Rainbow Dash Gets A Speeding Ticket

by ShadowblazeCR

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1305

Rainbow Dash finds out that Equestria has speed limits.

Rainbow Dash finds out that Equestria has speed limits.

Featured on 2/5/24!

Reading from RainbowInfinityReadings!

Published 2024-02-05 22:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-05 22:50:00 UTC

It's A Medical Condition

There was never a problem with Rainbow Dash's speed, her constant training regime, consistent skill in adapting her techniques, and overall awesomeness had always attributed to being the best. Her need for speed was known across the world, her travels throughout it with her friends and the Wonderbolts had shown as such. Most of the time, it felt like the world was against her, the slow, methodical nature of her surroundings constantly clashed with the culture of Ponyville and her natural tendencies. Even Cloudsdale's culture moved at an incredibly, exceptionally average speed.

This was why Dash's night flights were so important to her, especially considering she only had a select cast of individuals that could keep up with her tempo. Occasionally, a Wonderbolt would join her for a race or chat, Soarin had been the most frequent as of late and she hadn't had any complaints about his company. Yet, with the wind running through her mane and a box of wheat fries in her hoof, she couldn't complain about anything at the moment.

Rainbow Dash weaved in and out, performing aerials and divebombing through the clouds. There was nothing to keep her from doing a fantastic Sonic Rainboom. She might as well give the locals something to gaze out that night, it was the least she could do for her loyal fans.

So she did.

The rainbow's wave's sped toward the horizon in all directions, splitting dozen's of clouds into nothing. The clouds continued to disperse until the sky was empty except for Rainbow Dash, the moon, stars, and a displeased policepony.

Wait.

Rainbow Dash squinted her eyes, halting her electric divebomb to focus on the shape moving her way. The pegasus was shaking his head slowly, an evident 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' body language exuded from them. One hoof sported some device, while the other held a pad with markings across it.

"Good evening Miss Dash." The policepony began the conversation. Rainbow Dash wasn't able to tell what their facial features were showing, their eyes were covered with a pair of dark aviators (strange, considering it was midnight), and a well kept mustache.

"Hey Officer...Donuthauser, how's it going?" Rainbow Dash didn't let the strange interaction keep her from keeping a potential fan from meeting her. "I can't say I've ever given a policepony an autograph, but hey, I aim to please around here."

She tried to keep eye contact when he replied, but her eyes couldn't pull away from the chocolate sprinkled donut topped with a patrol cap that adorned his flanks. How fitting. "Well Miss Dash, were you aware of how fast you were going?"

"Pretty freakin' fast, can't do one of those patented Rainbooms if I wasn't." She gave a bump to his shoulder to no reaction. "I'm sure that's why you've got one of those devices in your hoof. Gotta show all those neighsayers that don't believe I can actually go that fast huh?"

Still nothing. Tough crowd.

Officer Donuthauser let out a tired sigh, "As much as I would love to go home and brag to my kids about their idol being a lawbreaker, I'm afraid this meeting is purely business."

It looked like Rainbow Dash wasn't getting a new fan anytime soon. That was fine, she already had plenty, she was sure Donuthauser was just shy anyways. No one came around at midnight for business, unless it was asking for a discount on her merchandise.

"Alright dude, I get ya. What can the coolest element do for you?" Rainbow draped a hoof over the shoulder of the officer. She patted his back, "Look, since we've had a great interaction so far, I'd be glad to do a flyover for your kids. I'll even throw in a discount, we'll just say its for our service ponies."

"Miss Das-"

She kept patting his back, not letting him continue. "Okay, yeah, think of it like this dude. You get to use the money that you saved for the add on of having me in my Wonderbolt uniform. Real deal breaker for most, just sayin'."

"Miss Dash, you are aware the speed limit here is fifty miles an hour, correct?" The officer said, beginning to scribble on an empty page.

"The what?"

"Speed limit."

"What?"

"Speed."

"Yeah, I get that part. It's like my second middle name."

"Limit."

"Nah, can't be. Princess Egghead would've told me, she's a stickler like that." Rainbow Dash chuckled, this guy had to be one of those deadpan kind of funny ponies.

Officer Donuthauser finished scribbling, handing her the piece of paper. He didn't stop there, describing the contents while he handed it to her. "These limits have been here since before Princess Twilight arrived in Ponyville. In fact, the cloudsigns would still be up if these weekly escapades, strangely all taking place on a Saturday, didn't singlehandedly increase the towns taxpayer's monthly payments."

Dash choked on air, it had to have been the height they were at. Certainly not the price that was written at the bottom of the ticket. "Look Officer, I don't think this is legal to give me anyways."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Do tell."

"So, um." Rainbow Dash poured on the nervousness, after this who wouldn't say she didn't know how to spin a story. "When I did my first Rainboom, as a kid I'm sure you've heard by now..."

"Right."

She gave her forehoof a good rub, playing her part. "Well, seems being the first pony to break the sound barrier has some side effects. And after the first month of my parents keeping me inside...They didn't know what they were doing so don't blame them officer. I literally vibrated through one of the walls."

"Hmm." His eyebrow somehow had levitated above his forehead.

"And after I got taken to the doctor, live savers I'll tell ya, they prescribed me weekly Rainbooms to settle my elections-"

"Electrons?"

"Or whatever, yeah." Rainbow Dash nodded to herself. "It's a medical condition Officer Donuthauser. I think you can keep this on the D-L right? Just between two public servants of course."

"And where is the proof of this Miss Dash." The policepony hadn't changed their expression. Dash had at least confirmed that the glasses weren't transition lenses at least. "I'm sure a prestigious and world renown pony such as yourself would have such identification on you."

Rainbow Dash drew a sharp breath through her teeth, "Shhh, uh heh. I gotta say officer, you really caught me on a bad day."

"Did I now?"

"Dude, trust me, nine time out of ten, I'm on it." She smashed her hoof in the air, enunciating her words. "Tonight though. Sorry, I left the card in my other pants."

"You're not wearing any pants Miss Dash." Officer Donuthauser continued deadpan. "You can either pay through the Ponyville castle or contest on the date written on the back. Please slow down, maybe get yourself a Pelaton or one of those Zumba workouts that Zecora is recommending. Just stay safe Miss Dash, next time I can't be as lenient."

Rainbow Dash let out a defeated sigh. She had officially gotten her second ticket, apparently "gotta go fast" wasn't a medical condition just as much as breaking and entering in a hospital to get a Daring Do book wasn't "fostering literacy".

Author's Note

Hello everyone, have been writing for other fandoms like RWBY for awhile and can't let my itch for this fandom ever go away. Even after all these years, I keep thinking about a quick one-shot or what else I could add to my favorite OctaScratch ship. So, for today at least, I figured I would knock out something I have had hanging around on the shelf.

Thank you all for reading, and please keep the interest in this fandom going.