Equestria and the Second Amendment

by aegishailstorm

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Adventure, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Nightmare Moon, Comedy
Length: 12434

"Sure it matters who's got the biggest stick, but it matters a hell of a lot more who's swinging it!"

America has many different subcultures. Among one of the most prevalent is the one which the nation was built on, all based around a single principal...

The right to Keep and Bear arms.

Also known as: The 2nd Amendment of The United States Constitution. Out of the massive assortment of people that own guns in America, there are a handful that stand out above their rest on account of their influence of the 2nd Amendment community on social media. You may already know them by their online names; Brandon Herrera, Garand Thumb, Donut Operator, Demolition Ranch, Angry Cops, Kentucky Ballistics, Hickok45, the list goes on and on... But, when this rather special group of individuals gets stranded in Equestria, right at the beginning of Season One of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and come face to face with one Nightmare Moon. It's up to them to figure out how to stop her and get back to earth intact.

Shouldn't be that hard, right?

Published 2022-05-30 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-06-23 03:59:56 UTC

"If You've Ever Been Attacked by a Magical Chicken..."

Somewhere in the Kentucky wilderness...

A man stood at the edge of gun range. Arrayed along it's far side was a set of steel and paper targets. Not that odd for the rural American Midwest, right? Wrong. Because, you see... This particular man just happened to be in possession of a YouTube channel by the name of Kentucky Ballistics. Now, today was a very special day for him. It was one year to the day that he had almost lost his life to an exploding .50 caliber bolt action rifle. And, to celebrate the fact that he was still alive, he had taken the liberty of buying yet another rifle chambered in .50 BMG. Just to give the universe the finger.

Scott knew that there was something off about the rifle as soon as he took it out of the box. Sure, at first glance it appeared to be just your average M82 Barrett. But closer examination revealed that a myriad of strange glyphs had been etched into the upper receiver of the weapon. Everywhere from the charging handle to the stock had been decorated in the same fashion. As for what these glyphs were? He didn't know. But he had a video to film and upload, and it wasn't like he was about to keep his fan's waiting. So he set the peculiar rifle up on it's bipod on a table. And directed his camera man to start recording.

"What's up everybody!? It's Scott here with Kentucky Ballistics and today I've got something special for y'all." The camera panned around to the strange .50 cal sitting on the table. " Now, I know we've done Barrett's on the channel before. But this one is just a little bit... Uh, how do I put it? Custom." He zoomed in closer, " I bought this one at a pawn shop just down the road. Uh, funny story actually, the guy who sold it to me said that the original owner of it just handed it in and took off running. Didn't even wait for payment. They then took it to a local gun shop and had it inspected. The people there found nothing wrong with it so they put it up on the shelves for sale. And as you can see, it is now mine. So, let's give it a try. "

Scott loaded a single round into a magazine, and then inserted that into the rifle. He then put on a set of amplified hearing protection and his eyewear. He took aim at a target about 80 yards down range, chambered a round. And fired. However, when he pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Then, the rifle began to glow. And shake. But before he could stand up, it exploded in a flash of light, his camera man jumped back, and when the blindness from the flash of light wore off, Scott was nowhere to be seen. All that remained was a smoking brass casing lying on the ground next to the surprisingly intact table.

"Uh, what just happened?" He murmured in shock. Unbeknownst to him what had just happened had also set of a chain reaction of other such events across the United States. All tied to Scott's friends.

Garand Thumb, aka, 'Mike.' Was out on his own range with a milled slide Glock 34 and full kit. Running and gunning from mock cover to mock cover for one of his famous cinematic video intros. When all of a sudden, the image of what had just happened to Scott flashed in his mind. And he disappeared in a flash of light with an expression of utter confusion on his face. A second later, his cameraman fell through the ground as well.

"... Oh no, my Drill Sergeant sense is tingling! But that could only mean one thing, my friends got teleported to another dimension? What the fuck!?" A.C screamed out in terror. Collapsing on the floor, he reappeared a second later clad in a U.S Army drill sergeants uniform and death gripping an M4. " Ahhh!!!" He laughed like a maniac and disappeared through the wall behind himself in a flash of light that dumped him out onto the bank of a creek.

"What's up guys? Donut here! Today, we're going to be looking at a shooting that took place in-" Donut Operator, aka Cody Garrett looked at his computer screen in confusion. In place of the body camera footage which he had saved on his desktop just hours ago. Was a clip of what appeared to be a strange, unicorn thing with wings emerging from the moon and descending over a gloomy forest. The scene panned down through the trees to reveal... Was that Mike?" He looked at the camera, and blinked just as a wave of magical energy swept over him. Taking the firearms in the room with him. And leaving only the fading silhouette of his body in it's place

Brandon Herrera sat by his computer. Just minding his own business, mostly browsing through emails of people asking him to finish the AK-50. A variant of the AK platform chambered in .50 BMG. Between that, keeping up with his YouTube channel, and keeping up production at his company. He had a full plate. What he didn't expect when he stopped to take a swig from his whiskey, was for a wave of purple light to come flying right through his wall and smack him in the face. Sending him tumbling into another dimension.

"Welcome to Demolition Ranch! Today, we're... Umm... Actually, we didn't really have anything planed for the day. Well, that was before this... Magical portal thing appeared on our ranch. So, uh, we're gonna take the truck and golf cart though it and see if we can't find some alternate universe space Nazi's to kill! For, uh… Monetization reasons, that was a joke. Probably. " Matt silently damned the YouTube algorithm under his breath. And the camera cut to Demolition Ranch’s military surplus truck driving through a magical rift between the Texas wilderness and whatever was on the other side. Followed by a golf cart sporting an M2 Browning .50 technical while blasting the metal version of the Star Spangled Banner as it drove through the rift.

"Oh, and one more thing, guys. If we don't come back, please call the National Guard, if they don't pick up. Go straight to the Army, ok?" He gave the camera a thumbs up. The video blog cut to black.

"Ugh, were am I?" Brandon Herrera looked around, dazed. He then peered down at the liquor bottle in his hand. " What did they put in this?" He rubbed his head in pain and stumbled to his feet. Immediately it came to him that something was wrong, namely the fact that his office was now gone. Replaced by an eerie forest. “Hello...?" He sarcastically asked the dark wood. " Is anyone- No, is anything, out there? Alright, let me rephrase, is there anything that want's to kill me?" There was still no answer. His put his hand on his forehead and groaned. "What the hell just happened to me?" As the words left his mouth there was a sudden rustling in the bushes. And a certain angry drill sergeant jumped out. Holding a billy club in his left hand. " Oh, hi Brandon!" The angry man said, waving the club around like a caveman. " Did you, uh... Happen to see a demonic chicken looking thing run through here!?" Brandon Herrera blinked in confusion again. " Uh... Not that I know of. Hey, Richard, do you happen to know where we are-"

"My first name is Drill! My last name is Sargent! Do you understand!? But no, I don't know were we are." He said casually, breaking character and propping himself up on a tree. " Well... What do we do now then?"

"Hey guys, what are you doing here!?" Garand Thumb came running out from the same hole in the brush that Angry had. Clad in his plate carrier, war belt, and ballistic helmet. He carried a kitted out Benelli 1301 on a sling around his back and an equally furnished high-end AR-15 in hand. The Glock 34 from before had been placed into a shiny new holster. His camera man was following close behind, wearing an old Mich 2000 helmet and a terrified expression on his face.

"Hey Mike, how'd you get here?" He frowned. " One moment I'm filming a video, next I'm... Wherever here is." He looked around at the 2 other middle aged men. " I jumped through a wall!" Angry laughed. Garand glanced over at Brandon, who just shrugged. " Don't look at me, one moment I was sitting in my office, next thing I knew I woke up here, and then he came running through the bushes. Then you walked up. The other 2 looked down at Brandon's feet. Down at the dozen or so rifles and sidearms of varying calibers. All lying on the ground as though someone had just dumped them there. " Uh, Brandon?" A new voice called out.

It was Donut Operator, aka, Cody. Holding a coffee mug in his hand, he had a 9 mm Pistol Caliber Carbine slung over his shoulder with a modestly priced red dot. " Uh, hi guys. I have a ton of questions. Numero uno, how did Brandon's entire arsenal end up here?"

"Oh, this?" Brandon Herrera knelt down and dusted off his VSS Vintorez-which was miraculously still loaded, along with most of the other guns that were there, though there were no spare magazines to be found. "Uh, this isn't even half of what I have. The rest must not have teleported here with me." Donut scratched his head, " Are you implying that we-or at least you, teleported here?"

"Well, I mean. It's not entirely impossible!" A.C shouted. " Well, unless someone drugged you, and then dumped you all the way out here. But that teleporting idea just makes more sense! I mean, how desperate would they need to be to kidnap someone like you!?"

"I don't know. Moving on, assuming that we did in fact, all get transported here to this forest, I motion that we try and find our way out of here and back to civilization." Garand Thumb reasoned, everyone else in the group nodded. "But first, we need to figure out what to do with all these guns. I mean, we can't carry all of them. But we also can't just leave them here."

"Plus, you know, they're mine." Brandon added, the rest of the group looked over at him. " How 'bout you carry 'em Brandon?" Garand Thumb pulled his back pack off of his back and grinned. " You know, I can dump most of the stuff I have in here right now and stuff it in my chest rig. You can just toss them right in there."

" C'mon guy's, this isn't Tarkov-"

Brandon Herrera did indeed end up carrying the majority of his guns along with him on his back. Though A.C was nice enough to take his only FN Scar 17. And Donut took his loaded RPG 7 with the claim of wanting to, "hold on to it for safe keeping." What a load of bullshit that was, though Donut was a friend, and he trusted him enough to not waste the only anti tank rocket they had on anything that wasn't important enough to warrant it. " Hey guys. Did you hear something?" Donut asked, freezing in mid step.

"No shit, something's trying to creep up on us. What do you think this is, a kids show? C'mon, we're grown ass men, no need to be scared by some spooky noises in the bushes. Someone go figure out what that was. I vote A.C." Brandon Herrera quipped. The Drill Sergeant seethed in irritation, and stomped his way over to the bushed where the ominous screeching noise was emanating from. And reached into it.

"Hah! See!? Told 'ya there wasn't anything to be scared of-" There was an awkward pause as he felt his hand grab onto something, and slowly raised it up above his head for them all to see.

"What the hell is that thing?" Garand Thumb's camera man inquired. It looked like a chicken, only mixed with a dragon. It let out a horrendous squawk. It's eyes flashed red, and Garand Thumb began to notice that his right foot was slowly turning to stone. " Huh." Was his unusually calm response. A.C clubbed it over the head, but it just bit him and jumped out of his grasp. And, to add to the beast they were already dealing with, a wolf which appeared to be made out of wood emerged from the tree's behind Brandon. Everything very quickly went to shit in the moments that followed

Garand fumbled to get away from the creature's literally petrifying gaze and franticly hacked away at the stone slowly creeping it's way up his leg. Meanwhile Donut tired to fend off the wooden wolf. He finally lost it and unslung his semi automatic carbine and began firing at it while franticly running away in terror.

The sudden gunfire caused everyone in the group except Garand Thumb and his camera man to jump. Brandon raised his VSS to fire, but only got a clean line of sight on the wolf-thing just in time to watch the monster fall to the ground and the green glow fade from it's eyes. Meanwhile, the chicken thing and A.C had gotten into a wrestling match over the Scar. And, Mike, still partially petrified, raised his AR to put it down. But lowered it when he realized that it was far to close to A.C to risk a shot.

"Brandon! Don't just stand there, help!" Donut shouted, Brandon Herrera just pointed back to the 50 or so pounds worth of firearms and ammunition on his back. " Don't lose this. Oh, and pass me the MP 5. 9 x 39's worth a fortune these day's!" Donut fumbled around in the backpack and pulled out an MP 5 topped with an EOtech sight and a foregrip. Brandon unslung the sack and ran over to A.C to help pull the chicken thing off. Just then, another one of those wolf things came out of the forest baring it's fangs. Having finally had enough, A.C grabbed the egg-laying abomination by the neck with all his might and chucked it at the wolf.

The chicken-dragon thing slammed into the creature's side. And the two fell in a heap. The both of them fought to get off one another, when all of a sudden the crack of an M2 Browning heavy machine gun rang out through the forest. Tearing both of the monsters to shreds. A half second later, a golf cart flew through the trees and came to a stop right on top of their corpses. Matt, the head of Demolition ranch was in the drivers seat, Omar, aka, "Crispy. Was manning the .50 technical on top. He had earned that nickname on account of a rather unfortunate incident during his time in the military which had cost him one of his legs. He was still high in spirits though, and more than happy to come along for the ride. And, to everyone's surprise, Scott, from Kentucky Ballistics.

"Tell me you got that on camera." Garand whispered to his camera man, who gave him a discreet nod.

" Hey guy's, small world huh?" Scott asked them. The entire group blinked in utter confusion. "Hey, Mike, you ok there buddy?" Garand Thumb nodded as he shook his foot free of the stone. "Yep, thank god it was only temporary!"

"Great! Now, everyone in!" Matt shouted, pressing down on the tiny horn twice. The group piled into the small golf cart." Boy, have I got a story for you!" Matt hit the pedal, and twisted the wheel around, sending the cart back off in the direction it had come from. Just as the sun began to set on the horizon.

Redneck Engineering

As the uncannily small and heavily armed golf cart drove through the thick brush of the Everfree forest. Scott explained to the group how he had ended up in this strange world. Though he wasn't a hundred percent on all of the stuff. Most of it was just a collection of far flung theories. This is what he currently had:

The rifle which he had fired off that morning was most definitely the cause of all of this.

Whatever caused him to be brought to this place had also pulled his friends in as well. Who were all in the same profession and or hobby as he was.

Donut had confessed to having a, 'vision,' of sort's, just moments before being dumped out into the forest. Consisting of what he could only assume was what was their... Reason for having been brought here? Nothing made sense any more.

After about 20 minutes of driving through the dark forest the group arrived at an improvised forward operating base set up by Matt and the other members of Demolition Ranch. The outer limits of the FOB was little more than a few tree's which the truck had knocked over and a few sandbags. Bona fide redneck engineering. Simple and mundane, but effective. The interior contained the surplus truck itself as well as a few crates of ammunition and supplies. With an American and Gadsden flag flying high overhead. Just past all of that was a shimmering rift which linked wherever they were now to the Texas wilderness back home. Sure, they could just go home right then and there. But where's the fun in that? Surely, they had to be there for a reason, " Oh look, another one of Scott's fifties went kablowey again. And it sent us all to gloomy forest with scary monsters." They were all on board with helping to get that answer. But first, before they went out on any expeditionary missions. They needed to rearm, rehydrate, and eat. Plus, they needed to update their viewers on what had happened since they were gone.

"Hey there guy's! Haven't seen you in a while!" Leaning up against the outer wall of the FOB was a grizzled old man with an M14 slung around his neck and an M1911 on a holster by his side. Also known as Hickock45, aka, Greg. The group of middle aged men waved to him as they piled out of the cart and immediately headed for the nearest box of MRE's and water containers. But Matt waved them over to a barbeque, and raised the top. " Brisket. Snatched it out of the freezer right before we left. It look's to be about ready. Eat up!" The group stormed over to the table and each devoured their portions while doing the the best they could to preserve their manners. By now the sun had entirely set over the horizon, and the camp was now only illuminated by a handful of lanterns which Matt and the others had brought over from earth. And the men's weapon mounted light's. Which were only on part of the time. After eating, they all sat down around a fire near the center of the camp.

"Alright, everyone, we'll be sleeping in shifts. Cody, Brandon, Scott, Greg, you ok with being first?" They all agreed. Though Brandon was a bit more hesitant on account of his aching back, which itself was the result of having to drag an, 'reasonably sized.' Collection of firearms through one of the densest forest's he had ever had the displeasure of having to hike through.

Now, as the night went on, the group alternated to Mike, Matt, and A.C, and just as the shift change occurred. Mike began to hear things in the tree's and bushes just beyond the perimeter. At first, Garand though that it might have just been the wind. So he ignored it, then, when it happened again, he decided to go and shine a light into the forest in an attempt to figure out what was going on. Still, nothing. So he stood there on the perimeter wall until eventually, his sanity began to slip. He was sure that there was something out there, but wasn't quite sure what it was. Eventually he got fed up with the rustling, and told A. C to watch it while he woke the others.

"Ugh, what is it Mike? Did the Space Nazi's show up?" Matt commented. He shook his head, " Nope. Everyone, get up! There's something out there and it's pissing me off!" He looked over at the mess tent, where Brandon was standing with a mug of coffee. Garand Thumb glared at him. He just shrugged in return, " What? I couldn't sleep. Hey, whatever the hells out there is keeping me up as well." He grabbed an AK74M off the folding table next to him, and hurried over to the other's. Who were in the process of grabbing and loading up their own guns. Together, the group of men fanned out into a defensive formation around the camp. And it wasn't long before they found exactly what had been causing the disturbance. And this time, Garand actually knew what it was. It was a cross between a lion and a scorpion and, just to make things weirder, it also possessed bat wings. Ok, just to make things clear, the fact that they now knew what was stalking them didn't make it any better. Because, at the end of the day, or, rather, night. It was still a fucking manticore. And a very angry one at that. Less than a hundred yards away from their outpost.

"So... what now?" Donut asked the rest of them. " Well it hasn't attacked us yet. So, maybe it's just passing by?" Matt reasoned, this was disproved when the creature caught sight of the group and charged at the walls with it's tail raised high above it's head. And, seeing that none of them wanted to die that day to either claws, fangs, or a stinger the size of a forearm they all engaged it at once. And, out of the nearly 20 shot's fired in under a second and a half, only 2 struck it; A nine millimeter from Donut's Carbine in the upper leg, and a 7.62 by 51 from the FN 17 which Brandon had let Angry borrow to the midsection of it's stinger. It howled out it pain and thrashed around, as it did so it stumbled right into a patch of brambles, causing it to become even angrier. It roared and ran off into the darkness and out of sight.

"Beer?" Brandon Herrera asked the group with sarcasm, slinging his AK over his shoulder. The rest of the group looked over at him nonchalantly and nodded. And so they left to wall and headed for the cooler. When, all of a sudden, they heard what sounded like hooves on the far side of the compound. So Donut went over and shined his flashlight into the dark. The expression on his face when he turned to look back at the group said it all.

"Uh... Guy's? I have a visual on what appears to be six multicolored ponies. And yes, after everything we've been through today. Y'all ought know for a fact that I'm tellin' the truth." Hickock put his hand on his head and shook it." Holy shit." He walked over to Mike's camera man and shook him awake. " Hey, get the camera rolling, you're.. Well, you're probably gonna believe what Donut just found. C'mon!" The camera man grabbed his helmet and camera, switched on the infrared future, and began filming. The group all scrambled to the top of the wall and looked over it.

Sure enough, standing a mere fifteen yards from the men was a group of multicolored ponies, though the former police officer had failed to mention one critical thing; 2 of these multicolored equines had horns affixed to their head, and 2 of them possessed wings. "Incredible." Mike murmured.

" Um... Hello? My name's Twilight Sparkle. " The purple one at the head of the group spoke. Brandon's eyes wandered from the creatures, back to his friends, then back again. " Just so we're clear, does everyone else see this?" They all gave silent nods. "Umm... Hello there?" The one who had identified herself as 'Twilight Sparkle' repeated. She held up one of her legs to shield her eyes from the weapon mounted lights. " Uh, Mike, first contact scenario, what do we do?"

"Oh I'll tell you what we do-" Angry stopped himself, and hunched back. " Actually, I don't know. Though I'm pretty sure the Military has a plan for this kind of stuff... That they never bothered to tell me about, so fuck it! Someone go introduce themselves!"

Improvise. Adapt. Outgun

"Um... Hello there Twilight, my name's Cody. How are you?" Donut was the first to jump off the wall, and slowly begin to approach the six small equines. Covered on all sides by his friends, who all kept their guns trained on the group. Despite their relatively innocent demeanor. A combination of years working in law enforcement and the military, as well as common sense, had taught these men to be warry of things like this. Especially the pink one. " As I said before, I'm Twilight Sparkle, this is Rainbow Dash, that's Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie." Angry snickered behind Donut, and Brandon put his and on his forehead and fought back a laugh.

"What are you doing out here? And, what are you?" Twilight asked him. " Well... That's a very long story. How about you? What are creature's like you doing walking around at night in a place like this?" He glanced back at his friends, who mouthed a silent, "Keep going" To him. " Ponies normally don't go out this far, we're looking for Nightmare Moon, have you seen her?"

Donut scratched his chin, "No, not that I'm aware of. Umm... Could you give me a moment to speak with my friends?" She smiled, "Of course, it's a pleasure to meet you Cody." He sighed and strolled back over to the barrier, Mike took a knee and helped him up over it. " Well? What is it?"

"We've got a problem. I'm pretty sure y'all heard it as well. But they're out here looking for a being by the name of, 'Nightmare Moon.' Does that ring a bell for any of you?" Matt was the first one to speak up, he snapped his fingers, " Ah! Got it! Drewski told me about it one time. She's a character from this TV show called My Little Pony. But that mean's... Oh no..."

"What, what is it?" Brandon asked as he leaned up against his rifle. " Guy's, call me crazy-"

"Yeah, to hell with that metaphor. Don't you remember the past 12 hours?" Hickock raised his hand, " Well... Obviously this kid's tv show is real. Cody, go back down there and ask for details. Let's see if we can get any more information regarding this place and Nightmare Moon. Since I take it, none of you watch My Little Pony? " All of their heads shook at the question.
" Mike and I will go down and unpack the NOD's. Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling we'll be needing them. "

Garand Thumb and Greg headed off in one direction, and the other's stayed on the wall. Keeping their flashlight's trained on the colorful equines, who appeared to have been getting impatient. The one with the rainbow mane in particular. " Hey, why are we even bothering with these guy's?" She asked her companions. " Don't we have an evil alicorn to stop?" She nagged, hovering above the rest. Mike's camera man, who had remained with Scott, Matt, Brandon, and Angry spoke up.

"Um, hello there, you know, if you need any help with that, I'm sure we'd be happy to help." Angry leaned over, " Yeah sure! Let's go hunting for some eldritch monster. What a great idea! Hey, Donut!?" The camera panned over to Cody, who gave it a reassuring thumbs up. And turned back to the small equines.

" Umm... Hello there Twilight, just out of curiosity, who is Nightmare Moon, what's her backstory, and is she a threat to any of us?" She raised an eyebrow, then opened her mouth to respond. " It all started 1,000 years ago-"

"We don't have time for this, just give me the redneck explanation." Twilight raised an eyebrow. " What do you mean?" It suddenly occurred to Donut that the unicorn in front of him had most likely never heard the term before. "Ma'am, let me rephrase, I want the simple explanation for all of this."

"There's this really powerful alicorn named Nightmare Moon, and we're on a quest to find the Element's of Harmony so we can stop her. Did you get that?" He looked back again at the camera. " Did y'all get that!?"

" Yes, we did!" Angry spoke up, tapping the brim of his hat. " Mike! You finished over there?"

"Yep! C'mon, let's you guy's geared up!" Donut hurried off away from Twilight and her friends, leaving them as confused as they had been when they first came across the 2Aer's camp. Though at this point in time, the human's intentions were entirely unbeknownst to them. Sure, Twilight and the rest of her group had at the general assumption that they were some type of warrior's. And that they were good willed, but nothing beyond that.

While Twilight and her friends became ever more impatient, the group geared up. This time around they had not only their firearms but also plate carrier's, chest rig's and helmets, all equipped with either mono or dual mount generation 3 night vision devices. Money well spent as far as they were all concerned. And, when combined with the wonderful infrared laser's mounted on the side's of their rifles, a nearly unstoppable force. So long as whoever or whatever you were opposing couldn't see in the dark.

All in all, the group had picked out that which they were most familiar with. As with before, Brandon Herrera had brought his AK74M along for the ride, Garand Thumb had brought Garand had brought his heavily furnished HK416A5. Angry had stayed with Brandon's FN 17, Donut switched over to Brandon's MP 5 on account of the full auto conversion. Matt had grabbed a Spas 12 and yet another AR, Scott grabbed a Sig MCX rattler chambered in .300 Blackout with a giant suppressor mounted to the end.

Hickock stuck with his M14, the only thing that changed with it was the PEQ flashlight IR laser hybrid mount he has screwed onto the side. And, just for the hell of it, a bayonet lug. And, obviously, they could leave Mike's camera man unarmed, so they gave him an Origin 12 with a drum magazine.

The collection of freedom loving American's hopped over the wall and noticed that the unicorn and her companion's who had been there just a moment prior had disappeared. A quick examination of the ground below revealed that they were headed southwest most likely in search of that, 'Nightmare Moon," Character. They probably got tired of waiting for them. This part of the forest appeared far to dense for Matt's truck to pass through. But that wasn't going to stop the half crazy Texan known from trying to fit his truck though it. And you know what? It actually worked. So now you had a half dozen well armed men in full kit with night vision following Twilight's tracks. This would be sure to go over well.

A Well(ish) Regulated Militia...

The towering form of Matt's truck rolled it's way through the thick brush of the Everfree forest. Following the multi colored equine known as Twilight's sudden disappearance along with what they assumed were her friends, the 2Aer's had decided that it would be prudent of them to go in after the purple unicorn, rather than wait for her to draw out god knows what out of the near pitch black forest. Which usually would have been lit by just the star's and the moon. But, thanks to their NVG's, they could see better than 'most anything in there.

"Hey uh, Mike? You sure we're going the right way?" Garand pushed himself out of the cabin and took a look at the ground speeding by ahead of them.

" Yep!" He gave Matt a thumbs up as he climbed back inside and the vehicle continued rolling down the overgrown path.

It wasn't long before the trail the team was traveling on widened out, it also panned down into a ravine. Running parallel to a ledge that was far to narrow for the truck to scale. Matt put the truck in park and signaled for the group to dismount. Mike and Brandon peaked over the cliffside into the canyon floor below and spotted the six small equines from before. Who appeared to be in the midst of getting their bearings. It didn't take long for them to discern their reason for being down there, as the collapsed section of cliff face made apparent.

"Next course of action?" Scott asked his friends as he took a knee on a nearby outcropping. "Well we can either stay up here and watch 'em from a distance. " Hickock suggested, " Or we can go down there and introduce ourselves properly. It's your call."

"Alright then. " Mike clapped his hand's, everyone stack up behind me, we're going down there-" Garand Thumb, alongside the other's watched as Hickock drew a pair of Glock 17's, each with a 33 round magazine and a full auto conversion kit, and began sprinting down to the canyon floor. "Ok then, guess he's first in the stack. Let's go!" He watched as Angry took off after Hickock. With a grin that screamed, " You gonna die today buddy." Plastered across his face. Brandon went next, though at a much calmer pace than the two before him, then Scott, then Donut. Until only Matt and Garand remained at the top of the ridge line. Matt tapped his boot on the truck's matted interior floor and whistled. " Where do we put the truck?"

" Eh, leave it here. It's not like anything in this forest can work it anyhow." Matt turned the truck off and reached for his rifle. He and Mike began their decent into the canyon just in time to hear a menacing roar, followed by 2 dozen shot's from Hickock's Glock's, then 4 rifle shot's. Then, to wrap it all up, what sounded like a door slamming in quick succession 3 times. The two easily identified this as a suppressed rifle report. And, a few seconds afterwards they heard the thump of a large animal dropping dead, finally, a distinctly feminine scream of terror rang out. Making them run down the trail faster.

At the base of the canyon they found both the thing that had been shot seven times by the other's, it was the manticore from earlier. Lying in a pool of it's own blood. About a dozen yards away, the equines were trying to calm one of their friends, the yellow and pink pegasus known as Fluttershy. Mike looked over at Brandon, who looked back at him and shrugged.

"Hey, it was gonna eat them." Brandon reasoned. " Self defense, betchca one of those snowflakes will still find something to get offended over!" Angry cackled, the ponies turned away from Fluttershy and gradually began to notice the half dozen plus armed creatures with strange glass eyes clustering around them.

"Hi Twilight!" Donut waved, " It's me, Cody. You know, the the human from before?"

"Oh dear, what are you wearing?" Rarity muttered as she dramatically held her hoof up to her mouth. " He's wearing eleven thousand dollars worth of the best kit money can buy. " Brandon responded as he pointed up at his set of amplified hearing protection. Mike sighed and walked over to Fluttershy.

"Listen ma'am, you can cry about that monster that was about to eat you all later, you're after Nightmare Moon, right?" He patted her on the head, wiped her tear's, and helped her up to her hooves. He then jogged back to his friends. Donut spoke up.

"That was Mike. This here is Brandon, Matt, Scott, Hickock, he also goes by Greg. And me, Cody." Donut turned around and looked back at the humans. " You already know their names, right?" Their heads nodded, and Angry waved the group along.

"C'mon! Let's double time it!" Rainbow Dash flew up to him. " What gives you the right to tell us what to do?"

"The patch on my uniform missy! Now get moving! Go go go!" He snapped his fingers, and pointed south west down the trail. The pegasus crossed her hooves and took up a position hovering above her friends as they all headed off on the path which they were originally on. The impromptu militia followed close behind, and it wasn't long before they caught up with the group of ponies and began making conversation.

Now, any sane person would expect that a group of "reasonably" well armed, freedom loving Americans and a half dozen multi colored talking magical ponies would have their differences, but this was ridiculous. Being that America, on paper anyway, offer's far more freedom to it's citizens. Equestria is the complete opposite, with Celestia exerting complete control over nearly all facet's of the nation. From it's standing army, to it's economy, and, to at least some degree, education. However, this is offset significantly by the fact that there is far less governmental oversight. And so the citizens of Equestria are, for the most part, left to their own devices.

In stark contrast to the American government. Which, most of the time, demands that it poke it's overgrown nose into the business of civilians constantly. Despite what the Constitution and Bill of Right's say. Still, all of this didn't prevent the 2 groups from getting along. Applejack and Rainbow Dash in particular were most willing to listen to what they had to say.

"Tell me more about this, 'Constitution,' of yours." Applejack asked Mike as they trekked down the dirt road towards what Twilight had called The Castle of The Two Sisters. "Well, you see, our nation was created a little over 200 years ago. It was the result of a long war with England, and the people who founded it decided that, in order to ensure that they were never subjugated under a tyrannical government, they created the constitution. It's a set of... Rules, if you will, protecting the freedom and right's of the American people. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world, and so they also created the Second Amendment, the ultimate failsafe-" He held up his hand and motioned for the column to halt.

"What is it?" Matt whispered, " There's something in the tree's, about 20 yards southwest. It's closing fast." He hefted his gun to low ready.

"Hey Mike!" Hickock called out, "we really don't have time for this, Scott, please grab the thermal." Scott unslung his assault pack and fished out a small scope. He adjusted a couple of dials, raised his NOD's, and put it up to his eye.
" Oh, damn. Guy's, I'm looking at something, but I'm not really sure what to call it."

"Give it to me." Twilight's voice squeaked from behind them. Scott shrugged and passed it to her. She ignited her horn and peered through the sight. "Oh, those blue wisps? That's Nightmare Moon. How does this thing work?" Scott grabbed it out if the air and stuffed it back into it's cushioned pouch.

Brandon blinked beneath is night vision, "Was that magic?" Twilight looked at him weird, " Of course, it was magic. That was a simple levitation spell."

He shook his head, " Alright, where did it go?" A cloud of glowing blue mist shot past them. " Oh, of course." Without warning any of the ponies, the group opened up on it. Considering this was at point blank rage, all 30- something rounds struck home. Though none of them seemed to actually effect the mist. Go figure, it's mist. However, it did freeze in place, as it stopped, the wisps materialized into the body of a unicorn- pegasus hybrid with black fur and a shimmering blue mane which seemed to hover in mid air.

" Hello there, Twilight Sparkle. I see you have made some new friends."

None of the human's opened fire this time. Rather, Mike snapped his finger and pointed at Nightmare. " Ah yes, but here's a question. Why are you doing any of this? Seriously, why? Tell me, why would anyone want eternal night time? And don't you dare go off on some bullshit rant about how it's just for revenge! Tell me. Now." This question seemed to both stump her and anger her.

"I've been stuck on the moon for a thousand years, I feel as though it's my right to-"

"Ah ah ah!!! That's where you're wrong buckaroo!" Angry walked up to her and stared into her eyes. " Now, I'm no scientist, but I'm damn sure what you're doing is terrorism. You know, what with the whole... ' I'm going to... Dispose of my sister and take over the kingdom. So, tell you what," He slid the FN 17's slide back halfway, revealing the projectile within the chamber.

"Either you stop being a pain in the ass and screw off back to that rock in the sky where you came from. Or we kill you right here and now. What's it gonna be? " This took the six by complete surprise, while they were busy cowering behind Matt, the other's were acting without a care in the world. Which meant one of 2 things, either they were ignorant. Or they actually were that dangerous. She decided to lean on side the second one.

"How dare you address me in this manner! You'll pay for this, you all will!" Nightmare Moon disappeared in a flash of blue light and a fading laugh. Angry stomped his foot. "Coward, sound's like a 6 year throwing a tantrum. Alright everyone, you saw that. We're oscar mike!" He signaled with his hand for the group to continue moving forward. And at the same time, the trees began to grow faces. Which were met by 7 middle fingers from the humans.

"Yeah, nice fuckin' parlor trick." Brandon whispered to one of the tree's. " You know, you look like you'd make an awesome new dinning room table. I'm just saying, I've got a hacksaw in my pack, I could start right now if I wanted." It immediately went back to being a regular tree.

"Holy shit that was trippy. Hey, ponies! Is this forest always like this, or is this like a one time thing?" The six were silent. Mostly because they didn't quite know how to respond to that statement. And Mike continued lecturing them about America.

Passive Aggressive

The squad of Americans casually strolled alongside the half dozen terrified equines. As though walking trough a haunted magical forest in the dead of night was a daily occurrence for them. Fluttershy and Rarity kept near Matt and Scott while the 2 humans did their best to ignore them. They had bigger problems at the moment, namely, how they were going to ford the river ahead of them.

" So, how are we gettin' across this?" Hickock asked, putting his hands on his hips and sighing. Angry popped up, " Well, you know... We could just go and call up the Army engineering corps. ' Oh hey, sorry to bother you General, I was just wondering if you could send a pontoon bridge as well as the infrastructure and personnel needed to keep it up in running to some far off magical fantasy world so we could help some magic talking horses stop another evil magical talking horse. Oh wait, I forgot, they don't give a shit about us! Matt, you already livestreamed that whole portal opening thing, right?" Twilight raised an eyebrow and turned around.

" What's he talking about?" Donut waved it off, "Uh... American problems. Let's get back to trying to cross the damn river, shall we?" He gave them a forced smile and a thumbs up. Which the Equestrians returned with confused looks.

"Uh, what are ya doin' Cody?" Applejack asked him, he scratched his neck, " It's called a thumbs up. It's a form of approval where I come from. Should've assumed from the start that y'all wouldn't get it what with the.... Well..." He motioned down at his hooves, Applejack motioned to his boots, and he shrugged. "Eh, fair point." Brandon squinted at the water. " Hey guy's, is the purple loch ness monster with the mustache a regular here?" Twilight trotted up to him. She noticed that it was crying.

"Would someone care to explain to me how a water dwelling creature can cry?" Mike asked, rubbing his forehead.

" I'd be more concerned with the fact that it's got a mustache." Mike's camera man pointed out. Scott walked forward, " Um, 'scuse me sir, what the hell are you cryin' about?" The massive creature swam closer to the shore, " Well I don't know, one moment I was sitting here minding my own business when a cloud of blue smoke whooshed past me and took half my mustache with it! I look simply horrible!" He went back to crying. It was uncanny to say the least. Then he ducked under the water, the Americans took this as a sign to step back, so that only the Equestrians ended up soaking wet.

" I know how important that mustache must be to you. Trust me, I've got one of my own." Donut pointed to his own face," But it's just hair, it'll grow back. There ain't nothing to cry about. Besides, who the fuck's gonna criticize you out here?" The serpent scratched his scaly chin. " You know what, you're right! Thank you so much!" Donut shrugged again.
" No problem. Hey, do you know a shortcut around this river?" The creature unfolded himself into a makeshift bridge.

"Ok, I'm gonna add that to the list of weird shit I've seen today." Brandon mumbled. " Alright, here goes nothing!" The 2Aer's
and the Equestrians proceeded to jump across the serpent's back until they were all on the far side. " Twilight and the other's took the time to say goodbye to the serpent. The humans were fine with a simple, " Thank you for the lift." Before departing. As they left the rivers edge Matt took the time to ask whether or not Twilight knew the right way to go. She assured them that she did.

The convoy broke out into yet another clearing. This perched over a foggy gorge and the remains of a rope bridge tied to two mossy stone posts, Matt did a quick scan of the far side with the thermal, and determined that, for the moment at least, there was no apparent trap. " Alright," Hickock turned around and looked at Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.

" You're the only one's here with wings, so we're gonna need you 2 to go and reattach that there rope bridge. It looks like it's still intact, someone just untied it on the far side. So, who'll it be?" Rainbow bounded off the ledge and into the foggy abyss below. She reappeared a few seconds later on the far side with a rope in her mouth and touched down on the far side.

"Hey, Mike?' Garand Thumb looked over at Hickock. " I don't trust a magic horse to tie a proper knot, think you can cross that gap?" He raised his NOD's and squinted at it, Rainbow had already tied the first half to the other side, so Mike, after tying himself to a line of paracord, decided to cross over on it. About halfway across he noticed that the fog had begun to thicken, until it fully obscured the far side. " Damnit." He shimmied his way to the other side as fast as he could. And when he arrived, he found Rainbow talking with 3 pegasi. These ones possessed a darker color palette and strange uniforms.

"Um, pardon, who are you?" Mike waved to them as he got to his feet, and heftied his rifle. It's as if his mere presence caused them to lose their spine. "Umm... We're the Shadow Bolts? We were just asking Rainbow Dash here if she'd like to join us?" He nodded, and scratched the hair under his helmet. " Sure, you know... I've gotta give it to you, your uniforms are pretty cool. But, if you don't mind, we've got places to be. " He took the liberty of fixing the rest of the bridge to the stone post's, allowing his friends and the Equestrians access to the other side.

"No! How did-" The lead pegasus clasped her mouth shut, the tone in her voice had suddenly changed to one which sounded a hell of a lot like Nightmare Moon. " Got something to say to us Miss Moon?" Donut asked the group. All at once, they turned to run, only to be cut off by one very pissed off Drill Sargent. Who had snuck around them while they were preoccupied with the other's.

" You came to this world expecting to face these little ponies, correct? Well to bad shithead! You've got us?" To tone in his voice was rather calm. And Mike knew why, you see, a drill sergeant is only calm where they're mad, very, very mad. The little grey pegasus dissolved into a cloud of glowing blue smoke and attempted to rush past him.

Angry reached up into the air and dug his nails into it. " You've earned yourself one hell of an ass whoopin' ma'am." He raised the butt end of his rifle above his head and violently bashed it into the cloud again, and again, and again. He might as well have ended the threat right then and there had Nightmare not slipped out of his grasp and disappeared into the fog. He dusted his hands off and turned around to find the all six ponies staring at him in shock.

'Where have you been all this time!?" Brandon shouted, " You vanished into the forest 10 minutes ago. How did you get over here!?"

" A Drill Sargent never reveals his secrets!" He exclaimed with a mischievous smirk, "The ravine ends 400 yards west, you guys could've skipped over this all. Just didn't try hard enough, no offense Mike." Garand smiled. At the same time this mist began to fade. Revealing the distinct ruins of a castle in the backgrounds.

"Wow. I swear to god if a knight in shining armor walks out of the woods with a dragon in town I'm goin' right back to the Jack Daniels." He shook his head out of anguish.

" Uh, Brandon, we are the knight's, it's just that our armor isn't shining, it's multicam." Donut responded, fiddling with his plate carrier.

" C'mon guy's, we've got a castle to clear out!" Mike shouted, waving the group along and pointing up at the castle.

"Can we go in first?" Twilight asked, " We need to find the Elements of Harmony, they're in there." The squad exchanged looks of confusion. " You need to find what? Why didn't you tell us about this before?" Scott demanded.

"You never asked. " Rainbow deadpanned. They all turned to Twilight. " Explain it on the way there." Angry told her.

How Not to Storm a Castle

The 7 humans and 6 ponies made their way to the entrance of the castle of the 2 sisters. For the humans it was... To say the very least, a once in a lifetime experience. They had all heard fantastical stories of things like thing both in their youth, and present day. " So... Element's of Harmony, right?" Brandon Herrera asked Twilight as he stared up at the rotting front gate and ramparts that stood in their path.

"Indeed we are," Twilight responded. Mike glanced back over at her. " What do they look like?" She ignited her horn again, and the shimmering image of 5 golden necklaces and one cheesy tiara appeared in mid air. Each one had a different gemstone at their center. " Huh? Look's like the Infinity stones." Donut joked, he followed it up with a look of, " Don't question it."

"So, shall we?" Matt asked gesturing to the grandiose door in front of them. "Alright, Brandon, Greg, Scott, stack up on the left side of the door We'll go right. Breach the door on the count of 3." Angry, Matt and Donut staked up behind Mike, and the other's followed though on the other side. " Twilight and the other's looked on with their usual confusion.

"Just stay out of our way, and you'll be fine." On the count of three the team beached both door's, sweeping left, right, and center at the same time.

"Alright, rooms clear." Mike shouted. "It's safe, you can come in!" Twilight and the other's nervously entered into the building after them.

"So, were exactly are the, ' Element's of Harmony' Twilight?" She pointed up at the half dozen stone spheres attached to 5 metallic arms which themselves restated atop a mossy stone pedestal which glowed with an eerie blue when the spheres were removed by Rainbow Dash.

"Weren't there supposed to be six?" She asked Twilight. " Is this a geode situation? How do we get them out? And, how in gods name are we supposed to stop that big angry horse with them?" Brandon questioned as he threw his hands up in frustration.

"Uh, what did you just call Nightmare Moon?" Twilight asked him, " Well... It's uh... As Donut said, we'll explain later." Pinkie blinked, did somepony say Donut!?" Cody facepalmed and groaned in frustration. " Yes, that's my nickname-You know what? We don't have time for this shit."

"You know, I kinda find it ironic we've gotten away with as much as we have. The profanity, the boom sticks, ect." He raised his AK74M. A few of the other team members uncomfortably snickered at the though of those snowflakes over YouTube demonetizing, age restricting, and suppressing their content. Sure they were fine with letting some waste of oxygen's video about them putting glue in their own hair make the front page, but when it came to anything gun related... It was the typical, " This content has been flagged as offense." Bullshit, didn't anyone ever teach them the concept of, ' sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me?"

Uh, just out of curiosity, where's the 6th one? And how do we get them out in the first place?" Angry questioned. Twilight sat down, " The book said that when the 5 are present a spark will cause the sixth element to be revealed. " Mike shook his head, " So let me get this straight, the fulfillment of this whole prophecy thing is dependent on us deciphering whatever the hell that vague riddle was?"

"Well... Yes." Twilight responded. Brandon clapped his hands and pointed down at the unicorn, alright, does anyone have a lighter? Or matches, I'm pretty sure either one will do."

"Plus, there's six of you little ponies here. 13 in total if you count us, but I don't thing we're supposed to be part of this." Hickock added. " How 'bout we just focus on trying to get these sphere's open first? After we've got five we can work on getting the sixth.

Angry flicked open his baton and stomped over to the one closet to him, he gestured for Applejack to back up before he began hacking away. "Damnit!" He yelled as he stopped abruptly. " What is it?" Scott asked him. " Well, I'm pretty sure this thing can only be opened by magic." Brandon scratched his head, " Let me guess, Drill Sargent's intuition?"

"You got it buddy!" Angry turned to Twilight, " Think you can figure this out?" She scrunched up her face for a moment, then nodded. " Sure, I can try." She sat down next to one of the little stone balls and lit her horn.

"Back up everyone, she needs to concentrate." Applejack asked the other's, who all backed away, with the exception of Angry. Who hovered over her while silently watching her every move. " Someone needs to stay here and make sure the blue smoke doesn't come back, besides, in what situation have I not made someone finish their work faster, and better?" But as soon as the other's had broken line of sight, the blue smoke returned and began to levitate the spheres into the air.

"Well shoot me in the foot and call me a 5 star general, back for more Miss Moon?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips and clenching his fist.

"Gah! Leave me be whelp!" Her voice cried out, in an instant it disappeared, taking the Element's, Twilight Sparkle and Angry with it. A menacing scream of primal anger echoed through the halls of the castle a few moments later. The remaining 11 rushed back into the room, " Mike, what now?" Hickock asked, rubbing his temples. Brandon Herrera was the first to raise his hand. " There's no way in hell I'm facing this sober." He proceeded to pull a bottle of vodka from his assault pack and take a sip from it. " So how about this, we break up into team's, and we sweep the castle floor by floor, room by room, until we find them?"

" Mostly solid idea Brandon, except for one thing. I'd rather we all stick together because, you know, we're fighting, well... You know who. And, I don't really thing we're gonna need to look hard because, well... Look over yonder. " Matt pointed out the window, revealing a distant section of the crumbling fortress emitting a bluish glow, and easily discernable grunts of annoyance and frustration from both parties involved.

Just to add to the chaos of the whole situation, Brandon jumped out of a nearby window. No particular reason, he just gave a winded thumbs up, and vaulted through the ancient stained glass window with a cry of, I need to get something!" the humans just stood their and stood there in confusion with their rifles hanging from their slings.

" Wow, uh, ignoring the fact that Brandon just went full Bear Grylls/Superman on us for no apparent reason... Let's go and stop the evil alicorn! Everyone, on me!" Donut waved them onwards, completely oblivious as to where Brandon had run off to.

Meanwhile, half a castle away...

Angry and Twilight appeared side by side, directly in front of them was a fully corporeal Nightmare Moon, with the 5 stone spheres suspended in mid air around her. She slowly cackled as a bolt of lightning flash in front of Angry. But, rather than scaring him, it only served to amuse him.

"What the fuck was that lady? Tell you what, you stay right there, and I come up there and kick your furry ass back to the fucking moon for making me and my cohorts hike that god awful forest!" He unslung his rifle and began stomping his way towards the alicorn.

'Umm... What are you doing?" Twilight asked him, to which he calmly answered, " Teaching dipshit over here a lesson." Nightmare Moon took this as a sign to charge at Angry, something she was about to regret...

"... Necessary to the security of a free state" Among other things...

"... Necessary to the security of a free state" Among other things...

With Brandon Herrera off to god knows where and Angry probably beating the crap out of Nightmare. The team had no choice other than to just continue deeper and deeper into the castle towards where they supposed Nightmare had taken Angry and Twilight. Despite the human's confidence, most of the ponies there couldn't help but worry about Twilight.

Mike glanced over at Fluttershy, " Ma'am, Richard's not trapped with Nightmare Moon, she's stuck with him. Not so sure how your friend's gonna fair though. " He shrugged and waved the group along as a rather anti climactic bolt of lightning arced across the sky. " You're gonna have to try harder." Donut whispered, knocking on his helmet. The 5 remaining humans alongside their equine companions made their way up to a set of enormous wooden double doors. Just like the ones at the entrance of the castle. The sounds of fighting and chaotic screaming emanating from within was a dead giveaway as to the identity of it's occupants.

"Breach?" Hickock suggested, racking the slide of his rifle back halfway in the most aggressive fashion possible. "Yep, Matt, Scott, Cody, and I will help Angry out. Hickock, you get to deal with the traumatized unicorn." Mike calmly explained to the tea, Greg shrugged. "Alrighty, as long as I can get a few licks in on Nightmare with the abusive end of my rifle!"

"Damnit Hickock, we're still being watched by them, you know that, right?" Donut gestured over at the 5 very confused ponies they had dragged along with them.

"Ah, I ditched manners as soon as I saw the mustache sea dragon thing back there." He confidently responded. Rainbow hovered up a few inches and raised a concerned hoof. "Er, what are we supposed to do? I mean, since you're so keen on bossing everyone around." She pointed at Garand Thumb, then at the door's. He tapped his boot on the floor a few times, then chuckled and shook his head. " You little ones will come in after us, go straight to Twilight's side, and stay there until you've been given further instructions. Is that understood?" Rarity returned his statement with a rebellious, " Humph!" Before spinning away.

Just as Mike and the other's had begun to get into position, there was a sudden rumbling at the door, and as soon as they had backed off, a very, very terrified Nightmare Moon crashed through it, scrambled back to her hooves, and began to teleport away just as a gunshot rang out, taking to top off her horn. She ducked and rushed off down the hallway, right past the the humans and ponies. Who watched on with confusion as she rounded a corner and disappeared out of sight.

From the crumbling remains of the door emerged 2 figures, Angry, holding his rifle in one hand and a chunk of Nightmare's shimmering mane in the other, and Twilight, who was shaking uncontrollably.

"Did you rip a piece of her mane out?" Donut asked, he sighed. " Yep, but in my defense, it was self defense." Mike facepalmed." You know what? I'm not even gonna complain, that was good." Angry grunted in affirmation, and stuffed the clump of shimmering blue hair into a cargo pocket. " War trophy."

"The uh, those Element of Harmony thingies are still encased in those stone balls, I don't know how to get them out. And I was to busy giving Nightmare a bad case of ptsd and trying to keep Twilight here from dying to figure it out." Donut looked over at Twilight, and then back into the room which they had just been in.

"Hey, you up for giving it another go?" She looked over at him, " Sure Cody, we have to stop her before she brings upon eternal night!" He blinked, I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"Leave it be Donut, she was ranting on and on about it while I was beating the crap out her. She's being serious." Scott opened his mouth to respond, but just as soon shut it. " And where did Brandon run off too?" Angry asked. " Uh, you weren't around to see that, wait... Is this that, ' Drill Sargent's Intuition,' again?" Angry winked back at him.

" You got it! Now," He clapped his hands, " Where'd she go?"

As soon as those words had left his mouth a flash of light lit up the room behind them, revealing a still ~~mostly~~ relatively intact Nightmare Moon. Standing atop the same podium as before with the 5 stone sphere's around her. " You didn't think to move them?" Mike casually asked Angry. Who glared over at Nightmare, then back at Garand Thumb.

"She just ran out the door, what the fuck do you think man? We were just going to go in there and snatch them up! Oh whatever, it's to late now." Angry shrugged as a bolt of magic flew through the doorway and struck Donut center mass, right in the thickest part of his armor.

It didn't kill him, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt, he doubled over for a moment, then got right back up and dashed to cover. Hickock, Matt, and Mike all swung around the corridor with their weapons to return fire, but Nightmare had already created a shield of magical energy around her. And, given that they were in no mood to test their luck as to weather it was the kind of barrier that caused bullet's to shatter and fragment, disintegrate, or just ricochet off. They all collectively decided it would be better for them to retreat back behind the stone wall's while Donut used the rpg 7 which Brandon had brought along with them. Donut turned to Twilight and the other equines.

"Go hide behind Mike and cover your ears!" They followed his order, and as soon as he had ensured that there would be nothing behind him to take a gust of superheated air to the face, he poked his head, and the launcher out from behind the now smoldering remains of the doorway, got the sight's aligned, and fired it off.

The warhead struck home, cracking and obliterating the shield. And when the smoke cleared, the alicorn underneath was left completely unguarded and in shock. Twilight took this opportunity to teleport over to the spheres and retake possession of the Element's.

"Now what do we do!?" Mike, Cody, Rainbow, and Applejack all shouted at the same time. " The book said that the sixth element would be revealed with a spark, so..." She ignited her horn, and a wave of purple magic washed over the 5 spheres, but nothing happened. " Well try again!" Angry yelled. She paused, " Wait a moment, it didn't mean a literal spark. It meant-"

"A spark of friendship? You better be joking." As it turns out, she was not. The 2nd time she attempted to open up the spheres, it worked. Only instead of necklaces and a gaudy crown being revealed. All that resulted from it was a collection of dull crystalline shards which in no way resembled the stone spheres from which they had originated from. The six ponies joined hooves, but still, nothing happened. It was at about this time that Nightmare regained her senses, and rose back to full height.

"Ah yes," Nightmare spoke up." You see, since these... Creatures here assisted you on your journey Twilight Sparkle, these shards here are neigh worthless." Angry snickered. " Care to explain that logic to us?" She just continued to laugh. He groaned and turned back to Twilight. " Is there any way we could jumpstart them?"

" I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can't just jumpstart a magical artifact. Right Twilight?" Mike asked the unicorn, who replied with an uncertain, " Maybe." The 13 of them turned to look back at Nightmare Moon, who was glaring back at them.

There was a sudden knock at the nearest window, which Donut promptly went over to investigate, it was Brandon, wearing an Altyn helmet and ballistic shoulder pads. His AK74M was slung over his shoulder. And in his one free hand he held, loe and behold. A fully completed AK 50, topped with a holographic sight. Only, this one wasn't quite what Brandon Herrera had intended. Along it's side were engravings and etchings, just like the ones on Scott's .50.

"Hey guy's, uh, sorry I'm late." Cody looked at the rifle in his hand, then back at Brandon, who was precariously perched on the a ledge just outside. " Where have you been man!?" He demanded, " And what's with the completed AK 50?" he blinked.
"Oh, yeah. I'll tell you later, hey, do you want me to... Uh, you know?" He pointed at Nightmare Moon and moved his thumb across his throat.

"Yes please." Cody responded. At this point, the other's had overheard the conversation and rushed to help him though the window. " No, no thank you. Not will all this armor on, I'll go around. Ok?" The group looked at one another, and by the time they looked back he was gone.

As Twilight and company once more attempted to put the Element's of Harmony together and reveal the sixth one. Brandon Herrera emerged from the window behind Nightmare, and gently tapped on her left wing.

" Pryvet." He said in Ukrainian, the suddenness of it all, combined with his face shield made her jump back in shock. Brandon meanwhile, leveled his gun on her, and fired off 3 rounds from the him. As he pulled the trigger, the etchings on the sides lit up, and the end result was the projectiles being infused with magic did to Nightmare Moon what a 40 Mike-Mike rubber bullet does to a deranged man with a knife. It dropped her on the ground, and this time, Twilight had actually succeeded in getting the elements to function. She, and her 5 friends lifted up into the air with the crystalline shards around them forming into the artifacts that Twilight had told them about. And they were even more grotesque in person. " Brandon, get over here!" Angry ordered.

"Nyet, rifle will do for cover." Brandon responded. A wave of rainbow colored light arced up from the six ponies and went careening down on Nightmare. The other humans all shielded their eyes, with the exception of Angry. Who laughed like a maniac the whole time.

"Well, did it work!?" Mike called out, rubbing the blindness from his eyes and watching as the six ponies floated back down to the ground.

"Gee Twilight, I thought you was spouting a bunch of nonsense when you told us about these things. But they actually work!" Applejack shouted as the other's admired the necklaces wrapped around their necks. " Well, I guess we really do represent the Elements of Harmony!" Twilight responded with a smile.

" What the FUCK just happened!?" Angry exclaimed, pointing his club out as he scanned the room. On the far side, Brandon raised the visor of his Altyn and walked back over to his friends. They all turned to look out the window, and noticed that the sun had finally began to rise.

"Well... I guess it worked." Donut murmured. A cry of success rose up from the men before Donut continued with. "Now why is the sun getting closer?" A few seconds later a bright light filled the other side of the room. And Twilight and her friends bowed their heads. From the light emerged an alicorn with white fur and a shimmering mane of varying colors. She appeared to be the exact opposite of Nightmare Moon. Which hopeful meant, she wasn't an asshole. " Should we kneel?" Brandon asked. "I didn't vote for her, besides, we're emissaries from another world. Hold." Mike whispered, The team stood their ground.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight exclaimed, she pranced across the room and took up a spot beside her. " I knew you could do it-" She paused when caught sight of the humans. " Who are they?" Twilight looked back.

"Oh, meet my other new friends! We couldn't have made it without them." Mike sheepishly waved. "And, you told me it was all just an old pony's tale." Angry laughed. " Hah! Those horse puns are never gonna get old!" He coughed into a fist. "Sorry, please continue."

" I told you that you needed to make some friends. Nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moons return, and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart. Now if only another will as well."

She looked back at Angry and the others. Then over at the spot where Nightmare had been standing, laying on the floor beside the scrapes of her armor was a much smaller alicorn with blue fur. " Princess Luna," Celestia began to walk towards her. "It has been a thousand years since I've seen you this, time to put our differences behind us, we were meant to rule together little sister." Twilight and her friends looked at one another in confusion. " Will you accept my offer of friendship?" Luna's response was just as Angry had predicted, " Yes." Finally, after a few seconds of heartfelt affection from the 2 alicorns, Celestia turned back to the humans.

" I must say, I never anticipated your arrival here, much less that you would help my student. It was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one at that. Thank you all." They tipped their hats.

" Well ma'am, it's kind of our thing." Matt responded. They all took turns shaking Celestia's hoof. Even Charlie, Mike's camera man, got a turn. " Allow me to formally welcome you to Equestria." She told the group.

All of a sudden Angry bounded up to the camera. " AND EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER!! Or did they?" The camera cut to black.