Apple Family Engineer

by tatony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 15347

The Mane 6 find a new friend, one who wants nothing more than to get back home.

Looking for his friend, the Engineer crash lands in Sweet Apple Acres. When he learns he just missed him, he demands to be sent home as well. Unfortunately, getting back home won't be as easy as it was for his pyromaniacal friend.

Sequel to Pinkie Pie Meets the Pyro. I suggest you read it, if you haven't already. Imagine watching Rocky IV without watching Rocky III, it's possible, but the story isn't satisfactory and Cthulhu will hunt you down and claim your soul if you do.

Artwork:
'Play me a southern tune' by BlueBirdRae288

Thanks for reading, do me a favor though. If you want to; favorite, give it a thumbs up, and/or leave a nice, funny, random comment. If you don't want to do that, how about you leave a comment telling me what I can do better. Thanks.

July 22, 2013 Update: Total rework of the chapters, the story is tighter, more coherent, and I would like to apologize to the people who read it before this update. I reread all of it and saw so many obvious mistakes, really shoddy work, again sorry about it, I won't let it happen again.

Published 2012-09-16 22:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-12 07:38:34 UTC

Chapter 1

“I got da creep! He can tell us where the hardhat went!” The Scout announced to his fellow mercenaries. He threw the man on the floor. His suit was torn and filthy. “I found him at the sawmill.” He said dragging his capture to the middle of the room. It was empty save for single chair.

The Heavy put his boot on the man’s chest. “We found you.” He laughed as grabbed him by his neck and threw him on the chair. “Tie him up.” The Scout and Sniper restrained him. The Heavy cracked his knuckles and pointed at him. “I will break you.”

“Mphmm! Mphmm!” The bound man yelled as he struggled to free himself.

“Stop your struggling mate or I’ll have t’ douse ya.” The Sniper said holding up a jar of yellow liquid. “And you don’t want that now, do ya?

“Mmmrhp!” He tried to scream. The Heavy and Soldier stood in front of him.

“Vere is he?!” The Heavy yelled, jabbing him in the face.

“Mrph! Mrph!”

“Not talking, eh sister? Well, let’s see if Madame Shovel here can loosen your lips.” The Soldier said as he smacked the man, a crackling noise emanated from the hit. The Scout pushed the Soldier away from him.

“Whoa! Whoa! Don’t kill ‘im. We need dis freak alive.” He turned the lights off. “Now, I know ya can’t see what I got in my hand. But it’s dat mace, you rememba? Basically useless, but dat don’t mean these spikes don’t hurt after a few whacks.” He lifted his mace and smacked the sitting man. “You like that scum? Talk!” He continued hitting him.

“Mmmmphr!”

“One more kiss, then I’m taking off dat mask.” As the Scout raised his mace, he felt a gust of wind blow him against a wall. “What da? Oh it’s you, glad ya decided to join us.”

“Mmph” (I can hear from the other room that your interrogation isn’t going too well, I am here to help.) The Pyro said standing at the doorway. He lifted up his flamethrower and puffed a few flames around sitting man’s head. He face palmed. “Mmmmprh” (You gagged him. How is he supposed to talk?)

“Mmmrph mmrph mmmm ---” The Pyro removed the gag. “Good for nothing, slacked-jawed, imbeciles! The mute was able to see that I was gagged with the lights off!” The Spy began to spit out blood and obscenities.

“It vas tiny mistake.” The Heavy said stoically. The Scout turned the lights back on.

“It vas tiny mistake.” The Spy mimicked, “And your fist f@#king hurt, capitaine obvious.” He turned his attention to the Pyro. “And you, abomination, the Engineer went looking for you; he told me to sap his teleporter and then he vanished, that is all I know.” He tried to free himself. “You there, bushman, untie me.”

“Shut up, I’m still willing to douse ya.” The Sniper responded. “So boys, what do we do now?” He asked.

“We need Engineer or else job may become difficult.” The Heavy said.

“We should, uh, call the administrator.” The Scout added.

“Negatory,” The Soldier responded, “the last hat she sent us were unsatisfactory. I doubt she’d do any better this time.” His teammates stared at him in confusion.

“Right … Imma go call her anyway.” The Scout ran off, the Pyro following him.

“What do we do with Spy?” The Heavy asked.

“Leave him there; we’re not working till the Engineer gets back.” The Sniper responded. The three began to walk away.

“Can someone get the medic? I think I’m blacking out. Simpleton, fat man, will one of you untie me!” He yelled as his chair tipped over; the Sniper threw his jar at him, drenching the Spy in yellow, sticky liquid. “I hate you.” The Spy sneered.

“Cloak your way out of that.” The Sniper said as he turned the lights back off.

The six ponies watched as the shooting star flew across heading directly toward Ponyville. Before they could begin to worry it changed direction heading toward the outskirts of town. It's crash cause the ground to shake. “Fluttershy, do you think you can see where it landed?” Twilight asked. The pegasus flew up to get a better view.

“Um Applejack,” Fluttershy said as she floated back down, “it landed in your fields.”

“Ma Apples!” Applejack yelled as she ran to Sweet Apple Acres. “Gosh darn it Princess Luna, why ma fields?!” Her friends tried to follow, but quickly fell behind. Only Rainbow Dash was able to keep up with her. She stopped at her farm's entrance. “Rainbow, where did it land?”

“I don’t know, by the apples trees!” Dash responded quickly. Applejack gave her a look. Rainbow flew up and pointed to where the shooting star landed.

“The Red Delicious trees!” She ran into her field, leaving Rainbow Dash behind, she could smell smoke and saw that her family had already gathered around near the crater.

“Apple Bloom, Big McIntosh, y’all okay, where’s Granny?” Applejack asked thinking the worst.

“We’re fine Applejack, Granny’s sleeping. We came here as soon we heard the explosion, ain’t that right Big Mac?”

“Eeyup.” Big McIntosh answered looking at the rising smoke.

“What about the crop, are the Red Delicious trees all gone?” Applejack asked.

“Nope.” Big McIntosh said.

“Princess Luna guided the shooting star into the clearing.” Apple Bloom added. “Well?” She looked at her brother and began pushing him, “go on Big Mac, maybe it’s a new friend, like Pinkie Pie’s.”

“Apple Bloom, get yerself t’ bed, ya have school tomorrow.” Applejack said to her little sister.

“But, Applejack …” She said pointing at the giant hole in the ground.

“Apple Bloom, go.” Big McIntosh told her. She grumbled as she headed back to the house. “Do you think it’s another Mumphy?” He asked Applejack.

“I don’t know, but ah reckon one of us should check it out.” Big McIntosh and Applejack stared at each other. “Ah said,” Applejack cleared her throat “one of us should check it out.” They continued to stare at each other.

“What are you two doing just standing around?” Rainbow Dash. “So that’s where it landed, have you looked yet, is it another Mumphy?”

“Ah don’t know, but I guess the bravest member of the Apple clan should go check it out.” Applejack walked forward and looked back at her brother, his expression didn’t change. Applejack gulped and walked toward the crater. The rest of the mane 6 finally arrived.

“Rainbow, what’s going on?” Rarity asked.

“Applejack is checking out the shooting star.” Rainbow Dash answered. Applejack looked down into the crater. She jumped back when she heard a voice.

“Whew doggy, can’t believe I survived that.” The Engineer pulled himself out of the hole. He stood and saw he was surrounded by horses. “Sorry ‘bout your farm little ponies.” He said, collapsing back into the crater.

“Big Mac, get yer behind over here and carry him inta the house.” Applejack said. Big McIntosh walked over to his sister.

“He doesn’t look like Mumphy.” Big McIntosh said. Applejack put the Engineer on her brother’s back.

“Thanks mister.” The Engineer said, unable to lift his head.

“He doesn’t talk like him, neither. He’s speakin’ our language.” Applejack said as she looked him over. “Make sure he’s comfortable.”

“I’m looking fer my …” The Engineer passed out.

“Twilight, do you think he’s knows Mumphy.” Pinkie Pie asked hugging the book the Pyro had given her.

“It’s possible Pinkie.” Twilight responded.

“He is wearing the same shade of red, it’s quite the coincidence.” Rarity added.

“Applejack, maybe I should stay so I can help you take care of him.” Fluttershy said as Big Mac passed her. “I mean, if you think you could use some help, I can, um, help.”

“That’ll be great Fluttershy, thanks. Okay fillies, I think we should all follow the Princess’ advice and get some shut-eye.” The Engineer groan. “Y’all come back and check up on him in the morning. We’ll be here waiting fer you at breakfast.” Applejack said as she followed Big McIntosh and their new visitor into the house.

Chapter 2

“Ugh, my head.” The Engineer said as he woke up. He tried to remember what happened to him and how he ended up in such a comfortable bed. Let’s see, teleporter, crash, horses … I’m on a farm, alright that’s a start. He felt someone shuffling beside him. “Who’s there?”

“Oh, hello sir, I’m Fluttershy, I, um, been looking after you. I mean, not just me, my friend Applejack and I, oh and her family and the doctors have been looking after you.” She said as she put warm wash cloth on his side. He flinched. “You hurt yourself pretty badly, we didn’t see it when we first found you, but, um, you’ll be okay now.”

The Engineer could make out the young woman's silhouette, but not much else in the room. She moved back and forth, but hardly made a sound. “Thanks Missy, I appreciate the help. Can you tell me where I am?” He asked as he tried to get up. He clenched his teeth, his whole body was sore, he felt around his abdomen, a rib was displaced.

“Don’t move! I mean, you’re still very hurt, just rest for right now and then you’ll be able to get up. I’m sorry I yelled at you.” Fluttershy said, she looked away, afraid that she her patient now hated her. The Engineer could hear her quietly weeping.

"Are you alright?" The Engineer asked, he saw the dark shape bobs it's head up and down. "Thanks fer the advice, I really appreciate it. Do ya think, you can turn the light on? I’m not comfortable talking to someone in the dark.” He put his hand on the side of his stomach, it was bandaged.

“That’s okay; I don’t like the dark either.” She said smiling. “But, um, you see, we had to take off your clothes and um, maybe you’d like to put them on, I mean, if you don’t mind. They’re, um, right there.” She pointed her hoof at the foot of the bed, then realized he couldn’t see them. “I’m sorry, here they are.” She said quietly as she put them on his lap. He started to groan as he put on his shirt. “I’m sorry if it hurts. I’ll get somepony.” She whispered.

“It’s alright darling, ain’t nothing to worry about.” She left the room and walked into the hallway. “Poor girl, hope that shyness don’t affect her too much.” He put on his pants and stood up. Not too bad, I guess, I’ve had a lot worse that’s fer sure. He thought as the door swung open.

“Howdy, I’m Applejack; I’m sorry about Fluttershy; she’s the kindest girl you’ll ever meet, but, uh, well, I'm sure you noticed.”

“Well thanks fer yer hospitality ma’am. Do you think ---“

“Hold that thought sugarcube, I don’t like talkin' to people in the dark.” She opened the curtains. His jaw dropped. “It's a beautiful mornin', if you feel well enough, you're more than welcome to some breakfast. Now what were you sayin’?”

“Uh, um, nothing ma’am, uh, I better sit down.” He winced as he sat back down. I’m hallucinating, she’s not a talking horse, my head’s just a little banged up. He thought to himself.

“You alright?” She asked worried.

“Uh, no ma’am, I mean yes.” He didn’t want to offend her by revealing his hallucination. .

“Well alright then,” She walked up to him and started to shake his hand, “I’m Applejack, but you can call me A.J and yer at my family’s farm, Sweet Apple Acres, we grow the best apples in all of Equestria here. Apple Bloom, Big MacIntosh get yer behinds over here, you too Fluttershy.” She kept shaking his hand as they walked in. “I’d like ya t’ meet my big brother, Big McIntosh, and this little filly here is ma sister Apple Bloom. Of course ya know Fluttershy.” And who might you be stranger?” The Engineer tried not to freak out. He gulped.

“I’m, uh, Dell, Dell, um, Conagher, the Engineer. You can call me, uh, Dell, if you want.”

“Hi Mr. Conagher, how are you feeling?” Apple Bloom asked him.

“Um, a bit banged up, but it's nothing to cry over.” He immediately regretted his choice of words. Fluttershy ran out of the room. “Oh, no, I’m sorry; I didn’t ... mean it like that.”

“Don’t ya worry ‘bout her, she's quick to get over it, sometimes. Are you looking fer yer friend?” Apple Bloom asked

“Apple Bloom, don't bother him with questions right now.” Applejack scolded her sister.

“Well, actually, I am looking fer someone. Maybe y’all seen him?”

“Red suit, black mask, kinda chubby, plays with fire?” Applejack said quickly.

“Ya that's him, you’ve seen him.” He struggled to imagine the destruction the Pyro could've caused. “Has he, uh, caused any trouble?”

“Trouble? Shoot mister, he’s just the sweetest visitor we had, made quite the impression on one of ma friends. Real smart too.” Applejack answered.

“Smart? Well, I don’t know about that; so where is he?” He asked. Maybe this trip was worth it after all. He rubbed his head. "Where's ma hat?"

Applejack smiled and tipped her own hat, " I'm the same way with mine. It's downstairs. Now about yer friend, he went back home.” Applejack answered. "At least we're all hoping he did." She added.

“Home! How? When?” He asked. It wasn’t worth the trip.

“Princess Celestia sent him back. As soon as he left, we saw you coming in on that shooting star. That was, I’d say, a week ago. Right Big Mac?”

“Eeyup.” Big McIntosh answered. He eyed the man up and down, he was no threat physically, but you never can tell with aliens.

“Shooting star? A week! I’ve been here for a week, looking fer someone who’s already gone. And who the hell … I mean, um, thanks fer the information, do ya think you’re uh, princess could send me back with him?” He asked, not sure if he should be relieved or annoyed.

“Err, yeah, you see about that …” Applejack rubbed her neck. “We were gonna send you back the day after you crashed, but Fluttershy didn’t think that was such a good idea. Seeing as how you were injured and all. And, well, Princess Celestia is mighty busy at the moment, has been for a good long while.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked, deciding annoyance was his best choice.

“I don’t really know, you can ask my other friend, Twilight Sparkle, she’s real close to the Princess, so I’m pretty sure she would know.”

“And why hasn’t she told you?”

“’Cause it’s none of my business mister,” She said. “We here in Ponyville don’t like gossiping, not since what it did last time, ain’t that right Apple Bloom?” Her sister looked down embarrassed. "‘Sides we got Princess Luna to watch out fer Equestria and Twilight told me that Princess Celestia will get back soon, that’s all I need to know.

“Well, I need to know more, I thank you fer taking care of me, but I need to get going.” He said trying not to show pain as he got up. “Where does Twilight Sparkle live?”

“Now hold up, you need some food in you, alien or not, I don't think anyone can survive on just apple sauce fer a week. Get some breakfast, lunch, or dinner, whenever you can come down. Then yer going to apologize to Fluttershy, and you ain’t leaving till she accepts it. And then, I’ll take ya t’ go see Twilight.”

“Sure thing ma'am," He said slowly, annoyed that he was being told what to do "Oh and by the way, is there a reason you and your kin look like horses?” He began looking for his wrench, in case he had to do some fighting, he checked his pockets, but he could only feel his guitar.

“What you say mister?” Big McIntosh asked stepping up to the Engineer, “You disrespectin’ ma family like that, in our house, I will break ---”

“Leave him Big Mac,” Apple Bloom said hugging her brother’s hoof. “He’s still just a little bit banged up, he doesn’t mean it.” McIntosh calmed down.

“Mister,” Applejack said, “You get one pass and you just used it, y'all two can leave.” Big McIntosh and Apple Bloom left the room. “One more thing mister, you’ll never call me a horse again, listen very carefully, I. Am. A. Pony.” She left the room and slammed the door.

What the hell? They’re talking horses! Ponies? The Engineer thought sitting down on the bed. Maybe that little girl was right, I’m still a little banged up, I’ll apologize, eat, and things will get better after that. He brought out his guitar and started playing. Yeah, things will be better after I eat.

A lone desk rested in a room much larger than what was really necessary to accommodate it's daily business. It was the office of one woman, though rarely, her employer would enter to scream about imaginary problems. But like most days there was only the one woman, sitting at the one desk, double checking a report, when her phone began to ring, and like always, she took a sip of water and answered it. “Hello, TF Industries, this is Miss Pauling speaking, how may I help you today?”

“Yo, sugar, how’s it going? Your favorite boy toy here.” The Scout said smugly.

“Who is this?” Miss Pauling asked due to protocol, she already knew who it was and loathed having to continue the conversation.

“Don’t be like that, I know I haven’t called you in a while, but you ain’t gotta be mean, pretendin' you don't know me.”

“Sir, who are you? I will hang up the phone if you do not give me your name." She decided to throw him a bone. "Or at least a title.” She regretted it immediately.

“I knew you were just playing. Dis is the one and only Scout, sweetheart.”

“Right ... What is the nature of your call, is your colleague still missing?”

“Yeah, I mean no, I mean, Pyro’s back, but the Engineer, he’s gone missin’ now.”

“Oh well, I will tell the administrator about the situation, unless you would like to speak to her directly.”

“Nah, baby, my ears are only for you. You can rent the other parts of me though.”

“Hmphm”(Give me that phone you inept Casanova.) The Pyro tried to take the phone away.

“Yo back off.” The Scout cleared his throat. “So listen babe; you, me, your place. I’ll let you give me a massage.”

“I have to decline, I will let the Administrator know about you’re situation.”

“One more thing beautiful, we ain’t working till overalls gets back, got it?”

“I will let her know.” She hung up the phone. “Infuriating, delusional, pipsqueak.” She composed herself as she walked into the administrator’s office. “Administrator, ma’am, another mercenary has gone missing.”

“Send a robot and be done with it.” The Administrator remained locked to her television screens.

“Ma’am it was the Engineer.” Miss Pauling responded.

“I know I enunciate very clearly Miss Pauling, but, infuriating as it is, I will say it again; send a robot and be done with it.”

“There aren’t any robots with the model or skill of the Engineer.* And they have told me they will not work without him.” The Administrator's cigarette fell from her mouth.

“All he does is bang on buildings with a wrench, but I supposed to those apes, that is a miracle of modern science.” Helen sighed. “Very well, get me Hale.”

“He’s already on the line.”

The administrator sneered at her. “Do not do that without my saying again.” She answered the phone. She smiled widely as though she could be seen on the other end. “Hale, it has been too long.”

“Helen! What can I do for you, the only woman ever to tame the beast that is Saxton Hale!”

“Oh you.” She rubbed her temples. “I need you to create another one of your evidence removal devices.”

“The sapper? No sale. The small men in white coats who work for me say that it can destroy space time or the something or other. Concerns of the weak are no concern of mine; I have no doubt I would survive any cataclysmic destruction, but if everything is destroyed, what would I fight?”

“Hale, do this and I will …” She thought for a moment “Do this Hale, do not keep me waiting.” She hung up the phone.

Saxton crushed the phone in his hand. “How dare she demand something of me, I am Saxton Hale! Bidwell! Get in here!” He heard ringing coming from his back-up phone.

“Yes sir?” Mr. Bidwell said over the phone.

“Where are you, why aren't you here?”

“I’m at home sir, I heard your call for me.”

“Bidwell, the only home a man should have is the wild. Understand? Now tell the eggheads in R&D to whip up another universe destroying sapper.”

“But, sir ---”

“But what?” He said furrowing his brow, Bidwell could sense it, miles away. Fear washed over him.

“Nothing sir, it’ll be done before your evening hunt.”

“Good.” Saxton crushed the phone in his hand. “And I need more phones!”

Author's Note

* Written before the Mecha Update

Chapter 3

The Apple family and Fluttershy sat around the kitchen table enjoying breakfast. Applejack was thinking about what happened to Princess Celestia, there was no reason for Twilight not to have told her, or at least given her a reason why she couldn't tell her. The rest of her family seemed to go on as though there wasn't an alien sleeping upstairs, the excitement must be gone now that they know he'll live. She thought.

“Thank you for the eggs Granny Smith.” Fluttershy said as she broke up her toast. “Apple Bloom what are you drawing? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“It’s a picture for Mr. Conagher.” Apple Bloom answered.

“Apple Bloom, stop that and eat yer breakfast, I don’t want you late fer school.” Granny Smith said.

“The way he was actin', mighty rude.” Applejack said. “I still can’t believe he and Mumphy were friends, can you Big McIntosh?” He remained silent. They heard the Engineer come down the stairs. He cleared his throat.

“Fluttershy, I’m sorry fer what I said, I, uh, didn’t mean fer it to sound like it did, I wasn’t insulting you.”

“It’s okay.” She said quietly.

“And I’m sorry to you and yers Applejack, I didn’t mean t’ offend anybody err pony.”

“Well, alright mister, seein’ as how you apologized and all, come over here and join us fer breakfast.” Applejack said with a smile. The Engineer walked slowly to the table. “Ya can sit next t’ Apple Bloom, that’s Granny Smith over there. Make yerself at home and I’ll take ya t’ see Twilight afterwards.” The Engineer pulled out the chair; Granny Smith put a plate of eggs in front of him before he even sat down.

“You eat up mister, all we been givin’ ya for the last week was water and apple sauce. Do ya know how hard it was t’ feed you? Not t’ mention cleaning you …” Granny Smith began to ramble; Apple Bloom tugged on the Engineer’s sleeve.

“Mr. Conagher, I heard you playing guitar, I really liked it.”

“I hope it didn't bother anyone..” He answered; I hope these eggs aren’t poisonous He thought as he took a bite.

“No sir, not at all.” She answered. “Here, look I drew this for you.” She showed him her drawing. “See, that’s you, and me, and Applejack, and Big Macintosh, but it’s not finished yet.”

“It’s lovely darling, thank ya.” He handed it back to her. “Um, Applejack, what is this place called?” He asked.

“It was like when Big McIntosh had the runs and we kept jamming…” Granny Smith continued.

“Sweet Apple Acres.” Applejack answered, grabbing a piece of toast.

“And where is Sweet Apple Acres?”

“In Ponyville.”

Not very creative he thought. “Where is Ponyville then?”

“Shoot, you sure do ask a lot of questions, but I guess that's natural, being from beyond the stars and all. Center of Equestria.” She answered as she finished her plate. “You finish yer food, then we’ll go.”

“That’s fine, we can go now.” He said getting up.

“Not so fast mister,” Granny Smith told the Engineer putting her hoof in front of him. “Yer gonna waste away, you eat all that food or yer gonna have to answer to me.” He sat back down and started eating. “That’s better.”

She reminds me of my granny He thought.

“What?! What do you mean you can’t build it?” Mr. Bidwell asked the lead scientist in charge of Research and Development at Mann Co.

“I didn’t say can’t, I said won’t. We had to steal, I mean borrow, a lot of technology from that American military base in New Mexico. A lot of alien technology. Those were one of a kind resources; it’s not even possible to build the casing with just any kind of refined metal, not to mention all of its internal components.”

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, f@*k! I told Mr. Hale it would be ready before his evening hunt.”

“When, tomorrow?”

“A week ago tomorrow.”

“But he hunts every day ... why are you just coming to me now? He’ll destroy us! No, he’ll challenge us to duels and then he’ll destroy us.”

“He forgot all about it when I delivered a new set of phones to his office a week ago. But the administrator called today, asking when it would be ready and it’s only a matter of time before she calls Mr. Hale directly to check on it.

“Why don’t you call her back and tell her it’s not possible?”

“What?! Are you stupid? Even Hale is afraid of her, I ---

“Bidwell! Get over here!”

“Oh no, oh no, oh no, crap.” Mr. Bidwell left the lab and started running across the street to Mann Co’s headquarters. He took the elevator to Saxton Hale’s office. He saw Saxton with a yeti sitting next to him. “Hello sir,” He gulped “Did the Administrator call?”

“What? No. Why would she call?” Bidwell began to answer. “Shut up, I don’t care. I sensed you say my name and the word afraid in the same sentence, you’ll explain to me while I wrestle Chimp-Chimp here, the winner gets to challenge you to a duel. Talk!” He yelled as he began to grapple with the Yeti.

“Is that the same ---”

“I don’t hear an explanation.” He said as Chimp-Chimp put his foot on Saxton’s neck.

“Well sir, I, you see …” Saxton put the Yeti in a headlock and started counting.

“Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten.” The Yeti tapped on Saxton’s back. “Good job Chimp-Chimp, almost broke a sweat that time, a barrel of bananas will be waiting for you in your office. The Yeti walked out of the office “No-holds barred next time.” He yelled out. “Bidwell, send a barrel of bananas to PR.”

“Yes sir, I’ll ---”

“No. Not you. Reddy! Send a barrel of bananas to PR’s head office! There, taken care of. Explain.” Saxton demanded as he sat behind his desk.

“Well you see the administrator ---”

“Wait, hold that thought, I was supposed to do something.”

“Yes sir, we were ---”

“Shut up Bidwell! Oh yes, call the administrator and tell her we have built that Universe destroying sapper she wanted and that if she wants it she can pry from my muscular, magnificent, cold, dead, fingers.” Hale stood on his desk and flexed his muscles.

“But sir ---”

“Bidwell, at this company people can only get replaced by dueling to the death with their successor. Do you want to have to kill someone to keep your job?”

“No sir, I ---”

“Wrong answer, now hurry up before I call Chimp-Chimp back in here to do your job, he’s been gunning for it since we liberated him from those hippies.”

“Sir, how about I tell her we destroyed it and that it’s impossible to build another one as well?”

“Ha, I like it, and when you call her, tell her that I crushed it in my hand.”

“Yes sir, I will contact her immediately.”

“Good.” Mr. Bidwell left the room. Saxton dialed his phone “Hello Mr. President, my assistant is going to fight a yeti. Right, Mr. Chimp-Chimp. I’m betting the Alamo. No not good enough. The Statue of Liberty and … lets see, Rushmore. Deal? Ha ha, it will be held in my office, get here as soon as you can.

“Spike, someone’s at the door, get it.” Twilight told her assistant.

“Just because I look... You’re right here, I don’t see why you can’t …” Spike said. He opened the door and saw Applejack and the Engineer with a worried look on his face.

There are dragons here too? The Engineer thought.

“Twilight, it’s Applejack and the guy from the shooting star!” Spike yelled.

“I’m right here Spike, you don’t have to yell. Hello sir, I see you’re looking well now. I’m Twilight Sparkle.” She said offering her hoof.

“Hello Ms. Sparkle, I’m Dell Conagher.”

“Oh Twilight is fine, um, Applejack can you excuse us for a moment.”

“Fine sugarcube, mind if ah help myself to a book?” Applejack asked

“Go ahead.” She led the Engineer to her kitchen. “So I guess you’re wondering about the Pyro?”

“Yeah, ‘cept I heard A.J call ‘im Mumphy.”

“Oh well to make a long story short. My friend, Pinkie Pie, found him and guessed his name was Mumphy, and he just went along with it.”

“Then how do you know he’s the Pyro?”

“He wrote this letter.” She said passing the scroll to him. He looked at intently.

“I can't read this." He said, handed it back. "Anyways, to tell ya the truth, I already knew he was sent home and if it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to be sent there too, I heard your Princess was the one t’ see.”

“Oh, um, yes she would be.” Twilight rubbed the back of her neck and coughed. “You see, I’m sorry, this is really difficult to explain, but Princess Celestia can’t help you right now.”

“I’ve heard that too, can I ask why?” He said calmly, but he felt his anger building up again.

“Um, no.” She answered.

“What? Listen critter, I’ve been real patient all I want is t’ get back home and I just want some answers about what's going on.” Applejack walk back into the room.

“What’s gonna on here? Are you causing problems again?” She asked getting between him and Twilight.

“No, no, I’m not.” He said slowly. “Listen ponies, all I want are answers. Is that too much t’ ask.”

“Yes, thank you Applejack, don’t worry I can understand why he’s annoyed.” Twilight put her horn on the Engineers chest. “Listen Mr. Conagher, I’m sorry about your predicament, but please don’t raise your voice to me like that at me again.”

“Okay ma’am, put that thing away.” Applejack looked at her friend in disbelief, she had never seen her threaten someone like that before. “What can you tell me then?”

“Well, I can give you two some information?”

“Excuse me Twilight, why do ah need to know?” Applejack asked

“Applejack you’re going to have to help him get back home.”

“What, why? Why me?” She asked flabbergasted.

“Yeah, why her?” The Engineer asked.

“Trust me; we need, I mean you're going to want to have this pony at your side. And I’m going to have to ask you to step into the other room while I speak with Applejack, Mr. Conagher.”

“Mr. Conagher is my father; call me Dell if you want.” She nodded, the Engineer left the room.

“Applejack, I need you to promise me you won’t tell any other pony what I’m about to tell you. And don’t tell Dell until he needs to know.”

“I'm not entirely sure what you mean, but I promise sugarcube. What's with all the mystery?” She asked. The Engineer stood by the doorway and tried to easedrop, it was hard to hear their whispers, too much time surrounded by explosions.

“What are you doing?” Spike asked walking by him.

“They’re talking about me in there, I want to know why.” He answered.

“Dell, right? It really doesn't matter, Twilight wants you back home, probably even more than you do. Want to see what the Pyro taught me?” The Engineer nodded. Spiked clasped his palms together, when he released them a small green fireball appeared.

“Idio- I mean Spike! I've told you already, we're staying in a giant tree, don’t do that in here.” Spike walked away grumbling.

“Mr. Conagh- err, Dell, I’ve told Applejack what she needs to know and she’ll be telling you on your journey.”

“Journey? Where are we going?”

“Just outside of town, to the, um, Everfree forest.” She said quietly.

“Forest, that all? Alright.” He said with smirk. “Fine with me. You ready to go Applejack?” She nodded.

“Move ‘em out then.” The Engineer said, the two walked out of the door.

Twilight saw them off, Spike stood next to her. "Do they suspect?" Spike asked.

"Apart from you, ponies are the stupidest creatures on this planet. But, I think you should go and tell the herd to prepare themselves, it's time for the queen's plan to come to fruition.

Chapter 4

“So, can ya tell me where we’re going now or do I have to wait till we get in deeper?” The Engineer asked. The two hadn’t spoken since they left Sweet Apple Acres. The Engineer borrowed Big McIntosh’s wrench and Applejack was carrying two saddlebags filled of apples. “And is this trip gonna be that long, why do we need all these apples?”

“Some are just in case we get hungry.” Applejack answered. “Ah brought the rest so we can throw them at critters to scare them off, never know what we’re gonna find out here in the forest. Twi said there’s a cave ‘round here where we can find Princess Celestia.”

“Can you tell me what didn’t she want me to hear?”

“Well, she didn’t say much; she just told me to remember everything that happens and to make sure you get back home. I don’t know why she did all of her little secret talk. She was actin’ mighty peculiar.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No, well, maybe, ya see, here in the Everfree Forest everything is off. Plants grow on their own, animals care for themselves, and clouds move by themselves, they don’t even need the pegasus to make rain.”

“And in Equestria, that ain’t normal?”

“Dell, I wouldn’t want to live in a place where that’s normal.”

“Right … if yer so scared why didn’t we bring more ponies? And what do we do when we get there anyway?”

“Ah … it’s a secret.” Applejack answered

“Which one?” He asked.

“The bringin’ more ponies part, but when we get there, we just find Princess Celestia and you can go back home, I guess.”

“You guess? All you ponies are the same, ah guess, ah don’t know, it’s a secret. Yer all probably lying to ma face and I would never know.” The Engineer began ranting.

“Listen mister, I’m the element of honesty, ah don’t lie, you ever hear me lie, it ain’t me. Got it?”

“You don’t lie, a lot of people don't lie. Only honest people don't need to say that.” He said looking around; he heard a noise coming from the bushes.

“You doubtin’ me motha hubbard? I don’t lie, I even have a necklace with a little apple jewel on it that proves it.” Applejack said pointing to her cutie mark.

“Listen pony, I rightly don’t care if yer honest or not, in fact, I don’t care what we do because I already decided that this place ain’t real.” Applejack stopped in front of him. “I messed up ma experiment and now I’m hallucinating. That’s all, the teleporter blew up in my face, I’m just killing time before I croak or wake up. How could any of this be real, yer a talking horse, coming from a town of talking horses. With dragons, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back by the way. This whole place is just ---”

“If this place ain’t real, why’d you even bother apologizing to Fluttershy, huh mister?” She poked his chest. “Why are you out here? Why did ya drag me out here with ya if you think this ain’t real!” He stayed silent as he tried to think of a reason.

“I don’t know, but this ain’t real, it’s as simple as that. You and your family, all this, is just a dream.” Applejack gritted her teeth.

“Oh right, well, if this is a really just some dream, let me wake you up.” She bucked him in his stomach; he felt the wind knocked out of him. He fell to his knees and started gasping for air. “Is this still a dream?” She asked. His vision began to blur. “Oh shoot, I held back as much as I could, I didn’t hit you that hard did I? Are you hurtin’ bad? I’m so sorry, please; don’t move till you get yer air back. I’ll carry ya all the way. You’ll be fine, I promise.” He saw a dark figure approach behind Applejack.

“Be, be, behind …” he gasped out as Applejack fell in front of him. He felt someone hit the back of his head. He fainted.

“Administrator, you have a call from Mr. Hale’s office.” Ms. Pauling said over the intercom. Helen picked up the phone.

“Hello? Yes. How is it coming along? What? Excuse me, what did he do?” Helen began to grind her teeth, it was a habit she wanted to break and instead picked up a stress ball from the box in her drawer.

“He crushed it in his hand.” Mr. Bidwell repeated.

“One more time please.” She squeezed the ball until it popped, she threw it at the corner, where a small piled had formed.

“He crushed it in his hand ma’am. And it is no longer possible to build any more. It was made with irreplaceable technology. Please don’t hurt me.” Mr. Bidwell found himself with the phone hiding under his desk. He heard Saxton yell for him, he was terrified of both.

“Bidwell, where are you?! The President is on his way! The Ruckus in my Office will begin once he arrives! Reddy! Come up with a better name!”

“Don’t worry, you’re just the messenger and I would never kill the messenger.” She hung up the phone. “Ms. Pauling, come in here please.”

“Yes Administrator?” Miss Pauling asked walking into the office quickly.

“How much would it cost to kill Hale and his buffoon of an assistant, Bedwell?” Helen asked.

“For Mr. Bidwell …” Miss Pauling looked at her clipboard, “You have several employees who would do it for free. But Hale is the fourth richest man alive and unfortunately the most dangerous. It may cost several hundred million dollars.”

“To hire one man?” Helen asked mildly surprised.

“No ma’am, for an army, err, several armies” Miss Pauling answered.

“Of mercenaries?”

“No ma’am, actual soldiers, only one man would dare to fight Saxton, but he’s deceased, you would need to pay off several governments in order to use their weapons and man power. Should I call the dictators?”

“No, no, that would destabilize everything, besides too public.” Helen thought for a moment. “Invite him to dinner.”

“Dinner, do you want me to have the chef poison his food?”

“No I’ve tried that before, the man has an iron stomach. It’s disgusting, really. Just invite him to dinner and I’ll take care of the rest.” Helen said turning back around to her television screens.

“Might I suggest ma’am,” Miss Pauling said meekly “Mr. Hale is going have Mr. Bidwell fight a Yeti, perhaps you would like to place a wager in Mr. Bidwell’s favor?”

“And why would I want to do that?” Helen asked her assistant.

“Well, it is a no holds barred, fight to the death. Perhaps we can aid him and you can find a way to humiliate Mr. Hale.” Miss Pauling said.

“I knew there was a reason I hired you Miss Pauling.” Helen said with a smile. “Call the Prime Minister of Canada; tell him I will be wagering his country and get me a plane to Australia.”

“Spike! Someone’s at the door, can you get that? Twilight asked her assistant.

“You’re right here; I don’t see why you can’t …” Spike grumbled as he answered the door.

“Hello Spike, how are you?” Fluttershy asked.

“Twilight, it’s Fluttershy!” He yelled out before going back inside. Twilight came out to greet the pegasus.

“You don’t have to yell Spike, I’m right here. Hello Fluttershy, how can I help you?” She said standing at the doorway.

“Hi Twilight, I heard that Applejack and Mr. Conagher were heading here.” Fluttershy said. Twilight Sparkle stared at her.

“And?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, I was just wondering, I mean, I wanted to ask if you’ve seen Applejack and, um, Mr. Conagher?” Fluttershy asked as she tried to step inside, Twilight blocked her path.

“I did, they came by here asking about Princess Celestia, I told them to go to Canterlot.” Twilight said quickly.

“Oh, but I thought ---”

“I know what you thought, but you were wrong. The Princess is back now, so she can send him back home quickly and easily.”

“Oh, but, um, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.” Fluttershy said as she began to tear up.

“Well then here’s your chance, goodbye.” Twilight slammed the door in her face.

"These ponies I swear, you think you meet the most irritating one and there's another knocking on your door, with even more irritating questions." Twilight told an uncaring Spike, loud enough for Fluttershy to hear her outside.

“Oh, oh dear, um, goodbye Twilight.” Fluttershy said quietly as she walked away crying.

“Where am I? Not again. Is this a new hallucination? The Engineer said as he looked around dazed.

“I told you already, this ain’t a dream.” Applejack said standing over him.

“I guess not, what happened?” He got up and felt a metal clasp around his leg, “What’s this?”

“You fell over and then we got knocked out by something. Don’t worry though, I’ve been awake this whole time and I figured out how to escape.”

“Escape … Escape from what? Why are we chained up?” He heard a roar coming from the end of the cave.

“That’s Ursa Minor, you wouldn’t want to meet that one face to face and that goes double for the major momma.” She began to buck the chain off her leg, it broke easily. “Your turn, now hold still.” She bucked the chain off of his leg.

“Who’s Ursa Minor, is that another pony?”

She laughed “No Conagher, Ursa Minor is a gigantic magic star bear. C’mon if we move fast we can get you home.” She began to walk, but saw he wasn’t following her.

“What? How? And who chained us up anyway?” He asked. Applejack moved behind him and started to push him further into the cave.

“Ah don’t know, but ah think it would be better to get yerself home right now. C’mon there’s an entrance around here somewhere, Twilight told me.”

“An entrance, is it that easy? And what about yer Princess, I thought we were looking fer her? He asked trying to hold his ground against Applejack.

“Help! Help us!” He heard a familiar voice yell.

“Wait wasn’t that yer friend?” He snapped his fingers trying to remember her name. “Twilight, right? What is she doing here? We have to go help her.” He said as he began to walk toward the noise.

“Does that really matter right now? C’mon you said none of this was real anyway.” She continued pushing him until they reached a large crevice. ”Here’s the entrance; now you go on then mister, we, ah mean, ah can take care of everything.”

“The entrance is down there? What, you want me to jump in?” He asked looking down. He spit into the crevice and saw it disappear in the darkness, he couldn’t hear it reach bottom.

“That’s what Twilight told me, now go on.” She began to nudge him to the edge.

“Now hold on a minute. Hallucination or not, I don’t jump just cause someone tells me t’. Now why don’t you explain t’ me what’s going on?” Applejack smiled at him, then turned around and tried to buck him. He quickly moved out of the way.

“That’ll only work once …” He began to remember what happened. He saw that Applejack eyes were turning blue. “You lied.” He said.

“So,” She tried once more to buck him into the opening.

“What the -, what the hell are you trying to do pony?” He asked moving away and reaching for his wrench.

“I’m not a pony, you freak; now get in your grave!” The creature said trying to ram him; the Engineer swung at it with his wrench and hit its cheek. It didn’t faze the creature. “Weak! Pathetic, we'll visit you're world next.” It told him.

“Help us! Is anybody there!” He heard Twilight yell again.

“Im’ma comin’” The Engineer pulled out his guitar and smashed it over the creature’s head. It slumped to the floor. Plenty more where that came from he thought. He let the shattered pieces of guitar drop from his hand and ran toward the cries for help. “Don’t worry critter. I’m coming” As he ran back, he saw the pieces of broken metal chains and picked them up. I could use this scrap. He thought. He came to a large door. As he tried to push them open he heard something snarl from behind him. He turned around “Whoa doggy, you are a big mother hubbard, ain’t ya?” He said. The Ursa sniffed the Engineer. “That’s right, I’m friendly, no need to eat me.” The Engineer slowly reached into his back pocket for another guitar. The Ursa roared.

Chapter 5

Two weeks ago:

“Hurry brother, we don’t has much time.” Rover said to his brother as they dug for more gems.

“Why must we hurry?” Fido asked.

“Idiot!” Rover yelled slapping his brother, “Do you forget what today is?

“Last day of summer?” Rover replied.

“No!” He slapped his brother again. “Today bug pony comes; we must have offering ready.”

“Is it not ready yet?” Fido asked, covering his head.

“Yes, but we must offer more. With more, bug pony won’t hurt us and maybe leaves us alone. You forget already what she did last time.”

“What is this?!” They heard someone yell from across the cave.

“Noes, we left Spot alone, she’s here!” Rover yelled as they both ran to help their brother.

“What is this?” The tall, slender, pony-like creature asked; pointing toward several carts of jewels. “Well?”

“Mistress they are gems, gems like you wanted.” Spot answered. “You said to collect what we love most, we are sorry we could not find more. Please mercy.” Spot begged as he got on his knees.

“I can see that mutt, I said bring me what you love most, is this what you love most?”

“Yes, yes we are diamond dogs, we love diamonds and gems and jewels most.” Rover said fearing for his brother’s safety.

“I don’t believe you,” She didn’t turn her gaze from the dog in front of her. “You two, come here.” They hesitantly walked forward, Fido stood next to his brother, Rover stood in front of them both.

“You creatures disappoint me, but no matter. I have something else I require you to collect.”

“Anything mistress, anything please just spare my brothers.” Rover said.

“Ah, I knew there was something you loved more than these useless rocks.” Rover looked back at his brothers; their paws were covering their heads. “Delicious,” She paused. “Strong. You and your litter live close to Ponyville, I will need you to collect the ponies who live there.”

“Mistress we have had dealings with the ponies, they are clever we cannot collect them so easily.” Spot said.

I cannot make my move so hasty; I will need to spare these beasts for the time being she thought. “I will allow some of my subjects to remain here with you, they will aid you. You are to do everything they command, do you understand?”

“Yes mistress anything.” Rover said as he cowered at her hooves. “Do you want special ponies?” He asked.

“No, it doesn’t matter, they all look the same to me anyway, just bring them.” She responded stepping over him “I have other matters to attend to, but I will be back soon.” She said as the Diamond Dogs scampered away. Fido felt himself being lifted as he ran with his brothers.

“Look, I’m flying.” He said excited. His brothers stared at him with terror.

“I will be keeping him until my return.” She said laughing.

One week and three days ago:

“Bidwell get over here! Are we still being investigated?” Saxton asked his assistant. Mr. Bidwell rushed to his side.

“Excuse Mr. Hale this is a senate hearing,” Senator Delacourt said. “Tell your assistant to leave the floor before we have him arrested.

“Yes, we are sir.” Mr. Bidwell said quickly as he returned to his seat.

“I didn’t say you could leave, tell me why these politicians are wasting my time again, first the thing with the monkey and then the thing with the other monkey, now this … what is this for exactly?” Saxton asked.

“Mr. Hale you are under investigation, again, because we have reason to believe scientist under your employ and under your orders have stolen valuable property from Area 52 in New Mexico.” Senator Brackman answered.

“What?! Lies, Lies and slander, I rest my case, I’ll be leaving now.” Saxton said as he got up.

“Hale. Sit down.” Senator Gray demanded.

“What is he doing here?” Saxton asked, pointing at the man. Weren’t you here last time? There is an obvious conflict of interest going on, I rest my case.”

“Hale, we were all here last time. Senator Thomas has the scars to prove it, now sit down.” Hale squatted.

“What is Area 52, is that some sort of hunting store? I am Saxton Hale; my hands are the only hunting supplies I need to catch my breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

“Mr. Hale please, you know very well what Area 52 is and where it is located.” Senator Thomas said. “Against the better judgment of this government and after several mysterious death threats, you were allowed access to the facility. No less than one day later, several highly sensitive pieces of technology were stolen. What this committee wants is to convict you, arrest you, the return of the stolen technology, and to know what your plans to do with them were.”

“I don’t threaten, I promise. I rest my case, I’ll be leaving now.” Saxton said as he got up.

“Saxton, as your lawyer I highly suggest you stop saying that.” His lawyer stood up. “Gentlemen, this committee has made numerous accusations against my client in the past. But this one, with all due respect, is the most ludicrous. My client, who I would like to remind you is the fourth richest man on Earth, does not commit petty theft, nor does he order others to do so. I would like to see the evidence you may have against him or anybody in his employ.”

“Exhibits A through C: One deerstalker cap with a Mann Co. label stitched to the front, one detonated Model 24 Stielhandgranate hand grenade; although highly damaged, the Mann Co. logo is visible, several empty bags of corpse-grade, quick drying, limestone cement.”

“This is ridiculous, obviously the thief was a customer of Mann Co. there is a reason why my client is the fourth richest man alive, but he is not responsible for what those customers do with his products. Every product sold comes with a liability waiver, granting my client immunity from any actions, criminal or otherwise, that may be committed with them.”

“Bring in exhibits D through Z, Alpha through Omega, and Anton through Zacharias. Exhibit D: One video recording of Mr. Hale speaking to several men outside of Area 52. Exhibit E …”

“Saxton we may be here a while, but don’t wor …”Hale raised his eyebrow at his lawyer. “I mean, I’m sorry, you’ll be out of here before your evening hunt.”

One week ago:

“Hello sister, how has your evening been?” Luna asked sitting on her throne.

“Hello Luna, well I sent a strange creature home today and enjoyed a walk around Canterlot. And how has your day been?” Celestia asked her sister. She saw Luna holding a small purple box in her hooves.

“Well, there was another shooting star tonight, I was able to divert it to a clearing in Sweet Apple Acres, hopefully it did not damage any of the earth ponies’ apples. Oh, I also found this wonderful contraption while I was looking in the royal archives.” Luna said as she raised the small plastic machine so her sister can see. “It produces lights and sounds, and gaze upon this, when I push this red button, the creature inside jumps.”

“Odd,” Celestia said with a smile, “You’ll have to let see it later. Um, Luna is it strange that we’ve had two falling stars in less than three days?”

“It is rare, but not unheard of, what I am more concerned about are these letters we keep receiving.” She said pointing at a pile of scrolls next to her throne. She continued pressing buttons on her new toy. “Ooh, the numbers inside increase when I collect the bits.”

“Don’t worry about those, Twilight Sparkle writes me a letter every week. Sometimes I don’t bother reading them at all. It is the same pic---”

“These aren’t from Twilight Sparkle or from any other pony in Equestria. And they all appear to have only ‘soon’ written on them. Very ominous, though cliché.” She became more enamored with the action inside her toy. “Huzzah, I crushed another walking mushroom.”

“If you are worried, have the royal guard set a perimeter around Canterlot and have them intercept all the letters to the castle.” Celestia said as she stood next to her sister looking onto the screen.

“I am not the one who should be worried; I think you, dear sister, are trying to hide your worry.” Luna said putting her toy down.

“Why should I be worried? You’re the one who suspects danger, it sounds like you’re the one who’s worried. Can I see that thing?” Celestia asked reaching for the toy.

“No, and I am not worried.” Luna answered, as she tried to keep it away from her sister.

“Yes you are.” Celestia teased.

“No I am not” Luna responded.

“Yes you are.”

“No I am not!” She yelled, her voice shaking the room.

“Calm down Luna, no need to use the royal voice, especially if,” she motioned Luna over to her, she whispered in her ear, “You’re so worried.” She grabbed her sister’s toy and flew around the room with it.

“No I am not and give that back.” Luna began to chase her

“Are too”

“Am not”

“Are too”

“Am not”

“Your highnesses,” Postal Mark walked in and saw the two sisters bickering. “Oh, I see you two are busy I’ll, um, I’ll just leave this letter here.” He said leaving the room quietly. Princess Celestia gave the toy back to her sister and opened the letter.

Princess Celestia chuckled “Worried wart.” She said as she read the letter. “Oh my, apparently there is a situation in Tartarus, looks like Cerberus ran away again and … a dragon has appeared? That is strange. I will need to journey there immediately, please watch out for the ponies and Equestria, I will be back soon.” Celestia said leaving the room.

“Sister, please be careful.” Luna called out. She walked back to her throne and started playing with her toy again. “A flower has given me the power of to conjure orbs of fire? How absurd. Ha! Turtles are no match against my wizard of flames.”

Six days ago:

“Spike, have you seen my copy of Daring Doo and the Chalice of Ice. I haven’t read it yet and I can’t let Rainbow borrow it until I finish it.” Twilight asked as Spike ate his breakfast.

“Why?” He asked, munching on a sapphire.

“We’re in a reading race, I’m ahead right now, but she can catch up pretty fast, I need to keep up my lead. So, have you seen it?” She said knocking over books on her shelves.

“Yeah,” He said with a chuckle “Dash borrowed it the day after Mumphy came.”

“What? Aw, she’s probably finished with it by now, I won’t be able to catch up.” She sighed. “Oh well, want to come with me to go visit Applejack and our new visitor.” She said perking up. Before Spike could answer he heard a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it.” He opened the door and saw the blue pegasus. “Hi Rainbow, I hear you’re winning the race.”

“Huh” She said confuse “Oh, hello Twilight I have come to return your book.”

“Thanks Rainbow, how was it?”

“Um, I don’t remember, anyway Zecora told me that she wants you to visit her.” She said quickly, looking uncomfortable.

“Oh, um, where is she?” Twilight asked. “You see, I was gonna go with Spike to Sweet Apple Acres and see how our new friend was doing, maybe you and Zecora would like to come with us?”

“No, it’s an emergency you must come with us, err, me right now. You too Spike.”

“Oh my, what happened? Is Zecora hurt or ---”

“No time to explain, come on, got to Dash.” She said as she flew toward the Everfree Forest.

“Rainbow wait, are you …” Rainbow Dash flew out of sight. “Okay.” Twilight said annoyed. “C’mon Spike we need to go see what’s wrong.”

“Did she say ‘got to Dash.’?” Spike said laughing as he jumped on his friends back. Twilight ran off chasing after Rainbow Dash.

Today:

“Okay there,” the Engineer said putting his palms up. “No need t’ eat me. Look let me take out ma guitar and I can show you a thing or two.” He brought his guitar out and began playing. “Ya see, nice music, how about you relax and enjoy it.” The Ursa began to sway. “Yeah, good bear, nice bear.” A guitar string broke. The sound echoed through the cave. “Oh crap.” The Ursa roared and snapped his jaws at him. The Engineer smashed his guitar over the creature’s nose, the Ursa stepped back and pawed his snout. The Engineer began to bang on the door. “Help me!” He yelled as it cracked open. He ran inside, the door closed behind him, he could hear the Ursa scratching at it.

“Who are you? Wait, I know that shade of red, you’re that visitor, have you come to help us?” He heard a voice ask behind him. He turned around and saw a white unicorn chained to the wall.

“I guess I am missy, listen do you know a pony by the name of Applejack or Twilight Sparkle.” He asked.

“Of course I do, they’re just two of my best friends. I am Rarity sir and I hate to be rude, but do you think you could...?” She asked looking at her chains.

“Let me see what I can do about that.” He pulled his wrench “Stay still” He gave it a strong whack. “Those critters must be really strong or these chains got to be pretty weak.”

“Oh, I assure these chains are not weak, I casted every spell I knew and barely made a scratch. Let’s go, I saw those dogs bring in the others, they kept me separated because we …ahem, have a history.” The two walked deeper into the cave.

“Wait a minute, if you up here why did I hear Twilight Sparkle call for help.”

“Magic darling, she can amplify her voice, surprisingly I haven't yet asked her to teach me. Now come along they should be just around …” She gasped. “Oh my look at these jewels, there must be thousands.”

“That’s our Rarity always having her priorities straight.” Twilight said chained to the wall, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Spike were sleeping next to her.

“I was just joking Twilight, let me introduce you to, um, I’m sorry what was your name sir?” Rarity asked the Engineer.

“Dell Conagher, ma’am, the Engineer.” He responded

“Mr. Conagher, and if you don’t mind, could you free my friends.”

“Mr. Conagher is my father, call me Dell.” He said as he walked over to the ponies. He was able to break them just as easily.

“Thank you Mr., um, Dell, I’ve been trying to break them for hours or maybe days, I’m not exactly sure.” Twilight said as she stroked her chin. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, that’s Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Spike.”

“Ah know who you are Ms. Sparkle, I meet ya in Ponyville.” The Engineer said. “And Spike; and Applejack over there has been takin’ care of me with Fluttershy.”

“Um, are you sure? We’ve been in here for, um, I don’t remember how long, it feels like I should know, but … I think we should get out of here.” Twilight said as the two sleeping ponies and Spike woke up.

“Dell, you're okay.” Applejack said happily. “Wait, what’s going on.” She said looking at the broken chains at her legs.

“Ow, I don’t know, but my head hurts, huh.” Rainbow Dash said looking at her surroundings. “Um, guys where are we?”

“Come to think of it,” Rarity began. “I don’t remember how I got here either, but those Diamond Dog ruffians have something to do with it, I saw them when they brought you four in.”

“Have they been making you look for jewels again Rarity?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t think they have, they put me in a separate room, but they haven’t said a word to me. I don’t think they have even looked at me the whole time I have been here.”

“Have you tried whining?” Rainbow asked, holding in a giggle.

“Wait, wait, wait …” The Engineer interrupted “Look, me and Applejack visited you and the dragon back in Ponyville. And Applejack, I just hit someone upside the head who looked exactly like you.”

“And why did you do that?” She asked.

“She, it, tried to buck me inta a hole in the ground. And it hurt when you did that by the way.” Applejack looked down in shame.

“Sorry.” She replied.

“Wait, I remember following Rainbow somewhere and then ending up here.”

“What!” Rainbow said in shock. “I didn’t lead you here, I don’t even know what I’m doing here, I was reading Daring Doo, but I do know I was here before all of you.” Rainbow Dash pouted. "They could've at least left the book."

“Oh no where’s Fluttershy, where’s Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

“Ah don’t know, but let’s stop wasting time and git ---” Applejack began.

“Ponies are escaping! No get back, you can’t leave!” Rover yelled.

“It was you … wait weren’t there three of you last time?” Rarity asked. “No matter we are leaving and you are not going to stop us.”

“No please, she, she has our brother.” Spot pleaded.

“Who does?” Applejack asked

“The bug pony,” Rover said “Please help us.”

Chapter 6

“Get yourself ready Angel; we’re going to have a nice picnic with Pinkie Pie and Gummy. Won’t that be nice? And maybe the others will join us too, if they’re not still angry with me.” Fluttershy said letting tears run down her face. Angel patted her mane and wiped her eyes; he heard a knock at the doctor and hopped over to answer it.

“Hiya Angel, is Fluttershy ready for our picnic?” She turned around and revealed a small alligator biting her tail. “I brought Gummy for you to play with.” Pinkie Pie said dropping her pet on top of the rabbit. Pinkie looked in the cottage and saw her friend crying. “Fluttershy what happened, are you okay?” Pinkie said rushing to her side. She turned to Angel. “Did you do this?” She asked angrily.

“No Pinkie, it’s just, when I went to go see Twilight, she, she …” Fluttershy tried to hold back her tears. “She shut the door in my face. I just wanted to see Mr. Conagher.” She said quietly.

“It’s okay Flutters, maybe Twilight is just stressed out you know how she gets.” Pinkie Pie tried to figure out why Twilight would make Fluttershy cry, it couldn't have been on purpose. “And you can see Mr. Conagher anytime. I bet you and him will be having fun in no time. Hey, maybe he can even come on a picnic with us, I mean not this one of course since you can't see him because Twilight shut the door in your face." She angrily stomped her hoof. "Um …” Pinkie scratched her chin, “Whose Mr. Conagher?”

“He’s the visitor, I mean, the one after Mumphy.” She said with a small smile.

“Oh in that case I bet we can find him on our own or better yet we can get everypony to help us.” Pinkie said. She saw Fluttershy lower her head.

“He left already and it wasn’t just Twilight,” Fluttershy responded. “I went to go see Rarity to ask if she wanted to come to our picnic and she said not to bug her with my … my stupid issues.” She said crying on Pinkie’s shoulder. “And when I told Rainbow Dash what happened she said If I wasn’t such a flybaby, I wouldn’t cry so much.”

“Angel! You take care of Gummy, me and Fluttershy are going to have a talk with our so-called friends. Don’t worry Fluttershy,” She began saying softly “You and your Aunty Pinkie Pie are going are take care of all of this.” Pinkie Pie said happily as she walked out of her friend’s cottage.

“Still a year older than you.” She said. “Angel you be good and take care of Gummy, okay?” She nuzzled her bunny and followed her friend out the door. “Um, Pinkie where are we going?”

“Well we can’t go on a picnic now and we can’t confront our friends on an empty stomach, so let’s get a quick bite to eat, how about it?”

“I wouldn’t mind going to getting a hay sandwich.” Fluttershy said sniffling. “Oh my gosh!” She ran back to her house.

“What’s …” Pinkie said as Fluttershy returned. “wrong?” Pinkie Pie began to shake.

“Oh nothing, I just had to make sure Angel and Gummy had enough food.” Fluttershy responded as she trotted in front of Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, just so you know I feel a lot better now, thanks for being my PFF, I really appreciate it.” She turned to friend and saw her shaking and staring at the sky.

“Pinkie what’s … oh no.” She said mesmerized by the sight in the sky. A large black mass was heading toward Ponyville.

“Fluttershy, let’s go, we need to tell the others.” Pinkie said as she began running into town. Fluttershy ran close behind her.

“How can we even believe them?” Rainbow Dash asked her friends. “I mean, Rarity do you trust them?”

“No, I do not.” Rarity said stomping her hoof, kicking up dirt onto her coat. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Please Miss Rarity, we are not lying, she has our brother.” Rover said pleading with the ponies.

“Twilight what do you think?” Rarity asked.

“Well, have they made you search for gems since you’ve been here.”

“I don’t … know. What is wrong with my memory?" She shook her hoof annoyed. "Did you two have something to do with that?”

“No, no it’s her and her children.” Spot answered.

“See that’s the part where they lose me,” Rainbow began. “Are we supposed to believe that Chrysalis suddenly came back after that plot whooping we, I mean, Cadence and Shining Armor gave her?”

“We are not lying, she made us collect ponies, she hurt many of our pack the first time we met her, she has our brother, we are not lying!” Rover yelled jumping at them.

“Whoa there doggie, lemme take a look at you.” Applejack said walking up to Rover and looking into his eyes. “I believe them.”

“Oh give me a break, you can read minds now?”

“No, but ah can see that they’re really worried about their brother, there eye's have love and fear all over them.”

“Yeah right.” Rainbow said, she flew toward Rover and looked into his eyes. “I don’t see anything.” She closed one eye, focusing on Rover. "All I can see is an eyeball."

“Applejack do you believe them?” Twilight asked.

“Ah’d put my farm on it.” She responded still reaching at Rainbow.

“Well, we can’t help you from in this cave, maybe you can explain more about what’s happening as your showing us the way out.” She said as she moved toward the large door. The Engineer grabbed her.

“I don’t think you’ll want to go that way, giant star bear, and I think I made him angry.” The Engineer said.

“Follow us ponies, dragon, and … thing; we know how to get around Ursa.” Spot said as he and his brother moved deeper into the cavern.

“The bug pony,” Rover began “She wants what we loved most, we try to give her gems, but she did not like them. When we failed her she said she wanted us to collect ponies, we’ve collected dozens of ponies.”

“Dozens! Where are they? We need to help them!” Spike yelled jumping off Twilight’s back, she levitated him back on.

“They’re not here, her subjects watch over them, but you ponies are special. They said so and made us move you here.”

“What about Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy? Where are they?” Rarity asked.

“All the other ponies are in another part of the forest.” Spot answered.

“Why Ponyville though?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“It must be because how much we care for each other, plus we’re right in the middle of Equestria, it would be a great place to start an invasion, I think.” Twilight said.

“We have arrived,” Spot said moving a rock and revealing an exit. “Please ponies and thing, help us and will help you however we can.”

“We’ll see if we can help get your brother back, but you have to free all the ponies you have captured.” Twilight said looking out toward the forest.

“Uh ponies, ah don’t want t’ be a burden, but uh,” The Engineer chuckled “ Ain’t really no way I can keep up with y’all if y’all gonna start running."

"I'll carry him." Applejack said. She pushed between The Engineer;s legs and put him on her back. The 6 ponies ran toward town, failing to notice a large dark cloud also heading toward it.

“How can we free ponies, if they are being guarded by her subjects?” Spot asked.

“If Miss Rarity and her friends can stop their queen, our pack can defeat little bug ponies.” Rover answered.

“Helen! What are you doing here? Come to visit the only the man you’ll ever love.” Saxton Hale loudly proclaimed as the Administrator and Miss Pauling walked into his office.

“Not exactly.” She fought the urge to strangle him. “I’ve heard that you have a fight scheduled for today and I would like to throw in a little something to wager.”

“Ha, very well, Reddy bring the chart!” Saxton yelled, his assistant walked in quicker than usual. “Reddy, tell Helen what the current standings are.”

“Well, Miss, err, Administrator, Mr. Hale has the Alamo on Mr. Bidwell dying in five seconds, the President of the United States has two landmarks on him dying in six. Let’s see, Buzz Aldrin is betting the moon on him dying in ten, we didn’t even know he owned it. Charles Darling has put his zoos for him dying in 15 seconds. And Francis the talking France has put up several works of Kicasso for him dying in 20 seconds. Prize values are based on time chosen, the winner receives the pot. Will you be placing a wager today?”

“Yes, I will be wagering Canada.”

“Very well and how much time do you give Mr. Bidwell before he is killed?”

“No, I’m putting Canada on him to win.” The administrator said. Mr. Reddy stared at her in disbelief; Hale almost gasped.

“Now Helen, I think being in my presence is confusing your cunning seductress brain. Bidwell is fighting a yeti, a yeti that has somehow survived dozens of fights with me. Now why don’t you put Canada on 25 seconds, it’s a long shot, but that’s where Canada belongs.”

“Mr. Reddy, a frozen wasteland on Mr. Bidwell to win.” Helen responded. He nodded and wrote her wager on his clipboard.

“Well Helen, knowing you, you just want to get rid of Canada, I can sympathize.” Hale said he offered her his arm. “Can I do you the honor of feeling my magnificent muscles while we find go to our seats.” The administrator felt a blood vessel pop.

“Why yes Hale, I. Th-Thank. You.” She cracked her neck. “Where is the fight being held?”

“It was supposed to be in my office, but the name was terrible. We moved it the boxing ring in the basement. We're calling it the 'Rumble Down Under' I wanted to call it thunder, but apparently some male exotic dancers already took that name.”

“Charming, when will it commence then?”

“In an hour, we’re trying to set up a live feed for the talking France, but damn technology is too complicated even for my scientist, we can build a damn universe destroying sapper, but we can’t set up a damn video feed. No Idea what I’m paying them for -” Hale began to blather.

“Where is he?” Miss Pauling asked Mr. Reddy.

“Where else? Hiding under his desk, poor chap is terrified.” Mr. Reddy responded.

“Can you take me to his office; I have something to give him.” She said holding up a white bag.

“Of course, will you be saving the life of my friend today?” Mr. Reddy asked.

“Don’t worry, with this, he can’t lose.” Miss Pauling said as they walked out of the office.

“- I swear if all that science and research wasn’t such woman’s work I would do it myself, no offense of course. But business and hunting, that’s a man’s place.”

Humiliate him, then you can kill him. Humiliate him, then you can kill him. Helen thought.

Chapter 7

“Ladies and gentlemen the Rumble Down Under is about to commence.” Mr. Reddy announced in the middle of the boxing ring. “In the red corner weighing 560 kilograms, or 1234 pounds for you Americans, he’s the beast from the east, the brute from Bhutan, The liberated link: Mr. Chimp-Chimp. The men in audience went wild. Buzz Aldrin and the president high fived.

“Go get him monkey, win me back America's pride!” The president of the United States yelled. “Take your time though. Six seconds should be enough.” He said laughing.

“Let’s go Chimp-Chimp! Bananas as far as the eyes can see if you finish him quick!” Saxton yelled laughing. Mr. Chimp-Chimp began to slap his palms on the mat causing the ring to shake, Mr. Bidwell lost his balance.

“Sacrebleu! Just get this fight started, I have somewhere to be!” Francis yelled from his TV set.

“And in the blue corner,” Reddy continued, “Customer service, the loudmouth, bid farwell to: Mr. Bidwell.” The stands were near silent, Miss Pauling lightly clapped.

“Reddy, what the hell was that?” Mr. Bidwell asked sweating profusely.

“Sorry old man, Hale wrote that piece.” Reddy walked to the blue corner and patted Mr. Bidwell’s back. “Good luck.” He hurried to his seat and rung the bell to begin the fight.

Mr. Chimp-Chimp roared and ran at Mr. Bidwell, he tried to run away. He couldn’t. Mr. Chimp-Chimp struck him across the chest, sending Bidwell flying into the ropes and ricocheting onto the mat. His body was limp, Reddy rung the bell. “After 2 seconds, the winner by technical manslaughter, Mr. -” Bidwell groaned and got back up. Chimp-Chimp grabbed him and threw him into the mat. The audience heard a terrible cracking noise, Bidwell’s body contorted in a disgusting shape. Chimp-Chimp put his arms up and paraded around the ring. Mr. Reddy cleared his throat and rung the bell, “After 6 seconds the winner by bone fractures, Mr. Chimp-Chimp.”

“That’s right you hairy sumb*tch, America on top!” The president yelled from the stands. Bidwell got back up. Chimp-Chimp punched him back down. “After 8-” Bidwell got back up. Chimp-Chimp began pounding him with both his fist, repeatedly, making sure his opponent couldn’t get back up. “After 15-” …After 25-… 42 … 4 minutes … 15 … Half-an-…”

“Hale what the hell is going on?” The president asked loudly, “That boy should have been dead after I won.” Chimp-Chimp got annoyed. He jumped from the top rope and landed on Bidwell. He climbed it once again and threw himself off. Mr. Bidwell rolled out of the way and stood up. Chimp-Chimp growled, charged, and tried to grab him. The contenders locked hands and tried to over-power one another.

“Gentlemen, now you may actually get see a fight instead of being accessories to murder.” The Administrator said smiling.

“’Let’s see how you like it you damn, dirty ape.” Bidwell yelled as head-butted Mr. Chimp-Chimp. The ape-cryptid stumbled back dazed. He bared his teeth and charged. Bidwell met him with a fist to his mouth; a fang broke off. Mr Bidwell picked it up and moved towards Mr. Chimp-Chimp.

“Hale, it looks like your boy there is going to kill that chimp.” The President said to Hale.

“It looks like Bidwell really wants his job.” Hale responded. “Good for him, there’s a reason humans are on top of the food chain.”

“That’s not what I meant, you know those hippies like to snoop around your dumpsters, they find an ape full of holes in there, it won’t be good for business.”

“Right,” Hale said, he jumped from the stands and into the ring, separating the two. “Reddy! Ring the bell.”

“And winner by Mr. Saxton’s decree, Mr. Bidwell.” Reddy announced. Bidwell dropped the fang. Hale lifted his arm. The men in the audience groaned.

“Well Saxton, thank you for a very entertaining …” She looked at Miss Pauling, she whispered in her ear. “45 minutes. We’ll be leaving.” The administrator said as she Miss Puling rose from their seats.”

“Wait a minute Helen,” The President shouted, “that match was crookeder than a bed spring on a fat woman’s bed, if you think that you’re just gonna waltz out of here with-” The Administrator looked at him with a furrowed brow. “with, with, without your prizes, you got another thing coming.” He smiled nervously. The men sitting down watched as their friend sat back down on his seat.

“Don’t worry Mr. President, I own them all anyway.” She smiled as she walked away.

“Reddy! Make sure Bidwell isn’t psychotic by the time he delivers my morning steak!” Hale yelled.

“Miss Pauling, that was, what I’d think you would call entertaining, right?”

“Yes Administrator.”

“I feel like we forgot something?” The Administrator said slowing her pace. Miss Pauling looked through her clipboard. They exited the building. The Australian heat was incredible, but the Administrator barely noticed.

“No, everything on the agenda for today has been accomplished; you decided to no longer kill Hale." A black limo stopped in front of them, the driver hurried to open the door for the two.

“Right, that’s it. Well then Miss Pauling, back to work.” She said as a black limousine drove for the airport.

“What the heck is all that?” The Engineer asked as the ponies reached Ponyville.

“That building? That’s our town hall.” Applejack answered.

“Not that, all the junk that’s surrounding it.” The ponies walked up to the wall of random junk.

“Hey, that’s Granny’s rocking chair and that’s Big Mac’s plow.” Applejack said. Rarity screamed and ran toward the wall.

“Is this the door to my boutique, my sewing machine …” She gasped. “My dress forms! Who did this?! I'll end them!” She said angrily.

“Halt! Who goes there?” Pinkie said, pointing her party cannon at the group of ponies and the Engineer.

“Pinkie Pie, did you take my things?!” Rarity said, bared her teeth,

“Oh,” she giggled, “yeah sorry about … wait a minute, how do I know you’re the real Rarity.” Pinkie said pointing her party cannon back at them.

“Come here and I’ll show you the real Rarity.”

“Fluttershy load the party cannon!” Pinkie yelled. The yellow pegasus appeared quickly and filled the cannon with apples. “Now what’s my favorite color.”

“Pink.” Twilight said. “Pinkie what’s going on?”

“Lucky guess Twilight, there’s a swarm of Changlings heading this way, we built this wall to help defend Ponyville, but I bet you all already knew that.” She said making sure her party cannon was ready to fire at the possible imposters.

“Pinkie we just escaped from a Changling dungeon and if they are coming, we don’t have time for this.” Rainbow said as she flew over the wall.

“Big Mac!” Pinkie yelled, a barrel of apples flew at blue pegasus. She narrowly avoided them, and floated down next to her friends.

“Now, what color is my hair?”

“Pink, now let us in Pinkie!” Rainbow yelled, Pinkie pointed her party cannon at her.

“It’s raspberry!” Twilight yelled, Pinkie Pie raised an eyebrow.

“Brilliant raspberry!” Rarity added.

“It is you!” Pinkie yelled and jumped onto her friends. She hugged them all. "Girls, I missed you all so much, there were changelings here and they were mean to Fluttershy, but it's okay I kicked their plots out of town with Big Mac's help, I was so worried, I wanted to go and look for you, but we had to deal with the attack on Ponyville, we saw a large dark cloud, except it wasn't really a cloud, it was a herd of changelings, it looked just like that dark cloud, but it was smaller because they were farther away." She took a deep breathe. “You’re Dell right? I’m Pinkie, I was Mumphy’s best friend here, nice to meet ya.” She looked at the wall that surrounded town hall and giggled. “Whoops, Fluttershy can you let the ladder down?” A ladder flew from the top of the pile of debris. “Hurry, you guys need to get ready if you're going to help me.” She said as she climbed the ladder, her friends following her.

“Big Mac,” Applejack said happily, “what’s goin’ on?”

“Pinkie Pie said Changlings are comin’, whatever the hay those are, she kicked out a couple already, but she and Fluttershy say more’ll be coming pretty soon. I brought the apples so we can fight them off.”

“Where’s Apple Bloom?”

“She and all the kids we could find are up at the farm with Granny.”

“I have made enough now,” Zecora said as she exited Town Hall, “To bring many changlings down.”

“Girls, get ready we don’t have much time left, they’ll be here any minute; Twilight, you organize. Spike come on. I need you to help me with my party cannon.”

“What does she mean get ready?” Rarity asked.

“I think we’re about to fight for Ponyville.” Twilight answered. “But I don’t know how to organize a fight like this, I don’t know, I don’t know-” Twilight began shaking her head.

“Don’t worry Twilight, I do.” The Engineer said stepping in front of the ponies. “Okay now, who’s the fastest?”
“

I am.” Rainbow Dash proudly announced proudly announced.

“Fast and strong?” The Engineer asked, handing her an empty sack.

“I can carry everyone here and still beat anyone in race.”

“Great, fill’er up with apples and throw’em at the changers or whatever, be fast, don’t get hurt, just think annoying.”

“Um, right.” Rainbow responded, she fastened the sack around her back and went to stock up on apples.

“Who has the stronger the magic?” The Engineer asked Twilight and Rarity. Both looked uncomfortable with the question. The Engineer rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, who’s the stealthiest, then?”

“I have four left hooves.” Twilight responded quickly.

“Well alright, Rarity can ya turn yourself invisible?”

“Twilight’s has been teaching me, but I can only maintain it for a few seconds, I get shorted out easily but if I rest I can stay that way forever.”

“Great, try to get behind ‘em. If you see any of those things alone, try to knock ‘em out, don’t get cocky or you’ll get caught and if you do get caught, run away.”

“I have no intentions to run away from those ruffians, but don’t worry about me, I have just the spell to take care of them.”

“I reckon you have the stronger magic.” He asked Twilight. She lowered her gaze and nodded. “Ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of, at least your modest. “Get to high ground; try to take ‘em out from a distance.”

“Yes sir, I know just the place.” She said she went inside town hall.

“What about me Engie?” A.J asked. He pulled out his PDA and then a toolbox.

“Take this and set up somewhere everyone can get to it.” He said, he walked over to Big Mac. “What are you doing?”

“Pinkie set up these catapults; I stomp on one and send apples flying.”

“How are you gonna reload?”

“Fill up a barrel, load it, send it flying.” McIntosh responded.

“Too slow,” he looked at the wall of junk. “What’s that, a treadmill?”

“That’s the press we use to make cider.”

“Right, bring that press and that tuba here, I’ll make ya something.” McIntosh went to grab the objects.

“Hi, err, zebra, can I ask what yer doin’?”

“It is Zecora kind sir and your question I will answer. I have made this special brew, when it hits a changling, it will go kaboom.”

“What if doesn’t hit a changling?”

“Explode it will do just the same, anything else would be rather lame.”

“Seems like ya know what yer doin’.” He saw Fluttershy huddled in the corner. “Fluttershy what are you up to?”

“Well, I made sandwiches in case anyone got hungry, but you made a sandwich making machine, you guys won’t need me.” She said sadly.

“Sandwich maker?” She pointed to his dispenser; the trays that would normally hold needles and pills were filled with sandwiches and apples.

“Mighty good sammiches, you got here Engie.” Applejack said holding a half-eaten one up. “What’s this crispy pink stuff with the tomato and lettuce?”

“Fluttershy don’t worry, I’m sure yours are much better than mine and you can move around, that hunk of scrap can’t help anyone who can’t reach it, we’ll still need you.”

“Really?”

“Really, now I gotta check up on the rest of ponies here, I’m counting on you to help me, help them.”

“Yes Mr. Conagher.” She said.

“Call me Dell.” He walked over to the wall. “Pinkie Pie what are you doing?”

“Me and Spike are going to throw fire apples at them, let’s show him Spike. The two positioned themselves near the party cannon. “3, 2, 1, Boom!” Spike blew a stream of fire near the opening. Pinkie shot her party cannon into air. Apples engulfed in fire peppered the sky before disintegrating.

“And check out what I can do,” Spike placed an apple in his mouth and belched. The apple zoomed quickly into the sky.

“Conagher, here are the things you wanted.” McIntosh called out to the Engineer.”

“Good job, you two,” he walked over the stallion. “You any good at running?”

“I’m good at anything if it protects my family.”

“Good man, pony, okay now put this here, and take this faucet out.” The Engineer began dismantling the press and banging on it with McIntosh’s wrench. He took the tuba apart, leaving only the bell. After a few whacks he finished. “Here ya go, run on this.” Big Mac got on the treadmill and began running; the bell shook for a few seconds and shot apples quicker than anyone could count. “It takes a second to get going, but this’ll be quicker than the catapult, just add apples here and turn the bell t’ aim. Everybody Ready!” The Engineer called out.

“Let’s get ‘em.” Rainbow Dash said whizzing around the sky.

“Ready.” Spike said with thumbs up.

“Hudda hudda huh!” Pinkie yelled. The rest had no idea why.

“If they think they’re going to best me, they’re gonna have another thing coming.” Zecora said next to a pile of glowing orbs.

“Yep!” McIntosh said stretching. He sneezed.

“Gesundheit.” Fluttershy said, running over to with a handkerchief.

“Ok up here!” Twilight yelled from the top of town hall.

“After you, darlings.” Rarity said as she practice disappearing.

The Engineer out brought his PDA and set down his sentry gun on the wall. I wonder what this is gonna do. It looked normal He upgraded it to a level 3, the sentry moved left to right and beep as it normally. I hope I can help these ponies out.

“Did ya hear, Hale’s assistant almost killed his pet yeti.” The Demoman drank deep from his bottle of foul-smelling liquid. Good thing I’m not a gambling man, some poor fool could’ve lost it all. Got any three’s?”

“Negatory, go fish. Yes I did, lost a bundle, damn monkey. That’s the one we should blasted off into space. Got any four’s?”

“Nein. Didn’t Miss Pauling visit that vizard you live with before the fight? Any Jacks, Spy?”

“No, but I did make out like a thief; in a battle between man over beast, always bet on man. Sniper give me your fives.” Spy said reaching for the cards.

“How the hell do you always know?” The Sniper asked, handing over two cards.

“I’m a man of many talents. Scout your Sixes.”

“Well that’s it I’m out. What was she doing, with Mesmarus?” He asked nervously.

“What do you think boy?” The Spy responded grinning. “Heavy, your twos.”

“Don’t matter what I think, I want to know.”

“My sources told me that she picked up certain pills, ones that would guarantee victory for Mr. Bidwell. Degroot, any sevens?”

“Nah,go fish. What pills? And where’s Pyro? Soldier, any eights?

“Affirmative. Kill Me, Come Back Stronger Pills.” Soldier responded handing over a card.

“Did’ja know mate? Medic any fours?”

“Nein, go fish. Vell Soldier did ja know?”

“Of course I knew, I have an alarm that goes off every time he scratches his ass.”

“Vhat! You knew he had those pills and you still didn’t bet on him.? Spy any queens?”

“How the hell was I supposed to know he was going to use them to win.” The Soldier responded.

“No. Leave him alone medic, we will never understand his logic. Tens.” The Sniper threw two cards at him.

“You think the Administrator is ever gonna get back to us?” The Scout asked.

“Doubtful. Any Sevens?” The Spy asked the Heavy, already knowing the answer.

“Go fish.”