Queen Swiss Cheese Legs

by Eventide100

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random
Length: 1073

Behold, Queen Swiss Cheese Legs

Chrysalis is minding her own peaceful business. That is until Discord shows up and as he does, her peace is nothing but a memory.

And on a side note, Chrysalis really hates Discord.

Published 2022-05-14 22:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-05-14 22:30:01 UTC

Queen Swiss Cheese Legs

Chrysalis looked out to the distance.

Revenge!

That was the only word that consumed most of her brain. Chrysalis dreamed of vengeance. She dreamed of destroying her most hated enemies. And she repeated their names in her head to not forget them till the day they would meet their end.

That sickening Starlight, for manipulating her subjects.

That treacherous Thorax for stealing her hive.

The two that ruled a whole other kingdom. Shining, her ex husband and Cadence, her greatest rival.

The two horrible sisters that ruled this whole country.

And most of all. Chrysalis could bet that every (remaining) major villain of Equestria would likely hate them the most. Their very first priority would be destroying these six ponies to ease their vengeance by eternities.

Those cowardly, troublesome, annoyingly powerful (and whole bunch of other unpleasant insults and swearwords) guardians of harmony.

Twilight Sparkle and her friends.

Chrysalis could scream to the whole of this world of just how horribly she hated them.

Especially Twilight. She was most likely the whole start of this irritating friendship thing. Even Discord was infected by this awful disease.

Chrysalis's face turned bitter as she thought of the draconequus. He used to be just fine. He's definitely the most powerful creature in the universe. The shame of him turning over a new leaf to the changeling queen, is just too great.

"Discord," Chrysalis mumbled with a shake of her head.

"Did somepony just call me?" his voice magically popped from behind her.

The queen immediately spun around to face Discord. He was there, resting on a sofa that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

Chrysalis's surprised look instantly crumpled into a scowl. "Discord!" she hissed.

He looked up from the book he was absorbed in (which also appeared out of nowhere). Discord rolled his eyes. "Yes, that is my name, you know," he said matter-of-factly.

Chrysalis growled, "what are you doing here!?"

Discord stared at her with wide eyes before his expression turned snide. "Oooh, you got a problem, Chrissy?" he teased. "You seem awfully annoyed just because I'm here."

"Don't call me that!" Chrysalis spat. "And yes. I am annoyed because your here. I wanted to be alone."

Chrysalis bunched up when Discord coiled his snake like form around her neck. He craned his head up to meet her eye. "Awww, Chrissy, you all alone?" he said coyly.

Chrysalis paused.

Yes I am a part of her deep down said. Outwardly, she glared at him. "I don't care! I don't even need anypony. I'm fine on my own," she muttered finally while turning her head and sticking her snout in the air.

When Chrysalis flicked her eyes to see, Discord raised his eyebrow. "Hmmm, so not even one friend will do?"

The changeling snapped to rage instantly. "I don't do any of that friendship nonsense, and never will! I already saw how disgustingly it infected you, I won't let that happen to me!"

She was practically snarling by the time she finished. To her surprise, Discord only looked amused.

After a while of staring at each other, Chrysalis scoffed with annoyance. "What!?" she snapped.

"Can I call you Queen Swiss Cheese legs?" he asked.

Chrysalis reared back with a dumbstruck look. As though she was affronted. "What?"

"Queen Swiss Cheese Legs," Discord repeated. "Get it?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

Chrysalis's eye twitched. "Queen. Swiss. Cheese. Legs," she parroted. "You... want to what!?" She couldn't stop saying that word after what she just heard.

"I want to call you that," Discord explained with an leisurely tone that made Chrysalis's brain feel like it flew off. "why? Well, your legs look like Swiss cheese. I thought that was pretty self-explanatory, to be honest," he mumbled while scratching his chin.

"You. Are. Not. Going. To. Call. Me. That." she hissed dangerously.

Discord rolled his eyes again. "But don't you think it's a rather fun name? Chrysalis is just too boring," he waved dismissively.

...

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CALL ME THAT, OKAY!!! CALL ME CHRYSALIS. THAT IS FINAL!!!"

Chrysalis's throat began to hurt from the yelling but she didn't care at the moment.

Discord didn't seem bothered by her harsh tone though. Instead, he leveled a stare at her and stuck his serpentine tongue at her. Chrysalis's bones were on fire.

"Don't you dare disrespect me!" she raged. "I gave you an order, so you follow it!"

She was seething when he shook his head at her. "Come on, Queen Swiss Cheese Legs. Friends aren't supposed to give orders to their pals, right?" Discord asked, as though she was the most knowledgeable creature with the topic of friendship. How stupid was he?

And wait, he was using that idiotic name again. How dare he!?

"Discord, I said to not address me with that name. And we are not friends. How many times should I repeat that?" she demanded.

"One million times," the draconequus answered.

Chrysalis grit her teeth. "I swear, if you make me do that, I'll rip your head off," she threatened. Even if she knew she had no power at all against Discord. She'd be quite foolish to even dare. And regarding the way Discord was behaving with her, he'd likely just play with her if they ever got into a fight.

And, obviously, even Discord took notice of her useless threat.

"Hmmm, I'd like to see you try, Queen Swiss Cheese Legs," he said with a low voice.

"Ugh, don't call me that!" Chrysalis snarled helplessly.

That still didn't do much. Instead, it got worse.

"I'll only stop if you, at least, make my acquaintance," he offered.

Chrysalis stared at him. "Why, though?"

Discord shrugged. "I thought it would be nice to just speak with you sometimes. You know, when I'm bored."

The queen glanced to the side. Weighing her options. She was glad it wasn't a pony she actually hated that was asking her this. She didn't hate Discord as much as she hated other beings. Even if he was extremely annoying.

At last she made her decision. This decision was only made for the sake of the draconequus not calling that stupid name. "Fine, but just acquaintance, okay?"

Discord smiled. "Of course," he said.

And then he hugged her. Chrysalis bunched up again.

Still, a part of her deep down just couldn't help but admit that it didn't feel as bad as she thought.