Unbroken Humans

“Oh, that’s good stuff!”, Rainbow moaned, wiping the cream from her face. Her and Soarin were sat outside a cafe patio on what felt like a date. “So what’cha need Soarin? A Wonderbolt OG like you doesn’t come all the way out here just to catch up.”

“Yah, I guess not”, Soarin chuckled. “Spitfire’s got me in the doghouse right now.”

“What’cha do?”

Soarin rubbed his head before looking back up at Rainbow. “I saved her.”

“Huh?”

“A few of our regulars were pulling maneuvers over the training field. Spitfire thought it would be good to have the recruits watch them train and brought’em out. About five minutes in, one of the newbies sounded off about how Spitfire was a moron for thinking they could learn anything just by watching.”

“Oof”, Rainbow cringed.

“Yah, you can imagine how that turned out. The guy was a good flier but Spitfire tore into him for a solid ten minutes before telling him to beat it. The rest of the recruits kept watching the maneuvers, but Spitfire, she was busy beating herself up for losing her shit again.”

“Yah, the old girl always did have a short fuse”, Rainbow recalled. “It’s why me and her never worked out.”

“Anyway, one of the regulars was pulling a dive, but he came in too hot. His wings locked and he fell like a rock. I saw him, the recruits saw him, but none of them were gonna say anything after they watched their friend have the screws put to him.”

“So what happened?”, Rainbow asked.

Soarin took another sip of his coffee. “The guy was gonna crater right into the poor girl, so I launched, caught him, and everything was fine… until Spitfire called me into her office. She said I made her look bad, and quote “I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you pretty boy, I can protect my own ass!”end quote.”

Rainbow leaned back in her chair. “You think maybe she did see the guy and was just trying to scare him? She used to do that sort of crap back when I was in training.”

“Maybe she did. But I wasn’t going to risk letting one of our best divers becoming a red stain on the runway to protect her ego!”

“Yah, but you don’t mess with a girls ego”, Rainbow smiled biting her tongue and doing the stupid ‘this guy’ pose with her thumbs.

“ha ha”, Soarin mocked, palming his face. “Look Rainbow you and her were…”, Soarin wiggled his tongue between his fingers. “so is there anything I can do for the girl that’ll help here?”

“Her ego’s hurting, only thing that’ll fix that is time”

“That’s not helpful Rainbow”

“What do you want me to say? She’s been emasculated… you could let her fuck you”

“WHAT!? Jesus no, why is she into stallions?”

“Oh-ho yah”, Rainbow replied, making humping motions in her seat.

Soarin thought for a moment before shaking his head and pointing to a human girl walking down the street. “Look at her.”

“What, the human?”, Rainbow asked, watching Ashley walk cautiously down the street. “you like her?”

“Yes, but does Spitfire?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. Humans weren’t around when me and her were together.”

The two watched Ashley turn left, onto the trail that led to Twilight’s Castle.

“Looks like she’s trying to get home”, Rainbow remarked tossing her empty cup in the trash. “Why don’t you go pick her up and see if Spitfire wants a pet.”

“What just grab her? Like a stray kitten?”

Rainbow smiled, “It was nice seeing you again Soarin. Thanks for the coffee”, and flew away.

Soarin sat there for awhile. Would Spitfire even want a human, He thought.

I mean the girl is going home, but if she can make Spitfire happy for a little while, why not? And besides, even if Spitfire doesn’t want her I’m sure the offer alone will earn me some points with her.

“Screw it, why not?”, Soarin stood up and took off into the sky, spilling what was left of his coffee over the table as he did.

{In Front of Twilight’s Castle}

* knock knock knock *

“Hello? I wanna go home!”, Ashley called to the owner of the imposing castle, believing inside there was an opportunity for her to return to Earth. Little did she know that Twilight had moved the portal to the capital in an attempt to stem the tide of humans approaching her about a pathway home.

As Ashley sat there awaiting a response from someone inside, Soarin approached traumatized girl from behind. His steps were silent as the ex-shadowbolt closed in on her like a leopard would an unsuspecting doe, and similarly pounced. Grabbing Ashley’s waist,

“NO! Not again!”, Ashley yelled as Soarin rocketed into the sky, preventing the struggling human from fighting too hard, out of concern for falling to her death.

“Put me down!”

“Ok”

“AHHHHHHH!”, Ashley screamed as she was dropped by Soarin, thousands of feet above the ground only to be saved just as quickly by the skilled flier.

“Alright now what?”, Soarin asked the shaking girl.

“Don’t let go!”

“Hmph, women.(lol) So what’s your name?”

“Ashley, please don’t hurt me!”

“Nobody’s gonna hurt you. I’m taking you to Spitfire.”

“Who the hell is Spitfire?!”

“Your new owner!”, Soarin replied cheerfully. “At least I hope so.”

“Owner?”

“Yah, she’s really unhappy right now and I thought a new pet might cheer her up.”

“PET?! Oh god, NO!” Ashley started struggling once more, only for Soarin to drop her again. He just as quickly rescued the girl and her struggles ceased, but she was now crying which made her kidnapper feel kinda bad.

“Oh come on, don’t with the water works. Spitfire’s great, you’ll see. She’ll feed you and brush you, and take you to all her shows.”

Soarin’s words only made the poor thing sob even harder.

“I wanna go home!”

“It’s ok, were almost there.”

Ashley looked up and was faced with a city in the clouds. Her tears stopped and her jaw went slack, at the wonder of this impossible sight. A city in the sky. Something Ashley had only read about in fiction(and fan-fiction)… was now her real life destination.

Once they arrived at Spitfire’s house, Soarin placed Ashley down on the steps, and warned her not to move off, lest she fall through the clouds and plummet to to her death. A warning she dutifully heeded by clinging to Soarin’s right leg.

* DING DONG *

The door opened and a frazzled Spitfire stepped out. “What do you want pretty boy?”

“You’ve been down in the dumps for three days now Soooo. I brought you a present!”, Soarin motioned to Ashley still clinging to his leg.

Spitfire looked down at the trembling human, and a big smile crawled across her face. “Oh my Celestia she’s so cute!”

YES!, Soarin exclaimed in his mind as Spitfire leaned down and tousled Ashley’s hair.

“Aww the poor thing is freezing, let’s get her inside.”

Soarin followed Spitfire into her home, and against her better judgment, so did Ashley. As the three entered the house Soarin immediately saw the place had fallen into disarray since his last visit. To be fair though, that had been years ago when Rainbow and Spitfire were still an item. But even so the place could do with some TLC.

“So where did you find this cute little thing”, She asked handing Ashley, but ‘not’ Soarin, a cup of hot coco.

“I found her in Ponyville while I was visiting Dash”

“Oh? And what did you need to see ol crash about?”

“Some way to make you smile again, like the way you are right now”

Spitfire quickly switched back to her professional scowl. “What made you think she would know how to makemehappy?”

“Well getting you this human was her idea. Maybe she still gets you”, Soarin watched Spitfire return her gaze to Ashley and saw the smile crawl back over her face without stoic pony even realizing.

“Maybe”, Spitfire remarked looking back at Soarin. “Well you’ve given her so why don’t you beat it!”

“Alright alright”, Soarin opened the door and steped out onto the porch. “It was nice to see you happy again Spitfire… if only for a moment.”

“Soarin…”

“Yah?”

“Thank you.”

“Hmph”, Soarin smiled and jumped into the clouds before a sonic boom cracked and she saw him break out toward Canterlot.

Stupid pretty boy, Spitfire thought. “What kind of moron leaves the door open at seven thousand feet”, Spitfire closed the door and turned to Ashley, who stared at her quietly sipping on her coco.

“Hi”, Ashley said meekly.

“Hello… Rainbow 2.”