Of swords, sheep, and diamond wolves.
(There are a loud series of loud drum beats that cause the title to sound magnificent.)
The Quest... for the sword.
Luna sat there in her big comfy chair in her game room staring at the screen of a large computer. The room was dark and a blanket caressed her body as she played Ponycraft. To her, Ponycraft was the best things she had found, because you could do anything. Well almost, but hey, that's what mods are for, right?
Luna watched intently as her Ponycraft character went throughout her magnificent house made of iron and green wool. Why green? (Why not!) It was her house, and she wanted it to be cool and if there is one thing she didn't want her house to be, it was laaame.
Her avatar climbed down a series of stairs in her wonderful house before coming down to the bottom, where she had her storage room. It was a long blocky room with no circles, because this is Ponycraft, and if circles existed, there would be some kind of paradox or something. Luna knew this, and tried to avoid mods that might contain circles.
"Let's see..." she said quietly to herself. She looked through every chest and admired her vast collection of items. Swords, arrows, pickaxes, and the little cat puma things filled each chest. After she got done looking through her chests, she went up stairs of her house where she could see the whole of her world. She had put a good 1000 hours into the world she started in. Railways and statues of giant pie covered the land.
She smiled to herself as she admired the world she had made. "I love this game... and to think we have finally beat it, we have seen it all and done it all. Think well of yourself Luna, you’ve earned it."
Celestia creaked the door open behind Luna and peeked into her sisters room. "Siiiiiister!" she called out in a sing-song manner.
She turned around in surprise and exclaimed, using the Royal Canterlot Voice, "WHAT IS IT? CAN'T YOU SEE WE ARE ADMIRING OUR KINGDOM OF AWESOME!"
Celestia's mane was a little blown back from her sister’s usage of the old speaking volume. She rubbed her sore ears for a second before answering her sister. "Yes, well that's nice Luna, but you need to come downstairs and eat. You've been up here for ten hours now."
"WE MUST WATCH OUR KINGDOM SOME MORE! FEASTING SHALL WAIT TILL LATER!"
She rolled her eyes at her. "Fine, but just know that you can't stay up here forever." With that Celestia closed the door behind her.
Luna went back to her game and watched the many derpish sheep run around in her courtyard below. She then suddenly had the thought that she hadn't done everything, "Let us see if we have done anything." She said looking at her completion mod which showed her all the things she had made.
Hundreds of items with check marks next to them were displayed on the screen. And after skimming through it her eyes caught one thing that didn't have a check mark next to it. Her eyes widened and she pushed her face to the screen. "WHAT IS THIS!!!!???"
It was a diamond sword, and it didn't have a check mark next to it. "A sword???" She cried.
She was baffled that out of all the things she had done, she hadn't made a simple little sword. "W-what? But h-how!"
Suddenly the face of a derpish sheep popped up on the screen. "Greetings Luna." Said the sheep like voice.
She was taken back at the sudden picture of the derping sheep on the screen. "Who are you? And what do you want, sheep with derped eyes?"
"I want a shrubbery."
She raised an eyebrow at it. "A what?"
"Cut down a tree with a fish."
"No!"
"Aw, I wanted to see if it worked... you are just as smart as they say you are Luna."
"What do you want, sheep? Speak!"
"I want to stop you."
"Stop me from what?"
"Finishing the game."
At this point things were getting a little too weird, but this was a little exciting, and dinner was in a way boring so this came first. "Ha! Silly sheep! All I need to finish the game is to craft sword of diamonds! I'll go to my diamond chest and make one right now!"
"Alright... but be warned, I won't let you win so easily." After that, his/her/its face was gone.
Luna stretched real quick in her chair and got her game face on. Her avatar bolted down to the storage room and looked through her mineral chest. Her rather enthusiastic look died instantly when she saw that she had no more diamonds. "WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!" she screamed.
The sheeps face appeared in the corner of the scene. "Haha! Silly princess I have stolen your diamonds and the only ones left are the ones in the ground! But you have already mined most of them... so yeah.... Happy hunting!" With that the sheeps face disappeared.
In anger she traveled down into the basement of her house where the ladder taking her to her mine was. A mining gear was inside a small chest next to the entrance into the mines. She only grabbed the basics, three stacks of 64 water melon, three stacks of dirt, and a diamond Pickaxe.
After she had assembled her gear she started to descend into the mines. She jumped up in her chair and posed heroically. "I, LUNA, PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT WILL COMPLETE THIS GAME! AND NO DERP SHEEP WILL STOP ME!"
Her avatar went down farther and farther for almost a full two minutes before hitting the bottom. Caves branched off into all directions and echoes from the caves echoed, because if they didn't echo then what would they do? Say hello? I mean really think about that for a moment, if a cave talked, now that would be cool.
She looked through her mine, from high to low. From high again, to low once more. But there was no sign of diamonds. She had started to lose hope that she would find any diamonds in these mines.
Luna sighed. "I guess we were never destined to beat this game after all..."
"Why are you so sad?" called a voice from behind her avatar.
She looked behind her and there sitting idle was a white wolf. "A wolf?"
The wolf got up from its sitting position. "Yes, my name is Echo, I'm a Diamond Wolf."
She looked at the dog in the game oddly. "And what do you want Diamond Wolf? Want to mark us and our failure?"
It shook its head. "No silly, I want to help you! That sheep took my sweet roll and I want to get revenge on it!"
"I see." Luna said to the screen. For some reason she didn't find it weird to talk to a virtual wolf in a game. "How do you plan to help us?"
"Who's us? I thought there was only you?"
"Never mind wolf, now what is it thou has planned?" she asked.
"I can track down diamonds, because... well because I am a diamond wolf. I wouldn't be a very good diamond wolf if I didn't know how to track diamonds."
"Indeed." Luna said in agreement.
So she followed Echo down the many caverns and tunnels that stretched through the underworld. She past great lava fields, evil gophers, and a troll that wanted a shrubbery much like the sheep had wanted earlier. But after all that, they had finally arrived at a vast underground cavern.
In the center was a castle, an evil castle that had a moat of lava surrounding it. "Oh sweet buns of hot burning lemons! Look at that place! Is this where the derp sheep lives?" Luna said marveling at the castle.
The wolf nodded, "Yes, and the sheep inside has the only two diamonds left in the world in there. And mah sweet roll!... minus the ones in the ground too..."
She nodded at him and turned the chat box on, and typed in a command to fly. The wolf looked at her oddly, "What are you doing? Aren't we going to storm the castle with epic music and stuff like in Lord of the Bracelet?"
"Umm, no... I was just going to go over the wall and fly into the main chamber of the castle... you know, it will be easier that way."
"...Yeah that makes a lot more sense." The wolf stated before hopping on her back.
"I, LUNA, PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT SHALL BE VICTORIOUS THIS DAY!" Luna shouted and flew off.
"SWEEEEEET ROOOOLLL!" The wolf cried out as they flew into the castle.
They both busted through the glass ceiling above the main chamber of the castle and saw the derp sheep sitting there on a throne. Luna landed in the middle of the room and looked at the sheep with the eyes pointing in different directions. "Sheep! Give me the diamonds and this wolf’s sweet roll and you shall be spared my wrath!"
"Haha!" The sheep laughed evilly. "You'll never have the diamonds to make the sword! I have foreseen it... Kind of!"
Luna got out her pickaxe, and with the wolf at her side they both charged at the sheep. Now scared, the sheep started throwing exploding eggs at them. Luna and Echo dodged the egg bombs as the sheep stood there in a panic throwing the eggs.
"Suck egg, Luna!" The sheep yelled.
"Never!" Luna cried as she went up to the throne and hit the sheep with the pickaxe. It flashed red and caught on fire, "Noooooooooo, not like this! You.... must not.... win.... I have to take a few seconds to die to make it look slightly more dramatic than it actually is, but who cares!!!!" Then... he died.
There were his once living body was, was a sweet roll and two diamonds. The wolf went over to his sweet roll and picked it up. "Yay! Now I can eat it at last! Thank you Luna."
Luna smiled at the wolf on the screen. "It was my duty as princess to help, but without you I would have never found these diamonds."
"Yeah, I am awesome," the wolf boasted.
"I guess, this is goodbye then."
Echo nodded. "Yes, have fun with your sword!" The wolf then took off down one of the many hallways in the castle.
"Goodbye, wolf... may we meet again..."
Luna flew up and made her way to the tunnel she came from, and after traveling all the way back she had finally made it back to the mines she owned. Once she found one of the many crafting tables she had in her mines she took both diamonds and a stick and made.... pause for dramatic effect....
A DIAMOND SWORD! She held it in the air victoriously as cheerful music played as it floated around, "You got the diamond sword, and it's cool!"
She held it in her avatars hooves and drooled at the mere sight of it. "Now..." she said, "time to test it out..."
Across from her was a zombie just standing there derping around. "Ha! Zombie, with our new diamond sword, you shall be vanquished!" She shouted to the zombie.
But it just stood there derping not really paying attention to her. "Hyyaaaaaaaaaa!!!" She yelled charging at the thing at full force.
Once she had got to the zombie, she had taken a few large swipes at the undead mob and just a she sprinted up to it to deliver the final blow she ran right off the edge of a cliff in the cave. She had missed the zombie and landed in a pool of lava. Then after a few seconds she spawned right back in her room of her house.
She gently put the blanket on her down and turned the chair around calmly. “You know... dinner doesn’t sound half bad right about now...”
Luna then left her room and went downstairs to join her sister. The next morning, and all throughout the night, a pony called Nightmare Moon attacked Equestria.
The end.
(This, as you guessed was not to be taken seriously. At all. I just wrote it because I thought it was a fun little idea.)
Proofread by:
Myself.
LyonAzakura.
Spark of Inspiration.
