Legend of Derpy Hooves, or Gella Bubble
This is a tale of a mare that is as old as time its self. She’s currently known as a simple mail pony with a love for muffins. No one knows exactly how old she is or where she originated from. But everyone always remembers her being in the background. But it wasn’t always this way. She used to be powerful. Yes this is the Tale of Derpy Hooves or as her original name was, Gella Bubble.
In a time before Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, another powerful force ruled over Equestria. His name was Discord, a powerful Draconequus that ruled over the land causing chaos and making everyone miserable. No one asked her to challenge Discord and force him to stop his evil ways. But she felt it was necessary to challenge him for the good of pony kind.
Gella was an Alicorn you see. She was one of the few to be birthed with physical and magical powers comparable to a god. She figured she had enough strength to challenge Discord for control of Equestria.
Despite her Cutie mark being three bubbles, Gella was actually capable of something called sonoluminescence. By using her natural ability to create magical bubbles and combining it with ultra sonic vibrations, she could make them into cold fusion bombs.
Feeling she had a weapon strong enough to face a god like entity such as Discord, she boldly challenged him for control of Equestria.
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Gella walks up to Discord as he sits on his throne.
“DISCORD!” Shouts Gella “I am here to end your reign of terror and chaos here and now!”
“End, why would you want end something as fun as this?” Discord looks upon his defiant subject with a look of curiosity.
“You have ruled long enough and I can no longer stand to see everypony as miserable as they are now.”
“Hmm, this sounds boring, are you expecting a fight of some kind? Why don’t we just play a little game to see who gets to rule instead?” As he speaks a pink cloud raining chocolate milk passes by and he casually fills a glass.
“A game? Why would you risk ruler ship of an entire continent over a silly game? I don’t buy it.”
“It’s simple my dear, if we fight it’s just going to be a boring one sided clash between us until I eventually win, and then you’ll leave defeated. But if we play a game the odds would better be in your favor don’t you think?”
“Hm I suppose, but what kind of game would you propose that we do?”
“Oh oh splendid, I have the perfect game in mind. Why don’t we make it a race?”
“A Race?! You expect to risk all of your authority over a stupid race?!” Shouts Gella as she stomps her front hoof into the ground causing fissures to appear.
“ Yes! Isn’t it a wonderful idea? But it won’t just be a simple race. It will be a race to create the best baked good!”
“A what now? Are you challenging me to a bake off?! Why would you even call it a race?!”
“Ah, now that’s where the fun part comes in. You see I already have it set up” Discord points behind his throne to a giant oven.
“You see I filled up the contraption with ponies, but don’t worry they won’t be baked alive oh heavens no. After all it’s hardly fun to create chaos and miserable ponies with no ponies around right?” He gets and evil grin on his face.
“What?! What’s going to happen to them?!
“Well you see, if I finish first then one the ponies will be coated and baked into a random type of baked good. A cookie, brownie, etc you get the idea. And the loser will have to eat them out! But don’t worry they won’t die like I said, well unless the loser is too slow to eat him out of his breadly demise anyway.” Discord lets out a wicked laugh.
“And how would this be judged exactly?”
“Simple the first one to finish baking wins the first half, then we both try a sample of each other’s baked goods and we decide whose tastes better. The better tasting one wins the second half, but if I finish baking first a pony will then be coated and baked while we decide whose is better. If you finish first then I’ll declare you the winner without even having to taste them, sounds easy does it not?”
I don’t trust this Discord fellow, but his deal sounds like I may be able to get this done and him out of power here without much a fight. Can’t hurt to try right? And besides I can always just break those poor ponies out if it becomes troublesome.
“Alright Discord, I accept your challenge, but you better not try and trick me.”
“Trick you? Why my dear I don’t want to trick you, I just want to have some fun is all. Now let’s get started shall we?”
Discord snaps his fingers and a large kitchen appears outside with all sorts of different ingredients that could be used to make anything in the baked goods section.
I’ll make the best baked good ever, and by best I mean muffins, Banana muffins to be exact. There’s no way I can lose, I’ll make them bite sized so they cook extra fast, and I’ll win this stupid contest for sure.
Gella grabs a large mixing bowl and begins to mix all the ingredients together just the way her loving mother taught her. Made with love and care Gella had it down to a T on how to create her favorite baked food.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Two cups flour, half a cup of sugar, 1 Tbsp of Baking powder, half tsp of salt, 1 cup of milk, 1 tsp pure vanilla extract, 1 large egg, 4 oz of butter, and 2 large bananas.
Gella combines the flour, baking powder and salt then heats the butter till it is hot and melted with her horn. In a separate bowl she adds the eggs, sugar, milk and vanilla in a separate bowl. Once everything is set up she slices the bananas into multiple chunks. She mixes all the ingredients together while leaving the banana chunks out. She magically pulls out a muffin baking pan and pours some of the mix into it, then drops some of the banana chunks in then covers it with more batter.
With a look of satisfaction on her face she puts the pan into the preheated oven and sets it to cook for 10 minutes, thinking they will cook faster simply because she made them smaller than normal. She turns around to see how her competition was doing.
“Oh my, are you barely starting to bake them already dear?” says Discord with a smug look on his face.
“What are you talking about Discord? It’s only been 5 minutes, how could you possibly of made anything that fast?!”
“Well it’s simple really, when I saw you use your magic to help you bake I figured I could use my magic as well, so I did.” Discord lets out a laugh and points to the counter behind him.
“What Impossible?!” Gella looks behind discord and sees that he also made muffins.
“WHAT! You Made Muffins as well?! What kind of trick is this?!”
“It’s no trick my dear, it’s called magic and might I add you also used magic yourself. So it’s only fair don’t you think?”
Gella grits her teeth in anger and shouts “It doesn’t matter! Mine will taste better anyway then you’ll have to go get that pony out!”
As Gella finishes her sentence the oven dings signaling that her muffins are done. She uses her magic and levitates them out of the oven and on to the counter next to Discords.
“Now quickly let the tasting begin before that pony suffers anymore!”
“Fine fine, here take one of mine and I’ll take one of yours.”
Derpy quickly grabs one of Discords muffins and bites the top off. Her face twists in disgust as she spits it out onto the floor.
“This Muffin tastes like Dirt!” shouts Gella .
She looks at the muffin she just bit into and sees that it’s clearly made from dirt and even has a few chocolate chips mixed into it.
“Whats wrong? Don’t you like my Chocolate dirt chip muffins?” Discord tosses Gellas muffin into his mouth and gets a look of defeat in his eyes.
“Well I will admit I lost this round. These are quite good” he continues to eat Gellas banana muffins.
“You just admitted that you lost! Now go get that Pony outta that stupid oven of yours before he suffocates!”
“Pony? Oh yes him, But I’m ever so full now, I won’t be able to save him.” Discord lets out an Evil laugh once more. “I suppose he’s just going to have to die then.”
WHAT?! First he insults me by making muffins as well, but not only that. He insulted me even more by making them from DIRT! And now he’s going to go back on his own game and just let that pony die? I can’t forgive him, I won’t stand for it!
“Enough of your Stupid game Discord! I’m going to get that pony out of there, and then I’m going to kick your ass!”
Gella flies over to the giant oven with great speed and while hovering above it releases a bubble beam from her horn. And with a Quick flap of her wings sends an ultra high frequency shock wave at her bubbles causing them to implode, destroying the top of the oven in a blast of deadly heat.
Gella flies inside the oven to see a giant muffin, big enough to hold a pony and begins to tear away at it hoping it isn’t too late.
“What was that you used to open my oven missy? It seems quite dangerous.” Discord gives Gella a look of distain.
“It’s none of your Business you freak!” as Gella tears away at the muffin she pulls off a piece with a hunk of burned flesh and fur. In horror she carefully tears away some more until she sees a face. The look on his face was of pure agony as he was slowly baked alive inside a giant muffin.
“Whoops I wonder how that happened?” Discord lets out a laugh then quickly stops. “You know, I can’t let you run around with a talent as dangerous as yours, I’m going to have to take it away from you.”
Gella had never been this angry before. Not only was her favorite food used to mock her in a game of baking. He had the audacity to use a giant muffin to kill a pony. Insulting a muffin was the same as insulting Gella herself and her mother, and she wouldn’t stand for it.
“DISCORD! I’ll KILL YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Gella flies at full speed and tackles Discord knocking him into the ground.
“Well that was uncalled for don’t you think?” Discord stands up and brushes the dirt off.
“SHUT UP!” She fires her bubble beam at Discord.
“Do you really think I’ll let you hit me with that after I saw what it’s capable of?” Discord snaps his fingers and appears behind Gella. “I told you before; I can’t let you keep such a dangerous power”
Discord clasps both hands together and slams Gella on the back throwing her toward the ground.
Gella hits the ground and a cloud of dust rises. She quickly hops back to her hooves and lunches off the ground creating an even bigger dust cloud as she hurtles toward Discord.
Amused Discord braces’ himself for impact. Gella slams into him head first, while Discord use’s his hands to hold her head back and preventing her horn from stabbing him.
“I told you this fight would be one sided didn’t I?” Discord chuckles as he continues to hold on to Gellas head
Gellas horn begins to glow and a bubble beam pours forth covering Discords chest and one arm.
“You bitch! You wouldn’t dare set it off this close”
“Try me!” Gella flings her wings back and with a powerful thrust releases an ultra high frequency shock wave at Discord
“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” The bubbles on discords chest quickly implode in a super heated explosion. The pain causes him to let go of Gellas head before it could envelop her face. Unfortunately it wasn’t soon enough; the tip of Gellas horn had been melted away along with part of her mane.
Discord however was in a worse state, the flesh of his body had been burned away and only bones were left. Some bubbles that were left out of the chain reaction were still on his left forearm.
“Grrr, You Crazy bitch! Now I’ll have to spend some time to regenerate.”
“How are you still alive you monster?!” Derpy has a confused and disgusted look on her face at the sight of Discords torn up body
“Because I’m immortal, well if I sustain enough damage in a short amount of time I suppose I could die for awhile, but that won’t happen, not with your horn damaged like that. I doubt you’ll be able to make any more of your magic bubbles.”
Discord seemed to be right, with her horn damaged the pain on her head was excruciating, and she couldn’t concentrate to even do the smallest spell.
“I think it would be best if I take you out now” Discord pulls out two swords from behind his back, one in each hand and proceeds to rush at Gella.
Gella grits her teeth. This Bastard, how dare he. I don’t care even If he is immortal, I’ll still kick his ass! I still have my wings and my speed. I can still win this!
Discord swings his swords at Gella only to have her maneuver behind him. She flips her wings back and launches another ultra sonic sound wave at the remaining bubbles on Discords left arm.
“FFUUUAAAAAA!!” Screams Discord as he drops the sword in his left hand. “DAMNIT ALL, YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS INSOLANCE!”
Gella dashes down to catch the sword in her mouth.
“You think that sword will help you win?! BAWHAHAHA! I’ll let you keep it just so taking your power will make it all the sweeter for me” Discord rushes down to Gella on the ground.
Gella braces for the impact of Discord. Both their swords Clash in sparks and grunts. Discord begins to swing furiously only to be swiftly blocked by Gella’s swordplay.
I can win this, if I can focus long enough, maybe I’ll be able to get another bubble beam out.
Just as Gella thought she was getting the upper hand, she looks at Discords chest and realizes it’s no longer just bones, flesh has already begun forming again and the muscles were coming back. She realized with each passing second discords strikes were getting harder and harder to block.
“Whats the matter dear? Did you finally realize your folly?” Discord gets and evil grin and holds up the arm that had been blown up by Gella. “I told you I was immortal it’s almost back to normal now.”
This Monster! Why is he so strong! It isn’t fair! With a tear in her eye Gella's horn begins to glow.
“Just one more time! Come on!” Gella grunts as tears run down her face.
“I don’t think I can let you do that Gella Bubble” Discord rushes her and hits her on the head with the butt of his sword knocking her down into the dirt.
Gella lets out a grunt, disoriented from the strike to her temple. She drops the sword from her mouth.
“Now now Gella, I can’t just be letting you pass out like that. After all I want you to be awake for what I’m going to do next.” Discord reaches down with his fully regenerated left hand and grabs Gellas horn.
“First order of business it getting rid of this to prevent those annoying bubbles.” He lifts her up off the ground by her horn and with a powerful twist rips her horn out of her skull.
“GAAAAHHHHH” The intense pain of having her horn ripped from her head woke her up from the daze.
“Well it seems I took part of your skull with it. Hopefully I didn’t cause too much brain damage. I wouldn’t want you dying on me; now let’s stop all the bleeding.” Discord snaps his fingers and waves his hand over the hole on her head. It magically closes and the bleeding stops.
“Now to make this complete, I’m going to have to absorb part of your Alicorn powers. Leaving you as a plain pegasi,” Discord gets a grin on his face “that isnt able to die should be fine. Bawhahaha!”
Discord grabs the groggy pony by the head with his left hand, and with his right hand snaps his fingers. Gella’s size drops to that of a normal pegasi pony.
“That should do It. I left you a gift dear Gella. So that you may forever live in shame having been defeated by me.” Discord walks away from Gella as she lies in the dirt in next to the sword.
Gella awakes a few hours later with an extreme pain in her head.
“ugh, what happened…who am I ?” She looks around and sees a note on the floor next to her written in a strange hand. She has trouble reading at first because the letter seems to be in two places at once.
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Dear Derpy Hooves
Yes that is your name Derpy Hooves, seems fitting after what you tried to do, instead of letting you die I decided to let you live. The gift I have bestowed upon you is the gift of life. You shall live forever just as me.
Your friend Discord.
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“Wow this Discord fellow seems like a nice guy. But I wonder why my head hurts so much…
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Gella… or Derpy did indeed suffer brain damage after her horn had been so violently removed. She became blissfully unaware of how her past life had been and had forgotten her entire fight with discord. The only things she could remember is that she loved muffins and could make bubbles with her mouth. With her memory being bad, she didnt realize that as time went on she never aged and any friends she did make were forgotton shortly after they would die of old age.
Discord quickly forgot about Gella after she was no longer a threat. After Princess Celestia and Princess Luna seal him in stone the tale of Gella Bubbles, the only Pony to challange Discord before the princesses is forever lost in time.
