Rainbow Dash Goes to Schoolby Stormin AwayChaptersPilotPep RalliesField TripsMondaysPilotRainbow Dash lay calmly in her bed as the sun slowly peaked above the horizon. This bed however, was not her usual cloud-home bed, but the bed a simple two-bedroom house close to Manehattan. After a few more seconds, an obnoxious beep sounded from Rainbow's alarm clock which sat on her nightstand. Rainbow Dash tried to shrug it off, but eventually resorted to smashing it with her hoof, making the annoying sound stop. Rainbow slowly sat up on the edge of her bed and let herself wake up, "Ugh, first day of school..." Rainbow Dash mumbled to herself as she breathed slowly and heavily. Eventually, Rainbow got up and made herself some coffee. Soon, she grabbed her ready coffee and went to sit down on her sofa and sipped it slowly. In the middle of her morning haze, Rainbow had remembered something: she had acquired a letter before she left Ponyville saying that all students enrolled in Manehattan High School had to be in their homeroom no later than 8 o' clock. Shocked by this memory, Rainbow quickly looked up at her clock, which read 7:59, "Fuck" Rainbow quietly said to herself, then dropped her coffee mug on the ground and bolted out the front door of her house, spaztically running.. Running through the streets of Manehattan and avoiding moving chariots, Rainbow Dash finally made her way to Manehattan High School. She busted through the front doors and smashed through ponies that were still in the hallway. Eventually getting up to her homeroom, Rainbow slowly sat down at a desk in the front of the room. The teacher at the podium however, was speaking what sounded like random gibberish, but Rainbow could make out, "Sit down and all that shit" the teacher said to his 1st period class. Rainbow was exhausted from having to sprint all the way to school, so she let her head fall onto the desk and continued sleeping, "My name is Mr. Cool and I'll be your Italian teacher for this year" The teacher identified in a very dull voice. Just then, a pink pony with a bubbly mane sprung to life from her slumber, "MR. COOL! THAT'S SUCH A COOL NAME! I WISH MY LAST NAME WAS COOL!" This pony annoyingly yelled, obnoxiously laughing after saying that. Mr. Cool just disregarded this and kept talking, "Now, to take attendance, Lyra..." A toothpaste colored unicorn on the far side of the room raised her hoof, "Bon bon..." Mr. Cool said again, and a tan colored Earth Pony sitting in front of Lyra raised her hoof, "Rainbow Dash..." Mr. Cool called to the sleeping pegasus, "Rainbow Dash..." Mr. Cool said again, "HEY FAGOLA HE CALLED YOUR NAME!" The obnoxious pink pony yelled, making Rainbow Dash awake, "Wha..." Rainbow said in confusion, "Oh! Are you Rainbow Dash?" Mr. Cool sarcastically asked. Just as Rainbow was about to say something, "HER REAL NAME'S GAY SLOWPOKE BUT WE CALL HER RAINBOW DASH BECAUSE WE'RE COOL!" The pink pony butted in, laughing annoyingly after, "Yeah, whatever" Mr. Cool boringly said, "Pinkie Pie..." Mr. Cool added on, "PINKIE PIE'S NOT HERE, PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP, BEEEEEEEeeeeEEeeEEeeeeeeeeeeep" Pinkie Pie yelled in response, letting her head hit the desk again, "That's Pinkie" Rainbow said to Mr. Cool, motioning her hoof back to the sleeping pony, "Okay class, that's the attendance for this year-" Mr. Cool was saying before being interrupted by a white mare with a frizzy blue mane in the back of the room, "Woah, did you have too many bottles of vodka? You forgot me DUDE!" this pony yelled up to the teacher, "Oh, ok, Vinyl Scratch..." Mr. Cool quietly said back. Just then, Pinkie started yelling random Italian gibberish before the bell sounded, making everyone pile out the door of the classroom. Pinkie however, spaztically flew out of the room like someone throwing a ragdoll with a lot of force. -- At both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie's 2nd period class, a fairly casual looking pony stood in the doorway of a classroom. Rainbow Dash simply walked in and took her seat. Pinkie Pie, however, flew in at a very high speed, knocking the presumed teacher off his hooves. As the rest of the class came into the room, the teacher randomly appeared behind the podium at the front of the room, "Sit your fat asses down you packs of huge vibrators!" The teacher yelled out uncaringly, "Look at you little shits, with your Rainbow manes, your faggy ass cutie marks, and your oversized wings, and your pointy ass horns, and your sexy coltfriends, and your hot sport chariots, and your stupid sense of humor, you fagolas make me sick. Literally, SICK! Hold on, let me call the doctor" The teacher said in a strange voice. Rainbow Dash just stared in confusion at what the teacher had just said to the class. Pinkie however, annoyingly laughed at the statement, "THIS COLT'S MY KIND OF FUNNY!" Pinkie loudly stated, "Well you know what? Your face is funny!" The teacher exclaimed while throwing a boot at Pinkie's face, though she didn't seem affected by it, she now had a blank face, "Hey, that's not nice" Pinkie said in a normal voice for once, "Your mom was not very nice either!" The teacher shouted back, Pinkie still had a blank expression. Then, a cream colored pegasus in the back of the room shyly raised her hoof, "What the hell do you want!?" The teacher shouted to the back of the room, "I... um... um-" The pegasus quietly said, but a random boot came out of nowhere and hit her in the face, "That's great. Now, back to my fucking retarded speech, which I never started because these fagolas threw me off my groove, especially you, you dicksponge" The teacher stated, motioning towards Pinkie, who still had a blank face, "My name is Mr. Higglesworth, and if you do what I tell you to then you all FAIL!" Mr. Higglesworth said to the class, laughing very awkwardly after. Rainbow Dash just gawked, having no idea what was up with this teacher, Amongst the teacher's laughter, "Ah, fail, it's such a funny word!" Mr. Higgs said before resuming laughing. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a stallion whispering into another student's ear, "NO TALKING! F!" Mr. Higgs shouted before throwing a clipboard at the stallion's face. Looking towards the front of the room, he noticed Rainbow Dash doodling on a sheet of lined paper, "Oh look! Looks like we have an artist in the class! Let's see how bad her drawing is!" Mr. Higglesworth commented. Snatching Rainbow's drawing, he carefully examined it. The picture was an incredibly detailed portrait of Rainbow Dash and Spirtfire embraced in a tight hug. Mr. Higglesworth laughed obnoxiously at the sight, "Not only an artist but a lesbian!" Mr. Higgs continued laughing as he chucked the piece of paper out the window, which it somehow shattered it like a rock and landed outside. The stallion who was caught talking came straight up to the psychotic teacher, "HEY! That is uncalled for!" The stallion scolded to the teacher, "Well since this fagola talked in class, POP QUIZ!" Mr. Higgs loudly exclaimed to the class. In a split second, everypony in the room was in test taking mode, while Mr. Higglesworth was now sitting in a soft recliner. Rainbow Dash just stared at the test in confusion, still dazed by the past events, "What does 3y(2x)98/32-6-x-n-3-poop equal? The hay is this?" Rainbow Dash though to herself as she attempted to take this "quiz". Just then, Mr. Higglesworth turned to her, "This how it works you fagola! I read your thoughts! F!" Mr. Higgs yelled then threw a clipboard at Rainbow's face. Some muffled speaking was heard from Rainbow Dash, now lying on the ground, "You talked, double F" Mr. Higgs added on, "WOW, DOUBLE F? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!" Pinkie yelled spontaneously, "You talked, A+" Mr. Higgs responded, "WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash yelled in disagreement, "F" Mr. Higgs quickly clarified. Rainbow Dash just slumped back in her seat in disgust, "Pss, Rainbow Dash! I'll give you the answer to number one if you throw this at Mr. Higglesworth!" Pinkie Pie whispered to the cyan pegasus with a crumpled piece of paper in her hoof, "You talked, A+!" Mr. Higgs said back to Pinkie, "Ha! Never mind, Fagola!" Pinkie said again, this time throwing the paper at Rainbow Dash. Just then, the bell started ringing, and everypony got up and left the room, "Bell rang, all of you fail!" Mr. Higglesworth said as his goodbye to the leaving ponies. -- I Rainbow Dash's 3rd period, a pony looking like the mayor of Ponyville sat at a desk in an office chair with a keyboard in her lap, as a text-to-speech translator spoke, "Hello class, please sit in your-" The voice spoke, but was cut off by Pinkie's annoying laughing, "Stop laughing and sit down" the voice said, "Oh, OK, sorry" Pinkie replied in a normal voice, but immediately resumed laughing, eventually going to sit down at a desk, "My name is Miss Pony, and I will be your magic study teacher for this year" The translator said again. Pinkie continued to laugh obnoxiously, "WHAT ARE YOU, IROBOT?" Pinkie annoyingly yelled out, "I have a broken voice box and have to use a text-to-speech translator to speak to the class" The program stated, "TEXT TO SPEECH! MORE LIKE TEXT TO GAY! I'M SO FUNNY!" Pinkie blurted again, "I will be taking attendence, please raise your hand when I call your name" The translator continued, "H-hold on a sec" Pinkie said in her normal voice, then shoved miss Pony, who was still in an office chair, out the window and out of the school. Pinkie then took control of the text-to-speech machine, "I am an old fart that likes to do nothing but do Rainbow Dash's mom in 69 before the pussy pussy pussy" Pinkie made the translator say. Soon, Miss Pony came back in a new office chair and threw Pinkie out of her seat, "That was not necessary, please do not do that ever again" Miss Pony responded to Pinkie's actions, "THAT'S WHY YOU LIKE MY PUPPET SHOWS!" Pinkie yelled from her seat, then threw Miss Pony out once again. However, just as Pinkie was about to make her moves, the bell rang, and all the ponies in the room left. -- The last period of the day for the cyan mare was PE, and as ponies were entering the gym, a burly white stallion with a crystal blue mane was yelling from the other side of the gym something Rainbow couldn't make out, but she did know that this was Shining Armor as their PE coach, "GET 20 OF WHAT? THE NUMBER OF TURDS THROWN AT YOUR FACE?" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled back to Shining Armor, "Do not back-talk to me young mare! Or you will spend the rest of your life in the Rainbow Factory! Give me 20 Push-ups PRONTO!" The coach yelled back, vigorously pointing towards the ground, "TEN HUT! Line up in formation against the wall!" Shining Armor yelled, so everypony in the gym did just that, "HEY FAGOLA! YOUR A GYM TEACHER NOT AN ARMY GENERAL!" Pinkie challenged to the stallion, "I was in the Equestrian Royal Guard for 25 years, so suck it up filly! Now what I want you to do, is climb this rope, the higher you go, the higher your grade gets! First lucky one up, is you!" Shining quickly stated then motioned towards Pinkie Pie, so she casually walked up to the rope hanging from the ceiling and began to climb it, inflating her bubbly tail orally as she went. Once she got to the top, "HEY! I CAN SEE FAGOLA CITY FROM HERE! OH LOOK! THERE'S RAINBOW DASH'S HOUSE!" Pinkie yelled from the top of the rope as her tail deflated. Soon, she lost grip of the rope and came crashing down to the ground, "Hmm, F, Next!" Shining yelled out to the crowd. Up came Vinyl Scratch, who began climbing the rope in silence. However, when she got only a few feet off the ground, her vision started to blur, "Woah, woah! I think I had too much boooooooze!" Vinyl screamed before landing on the ground, "Hmm, D, Next!" The coach yelled again as Rainbow Dash came up to the rope and began climbing. The climb came very easily because she used her wings to assist her, but once she was at the top, the rope snapped, and Rainbow suffered the same fate as the previous ponies before her, "Hmm, F, Next!" Shining said to the fallen pegasus, who just sighed in agony over how her day had gone. This was going to be a long year... Pep RalliesRainbow Dash was snoozing as usual after the crazy day she had at school previously, until the ever so familiar beep of her alarm clock snapped her awake. Standing up in her morning haze, Rainbow started to push the stop button on her alarm clock, but after about 5 presses, it didn't work. Rainbow Dash just disregarded it and moved on. This time however, Rainbow simply bolted out her front door and started spaztically running through the city of Manehattan to get to her High School. Along the way, she was launched to the side by an unsuspecting chariot and knocked a little filly off her tricycle and into her mother. Seeing it as a faster means of transportation, Rainbow got on the trike and started madly pedaling to get to school. The mother just stared in awe at what had just happened. When Rainbow Dash busted through the front door of the high school and continued pedaling as she created a wave of ponies that she had plowed through. Finally, Rainbow stopped in front of her first period class, Mr. Cool's room. She quietly got off the tricycle and sat down in her usual seat, "Attention class, you will all be having a pep rally starting after second period. Remember to walk out to the field and sit down in the bleachers accordingly and no dilly-dallying!" Mr. Cool stated as he waved his hoof to the class, Pinkie Pie suddenly awoke from her slumber, "DILLY DALLYING! WHO SAYS THAT ANYMORE? OH WAIT! MR COOL DOES!" Pinkie shouted then obnoxiously laughed. Mr. Cool just disregarded this as usual, "Also, today we will have two new students joining us today, please welcome Applejack..." Mr. Cool presented as an orange mare wearing a stetson entered the class, "and Twilight Sparkle..." Mr. Cool added on as a lavender unicorn came flying into the classroom the same way Pinkie usually did, "AKSHUALY ITS TWIDOS 6.90 WEETART!" Twilight yelled to Mr. Cool as a random boot hit him in the face, "OH LOOK! ANOTHER EGGHEAD IN THE CLASS! LOOKS LIKE YOUR NOT ALONE RAINBOW DASH! HA!" Pinkie Pie annoyingly yelled to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow just turned around to face Pinkie, "You do realize there's a cannon filled with radioactive sewage that's about to fire in your face? WAH!" Rainbow yelled in panic as said item fired at Pinkie, covering her face in radioactive goop. Pinkie just laughed as a response, "GOOD ONE RAINBOW DASH!" Pinkie yelled to her cyan mate. Rainbow Dash just turned back around to the front of the room, "Wow, I was only in the class for 15 seconds and something gay happened!" Applejack yelled to the pair, "YOU'RE GAY!" Pinkie yelled back to Applejack, who was now now sitting in her seat, "BANANAS!" Applejack randomly shouted to the class, "Hey girls, whoever wants to make some bad dubstep behind the bleachers with me raise your hoof!" Vinyl Scratch yelled out. Nopony raised their hoof at Vinyl's request, "HAY GURLSH! MY NAMES TWIDOS 6.90 AND I'M MAJOR LEETHAXOR!" Twidos, now sitting in her seat next to Rainbow Dash shouted out, "I leethaxed your mom!" Applejack responded, "NU! MY MUM HASH A MAGIC PWOOF OS!" Twidos yelled back, "If you understood what the term "leet" meant, then it's obvious, I PASSED THE BARRIER!" Applejack stated, "YOU KNOW WHAT!? I'M GONNA LEETHAX YOU!" Twidos shouted. A flare from her horn ignited and Applejack was flung out of the room in an explosion, "Alright, now for your warm up, how do you say hoof in Italian?" Mr. Cool asked to class, seemingly oblivious to what had just happened. He then looked towards Rainbow Dash, who was now sleeping on her desk, "Rainbow Dash, do you know this one?" Mr. Cool asked, "No... but I'll tell you what you DON'T KNOW!" Rainbow yelled with her voice muffled in the desk, "SHE'S A LESBIAN!" Pinkie yelled to the teacher, "You're a lesbian!" Rainbow yelled through the desk, "You're both lesbians!" Applejack butted into the mix, "Oh, ok, sorry" Pinkie said in a normal voice, then obnoxiously laughed once again, "Oh yeah, hoof is pierde!" Rainbow said to Mr. Cool, answering his question, "WRONG! THAT MEANS FOOT!" Pinkie yelled up to Rainbow as a boot nailed her in the back of the head, "You're a foot" Rainbow yelled through the desk, "YOU'RE MOM'S A FOOT!" Pinkie yelled again, but the bell rang right after, putting an end to the madness of first period. -- Rainbow made her casual entrance as Mr. Higglesworth stood in the doorway, but Pinkie of course knocked him off his feet as she entered. Once everyone entered the classroom, "Woah! These fagolas again!?" Mr. Higglesworth yelled then jumped out the window of the room in panic. Rainbow Dash and the other students stared in confusion, but Pinkie stared with a stupid smile on her face. Mr. Higgs, then emerged from behind the podium, "Woah! Just kidding! Alright! At the end of the period today we'll head down to that gay Pep rally crap, so don't make a scene!" Mr. Higgs exclaimed to the class, "Your a scene!" A voice from the doorway responded. Mr. Higglesworth turned and saw an orange mare known as Applejack standing in the doorway. Mr. Higgs laughed weirdly at this sight, "A new fagola to make fun of! From now on until you die a lonely death I'm going to call you fagola..." Mr. Higglesworth said to Applejack, "Actually, the name's Applejack" Applejack corrected, "HI APPLEJACK, MORE LIKE ALCOHOL!" Pinkie yelled while madly laughing until a boot hit her in the head, "Congratulations, anyway, I have your grades for those fag quizzes the other day! Rainbow Dash, F!" Mr. Higgs yelled as Rainbow got hit in the face with a clipboard, "Pinkie Pie, F! Big Mac, F! Octavia, F! Fluttershy, F! and Fagola, F!" Mr. Higglesworth called out to said ponies as they each got a clipboard thrown at their face, "I didn't even take it though!" Applejack said back while she was still on the ground, "That's why you failed!" Mr. Higgs replied as he laughed, "My Celestia, transferring to this school was a big mistake!" Applejack responded, "Hey, everyone makes mistakes fagola, like you know, how your redneck parents made you? Big mistake!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled back as a shopping cart was thrown at the already thrown down pony, "Hey teacher, can I go to the bathroom?" Pinkie asked in her normal voice, "The opposite of yes!" Mr. Higgs replied as another clipboard collided with her face. At the end of Mr. Higgs's chaos train, the principle came upon the loudspeaker, "Attention, all students and teachers must report to the bleachers at this moment. Attention, this is your principle, attention, I am still your principle, attention, attention, attention, thanks, that's all" The principle said over the intercom, "You heard your unicornfag principle, get going!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled to the class. -- Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie moved quickly through the halls to get out back to the field, eventually picking up Twidos and Applejack along the way. Eventually, the group was outside on the field, "HEY GIRLS, YOU WANNA JUST SKIP THE GAY PEP RALLY?" Pinkie asked to the group of friends. Various statements of agreement sounded. Just then, Miss Pony wheeled over in her office chair, keyboard in her lap, "I hope you girls don't plan on skipping this week's pep rally, because Mr. Higglesworth will be guarding the exit" her text to speech translator said, "H-hold on one second" Pinkie said, then proceeded to fling Miss Pony away and into a football post, "KAY GIRLS THE COAST IS CLEAR, LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Pinkie exclaimed loudly to the group, "Where do poor excuses for fillies think you're going?" a voice said. The 4 of them turned to see it was Shining Armor, their PE Coach, "WER JUST GONNA SKIP SHEH PEP RALLY" Twidos said annoyingly, "SHUT UP TWIDOS! YOU RUINED THE SUPRISE!" Pinkie yelled out, "There is no room for suprise her, sister sit down, DOWN!" Shining yelled to the group, and so they sat down in the bleachers casually. Later, there were only 3 ponies of the group sitting, watching the pep rally, "Hey girls, did you see where Pinkie went?" Rainbow Dash asked the group, "If she's escaping and leaving us here, then who wants to knock some shots with the partyers at the back of the school?" Applejack asked. All three ponies raised their hoof until a familiar voice sounded from below, "HEY FAGOLAS, DOWN HERE!" The voice yelled out. The trio looked over the edge of the bleachers to see Pinkie Pie near the corner of the bleachers, "I FOUND A SECRET PATH THAT CAN LEAD US OUTSIDE!" Pinkie yelled upward again. The trio hopped down and all 4 of them quickly moved through the passage out of the school. Eventually, the escapees found themselves in an area that looked like an industrial park outside of Manehattan. As the group got closer to the exit through a fence, the form of Mr. Higglesworth jumped out of the bushes bearing an automatic weapon, "Hey! Who's restricted area here? Go back or I'll be forced to rape your faces that are made of poop!" Mr. Higglesworth loudly stated while pointing his gun at the 4 ponies and laughing maniacally, "WELL, ANY BRILLIANT IDEAS ANYPONY?" Pinkie loudly asked, "I think I have a sexy one" Applejack stated then casually walked out onto the nearby road, "Seeya girls!" Applejack said as her goodbye and started comically running out of the area, "Oh darn, I'm not allowed of school property! Celestia-damned earth pony!" Mr. Higgs yelled out as he opened fire at the dashing pony, but the bullets somehow missed, "HEY GURLSH, LET ME SHAVE OUR STUPID ASSES" Twidos said to Rainbow and Pinkie, then ignited her horn and began to float through the air, going through every object in the area, "WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE SCREWED, RAINBOW DASH!" Pinkie yelled out after Twidos's escape, "Hold your fagola mouths, let me ask the principle if I can order an elite army, and if I'm allowed off school property!" Mr. Higgs said hysterically as he took out a letter and scribbled "EL33T ARMEE AND OF SKOOL PROP" on the note in horrible handwriting. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were making a mad dash as Mr. Higglesworth was distracted. A few seconds later, a letter came back to the psychotic teacher with nothing more than "Yes" written on it. As the two ponies were quickly escaping, a bunch of black chariots containing Equestrian soldiers came around the corner and surrounded the duo. Mr. Higglesworth exited one of the chariots, "Turn around fagolas, this is your last stand!" Mr. Higgs said with his weapon pointed, and soldiers slowly closing in, "AS I WAS SAYING, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE SCREWED RAINBOW DASH!" Pinkie yelled again as more chariots approached. Rainbow then slyly began to walk towards a chariot lacking a pony to pull it, "She's walking! F! SHOOT HER!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled out as he opened fire on Rainbow Dash, the bullets somehow missing. Finally, once the psycho had to reload, Rainbow Dash quickly restrained herself in the appropriate spot and began to pull the chariot. She somehow got Pinkie in the chariot just by running over her, but Rainbow still made quick work of fleeing the scene. Soon coming to Applejack and Twidos being pinned to a wall by a couple soldiers, Rainbow also got them in the vehicle by ramming into them. As Rainbow continued to pull at a high speed, "WOAH! WHERE'D YOU GET THE COOL FAGOLA MOVES!" Pinkie yelled from inside the chariot. Rainbow Dash just ignored her and kept galloping, using her wings to move faster, "Hey Rainbow Dash, did you ever get your puller's license?" Applejack asked to the speeding pony, "Nope" Rainbow said succinctly. After getting to the front area of the industrial park and heading towards the road that led to everyone's home, one of the chariot's wheels got caught in a pothole, causing it to stop abruptly, "Hey guys, why'd this thing stop?" Rainbow asked, panting because of her hard running, "HMM, THE LEVER IS POINTING TO THE EMPTY CIRCLE, WHICH MEANS SHE WON'T GO UNTIL SOMEONE BANGS HER!" Pinkie obnoxiously said. Rainbow just facehooved at Pinkie's stupidity, "WE HIT A PAWTHOLE WEETARTS" Twidos quickly said. All of a sudden, Mr. Higglesworth and his army appeared around the hijacked chariot, "Alright fagolas, get out or else!" Mr. Higgs yelled to the group, "OR ELSE WHAT?" Pinkie yelled back, "Or else I'll kill you!" Mr. Higglesworth said and started laughing psychotically, "OH WOW, SHTUPID ME, I FORGOT TO NOCLIP USH OUT OF HERE" Twidos exclaimed, ignited her horn, and then the chariot flew upwards into the sky without a sound with everypony still in it. -- All four ponies appeared in front of Rainbow Dash's small house, standing around like nothing had happened, "EGGHEAD POWER!" Pinkie screamed out and started laughing, "Thanks for the ride Rainbow Dash! I'll see you at school tomorrow" Applejack said to Rainbow before leaving, "THANKSH FOR SAVING OUR ASH" Twidos yelled out then noclipped away, "YOU'RE GAY! Just kidding, your cool now" Pinkie said to Rainbow Dash, who smirked a little at the statement, "Oh, one more thing" Pinkie added and then a random boot hit Rainbow Dash, "BYEEEEEEEE!" Pinkie yelled out then began to inflate her tale to float into the sky. With only Rainbow Dash left, she got up and went back into her small house, to find her alarm clock still beeping. Rainbow just sighed in agony and kept going with her daily life. Field TripsRainbow Dash was getting the well deserved sleep she needed after escaping near-death and her psychotic algebra teacher, Mr. Higglesworth. Once again, her annoying alarm clock sounded, but Rainbow attempted to sleep through it. After about five beeps, Rainbow finally woke up and tossed her pillow at the alarm clock, knocking it off her nightstand and breaking it. As with every other morning, Rainbow bolted out her front door and started spaztically running to school. However, she accidentally took a wrong turn and ended up on a flying passenger chariot. Kicking the original flier off, Rainbow restrained herself in and very poorly flew the chariot until the restraints broke and sent her tumbling towards the ground. In Mr. Cool's homeroom, everypony was doing their usual activities. Twidos 6.90 was trying recently acquired spells on herself, Pinkie Pie was sleeping on her desk, and Mr. Cool was just being his plain old self. Coincidentally, Rainbow Dash came smashing through the roof and landed in her seat, right next to Twidos, "Oh, is Rainbow Dash late again-" Mr. Cool was saying before Pinkie sprung to life, "WHAT'S THAT MR. COOL? YOU THINK I'M FAT!?" Pinkie yelled out, "No Pinkie, don't assume-" Mr. Cool tried to say but was cut off once again, "THAT WASN'T VERY NICE! SAY YOUR SORRY!" Pinkie shouted, "SAY IT!" Pinkie added on after a few moments of silence, "Anyway, there's a field trip today during 3rd period-" Mr. Cool announced, "YES! NOW WE WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH MISS PONY FOR FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT!" Pinkie obnoxiously stated, "Just make sure you girls don't-" Mr. Cool stated before being cut off yet again, "DILLY DALLY! I KNOW MR COOL, I READ MINDS, LIKE RAINBOW DASH IS THINKING SHE WANTS TO BUCK ME TO THE MOON!" Pinkie shouted in Rainbow Dash's ear before Rainbow reared up on her desk and powerfully kicked Pinkie out of the room with her hind legs. Soon, Rainbow just sat back down in her chair, "Alright, now let's go back to what we were talking about last week, how do you say hoof in Italian?" Mr. Cool asked, "Come on, I just answered that in the last chapter" Rainbow said back to the teacher, "RAINBOW DASH! YOU'RE A LESBIAN, SHUT YOUR FACE!" Pinkie yelled to the cyan mare. Just then, Rainbow's entire face swirled around and vanished so her head had nothing but a blank face. Mr. Cool just stared at Twidos who was still experimenting with her body with magic, "Twidos, stop trying to give yourself new body parts while I'm speaking" Mr. Cool said to the concentrated unicorn, "...Twidos" Mr. Cool said to the lavender unicorn, who now had her horn in an intense flare. Finally, all of the things Twidos had been working with vanished, and Applejack was flung out of the window with an explosion again, "SORWY I JUST HAD TO GET RID OF MY ARTIFICIAL WINGSH!" Twidos explained, "ARTIFICIAL PARTS ARE FOR PONIES WHO FAIL AT LIFE!" Pinkie yelled in Twidos's ear, "WELL ATLEASHED THEIR NOT FOR GAY AND SHTUPID PONIES LIKE YOU!" Twidos yelled back, "Oh OK" Pinkie said in her normal voice before sitting back in her seat, "Back to Italian class, now how do you-" Mr. Cool tried to say but Pinkie started laughing extremely loudly again, "Now how do you say hoof?" Mr. Cool asked, getting a little impatient, "Vodka?" Vinyl Scratch answered from the back of the room, "No Vinyl, vodka is not the answer" Mr. Cool replied, "OH! PICK ME! MEMEMEME!" Pinkie shouted to the teacher, "Yes Pinkie" Mr. Cool said back, "What's the question? OH YEAH! HOOF!" Pinkie obnoxiously answered, "The Italian version-" "HOOF!? WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF!?" "Pinkie, hoof does not translate to hoof" "YOU'RE A HOOF!" Pinkie annoyingly yelled then threw a random boot at Mr. Cool's face, "Hey girls, does anyone know if Applejack is here today?" Rainbow Dash asked, "I SAW HER GET BLOWN UP BY TWIDOS, OF COURSE SHE'S DEAD!" Pinkie loudly responded. Then, just at that moment, Applejack walked in through the doorway, burn marks all over her body, holding a half eaten piece of apple pie, "Sorry everybody, had to have a snack before school!" Applejack stated to the class, "Pie at 8 o' clock in the morning, WHAT ARE YOU!?" Rainbow Dash yelled in response, "SEE!? I TOLD YOU TWIDOS BLEW HIM UP, THAT'S HER CLUE!" Pinkie yelled out. Rainbow Dash just turned to face her "friend", "...Was it not obvious?" Rainbow Dash asked, "SHUT YOUR FACE!" Pinkie yelled out and Rainbow's face did the same swirling motion as the bell rang and dismissed the class. -- Entering Mr. Higglesworth's room as usual, Rainbow sat down in her seat, and noticed that instead of Mr. Higgs, there was Miss Pony sitting in her office chair with her keyboard at the front of the room. When Pinkie flew in, she turned around abruptly to face Miss Pony, "WRONG ROOM, MISS PONY! THE RETARD'S CONVENTION'S DOWN THE OTHER WAY!" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled to the mute mare, "Mr. Higglesworth is absent today, so I will be substituting your math class for today, now sit down" The familiar text-to-speech voice replied. As Pinkie sat down, she noticed a new pony in the class, gnawing on what looked like a plastic doll, "MY NAME'S... DERPY" The grey pony said quickly, "Wait until I take the attendance please" Miss Pony said as Derpy grabbed one of the miscellaneous items on the floor and began chewing on it. Miss Pony attempted to read Mr. Higglesworth's poor handwriting on the attendance sheet, "Derpy" The translator called out, "MY NAME'S... DERPY, DERPY J. HOOVES" Derpy said again, "Applejack" Miss Pony called out, "That's my name! Don't wear it out miss P!" the orange mare responded, "Rainbow Dash" The program continued, "Whatya talking to me for?" Rainbow stated, lying back in her chair, "Hulk Pussy" Miss Pony read, making Pinkie Pie laugh hysterically, "Sorry. It's just that you say it funny" Pinkie said in her normal voice, "NOW SAY IT! AGAIN FOR A GOLD STAR!" Pinkie yelled out, "Sluttershy" The translator spoke, making the cream pegasus hide behind her mane, "Big Mac, aka Gay harvester" The voice said once again, "HEY! That is uncalled for!" Big Mac yelled out to the teacher, "Octavia" She called out again. Outside, Twidos was passing by, until she caught sight of Miss Pony, which was simply love at first sight, "Can I help you?" The translator said to the lovestriken mare, "SALUTATIONS MISS! CAN WE HAVE MAGICAL SECKSH LATER?" Twidos requested to the teacher, "What is magic?" Miss Pony replied, crushing Twidos's thoughts as she slowly faded into Mr. Higglesworth, who then laughed maniacally, "Just kidding fagolas, beat it kid!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled out as he threw a clipboard at Twidos's face, "I'M GONNA LEETHAX YOU SO HARD! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO EVEN WALK!" Twidos yelled before she left the area, "That's what she said" Mr. Higgs replied as Derpy sprung up and stole the clipboard that hit Twidos. Just then, Applejack raised her hoof, "Whatya want dick stain!" Mr. Higgs yelled, "Have you-" Applejack tried to say before getting cut off, "NO! Now shut your face!" Mr. Higglesworth quickly said back, "OH! Irony! I get it because I said it before, you're supposed to shut your face, Applejack!" Pinkie stated in her normal face. Applejack's face did the same swirling motion as Rainbow Dash's only a lot faster, "Alright, enough shutting faces for once! All of you generic fags of students are all the same, commonly joking, unfunny puns, and most importantly, your big pointy ass horns! Now if you want to learn something I suggest you-" Mr. Higglesworth was cut off by deep, animal-like breathing. He slowly turned around to see a grey mare with crossed eyes and a blonde mane behind him, breathing like an animal. The pony slowly came close to Mr. Higglesworth's ear, "MY NAME'S... DERPY" Derpy said slowly, then slowly walked away, "Hey, we learned something! Her name is Derpy!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed in sarcasm, "See what I mean? You make newfags look like Princess Celestia!" Mr. Higgs yelled out, but then the bell rang and everyone started leaving, "Get out of here you genericfags!" He yelled as they left. -- Rainbow Dash of course sat down casually, but Pinkie Pie happened to notice Miss Pony lying on the ground, presumably unconscious, so she started laughing loudly. Miss Pony sat back up and grabbed a spare keyboard, "I thought we were over this laughing business" the text to speech said, "JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, EH MISS P? HA! P! P AS IN PUSSY!" Pinkie Pie yelled aloud and resumed laughing. Finally, once everypony was in their seats, "Now, does anyone know what the Elements of Harmony are?" the program requested. A pony in the class wearing a long trench coat stood up on his table, "Yes, i suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the mares in the minorities first" the pony responded. Just then, the principle came over the intercom, "Attention, this is your principle, guess what, I'm still your principle" The principle said over the intercom, "YOU SAID THAT IN THE LAST CHAPTER! FAAAAAAAAAIL!" Pinkie Pie yelled in the middle of the announcement, "Everyone must report to your chariots right now. Everyone who is left behind will be knocked out, gutted, and fed to the retarded ponies" The principle finished on the intercom, "Mmm, smells like chicken" The pony in the trench coat stated, "Hey Postal pony, you're not funny, you look like a gay version of Neo who's voice actor fails at being cool" Pinkie said in her normal voice, "Hey, I'm just exercising my second amendment rights here you fucking communist!" The Postal Pony said back, "WATCH THE LANGUAGE, MISTER!" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled, "Let's all have a good day except the douche bag wearing a trench coat" The principle randomly said over the intercom, "Fuck me, I better get going" The postal pony said before whipping off his trench coat, revealing his wings and flying out through the window, "LANGUAGE!" Pinkie yelled through the window that was now shattered, "You heard you're unicornfag principle, now get going" The translator said once again, and all the students got up and headed down to the chariot loop. -- "SO YEAH, HOW DID MISS PONY COME BACK TO LIFE?" Pinkie yelled out to the line of ponies waiting to enter their passenger chariot, "Sketch!" A dark hued stallion standing in front of the chariot yelled out into the crowd with a gangster-like voice, "SKETCH? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I'M CRUDELY DRAWN!?" Pinkie exclaimed, "Yo this kid doesn't even know what a sketch is! What a slicer!" The dark hued stallion said again, "We're so cool!" Another pony at the dark hued one's side yelled out, "OH NO! YOU'RE CALLING ME A SLICER! I SLICE THINGS!? SO OFFENSIVE!" Pinkie loudly stated, "QUIT PISSING AROUND AND GET IN HERE!" One of the pullers yelled to the ponies outside. All of the ponies did said action and the chariot was moving. On a remote country road, the passenger chariot being manned by 4 ponies was moving down the road at a decent speed. Inside the passenger section, Twidos was sitting next to Derpy who gnawed on her own hoof, "SO HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO MAKE YOURSHELF JISH RAINBOWS?" Twidos asked, "MY NAME'S DERPY DAMMIT!" The grey mare scolded to the unicorn. Soon, the chariot full of ponies reached its destination, the Equestria History Museum. -- Inside, all 5 ponies of the group of friends and several other ponies were standing in front of Miss Pony, "Alright everyone, I will be your guide for the day" Miss Pony said to the group, "TAKE USH TO THE CANTERLOT ROOM, ITSH MY FAVORITE PLACE" Twidos yelled to Miss Pony, "Whoever likes Canterlot is a snotty, rich douche!" Applejack stated. Later in the tour, the group was at the exhibit about the origins of Manehattan, "THIS PLACE SUCKS BIG PUSSY! I'M LEAVING! KAY THANKS BYE!" Pinkie yelled then made a mad dash for the exit, "Stop it Pinkie, get back here right now" The text to speech said, "Ugh, that fagola" Applejack said to herself, "NO, SHUT UP APPLEJACK!" Pinkie yelled back as she threw a boot at Applejack, "EVERYPONY EXCEPT APPLEJACK, FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!" Pinkie shouted to the group as the rest of the gang caught up. Just as they were about to charge through the exit, Miss Pony stopped them in their tracks, "Stop where you are, you are to leave when I tell you to, turn around and follow me" Miss Pony commanded throught the program, "H-hold on one sec" Pinkie said in her normal voice then flung Miss Pony toward the far wall, "KAY GIRLS, LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Pinkie yelled then commanded everyone to leave the museum. Applejack however, lagged behind, so Pinkie locked to sliding doors, leaving Applejack inside, "HEY! I SAID EVERYPONY EXCEPT APPLEJACK! YOU'RE STAYING IN THERE WITH MISS PONY LICK HER PUSSY OR SOMETHING!" Pinkie yelled to the prisoner. Just then Applejack produced a piece of Apple Pie, complete with whipped cream, "Open the door I have PIE!" Applejack yelled back, "HOLY TITS, IS THAT APPLE!?" Pinkie yelled, then smashed her hoof through the glass and snatched the pie, laughing crazily, "YOU FELL FOR IT!" Pinkie yelled in triumph, "You know I can just open the door now?" Applejack stated, then did just that and left the building, "SHIT! I FORGOT MY SPELL BOOK!" Twidos yelled in realization. Over at the chariot, one of the pullers was trying to break the voice-activated lock, but since it was set to self-destruct on first wrong guess, the book exploded into tiny pieces. Twidos just stared at the ashes of the book, her eyes wide in disbelief, "MY LIFE... MY CAREER, ITSH, ITSH, ITSH... DESTROYED! NOOOOOOOOO!" Twidos melodramatically yelled, "HA HA! TWIDOS'S LIFE GOT DESTROYED!" Pinkie yelled jokingly, "JUST KIDDING! I MEMORIZED EVERY SHPELL, AND CEWESTIA HAS 9000 COPIESH OF IT" Twidos stated, "MY JOKE... MY PLAN... IT'S, IT'S, IT'S... DESTROYED! NOOOOOOOOO!" Pinkie exclaimed while resting on her hind legs, "Just kidding, I can do this" Pinkie said, then smacked Twidos's chin, laughing hysterically. Twidos immediately started chasing Pinkie out of the area, "I'M GONNA LEETHAX YOU!" Twidos was screaming as she chased her "friend", "What an exciting day this was!" Applejack exclaimed to the group, "Indeed it was" Rainbow Dash agreed, "MY NAME'S DEEEEEEEEERPYYY!" Derpy yelled in excitement. Off in the distance, "TWIDOS IS A PIE!" Pinkie yelled in the distance, "PINKIE'SH GAY!" Twidos yelled back, "Well it looks like this..." Rainbow Dash said as she produced a pair of sunglasses and put them on her head, "...is a cold case" Rainbow finished then put on the most smug look she could muster, "Every single FUCKING JOKE RAINBOW DASH! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? GOD!" Derpy yelled at Rainbow's face then left the scene. Rainbow Dash just shrugged and headed in the general direction of her house. MondaysIt's early Monday morning, and Rainbow Dash is of course snoozing as usual after the past few weeks. From surviving her psychotic algebra teacher and his elite army, to escaping the Equestrian History Museum, her school year had been hectic so far. Of course, this peaceful slumber couldn't last forever, because the ever-so annoying beep of her alarm clock sounded and mad Rainbow Dash smash it with her hoof out of instinct. Sitting up in her bed, Rainbow hung her head, "Mondays..." Rainbow whispered to herself. Out of the corner of her eye, Rainbow saw what looked like a blanket of snow covering her lawn and jumped with joy. Slamming open her front door, she saw that the snow was only covering her driveway, as if intentionally put there, so she reluctantly began to run in a spastic manner. Through the streets of Manehattan she ran, causing unsuspecting chariots to collide as she made her way to Manehattan High School. Finally entering the halls, Rainbow continued to dash through the halls, smashing into ponies and their items. Rainbow eventually got to her first period class, which she had to bust down the door to get in homeroom, "Rainbow Dash, I'm surprised to see you didn't cause any school property destruction on your way here" Rainbow's Italian teacher, Mr. Cool complimented as Rainbow sat down, "That's because I'm-" Rainbow tried to say before getting cut off by Pinkie Pie, who was sitting at the desk behind Rainbow, "GAY!" Pinkie butted in, "You know what Pinkie? You smell!" Rainbow jeered to the pink pony, "LIKE GROUND BEEF?" Pinkie replied, "No, like, umm..." Rainbow Dash said, trying to find the right words, "STRAWBERRIES!" Applejack randomly yelled from the other side of the room. In the cafeteria, however, Twilight Sparkle, or Twidos 6.90 is reading a long scroll she had recently acquired, "THIS CHAPTER SHUCKS MY SHIT! ITSH NOT EVEN FUNNY AND I'D RATHER SHWITCH THE PLACE OF MY HEAD AND PUSSY! SEEYA GURLSH!" Twidos yelled, then rolled up the scroll, quickly looked around, then dashed off to her first period class. Back in Mr. Cool's room, "Today is the start of the second marking period and you know what that means err... Vinyl Scratch?" Mr. Cool asked said pony, "Does that mean I get to eat a pig?" Vinyl Scratch asked in response, "No Vinyl Scratch, it doesn't mean you get to eat a pig" Mr. Cool replied, "Aww crap, back to the vodka!" Vinyl stated as Twidos busted in the door and started toward her seat, "Twidos, may I hear your ridiculous excuse?" Mr. Cool asked the lavender unicorn, "OH! NOW THATSHOO MENTION IT, I JUSHT RECALL HAXING DIS SPASHE AND TIME WAVE AND RECREATING DISHCORDSH CHAOSH FROM THE 1300S! IT WASH SHIMPLE I JUSHT HAD TO GET TO THE DIRECTORY" Twidos explained, "WOW! THAT SOUNDS GAYER THAN PENIS!" Pinkie yelled up to the egghead, "PENISH ISHN'T GAY YOU" Twidos jeered back, "Come on, focus class, it's been one marking period and you're all flunking!" Mr. Cool boringly said to the class, "SHUT UP MISTER COOL! WHO ASKED YOU?" Pinkie shouted to the front of the room, "Pinkie Pie you failed the first marking period" Mr. Cool told Pinkie, who laughed hysterically. Applejack then banged her hoof on the table, as if it was a mallet, "LOLLIPOPS!" Applejack randomly yelled, "I'M HAVING MAGICAL SHECKSH WITH TRIKSHIE RIGHT NOW!" Twidos added on. Just then, the bell rang and everypony was on their way to their next class, -- Everypony was sitting as usual in Mr. Higglesworth's class as Mr. Higgs himself simply kept his perched towards the ceiling and his eyes on the students, "My genitals itch!" Mr. Higgs finally proclaimed, then began scratching his private area with his hind leg, "Reminds me of my buddy Slim!" Applejack stated, "Slim? As in like Slim Jim?" Rainbow Dash asked, "RAINBOW DASH! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE JOKES ANYMORE!" Pinkie yelled at the cyan mare, "And you're not allowed to be gay! F!" Mr. Higglesworth shouted, then threw the ever-so-famous clipboard at Pinkie Pie's head, "Come on Mr. Higgs, another F?" Pinkie asked in her normal voice, "Crabs give me stiffies!" Octavia randomly stated, "JUST LIKE POTATOES!" Derpy added on, "Ooh! Tough mare over here! Thinks the shit don't stink!" Mr. Higgs yelled back at Octavia, "It actually does kind of, oh, excuse me, how does this sound?" Octavia asked before randomly producing a microphone and singing heinously into it, "Umm, sorry, didn't quite catch that" Mr. Higgs said, making Octavia this time start terribly playing the cello like a guitar, "Are you, uhh, making a declarative statement? Or is it something-" Mr. Higgs tried to explain before being interrupted again, "GAY!" Pinkie butted in, "LIKE YOU!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled back, "How exactly am I gay?" Pinkie questioned normally, "Because you overuse the word every five seconds!" Mr. Higgs stated, "Gay?" Pinkie said after exactly five seconds, "Dammit, where's that Slim?" Applejack impatiently said looking at the clock, "The hell's crab whore? Some kind of bad porno?" Mr. Higgs questioned to Octavia, "It's when you get really down low, and you strum a guitar at vagina level, like this" Octavia explained, producing a cello again and playing it horridly, "WHAT IF YOUR PUSSY'S ON YOUR FACE?" Pinkie rudely questioned, "Dick counts to" Octavia said, "MY NAME RHYMES WITH DICK!" Derpy yelled from her usual spot, "Excuse me for a second" Mr. Higglesworth said before going up and bucking Octavia in the face, causing her to fall to the ground in pain, "All you fagolas have been doing this year is acting like immature little BRATS, who make dangerously unfunny puns and jokes that not only do I find not funny, but they always have relate to something being gay or the female reproductive organ! PINKIE!" Mr. Higglesworth explained, "Yeah" Pinkie casually said then put her head down again, "So you know what that means you little shits!?" Mr. Higgs asked, "Rico crapcore to some Attack Attack?" Octavia asked, "Yeah! Well Attack Attack THIS!" Mr. Higgs yelled as he threw his stool at Octavia, "DOUBLE F!" Mr. Higgs shouted as he threw another item, "Fs are so overused! So why not splice it up with a little JIZZ!" Applejack declared, "I'LL SPLICE UP YOUR FACE WITH AN F!" Mr. Higgs shouted as he threw another stool at Applejack, "Okay, okay, enough with the Fs already, like, take your medication or something" Octavia told Mr. Higglesworth, who turned to face her, looking not-too-happy, "Speaking of medication!" Mr. HIgglesworth explained before throwing some cocaine on his worktable and happily snorted it up, "I KNEW IT!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed upon seeing this, "I sold it, for 10 BANANAS!" Derpy yelled out, "BANANAS!" Applejack happily proclaimed, "NOO!" Derpy yelled back, "Alright you fagolas, before we get anywhere we're going take NOTES!" Mr. Higgs shouted, slamming a projector on his table, "OH! HA! FOR A SECOND THERE I THOUGHT YOU SAID NOSE! I MEAN, WHO WOULD TAKE SOMEONE'S NOSE, THAT'S KIND OF GAY!" Pinkie yelled obnoxiously as the class broke into conversation once more, "JESUS *Beep*ING CHRIST!" Mr. Higgs yelled while banging his head on the table, "It's not nice to use words like that!" Rainbow Dash spoke out, "Alright, back to the notes, or should I say NOOOOOSE!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled, but just as he was about to start the film, the bell rang, and everypony left the room. -- "Good afternoon everyone, please sit in your assigned seats" Miss Pony spoke through the text to speech translator to the class. Rainbow Dash soon came right up to the teacher, "Wait wait wait, woah woah woah, I though you said we could choose our own seats, on the first day!" Rainbow Dash explained to the teacher, "Times have changed Rainbow Dash, please sit down" Miss Pony said again, "HO HO! YOU JUST GOT TOLD, RAINBOW CRASH!" Pinkie Pie yelled up to the cyan mare, "Now, turn to page 96 in your textbook" Miss Pony spoke aloud as Rainbow Dash was busy doodling something on a piece of paper, "SIXTY NINE!" Pinkie exclaimed, "Today we are going to talk about-" Miss Pony attempted to say, "BOOORING! RAINBOW DASH, WAKE ME UP WHEN MISS HOENY SAYS SOMETHING COOL!" Pinkie yelled before letting herself fall asleep on her desk, "Holy shit, look!" Rainbow Dash yelled, getting Pinkie Pie's attention, "Today we are going to learn the fundamentals of..." Miss Pony explained, "RAINBOW DASH! YOU LIED TO ME! WHY!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyy!?" Pinkie yelled as Miss Pony continued to talk, "H-hold on one sec" Pinkie stated normally, then threw Miss Pony out of the room as she usually did, now taking over the projector, "WHO WANTS TO SEE TOM AND JERRY FALL OFF A CLIFF?" Pinkie asked loudly to the class. Regardless of opinion, Pinkie put the tape in and began to play the tape, as the tape went on, Rainbow grimaced at the sight of what was playing, "That's not nice..." Rainbow said aloud, "GO PUSSY SUCK A BATH!" Pinkie yelled back as a boot hit Rainbow's head. Of course, the bell rang in the middle of the tape, so the entire class left the room. -- In the hallways, the group of 5 friends, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Derpy Hooves, Twidos, and Applejack were regrouped in the halls, "HEY GIRLS, LET'S SKIP GYM CLASS AND GO EAT SOME LUNCH!" Pinkie yelled to the group. In the cafeteria, all of the girls had gotten their food and were sitting at an empty lunch table. Rainbow Dash soon began sucking back a bottle of coke in a short series of gulps, "HEY APPLEJACK! DO YOU LIKE FISH STICKS?" Pinkie questioned loudly, "NOO!" Applejack yelled in fright of the word, "Oh, OK, HEY TWIDOS, YOU LIKE FISH STICKS?" Pinkie loudly asked, "Mm, kind of" Twidos replied, "YOU LIKE TO PUT FISH STICKS... IN YOUR MOUTH!?" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled, "I PUT THEM UNDER MY HOOFNAILSH TO KILL WORMSH" Twidos responded. Just then, their PE coach, Shining Armor appeared at the table, "What are you doing here!? You're supposed to be in the gymnasium!" Shining yelled to the group, "WHATEVER," Pinkie Pie yelled back, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? PHYSICAL EDUCATION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE DAY!" Shining exclaimed, "ALL OF YOU, FAILED AGAIN!" Shining scolded at the end, "Wait a minute, if we're supposed to be in your class, why aren't you in the gym?" Rainbow Dash asked, making Shining Armor's head bobble, "I DON'T THINK HE CAN COMPUTE LOGIC RAINBOW DASH, HE'S MALFUNCTIONING, RUN!" Pinkie yelled as all five of them got up and started running out of the school. The group had just made it out of the building before a spectacular explosion erupted, throwing them all against the front gate. Pinkie got back on her hooves and laughed like crazy, "DO IT AGAIN I WASN'T LOOKING!" Derpy yelled out, "At least we can enjoy Hearth's Warming Eve without any homework!" Rainbow Dash said to the gang, "WE CAN'T HAVE JUSHT A BREAK, SHCOOLS GONE FOREVER! THAT MEANSH I CAN PULL ALL NIGHTERSH AGAIN! SHHHCORE!" Twidos cheered, swinging her front hooves up, "Attention, I'm still alive! So that means as of today you are going back to school!" The principle said over the outside intercoms, laughing after the statement, "OH YEAH? HOW COME WE ALWAYS INTERRUPTED MISTER GAY AND MISTER SHITTLESWORTH, WHEN THEY WERE ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE SECOND MARKING PERIOD!" Pinkie obnoxiously said, "And you start the second marking period as a new year!" The principle excitedly said again, "REALLY? THREE DAYS OF SOPHOMORE YEAR? THAT'S KIND OF... GAY!" Pinkie annoyingly stated, "THAT SHUCKS DICK! ANYWAY, I HAVE SHUM LEETHAXING TO FINISH! SEEYA GURLSH!" Twidos said as her farewell, then ignited her horn to make herself float through the air and objects effortlessly, "I'm going to sleep over a Slim's house! Later fellas!" Applejack said to her friends then comically ran out of the area, "I HAVE TO GO RUIN MORE FANFICS... HELLO!" Derpy said, then vanished with a slight click, leaving Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie alone "Oh, OK, another happy ending," Pinkie said normally, "Somewhat" Rainbow Dash replied, "You wanna go back to Ponyville and prank Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked in a normal voice again, "Yeah " Rainbow responded, "And you know, you're actually kind of cool for once!" Rainbow proudly said to the bubbly pink pony, "JUST KIDDING! PRANKING'S FOR LOSERS! HAVE A SHITTY HEARTH'S WARMING EVE! BYEEEEE!" Pinkie Pie yelled back, then inflated her tail to make herself float into the sky as a boot hit Rainbow Dash's head yet again. From the ground, Rainbow could see the roads that would take her back to home and Ponyville, so she got up and began to run in her usual spastic manner. As Rainbow ran off to her house, she felt like she would go to Ponyville after this, so she grabbed her luggage that she brought for temporary high school living and began to fly off towards Ponyville.
PilotRainbow Dash lay calmly in her bed as the sun slowly peaked above the horizon. This bed however, was not her usual cloud-home bed, but the bed a simple two-bedroom house close to Manehattan. After a few more seconds, an obnoxious beep sounded from Rainbow's alarm clock which sat on her nightstand. Rainbow Dash tried to shrug it off, but eventually resorted to smashing it with her hoof, making the annoying sound stop. Rainbow slowly sat up on the edge of her bed and let herself wake up, "Ugh, first day of school..." Rainbow Dash mumbled to herself as she breathed slowly and heavily. Eventually, Rainbow got up and made herself some coffee. Soon, she grabbed her ready coffee and went to sit down on her sofa and sipped it slowly. In the middle of her morning haze, Rainbow had remembered something: she had acquired a letter before she left Ponyville saying that all students enrolled in Manehattan High School had to be in their homeroom no later than 8 o' clock. Shocked by this memory, Rainbow quickly looked up at her clock, which read 7:59, "Fuck" Rainbow quietly said to herself, then dropped her coffee mug on the ground and bolted out the front door of her house, spaztically running.. Running through the streets of Manehattan and avoiding moving chariots, Rainbow Dash finally made her way to Manehattan High School. She busted through the front doors and smashed through ponies that were still in the hallway. Eventually getting up to her homeroom, Rainbow slowly sat down at a desk in the front of the room. The teacher at the podium however, was speaking what sounded like random gibberish, but Rainbow could make out, "Sit down and all that shit" the teacher said to his 1st period class. Rainbow was exhausted from having to sprint all the way to school, so she let her head fall onto the desk and continued sleeping, "My name is Mr. Cool and I'll be your Italian teacher for this year" The teacher identified in a very dull voice. Just then, a pink pony with a bubbly mane sprung to life from her slumber, "MR. COOL! THAT'S SUCH A COOL NAME! I WISH MY LAST NAME WAS COOL!" This pony annoyingly yelled, obnoxiously laughing after saying that. Mr. Cool just disregarded this and kept talking, "Now, to take attendance, Lyra..." A toothpaste colored unicorn on the far side of the room raised her hoof, "Bon bon..." Mr. Cool said again, and a tan colored Earth Pony sitting in front of Lyra raised her hoof, "Rainbow Dash..." Mr. Cool called to the sleeping pegasus, "Rainbow Dash..." Mr. Cool said again, "HEY FAGOLA HE CALLED YOUR NAME!" The obnoxious pink pony yelled, making Rainbow Dash awake, "Wha..." Rainbow said in confusion, "Oh! Are you Rainbow Dash?" Mr. Cool sarcastically asked. Just as Rainbow was about to say something, "HER REAL NAME'S GAY SLOWPOKE BUT WE CALL HER RAINBOW DASH BECAUSE WE'RE COOL!" The pink pony butted in, laughing annoyingly after, "Yeah, whatever" Mr. Cool boringly said, "Pinkie Pie..." Mr. Cool added on, "PINKIE PIE'S NOT HERE, PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP, BEEEEEEEeeeeEEeeEEeeeeeeeeeeep" Pinkie Pie yelled in response, letting her head hit the desk again, "That's Pinkie" Rainbow said to Mr. Cool, motioning her hoof back to the sleeping pony, "Okay class, that's the attendance for this year-" Mr. Cool was saying before being interrupted by a white mare with a frizzy blue mane in the back of the room, "Woah, did you have too many bottles of vodka? You forgot me DUDE!" this pony yelled up to the teacher, "Oh, ok, Vinyl Scratch..." Mr. Cool quietly said back. Just then, Pinkie started yelling random Italian gibberish before the bell sounded, making everyone pile out the door of the classroom. Pinkie however, spaztically flew out of the room like someone throwing a ragdoll with a lot of force. -- At both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie's 2nd period class, a fairly casual looking pony stood in the doorway of a classroom. Rainbow Dash simply walked in and took her seat. Pinkie Pie, however, flew in at a very high speed, knocking the presumed teacher off his hooves. As the rest of the class came into the room, the teacher randomly appeared behind the podium at the front of the room, "Sit your fat asses down you packs of huge vibrators!" The teacher yelled out uncaringly, "Look at you little shits, with your Rainbow manes, your faggy ass cutie marks, and your oversized wings, and your pointy ass horns, and your sexy coltfriends, and your hot sport chariots, and your stupid sense of humor, you fagolas make me sick. Literally, SICK! Hold on, let me call the doctor" The teacher said in a strange voice. Rainbow Dash just stared in confusion at what the teacher had just said to the class. Pinkie however, annoyingly laughed at the statement, "THIS COLT'S MY KIND OF FUNNY!" Pinkie loudly stated, "Well you know what? Your face is funny!" The teacher exclaimed while throwing a boot at Pinkie's face, though she didn't seem affected by it, she now had a blank face, "Hey, that's not nice" Pinkie said in a normal voice for once, "Your mom was not very nice either!" The teacher shouted back, Pinkie still had a blank expression. Then, a cream colored pegasus in the back of the room shyly raised her hoof, "What the hell do you want!?" The teacher shouted to the back of the room, "I... um... um-" The pegasus quietly said, but a random boot came out of nowhere and hit her in the face, "That's great. Now, back to my fucking retarded speech, which I never started because these fagolas threw me off my groove, especially you, you dicksponge" The teacher stated, motioning towards Pinkie, who still had a blank face, "My name is Mr. Higglesworth, and if you do what I tell you to then you all FAIL!" Mr. Higglesworth said to the class, laughing very awkwardly after. Rainbow Dash just gawked, having no idea what was up with this teacher, Amongst the teacher's laughter, "Ah, fail, it's such a funny word!" Mr. Higgs said before resuming laughing. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a stallion whispering into another student's ear, "NO TALKING! F!" Mr. Higgs shouted before throwing a clipboard at the stallion's face. Looking towards the front of the room, he noticed Rainbow Dash doodling on a sheet of lined paper, "Oh look! Looks like we have an artist in the class! Let's see how bad her drawing is!" Mr. Higglesworth commented. Snatching Rainbow's drawing, he carefully examined it. The picture was an incredibly detailed portrait of Rainbow Dash and Spirtfire embraced in a tight hug. Mr. Higglesworth laughed obnoxiously at the sight, "Not only an artist but a lesbian!" Mr. Higgs continued laughing as he chucked the piece of paper out the window, which it somehow shattered it like a rock and landed outside. The stallion who was caught talking came straight up to the psychotic teacher, "HEY! That is uncalled for!" The stallion scolded to the teacher, "Well since this fagola talked in class, POP QUIZ!" Mr. Higgs loudly exclaimed to the class. In a split second, everypony in the room was in test taking mode, while Mr. Higglesworth was now sitting in a soft recliner. Rainbow Dash just stared at the test in confusion, still dazed by the past events, "What does 3y(2x)98/32-6-x-n-3-poop equal? The hay is this?" Rainbow Dash though to herself as she attempted to take this "quiz". Just then, Mr. Higglesworth turned to her, "This how it works you fagola! I read your thoughts! F!" Mr. Higgs yelled then threw a clipboard at Rainbow's face. Some muffled speaking was heard from Rainbow Dash, now lying on the ground, "You talked, double F" Mr. Higgs added on, "WOW, DOUBLE F? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!" Pinkie yelled spontaneously, "You talked, A+" Mr. Higgs responded, "WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash yelled in disagreement, "F" Mr. Higgs quickly clarified. Rainbow Dash just slumped back in her seat in disgust, "Pss, Rainbow Dash! I'll give you the answer to number one if you throw this at Mr. Higglesworth!" Pinkie Pie whispered to the cyan pegasus with a crumpled piece of paper in her hoof, "You talked, A+!" Mr. Higgs said back to Pinkie, "Ha! Never mind, Fagola!" Pinkie said again, this time throwing the paper at Rainbow Dash. Just then, the bell started ringing, and everypony got up and left the room, "Bell rang, all of you fail!" Mr. Higglesworth said as his goodbye to the leaving ponies. -- I Rainbow Dash's 3rd period, a pony looking like the mayor of Ponyville sat at a desk in an office chair with a keyboard in her lap, as a text-to-speech translator spoke, "Hello class, please sit in your-" The voice spoke, but was cut off by Pinkie's annoying laughing, "Stop laughing and sit down" the voice said, "Oh, OK, sorry" Pinkie replied in a normal voice, but immediately resumed laughing, eventually going to sit down at a desk, "My name is Miss Pony, and I will be your magic study teacher for this year" The translator said again. Pinkie continued to laugh obnoxiously, "WHAT ARE YOU, IROBOT?" Pinkie annoyingly yelled out, "I have a broken voice box and have to use a text-to-speech translator to speak to the class" The program stated, "TEXT TO SPEECH! MORE LIKE TEXT TO GAY! I'M SO FUNNY!" Pinkie blurted again, "I will be taking attendence, please raise your hand when I call your name" The translator continued, "H-hold on a sec" Pinkie said in her normal voice, then shoved miss Pony, who was still in an office chair, out the window and out of the school. Pinkie then took control of the text-to-speech machine, "I am an old fart that likes to do nothing but do Rainbow Dash's mom in 69 before the pussy pussy pussy" Pinkie made the translator say. Soon, Miss Pony came back in a new office chair and threw Pinkie out of her seat, "That was not necessary, please do not do that ever again" Miss Pony responded to Pinkie's actions, "THAT'S WHY YOU LIKE MY PUPPET SHOWS!" Pinkie yelled from her seat, then threw Miss Pony out once again. However, just as Pinkie was about to make her moves, the bell rang, and all the ponies in the room left. -- The last period of the day for the cyan mare was PE, and as ponies were entering the gym, a burly white stallion with a crystal blue mane was yelling from the other side of the gym something Rainbow couldn't make out, but she did know that this was Shining Armor as their PE coach, "GET 20 OF WHAT? THE NUMBER OF TURDS THROWN AT YOUR FACE?" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled back to Shining Armor, "Do not back-talk to me young mare! Or you will spend the rest of your life in the Rainbow Factory! Give me 20 Push-ups PRONTO!" The coach yelled back, vigorously pointing towards the ground, "TEN HUT! Line up in formation against the wall!" Shining Armor yelled, so everypony in the gym did just that, "HEY FAGOLA! YOUR A GYM TEACHER NOT AN ARMY GENERAL!" Pinkie challenged to the stallion, "I was in the Equestrian Royal Guard for 25 years, so suck it up filly! Now what I want you to do, is climb this rope, the higher you go, the higher your grade gets! First lucky one up, is you!" Shining quickly stated then motioned towards Pinkie Pie, so she casually walked up to the rope hanging from the ceiling and began to climb it, inflating her bubbly tail orally as she went. Once she got to the top, "HEY! I CAN SEE FAGOLA CITY FROM HERE! OH LOOK! THERE'S RAINBOW DASH'S HOUSE!" Pinkie yelled from the top of the rope as her tail deflated. Soon, she lost grip of the rope and came crashing down to the ground, "Hmm, F, Next!" Shining yelled out to the crowd. Up came Vinyl Scratch, who began climbing the rope in silence. However, when she got only a few feet off the ground, her vision started to blur, "Woah, woah! I think I had too much boooooooze!" Vinyl screamed before landing on the ground, "Hmm, D, Next!" The coach yelled again as Rainbow Dash came up to the rope and began climbing. The climb came very easily because she used her wings to assist her, but once she was at the top, the rope snapped, and Rainbow suffered the same fate as the previous ponies before her, "Hmm, F, Next!" Shining said to the fallen pegasus, who just sighed in agony over how her day had gone. This was going to be a long year...
Pep RalliesRainbow Dash was snoozing as usual after the crazy day she had at school previously, until the ever so familiar beep of her alarm clock snapped her awake. Standing up in her morning haze, Rainbow started to push the stop button on her alarm clock, but after about 5 presses, it didn't work. Rainbow Dash just disregarded it and moved on. This time however, Rainbow simply bolted out her front door and started spaztically running through the city of Manehattan to get to her High School. Along the way, she was launched to the side by an unsuspecting chariot and knocked a little filly off her tricycle and into her mother. Seeing it as a faster means of transportation, Rainbow got on the trike and started madly pedaling to get to school. The mother just stared in awe at what had just happened. When Rainbow Dash busted through the front door of the high school and continued pedaling as she created a wave of ponies that she had plowed through. Finally, Rainbow stopped in front of her first period class, Mr. Cool's room. She quietly got off the tricycle and sat down in her usual seat, "Attention class, you will all be having a pep rally starting after second period. Remember to walk out to the field and sit down in the bleachers accordingly and no dilly-dallying!" Mr. Cool stated as he waved his hoof to the class, Pinkie Pie suddenly awoke from her slumber, "DILLY DALLYING! WHO SAYS THAT ANYMORE? OH WAIT! MR COOL DOES!" Pinkie shouted then obnoxiously laughed. Mr. Cool just disregarded this as usual, "Also, today we will have two new students joining us today, please welcome Applejack..." Mr. Cool presented as an orange mare wearing a stetson entered the class, "and Twilight Sparkle..." Mr. Cool added on as a lavender unicorn came flying into the classroom the same way Pinkie usually did, "AKSHUALY ITS TWIDOS 6.90 WEETART!" Twilight yelled to Mr. Cool as a random boot hit him in the face, "OH LOOK! ANOTHER EGGHEAD IN THE CLASS! LOOKS LIKE YOUR NOT ALONE RAINBOW DASH! HA!" Pinkie Pie annoyingly yelled to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow just turned around to face Pinkie, "You do realize there's a cannon filled with radioactive sewage that's about to fire in your face? WAH!" Rainbow yelled in panic as said item fired at Pinkie, covering her face in radioactive goop. Pinkie just laughed as a response, "GOOD ONE RAINBOW DASH!" Pinkie yelled to her cyan mate. Rainbow Dash just turned back around to the front of the room, "Wow, I was only in the class for 15 seconds and something gay happened!" Applejack yelled to the pair, "YOU'RE GAY!" Pinkie yelled back to Applejack, who was now now sitting in her seat, "BANANAS!" Applejack randomly shouted to the class, "Hey girls, whoever wants to make some bad dubstep behind the bleachers with me raise your hoof!" Vinyl Scratch yelled out. Nopony raised their hoof at Vinyl's request, "HAY GURLSH! MY NAMES TWIDOS 6.90 AND I'M MAJOR LEETHAXOR!" Twidos, now sitting in her seat next to Rainbow Dash shouted out, "I leethaxed your mom!" Applejack responded, "NU! MY MUM HASH A MAGIC PWOOF OS!" Twidos yelled back, "If you understood what the term "leet" meant, then it's obvious, I PASSED THE BARRIER!" Applejack stated, "YOU KNOW WHAT!? I'M GONNA LEETHAX YOU!" Twidos shouted. A flare from her horn ignited and Applejack was flung out of the room in an explosion, "Alright, now for your warm up, how do you say hoof in Italian?" Mr. Cool asked to class, seemingly oblivious to what had just happened. He then looked towards Rainbow Dash, who was now sleeping on her desk, "Rainbow Dash, do you know this one?" Mr. Cool asked, "No... but I'll tell you what you DON'T KNOW!" Rainbow yelled with her voice muffled in the desk, "SHE'S A LESBIAN!" Pinkie yelled to the teacher, "You're a lesbian!" Rainbow yelled through the desk, "You're both lesbians!" Applejack butted into the mix, "Oh, ok, sorry" Pinkie said in a normal voice, then obnoxiously laughed once again, "Oh yeah, hoof is pierde!" Rainbow said to Mr. Cool, answering his question, "WRONG! THAT MEANS FOOT!" Pinkie yelled up to Rainbow as a boot nailed her in the back of the head, "You're a foot" Rainbow yelled through the desk, "YOU'RE MOM'S A FOOT!" Pinkie yelled again, but the bell rang right after, putting an end to the madness of first period. -- Rainbow made her casual entrance as Mr. Higglesworth stood in the doorway, but Pinkie of course knocked him off his feet as she entered. Once everyone entered the classroom, "Woah! These fagolas again!?" Mr. Higglesworth yelled then jumped out the window of the room in panic. Rainbow Dash and the other students stared in confusion, but Pinkie stared with a stupid smile on her face. Mr. Higgs, then emerged from behind the podium, "Woah! Just kidding! Alright! At the end of the period today we'll head down to that gay Pep rally crap, so don't make a scene!" Mr. Higgs exclaimed to the class, "Your a scene!" A voice from the doorway responded. Mr. Higglesworth turned and saw an orange mare known as Applejack standing in the doorway. Mr. Higgs laughed weirdly at this sight, "A new fagola to make fun of! From now on until you die a lonely death I'm going to call you fagola..." Mr. Higglesworth said to Applejack, "Actually, the name's Applejack" Applejack corrected, "HI APPLEJACK, MORE LIKE ALCOHOL!" Pinkie yelled while madly laughing until a boot hit her in the head, "Congratulations, anyway, I have your grades for those fag quizzes the other day! Rainbow Dash, F!" Mr. Higgs yelled as Rainbow got hit in the face with a clipboard, "Pinkie Pie, F! Big Mac, F! Octavia, F! Fluttershy, F! and Fagola, F!" Mr. Higglesworth called out to said ponies as they each got a clipboard thrown at their face, "I didn't even take it though!" Applejack said back while she was still on the ground, "That's why you failed!" Mr. Higgs replied as he laughed, "My Celestia, transferring to this school was a big mistake!" Applejack responded, "Hey, everyone makes mistakes fagola, like you know, how your redneck parents made you? Big mistake!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled back as a shopping cart was thrown at the already thrown down pony, "Hey teacher, can I go to the bathroom?" Pinkie asked in her normal voice, "The opposite of yes!" Mr. Higgs replied as another clipboard collided with her face. At the end of Mr. Higgs's chaos train, the principle came upon the loudspeaker, "Attention, all students and teachers must report to the bleachers at this moment. Attention, this is your principle, attention, I am still your principle, attention, attention, attention, thanks, that's all" The principle said over the intercom, "You heard your unicornfag principle, get going!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled to the class. -- Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie moved quickly through the halls to get out back to the field, eventually picking up Twidos and Applejack along the way. Eventually, the group was outside on the field, "HEY GIRLS, YOU WANNA JUST SKIP THE GAY PEP RALLY?" Pinkie asked to the group of friends. Various statements of agreement sounded. Just then, Miss Pony wheeled over in her office chair, keyboard in her lap, "I hope you girls don't plan on skipping this week's pep rally, because Mr. Higglesworth will be guarding the exit" her text to speech translator said, "H-hold on one second" Pinkie said, then proceeded to fling Miss Pony away and into a football post, "KAY GIRLS THE COAST IS CLEAR, LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Pinkie exclaimed loudly to the group, "Where do poor excuses for fillies think you're going?" a voice said. The 4 of them turned to see it was Shining Armor, their PE Coach, "WER JUST GONNA SKIP SHEH PEP RALLY" Twidos said annoyingly, "SHUT UP TWIDOS! YOU RUINED THE SUPRISE!" Pinkie yelled out, "There is no room for suprise her, sister sit down, DOWN!" Shining yelled to the group, and so they sat down in the bleachers casually. Later, there were only 3 ponies of the group sitting, watching the pep rally, "Hey girls, did you see where Pinkie went?" Rainbow Dash asked the group, "If she's escaping and leaving us here, then who wants to knock some shots with the partyers at the back of the school?" Applejack asked. All three ponies raised their hoof until a familiar voice sounded from below, "HEY FAGOLAS, DOWN HERE!" The voice yelled out. The trio looked over the edge of the bleachers to see Pinkie Pie near the corner of the bleachers, "I FOUND A SECRET PATH THAT CAN LEAD US OUTSIDE!" Pinkie yelled upward again. The trio hopped down and all 4 of them quickly moved through the passage out of the school. Eventually, the escapees found themselves in an area that looked like an industrial park outside of Manehattan. As the group got closer to the exit through a fence, the form of Mr. Higglesworth jumped out of the bushes bearing an automatic weapon, "Hey! Who's restricted area here? Go back or I'll be forced to rape your faces that are made of poop!" Mr. Higglesworth loudly stated while pointing his gun at the 4 ponies and laughing maniacally, "WELL, ANY BRILLIANT IDEAS ANYPONY?" Pinkie loudly asked, "I think I have a sexy one" Applejack stated then casually walked out onto the nearby road, "Seeya girls!" Applejack said as her goodbye and started comically running out of the area, "Oh darn, I'm not allowed of school property! Celestia-damned earth pony!" Mr. Higgs yelled out as he opened fire at the dashing pony, but the bullets somehow missed, "HEY GURLSH, LET ME SHAVE OUR STUPID ASSES" Twidos said to Rainbow and Pinkie, then ignited her horn and began to float through the air, going through every object in the area, "WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE SCREWED, RAINBOW DASH!" Pinkie yelled out after Twidos's escape, "Hold your fagola mouths, let me ask the principle if I can order an elite army, and if I'm allowed off school property!" Mr. Higgs said hysterically as he took out a letter and scribbled "EL33T ARMEE AND OF SKOOL PROP" on the note in horrible handwriting. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were making a mad dash as Mr. Higglesworth was distracted. A few seconds later, a letter came back to the psychotic teacher with nothing more than "Yes" written on it. As the two ponies were quickly escaping, a bunch of black chariots containing Equestrian soldiers came around the corner and surrounded the duo. Mr. Higglesworth exited one of the chariots, "Turn around fagolas, this is your last stand!" Mr. Higgs said with his weapon pointed, and soldiers slowly closing in, "AS I WAS SAYING, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE SCREWED RAINBOW DASH!" Pinkie yelled again as more chariots approached. Rainbow then slyly began to walk towards a chariot lacking a pony to pull it, "She's walking! F! SHOOT HER!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled out as he opened fire on Rainbow Dash, the bullets somehow missing. Finally, once the psycho had to reload, Rainbow Dash quickly restrained herself in the appropriate spot and began to pull the chariot. She somehow got Pinkie in the chariot just by running over her, but Rainbow still made quick work of fleeing the scene. Soon coming to Applejack and Twidos being pinned to a wall by a couple soldiers, Rainbow also got them in the vehicle by ramming into them. As Rainbow continued to pull at a high speed, "WOAH! WHERE'D YOU GET THE COOL FAGOLA MOVES!" Pinkie yelled from inside the chariot. Rainbow Dash just ignored her and kept galloping, using her wings to move faster, "Hey Rainbow Dash, did you ever get your puller's license?" Applejack asked to the speeding pony, "Nope" Rainbow said succinctly. After getting to the front area of the industrial park and heading towards the road that led to everyone's home, one of the chariot's wheels got caught in a pothole, causing it to stop abruptly, "Hey guys, why'd this thing stop?" Rainbow asked, panting because of her hard running, "HMM, THE LEVER IS POINTING TO THE EMPTY CIRCLE, WHICH MEANS SHE WON'T GO UNTIL SOMEONE BANGS HER!" Pinkie obnoxiously said. Rainbow just facehooved at Pinkie's stupidity, "WE HIT A PAWTHOLE WEETARTS" Twidos quickly said. All of a sudden, Mr. Higglesworth and his army appeared around the hijacked chariot, "Alright fagolas, get out or else!" Mr. Higgs yelled to the group, "OR ELSE WHAT?" Pinkie yelled back, "Or else I'll kill you!" Mr. Higglesworth said and started laughing psychotically, "OH WOW, SHTUPID ME, I FORGOT TO NOCLIP USH OUT OF HERE" Twidos exclaimed, ignited her horn, and then the chariot flew upwards into the sky without a sound with everypony still in it. -- All four ponies appeared in front of Rainbow Dash's small house, standing around like nothing had happened, "EGGHEAD POWER!" Pinkie screamed out and started laughing, "Thanks for the ride Rainbow Dash! I'll see you at school tomorrow" Applejack said to Rainbow before leaving, "THANKSH FOR SAVING OUR ASH" Twidos yelled out then noclipped away, "YOU'RE GAY! Just kidding, your cool now" Pinkie said to Rainbow Dash, who smirked a little at the statement, "Oh, one more thing" Pinkie added and then a random boot hit Rainbow Dash, "BYEEEEEEEE!" Pinkie yelled out then began to inflate her tale to float into the sky. With only Rainbow Dash left, she got up and went back into her small house, to find her alarm clock still beeping. Rainbow just sighed in agony and kept going with her daily life.
Field TripsRainbow Dash was getting the well deserved sleep she needed after escaping near-death and her psychotic algebra teacher, Mr. Higglesworth. Once again, her annoying alarm clock sounded, but Rainbow attempted to sleep through it. After about five beeps, Rainbow finally woke up and tossed her pillow at the alarm clock, knocking it off her nightstand and breaking it. As with every other morning, Rainbow bolted out her front door and started spaztically running to school. However, she accidentally took a wrong turn and ended up on a flying passenger chariot. Kicking the original flier off, Rainbow restrained herself in and very poorly flew the chariot until the restraints broke and sent her tumbling towards the ground. In Mr. Cool's homeroom, everypony was doing their usual activities. Twidos 6.90 was trying recently acquired spells on herself, Pinkie Pie was sleeping on her desk, and Mr. Cool was just being his plain old self. Coincidentally, Rainbow Dash came smashing through the roof and landed in her seat, right next to Twidos, "Oh, is Rainbow Dash late again-" Mr. Cool was saying before Pinkie sprung to life, "WHAT'S THAT MR. COOL? YOU THINK I'M FAT!?" Pinkie yelled out, "No Pinkie, don't assume-" Mr. Cool tried to say but was cut off once again, "THAT WASN'T VERY NICE! SAY YOUR SORRY!" Pinkie shouted, "SAY IT!" Pinkie added on after a few moments of silence, "Anyway, there's a field trip today during 3rd period-" Mr. Cool announced, "YES! NOW WE WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH MISS PONY FOR FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT!" Pinkie obnoxiously stated, "Just make sure you girls don't-" Mr. Cool stated before being cut off yet again, "DILLY DALLY! I KNOW MR COOL, I READ MINDS, LIKE RAINBOW DASH IS THINKING SHE WANTS TO BUCK ME TO THE MOON!" Pinkie shouted in Rainbow Dash's ear before Rainbow reared up on her desk and powerfully kicked Pinkie out of the room with her hind legs. Soon, Rainbow just sat back down in her chair, "Alright, now let's go back to what we were talking about last week, how do you say hoof in Italian?" Mr. Cool asked, "Come on, I just answered that in the last chapter" Rainbow said back to the teacher, "RAINBOW DASH! YOU'RE A LESBIAN, SHUT YOUR FACE!" Pinkie yelled to the cyan mare. Just then, Rainbow's entire face swirled around and vanished so her head had nothing but a blank face. Mr. Cool just stared at Twidos who was still experimenting with her body with magic, "Twidos, stop trying to give yourself new body parts while I'm speaking" Mr. Cool said to the concentrated unicorn, "...Twidos" Mr. Cool said to the lavender unicorn, who now had her horn in an intense flare. Finally, all of the things Twidos had been working with vanished, and Applejack was flung out of the window with an explosion again, "SORWY I JUST HAD TO GET RID OF MY ARTIFICIAL WINGSH!" Twidos explained, "ARTIFICIAL PARTS ARE FOR PONIES WHO FAIL AT LIFE!" Pinkie yelled in Twidos's ear, "WELL ATLEASHED THEIR NOT FOR GAY AND SHTUPID PONIES LIKE YOU!" Twidos yelled back, "Oh OK" Pinkie said in her normal voice before sitting back in her seat, "Back to Italian class, now how do you-" Mr. Cool tried to say but Pinkie started laughing extremely loudly again, "Now how do you say hoof?" Mr. Cool asked, getting a little impatient, "Vodka?" Vinyl Scratch answered from the back of the room, "No Vinyl, vodka is not the answer" Mr. Cool replied, "OH! PICK ME! MEMEMEME!" Pinkie shouted to the teacher, "Yes Pinkie" Mr. Cool said back, "What's the question? OH YEAH! HOOF!" Pinkie obnoxiously answered, "The Italian version-" "HOOF!? WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF!?" "Pinkie, hoof does not translate to hoof" "YOU'RE A HOOF!" Pinkie annoyingly yelled then threw a random boot at Mr. Cool's face, "Hey girls, does anyone know if Applejack is here today?" Rainbow Dash asked, "I SAW HER GET BLOWN UP BY TWIDOS, OF COURSE SHE'S DEAD!" Pinkie loudly responded. Then, just at that moment, Applejack walked in through the doorway, burn marks all over her body, holding a half eaten piece of apple pie, "Sorry everybody, had to have a snack before school!" Applejack stated to the class, "Pie at 8 o' clock in the morning, WHAT ARE YOU!?" Rainbow Dash yelled in response, "SEE!? I TOLD YOU TWIDOS BLEW HIM UP, THAT'S HER CLUE!" Pinkie yelled out. Rainbow Dash just turned to face her "friend", "...Was it not obvious?" Rainbow Dash asked, "SHUT YOUR FACE!" Pinkie yelled out and Rainbow's face did the same swirling motion as the bell rang and dismissed the class. -- Entering Mr. Higglesworth's room as usual, Rainbow sat down in her seat, and noticed that instead of Mr. Higgs, there was Miss Pony sitting in her office chair with her keyboard at the front of the room. When Pinkie flew in, she turned around abruptly to face Miss Pony, "WRONG ROOM, MISS PONY! THE RETARD'S CONVENTION'S DOWN THE OTHER WAY!" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled to the mute mare, "Mr. Higglesworth is absent today, so I will be substituting your math class for today, now sit down" The familiar text-to-speech voice replied. As Pinkie sat down, she noticed a new pony in the class, gnawing on what looked like a plastic doll, "MY NAME'S... DERPY" The grey pony said quickly, "Wait until I take the attendance please" Miss Pony said as Derpy grabbed one of the miscellaneous items on the floor and began chewing on it. Miss Pony attempted to read Mr. Higglesworth's poor handwriting on the attendance sheet, "Derpy" The translator called out, "MY NAME'S... DERPY, DERPY J. HOOVES" Derpy said again, "Applejack" Miss Pony called out, "That's my name! Don't wear it out miss P!" the orange mare responded, "Rainbow Dash" The program continued, "Whatya talking to me for?" Rainbow stated, lying back in her chair, "Hulk Pussy" Miss Pony read, making Pinkie Pie laugh hysterically, "Sorry. It's just that you say it funny" Pinkie said in her normal voice, "NOW SAY IT! AGAIN FOR A GOLD STAR!" Pinkie yelled out, "Sluttershy" The translator spoke, making the cream pegasus hide behind her mane, "Big Mac, aka Gay harvester" The voice said once again, "HEY! That is uncalled for!" Big Mac yelled out to the teacher, "Octavia" She called out again. Outside, Twidos was passing by, until she caught sight of Miss Pony, which was simply love at first sight, "Can I help you?" The translator said to the lovestriken mare, "SALUTATIONS MISS! CAN WE HAVE MAGICAL SECKSH LATER?" Twidos requested to the teacher, "What is magic?" Miss Pony replied, crushing Twidos's thoughts as she slowly faded into Mr. Higglesworth, who then laughed maniacally, "Just kidding fagolas, beat it kid!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled out as he threw a clipboard at Twidos's face, "I'M GONNA LEETHAX YOU SO HARD! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO EVEN WALK!" Twidos yelled before she left the area, "That's what she said" Mr. Higgs replied as Derpy sprung up and stole the clipboard that hit Twidos. Just then, Applejack raised her hoof, "Whatya want dick stain!" Mr. Higgs yelled, "Have you-" Applejack tried to say before getting cut off, "NO! Now shut your face!" Mr. Higglesworth quickly said back, "OH! Irony! I get it because I said it before, you're supposed to shut your face, Applejack!" Pinkie stated in her normal face. Applejack's face did the same swirling motion as Rainbow Dash's only a lot faster, "Alright, enough shutting faces for once! All of you generic fags of students are all the same, commonly joking, unfunny puns, and most importantly, your big pointy ass horns! Now if you want to learn something I suggest you-" Mr. Higglesworth was cut off by deep, animal-like breathing. He slowly turned around to see a grey mare with crossed eyes and a blonde mane behind him, breathing like an animal. The pony slowly came close to Mr. Higglesworth's ear, "MY NAME'S... DERPY" Derpy said slowly, then slowly walked away, "Hey, we learned something! Her name is Derpy!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed in sarcasm, "See what I mean? You make newfags look like Princess Celestia!" Mr. Higgs yelled out, but then the bell rang and everyone started leaving, "Get out of here you genericfags!" He yelled as they left. -- Rainbow Dash of course sat down casually, but Pinkie Pie happened to notice Miss Pony lying on the ground, presumably unconscious, so she started laughing loudly. Miss Pony sat back up and grabbed a spare keyboard, "I thought we were over this laughing business" the text to speech said, "JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, EH MISS P? HA! P! P AS IN PUSSY!" Pinkie Pie yelled aloud and resumed laughing. Finally, once everypony was in their seats, "Now, does anyone know what the Elements of Harmony are?" the program requested. A pony in the class wearing a long trench coat stood up on his table, "Yes, i suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the mares in the minorities first" the pony responded. Just then, the principle came over the intercom, "Attention, this is your principle, guess what, I'm still your principle" The principle said over the intercom, "YOU SAID THAT IN THE LAST CHAPTER! FAAAAAAAAAIL!" Pinkie Pie yelled in the middle of the announcement, "Everyone must report to your chariots right now. Everyone who is left behind will be knocked out, gutted, and fed to the retarded ponies" The principle finished on the intercom, "Mmm, smells like chicken" The pony in the trench coat stated, "Hey Postal pony, you're not funny, you look like a gay version of Neo who's voice actor fails at being cool" Pinkie said in her normal voice, "Hey, I'm just exercising my second amendment rights here you fucking communist!" The Postal Pony said back, "WATCH THE LANGUAGE, MISTER!" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled, "Let's all have a good day except the douche bag wearing a trench coat" The principle randomly said over the intercom, "Fuck me, I better get going" The postal pony said before whipping off his trench coat, revealing his wings and flying out through the window, "LANGUAGE!" Pinkie yelled through the window that was now shattered, "You heard you're unicornfag principle, now get going" The translator said once again, and all the students got up and headed down to the chariot loop. -- "SO YEAH, HOW DID MISS PONY COME BACK TO LIFE?" Pinkie yelled out to the line of ponies waiting to enter their passenger chariot, "Sketch!" A dark hued stallion standing in front of the chariot yelled out into the crowd with a gangster-like voice, "SKETCH? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I'M CRUDELY DRAWN!?" Pinkie exclaimed, "Yo this kid doesn't even know what a sketch is! What a slicer!" The dark hued stallion said again, "We're so cool!" Another pony at the dark hued one's side yelled out, "OH NO! YOU'RE CALLING ME A SLICER! I SLICE THINGS!? SO OFFENSIVE!" Pinkie loudly stated, "QUIT PISSING AROUND AND GET IN HERE!" One of the pullers yelled to the ponies outside. All of the ponies did said action and the chariot was moving. On a remote country road, the passenger chariot being manned by 4 ponies was moving down the road at a decent speed. Inside the passenger section, Twidos was sitting next to Derpy who gnawed on her own hoof, "SO HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO MAKE YOURSHELF JISH RAINBOWS?" Twidos asked, "MY NAME'S DERPY DAMMIT!" The grey mare scolded to the unicorn. Soon, the chariot full of ponies reached its destination, the Equestria History Museum. -- Inside, all 5 ponies of the group of friends and several other ponies were standing in front of Miss Pony, "Alright everyone, I will be your guide for the day" Miss Pony said to the group, "TAKE USH TO THE CANTERLOT ROOM, ITSH MY FAVORITE PLACE" Twidos yelled to Miss Pony, "Whoever likes Canterlot is a snotty, rich douche!" Applejack stated. Later in the tour, the group was at the exhibit about the origins of Manehattan, "THIS PLACE SUCKS BIG PUSSY! I'M LEAVING! KAY THANKS BYE!" Pinkie yelled then made a mad dash for the exit, "Stop it Pinkie, get back here right now" The text to speech said, "Ugh, that fagola" Applejack said to herself, "NO, SHUT UP APPLEJACK!" Pinkie yelled back as she threw a boot at Applejack, "EVERYPONY EXCEPT APPLEJACK, FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!" Pinkie shouted to the group as the rest of the gang caught up. Just as they were about to charge through the exit, Miss Pony stopped them in their tracks, "Stop where you are, you are to leave when I tell you to, turn around and follow me" Miss Pony commanded throught the program, "H-hold on one sec" Pinkie said in her normal voice then flung Miss Pony toward the far wall, "KAY GIRLS, LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Pinkie yelled then commanded everyone to leave the museum. Applejack however, lagged behind, so Pinkie locked to sliding doors, leaving Applejack inside, "HEY! I SAID EVERYPONY EXCEPT APPLEJACK! YOU'RE STAYING IN THERE WITH MISS PONY LICK HER PUSSY OR SOMETHING!" Pinkie yelled to the prisoner. Just then Applejack produced a piece of Apple Pie, complete with whipped cream, "Open the door I have PIE!" Applejack yelled back, "HOLY TITS, IS THAT APPLE!?" Pinkie yelled, then smashed her hoof through the glass and snatched the pie, laughing crazily, "YOU FELL FOR IT!" Pinkie yelled in triumph, "You know I can just open the door now?" Applejack stated, then did just that and left the building, "SHIT! I FORGOT MY SPELL BOOK!" Twidos yelled in realization. Over at the chariot, one of the pullers was trying to break the voice-activated lock, but since it was set to self-destruct on first wrong guess, the book exploded into tiny pieces. Twidos just stared at the ashes of the book, her eyes wide in disbelief, "MY LIFE... MY CAREER, ITSH, ITSH, ITSH... DESTROYED! NOOOOOOOOO!" Twidos melodramatically yelled, "HA HA! TWIDOS'S LIFE GOT DESTROYED!" Pinkie yelled jokingly, "JUST KIDDING! I MEMORIZED EVERY SHPELL, AND CEWESTIA HAS 9000 COPIESH OF IT" Twidos stated, "MY JOKE... MY PLAN... IT'S, IT'S, IT'S... DESTROYED! NOOOOOOOOO!" Pinkie exclaimed while resting on her hind legs, "Just kidding, I can do this" Pinkie said, then smacked Twidos's chin, laughing hysterically. Twidos immediately started chasing Pinkie out of the area, "I'M GONNA LEETHAX YOU!" Twidos was screaming as she chased her "friend", "What an exciting day this was!" Applejack exclaimed to the group, "Indeed it was" Rainbow Dash agreed, "MY NAME'S DEEEEEEEEERPYYY!" Derpy yelled in excitement. Off in the distance, "TWIDOS IS A PIE!" Pinkie yelled in the distance, "PINKIE'SH GAY!" Twidos yelled back, "Well it looks like this..." Rainbow Dash said as she produced a pair of sunglasses and put them on her head, "...is a cold case" Rainbow finished then put on the most smug look she could muster, "Every single FUCKING JOKE RAINBOW DASH! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? GOD!" Derpy yelled at Rainbow's face then left the scene. Rainbow Dash just shrugged and headed in the general direction of her house.
MondaysIt's early Monday morning, and Rainbow Dash is of course snoozing as usual after the past few weeks. From surviving her psychotic algebra teacher and his elite army, to escaping the Equestrian History Museum, her school year had been hectic so far. Of course, this peaceful slumber couldn't last forever, because the ever-so annoying beep of her alarm clock sounded and mad Rainbow Dash smash it with her hoof out of instinct. Sitting up in her bed, Rainbow hung her head, "Mondays..." Rainbow whispered to herself. Out of the corner of her eye, Rainbow saw what looked like a blanket of snow covering her lawn and jumped with joy. Slamming open her front door, she saw that the snow was only covering her driveway, as if intentionally put there, so she reluctantly began to run in a spastic manner. Through the streets of Manehattan she ran, causing unsuspecting chariots to collide as she made her way to Manehattan High School. Finally entering the halls, Rainbow continued to dash through the halls, smashing into ponies and their items. Rainbow eventually got to her first period class, which she had to bust down the door to get in homeroom, "Rainbow Dash, I'm surprised to see you didn't cause any school property destruction on your way here" Rainbow's Italian teacher, Mr. Cool complimented as Rainbow sat down, "That's because I'm-" Rainbow tried to say before getting cut off by Pinkie Pie, who was sitting at the desk behind Rainbow, "GAY!" Pinkie butted in, "You know what Pinkie? You smell!" Rainbow jeered to the pink pony, "LIKE GROUND BEEF?" Pinkie replied, "No, like, umm..." Rainbow Dash said, trying to find the right words, "STRAWBERRIES!" Applejack randomly yelled from the other side of the room. In the cafeteria, however, Twilight Sparkle, or Twidos 6.90 is reading a long scroll she had recently acquired, "THIS CHAPTER SHUCKS MY SHIT! ITSH NOT EVEN FUNNY AND I'D RATHER SHWITCH THE PLACE OF MY HEAD AND PUSSY! SEEYA GURLSH!" Twidos yelled, then rolled up the scroll, quickly looked around, then dashed off to her first period class. Back in Mr. Cool's room, "Today is the start of the second marking period and you know what that means err... Vinyl Scratch?" Mr. Cool asked said pony, "Does that mean I get to eat a pig?" Vinyl Scratch asked in response, "No Vinyl Scratch, it doesn't mean you get to eat a pig" Mr. Cool replied, "Aww crap, back to the vodka!" Vinyl stated as Twidos busted in the door and started toward her seat, "Twidos, may I hear your ridiculous excuse?" Mr. Cool asked the lavender unicorn, "OH! NOW THATSHOO MENTION IT, I JUSHT RECALL HAXING DIS SPASHE AND TIME WAVE AND RECREATING DISHCORDSH CHAOSH FROM THE 1300S! IT WASH SHIMPLE I JUSHT HAD TO GET TO THE DIRECTORY" Twidos explained, "WOW! THAT SOUNDS GAYER THAN PENIS!" Pinkie yelled up to the egghead, "PENISH ISHN'T GAY YOU" Twidos jeered back, "Come on, focus class, it's been one marking period and you're all flunking!" Mr. Cool boringly said to the class, "SHUT UP MISTER COOL! WHO ASKED YOU?" Pinkie shouted to the front of the room, "Pinkie Pie you failed the first marking period" Mr. Cool told Pinkie, who laughed hysterically. Applejack then banged her hoof on the table, as if it was a mallet, "LOLLIPOPS!" Applejack randomly yelled, "I'M HAVING MAGICAL SHECKSH WITH TRIKSHIE RIGHT NOW!" Twidos added on. Just then, the bell rang and everypony was on their way to their next class, -- Everypony was sitting as usual in Mr. Higglesworth's class as Mr. Higgs himself simply kept his perched towards the ceiling and his eyes on the students, "My genitals itch!" Mr. Higgs finally proclaimed, then began scratching his private area with his hind leg, "Reminds me of my buddy Slim!" Applejack stated, "Slim? As in like Slim Jim?" Rainbow Dash asked, "RAINBOW DASH! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE JOKES ANYMORE!" Pinkie yelled at the cyan mare, "And you're not allowed to be gay! F!" Mr. Higglesworth shouted, then threw the ever-so-famous clipboard at Pinkie Pie's head, "Come on Mr. Higgs, another F?" Pinkie asked in her normal voice, "Crabs give me stiffies!" Octavia randomly stated, "JUST LIKE POTATOES!" Derpy added on, "Ooh! Tough mare over here! Thinks the shit don't stink!" Mr. Higgs yelled back at Octavia, "It actually does kind of, oh, excuse me, how does this sound?" Octavia asked before randomly producing a microphone and singing heinously into it, "Umm, sorry, didn't quite catch that" Mr. Higgs said, making Octavia this time start terribly playing the cello like a guitar, "Are you, uhh, making a declarative statement? Or is it something-" Mr. Higgs tried to explain before being interrupted again, "GAY!" Pinkie butted in, "LIKE YOU!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled back, "How exactly am I gay?" Pinkie questioned normally, "Because you overuse the word every five seconds!" Mr. Higgs stated, "Gay?" Pinkie said after exactly five seconds, "Dammit, where's that Slim?" Applejack impatiently said looking at the clock, "The hell's crab whore? Some kind of bad porno?" Mr. Higgs questioned to Octavia, "It's when you get really down low, and you strum a guitar at vagina level, like this" Octavia explained, producing a cello again and playing it horridly, "WHAT IF YOUR PUSSY'S ON YOUR FACE?" Pinkie rudely questioned, "Dick counts to" Octavia said, "MY NAME RHYMES WITH DICK!" Derpy yelled from her usual spot, "Excuse me for a second" Mr. Higglesworth said before going up and bucking Octavia in the face, causing her to fall to the ground in pain, "All you fagolas have been doing this year is acting like immature little BRATS, who make dangerously unfunny puns and jokes that not only do I find not funny, but they always have relate to something being gay or the female reproductive organ! PINKIE!" Mr. Higglesworth explained, "Yeah" Pinkie casually said then put her head down again, "So you know what that means you little shits!?" Mr. Higgs asked, "Rico crapcore to some Attack Attack?" Octavia asked, "Yeah! Well Attack Attack THIS!" Mr. Higgs yelled as he threw his stool at Octavia, "DOUBLE F!" Mr. Higgs shouted as he threw another item, "Fs are so overused! So why not splice it up with a little JIZZ!" Applejack declared, "I'LL SPLICE UP YOUR FACE WITH AN F!" Mr. Higgs shouted as he threw another stool at Applejack, "Okay, okay, enough with the Fs already, like, take your medication or something" Octavia told Mr. Higglesworth, who turned to face her, looking not-too-happy, "Speaking of medication!" Mr. HIgglesworth explained before throwing some cocaine on his worktable and happily snorted it up, "I KNEW IT!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed upon seeing this, "I sold it, for 10 BANANAS!" Derpy yelled out, "BANANAS!" Applejack happily proclaimed, "NOO!" Derpy yelled back, "Alright you fagolas, before we get anywhere we're going take NOTES!" Mr. Higgs shouted, slamming a projector on his table, "OH! HA! FOR A SECOND THERE I THOUGHT YOU SAID NOSE! I MEAN, WHO WOULD TAKE SOMEONE'S NOSE, THAT'S KIND OF GAY!" Pinkie yelled obnoxiously as the class broke into conversation once more, "JESUS *Beep*ING CHRIST!" Mr. Higgs yelled while banging his head on the table, "It's not nice to use words like that!" Rainbow Dash spoke out, "Alright, back to the notes, or should I say NOOOOOSE!" Mr. Higglesworth yelled, but just as he was about to start the film, the bell rang, and everypony left the room. -- "Good afternoon everyone, please sit in your assigned seats" Miss Pony spoke through the text to speech translator to the class. Rainbow Dash soon came right up to the teacher, "Wait wait wait, woah woah woah, I though you said we could choose our own seats, on the first day!" Rainbow Dash explained to the teacher, "Times have changed Rainbow Dash, please sit down" Miss Pony said again, "HO HO! YOU JUST GOT TOLD, RAINBOW CRASH!" Pinkie Pie yelled up to the cyan mare, "Now, turn to page 96 in your textbook" Miss Pony spoke aloud as Rainbow Dash was busy doodling something on a piece of paper, "SIXTY NINE!" Pinkie exclaimed, "Today we are going to talk about-" Miss Pony attempted to say, "BOOORING! RAINBOW DASH, WAKE ME UP WHEN MISS HOENY SAYS SOMETHING COOL!" Pinkie yelled before letting herself fall asleep on her desk, "Holy shit, look!" Rainbow Dash yelled, getting Pinkie Pie's attention, "Today we are going to learn the fundamentals of..." Miss Pony explained, "RAINBOW DASH! YOU LIED TO ME! WHY!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyy!?" Pinkie yelled as Miss Pony continued to talk, "H-hold on one sec" Pinkie stated normally, then threw Miss Pony out of the room as she usually did, now taking over the projector, "WHO WANTS TO SEE TOM AND JERRY FALL OFF A CLIFF?" Pinkie asked loudly to the class. Regardless of opinion, Pinkie put the tape in and began to play the tape, as the tape went on, Rainbow grimaced at the sight of what was playing, "That's not nice..." Rainbow said aloud, "GO PUSSY SUCK A BATH!" Pinkie yelled back as a boot hit Rainbow's head. Of course, the bell rang in the middle of the tape, so the entire class left the room. -- In the hallways, the group of 5 friends, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Derpy Hooves, Twidos, and Applejack were regrouped in the halls, "HEY GIRLS, LET'S SKIP GYM CLASS AND GO EAT SOME LUNCH!" Pinkie yelled to the group. In the cafeteria, all of the girls had gotten their food and were sitting at an empty lunch table. Rainbow Dash soon began sucking back a bottle of coke in a short series of gulps, "HEY APPLEJACK! DO YOU LIKE FISH STICKS?" Pinkie questioned loudly, "NOO!" Applejack yelled in fright of the word, "Oh, OK, HEY TWIDOS, YOU LIKE FISH STICKS?" Pinkie loudly asked, "Mm, kind of" Twidos replied, "YOU LIKE TO PUT FISH STICKS... IN YOUR MOUTH!?" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled, "I PUT THEM UNDER MY HOOFNAILSH TO KILL WORMSH" Twidos responded. Just then, their PE coach, Shining Armor appeared at the table, "What are you doing here!? You're supposed to be in the gymnasium!" Shining yelled to the group, "WHATEVER," Pinkie Pie yelled back, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? PHYSICAL EDUCATION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE DAY!" Shining exclaimed, "ALL OF YOU, FAILED AGAIN!" Shining scolded at the end, "Wait a minute, if we're supposed to be in your class, why aren't you in the gym?" Rainbow Dash asked, making Shining Armor's head bobble, "I DON'T THINK HE CAN COMPUTE LOGIC RAINBOW DASH, HE'S MALFUNCTIONING, RUN!" Pinkie yelled as all five of them got up and started running out of the school. The group had just made it out of the building before a spectacular explosion erupted, throwing them all against the front gate. Pinkie got back on her hooves and laughed like crazy, "DO IT AGAIN I WASN'T LOOKING!" Derpy yelled out, "At least we can enjoy Hearth's Warming Eve without any homework!" Rainbow Dash said to the gang, "WE CAN'T HAVE JUSHT A BREAK, SHCOOLS GONE FOREVER! THAT MEANSH I CAN PULL ALL NIGHTERSH AGAIN! SHHHCORE!" Twidos cheered, swinging her front hooves up, "Attention, I'm still alive! So that means as of today you are going back to school!" The principle said over the outside intercoms, laughing after the statement, "OH YEAH? HOW COME WE ALWAYS INTERRUPTED MISTER GAY AND MISTER SHITTLESWORTH, WHEN THEY WERE ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE SECOND MARKING PERIOD!" Pinkie obnoxiously said, "And you start the second marking period as a new year!" The principle excitedly said again, "REALLY? THREE DAYS OF SOPHOMORE YEAR? THAT'S KIND OF... GAY!" Pinkie annoyingly stated, "THAT SHUCKS DICK! ANYWAY, I HAVE SHUM LEETHAXING TO FINISH! SEEYA GURLSH!" Twidos said as her farewell, then ignited her horn to make herself float through the air and objects effortlessly, "I'm going to sleep over a Slim's house! Later fellas!" Applejack said to her friends then comically ran out of the area, "I HAVE TO GO RUIN MORE FANFICS... HELLO!" Derpy said, then vanished with a slight click, leaving Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie alone "Oh, OK, another happy ending," Pinkie said normally, "Somewhat" Rainbow Dash replied, "You wanna go back to Ponyville and prank Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked in a normal voice again, "Yeah " Rainbow responded, "And you know, you're actually kind of cool for once!" Rainbow proudly said to the bubbly pink pony, "JUST KIDDING! PRANKING'S FOR LOSERS! HAVE A SHITTY HEARTH'S WARMING EVE! BYEEEEE!" Pinkie Pie yelled back, then inflated her tail to make herself float into the sky as a boot hit Rainbow Dash's head yet again. From the ground, Rainbow could see the roads that would take her back to home and Ponyville, so she got up and began to run in her usual spastic manner. As Rainbow ran off to her house, she felt like she would go to Ponyville after this, so she grabbed her luggage that she brought for temporary high school living and began to fly off towards Ponyville.
