The Power Ponies: Ken Tucky robs Maretropolisby Stalin with Da SpoonChapters1: Ken Tucky loves to Rob2: Ken Tucky in a New World3: Ken Tucky robs Sneaky Style1: Ken Tucky loves to Rob 'My name is Ken Tucky.' "Your doing good, Jerry!" 'No relation to the state.' "Just keep that gun on em." 'My boys and I rob gas stations.' The cashier slowly lifted a bag full of cash onto the counter, before raising his hands back into the air. "I swear there is no more money!" The cashier said in a panic, staring down the barrel of a M1911 pistol held by a masked man, wearing heavy duty grey combat armor all across his body, plates of bulletproof kevlar covering all the way from his shins, to his knees, complete with combat gloves and boots. Jerry then spoke through his mask, surprisingly clearly. "Thanks a lot for being so fucking compliant." And with a singular bang, the cashier fell to the floor with a sizable bullet hole in his head. Meanwhile, Dan bent down at a vending machine as a can of 'Sprunk' fell down into the slot, as he slowly pulled said can out. "Wa-ha-hey!" Cue him cracking it open, as it began to fizz loudly with green bubbles foaming out of the top, causing Dan to scream in surprise and confusion. Meanwhile, Ken tucky was speaking to Jerry. "Woah Jerry, you're not supposed to shoot em! Fingle!" As Ken Tucky walked out of the gas station, a man covered entirely in chrome could be seen talking to an ATM in a monotone robotic sounding voice... Flirtatiously. "Ever since I entered this store, I haven't been able to take my eyes off you, when do you get off work?" Surprisingly, the ATM spoke back. "Stop it, your making me blush." Outside, Ken tucky slowly approached a pink and teal van, not blue, it's teal, get it right, car with massive monster truck tires as wheels, as Ken spoke to the driver, who currently had his head leaned forward, snoring loudly. "Fingle, Jerry shot another gas station dude- Oh hell, Fingle, are you sleeping or did Satan finally take you?" A crash rang out as Dan rummaged through some snacks, meanwhile Jerry was currently beating the dead cashier with a bat. "Damn, what did you do?" "Yeah, I think he's still alive, I gotta put him out of his misery." "Jerry, he's been dead, stop it!" "Yeah, I see his chest moving." Jerry said continuing to beat the not so dead cashier even deader while Dan continued to break random shit on the shelves. "Can we go to the next gas station already, you can't keep messing around in there!" "Yeah, I think he's ok, I think he's alive." Meanwhile, Fingle woke up with a loud shout, quickly shaking away his sleep as he turned the ignition key while the rest of the crew exited the gas station, climbing inside the car, with Ken tucky blocking Dan from riding shotgun. "Nuh uh, im getting front. Robot, I dunno what your gonna do, there's only four seats." Cue Robot shrugging as he decided to improvise, as he walked to the back of the car, popped the trunk, and sat down in the back compartment, securing himself with his own seatbelt and closing the trunk door as the car sped away. "Y'know, I wanna get more creative when we rob gas stations, what if we stole a cop car, and fuckin, impersonated a cop? And we come up all in there like 'Hands up'-" As Ken tucky's voice trailed off as the vehicle sped away, a lone figure cloaked in a dark suit wearing a black mash watched on. As the Fingle Mobile sped down the highway, police sirens began to ring out behind them, as Robot yelled out. "Cops!" Dan and Jerry both looked back from their rear seats, confirming Robot's warning, as Jerry quickly lowered his window and pointed his pistol out the window, taking shots at the approaching cop cars. "Eat this, ya copers!" As all of his shots missed, Ken turned to Fingle. "Cmon Fingle, you gotta step on it, my shit aim ain't doin' nothing!" "I'm goin as fast as the old girl will go! Even with the upgrades she's still slow!" Meanwhile, Robot pulled out a damn assault rifle, opened the back window of the vehicle, and fired off, several of his bullets hitting the tires on the police cars, resulting in one car overturning and causing a mass collision as the cars rammed into each other and smoke filled the air as the road was blocked, halting the rest of the pursuing cars from going forward as an angry police sergeant expressed his rage. "DAMN IT!" "Nice one, Robot!" Jerry shouted with enthusiasm for his partner, who simply gave a chrome thumbs up. As the Fingle Mobile rapidly drove down the highway, evading pedestrians and cops alike, Fingle soon saw a police blockade up ahead, as Ken tucky provided some advice. "Hows about we go do a little bit of off roading boys?" Fingle and the rest of the crew nodded, as the vehicle took a sharp turn to the left, as it began to rapidly climb up the side of a mountain, a few police vehicles broke off from the road block to continue giving chase, as a police helicopter watched overhead. "What are you doing, stay on em!" "Listen man, I'm the one driving this damn thing, I got it!" "And you said you went to helicopter school!" "I told you, I didn't go to fuckin' school!" As the two helicopter pilots argued, the Fingle Mobile was rapidly approaching the very peak of the mountain, that is until a familiar figure covered in a black jump suit wearing a dark motorcycle mask stood in their path. "Remember me?" "FUCK, IT'S THE FUCKIN MASK GUY! RUN EM OVER!" Ken yelled out, as Fingle gassed it all the way, speeding towards the masked man, as they jumped onto the hood of the car and aimed a pistol at Ken. "We got un-finished business, Ken tucky! You still haven't paid my bill!" "Oh you can fuck right off- CLIFF!" "What, my name isn't Cliff, it's-" "NO, LOOK, CLIFF!" Ken said pointing to the road, or rather the rapidly approaching end of it leading to the edge of the ridge, as everyone in the vehicle, including the man on the hood, began to scream like little girls, with Fingle failing to fully stop the vehicle before it flew off the side of the mountain, sailing through the air with Jerry and Dan holding each other as Ken and Fingle screamed like mad men, the masked figure losing his grip as he flew over the roof of the Fingle Mobile, before grabbing onto the very back of it as the vehicle took a nose dive. "If were gonna die, I just wanna let you know, I love you all!" Dan said, as the vehicle was about to collide with the ground. And yet... it didn't. The vehicle vanished in a burst of bright white light, blinding the still arguing helicopter pilots as they shielded their eyes who were directly above the vehicle when it went flying off the cliff. "What the fuck was that?" "I dunno, but they're gone! They vanished!" "Yeah, I fuckin' noticed Captain obvious!" "Well, sorry for trying to be helpful!" "Just shut up and radio HQ, just tell em they got away... I think." The co-pilot nodded before tuning the radio while the cop cars on the road barely managed to stop themselves from soaring off and meeting the same fate as the criminals. The radio buzzed to life as he passed it to the pilot and let them speak into it. "Yeah, yeah we lost em." It was a peaceful day in the large bustling city of Maretropolis, as everypony made their way to their day jobs, driving around the daily commute, having your typical traffic accidents, cars falling out of the sky, the usual. Well... Except that last one. As the Fingle Mobile plummeted from the sky, still full of screaming men, the masked man lost his grip, as he fell onto the roof of a tall skyscraper, surprisingly taking minimal damage besides some bruising and a couple broken ribs as they watched the Fingle Mobile continued to plummet, with everyone inside holding on for dear life, waiting for their imminent demise as the ground came up to greet them. However, before they could hit the ground, the vehicle suddenly... Stopped. In mid-air, as a feminine voice spoke out. "Hang on, I gotcha!" Everyone inside the vehicle looked out to see a strange sight indeed. A tall woman, covered in light blue fur, with a long rainbow mane, and wide white feathered wings, currently flapping rapidly. The unknown savior was dressed in what appeared to be some sort of superhero costume, with a sleek black latex suit covering her body, certain parts covered in silver coursing with what appeared to be electricity, and some sort of helmet covering her head all except for her rainbow mane and face, which had a long muzzle and a big smile on her face as she held the Fingle Mobile with one hand. "Zapp, local power pony superhero at your service!" Of course, everybody was speechless, except Ken Tucky, who voiced what practically everyone was thinking at the moment. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!" 2: Ken Tucky in a New World The Bitches had several things going through minds at once. Ken was currently dumb founded that some sort of pony woman with wings had somehow saved their lives, Jerry was currently wondering how the fuck this person was strong enough to both lift the Fingle Mobile with a single arm and fly high in the air, without even breaking a sweat, while Dan was currently not even focusing on the situation, just literally pissing himself from his near death experience, and Fingle was grateful to their unknown savior for saving his baby, by that I mean his car, and Robot, well, he was actually knocked out by the force of Zapp suddenly grabbing the vehicle and halting it's descent, causing him to slam into the back of the car seat due to not wearing his seat belt. Meanwhile, Zapp had several questions, but she knew she had better set these guys down before she started asking, as she slowly lowered herself out of the air, carefully holding the vehicle until they reached the ground, slowly letting it down and releasing it, as it dropped with a small thud, as she touched down on the ground, as Ken Tucky and the gang dismounted from the vehicle, Robot still in the trunk, as Fingle was the first to speak. "Oh thank you, thank you for saving my baby! After losing the first Fingle mobile I couldn't bear to watch the second be destroyed! So yes, thank you very much, dear, I shall never forget this." Zapp lightly chuckled, appreciating the man's thanks. "Your welcome, mister..." "You can call him Fingle, he's our driver." Ken spoke up, grabbing Zapp's attention, as he pointed to himself. "Names Ken Tucky, no relation to the state." Ken then pointed to the heavily armored Jerry Jones. "That's Jerry." "Sup." Ken then pointed to Dan. "That's Dan." "Ayo." "And the guy in the trunk is Robot." Zapp slowly nodded, taking in this info, before asking an important question. "So uhhhhh... What exactly are you guys?" "Oh, were what you call humans." "Hyu-mans?" "No, humans, no emphasis on the hu. And what in the hell are you?" "Oh, I'm a pegasus, or more specifically, the coolest pegasi weather superhero of all time!" Zapp said striking a dramatic pose as lightning struck behind her dramatically, earning a couple claps accompanied by oohs and aahs from Dan, Fingle, and Jerry, as Ken stepped back in surprise. "Oh shit, you got lightning powers!" "Yep, I'm one of the power ponies, the protectors of Maretropolis!" "Holy shit, it's like were in a fuckin comic book- Wait, Maretropolis, bruh, that's a stupid pun." "Yeah, blame the city council, there a real bag of laughs." Zapp said with a groan, as she shrugged her arms. "Well, can you tell me where you came from?" "Oh, we came from the city of Los Santos, big ol city. Dunno exactly how we got here, one second we were falling off a cliff, the next we were falling from the sky, real trippy shit." Dan proceeded to chime in. "Yeah, more trippy than that time I ate some peyote and turned into a zebra." Zapp had a pretty surprised look on her face as Dan said this, confused how this 'Peyote' could transform someone into a zebra. "I see... Well, I oughta talk to my friends about this, but if you want a place to stay, there's a hotel not too far, it's quite cheap, only costs a few bits for a room." Cue Ken slowly nodding, before hearing the word 'Bits'. "The fuck are bits?" "Oh, there our currency, what do you humans have?" Fingle happily answered. "We got dollar bills and coins back home, speaking of which, how will we get home?" Jerry nodded, understanding Fingle's concern as he spoke up. "We can figure that out later, Fingle. Anyways, thanks for the rescue." Zapp saluted, before her wings expanded and she burst into the air with crackling thunder before vanishing into the clouds. "Damn, thats cool." "So what's next, Ken?" Dan asked as he turned to the leader of the gang, with everyone else turning as well, waiting for a response. "Well, like Zapp said, we should probably get a hotel room, or... We can find a new hideout. And then we get back to doing what we do best." "Heck yeah, baby." "Yeah ha hah!" "Man, I'm hard, dude. But wait, this cities got superheros, how the heck are we gonna deal with that?" Fingle asked Ken, concerned that their heists may be thwarted. "We simply gotta be more sneaky, more covert, mission impossible style, catch my drift?" Fingle nodded, understanding Ken. "Alright everybody, let's load up!" The gang quickly got into their seats of the Fingle mobile, climbing inside and buckiling up as the engine started up, and the vehicle quickly sped down the busy streets of Maretropolis, off to hunt for a brand new hideout. Meanwhile, at the Power Ponies Secret Headquarters! Zapp soared overhead of the secret headquarters, built into the side of mount Maremore, as she hovered over the concealed mountain top entrance, as the top of the mountain slowly split open, revealing the entrance hatch slowly creaked open, and she slowly hovered inside, it sealing behind her as she dusted herself off and folded her wings, before quickly walking into the central room of the base, seeing her fellow power ponies, waving to them with a smile on her face. "Hey gals and guy, how is everyone?" Cue Fili-second, being the fastest one in the room, responding first, as the white suited pink maned speedster quickly leaped in front of Zapp and spoke rapidly, but luckily Zapp was so used to her fast talking that she could actually understand her. "Oh, it was so fun, me and Radiance were fighting some crooks mugging a poor woman in an alleyway, then this HUGE explosion rang out and we entered a chase with this van full of big grunts, and Radiance created a big giant traffic cone and I slammed it in front of him, it was so cool, anyways we brought them to justice, so yeah, fun day!" Cue Zapp quickly processing the info, slowly nodding and chuckiling. "Yeah, that does sound exciting." Cue Radiance, wearing her typical tight purple suit lightly chucking, as she lightly tossed her purple mane. "Indeed, darling, I haven't had such excitement since our last duel with the Mane-iac, although those armed crooks did cause a bit more damage than I expected, luckily Matter-Horn and Mare-velous here was around to help clean the mess up." She said gesturing to her purple suited and horned comrade, slowly nodding. "Yeah, took a lot of fixing, and some heavy duty lifting, but we did it." "Ah, cmon now Matter-horn, wadn't that bad, ah reckon it was easier than last time we had damage control." "Oh, don't remind me, that slime took HOURS to clean!" The yellow furred, pink maned Saddle rager grimaced at the memory of the slime incident. "Yes, it took me several days to get the stink and slime out of my suit... I wish I hadn't charged head first into the monster's mouth like that..." Hum Drum, the draconic side kick of the team, decided to chime in. "Yeah, but how else were we gonna get my bomb into it's stomach? We had to blow it sky high somehow!" Everyone nodded in agreement, understanding that battle was quite the close call, when Zapp decided to voice her experience. "Well, not to brag, but I saved a van full of aliens from another world from being pancaked!" Cue everyone giving her a strange look, as Matter-horn entered her inquisitive mode. "Aliens, you say? What were they like, were they bipedal, did they speak our language, what did they look like?" "Well, one, they called themselves humans, and were on two legs, two, yes, they spoke our language, dunno how but they did, and three, one of them wore flip flops with socks, pants with tape on them for some reason, slicked back hair, and a plain white T shirt. Another guy wore this big armored suit, another a plain red hoodie and a long beard, and the final one wore this sun hat and some old geezer clothes." Cue Matter-horn teleporting in a paper and pen, rapidly jotting down notes, and making a sketch of said humans, as she presented it to Zapp. "Is this them?" It was almost an exact replica, as she nodded. "Yep, that's them." "Fascinating..." "Well, ah reckon we oughta go and meet these space aliens later, cause what else we got to do?" Everyone nodded in agreement, as Hum Drum spoke dramatically. "To the Power Plane!" Back to the Bitches... The Fingle mobile slowly drove down the roads of Maretropolis docks as the sun slowly set below the waves, seeking a brand new hideout, as everyone looked out their windows, scanning the many buildings as they drove by. "Okay, look out for any buildings that look abandoned and worn down, they least expect the abandoned places." "Dude, the abandoned places are where they check the most." Fingle said as he voiced his conern, only to earn a quick smack to the jaw by Ken. "Shut up, Fingle, ya dunno shit. Wait, look over there!" Ken said as he pointed out of his window, the gang turning to look at where he was pointing to see a large warehouse, it's windows broken and cracked, spider webs everywhere and the door wide open. It was perfect. "Bingo bango boys, take us inside!" And with that, the Fingle mobile entered the new hideout of the Bitches. 3: Ken Tucky robs Sneaky Style The Bitches Brand New Top Secret Hideout As the Fingle Mobile slowly pulled into the desolate warehouse, it became clear how shit it was. Cobwebs everywhere, dust out the wazoo, old boxes of junk and scrap, piles of rat shit, broken glass, and oh mother of god, the smell! To anyone else, it would be a horrible place to set up shop, but to the Bitches... It was perfect. And as he looked around and took in both the smell and the sights, Ken grew a wide smile. "Smells a bit shit, but eh, we got some air fresheners in the back, should fix the problem. Alright boys, let's get to work!" The gang proceeded to all pile out of the Mobile, and got to work. Ken pulled out a broom and began to sweep the rat turd and broken glass, while Jerry grabbed junk boxes and sorted through them, taking out anything valuable before tossing them outside. Fingle got out a can of Fee-breeze and sprayed it into the air, putting up a couple air freshener trees for good measure, as the bad smell slowly dissipated. Dan used a duster to cleanse the buildings of cob webs and dust in the hard to reach places, while Robot used a vacuum to clean up the floor of the building. Then, they noticed there was a second floor, as they set to cleaning it too. There was more junk to sort out, more rat shit, and a big ol rat nest, which Jerry cleaned out with a good ol 1911. Soon, the building was fully cleaned out and the stench was eradicated, as the gang admired their work. "It looks great, gang." Ken said in confidence. "Yeah, but we don't got anything to put in here. Heck, we don't even got a damn door!" Jerry said in frustration. "You have a good point, Jerry, were gonna need to acquire some funding so we can buy stuff to spruce up the place." It was then Fingle had a genius idea. "Why don't we go hit a gas station?" "Genius idea Fingle, that's why your on this team, Robot, you stay here and guard the hideout, and maybe put up some blinds up on those windows, don't want anyone peeping in." Robot saluted while the rest of the gang piled into the Fingle Mobile as it pulled out of the warehouse and back onto the harbor road, as the sun was now fully down, and they slowly drove out of the harbor and into the busy nighttime streets of Maretropolis. "We gonna get the mad bucks!" Dan yelled out triumphantly. "Actually, as that nice superhero lady said, Dan, the currency here is bits, so the term would be 'Were gonna get mad bits'." Fingle said as he corrected Dan. "Ahh, that makes sense." Meanwhile, high above the city on top of one of the tall skyscrapers, a lone man stood, cloaked in his black jumpsuit and mask, as he looked down upon the city. Suddenly, the roar of jet engines surprised him, as he ducked down to see a large jet fly right by him. "Who in the bloody hell...?" The jet was completely jet black, obviously meant to be a stealth craft, as it slowly flew overhead, before coming to a stop, as its jet engines pointed downwards in VTOL mode, as it slowly descended onto the roof of one of the nearby skyscrapers, as the masked man watched from out of sight. Out of the jet emerged a small group of around seven figures, each dressed rather eccentrically, as the masked figure narrowed his gaze and watched in intrigue. "Ah gotta say, that jet of yours is pretty neat, Humdrum." Mistress Mare-velous said, looking to her draconic teammate. "Hey, Matter horn and Zapp helped design it too, I just designed the electronics!" Cue Zapp striking a boastful grin, while Matter horn, while still proud, concealed it more, as she simply smiled at Hum Drum. "Still wouldn't be possible without you. Now then, let's see where these 'humans' are..." Matter horn then used her super sight to scan the streets below, before asking Zapp for a description of the vehicle. "So what did their car look like?" "Well, it looked like a big van with monster truck wheels and was painted pink and... Teal?" Meanwhile, Fingle felt a tremendous amount of satisfaction flow through him, as he sensed that someone finally got his car's description right. After a few seconds of looking, Matter horn quickly locked onto the vehicle in question. "I see em, and wow, that is a weird looking vehicle..." "Told ya so." Cue Fili-Second also caught sight of the strange vehicle, as she began to rapidly rub her hands together in excitement. "Oh boy, this is so exciting, we're gonna meet some aliens!" Cue Radiance lightly giggling a bit. "Here's hoping they don't go abducting and probing us." Saddle Rager just face-palmed. "Pretty sure they aren't those kinds of aliens... It looks like there going to that gas station." Saddle said, as she pointed to the Fingle Mobile, which was now parked in front of a small gas station, as the Bitches now dis-embarked. "I call dibs on first contact with the weird aliens!" Cue Fili-second zipping away, as Matter horn appeared defeated. "Dang it, I wanted to be the one to perform first contact, I had a whole bunch of questions!" Zapp just simply chuckled to herself. "Alright, let's scope this place out, Fingle, stay in the car. Jerry, scope out the back. Dan, with me, we goin' in front." Everyone nodded, as Jerry sneakily made his way behind the station, at least as sneaky as his body armor allowed. As Ken and Dan walked through the store, they noticed a small sign on the counter. 'Out to Lunch, be back in 10 minutes.' "Well, that's real convenient for us ain't it." Dan said, chuckling a bit to himself. "Well yeah, that's why they also call a gas station a convenience store. Alright Dan, I'll cover you, go crack that safe all quiet like." "You got it." Dan then quickly ran into the back room, closing the door behind him, as he then located the safe, which was currently locked, and he proceeded to try and guess the code. "Uhhhh, one one one... One. Fuck! One one one... Two. Dang it, alright, time to just break it." Cue Dan pulling out a damn fire axe as he began swinging at the safe. Meanwhile, Ken was currently leaning on the counter, singing some unknown tune. Fingle was already fast asleep outside, that is, until a certain pink blur appeared right next to him. "Hiya!" "AHHHHH- Oh, sorry, you scared me..." Cue Fingle holding his chest, breathing heavily as Fili-second chuckled to herself. "Sorry, just excited! I ain't ever met a alien before!" "Oh, you must be one of that nice pegasus ladies friends, nice to meet you." Fingle then extended his hand out of the vehicles window. "Names Fingle Dan." Cue Fili-second shaking his hand so fast he swore it was going to be torn off. "Woah, your fast!" "Yep, they call me Fili-second for a reason!" "Wow, you got stuck with a pun for a name?" "Yeah, but it's hilarious! So whatcha doin sittin' out here in your car?" "Oh, I'm waiting for Ken and the others to get done shopping. They're inside if you wanna go meet em." "Okie dokie lokie, thank you!" Cue her zipping inside the store, and stopping just shy of Ken's face, as her beaming smile caught the man off guard, as he flailed like crazy and fell to the ground. "HOLY FUCKING JESUS-" "Ooh, sorry, didn't mean to spook ya like that!" "Ah, it's alright, pony lady- Wait, you one of those power ponies that Zapp girl mentioned?" "Yep, names Fili-second!" Cue her helping Ken up off of his ass as he dusted himself off. "Ken Tucky, nice to meet you." Cue Fili-second looking behind Ken to see the distinct lack of a cashier. "Hey, where's the guy who runs the place?" "Oh, found a sign that said he was out to lunch, so I'm keeping watch for him." Ken said, gesturing to said sign, as Fili-second nodded. "Ooooooooh. Okay then, that's very nice of you!" Just then, she swore she overhead the sound of angry yelling, and some kind of object being smacked against a hard surface, as she pointed to the backroom. "Uhhh, who's back there?" "Oh, that's Dan, I had him watch the backroom. He's a little weird, if you couldn't already tell." "C'mon man, get the FUCK open!" "Yep, real weird." Fili-second slowly nodded, a tiny bit suspicious, but not really liking to judge, as she just shrugged and smiled. "Well, were all a little weird in Maretropolis, so it's great to have you here!" "Appreciate it, ma'am." Fili-second nodded, and as she turned to leave, she was suddenly met by a heavily armored and honestly terrifying man. "Sup." "Oh, uh... Hi!" Cue Ken chuckiling. "Stand down, Jerry. Fili-second, meet Jerry. He's a big fellow." Cue Fili-second perking right as she shook Jerry's hand happily, who had a blank stare. "Nice to meet you, Jerry!" "Pleasures mine, Madam." Suddenly, the door to the back room swung open, as Dan slowly walked out, holding a large bag. "Way hey hey-" Upon looking to Ken, he quickly gestured to Fili-second, who was luckily turned away, so he stashed underneath his shirt. "Oh, hello miss lady." Cue Fili-second turning and happily smiling, as she dashed over and shook Dan's free hand. "Hiya Dan, nice to meet ya, whatcha got behind your back?" "Uhhhhhhhh... Pringles." "Huh... What are Pringles?" "Uhhhhh...." Cue Ken clapping his hands together, as he turned to Fili-second. "They are a delicious snack from our homeworld, one that comes in many flavors and satisfies thy tongue with glorious flavor. They are truly a delectable snack, and we have discovered some in this store, so we shall pay for them and go." Cue Ken slapping some money on the counter, and smiling. "Oh, that's neat! Well, I hope you enjoy it!" Cue her waving goodbye, before vanishing in a pink blur, as the gang made a audible collective sigh of relief. "Alright, we got the money, let's go." As the gang exited the store, they boarded back into the Fingle Mobile, as they celebrated. "First gas station of the week!" "Yeah!" "That's how we do it baby!" Fili-second watched closely as the vehicle pulled away, as she narrowed her eyes. "Hmmmm... Very suspicious... They forgot to get gas!"
1: Ken Tucky loves to Rob 'My name is Ken Tucky.' "Your doing good, Jerry!" 'No relation to the state.' "Just keep that gun on em." 'My boys and I rob gas stations.' The cashier slowly lifted a bag full of cash onto the counter, before raising his hands back into the air. "I swear there is no more money!" The cashier said in a panic, staring down the barrel of a M1911 pistol held by a masked man, wearing heavy duty grey combat armor all across his body, plates of bulletproof kevlar covering all the way from his shins, to his knees, complete with combat gloves and boots. Jerry then spoke through his mask, surprisingly clearly. "Thanks a lot for being so fucking compliant." And with a singular bang, the cashier fell to the floor with a sizable bullet hole in his head. Meanwhile, Dan bent down at a vending machine as a can of 'Sprunk' fell down into the slot, as he slowly pulled said can out. "Wa-ha-hey!" Cue him cracking it open, as it began to fizz loudly with green bubbles foaming out of the top, causing Dan to scream in surprise and confusion. Meanwhile, Ken tucky was speaking to Jerry. "Woah Jerry, you're not supposed to shoot em! Fingle!" As Ken Tucky walked out of the gas station, a man covered entirely in chrome could be seen talking to an ATM in a monotone robotic sounding voice... Flirtatiously. "Ever since I entered this store, I haven't been able to take my eyes off you, when do you get off work?" Surprisingly, the ATM spoke back. "Stop it, your making me blush." Outside, Ken tucky slowly approached a pink and teal van, not blue, it's teal, get it right, car with massive monster truck tires as wheels, as Ken spoke to the driver, who currently had his head leaned forward, snoring loudly. "Fingle, Jerry shot another gas station dude- Oh hell, Fingle, are you sleeping or did Satan finally take you?" A crash rang out as Dan rummaged through some snacks, meanwhile Jerry was currently beating the dead cashier with a bat. "Damn, what did you do?" "Yeah, I think he's still alive, I gotta put him out of his misery." "Jerry, he's been dead, stop it!" "Yeah, I see his chest moving." Jerry said continuing to beat the not so dead cashier even deader while Dan continued to break random shit on the shelves. "Can we go to the next gas station already, you can't keep messing around in there!" "Yeah, I think he's ok, I think he's alive." Meanwhile, Fingle woke up with a loud shout, quickly shaking away his sleep as he turned the ignition key while the rest of the crew exited the gas station, climbing inside the car, with Ken tucky blocking Dan from riding shotgun. "Nuh uh, im getting front. Robot, I dunno what your gonna do, there's only four seats." Cue Robot shrugging as he decided to improvise, as he walked to the back of the car, popped the trunk, and sat down in the back compartment, securing himself with his own seatbelt and closing the trunk door as the car sped away. "Y'know, I wanna get more creative when we rob gas stations, what if we stole a cop car, and fuckin, impersonated a cop? And we come up all in there like 'Hands up'-" As Ken tucky's voice trailed off as the vehicle sped away, a lone figure cloaked in a dark suit wearing a black mash watched on. As the Fingle Mobile sped down the highway, police sirens began to ring out behind them, as Robot yelled out. "Cops!" Dan and Jerry both looked back from their rear seats, confirming Robot's warning, as Jerry quickly lowered his window and pointed his pistol out the window, taking shots at the approaching cop cars. "Eat this, ya copers!" As all of his shots missed, Ken turned to Fingle. "Cmon Fingle, you gotta step on it, my shit aim ain't doin' nothing!" "I'm goin as fast as the old girl will go! Even with the upgrades she's still slow!" Meanwhile, Robot pulled out a damn assault rifle, opened the back window of the vehicle, and fired off, several of his bullets hitting the tires on the police cars, resulting in one car overturning and causing a mass collision as the cars rammed into each other and smoke filled the air as the road was blocked, halting the rest of the pursuing cars from going forward as an angry police sergeant expressed his rage. "DAMN IT!" "Nice one, Robot!" Jerry shouted with enthusiasm for his partner, who simply gave a chrome thumbs up. As the Fingle Mobile rapidly drove down the highway, evading pedestrians and cops alike, Fingle soon saw a police blockade up ahead, as Ken tucky provided some advice. "Hows about we go do a little bit of off roading boys?" Fingle and the rest of the crew nodded, as the vehicle took a sharp turn to the left, as it began to rapidly climb up the side of a mountain, a few police vehicles broke off from the road block to continue giving chase, as a police helicopter watched overhead. "What are you doing, stay on em!" "Listen man, I'm the one driving this damn thing, I got it!" "And you said you went to helicopter school!" "I told you, I didn't go to fuckin' school!" As the two helicopter pilots argued, the Fingle Mobile was rapidly approaching the very peak of the mountain, that is until a familiar figure covered in a black jump suit wearing a dark motorcycle mask stood in their path. "Remember me?" "FUCK, IT'S THE FUCKIN MASK GUY! RUN EM OVER!" Ken yelled out, as Fingle gassed it all the way, speeding towards the masked man, as they jumped onto the hood of the car and aimed a pistol at Ken. "We got un-finished business, Ken tucky! You still haven't paid my bill!" "Oh you can fuck right off- CLIFF!" "What, my name isn't Cliff, it's-" "NO, LOOK, CLIFF!" Ken said pointing to the road, or rather the rapidly approaching end of it leading to the edge of the ridge, as everyone in the vehicle, including the man on the hood, began to scream like little girls, with Fingle failing to fully stop the vehicle before it flew off the side of the mountain, sailing through the air with Jerry and Dan holding each other as Ken and Fingle screamed like mad men, the masked figure losing his grip as he flew over the roof of the Fingle Mobile, before grabbing onto the very back of it as the vehicle took a nose dive. "If were gonna die, I just wanna let you know, I love you all!" Dan said, as the vehicle was about to collide with the ground. And yet... it didn't. The vehicle vanished in a burst of bright white light, blinding the still arguing helicopter pilots as they shielded their eyes who were directly above the vehicle when it went flying off the cliff. "What the fuck was that?" "I dunno, but they're gone! They vanished!" "Yeah, I fuckin' noticed Captain obvious!" "Well, sorry for trying to be helpful!" "Just shut up and radio HQ, just tell em they got away... I think." The co-pilot nodded before tuning the radio while the cop cars on the road barely managed to stop themselves from soaring off and meeting the same fate as the criminals. The radio buzzed to life as he passed it to the pilot and let them speak into it. "Yeah, yeah we lost em." It was a peaceful day in the large bustling city of Maretropolis, as everypony made their way to their day jobs, driving around the daily commute, having your typical traffic accidents, cars falling out of the sky, the usual. Well... Except that last one. As the Fingle Mobile plummeted from the sky, still full of screaming men, the masked man lost his grip, as he fell onto the roof of a tall skyscraper, surprisingly taking minimal damage besides some bruising and a couple broken ribs as they watched the Fingle Mobile continued to plummet, with everyone inside holding on for dear life, waiting for their imminent demise as the ground came up to greet them. However, before they could hit the ground, the vehicle suddenly... Stopped. In mid-air, as a feminine voice spoke out. "Hang on, I gotcha!" Everyone inside the vehicle looked out to see a strange sight indeed. A tall woman, covered in light blue fur, with a long rainbow mane, and wide white feathered wings, currently flapping rapidly. The unknown savior was dressed in what appeared to be some sort of superhero costume, with a sleek black latex suit covering her body, certain parts covered in silver coursing with what appeared to be electricity, and some sort of helmet covering her head all except for her rainbow mane and face, which had a long muzzle and a big smile on her face as she held the Fingle Mobile with one hand. "Zapp, local power pony superhero at your service!" Of course, everybody was speechless, except Ken Tucky, who voiced what practically everyone was thinking at the moment. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!"
2: Ken Tucky in a New World The Bitches had several things going through minds at once. Ken was currently dumb founded that some sort of pony woman with wings had somehow saved their lives, Jerry was currently wondering how the fuck this person was strong enough to both lift the Fingle Mobile with a single arm and fly high in the air, without even breaking a sweat, while Dan was currently not even focusing on the situation, just literally pissing himself from his near death experience, and Fingle was grateful to their unknown savior for saving his baby, by that I mean his car, and Robot, well, he was actually knocked out by the force of Zapp suddenly grabbing the vehicle and halting it's descent, causing him to slam into the back of the car seat due to not wearing his seat belt. Meanwhile, Zapp had several questions, but she knew she had better set these guys down before she started asking, as she slowly lowered herself out of the air, carefully holding the vehicle until they reached the ground, slowly letting it down and releasing it, as it dropped with a small thud, as she touched down on the ground, as Ken Tucky and the gang dismounted from the vehicle, Robot still in the trunk, as Fingle was the first to speak. "Oh thank you, thank you for saving my baby! After losing the first Fingle mobile I couldn't bear to watch the second be destroyed! So yes, thank you very much, dear, I shall never forget this." Zapp lightly chuckled, appreciating the man's thanks. "Your welcome, mister..." "You can call him Fingle, he's our driver." Ken spoke up, grabbing Zapp's attention, as he pointed to himself. "Names Ken Tucky, no relation to the state." Ken then pointed to the heavily armored Jerry Jones. "That's Jerry." "Sup." Ken then pointed to Dan. "That's Dan." "Ayo." "And the guy in the trunk is Robot." Zapp slowly nodded, taking in this info, before asking an important question. "So uhhhhh... What exactly are you guys?" "Oh, were what you call humans." "Hyu-mans?" "No, humans, no emphasis on the hu. And what in the hell are you?" "Oh, I'm a pegasus, or more specifically, the coolest pegasi weather superhero of all time!" Zapp said striking a dramatic pose as lightning struck behind her dramatically, earning a couple claps accompanied by oohs and aahs from Dan, Fingle, and Jerry, as Ken stepped back in surprise. "Oh shit, you got lightning powers!" "Yep, I'm one of the power ponies, the protectors of Maretropolis!" "Holy shit, it's like were in a fuckin comic book- Wait, Maretropolis, bruh, that's a stupid pun." "Yeah, blame the city council, there a real bag of laughs." Zapp said with a groan, as she shrugged her arms. "Well, can you tell me where you came from?" "Oh, we came from the city of Los Santos, big ol city. Dunno exactly how we got here, one second we were falling off a cliff, the next we were falling from the sky, real trippy shit." Dan proceeded to chime in. "Yeah, more trippy than that time I ate some peyote and turned into a zebra." Zapp had a pretty surprised look on her face as Dan said this, confused how this 'Peyote' could transform someone into a zebra. "I see... Well, I oughta talk to my friends about this, but if you want a place to stay, there's a hotel not too far, it's quite cheap, only costs a few bits for a room." Cue Ken slowly nodding, before hearing the word 'Bits'. "The fuck are bits?" "Oh, there our currency, what do you humans have?" Fingle happily answered. "We got dollar bills and coins back home, speaking of which, how will we get home?" Jerry nodded, understanding Fingle's concern as he spoke up. "We can figure that out later, Fingle. Anyways, thanks for the rescue." Zapp saluted, before her wings expanded and she burst into the air with crackling thunder before vanishing into the clouds. "Damn, thats cool." "So what's next, Ken?" Dan asked as he turned to the leader of the gang, with everyone else turning as well, waiting for a response. "Well, like Zapp said, we should probably get a hotel room, or... We can find a new hideout. And then we get back to doing what we do best." "Heck yeah, baby." "Yeah ha hah!" "Man, I'm hard, dude. But wait, this cities got superheros, how the heck are we gonna deal with that?" Fingle asked Ken, concerned that their heists may be thwarted. "We simply gotta be more sneaky, more covert, mission impossible style, catch my drift?" Fingle nodded, understanding Ken. "Alright everybody, let's load up!" The gang quickly got into their seats of the Fingle mobile, climbing inside and buckiling up as the engine started up, and the vehicle quickly sped down the busy streets of Maretropolis, off to hunt for a brand new hideout. Meanwhile, at the Power Ponies Secret Headquarters! Zapp soared overhead of the secret headquarters, built into the side of mount Maremore, as she hovered over the concealed mountain top entrance, as the top of the mountain slowly split open, revealing the entrance hatch slowly creaked open, and she slowly hovered inside, it sealing behind her as she dusted herself off and folded her wings, before quickly walking into the central room of the base, seeing her fellow power ponies, waving to them with a smile on her face. "Hey gals and guy, how is everyone?" Cue Fili-second, being the fastest one in the room, responding first, as the white suited pink maned speedster quickly leaped in front of Zapp and spoke rapidly, but luckily Zapp was so used to her fast talking that she could actually understand her. "Oh, it was so fun, me and Radiance were fighting some crooks mugging a poor woman in an alleyway, then this HUGE explosion rang out and we entered a chase with this van full of big grunts, and Radiance created a big giant traffic cone and I slammed it in front of him, it was so cool, anyways we brought them to justice, so yeah, fun day!" Cue Zapp quickly processing the info, slowly nodding and chuckiling. "Yeah, that does sound exciting." Cue Radiance, wearing her typical tight purple suit lightly chucking, as she lightly tossed her purple mane. "Indeed, darling, I haven't had such excitement since our last duel with the Mane-iac, although those armed crooks did cause a bit more damage than I expected, luckily Matter-Horn and Mare-velous here was around to help clean the mess up." She said gesturing to her purple suited and horned comrade, slowly nodding. "Yeah, took a lot of fixing, and some heavy duty lifting, but we did it." "Ah, cmon now Matter-horn, wadn't that bad, ah reckon it was easier than last time we had damage control." "Oh, don't remind me, that slime took HOURS to clean!" The yellow furred, pink maned Saddle rager grimaced at the memory of the slime incident. "Yes, it took me several days to get the stink and slime out of my suit... I wish I hadn't charged head first into the monster's mouth like that..." Hum Drum, the draconic side kick of the team, decided to chime in. "Yeah, but how else were we gonna get my bomb into it's stomach? We had to blow it sky high somehow!" Everyone nodded in agreement, understanding that battle was quite the close call, when Zapp decided to voice her experience. "Well, not to brag, but I saved a van full of aliens from another world from being pancaked!" Cue everyone giving her a strange look, as Matter-horn entered her inquisitive mode. "Aliens, you say? What were they like, were they bipedal, did they speak our language, what did they look like?" "Well, one, they called themselves humans, and were on two legs, two, yes, they spoke our language, dunno how but they did, and three, one of them wore flip flops with socks, pants with tape on them for some reason, slicked back hair, and a plain white T shirt. Another guy wore this big armored suit, another a plain red hoodie and a long beard, and the final one wore this sun hat and some old geezer clothes." Cue Matter-horn teleporting in a paper and pen, rapidly jotting down notes, and making a sketch of said humans, as she presented it to Zapp. "Is this them?" It was almost an exact replica, as she nodded. "Yep, that's them." "Fascinating..." "Well, ah reckon we oughta go and meet these space aliens later, cause what else we got to do?" Everyone nodded in agreement, as Hum Drum spoke dramatically. "To the Power Plane!" Back to the Bitches... The Fingle mobile slowly drove down the roads of Maretropolis docks as the sun slowly set below the waves, seeking a brand new hideout, as everyone looked out their windows, scanning the many buildings as they drove by. "Okay, look out for any buildings that look abandoned and worn down, they least expect the abandoned places." "Dude, the abandoned places are where they check the most." Fingle said as he voiced his conern, only to earn a quick smack to the jaw by Ken. "Shut up, Fingle, ya dunno shit. Wait, look over there!" Ken said as he pointed out of his window, the gang turning to look at where he was pointing to see a large warehouse, it's windows broken and cracked, spider webs everywhere and the door wide open. It was perfect. "Bingo bango boys, take us inside!" And with that, the Fingle mobile entered the new hideout of the Bitches.
3: Ken Tucky robs Sneaky Style The Bitches Brand New Top Secret Hideout As the Fingle Mobile slowly pulled into the desolate warehouse, it became clear how shit it was. Cobwebs everywhere, dust out the wazoo, old boxes of junk and scrap, piles of rat shit, broken glass, and oh mother of god, the smell! To anyone else, it would be a horrible place to set up shop, but to the Bitches... It was perfect. And as he looked around and took in both the smell and the sights, Ken grew a wide smile. "Smells a bit shit, but eh, we got some air fresheners in the back, should fix the problem. Alright boys, let's get to work!" The gang proceeded to all pile out of the Mobile, and got to work. Ken pulled out a broom and began to sweep the rat turd and broken glass, while Jerry grabbed junk boxes and sorted through them, taking out anything valuable before tossing them outside. Fingle got out a can of Fee-breeze and sprayed it into the air, putting up a couple air freshener trees for good measure, as the bad smell slowly dissipated. Dan used a duster to cleanse the buildings of cob webs and dust in the hard to reach places, while Robot used a vacuum to clean up the floor of the building. Then, they noticed there was a second floor, as they set to cleaning it too. There was more junk to sort out, more rat shit, and a big ol rat nest, which Jerry cleaned out with a good ol 1911. Soon, the building was fully cleaned out and the stench was eradicated, as the gang admired their work. "It looks great, gang." Ken said in confidence. "Yeah, but we don't got anything to put in here. Heck, we don't even got a damn door!" Jerry said in frustration. "You have a good point, Jerry, were gonna need to acquire some funding so we can buy stuff to spruce up the place." It was then Fingle had a genius idea. "Why don't we go hit a gas station?" "Genius idea Fingle, that's why your on this team, Robot, you stay here and guard the hideout, and maybe put up some blinds up on those windows, don't want anyone peeping in." Robot saluted while the rest of the gang piled into the Fingle Mobile as it pulled out of the warehouse and back onto the harbor road, as the sun was now fully down, and they slowly drove out of the harbor and into the busy nighttime streets of Maretropolis. "We gonna get the mad bucks!" Dan yelled out triumphantly. "Actually, as that nice superhero lady said, Dan, the currency here is bits, so the term would be 'Were gonna get mad bits'." Fingle said as he corrected Dan. "Ahh, that makes sense." Meanwhile, high above the city on top of one of the tall skyscrapers, a lone man stood, cloaked in his black jumpsuit and mask, as he looked down upon the city. Suddenly, the roar of jet engines surprised him, as he ducked down to see a large jet fly right by him. "Who in the bloody hell...?" The jet was completely jet black, obviously meant to be a stealth craft, as it slowly flew overhead, before coming to a stop, as its jet engines pointed downwards in VTOL mode, as it slowly descended onto the roof of one of the nearby skyscrapers, as the masked man watched from out of sight. Out of the jet emerged a small group of around seven figures, each dressed rather eccentrically, as the masked figure narrowed his gaze and watched in intrigue. "Ah gotta say, that jet of yours is pretty neat, Humdrum." Mistress Mare-velous said, looking to her draconic teammate. "Hey, Matter horn and Zapp helped design it too, I just designed the electronics!" Cue Zapp striking a boastful grin, while Matter horn, while still proud, concealed it more, as she simply smiled at Hum Drum. "Still wouldn't be possible without you. Now then, let's see where these 'humans' are..." Matter horn then used her super sight to scan the streets below, before asking Zapp for a description of the vehicle. "So what did their car look like?" "Well, it looked like a big van with monster truck wheels and was painted pink and... Teal?" Meanwhile, Fingle felt a tremendous amount of satisfaction flow through him, as he sensed that someone finally got his car's description right. After a few seconds of looking, Matter horn quickly locked onto the vehicle in question. "I see em, and wow, that is a weird looking vehicle..." "Told ya so." Cue Fili-Second also caught sight of the strange vehicle, as she began to rapidly rub her hands together in excitement. "Oh boy, this is so exciting, we're gonna meet some aliens!" Cue Radiance lightly giggling a bit. "Here's hoping they don't go abducting and probing us." Saddle Rager just face-palmed. "Pretty sure they aren't those kinds of aliens... It looks like there going to that gas station." Saddle said, as she pointed to the Fingle Mobile, which was now parked in front of a small gas station, as the Bitches now dis-embarked. "I call dibs on first contact with the weird aliens!" Cue Fili-second zipping away, as Matter horn appeared defeated. "Dang it, I wanted to be the one to perform first contact, I had a whole bunch of questions!" Zapp just simply chuckled to herself. "Alright, let's scope this place out, Fingle, stay in the car. Jerry, scope out the back. Dan, with me, we goin' in front." Everyone nodded, as Jerry sneakily made his way behind the station, at least as sneaky as his body armor allowed. As Ken and Dan walked through the store, they noticed a small sign on the counter. 'Out to Lunch, be back in 10 minutes.' "Well, that's real convenient for us ain't it." Dan said, chuckling a bit to himself. "Well yeah, that's why they also call a gas station a convenience store. Alright Dan, I'll cover you, go crack that safe all quiet like." "You got it." Dan then quickly ran into the back room, closing the door behind him, as he then located the safe, which was currently locked, and he proceeded to try and guess the code. "Uhhhh, one one one... One. Fuck! One one one... Two. Dang it, alright, time to just break it." Cue Dan pulling out a damn fire axe as he began swinging at the safe. Meanwhile, Ken was currently leaning on the counter, singing some unknown tune. Fingle was already fast asleep outside, that is, until a certain pink blur appeared right next to him. "Hiya!" "AHHHHH- Oh, sorry, you scared me..." Cue Fingle holding his chest, breathing heavily as Fili-second chuckled to herself. "Sorry, just excited! I ain't ever met a alien before!" "Oh, you must be one of that nice pegasus ladies friends, nice to meet you." Fingle then extended his hand out of the vehicles window. "Names Fingle Dan." Cue Fili-second shaking his hand so fast he swore it was going to be torn off. "Woah, your fast!" "Yep, they call me Fili-second for a reason!" "Wow, you got stuck with a pun for a name?" "Yeah, but it's hilarious! So whatcha doin sittin' out here in your car?" "Oh, I'm waiting for Ken and the others to get done shopping. They're inside if you wanna go meet em." "Okie dokie lokie, thank you!" Cue her zipping inside the store, and stopping just shy of Ken's face, as her beaming smile caught the man off guard, as he flailed like crazy and fell to the ground. "HOLY FUCKING JESUS-" "Ooh, sorry, didn't mean to spook ya like that!" "Ah, it's alright, pony lady- Wait, you one of those power ponies that Zapp girl mentioned?" "Yep, names Fili-second!" Cue her helping Ken up off of his ass as he dusted himself off. "Ken Tucky, nice to meet you." Cue Fili-second looking behind Ken to see the distinct lack of a cashier. "Hey, where's the guy who runs the place?" "Oh, found a sign that said he was out to lunch, so I'm keeping watch for him." Ken said, gesturing to said sign, as Fili-second nodded. "Ooooooooh. Okay then, that's very nice of you!" Just then, she swore she overhead the sound of angry yelling, and some kind of object being smacked against a hard surface, as she pointed to the backroom. "Uhhh, who's back there?" "Oh, that's Dan, I had him watch the backroom. He's a little weird, if you couldn't already tell." "C'mon man, get the FUCK open!" "Yep, real weird." Fili-second slowly nodded, a tiny bit suspicious, but not really liking to judge, as she just shrugged and smiled. "Well, were all a little weird in Maretropolis, so it's great to have you here!" "Appreciate it, ma'am." Fili-second nodded, and as she turned to leave, she was suddenly met by a heavily armored and honestly terrifying man. "Sup." "Oh, uh... Hi!" Cue Ken chuckiling. "Stand down, Jerry. Fili-second, meet Jerry. He's a big fellow." Cue Fili-second perking right as she shook Jerry's hand happily, who had a blank stare. "Nice to meet you, Jerry!" "Pleasures mine, Madam." Suddenly, the door to the back room swung open, as Dan slowly walked out, holding a large bag. "Way hey hey-" Upon looking to Ken, he quickly gestured to Fili-second, who was luckily turned away, so he stashed underneath his shirt. "Oh, hello miss lady." Cue Fili-second turning and happily smiling, as she dashed over and shook Dan's free hand. "Hiya Dan, nice to meet ya, whatcha got behind your back?" "Uhhhhhhhh... Pringles." "Huh... What are Pringles?" "Uhhhhh...." Cue Ken clapping his hands together, as he turned to Fili-second. "They are a delicious snack from our homeworld, one that comes in many flavors and satisfies thy tongue with glorious flavor. They are truly a delectable snack, and we have discovered some in this store, so we shall pay for them and go." Cue Ken slapping some money on the counter, and smiling. "Oh, that's neat! Well, I hope you enjoy it!" Cue her waving goodbye, before vanishing in a pink blur, as the gang made a audible collective sigh of relief. "Alright, we got the money, let's go." As the gang exited the store, they boarded back into the Fingle Mobile, as they celebrated. "First gas station of the week!" "Yeah!" "That's how we do it baby!" Fili-second watched closely as the vehicle pulled away, as she narrowed her eyes. "Hmmmm... Very suspicious... They forgot to get gas!"
