Where Life Has Value
By ChamomileTea
Chapter 1
Shed
Songbirds tweeted out morning salutations to all that could hear them, as sunlight slowly enveloped the rolling grasslands surrounding the quiet town. The dying embers of a bonfire cried out their last breaths as the tan pony watched the trails of smoke lazily float into obscurity. Double Helix hadn't slept a single second through the night, his mind wracked with negativity. He poked a stick into the makeshift pit, silencing its dwelling heat.
"Good morning, Mister Helix!" A familiar voice called out.
Helix broke his stare into the pit up to meet the greeting horse. Fluttershy was nearing his little camp, holding a modest basket in her mouth.
"Good morning to you, Miss Fluttershy. How has it been?"
She laid the basket on the opposite side of the pit.
"It's been just fine. I brought you something."
"You did? You didn't have to."
"I know I didn't."
Those sort of confident remarks have become more common as Helix got to know Fluttershy. As he had spent the past months in the town, the two ponies had become close friends. Whether it was by proxy or by similar interests, the mare and the stallion found themselves in cordial relations. Helix had never thought twice about their relationship becoming anything more than platonic, however. He had come to cherish the ideas of friendship since meeting with Fluttershy and the rest of the Six.
"Well, thank you, miss."
"You're welcome."
Helix got up to meet the mare and the basket, looking down at the covered contents. He lifted the plaid blanket to expose a tiny meal of fruit and tulip sandwiches.
"Goodness! You sure you don't want to split some of this with me?"
"I've already had breakfast."
Helix shook his head, chuckling. "It's like you don't want to give me a chance to be nice back."
"Of course not. I'm just giving you a friendly gesture." Fluttershy smiled.
Helix sighed, looking at the spread again and then back to his friend. "Thanks, again. You spoil me."
"Someone has to."
He shook his head once more, reaching with one arm to give her a tender hug. She returned his embrace with her own, giggling gently.
"I'll have to pay you back eventually."
"You can by having a decent day."
Helix broke the hug. "And the same to you."
"You could also pay me back by returning this basket later today, if you may be so kind."
Helix nods. "Sounds like a deal."
Fluttershy begins walking away. "See you then, Helix!"
"Until then."
Helix slumped by the basket, his mind beginning to race once again. He has felt like a burden since he came to the town. This has been a constant everywhere he's traveled, but the ponyfolk in this town have been selectively kind to him. He doesn't deserve this kindness. He's barely scraped by with the odd work he's found with various businesses in town, but he's never really settled down. Helix tears up as he looks to the rising sun, looking for answers.
**************************
Helix leisurely trotted into town, a basket hanging from the grip of his muzzle. He turned a corner to make his way towards Quills and Sofas. Moments later a filly riding a scooter zipped next to him, almost crashing into his side.
"Afternoon, Mister Helix!" Scootaloo blurted out.
The tan horse was initially shaken by the abrupt entry but caught himself once he realized it was the filly he had grown to respect. Helix and Scootaloo found themselves involuntarily connected by their relative childhoods, Helix growing up without parents just as she did. He had watched as the citizens of Ponyville supported her through her development and felt secure in knowing Scootaloo would grow up to be an ambitious Equestrian pegasus. His only disappointment is that he wishes he could've had the same when he was her age.
"Scootaloo! Looks like you've been having a productive day." Helix replied.
"Not really, just speeding through town. How has your day been?" Scootaloo pryed, pushing alongside him on her four-wheeled locomotive.
"It's been.... alright," Helix answered.
Helix didn't want too many people to find out about his leaving. He had grown to connect with many of the townsfolk due to their warm welcome and his kind acts toward those in need. Still, he hadn't found his purpose in this town, or anywhere for that matter.
"What's with the basket? Doing some deliveries?" Scootaloo nosily questioned once more.
"Nope, just returning it to Fluttershy."
"Fluttershy gave you another gift? She must really like you."
Scootaloo ended her sentence with a teasing tone, expectantly awaiting a certain reply from the stallion. Helix responded with a dismissive head shake.
"I'm sure she's just being a kind neighbor. I tend to frequent nearby her place anyways."
"Sure. And I can fly."
"You will eventually! You're just proving my point."
Helix rustled the top of the filly's helmet playfully, messing up her hair.
"But why are you heading into town? She lives right next to you."
"I thought that I should get her something as well."
Though Helix didn't have much, he knew that he had enough to return Fluttershy's gift with one final gift of his own. He had scrounged up bits to afford her a humble straw hat, which could help keep the sun out of her eyes. Summer was approaching fast, and he knew that their friendship could be remembered by a thoughtful gift. Helix was heading to Quills and Sofas for a different reason, however.
"A ring?" Scootaloo egged on once more, cheekily smiling.
Helix rolled his eyes as he inhaled sharply through his nostrils. "I'll need to grab earplugs soon enough if you continue."
Scootaloo giggled, and at once left as quickly as she arrived. "Later, Helix!"
The tan stallion waved to the filly, turning to face the aforementioned store as he approached it. He entered with a resounding chime following him.
"Mister Double Helix! It has been too long."
Davenport, the owner of Quills and Sofas, greeted Helix energetically. Helix had done some menial labor here and there for the eccentric stallion, and they had shared some decent memories as well. Helix laid the basket to the side.
"Good afternoon, Mister Davenport! Nice to meet you once again. How has business been?"
The brown stallion motioned towards his array of different styles of furniture and writing utensils.
"Well, I've been well-stocked for a bit. Customers are slowing down, sadly."
"Here's hoping that it doesn't last."
The owner nodded to the old acquaintance's good wishes. "So, how may I be of assistance?"
Helix's lips curled in anxiety, as he chewed at the inside of them gently. "Would you be able to help me with a dictation? I don't believe my writing would be too good for such a matter."
"Certainly." The brown stallion answered, preparing some ink and paper, "Who is the lucky recipient?"
Helix smiled through the pain, as he answered.
"Miss Fluttershy."
Davenport's eyebrows raised playfully. "Oh, Miss Fluttershy! I'm sure she'll love it."
The tan pony withheld a wince to the remark. The two shared a mutual nod, showing that they were well prepared.
"Okay..." Helix began.
To Ms. Fluttershy
As I have grown to know you, as well as many others in Ponyville, I've been pleased to admit that it has been an enriching experience. I have shared laughter, compassion, and celebration with everyone since I first came here many months ago. Thank you all for exposing me to the beauties of a thriving community.
I am sorry to say, however, that this is goodbye. As much as I am grateful for the generosity and kind intentions of you all, I am also noticing that I still do not know who it is that I want to be. I have explored the lands of Equestria since I came into adulthood, and I have yet to find myself. I haven't found a place where I can safely say I'm home.
Despite this, I wish that you and all of Ponyville may have a wonderful time as you have before I first arrived. Our memories will hold us together, even if I am not present anymore.
Best Regards,
Double Helix
As Helix opened his eyes, Davenport was staring at him with immense concern.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked, almost pleading for the tan pony to change his mind.
Double Helix nodded bravely, withholding his inner sorrow. The owner brought the paper around the counter, laying it carefully in the basket.
"I believe this one will require no payment. Good luck, Helix."
Davenport walked through a door to the back of the store, shutting it behind him. Helix's face burned with a contorted mix of negative feelings as he felt the burden of abandonment already seep through his guilt. He left the store, the same chime following him out the entrance.
**************************
Helix felt as if the atmosphere of the town had changed to a more empty and almost foreboding place. He advanced towards the Cottage he grew to feel welcome around with a feeling of mild anxiety. Evening sunlight peered through the canopy of the surrounding trees, lighting up spots of the path up to Fluttershy's home. Helix silently approached the door, his mind racing as to what events should precipitate this moment. He carefully laid the basket down. His sullen eyes closed as he sighed, tearing up once again.
"Is that you, Helix?" Fluttershy called out from the end of the stone path to her house.
Double Helix jolted from the sudden voice, her approach unintentionally masked by the wind rustling through the leaves. The stallion hesitated before answering.
"That it is." He responded soberly.
Fluttershy ascended her house's path with ease, nearing Helix in no time.
"You returned the basket! How kind of you." She said gratefully.
"It was my duty for the day..."
Fluttershy noticed the contents, peering in towards the basket to get a better examination.
"Is that a straw hat?"
"Yes. I thought I'd return the favor. It is getting near the warmer seasons."
"You shouldn't have! This must've cost you a decent amount."
Helix stared into the ground distantly. "It was worth it."
She lifted the hat, stopping herself from putting it on once she noticed the letter under it. Helix's anxiety drew his heartbeat higher, as she leaned in to pick it up.
"A note as well? You've outdone yourself."
Helix dryly swallowed. "I wouldn't say exactly that. I was hoping to be gone by the time you read it."
Fluttershy's gaze turned towards Helix's in an almost threatened manner. His words drew concern in her demeanor. Helix felt as if he wanted to run, but he knew that that would be cowardice at this point. He stood shakily as she continued reading the letter. Her face turned to pain, and soon after Helix teared up. It's as if he could see her heart breaking at select words. The two teared up almost simultaneously. Fluttershy took in a wincing breath whilst she laid the letter back in the basket.
"Why do you need to leave? I thought you were learning a lot here." Her voice shakily asked.
"I have learned a lot. I just can't find how it applies to me." He replied, meeting her eyes through tears.
"There are many ways... You've helped out a lot of people since coming here."
"I have, but I don't know what to do with myself. I don't even have a home here."
"Sure you do. Look next to you."
Helix followed her words, turning to the Cottage. He steeled his gaze, as if to look through it.
"This is your house, Fluttershy."
"And it is yours as well if you would ask!"
Fluttershy's shift in volume caught Helix off guard. They locked eyes for a quick moment, looking for the answers that they wanted in each other's eyes. Their silence was only broken by the wind chimes clanking together by the element they were designed to receive. Helix soon realized what the mare meant.
"I had no idea-"
"I love you, Helix."
Once more, Fluttershy had silenced the tan stallion.
"I have loved you since we first met. I knew you were different, because you actually cared. I....."
Fluttershy held her voice, halting herself to keep what little composure there was.
"I thought you felt the same."
The yellow mare closed her eyes, blinking out her tears. She turns to enter her home, surmising that she had said all she needed to say. She didn't even take the basket inside.
"Fluttershy," Helix called out.
She didn't respond. The only response was a gentle shut of her front door. Double Helix was frustrated at the lack of a chance to explain but soon accepted that he probably said enough with his note. His face became awash with a fiery mix of negative emotions as he made his way down the familiar path.
**************************
Double Helix soon found himself passing by the bonfire he had made the night before. He paused to recount how this morning had played out, and where it had fallen out so poorly. A groan oozed out of him as guilt and sorrow consumed him. He agonizingly whined out, gasping for air. Tears coated his hoofs as he tried to desperately rub his emotions away. To no avail, the tan stallion fell on his side in emotional pain. He physically retched as he intensely purged his feelings out into the open air. Soon, his voice grew hoarse at the stress his cries put on it. Minutes passed, and he surrendered to his sorrow, letting it pass. He gained his wits and stood up, beginning the practice he had so fondly despised. He found himself walking a path alongside the Everfree Forest, eastward into the unknown.
End of Chapter 1
