Cupcake Factory

“Let Flim and Flam come back and try to reclaim Sweet Apple Acres!” -Nero Darkard

Cupcake Factory

By Nero Darkard (aka. NeroTheDarklord)

Chapter 2: Super Squeezed

Sweet Apple Acres was especially nice looking today. Or perhaps it was just the cider. After all, Pinkie and Rainbow were both having a drinking contest and passed their tenth mug.

“Y’know, Pinks. I reeelly wun’t hav’ thought we two would end up fittin’ t’gethr like dis,” Rainbow babbled.

“I knoooooooow, right? All those years, I stole the cider away from you on purpose. *hic* Just to… pisssss you off. And nao-” Pinkie replied.

“Wai-wai-wait dere a momnt. Did yu just say you did that on prpus?” Rainbow questioned.

“Yeah, kinda. But let’s *hic* forget about that for now. This stuff is toooooooo goooooood this year,” the pink mare suggested and finished off another mug. “Your turn, Dashie.”

With her head feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds, Rainbow Dash found it impossible to lift it from the table. So instead, she just reached out to the next mug, grabbing it and pulling it to her mouth. But as she tried to drink, nothing but a single drop of sweet, sweet cider hit her tongue.

“Hey! What’s that nao? Where’s de cider gone to? AJ! Hey, AJ! Gimme one more round!” the drunk athlete protested.

Applejack was just a few steps away from them. She sighed as she turned to the sight presented to her. Pinkie was laying on the table, her head hanging down in the air, while Rainbow’s body was laying flat on the ground with her head still laying sideways on the wooden construct. Both were surrounded by dozens of empty cider mugs.

“Sugarcubes. As much as Ah like the extra money I get from servin’ ya two, Ah really think yer both had enough,” Applejack spoke in concern.

“I’ll tell yu sun enuf when I had enuf, ‘kay?” Rainbow kept on protesting.

“Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaah... And besides, just look at Berry Punch over there! How many mugs did she have so far? Ffffffff… fifty?” Pinkie joined in.

“Ya two perfectly well know that she’s got an alcohol problem and if you keep this up, y’all just end up like her,” Applejack tried to reason.

“If y’know abut her alclhl pr…. pr… prblms… Why do you evn serve her in d’first ples? Jzzt look at’er! She’s esly drunk enough t’kill a hors,” the drunken athlete kept on babbling.

“Horse pun? Really, Rainbow?” Applejack commented, followed by a sigh. “Well, who am Ah to chase away mah most loyal customer. Her problems give me and the farm money, so that’s that. However, Ah won’t take responsibility for yer two. So that’s it. No more cider for you today.”

“Oh c’mon, AJ! Jst one more! Just a… sngl… mug…” Rainbow started, unable to finish.

Suddenly, both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie fell asleep. Another reason for Applejack to shake her head. These two. Sheesh. Its always the same every cider season.

“Well, where do Ah put yer two now…” the orange mare wondered.

As soon as she thought that, Big Macintosh appeared out of nowhere.

“What shall we do with the drunken fillies. What shall we do with the drunken fillies. What shall we do with the drunken fillies, early in the morning,” he started singing, causing Applejack’s eyes to narrow and gain a serious look.

“Keep yer pants on, big brother,” she threatened.

“Not wearin’ any,” BigMac replied with a sly smirk, only to get it slapped out of his face by his sister a second later.

A few hours later, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie woke up with pounding heads. Applejack was screaming so loudly.

“We are at her barn again…” Rainbow commented.

“Doesn’t surprise me after we drank that much. But, ugh… can she please stop shouting? I’m not ready to party, yet. Stupid hangovers...” Pinkie mumbled.

“Why is she screaming anyway? I’m gonna check it out,” the light blue mare decided.

As she stepped out of the hay and opened the barn door, her confusion only increased. She saw Applejack arguing with two stallions. Aren’t those Flim and Flam? Those friendship-and-cider-ruining jerks? And what’s that machine they have with them? It didn’t look like this cider squeezer thing they showed up with last time. It was much bigger and colored in white and orange.

Just moments later, the two arguing parties turned around and went different directions. While Flim and Flam started to remove the wheels from their machine and built it up, Applejack just stomped in her house in fury.

“Pinks. I think we have a problem,” Rainbow spoke.

It was already night-time when the two friends left the house again and slowly went back to Ponyville. The machine Flim and Flam brought was fully erected by now. A small, fully automated factory as they learned by now. The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 7000.

“This is horse apples, Pinks. They may have won the bet years ago, but they ran off! How can it be that they still have the right to reclaim Sweet Apple Acres?” Rainbow Dash wondered in anger.

“Well, think about it the other way! This thing clearly improved! It won’t produce poor quality cider anymore and is even much more efficient! We will get more cider than ever before!” Pinkie tried to cheer up.

“How come you aren’t angry that Applejack loses her farm? Oh, let me guess. Her number came up, right?” Rainbow figured.

“Yupsie daisy! Oh, I can’t wait! I have been looking forward to bake a literal apple pie for ages!” the pink mare replied, bouncing in excitement.

“Hm… That does sound good and all... But I’m not sure…” the athletic mare commented.

“What do you mean, Dashie? My numbering system is never wrong! Nopony will find out!” Pinkie explained.

“Well, that’s not fully true. It did fail on me, remember? And if you and I are… unusual… don’t you think there is a chance one of the others might turn out to be just the same?” Rainbow wondered.

“Hmmm… I never thought about it that way. Then again, I never tried to kill one of my close friends before you. What do you think we should do, Dashie?” the pink mare asked back.

“They are still our friends, so we shouldn’t just give them up that easily. Just for the vague chance, we should protect them. Who knows how things might turn out,” the light blue mare suggested.

For a moment, it became silent while they passed by the huge machine which was threatening to ruin one of their friends’ life. Pinkie’s eyes were glued to it while they walked. Suddenly, she stopped and a huge grin grew on her face.

“In that case, I have a pretty fun idea. Tomorrow is the grand opening and all of Ponyville will be there to see how this thing works, right?” she asked.

“Yeah. So what?” Rainbow wondered.

“How about we check this thing out for the rest of the night? Turning a little screw here, moving a magical device there,” the party pony spoke, her head slowly turning over to her friend with a crazy grin on her face. “It would be pretty funny if that machine would end up sucking in something entirely different to apples, wouldn’t it?”

At first, Rainbow’s face showed only stun. But then, she gained a sly smirk herself.

“Oh Pinkie, you nasty, nasty pony. I’m really starting to love this side of you,” she commented.

The next day, early in the morning, next to all ponies in Ponyville gathered up at Sweet Apple Acres. Even the mayor had come to give a speech in honor of this day Ponyville would step up in technological advancement. Everypony seemed to be sold on the idea of having a cider factory nearby.

Flim and Flam were as cocky as ever. They throned on their apparatus, already dreaming of all the money they will make. Their eyes jumped over to the Apple family every once in a while, looking down on them in disgust while they were returned the same exact glances. Little did they all know that Pinkie and Rainbow were hiding in the crowd, giggling in anticipation and hoof bumping.

“So without further ado, I give the word to our new factory owners: Mister Flim and Mister Flam!” the mayor finished and stepped aside of the podium.

The sales ponies jumped up and stepped on the wooden stage for one final speech.

“Fillies and gentlecolts! Today is a glorious day for Ponyville! Never will you have to suffer the dreadful lack of cider again! For the Flim Flam Brothers bring you the ultimate salvation to your dry, cider-craving throats!” Flim started.

“Are you ready to begin a new era of never ending cider?” Flam asked the crowd.

Loud cheering came forth as a response.

“Then let’s begin!” both brothers shouted at once.

They turned around and hit two antennas with their magic beams. Instantly, the machine roared to life. A long trunk extended and started to move all over the orchard, causing the crowd to cheer even louder.

But something peculiar happened. Not a single apple was sucked it. The machine just scanned tree after tree without finding anything good enough to be pushed between its gears. Finally, the trunk moved back towards Flim and Flam.

The two brothers looked baffled as they saw the trunk stop right above them. Then, their eyes shot wide open and their pupils shrank to small dots while they gained rather ridiculous expressions as they were sucked up.

The crowd gasped in shock, seeing as these two quickly traveled inside their own creation. The moment they reached the massive machine, it started making much heavier noises. Loud crunching and gear screeching could be heard while the glass cylinders filled with blood.

The crowd started screaming in horror. Some ponies started throwing up in disgust. Others ran away in panic. But most just stood there, paralyzed from the sight.

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 7000 clearly was not made to crush bones. The noises coming from inside the machine rapidly became heavier and heavier, accompanied by metallic breaking sounds. After just ten seconds, the whole machine shut down, smoking out of every gap. Another second later, it placed down a large barrel and a well drained mushy pile of flesh, bones and fur next to it.

Silence filled the orchard. All ponies had their eyes and mouths wide open. The mayor was no different. But after a few seconds, she adjusted her tie and stepped in front of the podium again.

“Well… That did not go as anticipated,” she started. “I guess we should all… go home now.”

Slowly, the traumatized ponies went back home, still having those shocked expressions frozen on their faces. Only Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash remained standing still, faking their shock. Their eyes constantly jumped around and as even the Apple family had returned to their house, they both suddenly bursted out in laughter.

“No. No that really didn’t go as anticipated. This was much better! Absolutely hilarious!” Rainbow commented.

“Yeah! Look! Come over here, Dashie” Pinkie Pie requested while walking towards the mushed up pile of brothers. “‘Well lookie here, brother of mine! We have become one!’”

“Pfffffffff! Good one, Pinks!” Rainbow commented while laughing. “I guess they barrel-ly made it!”

That was too much for Pinkie Pie. She just fell on her back, wiggling her legs into the air while laughing her heart out.

“Oh! Oh, Dash! You are the bomb! Oh no, my stomach!” she spoke.

It took them over two minutes to calm down again. Then, they decided to open the barrel. It was filled to the rim with well filtered, high quality pony blood. Surprising if you consider that the whole machine broke down while trying to squeeze the two brothers to death. Suddenly, Pinkie’s and Rainbow’s eyes jumped to each other.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Dash wondered.

“I sure hope so!” the pink mare replied, grabbing a mug, dipping it into the blood and downing its content all at once. “One!”

Immediately, Rainbow Dash picked up a mug as well, filling it up with blood and drinking it. “One!”

Now Pinkie filled up her mug and emptied it again. “Two!”

Rainbow followed as soon as her friend was done. “Two!”