Apple Bloom had been missing for nine days, and Applejack lost hope that she was still alive. In fact, most of the townsponies gave up hope, even if they didn't say it. Search parties were still blindly searching the forest, determined to find something, anything that would give forth a clue. Chatters from everypony, ponies offering as much help as possible, trying to offer something some other pony didn’t come up with even though it was almost always an idea already put forth. Applejack wanted to believe her sister was alive, that she simply wandered too far, disappeared somewhere. But she knew, in fact maybe she knew the minute she heard of the tragedy, that Apple Bloom was gone. She might never come back again.
That was what the voice told her, anyway.
It usually happened at night. Applejack was unable to sleep before the whispers, and so she would open her eyes wide as a whisper would carry itself softly into her ear. The first time it happened, it was the third day. And the voice spoke to her after all of the Apples went to sleep, and AJ was out alone on the porch, Winona by her side. She was staring out, looking at the forest in front of her, past her fields and trees. The forest stood there mocking her. It knew AJ was lost, and she thought that perhaps it was glad at that fact.
It was cold. It was villainous, as if a snake crawled into AJ’s ear, burrowed itself deep inside, and stuck its tongue out, tickling her eardrums with its unforgiving cold. And it said her dear sister was dead.
Her eyes grew large, her breath slowed, her throat filled. She opened her mouth slowly, saliva creating strings across her chapped lips. Winona stirred, unsure what was about to happen. And what came from Applejack was a blood curdling scream. And she slipped away.
And now, she hears the voices throughout the day. Applejack felt as though it was her burden alone to carry, one for no other. She also thought nopony would believe her, and this was for the most part true. A grieving sister, it’s obvious she was going crazy, and Applejack knew it was. She ignored the pure evil in it’s voice, how it taunted her, how it visited her when she would least expect it and least want it, and she used the excuse that it was her own screwed up mind, her own thoughts and beliefs that came from the lowest part of her mind, and she felt as though it would leave her, it had to, because everything had an expiration date. But it did not stop Applejack from locking the door every night.
And so, after 9 days, Applejack finally was broken, defeated by the relentless voice. Her usual strong body became shallow, skinny and out of shape, and by this day, her ribs began to show. She lost everything about her, and she lost most of her mind, she must have.
And she thought of herself as crazy. Her friends knew something was wrong, but just what, they couldn’t understand. They wouldn’t be able to, all of it was outside of their understanding. Everytime they would pry, ask if something happened, something worse, if she heard anything, she would smile and say no. She would say no in a quiet southern drawl, and her denial would always be in a hoarse whisper, and the whisper would bring around the threat of the voice. It had the effect of faking a punch. And she would wince, not only because of the threat, but because it would be a lie. And Applejack never lied.
She wasn’t herself.
And she hated herself.
And she wanted to see her sister.
Applejack wanted to die.
And that night, Applejack dreamed for the first time . Whenever she slept, which was rare enough as it was, it would be complete blackness. It was immune from anything, even the voice. But on this day, at her lowest, Applejack found herself in the forest.
She was surrounded by the largest trees she ever saw in her life, thick and heavy. They blocked out the side, and if there were tops, AJ was unable to see them. She was aware of everything. Of the cold sweat that felt eerily real, her fluttering eyes, her skin that moved like waves. Her teeth were chattering from the cold environment. She could see her breath, a light cloud forming around her mouth whenever she exhaled. She was afraid she would lose oxygen if she breathed too hard, but she found it impossible to change the action.
A light thud behind her.
And AJ turned around with pure instinct, and all of the lines set by dreams were blurred as Applejack eyed the brown box in front of her. She felt the sweat her eyes her skin her soul her soul that left and she felt hollow inside as she walked towards the box and it wasn’t far but she felt the vision widen and she couldn’t breathe yes she lost it she was right she was right she lost everything and her hooves were
on fire as she began to open the box slowly and she was on the cusp of passing out and she thought oh god i'm not dreaming oh god it’s all real it's all real and she opened the box which was taped yes she pulled away the tape and she saw inside and she wanted to breathe as she smelled the flesh and death and she wanted to look away she wanted to see something else but she couldn’t and finally she understood what she was seeing and she saw she saw she saw she saw saw saw saw…
She saw Apple Bloom's severed head staring back up at her. And it’s mouth opened, and through gurgled blood, it spoke.
Mother said it was safe.
That was the day Applejack officially lost her mind.
