guys. Coupled with how comically they fell into the traps. We didn’t have time to laugh about it for long before we heard a sound that made our fur turn a slight shade greyer. Howls that made the caves come to life like they were doing it. While they screamed into my ears, I heard running clawing its way through the earth. We knew then that the chase was on.

I don’t think I ever ran so fast and so hard in my life. I know I’m a canine and we’re built for long-distance running, but still! Holy Hecate! I’ve got plenty of exercise in my life and yet I still feel like my lungs were going to implode. It didn’t help we had to constantly evade attacks from mates from Melina and her friends’ clans being made aware of our escape. I can only imagine how pissed off they were about that. And the fact that their fellow sisters were helping some of the many males they despised. I’m sure they were planning to show them just how angry they were at that last act. As you'll later see down the line of this little tale.

Nothing can describe the relief I felt managing to evade our pursuers. I was honestly thinking that we’d never be able to lose them no matter how many entranceways and tunnels we used. Yet, by some miracle, we succeeded. Forever seemed to pass before we made it to our final destination. To the path within the earth where the lands above awaited me, my mate, and our incoming pups. I didn’t try holding back my cheering and neither did Melina. We thanked our friends for helping and they congratulated us for accomplishing our mission. I did notice they were a bit anxious. Like they wanted us to get out of there as quickly as possible. I didn’t pay much attention to it, figuring they wanted to go before we got caught.

When the celebration died down, we made a break for the entrance, ready to say goodbye to the hell we suffered in. We were just feet away from touching the upper soil when Melina stopped us. Saying she wanted to make a final visit to our sacred place and take some gemstones with us from there. If not to have something to remember of where we had our first encounter. While they seemed less than up for it, Melina’s insistence broke our groups, and they complied with her request. I didn’t see any harm in it either, so I obliged her.

I soon regretted that decision.

My paws did not even make it three steps before I felt something stab me from behind. I was so caught off guard that I almost didn’t hear Melina and our remaining friends’ blood-curdling screams. Or the sound of them hitting the ground as something hit them. While I lay there trying to figure out what happened, four sets of paws walk up in front of me. Looking up, I felt my heart stop at seeing Amber, Annie, and another blood relative I thought I’d never see again.

“Hello, my little Gulliver~.”

My mother’s voice crawled its way into my ears like a worm digging into the very earth I was born under. So sickeningly sweet was her tone that I felt my spine give a shiver that I know did not go unnoticed. Laughter from my sisters did its job in confirming that. All around us were other female Diamond Dogs looking at us and our friends like they hit the jackpot. In the center with my family was another female Diamond Dog I saw before, and I wondered who it was. I got my answer when my mate let out a gasp and said a single word that made my blood freeze.

“M-Mother?!”

All it took was that one word to make my head whip to the side to look at Melina. I didn’t believe what I heard at first, but the shock and horror on her face forced me to believe my ears were not tricking me. Her mother, who I found out was called Maria, said nothing, just giving her the same victorious smirk that my family was giving me. Rage replace my disbelief and I screamed at them, demanding to know why they did this and why they were there. Five agonizing seconds passed of them laughing at my defiance before they went into their explanation. It was then we all learned the horrible truth.

It turns out Melina overestimated the lack of care shown to her by her clan from her painstaking distancing process. What she didn’t realize was she was being watched by Maria, who grew suspicious as to why her daughter was going off so much. Uncaring as she was at first about her daughter being with so many males and lone females, it didn’t stop her from keeping a close eye on them. Her care rose the more she found out, reaching a tipping point when she found out about Melina and I’s relationship. Melina’s anger finally boiled over on one of her spying trips. Which happened to be on the same day we planned to get out of Diamante for good.

Furious at her daughter's betrayal, Maria gathered as many female Diamond Dogs as she could to stop us. She even got my Mom, who happened to be a childhood friend of hers. Along with Amber, and Annie, and let them know what was up. I have no idea why she let her bring my two sisters along. Maybe so they could see me in a sorry state one more time before really being rid of me for good. From there, our mothers hatched a plan to catch us, that being to let us go through our plan until the last minute. Maria would then stop us just outside of the tunnel that we chose as the exit before doing what she planned to do to us with her clan. We probably would’ve been able to defend ourselves if none of us turned our backs on them. Or if I stood firm in my stance of going when we had the chance. Whatever decision I could have made, everything worked out perfectly in their favor.

Sobbing coming from my right brought me out of my dazed state as I tried taking in the information given to me. Glancing to my left, I saw Melina crying, her tears staining the rocky earth. It must’ve been what kept her from hearing her mother’s insults because what she called her daughter was unholy. To the point where I’m sure even Hecate would’ve ripped her throat out for it. I certainly wanted to and would’ve had it not been for the wounds given to me by my egg donor and blood littermates pinning me.

After thirty seconds of calling Melina every name under the moon, all the females talked out our punishments. I knew Melina was toast since she broke one of Diamante’s greatest laws, which is grounds for exile. Plenty of times I’ve heard of matriarchs occasionally beating their daughters for this before banishing them. If not to show them how much they disgraced them and the clan they were meant to rule. Hopeful as I was for that notto happen, I was worried about what would happen to our friends too. If they would get the same thing Melina would for being accomplices to our plan, or what I got since I was a pup. This of which I prayed was replaced with exile instead since we would all be together.

My prayers were automatically dissolved into ash from what happened next.

Snarling was the first thing to snap the deathly quietness as our friends were ascended upon by the other Diamond Dogs. Screams followed the snarls as multiple jaws and teeth bit and pierced their bodies, all drowned by mine and my mate’s own. I lay there, helpless as they were made into mincemeat. Fur was ripped. Skin was torn. Muscle was chewed and bones were broken. All done right in front of our eyes. I would’ve tried to do something if it weren’t for my sisters keeping me down and my wounds’ severity. Futile struggles were still made by me and Melina to save all those that helped us. All for naught.

Disgusted as you may be from me saying this, I was relieved when the mauling stopped. I felt like I was going to pass out from seeing our packmates being ripped apart like dirty rugs. Wrath was quick to whisk that away when Amber, Annie, my mother, and Melina’s walked up to us, relishing in our emotional states. My mate’s mother blamed me for what they did in front of me and Melina's pleas did nothing to calm it. I don’t recall the words I said, but I know it wasn’t kind. It didn’t mean anything to them, based on the way they guffawed in my face. But I had to do something to make them feel at least a little hurt. I was then asked if I had any last words. I did, and said them with the same poison I did just seconds ago.

“Rot. In. Tartarus.”

For the briefest of the moment, my mother’s face showed the slightest bit of shock as did Melina’s. I could feel my sisters giving the same face and I knew they were speechless by it. Satisfaction filled my chest like water in a well at being able to render them unable to speak. I can’t say that I blame them since this is the first time that I ever insulted them. It did a good job in pushing her to make my sisters finish me off, which showed how much I had irked her. Just as they were going to deliver the final blow, someone else did it to them.

To this day, I have never seen my mate so infuriated as she was after clawing out one of the eyes of my mother. My sisters tried to get back at her for it, but a nasty swipe from her tail kept that from happening. I could feel her rage as she stood protectively over me, fur bristling and poison coating her teeth. Everyone else was looking at her in shock and I could even see fear in the eyes of a few, Maria included. I guess that was one of those rare times she saw Melina angry or enraged if she was that taken aback by it. It still felt good, nonetheless. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see the aftermath due to my injuries making me finally lose consciousness. From all of the barking, snarling, and smashing of rocks I was able to pick up however, I didn’t need to.

Glinting gemstones were the first thing I saw when I woke up, Melina’s worried face being the next thing. I let her hug and lick me for a while before asking her what happened. I was told what was already concluded by me, along with what was not. Her taking me back to our meeting place when she had everyone else distracted. I felt we’d be safe here since this area wasn’t found out yet, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Melina and I decided we would make a tunnel for ourselves to make it to the outside. It wasn’t done right away because we stayed there for three whole days. Mainly so we could bury and mourn our friends and pay our respects to them. I hope they’re at peace wherever they are and that Hecate is caring for them.

To say that our journey to Conall was anything but smooth sailing would be like saying the poison in our mouths tasted like honey. It was an endless journey of dodging danger, getting information, and knowing which ways to go. Contrary to it, food and shelter were far from problematic and I saw plenty of the outside world I was barred from. It was a small percentage of it, yes, and there’d be far more for me to discover. I learned a lot from it and had the benefit of filling the curiosity I had about the outside world. It was the craziest month I’ve had that makes my first three years alone seem like a cakewalk. Crazily enough, we managed to make it, and we found ourselves in the land of Conall at last.

It’s been fifteen whole years since then and many things have happened that I don’t feel like going into. Both for personal reasons and so I don’t make this thing too long. I will say that Melina and I have successfully established our life here in our kind's ancestral nation. Our pups are all fine, safe, and sound with their father and mother and growing. It wasn’t easy for us at first, and there were times past traumas nearly messed things up. We managed to pull through it in the end and have what we desired for so long. What I desired since going off on my own. I can’t say the same for many of my fellow brothers and sisters in Diamante. I know there’ll be those trapped in that cycle, and not all will be as lucky as me. To any that managed to get free and come here, I hope managed to find some sort of peace. If they were able to get passed what I had to in order to find it.

I’m not really sure how to end this off other than saying thank you for reading this I suppose. It’s fine if you didn’t since like I stated above what’s in here is heavy. I don’t know what to do with this journal now that I’ve got my thoughts put in it. Maybe I’ll give it away to anyone who wants to know what things are like in Diamante. I’m sure it’ll be a good deterrence for them, but it may do the opposite. Probably as motivation to help any other Diamond Dogs out of the mess I was in back then… I’ll never really know. I’m just glad I finally got to get out what’s been boiling in my chest for three decades. For any who soldiered their way through here, I thank you for giving this canine your keen ears. I wish nothing but happiness to any who has read this far and desires better lives. May Hecate’s poisonous canines dissolve you of anything that harms you.

Sincerely,

Gulliver Kiba Lycona.