Author's Note

This story is currently in the process of being revised.

Chapter One (Revised)

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“...what?” Rally couldn’t help but laugh to herself. It was just about the last thing she’d expected to see on a My Little Pony fanfiction website. An ad for a spellcaster in a forum about Rainbow Dash. The sheer shock of seeing the thing made her lean back laughing in her chair, almost falling out of the thing.

She was already clicking over to Discord to share it with her friends. It was something they had fun doing; browsing the website to see what silly things they could find as they chatted and read stories. They’d found some pretty wild things before, but so far, Rally could say that this took the cake.

Look at this, she typed out in a group chat with her friends, sending a screenshot of the ad along with a few of the comments from the forum. I love this website so much. We get such great content as this. Ads for spellcasters.

Where in the world did you find this, Rally?, one of them, Shorey, asked. How do they just allow ads for fake services about spellcasting to be posted? Seeing this makes me sad.

Doesn’t make me sad, Rally replied. I love it. I think stuff like this is great. Besides, I’m sure he’s one hundred percent legit, just like everyone else who’s claiming to be a spellcaster. As she typed, an idea suddenly came to her, and she said, I think I’m gonna call this Lord Zulu guy.

She knew this was what just about every MLP fan dreamed of, and wanted to play along with the idea for a while. Almost everyone she came across in the fandom said they’d rather be a pony than a human, and from all the stories she’d read, this was how those things started. It was a concept that made her laugh harder. She couldn’t imagine what she would do if, for the first time ever, it turned out to be real. Not that she even came close to suspecting it would be.

She was already on the line when Shorey was telling her that she shouldn’t. You know, this could end up being something that you get charged by the minute for, he told her friend. You’re gonna call them and then receive a hundred dollar bill in the mail in three weeks, you know that, right?

Well, I’ll pay a ten dollar bill if I'm sent one, but not a hundred, she said with finality, completely brushing off what he told her. They’re gonna have to take me to court for that.

As Rally typed it, the line was suddenly going to voicemail without ever being answered. It was what she expected though. She didn’t expect to be provided with very much entertainment from a random ad on a random website. It wasn’t even a real phone number, one that was being hosted through WhatsApp. She didn’t think she’d be provided with much more than a few minutes of fun.

They didn’t even answer anyway, she finished. I just wanted to be a pony in Equestria. I’m a simple girl with simple dreams.

However, as she typed it, her phone started to ring, and she started to laugh again. The spellcaster, Lord Zulu, was actually calling her back, to her surprise. Her fun would last a few more minutes at least.

“Hello?” she asked as she answered the phone. “Am I speaking to Lord Zulu?” She wore a smile the whole time, absolutely ready to start trolling whoever this person was.

“Yes, this is Lord Zulu,” the man on the other end answered, having an accent that Rally thought was Indian or Pilipino or Sri Lankan or from some other country in southeast Asia. “You are calling about a love spell sir, yes?” he asked.

“Um, I’m a ma’am,” she said quickly, silently cringing at her voice before brushing past it. “But I was calling about a spell to turn me into a pony in Equestria,” she told him.

She was back to smiling during the moment of silence as he tried to process what she was saying. After a second, he asked, “You are calling about what kind of spell?”

“I want a spell that will turn me into a pony in Equestria,” she repeated, doing her best to sound completely serious. “Your website was advertised on a My Little Pony website, so I want a spell that will turn me into a pony in Equestria.”

“Hmmm, I see,” he said, sounding like he was deep in thought. “I do believe this I can do.”

“Well, I don’t think you can, but if you could-” She wasn’t able to get out any more than that when she was abruptly hung up on.

She didn’t let the experience get her down though. After all, she was only looking for a few minutes of fun while she trolled the man. It was a surprise he even called her back in her opinion.

She smiled to herself and let out a breath as she explained what happened to her friends. A few of them seemed to react as though they were laughing behind their screens at what she told them, which made her laugh harder herself.

He has a website and everything, she typed. I mean, how can you not trust a website hosted by website2.me? I absolutely would.

Well, it’s all fun and games until you get charged, Shorey told her seriously. When you get a bill in the mail, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

If I become a pony in the next twenty four hours, then I will pay whatever bill is sent to me. It would be absolutely worth it to be the cutest mare of all time.

Well, if you suddenly go missing in the next twenty four hours, another friend, Forrester, started, then I’m going to be the first to follow you. We’ll make it a group thing.

You better. I can’t just go alone. We need everyone there. You know, for science.

Oh, of course. I would never abandon you. Who’d be there to save you from whatever danger you found? Or whatever drugs you took, more likely? Shorey and I, obviously.

She laughed at the idea of that. She, Shorey, Forrester, and the rest of their group chat friends ending up in Equestria. If she did ever go, as unlikely as it was, she wouldn’t have been surprised to see a line of people right behind her. Rally couldn’t imagine anyone who would pass up on something like that.

She couldn’t imagine anyone she’d rather be with in Equestria either. Out of everyone on Discord, and even counting most of the people she knew in real life, she could safely say Forrester and Shorey were probably her best friends. She spent most every night online with them, hanging out and watching movies and playing online games and whatever else they came up with. She couldn’t think off the top of her head anyone else she had more fondness for, Shorey especially. If she could, she would absolutely want to go to Equestria with them.

She laughed the idea out of her head, putting it aside and focusing her attention on other things. As hilarious as she thought the ad was, it was still just a ad, and not even a real one at that. Rally had other things to take care of outside of it. She got back to work on other more important things, almost forgetting about it until she got a text from the spellcaster a couple of hours later.

Hello, I’m here to get back to you on the spell you requested, Lord Zulu wrote to her, making her smile wide as she read it. You said it is not a love spell, correct?

Nope, not a love spell, Rally texted back. I just want to be a pony in Equestria. Can you do that for me?

If you have anyone going through relationship problems, you can refer them to me, he told her, seeming like he was missing what she was saying. Not that she’d let that ruin her fun.

If you turn me into a pony in Equestria, I will refer my whole friend list to you, she told him. I already told everyone to get in my friends group to call you if you did.

I can, he said, but it’s going to cost you money for the materials to cast the spell that will turn you into a pony and put you in Equestria, that’s a three hundred dollar fee.

Before she could even reply, he sent a list of information Rally needed to provide to him. It contained things like her first and last name, her county and state, her age and phone number, and more. It was certainly more than she was willing to give out for a joke. More that that, she absolutely wasn’t going to be sending money to someone who she knew was clearly scamming her.

I don’t have that kind of money, unfortunately, Rally said. Think you could spot me for ninety nine cents? Also, since you’re a spellcaster, can you just read my mind and put that information in for me?

Do you believe this to be a joke? Lord Zulu asked in response. Dear ma’am, I am serious when I require three hundred dollars. Materials for transportation spells are quite expensive.

Was this guy being serious? Rally thought he’d have given up by now– most scam artists did– but it seemed like he genuinely thought he’d get her money. It gave her more entertainment, at least.

Exactly!, she replied. Which is why I’m offering you ninety nine cents! You can buy a cheeseburger from McDonald’s with that kind of money, or three cookies! Think of it! She couldn’t help but laugh out loud to herself when she saw the notification saying he’d read what she sent. Rally didn’t do things like this all the time, but when she did, she tried to go all out and have as much fun as she could with it. The sillier it was, the better it was in her opinion.

Or, since you’re a wizard, you can time travel and put it into Bitcoin and become a millionaire! Just think of the possibilities!

It was a longer time now before he sent a response, Rally assumed because he was finally catching on that she was trolling him. When he did reply, he only asked, Do you believe I’m trying to trick you? Is this a joke on your part?

She laughed at that question. Absolutely not! I would never ever joke about spellcasting! These things are a serious matter, which, as a wizard, you should know. It’s offensive that you would ever even insinuate such a thing of me. I’m insulted! Just for that, I might take my business elsewhere!

I see, he replied, almost impossibly fast, a matter of seconds after she sent her last text out. You are trying to play games with me. For this, I will teach you a lesson, one that will only be learned by granting you what you ask for. There’s no need for you to send your information. Your phone number should be sufficient enough to acquire it. The only requirement is that you tell other people of what I’m about to do. Since you and whoever you associate with are unbelieving, you will be used as an example of what I can do. When your friends know that you got your wish fulfilled, the rest will be required to pay for their spells. In less than twenty eight hours, your wish will be granted.

She couldn’t help but think about what an oddly specific number he’d chosen. Not twenty four or forty eight. Twenty eight. She didn’t know if there was any significance about it, but imagined he’d just chosen it off the top of his head.

Oh, I absolutely will, she responded. I’ll give them your Whatsapp phone number and everything. You’re gonna be so rich! But, you know, it would be better to just settle for my pocket change and go back in time and invest in Bitcoin. Also, you gotta make sure I’m an alicorn. I’m gonna be disappointed and won’t recommend your services if I’m not.

Rally waited for a response, but none came. She guessed that meant he was done dealing with her joking. With that, she sent screenshots of their conversation to Shorey, Forrester, and the rest of their group chat. It seemed like they got just as much of a laugh out of it as Rally did, and commented their thoughts on the situation.

I’m telling you, I’ll absolutely be the very first person to pay three hundred dollars to go to Equestria, Forrester said. Lucky you, getting to go for free.

And in twenty eight hours, too! she typed as she laughed behind her screen. It’s very considerate of him to give me that exact timeframe.

Just make sure to change your Paypal and Discord passwords and stuff, Shorey instructed. You know people can log into those things with just your phone number. I don’t want to see you get hacked and scammed, Rally.

Eh, I’ll do that if I get an email about a login attempt. I just can’t wait until I turn into a pony and get to meet Princess Celestia. It’s gonna be the best. Anyway, what have you guys been up to?

The conversation moved on from there, and any thought either Rally or her friends had of Lord Zulu left her mind. She didn’t even give the conversation they had a passing thought the rest of the night, or the next day as well. No thought came of either Lord Zulu or the ad, not even noticing that twenty eight hours had passed with nothing happening to her. It seemed just as quickly as the ad appeared in her thoughts, it left.

Around that time though, she did yawn and flop onto her bed, deciding that she could go for the rare nap after a long day of work. She set her alarm for two hours, thinking to herself that she’d get back up after that and proceed with the rest of her day. Before she closed her eyes though, she made sure to let Shorey and Forrester know that she was going for a quick nap, and assured them that their usual plans for voice chatting before bed were still going to happen.

Rally didn’t keep her plans, the rest of her day not proceeding quite the way she thought it would.